Overcompensating (2025) s01e07 Episode Script

1
Previously on
Overcompensating
Who will I be when you go?
I'm getting the feeling
your parents cared too much.
- Yeah.
- Have you ever kissed a guy before?
- No.
- Benny, I'm your girl.
- I'm a fag hag now.
- I don't think you can say that.
- I'm Benny. We should hang out sometime.
- Sure.
I told you about my family.
I played Slutslayer with you.
And I only came once.
You treated me
like I was nothing.
You're a toxic gaslighter
with no future prospects.
I fucked Peter.
They're all a
bunch of fucking losers.
"Tig ol' bitties.
Talks about dead bro too much.
Cleveland Steamer
fan. Orphan slut."
Well, now I have my
dating app profile sorted.
Are you okay?
No. Oh, my God. It's
so dumb. I don't care.
No, um I'm just excited about
Thanksgiving with your family.
Yeah.
"Kinda a pussy."
Am I kinda a pussy?
New topic, please.
It's like you've never
been cyberbullied before.
Hi, you on
campus this weekend?
Actually, this
is a good time to chat.
We need to get on the same
page before we see Mom and Dad.
Same page about what?
About Peter, obviously.
'Cause they don't even know that he's
not coming. Unless you told them.
No. I had my weekly call with
them and didn't say anything.
You have a weekly call?
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
It's really fun. We play
Rose, Bud, Thorn and then
The only time they
called me all semester
was to see if I wanted a
membership to CorePower.
- I'll take it.
- You have enough.
So when they ask where Peter is,
we're gonna say that he's sick.
Did he tell you why he
called me kinda a pussy?
And details really sell the lie,
so specifically Peter is
sick with strep throat.
Like how he lied about
me being kind of a pussy?
You don't even
know that was him.
Anyone on the pledge committee
could've called you a pussy,
so you need to get this whole leaked F&G
slide bullshit outta your system now,
okay, and stop talking about it.
Because I don't wanna have
to explain it to Mom and Dad
and tell them that, like,
Peter's spiraling or whatever.
"Peter has fallen ill."
Say it back to me.
- Peter has fallen ill.
- fallen ill.
Thank you.
Okay. Well, I feel like now is
a good time to also tell you
I told Mom and Dad I row crew.
- What?
- Just say you saw me in a race.
- No way in fuck am I doing that.
- Hey, Grace.
Where's Peter?
I kinda want a big lie
too so I can fit in.
We could lie and tell
them you were invited.
My son! My boy!
- Hi, Dad.
- Oh. Hi, Grace.
Oh. Glad you're here.
Hey!
- Oh.
- Hey, Dad. Ooh!
- Aw.
- Yeah. Hi.
Where's Peter?
- He's fallen ill.
- Aw.
Yeah. Uh, he was diagnosed
with strep throat.
- At the health center.
- Uh-huh.
On Tuesday. It was
raining. Stormy day.
Now we get Grace to ourselves.
Which is great 'cause I can use
that time to catch up with Benny.
You know, he's been so busy as the
star coxswain on the crew team.
- What's a coxswain?
- Dad, this is Carmen.
So nice to meet
you, Mr. Scanlon.
Oh, no. Call me John.
Carmen, I'm glad
you could join us.
Especially after Benny told me
what happened with your flight.
Yeah. You know how, like,
it, um it got bumped,
and then they didn't
have one until Saturday.
And I would have been
stuck on campus all alone.
- My son to the rescue.
- Uh Dad, what
- Oh. Invisalign.
- Oh.
- Ew, Dad. Oh, my God.
- Oh. Sorry.
Since I retired, I'm
finally taking care of me.
My babies!
John, why didn't you
tell me they're here?
I love you, I love you,
I love you!
Ah. And you must be
Carmen. Come here, girl.
We are so happy
to have you with us.
And is your mommy angry
that we're stealing you?
Oh, she'll cope.
Let me get this.
Oh! Looks like someone brought
a few outfits with her.
John.
Mostly books. Gotta
study for finals.
Oh, are you in the same
business class with Benny?
No. Um, English major actually.
She's, uh, an amazing writer.
No, really? Uh, have you
read Rob Lowe's new book?
Oh. No, I-I've missed that one.
Well, I just finished
it on audiobooks.
He's really a remarkable man.
I've been meaning to write a
history of our ancestors actually.
So, Dad, you're a writer, and,
Mom, you're a yoga teacher now?
Oh, no. That certification
was a nightmare.
This morning, I went
to self-defense class.
What did you learn?
Thank you for asking, Carmen.
Today, I learned how
you use the pivot foot
to push the energy through your
fist to take down an assailant.
- John, stand back.
- Yeah.
It's like this.
Power, pivot, punch!
- Right?
- Oh, wow.
- It's so good. It's so good.
- Hi, Stew!
- Hi, Stew!
- Ha, look who's back. It's Benny.
- Hi, Stew.
- Lucky seven, Benny boy!
Hi, Stew. I'm home too.
I know. We're so
excited. Where's Peter?
Mom, do you wanna
show me your pivot foot again?
- so much fun. Ah.
- Yeah, it's amazing.
Oh, my God.
Thank you, son.
She's a new addition.
You know, we had the 65-inch,
but 108-inch, curved,
this is a game changer.
Imagine March Madness
on this, Benny.
But staring at the yellow
does give him vertigo.
It's not yellow. It's Behr
saffron, and it's a knockout.
Would you
kids like something to drink?
Yeah, I'm
good with anything.
Wow. You guys really embraced
the accent wall thing, huh?
Every room.
Oh! Vitamin water.
Just trying to update the
house. Keep things fresh around here.
Dark
Uh, is that part of
keeping it fresh too, or
Oh, yeah. Your dad
tried to fix the lights,
and now they strobe.
So in order to stop it, we have to
turn off every light in the house.
So we've been mostly going dark.
For the record, the
wiring was not my fault.
No, no, no. You're right. And
thankfully, now that you're coaching
- Kathryn.
- What?
Oh. Oh.
You ruined the surprise.
Big news, Benny. I am now a
coach of the ol' Crusaders.
- Wow.
- Our hallowed ground.
Who says retirement has to
be spent on the couch, right?
- That's great, Dad.
- Yeah. And everyone asks about you.
So I thought maybe tomorrow
we'd drive around and say hi.
Although it's gonna be hard to explain
why you traded football for crew.
My son's not
getting soft, is he?
No. No, Dad. Uh,
football's club. Crew's D1.
Oh, you. You.
- That's my boy.
- Yeah.
- Well, he's my boy too. Mmm.
- Ah. Aw.
I have a little surprise that I
would like to share with everybody.
Well, I gotta get my workout in.
Hey, uh, Carmen, how
old do you think I am?
Mmm Fifty-six.
Yeah. Fifty-six.
Surprise!
So, a few days
after we dropped you at school,
I ran into Barbara Van
Horn at the Fred Meyer,
and she said, "Oh, what are you gonna do
all day now that you're an empty nester?"
And that really ticked
me off, you know.
What do you mean, what
am I gonna do all day?
It's not like I'm just gonna
sit around and do nothing.
So then I was at the mall,
returning a sweater at J.Jill,
and I realized
I should get myself a little day job.
Knock it off, Jagger.
Anyway. So I marched myself right
into the J.Crew factory outlet,
and I asked if they were hiring.
I didn't wanna do J.Jill. I
didn't wanna ruin it for myself.
And those managers
there hired me right on the spot.
Ugh, they are the best. The
sweetest gay and this bigger girl.
- Mom, you can't say that.
- I'm not allowed to say gay anymore?
Oh, no, "girl." The sweetest
gay and this bigger woman.
So now you have six Chow Chows?
Oh. Ashleigh working there had this
Chow she was trying to get rid of,
- and Barley had just died.
- Barley's dead?
Cancer. He went fast.
We didn't wanna bother you guys.
You were in the middle of midterms.
- Oh, my God.
- Anyway, so I took her and boom.
Miss Sugar was pregnant.
Sugar? That name is so sweet.
They are all named
after Maroon 5 songs
because I had just seen the
show with my mall friends.
- Which one's Payphone?
- That's Payphone!
I'm gonna go to my room.
Okay, make sure you
show Carmen where it is.
Why?
Well, I feel a little uncomfortable
having Benny share his bed
with his woman friend when I haven't
asked her parents' permission.
What the living fuck?
Language. You sound like
the kids who work at Zumiez.
So, Mom has lost her mind.
Why is Dad coaching?
Okay, Carmen, just
do us all a favor.
When the cousins get here,
if our Uncle Larry tries to talk to you
about his idea for a croakie business,
- just do not engage.
- Grace.
- What?
- They're not coming.
Mom told me that Zack
is dating a Mormon girl,
so they're spending all of Thanksgiving
with her family on a dude ranch.
Oh, thank fucking God.
Okay, well, maybe the Mormons
will love Aunt Linda's
hand-painted "Choose Joy" rocks.
You'll see them
all over the house.
Last year I got
"Laugh, it's free."
Well, I'm this way. So I guess
that means we're this way.
Oh, "Welcome to the Black
Parade." I love that song.
Yeah, I used to. I just
never took it down.
Uh Sorry for
invading your space.
I guess it's better than
sleeping in Benny's room.
You wouldn't want people
thinking you're a slut.
Carmen?
I guess I I'm gonna go.
You think we're
in the right room?
Shut up.
Okay, well, I just got back
from Spencer's Gifts next door.
- Oh. Yeah.
- What is going on?
Yeah.
Grace used to be
different.
Every year for the
Christmas card,
Grace would get $20 if my mom could
pick her outfit and do her hair.
Well, at least there
was profit in her lying.
And love in mine.
I don't think you needed
to lie about crew.
Your parents are so sweet.
Like, I feel like they'd be proud
of you no matter what you did.
I mean, this whole house
is a shrine to you.
No, it's a shrine to the
version of me they're proud of.
Well, it reminds me of the
pictures of my brother in my house,
except my brother's dead.
Lucky him.
I'm sorry. I don't mean
literally, it's just
Your brother never had the
chance to let your parents down.
- I don't think I can change, Carmen.
- Sure.
I think it would ruin them.
I've been gone three months,
and my mom's a groupie for Maroon
5, and my dad's a Property Brother.
Okay, well, too late.
You've changed, Benny.
- But they don't need to
- You're texting boys now.
They don't need to know that.
Okay. Well, are you
gonna text George back?
I want to, yeah.
Okay. Are you ready?
Mm-hmm.
"Nah, bro. Went home."
"Nah, bro"?
See?
I'm back here for, like, an hour,
and I become who I was. Fuck.
Well, speaking of lying, I feel like
I should tell Grace about Peter.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
- She should know he's a piece of shit.
- Please don't. No, please don't.
Doesn't that make
you a bad brother?
Yes. Please don't.
Grace will freak out and then
my parents will freak out and
They like Peter. They don't
wanna know who he really is.
Let's just get
through the weekend.
Okay.
I don't know
between my Catholic guilt
and my parents on a
Royal Caribbean cruise,
it's hard not to feel
like an orphan slut.
Fuck them.
Thank you. Yeah, I
know. I'm I'm fine.
Oh. He's cute.
What's going on here?
I guess. Just a
high school friend.
Okay. Aggressive.
No, no. I just, um
Last time I saw him, um
Just didn't go well.
Okay. Um, I kinda wanna go
help your mom feed Maroon 5.
- My mom loves you.
- Really?
Yeah. Who doesn't?
Grace.
- What?
- Nothing.
Do you guys wanna go
to a movie tonight?
We could. But, um, Jeff texted
me about the downtown bar thing,
so we could do that.
Downtown bar thing?
The night before Thanksgiving
downtown bar thing.
I've literally never done that.
Well, Grace, you don't talk
to anyone from high school.
For good reason.
Fuck the bar. Let's
go to a movie.
- I really Uh, yeah.
- Wait Wait, okay.
- You're telling me
- Okay, yeah.
you think Lady Gaga is sexy?
- Yes. I think Lady Gaga is sexy.
- Okay.
- What?
- What? I'm I'm
I don't know. Just, um
Okay. All right. What about
What about me?
What about you?
Am I sexy?
Yeah, dude. So sexy.
- Benny. Whew.
- Hey, Dad.
Mile and a half. Fifteen
minutes. How about that?
Wow. Yeah.
Hey, you like your wall?
Crusader blue, right?
Like it. Um
- Dad, what, uh
- You know,
Invisalign made it so hard to eat, I
lost five pounds. How cool is that?
You wear my clothes?
Well, they fit.
I came in here the day
after we dropped you off.
- I just wept.
- Oh.
Hadn't cried like that
since I was named Senior VP Northwestern
Central Division of the bank.
Uh, it's it's an
honor.
I miss my boy.
Miss you too, Dad.
- We're glad you're home.
- Yeah.
So, business classes good? Pete
still showing you the ropes?
- Yeah.
- Great.
- Good boy.
- Yeah. All good.
Aren't you proud of your dad, huh?
Finally your team has a good coach.
Not really my team
anymore, but
Two pair of socks and
these babies fit like a dream.
Oh! Ah, tonight, uh,
what's the plan? A movie?
I'm actually meeting
some of the guys.
Great. Uh Not
too late.
- Yeah.
- We got a lotta people to see tomorrow.
Yeah. Good to be home.
Hey.
Fuck the movie.
We're going to a bar.
To see those high school people?
Give me 20 minutes.
Hi, Kathryn. Can I
help you with anything?
Hi, sweetie. You are so nice.
You can keep me company.
Oh. Are you
a makeup artist too?
No.
My girl Rosa at the MAC counter
gave me a bunch of testers.
I was gonna give 'em to
Grace. I can't use any of it.
The names are really crass,
but they're really pretty.
I could show you.
There's this makeup girl on
YouTube I'm obsessed with.
- She has some pretty cool tips.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
- I would love that.
She got canceled three times
for saying some racist stuff,
but she's actually really
good at explaining eye shadow.
Do you do this with
your mom all the time?
Uh No.
Well, I had so much fun.
You're a real girl's girl.
Thank you. Um
Do you do this kind
of thing with Grace?
No.
I don't think Grace is a girl's girl.
Or maybe I'm just not her kinda girl.
Oh. Hi.
Hi, sweetie. Look at this beautiful
makeup that Carmen's doing.
It's really bold.
Do you have a tampon, Mom?
Oh, I don't think I do.
Menopause is over for me, even though
you could never tell looking at my face.
I have one.
Oh. Thanks.
You look so pretty, Grace.
You really do, sweetie.
Tampon?
Hey, Benny boy!
Hey!
Ah, you
piece of shit! Yeah!
I need a drink.
Yeah, yeah. Me too.
- What do you want?
- Um, whatever you're having.
- Okay, and you have an ID?
- Yeah.
Right.
Holy shit.
- Disgrace!
- Oh, my God.
She
looks so different.
I fucking hate her.
Oh, my
God, Disgrace is here?
I heard my mom talking
to Taylor B.'s mom,
and they were saying
how skinny she is now.
I mean, we're, like, the same size.
Did she say anything about me?
- No.
- Whoa.
Is that Disgrace?
She's kind of hot now.
Thank you.
Yeah.
How the fuck is
college, brolingua?
You getting laid, Ben?
You getting some nice puss-puss?
Yeah. Yeah!
Hey. That one girl you posted
had some fucking juga-wats.
Jugs!
She had some bazingas!
Bazingas!
What's up? Ah, I
missed you, bro. No homo.
Missed you too.
No homo.
Is it always like this?
Oh, the nonstop standing ovation?
It is literally always like this.
It was the same for my brother.
How old is he?
Oh. No, he's not. He's dead.
Oh, shit. I'm sorry. That's
brutal, Carmen. Fuck.
Although living in a
memorial shrine to him
and, like, parents that
only wanna talk about him,
it feels like you
kinda know the drill.
Yes, I know that drill. I do.
So Wait, why did you
wanna come to Idaho?
Wouldn't your family, like,
want you to be with them?
Especially if you're, like
Last living child? Yeah.
- Yeah, you would think. Um, no.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- They're on a cruise.
- Ew.
Yeah. They said they thought
I would be too busy to come.
So there was no flight thing?
Details sell the lie.
More drinks?
- Outside.
- Oh, shit. That weed is loud.
That's a fat blunt, but, you
know, um, they drug test for crew.
So I gotta skip, boys. But
yeah, have fun. See you, boys.
See you, Benny.
Hey, Benny.
Hey, man. Uh When
did you get here?
You saw me, Benny.
Look, I just wanted
to say I'm sorry
No need. Yeah.
All good, brother.
What's up, you piece of shit?
Okay, can we talk
about your bedroom?
What about my bedroom?
Grace, it looks like the set of
an Avril Lavigne music video.
Actually, I was more of
an Ashlee Simpson girl.
OMG. Wait, me too.
Wait. Did we order these?
It makes sense to me that
your room is so random.
Like, it feels like you're kind
of out of sync with your life.
Like, you dress like the F&G
girls, but you don't act like them.
- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't. You're not fake.
You're a bitch to me. You're
a bitch to me to my face.
- No, I'm not.
- Grace.
I don't mean to be a
bitch, like, all the time.
No. I wish I was like you.
I wish I could just be like a
stone-cold bitch and not care.
I care.
- I didn't need a tampon earlier.
- Hmm?
Yeah. I have an IUD,
obviously. I'm not 12 years old.
I just heard you
and my mom laughing.
Oh, my God. You
should have joined.
Like, I haven't said more than five
words to my mom in the past two years.
Holy
shit! It's Disgrace.
Shut the fuck up! Why
don't you eat "dis ass"?
Okay. Well, you were just
a bitch to someone's face.
I'm glad you're here.
Thanks. Me too.
Also if one more person
calls you Disgrace,
I'm gonna buy a gun.
Well, we're in Idaho, so
that won't be very hard.
I texted a naked picture of
myself to this guy in ninth grade.
- Nude photo Nude, like Full?
- Mm-hmm. The full nude.
I mean, it was blurry and my
bangs were covering my eyes,
but he showed it to the
entire baseball team,
and that is when
Disgrace was born.
Oh, my God. Do
you want to leave?
No, fuck it. I gave myself a
blowout for these assholes,
and I don't even know why.
I will always be
Disgrace to them
but I guess it's better than
being an orphan slut, right?
Too soon? Okay.
Yeah, I am a bitch.
And I'm just an orphan slut.
Why would anyone
write that about you?
Like, Benny I get.
He is kind of a pussy
but, like, "orphan slut"?
It's so weirdly specific.
Downstairs
karaoke starts in ten minutes!
Oh, my God. We're going. We have to
watch these hicks mortify themselves.
Come on. Come on,
come on. We're going.
Hey, what would
you rather have
a stapler mouth or
hole punch fingers?
- Or a pussy?
- You're a pussy.
Yo, what would you do if
you had a pussy for a whole day?
- I'd fuck Ellen.
- You couldn't handle her.
No
homo. No homo, bro.
Sammy. Hey, um
I saw you.
Obviously I fucking
saw you, but
Okay?
Sorry, I was I was
being kinda a pussy.
Yeah.
How's school?
It's really hard.
But I really like
California. So
Cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, Yates is, um It's good.
Your girlfriend, um The one
that came with your sister?
She's, uh She's
really pretty.
Oh.
She Uh She's not my
- Can I
- No, can I? Please.
I'm really sorry, Benny.
That day, I misread things.
Am I sexy?
Yeah, dude. So sexy.
What the fuck?
I'm sorry.
Faggot.
You You didn't
misread anything.
I was scared.
I still am.
I'm trying to figure it out.
College hasn't been good. Um
I caught feelings for
this straight guy.
It was the worst experience
of your life?
By a mile.
Yeah. No. I've been there.
I think about
you all the time.
You do?
Yeah.
And that girl,
she's not my girlfriend.
She's my fag hag.
Yeah, I don't think you're
allowed to actually say that word.
I think I can
now.
Right.
She is a hag, which
That would make you a fag. Yeah.
And for the record, Lady
Gaga is sexy.
Yeah.
And so are you.
Sorry. The line for the
bathroom was so long.
Okay, that was TJ singing "Driving Drunk
Through an Intersection" by Kurt Dillard.
And next we have Grace singing
"Welcome to the Black Parade."
I wasn't in the
bathroom. Details.
Carmen, I'm not singing.
Yes, you are.
Dude, you gave yourself a
blowout. Fuck these assholes.
Grace?
Go.
Hello?
- Fuck it.
- Grace?
Let's go, Disgrace! Whoo!
Well, play it.
Okay.
When I was a young boy ♪
My father took
me into the city ♪
To see a marching band ♪
Okay,
so we're gonna do this?
I think we're already doing it.
Okay.
He said, "Will
you defeat them? ♪
Your demons and all
the nonbelievers ♪
The plans that
they have made? ♪
Because one day
I'll leave you ♪
A phantom to lead
you in the summer ♪
To join the black parade" ♪
Yeah!
When I was a young boy ♪
My father took
me into the city ♪
To see a marching band ♪
He said, "Son,
when you grow up ♪
Would you be the
savior of the broken ♪
The beaten and the damned?" ♪
He's out banging horses
then fucking candles,
you know what I mean? Benny, did
Sammy trap you in the bathroom?
That's
so funny, Connor.
You weren't saying that an hour
ago when my dick was in your mouth.
Hey, you better watch
your mouth, faggot.
Don't fucking call him that.
What, are you a
faggot too now, Benny?
And other times I
feel like I should go ♪
When through it all
the rise and fall ♪
Power, pivot, punch!
Fuck pussy!
And we'll carry
on we'll carry on ♪
Motherfucker, you're a dead man.
Unbelievable.
Do you know how
stupid I look? Do you?
I told everyone I was
bringing you by to say hello.
But then you went out and
got yourself two shiners.
I had to cancel
God.
Hide those. I beg.
You are hardly one to talk decorum.
You're not even dressed for dinner.
Shampoo exploded
all over my clothes.
Is it, like, so bright in here?
Yeah.
Uh, honey
Oh, is that funny, Ben?
A little, actually.
You are so lucky Mike let
you off with a warning.
Do you know what an arrest
would do to your future plans?
Just because you're in business school
doesn't mean a job is guaranteed.
I guess it's a good thing I'm
not in the business school.
Excuse me?
I dropped out of my
business classes.
What? Why? Why?
Well, I hated them.
So?
Life isn't only about
doing what you want.
My God, what are
you going to study?
- I don't know.
- Don't know? You have to have a plan.
Peter has a job after school.
You don't just get to
go there and wing it.
Peter doesn't have a job.
He lied to impress you.
What? Wh Why
would he do that?
- You can't be serious, John.
- What?
- You lied.
- About what?
You didn't retire.
You were laid off.
What?
Let's not do this.
Oh, I'm going to.
I've let you ruin every room
in my house with accent walls.
That's Behr's Peacock Tail.
- And it's a knock
- Knockout. I heard.
And the team loves you
as their new coach,
except that you're one of
five assistant coaches.
And Behr's Peacock
Tail is fucking insane!
I'm not a coxswain.
What is a coxswain?
I'm not on the crew team.
You lied about that too?
You said you were the
coach, not the assistant.
That's irrelevant
to the conversation.
No, it isn't.
You kept pressing me and asking me
if I was playing a sport, so I lied.
You don't have to lie to us,
honey. You can change your mind.
Oh, can he, Kathryn? Life is so
easy, you can just change your mind.
We changed our minds, John.
Kids, we got a divorce before we
came back together and had you two.
What?
Anything else you want to
discuss tonight, Kathryn?
Yes.
You would stop getting vertigo
if you hadn't
spent my money on a TV
that distorts every
episode of Criminal Minds.
Sugar, knock it off!
Playing
"Sugar" by Maroon 5.
I'm hurtin' baby ♪
Well,
I am going to go watch
Band of Brother on my TV!
Maps needs a bath.
I think I'm gonna throw
up.
Beggin' I'm on
my knees, yeah ♪
I don't wanna be needing your love
I just wanna be deep in your love ♪
Should we say what
we're thankful for?
How are the black eyes?
My dad loved them.
I'm so happy I got to see you.
Me too, Benny.
Are you coming
home for winter break?
Oh, yes.
So that was
Insane?
It almost made me miss the
calm of Aunt Linda's rocks.
- Almost.
- Yeah.
I also wondered if you wanted to tell
me what really happened with your eyes?
Mom, I Um I
told you and Dad.
I I walked into the bar and
then there was this post
Oh, but, sweetie, I'm
in self-defense class.
I know a man-made
shiner when I see it.
Um
Sammy was at the bar.
Oh.
And, um, a few of the guys
called him a fag.
Well, that must have hurt
his feelings very much.
Yeah.
I think it did.
Well, good for you for
sticking up for Sammy.
Yeah.
And I hope I didn't
embarrass us too much
in front of that darling Carmen.
No.
It was just time, you know.
Your dad has been carrying
around all these secrets
'cause he wants to
be perfect for us.
For you especially.
And he's even trying to
fix his teeth, and
It makes me think of the rock that
Aunt Linda gave me last year that says,
"Perfection is boring."
You know that, right?
You know you don't need
to be perfect, right?
- Mom.
- Yeah?
There's something
you should know
Mmm.
"Laughter is free."
Free ninety-nine.
God, she's a freak.
I used the move you showed me.
You did?
- Power.
- Pivot.
Punch.
It's all so amazing, Mom.
The dogs. The self-defense.
Mmm.
- The mall community.
- They're wonderful people.
Yeah. I'm so proud of you, Mom.
Oh, my goodness. I gotta
get going.
Black Friday starts at
midnight at the mall.
You're You're working
tonight?
It's the Super Bowl
of shopping, honey.
Right.
And I told Preston and Tanya
that I would bring Starbies.
You Bring Carmen.
- Let's just get this over with, Ben.
- Okay.
Ready for the Christmas card, kids?
I hope Peter wasn't too lonely.
He's fine, Mom.
Carmen, you get in too, honey.
- No.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Come in.
I'm your Pacific
Northwest mommy now.
- Isn't this the Midwest?
- No.
Smile, Sugar. Smile,
Sunday Morning.
No one is ever gonna
see this photo.
"Peter Whitney, Dean
Ballick would like to meet with you
regarding the recent
Flesh & Gold leak.
Please respond with
your availability,
as this is a very serious matter of which
the school is taking immediate action.
Sent from my iPhone"?
Fuck pussy.