Scissor Seven (2018) s01e07 Episode Script
Assassinating Captain Jack
1
MISSION 7
KILLING CAPTAIN JACK
A beautiful blue sky,
a beautiful beach,
and all these beautiful bikini babes
FRESH COCONUTS 5 RMB EACH
BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE
but all we can do is sit here
and sell coconuts like idiots!
It's all your fault
for failing all your missions!
We haven't even finished one mission!
By this point, I should have been
It's all because you can't
Where'd he go?
Hey, there.
Need some help with your suntan oil?
Exploding groin egg!
Yes? Hello?
Do you need assassination services?
Don't worry, we're very professional.
Full refund if the mission fails.
New customers get ¥50 off!
We'll be right there!
Want me to spread it more evenly?
Who is attacking me?
You have a mission. Go forth, Seven!
Let me finish with this suntan oil first.
I'm trying to apply suntan oil!
My pants will come off!
Do you need it applied to the front?
COAST GUARD
Could you knock before you come in?
Three submarines are approaching.
UNCLE CHEN - CHICKEN ISLAND COAST GUARD
BATTLE POWER: 45
I need you to enter the biggest submarine
and kill the captain.
It froze!
Let me restart it.
The equipment at the Coast Guard
seems a little outdated, don't you think?
They haven't paid my salary in ten years.
I'm the only one left.
That sounds terrible.
He's trying to get out of paying me.
FIVE-NUT MOONCAKES
Take this.
Why? I don't like five-nut mooncakes.
This is your assassination fee, ¥88.
Your small change sure is small.
All right! Consider the mission handled.
-Give me my diving suit.
-There's none.
-Diving goggles?
-Nope.
You at least have a swimsuit, right?
I've been wearing
these trunks for decades.
I'll let you use them this one time.
No, I think you can keep them.
Guess I'll be on my way.
-Hey! Don't forget your trunks!
-I don't need them anymore,
because I just thought of a better plan!
I'll disguise myself as a drowning fish,
and infiltrate into the enemy's ranks!
There are no flaws in that plan at all!
I know you can do it.
The island's fate is in your hands now.
You're in luck, because you just hired
the best assassin in the universe!
Awesome!
Can you maybe
do me a favor and throw me in?
You should have transformed
after you jumped in.
He sees me. Time to use my acting prowess.
I can't swim! Help! Save me!
Wow! A drowning fish!
Let me just catch it.
AH JUN - PIRATE MINION
Hey, Chief, I just caught a drowning fish!
Let's eat some steamed fish tonight!
AH JIE - PIRATE MINION
Not tonight!
Because grilled fish is the best fish!
Steaming is obviously the best way to
bring out the fresh flavor of live fish.
Well, now it's not live anymore!
It's best if I just play dead
You You savage!
Then we
Then nobody's eating any fish tonight!
This fish is still alive?
Then we should steam it!
-Die! We braise it!
-Then nobody's eating any fish tonight!
-Die! We braise it!
-Then nobody's eating any fish tonight!
-Die! We braise it! Braise!
-Never!
Enough racket.
SEXY PIRATE LEADER
CAPTAIN JACK
You don't need to fight anymore
Finally, the captain.
because we're making sashimi.
-Captain, should I hold it for you?
-Shut up!
I had such a smooth entrance,
and you completely ruined it!
-You salty little sardine.
-Here's my chance!
-Captain!
-Captain!
Mission accomplished. Piece of cake!
The longer I look at you,
the tastier you seem, you little sardine!
Look, an amateur assassin has come to die.
I'm a professional assassin.
You won't see the sun rise tomorrow.
I've heard that enough times.
This is the last time you'll ever hear it.
Can youget down from there?
-My arm is tired!
-Oh, sorry.
If that kid can't handle this,
I'll have to do it myself.
Come on, assassin.
Seven 42-Form Blade Style!
What? He stole my sword?
Now die!
Don't let my stunning looks
make you underestimate me.
Incredible.
How can a pirate be so powerful?
This time, I really
should have charged more!
Such puny skills to assassinate me?
It seems you don't realize that I'm
Don't interrupt my sexy self-introduction.
I am the incomparable, infamous,
aristocrat of the seas, Captain Jack!
Come in. Come in. Dai Bo. Dai Bo.
My opponent is too strong.
Seven requesting support.
I'm a chicken. I can't swim.
Figure it out yourself.
Why does this idiot look so familiar?
-Don't paw me there!
-I'm not pawing, I'm rubbing.
I have to rub you to spread it evenly.
It's him?
This is what you asked for.
-Fifty million.
-Deal!
I'll transfer the money
to your account now.
I was just about to get my money,
but you ruined everything!
I was just ignored?
That's very injurious to my self-respect!
I obviously hit him! How?
But this guy is so much weaker than him.
I should test him!
It can't be him. They look alike,
but the difference in strength is too big.
Why do you want to invade my island?
The old man from the Coast Guard
cares about his image,
but he still met me
wearing his underpants.
He pawned the pants from his uniform
for money to hire me, an assassin.
He loves this island so much
that he's willing to sacrifice anything
including his pants.
The island's fate is in your hands now.
And
there are all those beautiful bikini babes
I haven't even rubbed suntan oil on yet!
You bastards!
He wants to break the window and kill us!
Ouch! It hurts!
How very interesting!
Perhaps we should play a little game.
If you can move my foot,
I'll spare your little island.
Deal.
Exploding groin egg!
It's just a normal chicken egg.
You lose!
A deal is a deal. We're leaving.
I wasn't planning to invade
your stupid little island anyway.
We were just passing this way.
How am I supposed to get out of here?
Let me out!
-He really did it!
-Delivery!
So, where's the money from the job?
MISSION 7
KILLING CAPTAIN JACK
A beautiful blue sky,
a beautiful beach,
and all these beautiful bikini babes
FRESH COCONUTS 5 RMB EACH
BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE
but all we can do is sit here
and sell coconuts like idiots!
It's all your fault
for failing all your missions!
We haven't even finished one mission!
By this point, I should have been
It's all because you can't
Where'd he go?
Hey, there.
Need some help with your suntan oil?
Exploding groin egg!
Yes? Hello?
Do you need assassination services?
Don't worry, we're very professional.
Full refund if the mission fails.
New customers get ¥50 off!
We'll be right there!
Want me to spread it more evenly?
Who is attacking me?
You have a mission. Go forth, Seven!
Let me finish with this suntan oil first.
I'm trying to apply suntan oil!
My pants will come off!
Do you need it applied to the front?
COAST GUARD
Could you knock before you come in?
Three submarines are approaching.
UNCLE CHEN - CHICKEN ISLAND COAST GUARD
BATTLE POWER: 45
I need you to enter the biggest submarine
and kill the captain.
It froze!
Let me restart it.
The equipment at the Coast Guard
seems a little outdated, don't you think?
They haven't paid my salary in ten years.
I'm the only one left.
That sounds terrible.
He's trying to get out of paying me.
FIVE-NUT MOONCAKES
Take this.
Why? I don't like five-nut mooncakes.
This is your assassination fee, ¥88.
Your small change sure is small.
All right! Consider the mission handled.
-Give me my diving suit.
-There's none.
-Diving goggles?
-Nope.
You at least have a swimsuit, right?
I've been wearing
these trunks for decades.
I'll let you use them this one time.
No, I think you can keep them.
Guess I'll be on my way.
-Hey! Don't forget your trunks!
-I don't need them anymore,
because I just thought of a better plan!
I'll disguise myself as a drowning fish,
and infiltrate into the enemy's ranks!
There are no flaws in that plan at all!
I know you can do it.
The island's fate is in your hands now.
You're in luck, because you just hired
the best assassin in the universe!
Awesome!
Can you maybe
do me a favor and throw me in?
You should have transformed
after you jumped in.
He sees me. Time to use my acting prowess.
I can't swim! Help! Save me!
Wow! A drowning fish!
Let me just catch it.
AH JUN - PIRATE MINION
Hey, Chief, I just caught a drowning fish!
Let's eat some steamed fish tonight!
AH JIE - PIRATE MINION
Not tonight!
Because grilled fish is the best fish!
Steaming is obviously the best way to
bring out the fresh flavor of live fish.
Well, now it's not live anymore!
It's best if I just play dead
You You savage!
Then we
Then nobody's eating any fish tonight!
This fish is still alive?
Then we should steam it!
-Die! We braise it!
-Then nobody's eating any fish tonight!
-Die! We braise it!
-Then nobody's eating any fish tonight!
-Die! We braise it! Braise!
-Never!
Enough racket.
SEXY PIRATE LEADER
CAPTAIN JACK
You don't need to fight anymore
Finally, the captain.
because we're making sashimi.
-Captain, should I hold it for you?
-Shut up!
I had such a smooth entrance,
and you completely ruined it!
-You salty little sardine.
-Here's my chance!
-Captain!
-Captain!
Mission accomplished. Piece of cake!
The longer I look at you,
the tastier you seem, you little sardine!
Look, an amateur assassin has come to die.
I'm a professional assassin.
You won't see the sun rise tomorrow.
I've heard that enough times.
This is the last time you'll ever hear it.
Can youget down from there?
-My arm is tired!
-Oh, sorry.
If that kid can't handle this,
I'll have to do it myself.
Come on, assassin.
Seven 42-Form Blade Style!
What? He stole my sword?
Now die!
Don't let my stunning looks
make you underestimate me.
Incredible.
How can a pirate be so powerful?
This time, I really
should have charged more!
Such puny skills to assassinate me?
It seems you don't realize that I'm
Don't interrupt my sexy self-introduction.
I am the incomparable, infamous,
aristocrat of the seas, Captain Jack!
Come in. Come in. Dai Bo. Dai Bo.
My opponent is too strong.
Seven requesting support.
I'm a chicken. I can't swim.
Figure it out yourself.
Why does this idiot look so familiar?
-Don't paw me there!
-I'm not pawing, I'm rubbing.
I have to rub you to spread it evenly.
It's him?
This is what you asked for.
-Fifty million.
-Deal!
I'll transfer the money
to your account now.
I was just about to get my money,
but you ruined everything!
I was just ignored?
That's very injurious to my self-respect!
I obviously hit him! How?
But this guy is so much weaker than him.
I should test him!
It can't be him. They look alike,
but the difference in strength is too big.
Why do you want to invade my island?
The old man from the Coast Guard
cares about his image,
but he still met me
wearing his underpants.
He pawned the pants from his uniform
for money to hire me, an assassin.
He loves this island so much
that he's willing to sacrifice anything
including his pants.
The island's fate is in your hands now.
And
there are all those beautiful bikini babes
I haven't even rubbed suntan oil on yet!
You bastards!
He wants to break the window and kill us!
Ouch! It hurts!
How very interesting!
Perhaps we should play a little game.
If you can move my foot,
I'll spare your little island.
Deal.
Exploding groin egg!
It's just a normal chicken egg.
You lose!
A deal is a deal. We're leaving.
I wasn't planning to invade
your stupid little island anyway.
We were just passing this way.
How am I supposed to get out of here?
Let me out!
-He really did it!
-Delivery!
So, where's the money from the job?