Smoke (2025) s01e07 Episode Script
Whitewashed Tombs
1
["Dialing In" playing]
Telephone ♪
Calling me ♪
Who put all that shit in your head? ♪
Saying things ♪
Telling things ♪
Till you break ♪
Filthy water ♪
Bubbles up ♪
Who put all that shit in your head? ♪
[Calderone] It's not that my mother
[sighs] My mother
It's not that she did what she did to me.
It's that, somehow,
in the eyes of my family,
in the eyes of a lot of the neighborhood,
I'm somehow the bad guy.
And what's your crime?
I don't know. I was twelve.
Well, you embarrass them.
You know, bad people create stories
to deny that they are,
in fact, bad people.
But then something, or someone
becomes irrefutable proof that they are,
in fact, pieces of fucking shit.
And it holds up a mirror
that they can't look into.
And so they take the mirror off the wall
and they cover it with a sheet
because it embarrasses them.
That's me, huh?
I'm afraid so.
[sniffles, sighs]
- [sighs] I swear
- [disembodied voice] It's not working
It's not working It's not me
What she did to me
[disembodied voice]
It's not me It's not me
it told me that I had no value.
[disembodied voice]
It's not working It's not me
My skin, my lungs
[breathes shakily]
my face. None of it.
Any of it. [sobs, sniffles]
Yeah?
And she's making you feel like that
all over again.
God, do I hate
your fucking family, Michelle.
[breathes deeply] I don't.
How about How
about I, uh I drop by?
That won't help.
Well, it won't hurt.
[breathes deeply] Yeah, it will.
Hey, Michelle, you may have some
some trouble grasping this
but I'm your best friend.
[laughs] Shit, Steve.
I-I don't have any trouble
grasping that. Trust me.
Well, then let me be that to you now.
You are.
You're being perfect.
Right where you are.
[mouthing word] Fuck.
Okay.
Okay.
You're not better than me.
Did I say I was?
Ms. Egg-White Omelet,
wheat toast, black coffee.
There she goes.
I happen to like black coffee.
Put this shit in
and tell me it doesn't taste better.
Do it. Taste it.
[sighs]
[chuckles]
- This shit's pretty good.
- [chuckles]
Mm-hmm.
You would make a good police officer.
You got that solid command presence.
"Do it."
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
You could stop this.
What? You-You're gonna live with her?
Eat with her? Watch TV with her?
It's your house too.
She's old. She needs a place to stay.
She's his mom.
She's a fucking monster.
Okay, so she's both.
A lot of people got
a lotta things in 'em.
Yeah, Sophie's got a lot in her too.
You put her in a house with that woman,
she will wring it all out.
One day you'll come home,
you'll find a kid who isn't a kid,
just some tiny adult
waiting to be old enough
- for a fucking antidepressant.
- Okay, don't talk about my kid.
- You don't know her.
- I was her.
I'm her mother.
You wanna rewind a 20-year-old drama?
Go ahead.
But you're not 12 anymore.
And Sophie's not you.
Step into my business again,
I'ma call you "Karen."
You and your fucking egg whites.
Want a bite of my bacon?
- [chuckling] You know I do.
- [chuckles]
[TV host] Were you scared?
My heart was racing, but, uh, years
of running into dangerous situations,
it teaches you
to harness your fear into focus.
Hmm.
You know,
the thought of leaving my wife alone
I mean, that trumps any fear.
- Oh, well, you're a hero to all of us.
- [chuckles]
I hope you can take some time
to be with your family.
Oh, yeah. I hope so too. [chuckles]
And I hear you're writing a book?
Uh, I am. That's right, Jan.
It's about an arson investigator.
- How exciting. I can't wait to read it.
- Yeah. Yeah.
When does it come out?
We're still working on that,
but, um, I think I got a good idea
for the ending now.
[both chuckle]
- [TV mutes]
- [object thuds]
[viewer] Jason, a word.
Yes, Ms. Boswell?
Deal with that, please.
[Jason sighs]
I understand David Gudsen
queried us a few months back
and we passed on his book.
Is that correct?
Yes.
You're an intelligent young man.
Thank you, Ms. Boswell.
So I'm just trying to understand
how this could've happened.
I I felt that his sample
wasn't up to our standards.
Hmm.
Get Gudsen on the phone. Now.
When life give you lemons,
you got to make lemonade.
[both laugh]
[Ezra] You had to let him become a hero.
You let him become a fucking hero.
We had DNA on a cancer stick.
And we got stipachio
fucking ice cream, whatever.
Meanwhile he closes
the Milk Jug Arsonist,
- and what do we have on our resumes, huh?
- [phone buzzing]
I'll tell you what. Nada. Culo. Dick.
- Are you done?
- Oh, yeah, I'm done, princess.
Hello?
This whole fucking thing is done,
all right?
Why hasn't he gone back home
since the car wreck?
The ATF detail says that, uh,
he's at the Cascade Motel on Route 6.
And the morning I met him,
he'd, uh, slept in his office overnight.
Yeah, well,
he never could hold on to his women.
The Old Sully's lawsuit files.
Anything useful?
[Dawn] Mostly transcripts
of hearings and expert reports.
Gudsen's report
that the cause was an electrical fire.
Post-fire photos
of the pallet of molten barbecue grills
blocking the emergency exit.
[Calderone] And the other ones.
There's the photo of the emergency exit
right before the grills blocked it
and the other ones prior to the fire.
No record.
[Calderone] No, that's impossible.
Let me see. It's in there.
It's gotta be in here.
Gudsen uses it all the time
in his, uh, lectures.
None of it matters, okay?
It was ruled an accident.
It's done and dusted.
So what we have here,
just-just-just so that I'm clear,
is one vagina hair less than nothing.
I understand that. Uh, Ms. Boswell,
could you please, uh, repeat that?
[Boswell] My agency's interested
in Investigator Gudsen's book.
Can you put him on?
What kind of agency is that?
I'm a literary agent.
Ma'am, this is Police Captain
Steven Burke.
Uh, we will have a unit to you in the next
half hour to discuss this matter with you.
Is this some kind of joke?
No, it is no joke.
So please do not make any effort
to contact Investigator Gudsen
until our team arrives. Okay?
Uh, okay.
English Major,
tell me about the literary world.
- [pan sizzling]
- [Gudsen whistling]
[breathes heavily]
What are you doing?
Hey. Making you a frittata.
Did you see the news?
You know, I heard from an agent
who wants to talk to me about my book.
[chuckles]
Clean up and get out.
Ash, couples argue.
We both did shit,
said shit we didn't mean.
- We meant it.
- [grunts]
Hey. Hey!
- [gasps]
- [chuckling]
I love you.
- What about that?
- [inhales sharply]
Your stuff's in the garage.
[detective 1 sighs]
How long we been in here?
Approaching four hours now. Day two.
Four hours, plus a whole day, Mr. Fasano.
And you can't say one word?
You are aware
that the death penalty exists here, Fred?
[clears throat] Why don't you tell us
about some of the other fires?
We could put in a good word.
You're gonna do life, sure, but
three squares a day
and your family could visit.
[detective 2] Of course,
he'd have to tell us about all the fires.
[detective 1] Well, yeah.
The guy who caught you, Fred,
he's been chasing you a long time.
He likes you for
- what'd he say, twenty?
- Mm-mmm.
- Twenty-two.
- [whistles]
Twenty-two fires in Trolley Town. Damn.
That's a career.
Yeah. Kind of impressive.
[detective 1]
You know what he gave us, Fred?
He gave us the glove that you left at
a torch job on 77th Street last January.
I can't wait
to get the DNA results back on that.
What my partner's saying, Fred,
is we own your ass.
We got you.
What's his name?
The guy who caught you?
His name is David Gudsen.
I'll talk to him.
[coworker] Dude!
- [applause]
- [Gudsen laughing] Hey.
You beautiful motherfuckers. Thank you.
- Finally, huh?
- Oh, shit.
- There he is. Mr. MVP.
- [laughing]
Oh, shit. [laughs]
- You spectacular motherfucker, you.
- Stop.
- Nah, man. Come on.
- Please, stop.
Oh, wait. What-what-what we got going
- Oh, you know.
- What's happening?
- Makeup for TV. I was on TV.
- A little makeup?
- I don't know if you heard?
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, no, I saw you.
- Yeah.
- You looked real good. You looked good.
- Mmm.
Ashley must be loving this, huh?
[groans]
She is. Mmm.
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure she is.
- Yeah.
All right, come on.
Give me the details. Shit.
How'd you do it?
Solid police work.
Fuck you. [laughs]
All right. Come on, man. Seriously.
I You know,
I had a hunch, and I followed it.
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
You didn't tell me about your hunch.
[smacks lips] A lot of hunches suck.
- [phone buzzing]
- [sucks teeth]
You're not wrong about that.
Hey, Investigator Gudsen.
Uh-huh.
[stammers] Of course.
I-I'm happy to help.
Yeah. On my way.
- Shoot. Gotta run.
- Yeah?
Yeah, Milk Jug wants
to speak with me, so
Oh, nice. Can I come?
Why?
I don't know. Maybe I could learn
a little bit from the master.
- Yeah?
- All right.
- [chuckles]
- Yeah, man.
- Bravo, bravo. Give him his flowers.
- Hey. I could get used to this.
So, what you're asking of me,
a private citizen,
is to sit across from a man you believe
is a psychopath and lie to him?
And if you catch him
because of your little ruse,
then I'm to trust he has no partners
and will never make bail.
And if you don't catch him,
then I've just become known
to a serial arsonist
as the woman who lied to him
about his book and crushed his dreams?
Yeah, well, sure. I-I mean,
when you put it like that it-it, um
Mm-hmm. Jason will see you out.
What would you have paid him,
uh, for the book?
We don't pay. A publisher does.
And what would a
publisher have paid, say?
Flavor-of-the-month prices.
Six figures. Low six figures, but six.
So, what would they pay
for the real story?
So, an arson investigator
who turns out to be an arsonist,
who then becomes a hero by catching,
uh, another arsonist in the act,
who also happens to be writing a book
about an arsonist being targeted
by an arson investigator,
both of whom
[chuckles] he based on himself.
Oh.
I mean [chuckles]
Jason, honey, get Damien Castlebach
on the phone. Tell him it's urgent.
Damien Castlebach, the attorney?
[sighs] No, Damien Castlebach,
the veterinary podiatrist.
How many fucking Damien Castlebachs
do you know?
Yes, Ms. Boswell.
[sighs]
Exclusive rights to not only the story,
but the life rights for all of you.
And the journalist
I choose to tell the tale
will have full access to your case files.
[inhales sharply, stammering]
The last one I can't guarantee, no.
Oh. Then find another agent.
[inhales deeply]
Okay.
Well, thank you so much.
Access to all files not subject
to ongoing litigation.
How's that?
Yeah. I can work with that.
Mm-hmm.
[ATF agent, on comms]
Gudsen's entering Crawford precinct.
[door opens]
[Gudsen chuckles]
How you doing, Fred?
Heard you wanted to talk to me.
Hmm?
[chuckles]
[sucks teeth, clears throat]
[sighs]
I created a profile on you.
Heard it's gonna be used
in criminology courses
in three colleges.
One of them being an Ivy.
[chuckles]
Yeah. [sighs]
I nailed you, man.
Poverty
the youth homes
The only thing I got wrong
I thought you had a 'fro.
One of them Black Panther 'fros.
Size of a fucking
traffic cone. [chuckles]
But otherwise, spot on.
[sighs]
Who was she?
Who? [scoffs]
The one that gave you the hole.
What fucking hole are you talking about?
[clicks tongue] I, uh
I got some questions for you, Fred.
It's a big hole.
When did you start doing fires, hmm?
I saw these maggots
eating a dead bird once.
[scoffs]
Like its insides had spilled
and became this soup.
Squirmy.
Leaky.
Were you a juvenile?
And that's your soul.
Maggots in a dead bird.
[scoffs, chuckles]
[whispering] Who was she?
[scoffs]
[chuckles] Look, Fred,
I don't think you're in any position
- to be talking about anybody else's soul.
- Your mother?
Your mother.
Why didn't she love you?
[stammers]
You
You used a single gallon
[gulps] jug for m
mo most of your fires.
Why, um
Why did you use six jugs
for the, uh [gulps] Tillman house?
Did she catch you doing something?
Or w-were you not what she wanted or
Shut the fuck up, dude.
[chuckles] I mean
[whispering] Or was it something like
you and me have right now?
She recognized shit
when she smelled it.
[stammering]
- Let's get back to
- I knew you
500 years ago.
And I'll know you 500 years from now.
Your hate is your food.
You got a lot of hate, Fred.
Freddy.
[chuckles]
B-But then you've got a lot to hate, hmm?
[whispering] Two dozen foster homes?
[gasps]
It's heartbreaking.
But why did you have to burn all
those people? Burn them alive over it?
I don't know.
Mmm.
Sad.
[sighs]
It's so sad.
And what's your excuse?
Well, I don't commit arson.
I don't kill people.
[chuckling]
Oh. "You are like whitewashed tombs.
Beautiful on the outside
but on the inside
full of the bones of the dead."
[laughing]
I think
[Freddy laughing in distance]
Well [sighs] that was interesting.
[Calderone] Shit.
Thai food.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna take the rest of the
Take it off, man.
Good Good idea.
Can you come out a sec?
[Benji] Kinda busy, babe.
Oh, now that shit's just frigid.
[sighs]
That's just my sister in your head.
Would you leave our daughter alone
with your mother?
Then why let her live with us?
Hey, uh, Dawn?
Yeah, how's she holding up, huh?
- Solid as a rock.
- [Boswell] What's that?
- I'm just throwing you a compliment.
- [chuckles]
[muffled speech]
Hey. Hey, you got any salt?
- Hey. Hey, hey, he-heads up.
- [fingers snap]
He's coming in from the north.
- On his way. What's my name?
- Uh, Hillary.
Hillary Milton.
- Good. You ready?
- Mm-hmm.
- Ugh.
- Ah!
I recognize that hero from television.
Come, come. [chuckles]
You're more handsome in person.
Erica Boswell.
- David?
- Dave.
Ah, such an honor.
My colleague, Hillary Milton.
Huge fan.
- Uh, well, thank you for inviting me.
- [Boswell] Mm-hmm.
- Oh, but sit. Sit. [chuckles]
- Please. Yeah.
[Boswell] Ah. Oh.
Uh, oopsie. Shouldn't have had
that double macchiato.
- [chuckles]
- [Dawn] Oh. Yeah.
[Dawn clears throat]
First, let us apologize
for the letter you received.
Mm-hmm. The employee who sent it
has been demoted.
Um, Hillary replaced him.
And I firmly believe,
if we were to represent your book,
- we could land you a significant advance.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, well, uh that sounds lovely.
- [Boswell chuckles]
- [Dawn] Mmm.
Uh, in your query, you said everything
was inspired by fact.
For legal reasons, we need to clarify
what's true and what's fiction.
[Ezra] Hey, waiter's coming in.
Can you try to booze him up a little bit?
[waiter] Can I get you folks
started with some drinks?
- [Boswell] Mm-hmm.
- [Dawn] Well, uh, champagne?
- Our treat.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm not going back
into the office. [chuckles]
[Boswell laughs]
- [Calderone panting]
- [chattering]
[Ashley sighs]
[Calderone panting]
Is someone using this one?
- Huh?
- Is someone using this one?
Oh, shit. Sorry, that's mine.
[treadmill beeping]
Ashley? David Gudsen's wife, right?
- Yeah.
- [pants] Yeah.
I'm Michelle, his partner.
He's got a picture of you on his desk.
I haven't seen you around here.
Yeah, I just joined.
It's nice.
How's it feel being married to a hero?
[Ashley chuckles]
Christ, you're pretty.
Thanks, you too.
I'd cheat on me with you.
Okay.
- No, I did not
- [treadmill beeping]
I did not ever
I read his book.
It's okay. We're done.
You wanna screw him, screw him.
[sighs] No.
What Dave wrote about us
was complete fiction.
[sighs]
No, this is fiction.
You didn't leave
in the middle of a workday,
drive 40 minutes to a gym
you don't belong to
and just happen to bump into me
by coincidence.
What do you want?
[sighs]
If I suspected your husband of a crime,
would that shock you?
What crime would that be?
Well, what crime you think
he'd be capable of?
Anything.
["The Seventh Son" playing]
[no audible dialogue]
[distorted] What?
[laughs]
[music continues]
[laughing]
- [Dawn] A monk arsonist? [chuckles]
- [Gudsen] Right?
But then the devices we found at the site
pointed at this other guy
we've been tracking for a bit.
[Boswell] The Divide & Conquer arsonist.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
[Dawn] So is that Donald in the book?
Mostly.
Yeah.
What's Donald's motivation?
Yeah, why does he do it?
'Cause he's smarter than everyone.
[Dawn] Aren't there easier ways
to show that?
Less violent ones?
[Gudsen]
Uh, Donald feels like a lot of guys.
Certain people get
special treatment and advantages,
and Donald is just left
to play a rigged game.
He knows he's smarter,
he knows he's capable of doing
any job you put in front of him. He's
superior.
Why's he light the fires then?
[chuckles]
To punish them.
Okay, that's great. That's great.
Just reel him in.
Just reel him in nice and easy, okay?
Nice and easy.
For what?
F-For rejecting him.
How? He's a white man in America.
Every door is open to him.
Yeah, except the ones
held for people who didn't earn it.
And he could walk through those too.
Let's get back to the book.
There used to be men in this country.
Now there's just dickless coolies
with messenger bags and therapists who
tell them it's acceptable to be dickless.
And those men have ample opportunity.
- No! [chuckles]
- [cutlery clatters]
No, they do not.
Fucking snapped the line.
She fucking snapped the line, man.
Fuck!
So, Donald is
He's just a sick bastard, you know?
Here it is, here it is. Can you
get him to talk about Old Sully's?
Can you tell us about
that fire in the hardware store?
Yes, that was so vivid.
I-I felt like
I was right there. [chuckles]
[Dawn] How much of it was based on fact?
Some of it.
Most of it was just imagination.
No. He's not stupid.
[clattering]
[Calderone] Okay, but now
why'd you think he was cheating?
- [Ashley] Other than the book?
- Yeah.
He was gone most nights.
Said he was needed at a fire,
but no call came in over his radio.
Oh.
You think he was burning stuff
that whole time?
Maybe.
You ever see him set a fire?
- Only at a campsite.
- Hmm.
Have you ever talked
to his ex-wives at all or
I I only know about one.
Oh. Well, um
there are two.
Fucker never told you?
Fucker did not.
[sighs] I'm I'm sorry.
I I didn't know.
You're thinking why'd she marry him?
Why'd she take so long to leave?
No. I [sighs]
I think leaving at all is fucking brave.
Women don't get to be brave.
When we're single,
we're scared of commitment.
When we settle down, we're cowards.
When we divorce, we're giving up.
So what are you?
[chuckles] I'm very single.
[both chuckling]
No one can hurt you
and all it costs is loneliness.
Good deal.
Dave ever hurt you?
There were times when
we'd have the most boring conversation.
"What's for dinner?"
"Turn the TV off." You know?
And Dave would smile in my face
but when he turned around,
I'd catch him in a reflection.
Not Dave, but this
thing
living inside of Dave.
It wanted to take a hammer to my skull.
But he never actually hurt you?
He just had fantasies.
Like what?
We had rough sex.
Consensual, but Dave pushed the limits.
[breathes shakily]
He said he wanted to rape me
in a burning building.
And he wanted to film it.
[sighs]
That never happened, right?
[sighs]
No.
It was just a fantasy.
[sighs]
Look, the guy the guy
the guy had a fantasy, okay?
I-I shouldn't be blamed
for the sludge that's in his head.
Yeah, but he fantasized
about filming it, Ezra.
Yeah, yeah, but we
we didn't do anything like that.
"Like that."
Okay, so you obviously did something.
Oh, come on. Come on.
Give me a fucking break, will you?
All right.
So if I go right now, and I-I get
a warrant for all of your DVDs
of your artfully crafted sexual cinema,
I'm not gonna find a single one
featuring Dave Gudsen, right?
All right, all right.
You're gonna find two.
- Two, okay?
- Stop bullshitting me then.
My early work.
I don't do that shit no more.
You couldn't have told me this
from the beginning?
[groans] Oh, you don't
you don't do your rape fantasies anymore?
- That's what you're saying you don't do.
- Not in a burning building like that.
And-And let me tell you something,
she was into it.
- Oh, yeah.
- Ain't no way.
- I don't buy that. Ashley's not the type.
- I'm not talking about her.
Well, who the fuck you talking about?
Oh, fuck!
- God Fucking
- Who are you talking about, Ezra?
Reba, okay? Reba. His second wife.
Oh.
So then Reba knows the real Dave?
Oh, yeah.
More than anybody on Earth.
[bottles clink]
So, Dave's getting an award?
Yeah, yeah. A commendation
for saving that woman's life.
- Ah.
- Might get the keys to the city
if his background checks out.
[chuckles]
Wanna know the truth about Dave?
Yeah, I do.
He's a good guy.
- Huh.
- Great at his job.
So he's a saint?
Oh, he can be a dick.
Sometimes he's an entitled asshole
who's incapable of self-reflection.
You call that a good guy?
What's a good guy?
A choir boy who loves his mom,
flosses his teeth every night?
That your kinda guy?
[chuckles] No, no, no. No.
So, Dave was exciting?
Yeah?
Why'd you divorce him?
I wanted a partner.
He wanted a wife.
[Calderone] Mmm.
I'm not the domestic type.
And I cheated on him. [sighs]
That offend your moral sensibilities?
[sighs] Honestly, no.
Certainly not in a place to judge.
You been there.
Uh Had an affair a while back
with my boss.
Hmm.
Called it off. I got scared.
He hurt you?
[clicks tongue]
You know, he would smile to my face,
but he had this thing living inside of
him that just wanted to see me suffer.
I know that road.
Was that Dave's road?
- [exhales sharply] No.
- [door opens]
Another guy.
- [door closes]
- A while back.
[spouse] Come on, honey.
[Reba] How was dance?
[spouse] Oh, it was good.
Go on. Go play.
I'll call you when dinner's ready.
Thought you were going to a party.
I was.
Mmm. Hi.
Hi, I'm, uh, Todd.
Michelle.
I'm heading out. Um
Thanks for your time.
If I have any other questions,
I'll call you.
Sounds good.
[Dawn] Did we blow it?
[Ezra] No, no, no, no.
But she definitely
triggered his spidey sense.
Let's just Let's just give
it a couple days and then,
uh, tell him you found a publisher.
Where's he now?
[scoffs] Some party
they're throwing for him.
[groans]
[muffled cheering]
[no audible dialogue]
["Holding Out for a Hero" playing]
John, same again.
You play this? Huh?
I need a hero ♪
I'm holding out for a hero
Till the end of the night ♪
[both] And he's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast ♪
And he's gotta be
fresh from the fight ♪
- [chuckles] Here he is. There's my guy.
- Yeah. Yeah.
All right, get a room,
you handsome pansexuals.
Can I have a Maker's
for my friend, please?
- I got a fucking beer.
- It's a party, for God's sake.
- It's a party. Come on, enjoy.
- [Calderone chuckles]
Here is to the fucking hero!
- Hell yeah!
- Okay!
You two have known
each other for a while, huh?
Mmm? What's that?
I said you've known each other
for a while then, huh?
This guy here
was my first training officer.
[gasps] Oh, I see.
So it's like a father-daughter thing?
Why do you like fire?
What's that?
[Steven] You heard me.
[Gudsen] No, I don't like fire.
I fight fire.
Oh, he fights fire?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Okay. Cool.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Sorry, I meant It was my mistake.
- No.
- We're gonna let the hero have his drink.
- That's funny. That's good.
- Come on, Captain.
- I see.
- [Calderone] I'm gonna be here, okay?
- [Steven] Enjoy, hero.
[Calderone] I'm gonna play some pool.
You roll over if she tells you to?
"Fetch. Lie down.
Lick your own balls." [chuckles]
"Oh, good boy.
There's a good boy."
- You know what you are?
- Uh
I'm pretty sure I'm the guy
who just caught the Milk Jug Arsonist.
You're not me.
You know who I am?
Educate me.
Everything you wish you were.
[chuckles] Oh.
Everything you wish you had,
and never will.
Because you are a fucking loser.
[Gudsen grunts]
[coughing]
[Steven]
Could I pay for the, uh, hero's drinks?
Thank you so much.
- [coughing]
- Okay.
Get the fuck off me! [coughs]
[rap music playing]
[Harvey] Hey.
You okay, bud?
[Gudsen breathes heavily]
Yeah.
That motherfucker
just fucking sucker punched me,
and you just stood there!
Just left me standing
at the bar like a f
Like a bitch.
You know, my head's been a little
With Lauren's wedding and
I thought we were pals.
[sniffs]
He knows.
["March of the Pigs" playing]
[no audible dialogue]
Don't you understand, you tiny
[shouts indistinctly]
[Dawn] He shook the tail
and lost the tracker.
Oh, shit. How?
Driving like a fucking maniac.
All right, all right.
Put a car on his motel right fucking now.
[music continues]
[Dawn] Hey, Espo.
[Dawn speaks indistinctly]
[both speaking indistinctly]
[Dawn] Sure. Yeah.
- [Ezra] Drive safe. Peace.
- Okay.
[music continues]
[engine starts]
[music fades, ends]
["The Parting Glass" playing]
[gasping, choking]
[music ends]
["Dialing In" playing]
Telephone ♪
Calling me ♪
Who put all that shit in your head? ♪
Saying things ♪
Telling things ♪
Till you break ♪
Filthy water ♪
Bubbles up ♪
Who put all that shit in your head? ♪
[Calderone] It's not that my mother
[sighs] My mother
It's not that she did what she did to me.
It's that, somehow,
in the eyes of my family,
in the eyes of a lot of the neighborhood,
I'm somehow the bad guy.
And what's your crime?
I don't know. I was twelve.
Well, you embarrass them.
You know, bad people create stories
to deny that they are,
in fact, bad people.
But then something, or someone
becomes irrefutable proof that they are,
in fact, pieces of fucking shit.
And it holds up a mirror
that they can't look into.
And so they take the mirror off the wall
and they cover it with a sheet
because it embarrasses them.
That's me, huh?
I'm afraid so.
[sniffles, sighs]
- [sighs] I swear
- [disembodied voice] It's not working
It's not working It's not me
What she did to me
[disembodied voice]
It's not me It's not me
it told me that I had no value.
[disembodied voice]
It's not working It's not me
My skin, my lungs
[breathes shakily]
my face. None of it.
Any of it. [sobs, sniffles]
Yeah?
And she's making you feel like that
all over again.
God, do I hate
your fucking family, Michelle.
[breathes deeply] I don't.
How about How
about I, uh I drop by?
That won't help.
Well, it won't hurt.
[breathes deeply] Yeah, it will.
Hey, Michelle, you may have some
some trouble grasping this
but I'm your best friend.
[laughs] Shit, Steve.
I-I don't have any trouble
grasping that. Trust me.
Well, then let me be that to you now.
You are.
You're being perfect.
Right where you are.
[mouthing word] Fuck.
Okay.
Okay.
You're not better than me.
Did I say I was?
Ms. Egg-White Omelet,
wheat toast, black coffee.
There she goes.
I happen to like black coffee.
Put this shit in
and tell me it doesn't taste better.
Do it. Taste it.
[sighs]
[chuckles]
- This shit's pretty good.
- [chuckles]
Mm-hmm.
You would make a good police officer.
You got that solid command presence.
"Do it."
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
You could stop this.
What? You-You're gonna live with her?
Eat with her? Watch TV with her?
It's your house too.
She's old. She needs a place to stay.
She's his mom.
She's a fucking monster.
Okay, so she's both.
A lot of people got
a lotta things in 'em.
Yeah, Sophie's got a lot in her too.
You put her in a house with that woman,
she will wring it all out.
One day you'll come home,
you'll find a kid who isn't a kid,
just some tiny adult
waiting to be old enough
- for a fucking antidepressant.
- Okay, don't talk about my kid.
- You don't know her.
- I was her.
I'm her mother.
You wanna rewind a 20-year-old drama?
Go ahead.
But you're not 12 anymore.
And Sophie's not you.
Step into my business again,
I'ma call you "Karen."
You and your fucking egg whites.
Want a bite of my bacon?
- [chuckling] You know I do.
- [chuckles]
[TV host] Were you scared?
My heart was racing, but, uh, years
of running into dangerous situations,
it teaches you
to harness your fear into focus.
Hmm.
You know,
the thought of leaving my wife alone
I mean, that trumps any fear.
- Oh, well, you're a hero to all of us.
- [chuckles]
I hope you can take some time
to be with your family.
Oh, yeah. I hope so too. [chuckles]
And I hear you're writing a book?
Uh, I am. That's right, Jan.
It's about an arson investigator.
- How exciting. I can't wait to read it.
- Yeah. Yeah.
When does it come out?
We're still working on that,
but, um, I think I got a good idea
for the ending now.
[both chuckle]
- [TV mutes]
- [object thuds]
[viewer] Jason, a word.
Yes, Ms. Boswell?
Deal with that, please.
[Jason sighs]
I understand David Gudsen
queried us a few months back
and we passed on his book.
Is that correct?
Yes.
You're an intelligent young man.
Thank you, Ms. Boswell.
So I'm just trying to understand
how this could've happened.
I I felt that his sample
wasn't up to our standards.
Hmm.
Get Gudsen on the phone. Now.
When life give you lemons,
you got to make lemonade.
[both laugh]
[Ezra] You had to let him become a hero.
You let him become a fucking hero.
We had DNA on a cancer stick.
And we got stipachio
fucking ice cream, whatever.
Meanwhile he closes
the Milk Jug Arsonist,
- and what do we have on our resumes, huh?
- [phone buzzing]
I'll tell you what. Nada. Culo. Dick.
- Are you done?
- Oh, yeah, I'm done, princess.
Hello?
This whole fucking thing is done,
all right?
Why hasn't he gone back home
since the car wreck?
The ATF detail says that, uh,
he's at the Cascade Motel on Route 6.
And the morning I met him,
he'd, uh, slept in his office overnight.
Yeah, well,
he never could hold on to his women.
The Old Sully's lawsuit files.
Anything useful?
[Dawn] Mostly transcripts
of hearings and expert reports.
Gudsen's report
that the cause was an electrical fire.
Post-fire photos
of the pallet of molten barbecue grills
blocking the emergency exit.
[Calderone] And the other ones.
There's the photo of the emergency exit
right before the grills blocked it
and the other ones prior to the fire.
No record.
[Calderone] No, that's impossible.
Let me see. It's in there.
It's gotta be in here.
Gudsen uses it all the time
in his, uh, lectures.
None of it matters, okay?
It was ruled an accident.
It's done and dusted.
So what we have here,
just-just-just so that I'm clear,
is one vagina hair less than nothing.
I understand that. Uh, Ms. Boswell,
could you please, uh, repeat that?
[Boswell] My agency's interested
in Investigator Gudsen's book.
Can you put him on?
What kind of agency is that?
I'm a literary agent.
Ma'am, this is Police Captain
Steven Burke.
Uh, we will have a unit to you in the next
half hour to discuss this matter with you.
Is this some kind of joke?
No, it is no joke.
So please do not make any effort
to contact Investigator Gudsen
until our team arrives. Okay?
Uh, okay.
English Major,
tell me about the literary world.
- [pan sizzling]
- [Gudsen whistling]
[breathes heavily]
What are you doing?
Hey. Making you a frittata.
Did you see the news?
You know, I heard from an agent
who wants to talk to me about my book.
[chuckles]
Clean up and get out.
Ash, couples argue.
We both did shit,
said shit we didn't mean.
- We meant it.
- [grunts]
Hey. Hey!
- [gasps]
- [chuckling]
I love you.
- What about that?
- [inhales sharply]
Your stuff's in the garage.
[detective 1 sighs]
How long we been in here?
Approaching four hours now. Day two.
Four hours, plus a whole day, Mr. Fasano.
And you can't say one word?
You are aware
that the death penalty exists here, Fred?
[clears throat] Why don't you tell us
about some of the other fires?
We could put in a good word.
You're gonna do life, sure, but
three squares a day
and your family could visit.
[detective 2] Of course,
he'd have to tell us about all the fires.
[detective 1] Well, yeah.
The guy who caught you, Fred,
he's been chasing you a long time.
He likes you for
- what'd he say, twenty?
- Mm-mmm.
- Twenty-two.
- [whistles]
Twenty-two fires in Trolley Town. Damn.
That's a career.
Yeah. Kind of impressive.
[detective 1]
You know what he gave us, Fred?
He gave us the glove that you left at
a torch job on 77th Street last January.
I can't wait
to get the DNA results back on that.
What my partner's saying, Fred,
is we own your ass.
We got you.
What's his name?
The guy who caught you?
His name is David Gudsen.
I'll talk to him.
[coworker] Dude!
- [applause]
- [Gudsen laughing] Hey.
You beautiful motherfuckers. Thank you.
- Finally, huh?
- Oh, shit.
- There he is. Mr. MVP.
- [laughing]
Oh, shit. [laughs]
- You spectacular motherfucker, you.
- Stop.
- Nah, man. Come on.
- Please, stop.
Oh, wait. What-what-what we got going
- Oh, you know.
- What's happening?
- Makeup for TV. I was on TV.
- A little makeup?
- I don't know if you heard?
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, no, I saw you.
- Yeah.
- You looked real good. You looked good.
- Mmm.
Ashley must be loving this, huh?
[groans]
She is. Mmm.
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure she is.
- Yeah.
All right, come on.
Give me the details. Shit.
How'd you do it?
Solid police work.
Fuck you. [laughs]
All right. Come on, man. Seriously.
I You know,
I had a hunch, and I followed it.
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
You didn't tell me about your hunch.
[smacks lips] A lot of hunches suck.
- [phone buzzing]
- [sucks teeth]
You're not wrong about that.
Hey, Investigator Gudsen.
Uh-huh.
[stammers] Of course.
I-I'm happy to help.
Yeah. On my way.
- Shoot. Gotta run.
- Yeah?
Yeah, Milk Jug wants
to speak with me, so
Oh, nice. Can I come?
Why?
I don't know. Maybe I could learn
a little bit from the master.
- Yeah?
- All right.
- [chuckles]
- Yeah, man.
- Bravo, bravo. Give him his flowers.
- Hey. I could get used to this.
So, what you're asking of me,
a private citizen,
is to sit across from a man you believe
is a psychopath and lie to him?
And if you catch him
because of your little ruse,
then I'm to trust he has no partners
and will never make bail.
And if you don't catch him,
then I've just become known
to a serial arsonist
as the woman who lied to him
about his book and crushed his dreams?
Yeah, well, sure. I-I mean,
when you put it like that it-it, um
Mm-hmm. Jason will see you out.
What would you have paid him,
uh, for the book?
We don't pay. A publisher does.
And what would a
publisher have paid, say?
Flavor-of-the-month prices.
Six figures. Low six figures, but six.
So, what would they pay
for the real story?
So, an arson investigator
who turns out to be an arsonist,
who then becomes a hero by catching,
uh, another arsonist in the act,
who also happens to be writing a book
about an arsonist being targeted
by an arson investigator,
both of whom
[chuckles] he based on himself.
Oh.
I mean [chuckles]
Jason, honey, get Damien Castlebach
on the phone. Tell him it's urgent.
Damien Castlebach, the attorney?
[sighs] No, Damien Castlebach,
the veterinary podiatrist.
How many fucking Damien Castlebachs
do you know?
Yes, Ms. Boswell.
[sighs]
Exclusive rights to not only the story,
but the life rights for all of you.
And the journalist
I choose to tell the tale
will have full access to your case files.
[inhales sharply, stammering]
The last one I can't guarantee, no.
Oh. Then find another agent.
[inhales deeply]
Okay.
Well, thank you so much.
Access to all files not subject
to ongoing litigation.
How's that?
Yeah. I can work with that.
Mm-hmm.
[ATF agent, on comms]
Gudsen's entering Crawford precinct.
[door opens]
[Gudsen chuckles]
How you doing, Fred?
Heard you wanted to talk to me.
Hmm?
[chuckles]
[sucks teeth, clears throat]
[sighs]
I created a profile on you.
Heard it's gonna be used
in criminology courses
in three colleges.
One of them being an Ivy.
[chuckles]
Yeah. [sighs]
I nailed you, man.
Poverty
the youth homes
The only thing I got wrong
I thought you had a 'fro.
One of them Black Panther 'fros.
Size of a fucking
traffic cone. [chuckles]
But otherwise, spot on.
[sighs]
Who was she?
Who? [scoffs]
The one that gave you the hole.
What fucking hole are you talking about?
[clicks tongue] I, uh
I got some questions for you, Fred.
It's a big hole.
When did you start doing fires, hmm?
I saw these maggots
eating a dead bird once.
[scoffs]
Like its insides had spilled
and became this soup.
Squirmy.
Leaky.
Were you a juvenile?
And that's your soul.
Maggots in a dead bird.
[scoffs, chuckles]
[whispering] Who was she?
[scoffs]
[chuckles] Look, Fred,
I don't think you're in any position
- to be talking about anybody else's soul.
- Your mother?
Your mother.
Why didn't she love you?
[stammers]
You
You used a single gallon
[gulps] jug for m
mo most of your fires.
Why, um
Why did you use six jugs
for the, uh [gulps] Tillman house?
Did she catch you doing something?
Or w-were you not what she wanted or
Shut the fuck up, dude.
[chuckles] I mean
[whispering] Or was it something like
you and me have right now?
She recognized shit
when she smelled it.
[stammering]
- Let's get back to
- I knew you
500 years ago.
And I'll know you 500 years from now.
Your hate is your food.
You got a lot of hate, Fred.
Freddy.
[chuckles]
B-But then you've got a lot to hate, hmm?
[whispering] Two dozen foster homes?
[gasps]
It's heartbreaking.
But why did you have to burn all
those people? Burn them alive over it?
I don't know.
Mmm.
Sad.
[sighs]
It's so sad.
And what's your excuse?
Well, I don't commit arson.
I don't kill people.
[chuckling]
Oh. "You are like whitewashed tombs.
Beautiful on the outside
but on the inside
full of the bones of the dead."
[laughing]
I think
[Freddy laughing in distance]
Well [sighs] that was interesting.
[Calderone] Shit.
Thai food.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna take the rest of the
Take it off, man.
Good Good idea.
Can you come out a sec?
[Benji] Kinda busy, babe.
Oh, now that shit's just frigid.
[sighs]
That's just my sister in your head.
Would you leave our daughter alone
with your mother?
Then why let her live with us?
Hey, uh, Dawn?
Yeah, how's she holding up, huh?
- Solid as a rock.
- [Boswell] What's that?
- I'm just throwing you a compliment.
- [chuckles]
[muffled speech]
Hey. Hey, you got any salt?
- Hey. Hey, hey, he-heads up.
- [fingers snap]
He's coming in from the north.
- On his way. What's my name?
- Uh, Hillary.
Hillary Milton.
- Good. You ready?
- Mm-hmm.
- Ugh.
- Ah!
I recognize that hero from television.
Come, come. [chuckles]
You're more handsome in person.
Erica Boswell.
- David?
- Dave.
Ah, such an honor.
My colleague, Hillary Milton.
Huge fan.
- Uh, well, thank you for inviting me.
- [Boswell] Mm-hmm.
- Oh, but sit. Sit. [chuckles]
- Please. Yeah.
[Boswell] Ah. Oh.
Uh, oopsie. Shouldn't have had
that double macchiato.
- [chuckles]
- [Dawn] Oh. Yeah.
[Dawn clears throat]
First, let us apologize
for the letter you received.
Mm-hmm. The employee who sent it
has been demoted.
Um, Hillary replaced him.
And I firmly believe,
if we were to represent your book,
- we could land you a significant advance.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, well, uh that sounds lovely.
- [Boswell chuckles]
- [Dawn] Mmm.
Uh, in your query, you said everything
was inspired by fact.
For legal reasons, we need to clarify
what's true and what's fiction.
[Ezra] Hey, waiter's coming in.
Can you try to booze him up a little bit?
[waiter] Can I get you folks
started with some drinks?
- [Boswell] Mm-hmm.
- [Dawn] Well, uh, champagne?
- Our treat.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm not going back
into the office. [chuckles]
[Boswell laughs]
- [Calderone panting]
- [chattering]
[Ashley sighs]
[Calderone panting]
Is someone using this one?
- Huh?
- Is someone using this one?
Oh, shit. Sorry, that's mine.
[treadmill beeping]
Ashley? David Gudsen's wife, right?
- Yeah.
- [pants] Yeah.
I'm Michelle, his partner.
He's got a picture of you on his desk.
I haven't seen you around here.
Yeah, I just joined.
It's nice.
How's it feel being married to a hero?
[Ashley chuckles]
Christ, you're pretty.
Thanks, you too.
I'd cheat on me with you.
Okay.
- No, I did not
- [treadmill beeping]
I did not ever
I read his book.
It's okay. We're done.
You wanna screw him, screw him.
[sighs] No.
What Dave wrote about us
was complete fiction.
[sighs]
No, this is fiction.
You didn't leave
in the middle of a workday,
drive 40 minutes to a gym
you don't belong to
and just happen to bump into me
by coincidence.
What do you want?
[sighs]
If I suspected your husband of a crime,
would that shock you?
What crime would that be?
Well, what crime you think
he'd be capable of?
Anything.
["The Seventh Son" playing]
[no audible dialogue]
[distorted] What?
[laughs]
[music continues]
[laughing]
- [Dawn] A monk arsonist? [chuckles]
- [Gudsen] Right?
But then the devices we found at the site
pointed at this other guy
we've been tracking for a bit.
[Boswell] The Divide & Conquer arsonist.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
[Dawn] So is that Donald in the book?
Mostly.
Yeah.
What's Donald's motivation?
Yeah, why does he do it?
'Cause he's smarter than everyone.
[Dawn] Aren't there easier ways
to show that?
Less violent ones?
[Gudsen]
Uh, Donald feels like a lot of guys.
Certain people get
special treatment and advantages,
and Donald is just left
to play a rigged game.
He knows he's smarter,
he knows he's capable of doing
any job you put in front of him. He's
superior.
Why's he light the fires then?
[chuckles]
To punish them.
Okay, that's great. That's great.
Just reel him in.
Just reel him in nice and easy, okay?
Nice and easy.
For what?
F-For rejecting him.
How? He's a white man in America.
Every door is open to him.
Yeah, except the ones
held for people who didn't earn it.
And he could walk through those too.
Let's get back to the book.
There used to be men in this country.
Now there's just dickless coolies
with messenger bags and therapists who
tell them it's acceptable to be dickless.
And those men have ample opportunity.
- No! [chuckles]
- [cutlery clatters]
No, they do not.
Fucking snapped the line.
She fucking snapped the line, man.
Fuck!
So, Donald is
He's just a sick bastard, you know?
Here it is, here it is. Can you
get him to talk about Old Sully's?
Can you tell us about
that fire in the hardware store?
Yes, that was so vivid.
I-I felt like
I was right there. [chuckles]
[Dawn] How much of it was based on fact?
Some of it.
Most of it was just imagination.
No. He's not stupid.
[clattering]
[Calderone] Okay, but now
why'd you think he was cheating?
- [Ashley] Other than the book?
- Yeah.
He was gone most nights.
Said he was needed at a fire,
but no call came in over his radio.
Oh.
You think he was burning stuff
that whole time?
Maybe.
You ever see him set a fire?
- Only at a campsite.
- Hmm.
Have you ever talked
to his ex-wives at all or
I I only know about one.
Oh. Well, um
there are two.
Fucker never told you?
Fucker did not.
[sighs] I'm I'm sorry.
I I didn't know.
You're thinking why'd she marry him?
Why'd she take so long to leave?
No. I [sighs]
I think leaving at all is fucking brave.
Women don't get to be brave.
When we're single,
we're scared of commitment.
When we settle down, we're cowards.
When we divorce, we're giving up.
So what are you?
[chuckles] I'm very single.
[both chuckling]
No one can hurt you
and all it costs is loneliness.
Good deal.
Dave ever hurt you?
There were times when
we'd have the most boring conversation.
"What's for dinner?"
"Turn the TV off." You know?
And Dave would smile in my face
but when he turned around,
I'd catch him in a reflection.
Not Dave, but this
thing
living inside of Dave.
It wanted to take a hammer to my skull.
But he never actually hurt you?
He just had fantasies.
Like what?
We had rough sex.
Consensual, but Dave pushed the limits.
[breathes shakily]
He said he wanted to rape me
in a burning building.
And he wanted to film it.
[sighs]
That never happened, right?
[sighs]
No.
It was just a fantasy.
[sighs]
Look, the guy the guy
the guy had a fantasy, okay?
I-I shouldn't be blamed
for the sludge that's in his head.
Yeah, but he fantasized
about filming it, Ezra.
Yeah, yeah, but we
we didn't do anything like that.
"Like that."
Okay, so you obviously did something.
Oh, come on. Come on.
Give me a fucking break, will you?
All right.
So if I go right now, and I-I get
a warrant for all of your DVDs
of your artfully crafted sexual cinema,
I'm not gonna find a single one
featuring Dave Gudsen, right?
All right, all right.
You're gonna find two.
- Two, okay?
- Stop bullshitting me then.
My early work.
I don't do that shit no more.
You couldn't have told me this
from the beginning?
[groans] Oh, you don't
you don't do your rape fantasies anymore?
- That's what you're saying you don't do.
- Not in a burning building like that.
And-And let me tell you something,
she was into it.
- Oh, yeah.
- Ain't no way.
- I don't buy that. Ashley's not the type.
- I'm not talking about her.
Well, who the fuck you talking about?
Oh, fuck!
- God Fucking
- Who are you talking about, Ezra?
Reba, okay? Reba. His second wife.
Oh.
So then Reba knows the real Dave?
Oh, yeah.
More than anybody on Earth.
[bottles clink]
So, Dave's getting an award?
Yeah, yeah. A commendation
for saving that woman's life.
- Ah.
- Might get the keys to the city
if his background checks out.
[chuckles]
Wanna know the truth about Dave?
Yeah, I do.
He's a good guy.
- Huh.
- Great at his job.
So he's a saint?
Oh, he can be a dick.
Sometimes he's an entitled asshole
who's incapable of self-reflection.
You call that a good guy?
What's a good guy?
A choir boy who loves his mom,
flosses his teeth every night?
That your kinda guy?
[chuckles] No, no, no. No.
So, Dave was exciting?
Yeah?
Why'd you divorce him?
I wanted a partner.
He wanted a wife.
[Calderone] Mmm.
I'm not the domestic type.
And I cheated on him. [sighs]
That offend your moral sensibilities?
[sighs] Honestly, no.
Certainly not in a place to judge.
You been there.
Uh Had an affair a while back
with my boss.
Hmm.
Called it off. I got scared.
He hurt you?
[clicks tongue]
You know, he would smile to my face,
but he had this thing living inside of
him that just wanted to see me suffer.
I know that road.
Was that Dave's road?
- [exhales sharply] No.
- [door opens]
Another guy.
- [door closes]
- A while back.
[spouse] Come on, honey.
[Reba] How was dance?
[spouse] Oh, it was good.
Go on. Go play.
I'll call you when dinner's ready.
Thought you were going to a party.
I was.
Mmm. Hi.
Hi, I'm, uh, Todd.
Michelle.
I'm heading out. Um
Thanks for your time.
If I have any other questions,
I'll call you.
Sounds good.
[Dawn] Did we blow it?
[Ezra] No, no, no, no.
But she definitely
triggered his spidey sense.
Let's just Let's just give
it a couple days and then,
uh, tell him you found a publisher.
Where's he now?
[scoffs] Some party
they're throwing for him.
[groans]
[muffled cheering]
[no audible dialogue]
["Holding Out for a Hero" playing]
John, same again.
You play this? Huh?
I need a hero ♪
I'm holding out for a hero
Till the end of the night ♪
[both] And he's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast ♪
And he's gotta be
fresh from the fight ♪
- [chuckles] Here he is. There's my guy.
- Yeah. Yeah.
All right, get a room,
you handsome pansexuals.
Can I have a Maker's
for my friend, please?
- I got a fucking beer.
- It's a party, for God's sake.
- It's a party. Come on, enjoy.
- [Calderone chuckles]
Here is to the fucking hero!
- Hell yeah!
- Okay!
You two have known
each other for a while, huh?
Mmm? What's that?
I said you've known each other
for a while then, huh?
This guy here
was my first training officer.
[gasps] Oh, I see.
So it's like a father-daughter thing?
Why do you like fire?
What's that?
[Steven] You heard me.
[Gudsen] No, I don't like fire.
I fight fire.
Oh, he fights fire?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Okay. Cool.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Sorry, I meant It was my mistake.
- No.
- We're gonna let the hero have his drink.
- That's funny. That's good.
- Come on, Captain.
- I see.
- [Calderone] I'm gonna be here, okay?
- [Steven] Enjoy, hero.
[Calderone] I'm gonna play some pool.
You roll over if she tells you to?
"Fetch. Lie down.
Lick your own balls." [chuckles]
"Oh, good boy.
There's a good boy."
- You know what you are?
- Uh
I'm pretty sure I'm the guy
who just caught the Milk Jug Arsonist.
You're not me.
You know who I am?
Educate me.
Everything you wish you were.
[chuckles] Oh.
Everything you wish you had,
and never will.
Because you are a fucking loser.
[Gudsen grunts]
[coughing]
[Steven]
Could I pay for the, uh, hero's drinks?
Thank you so much.
- [coughing]
- Okay.
Get the fuck off me! [coughs]
[rap music playing]
[Harvey] Hey.
You okay, bud?
[Gudsen breathes heavily]
Yeah.
That motherfucker
just fucking sucker punched me,
and you just stood there!
Just left me standing
at the bar like a f
Like a bitch.
You know, my head's been a little
With Lauren's wedding and
I thought we were pals.
[sniffs]
He knows.
["March of the Pigs" playing]
[no audible dialogue]
Don't you understand, you tiny
[shouts indistinctly]
[Dawn] He shook the tail
and lost the tracker.
Oh, shit. How?
Driving like a fucking maniac.
All right, all right.
Put a car on his motel right fucking now.
[music continues]
[Dawn] Hey, Espo.
[Dawn speaks indistinctly]
[both speaking indistinctly]
[Dawn] Sure. Yeah.
- [Ezra] Drive safe. Peace.
- Okay.
[music continues]
[engine starts]
[music fades, ends]
["The Parting Glass" playing]
[gasping, choking]
[music ends]