Superjail! (2007) s01e07 Episode Script
Mr. Grumpy-Pants
Ah.
Aah! # Oh, life on the outside ain't what it used to be # # You know, the world's gone crazy # # And it ain't safe on the street # # Oh, we're losing track # # And I know there's only one place to go # # I'm coming home # # Whoa, yeah # # I'm coming home # Morning, Bill! Morning, Fred! Heading to work? You betcha, Bill.
Aah! Free radicals! Yuck.
Happy birthday, Mr.
Warden, you wrinkled old prune.
Aah! Jailbot, what in the hell is that?! It's grotesque! Take that thing to the incinerator and burn it alive! Old man death is preparing my grave as I speak.
Aah! The horror! Phew! The warden will never find his birthday presents hidden here.
She's beautiful.
Yeah.
Let's burn her! No! She's mine.
I found her.
I found her first! And I want to burn her! Burn this! Aah! Come on, firefly.
You're coming with me.
So, how's the birthday boy today? Are you ready for your big surprise party? This old hag wants to be left alone on his special day.
B- b-but, warden, I've been Are you deaf and dumb?! Get away from me, you meddling twerp! I have to get the Warden an extra-special gift to lift his spirits.
What the he excuse me, sir! I ordered that creature to be destroyed! Now give her to me! Flame out! That little brat is so young and pure, it makes my inner child mad with rage! She makes me so angry, I could just Unh! Unh! Aah! What's this? S- s-s-s-s-s "Sanser.
" Your name is Sanser.
What a pretty name.
Oh, look! Today is your birthday.
We'll have to have a party! With lots of candles.
A little birdy told me that you was hiding something.
Yeah! A little girl! And she's underage.
This is supposed to be the place, but I have been expecting you, Jared.
Come, come.
What do you seek? I have to find the perfect gift for the warden's birthday.
You want Chinese prostitutes? Um, no.
I was thinking more like something for his appearance.
The answer you seek is here.
Ancient Chinese mystery butter! When applied to the body, it will rejuvenate even the most withered old soul.
I'll take it! Uh, time for me to go.
"And the b- bu bunny said 'I I I "' love you.
Aww! Enough reading! Aah! It's time for Sanser's nap.
You guys get to work on the party decorations.
Hey, Janice, just came in to check your progress.
Oh, this looks great! This cake is sure to pull the Warden out of his slump.
Thanks, ladies! Mm.
It needs more icing.
What do we have here? Mommy? Huh? She made cherries.
Who's responsible for this? 'Cause they're about to get a pound down.
We were only trying to take care of her.
It's her birthday, and we're throwing her a big party tonight.
Well, I'm taking her into custody for a birthday makeover.
Come on, honey.
Can you read me a story? "One day, Mr.
Bunny woke to find a baby at his door.
" Aww! They're beating us! I can't fight much longer! Everything is going black.
We just lost kidneys! I'm out of here! Let me get that for you, angel.
# Hmm, hmm hmm # Now that you've become a woman out of your mouth, you need to start acting and dressing like a woman.
There.
Perfect.
Uhh Warden, what are you doing out here?! We have to hurry up! It's time for your party.
If you don't cheer up, I'm going to have to start calling you Mr.
Grumpy pants.
Now, I think you'll find something very surprising behind this door.
What the hell is going on here?! Where did everything go?! Warden, you sit tight while I get to the bottom of this! You know where everybody is.
They're at the party for that little girl! That's why we've got to take matters into our own hands! You know what must be done! Aah! # What a wonderful day for Sanser # # The candles burning bright # # What a wonderful day for Sanser # # Like fires in the night # Happy birthday, Sanser.
This cake tastes weird.
Hello, everybody! What a wonderful party.
Glad to be here.
Little girl, I have an extra-special present for you.
Happy birthday, bitch! I feel funny.
Aah! Aah! Aww! Aah! Stop! She was so innocent.
A little angel.
Yeah.
And now she's gone forever.
# Little girl, like a flame in my hearth # # Flickers # # Burning scars of love # # Was this all a fantasy # # Or is your fire a never-ending flame # Oh, Sanser, look at how beautiful you are.
The fire may have gone out inside you, but it hasn't inside me.
Can you feel the heat, baby girl? I'll light a candle for you Burning burning!
Aah! # Oh, life on the outside ain't what it used to be # # You know, the world's gone crazy # # And it ain't safe on the street # # Oh, we're losing track # # And I know there's only one place to go # # I'm coming home # # Whoa, yeah # # I'm coming home # Morning, Bill! Morning, Fred! Heading to work? You betcha, Bill.
Aah! Free radicals! Yuck.
Happy birthday, Mr.
Warden, you wrinkled old prune.
Aah! Jailbot, what in the hell is that?! It's grotesque! Take that thing to the incinerator and burn it alive! Old man death is preparing my grave as I speak.
Aah! The horror! Phew! The warden will never find his birthday presents hidden here.
She's beautiful.
Yeah.
Let's burn her! No! She's mine.
I found her.
I found her first! And I want to burn her! Burn this! Aah! Come on, firefly.
You're coming with me.
So, how's the birthday boy today? Are you ready for your big surprise party? This old hag wants to be left alone on his special day.
B- b-but, warden, I've been Are you deaf and dumb?! Get away from me, you meddling twerp! I have to get the Warden an extra-special gift to lift his spirits.
What the he excuse me, sir! I ordered that creature to be destroyed! Now give her to me! Flame out! That little brat is so young and pure, it makes my inner child mad with rage! She makes me so angry, I could just Unh! Unh! Aah! What's this? S- s-s-s-s-s "Sanser.
" Your name is Sanser.
What a pretty name.
Oh, look! Today is your birthday.
We'll have to have a party! With lots of candles.
A little birdy told me that you was hiding something.
Yeah! A little girl! And she's underage.
This is supposed to be the place, but I have been expecting you, Jared.
Come, come.
What do you seek? I have to find the perfect gift for the warden's birthday.
You want Chinese prostitutes? Um, no.
I was thinking more like something for his appearance.
The answer you seek is here.
Ancient Chinese mystery butter! When applied to the body, it will rejuvenate even the most withered old soul.
I'll take it! Uh, time for me to go.
"And the b- bu bunny said 'I I I "' love you.
Aww! Enough reading! Aah! It's time for Sanser's nap.
You guys get to work on the party decorations.
Hey, Janice, just came in to check your progress.
Oh, this looks great! This cake is sure to pull the Warden out of his slump.
Thanks, ladies! Mm.
It needs more icing.
What do we have here? Mommy? Huh? She made cherries.
Who's responsible for this? 'Cause they're about to get a pound down.
We were only trying to take care of her.
It's her birthday, and we're throwing her a big party tonight.
Well, I'm taking her into custody for a birthday makeover.
Come on, honey.
Can you read me a story? "One day, Mr.
Bunny woke to find a baby at his door.
" Aww! They're beating us! I can't fight much longer! Everything is going black.
We just lost kidneys! I'm out of here! Let me get that for you, angel.
# Hmm, hmm hmm # Now that you've become a woman out of your mouth, you need to start acting and dressing like a woman.
There.
Perfect.
Uhh Warden, what are you doing out here?! We have to hurry up! It's time for your party.
If you don't cheer up, I'm going to have to start calling you Mr.
Grumpy pants.
Now, I think you'll find something very surprising behind this door.
What the hell is going on here?! Where did everything go?! Warden, you sit tight while I get to the bottom of this! You know where everybody is.
They're at the party for that little girl! That's why we've got to take matters into our own hands! You know what must be done! Aah! # What a wonderful day for Sanser # # The candles burning bright # # What a wonderful day for Sanser # # Like fires in the night # Happy birthday, Sanser.
This cake tastes weird.
Hello, everybody! What a wonderful party.
Glad to be here.
Little girl, I have an extra-special present for you.
Happy birthday, bitch! I feel funny.
Aah! Aah! Aww! Aah! Stop! She was so innocent.
A little angel.
Yeah.
And now she's gone forever.
# Little girl, like a flame in my hearth # # Flickers # # Burning scars of love # # Was this all a fantasy # # Or is your fire a never-ending flame # Oh, Sanser, look at how beautiful you are.
The fire may have gone out inside you, but it hasn't inside me.
Can you feel the heat, baby girl? I'll light a candle for you Burning burning!