The Iris Affair (2025) s01e07 Episode Script

1
This programme contains violence and
very strong language.
PYM: All I ask,
is for you to wake it.
Just long enough for me
to take just what I need.
This is about a child.
I shit you, Pym.
I shit you out.
Before things get too convivial
Show me the book. Your face in
the picture. Stick out your tongue.
Close your left eye.
I'm taking Joy home.
But I'm not giving you the book.
You don't have the right to do this
just because it frightens you.
It should frighten you, too.
Yes! -Yes!
-Yes!
(IN ITALIAN)
If you just wanna farm clicks
and call it journalism,
go ahead, do it.
After all this time in hiding,
Iris, why come forward now?
I need to leave behind a record
of what happened and why.
Fancy some breakfast? Yeah.
Charlie mustn't wake. (GASPS)
Can't believe we did it.
Keep thinking it's a trick.
Keep thinking I'm gonna look down,
be in my underpants
and then I'll wake up
and it'll be last Wednesday, and
everything will all still be shit.
OK, let's get this bit over with.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
(PHONE VIBRATES)
(EXHALES)
(SNIFFLES)
(PHONE DIALLING)
This is it? This is the password?
Technically, I think it's actually
an Activation Sequence.
Once it's decoded.
It's extraordinary,
isn't it, really?
All this for one line of characters
in the diary
of a seething great bedlamite.
Except he's a bit more than that,
isn't he? Or none of us would be here.
You know, you're absolutely right.
And I should say, Cameron,
this was very nicely played.
Well, it was all down to Joy, really.
I can't tell you what this means.
To me. My chairperson.
The entire executive, really.
It means "apologise to Joy for being
a bell end" is what it means.
(HELICOPTER WHIRS)
Cameron, when do you arrive?
Well, I think Joy's hungry.
We might stop off for breakfast.
Lovely. OK, well let me know
when you're close. Alright?
And, Cameron
thank you again.
Done!
(LIGHT DRAMATIC MUSIC)
SIOUXSIE SIOUX:
Here Comes That Day ♪
Oh, here comes that day
Here comes that day
Oh, here comes the rain
On your parade
There's a price to pay
For a life of insincerity
And you pretend
That it doesn't matter
And that you're not scared
Oh, here comes that day
Here comes that day
Oh, here comes the rain
On your parade. ♪
I suppose what happened is,
a few days ago,
I was basically kidnapped.
This bloke called Cameron,
he took us to this massive base.
There was a policeman
he was quite badly beaten.
I don't know his name.
ALFIE: (ON DEVICE)
Badly beaten by who?
I think they were
technically detectives.
(WHISPERS) Judas.
(GUN CLICKING)
Where is she?
She's over there.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Iris?
Did you know the oldest cave
paintings in the world are of a pig?
Uh No.
35,000 years later and
we are still drawing pigs on walls.
It's like we've got
this species-level compulsion
to store data.
Right. Are you OK?
Like, I mean,
'Marco and Roberta forever.'
Except they knew it wasn't forever,
right, otherwise,
why bother writing it down?
What they're actually saying was:
Marco and Roberta for not so long.
Marco and Roberta for one summer.
Or until Marco crashes his car
into a tree
or Roberta breaks his heart
and leaves.
Which means: "Marco and Roberta
were actually here."
They existed in this moment in time.
Because if they don't preserve it,
it would be carried downstream
into infinity
until it's gone forever.
That's the bleakest thing
I ever heard.
And I've got the early Cure albums.
They made a record of an event
that nobody would've known
about otherwise.
That's not bleak.
That's journalism.
You see?
That is actually
Yeah. Yeah, I can see that.
That makes sense, actually.
Good. Because it is time
to make your mark.
Two seconds To midnight.
Get the truth out there.
About Cameron. About Jensen.
Charlie Big Potatoes.
About the people who died for it.
And who killed for it.
Including you?
Including me. The whole truth.
Scorched Earth.
Upload it to your channel.
Get famous. Write a book.
And let someone else stop Cameron.
Police. Intelligence services.
Whoever.
What about you?
I don't matter.
I'm not having that.
Of course you do. Listen.
What these people are doing
is next-level dangerous
OK, and they need to be stopped. And I'm not
gonna be the one who does it. Not anymore.
So it's down to you now.
I failed, but you imagine.
Alfie was here.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Fuck it, then. -Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Let's do it.
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)
(DOOR BUZZES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
So how long's this gonna take?
This is the bacterium
the password's coded against.
Five million base pairs
in the sequence.
We don't know the starting point,
so we need to brute force it.
Best estimate? Minutes.
Outstanding.
Except it's a two-level code.
-Meaning?
-We need to decipher the top-level first.
Work out what all the circles
and squiggles signify.
And how long will that take?
Hours. Days. Weeks? Who knows?
Fine.
I think I'll take Professor Lind
for some fresh air.
Maybe that will help.
(MUTTERS) For fuck's sake.
(DOOR WHIRS OPEN)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(DOOR OPENS)
(GRUNTS)
Hello, you fucking abomination.
(PANTING)
(SCOFFS)
What?
Just thought you'd be a vegetarian.
Why?
Cos you look like a vegetarian.
Why?
Cos you're wearing
vegetarian trousers.
That's so stupid.
(PHONE VIBRATES)
Is it her?
(PHONE VIBRATES)
Are you gonna answer it?
I don't know.
You're right. I should. Hello, Iris.
Just a second.
You should eat.
I feel a bit sick now, actually.
You chose a side.
It's not a coin you can unflip.
Sorry about that.
Can you hear me OK?
Well, you sound like a prick.
So I can hear you fine.
How are you?
You don't sound like yourself.
Oh, no, this is definitely me.
There's no getting away from that,
actually. How's Joy?
Oh, she's really good, she's having
breakfast in an Autogrill.
Oh, that sounds nice and normal.
I actually miss a bit of normal.
Me too.
You can't beat a bit of normal.
For what it's worth, I do wish
things had worked out differently.
Well, it's a big universe.
Somewhere it did.
Yeah, look at us (!)
All those realities and we get
ourselves stuck in this one.
Listen. The reason I'm calling.
Concession speech?
There's more that unites us
than divides us.
It's a far, far better whatever
than thingy?
You wish. Oh, dear, thought not.
I'm giving you an opportunity.
How exciting. To what?
Take an axe to the device.
Kill it. Don't let it wake.
Or you'll what?
Hold your breath until you're sick?
I will destroy you.
Oh, for God's sake.
Listen to Shiva the Destroyer.
You know what happens
if you keep this up.
Bring it on.
And the people that helped you?
Nico Casterman? Alfie Bird?
Yes, I know their names.
What about them?
Fuck them.
But you know the Money runs on fear.
Which means punishing betrayal.
They'll go scorched Earth.
They won't just kill YouTube tosser
and the other one.
They'll murder their families. And
their friends. And their children.
They'll set fire
to their fucking dogs
and impale their cats
on bamboo spikes.
Let them burn. And you too.
Fuck you all.
So that's how it is?
(GRUNTS)
How is she?
Oh, she's a funny old sausage,
is Iris.
She doesn't feel things
the way the rest of us do.
She can make you believe she does,
but she doesn't really.
So you mustn't feel bad
about upsetting her.
I think she's basically
un-upset table.
She thought that it was funny,
in a weird way.
She was laughing about it.
She says "hi", by the way.
Yeah.
I don't know!
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(BIRDS TWEETING)
(VIDEO WHIRS)
What happened over the last few days
is I was basically kidnapped.
This bloke called Cameron,
he took us to this massive base.
There was a policeman,
he was quite badly beaten.
I think they were
technically detectives
but well, most of the blood
was theirs, so
What?!
(IN ITALIAN)
First patient, pull out the skull
Remove the cancer ♪
Wake up, Nico.
I heard what she said to him.
"Fuck them!
Let them burn!"
She was lying!
It's It's her thing!
It's It's how she does stuff!
It doesn't matter
if she was lying or not.
Because Cameron Beck wasn't.
So that's it?
Yeah, we we just sod off home,
have a Pot Noodle?
Forget any of it ever happened?
Charlie Big Potatoes.
Murdered scientists!
Corrupt police! Cameron bloody Beck?
Nobody's forgetting anything.
Because Teo is dead
and I'm going to make sure the
right people are punished for it.
But we need to do it the right way.
Being what?
We contact Interpol.
We need to provide evidence
that's on your laptop.
Footage of Joy Baxter making
her statement about Teo.
Her abduction by Cameron Beck.
That kind of evidence buys us
government protection.
Interpol will bury it,
we have got a duty.
People need to know!
They will. In time.
When due process has run its course.
And who gets to tell them?
I see.
It's all about the clicks.
Oh, fuck the clicks!
This is real!
And it And it matters!
They'll kill you for it, Alfie.
Does it matter that much?
We need to get that laptop
to Interpol. Now!
So we will have the device
operational in a day or two at most.
So all that silence and sacrifice
brought you nothing
but a lot of torment and
a little time.
Of course, you can save me
a few precious hours.
Give me the activation code,
Professor Lind.
The little girl
is running out of time.
Wake the device, Jensen.
Help me do what has to be done.
(SNIFFLES)
You think it will serve you.
At first, it will appear to.
It'll seduce you
by giving you what you long for
until the day comes
when you realise
you are serving it.
I'm trying
to protect us.
(BREATHS DEEPLY)
(TENSE MUSIC)
No.
No. No. No.
No. No!
Clear. Three, two, one.
We're going for another cycle.
Three, two, one.
(COUGHING)
(WHEEZING)
So now you know how it feels to die.
What did you see?
Nothing.
Really? No communion with the dead?
No wife and child beckoning you
into the beyond?
Good.
Because I'm not just gonna kill
you once, Jensen.
I'm gonna kill you
over and over again.
I'm gonna kill you every day.
I'm just gonna keep killing you
and killing you and killing you
until you kiss my feet
and beg me to let you stay dead.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
MAN: (ON RADIO) Alpha Six,
you are clear to land on Blue Alpha.
JOY: What's going on?
I don't know.
I mean, is everything alright?
I think probably no.
Because it doesn't look alright.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Oh, don't be silly.
What's all this bollocks?
Oh, the device is our property,
Cameron,
so my first priority
should be its safety, no?
Yeah. No-one's going anywhere until
we've ensured that everything is
as it should be. May I?
Mm-hmm.
Do you have any idea of the trouble
you've caused us?
You strutting shit cunt?
Actually, do you know what?
Leave him! Joy! Stay back.
Let him go!
Get off him.
Joy!
Excuse me!
Just. Fucking. Don't!
Let's go inside, then, shall we?
Lock them in the maniac's suite.
Are you OK? Uh-uh.
(ENGINE REVS)
(IN ITALIAN)
(MUFFLED MUSIC)
How much longer? It's not far.
(ENGINES REVVING)
Shit What? What?
Can you hear that?
Fuck, Alfie take this.
Up, up, up, up, up!
We need to call a truce.
Bruni has found us.
Yeah. Truce. OK. Good idea.
Come on.
Stay still.
Hey. Hey. Stop it, please!
Hey! Come on, stop!
(IN ITALIAN)
Laptop. Come on!
What is happening?
(IN ITALIAN)
How'd they find us?
Alfie, run!
(ENGINES REVS)
What do you thinks happened to him?
Jensen?
I don't know.
He's probably alright, more or less.
What about me and you?
Oh, we'll be fine.
Don't be scared.
One day soon
you'll look around and you'll find
yourself living your old life.
And all this will be something
you don't talk about,
you don't really even think about.
And because you don't talk about it,
or think about it,
it'll become less and less real.
Till the time comes,
when you're my age
then it's just something
half-remembered
that bubbles up in bad dreams.
I can't imagine being your age.
Nor can I.
Does it hurt? Oh, God, yes.
I haven't been in a fight
since I was nine.
This is all her fault.
Iris.
Well, up to a point.
To be fair, I think she was only
doing what she thought was best.
In her funny little way.
I don't understand,
why she's so scared of it.
Charlie.
She's scared the universe
might be more beautiful
than she can tolerate.
Who'd be scared of that?
Everyone, I think.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(ENGINES REVVING)
Stop, I'll shoot!
Guys. Guys.
We've gotta stick together.
Nico, please.
(IN ITALIAN)
OK, come on
Stay close. Ready.
Get down!
Go! Hide.
(IN ITALIAN)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Two bars. We should call the police.
They are the police.
So what do we do?
Iris, there must be something.
Oh, shit. (GUN COCKS)
(PANTING)
Did you mean those things?
What things?
The things Nico heard you saying
in the aqua park.
I don't know. Probably. I mean,
what does "mean" even mean?
I don't think you meant it.
Not really.
I think you were angry. Yeah.
Yeah. We've all said things
when we were angry.
I'm so sorry, Alfie. I should never
have dragged you into this.
I should have just done it alone.
You couldn't have done it alone.
Well, it turns out,
I couldn't do it at all.
So that's it? They get away with it.
Cover it up, bury us in a ditch?
I don't think they're gonna bother
with a ditch.
(IN ITALIAN)
(TENSE MUSIC)
At least I was right about you, though.
You were 100% real.
Still am. For a few minutes, anyway.
Iris was here!
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Shit! Shit!
Two bars! And you actually are here!
Two bars and I'm here what?
Two bars and you're here live
with 80,000 followers!
We can live stream. Shit.
Let's do it.
OK.
This is Two Seconds To Midnight.
And I'm Alfie Bird.
I'm here with Iris Nixon.
And we need your help.
Shit. I've got shit signal.
Fuck, come on.
Yes.
Right, Ir Iris and I are
Well, we don't know exactly where
we are, but we are being hunted
by corrupt police officers who want
to kill us to stop the truth coming out.
They are working for a man
called Cameron (GUNSHOT)
(GUNSHOTS)
(IN ITALIAN)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(GUNSHOTS)
(SOMBRE MUSIC)
(BIRDS TWEETING)
There's enough evidence
on the laptop in here
to buy you official protection.
But lay low for now.
Till when?
Until I finish it.
(ENGINE STARTS, REVS)
Hello, Cameron.
This is Two Seconds To Midnight.
And I am on my way.
(MONITOR BLEEPING)
(CHIRPS)
We got co-ordinates.
(KEYBOARD CLICKING)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(EERIE WHIRRING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CRIES)