The Tom Green Farm (2026) s01e07 Episode Script
Never Enough Country
1
I'm Tom Green and,
this is The Tom Green Farm.
Jason Blaine is a Canadian
country star
who now makes his home
in Nashville,
but we always consider him
a good old Canadian country boy.
I'm trying my best at getting
a little bit better
at playing guitar,
but to be able to have
some of these great
Canadian artists come by
and play with me
is a lot of fun.
I'm a lucky guy.
Jon Dore has been on
Conan O'Brien,
he's been on all the talk shows,
he's performed
all over the world,
he's on Roast Battles ,
he lives in Alaska,
there's so much to talk about.
Jon Dore, one of the funniest
Canadians.
Always fun to get to hang
with Jon Dore.
Also today, I can't wait
for you to meet Brett and David
from Boho Vans.
They started this great company
and now they've been making
these vans for years
and they've become good friends
of mine,
and they came up to the farm
to help retrofit the van
with some new lights.
Today, on the show,
we're going to go back
to one of my earlier trips
where my now wife,
then fiancée Amanda and I
went down
to the American Southwest
and we explored some
Pueblo ruins
and some incredible vistas.
Phil Giroux is my oldest friend.
It's not that he's the oldest
friend that I have,
but I've known him longer
than most people.
But he is also old,
and so am I.
I had a show called
The Tom Green Show.
Phil Giroux would sit
in the background
drinking coffee,
pop by the farm,
and I can't wait for you
to see what he has to say.
Phil might be a little bit
of a conspiracy theorist.
I don't think he considers it
conspiracy,
because he thinks
it's the truth,
but you know, you'll have
to decide for yourself.
We had a great conversation
talking about everything
that you can imagine,
and stuff that you couldn't even
imagine as well. Thanks, Phil.
This is the Tom Green Farm ♪
It's not the Green Tom Farm ♪
This is my favourite farm
because it is my farm ♪
If this was your farm ♪
You'd probably like it more
than I did ♪
That's just because
it was your farm ♪
But it's not your farm,
it's The Tom Green Farm ♪
It's The Tom Green Farm ♪
- Hey!
- How are you, Jason?
- Mr. Tom Green, how are you?
- Good to see you, man.
Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thanks for coming.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Made it in from Pembroke, huh?
Absolutely, yeah.
This is the full real deal
farm operation.
- Yeah.
You got some chickens
in the background too, I hear.
- Yeah.
- This is great.
Guinea hens.
They eat all the ticks.
That's good, we've got our
fair share of ticks
down in Tennessee.
- Yeah, you're in Tennessee now?
- I am.
- That's amazing.
How's a guy from Pembroke,
Ontario, my hometown
I was born in Pembroke, Ontario.
But I know you kind of grew up
in Ottawa,
because we grew up
watching you on TV.
Yeah, well,
my dad was military,
so I was on Petawawa.
- Okay, yeah, sure.
We was living on the CFB
Petawawa base.
- Absolutely.
- When I was one
'til around six.
So I grew up listening
and loving country music
and kind of dreaming
about moving to Nashville.
And my wife and I,
we're both from Pembroke.
In the fall of '06, we packed up
a three-month-old baby girl
and moved to Nashville.
And that little girl is 19 now,
this summer.
You just started writing music
when you were a kid or?
I did, I did.
I started writing songs
when I was probably
15, 16 years old.
Your grandfather wrote one
of your songs?
I wrote the song
for my grandfather.
- Oh, okay.
- My grandfather, Harvey,
and his sweet wife,
my grandmother, Marilyn,
just lived such a country
love story.
You know, those grandpas,
those salt of the earth.
You know, I wear a brown
work shirt,
and I drive this truck,
and I drink this beer,
and it's just
it's just matter of fact.
So it made for a great
country song.
And that ended up winning me
my first country music award.
- It was about your grandfather.
- It was about my grandfather
and their love story.
And they flew out to the awards
and they were there
when I received my first
Canadian Country Music Award
in 2012.
Amazing. Well, I was thinking
maybe we could go
up in the loft of the barn
and you could show me
some guitar chords.
- Let's do it.
- I'm not a very good
guitar player,
but I know a few chords.
- Okay.
- Maybe you could show me
some chords, and maybe you could
teach me to play
one of your songs.
- Okay, cool.
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
Awesome.
Right on, man. You got it, Tom.
Awesome.
- Morning.
- Morning, guys.
Today,
Ray Robertson and friends
were up with their
chainsaw crew.
Thanks so much for coming today.
We're going to go
cut some trails.
There's this area that I walk
with Fanny back here,
and I can't get through there
because there's all these
sort of brush there,
so we kind of have
to go around it.
So if we could, like,
get to there.
Are you able to do brush
with these chainsaws or?
Smaller stuff can be
a little cumbersome.
Okay, well,
let's just go through.
We could just kind of walk.
Maybe you guys can follow me.
It's pretty wild back here.
Watch out for bears.
We'll have to watch out
for bears.
We're going to be forging
our way deeper
into the wilderness here.
This is this sort of ridge
that I want to try to be able
to go across. Just kind of
open up this section.
I just want to get this way,
you know?
And, uh, damn bugs.
I'll walk down here and see
where we're going from here.
We're just doing a big circle,
you know?
And we'll just go
until we lose our minds
or something like that. Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
Which is now.
Okay, alright, cool.
Yeah.
At this time of year,
it's very lush.
It's very wet.
Lots of leaves on the trees.
Lots of oxygen.
More oxygen in the forest now
than at any time of year.
Sometimes, I go back
at this time of year,
and I can hardly even recognize
where I am. I lose my way.
And so we're trying to make
the trails a little more obvious
for us. There's huge,
100-plus foot tall trees.
I'm too old to learn new things.
I know how to chainsaw
a little bit,
but I don't want to be
out in the deep bush.
Uh, what?
Anyway, the point is,
I'm the site supervisor.
This is awesome.
What kind of trees are in here?
Maple, pines, elms, spruce.
Easy to cut,
that kind of stuff?
Yeah, it's all easy to cut.
Nice little trail through
there now.
Howdy!
Here we go.
- How you doing, Jon?
- Pretty good.
- Good to see you.
- Yeah, always a pleasure.
Oh, yeah, bud.
The missus is having
a stitch and bitch,
so she said,
"I want you out of the house."
- Okay.
- Again.
She baked a pie, though.
- We got pie.
There you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you very much.
Wow. I love pie.
- Yeah. You want a beer?
- I love beer.
We're not allowed drinking
in the house anymore,
so great to be by.
- Oh.
Well, after the incident, right?
- The incident? Oh, yeah.
- Well, I told you
what happened, right?
- We won't talk about that.
Woke up three days ago,
can't remember the password
for my cellphone, so
Ugh. I've been trying
every combination.
Started with 1111, 1112, 1113,
1114, 1115.
Anyway, I'm up to like
5589, I think, but yeah.
Can't crank it yet, but
- Cheers.
- Here's to trying!
- Oh, my God.
For pie and combinations.
- Oh, my God.
- Good to see you there, bud.
It's great to see you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are thing going?
Oh, just doing some raking.
What's going on, then?
What's going on?
Well, I'll tell you what's not
going on, drinking at the house,
so that's why it's so great
to see you.
Oh, yeah.
Well, anytime you need to drink,
you can come over here.
I'm allowed to drink here
all the time. I just don't tell
anybody about it.
Yeah, no, I'll come by
all the time, then.
I can bring you stuff too, look.
The wife wants to me clear out
the house, so
Oh, my gosh,
what do we got here?
A pair of flannel shorts
that I got for Christmas.
Never worn them.
And a baseball glove.
Well, I have to evacuate
the basement, right,
because the lady's putting
the couch down there.
What's happening
over there now?
Oh, everything's fine.
You know, she just wants me
to clear out a few things.
Baseball glove
and some pink shorts, huh?
You can go ahead
and wear those anytime you like.
But, yeah, you know what?
I may have worn them
once or twice, but they
have been washed, so yeah.
- Alright, well, that is nice.
- Not sure if detergent's
a bother for you,
but we use Tide.
You wanna get rid of this,
you sure?
Yeah, if you want.
I gotta get rid of
that whole basement, so yeah.
- Okay.
These are memories of mine,
but she says
they've got to go at some point.
Oh, shit. Here she is here.
It's one thing,
I can answer it.
Can't get into it otherwise.
- Oh, yeah?
No.
Yeah, no. Just at Tom's now.
No, I thought you said
I could bring the pie.
Alright, well, welcome to
episode 4,695,
and look who's here,
Phil Giroux.
- It's nice to be here, Tom.
- Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
- Is it 4,600 and?
- 4,698 episodes.
- Wow, that's a lot.
- Of the Tom Green Show,
Webovision, other shows as well.
- Right, right, of course.
- Been doing this a long time.
- You have been, I know.
I've been through, you know,
pretty much all of that, so
You've been there
since the beginning.
Since the beginning.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We met when I was 14 years old
and you were 33.
- I was 33, yes.
And, um
No, I was 14, you were like 17
or something, right?
15 probably.
Really? You seemed much older
at the time.
Plus, you're French Canadian.
- Yeah, that adds another year.
You mature faster, for sure.
I was into some fine cheeses,
even at that age.
I remember the very first time
I ever had those little
- Creton? No.
- Creton.
Creton. You put it on bread.
Oh, it's delicious.
The pickled sort of
green things.
- Capers.
- Capers.
Capers, yes.
We'd been skateboarding
all day.
I'd never seen anything like it.
- Okay.
You went to the fridge,
and you took out the capers,
and you put a spoon in there,
and then you gave me a spoon.
Of capers.
- After a hard skate session?
You fed me some capers,
and I thought, man,
this guy is French Canadian.
- Is that what we did
after skating all day?
It's like, oh,
let's get some capers.
- That one time we did.
- Wow.
- How's everything?
- Good. I'm golfing a lot.
That's great,
but enough about golf.
UFOs, are they real?
Um, yeah, there's tons
of unidentified stuff out there
that's flying around.
Just advanced research stuff
that people think
it's alien, but it's not.
It's ours.
- Military sort of
- A lot of the stuff that
- Dark op sort of testing.
Most of it is that, for sure.
Russians, Chinese,
lots of countries
are up to some funky stuff.
You're suggesting
that foreign governments
are flying mysterious craft
along our borders
and over our land?
They've been doing this
nonstop for like half a century.
You're talking about
the flying saucers.
They're not saucers,
like in the sort of circular
Yeah, they are.
I've seen pictures of them.
Saucers, they're like saucers.
I mean pictures. I mean
So you don't even believe
those pictures are real?
The classic sort of saucer
that looks like the 1950s plate.
- Isn't there--
- With a little bubble
with the three windows
and the alien waving.
Yeah, and the alien has
a helmet with antennas on it.
And it was taken in the 80s
on Kodak film.
- Yeah.
- And yeah.
- Those ones.
- Those are not real.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
That's a nice Gibson. J45?
Yeah, so I can play
a G, and an A,
and an E minor, and an E,
and a D.
So I was thinking maybe
you could teach me
to accompany you
on one of your songs.
So you could teach me
some chords
that I know how to play,
and I could play along,
and then maybe you could sing.
Play your easiest song to play.
The easiest song.
I was driving home to visit
my folks from Ottawa.
I flew into Ottawa
from Nashville,
and I was driving up
to Pembroke,
and I had this title,
The Road That Raised You Up.
And I was thinking about,
you know,
all the places and the people
that kind of help you
along your way
and have been cheering you on
your whole career. And you might
relate to that too.
You know, and so
But I turned it into
the songwriter in me said,
don't make it about yourself.
Ask the question.
You know, so as soon
as I did that,
you make it, you know,
in country music
you're always writing, you know,
you're talking to the girls,
you're talking
to the female audience,
you know.
So I flipped it.
Imagine talking,
singing to my wife.
Tell me about where you're from.
Tell me about your hometown.
And this is super easy chords.
This is all wheelhouse for you.
This is G. It's like
And the questions are
Was it a red dirt road
or an old two lane? ♪
Did you leave one day
in a cloud of dust? ♪
And you go C.
Lay down some blacktop marks ♪
Break some hearts ♪
Tear 'em up? ♪
E minor.
What made you who you are? ♪
D.
That made me fall in love? ♪
Here comes a C.
Baby, take me down ♪
Cool.
Take me down the road ♪
That raised you up ♪
And goes to G.
- Okay, cool.
So, I can play along with that.
- Totally, right?
- I'll follow you.
- Okay.
I wanna know where
your hometown is ♪
Wanna go where you spent
those nights ♪
Cheering for the home team ♪
With your besties
under those Friday lights ♪
Wanna meet your mama
I wanna meet your dad ♪
Show me around your world
baby take me back ♪
Was it a red dirt road
or an old two lane? ♪
Did you leave one day
in a cloud of dust? ♪
Lay down some blacktop marks ♪
Break some hearts
tear 'em up? ♪
Yeah, you got it.
Yeah, baby, take me down ♪
Take me down the road
that raised you up ♪
Yeah, alright, second verse.
Where'd you learn
how to drive that truck? ♪
Where'd you get
that fire inside? ♪
Take me back all the way
to that place ♪
Before you were mine ♪
Where you spent
your Sundays, girl ♪
Where you got that heart ♪
Show me around your world ♪
Take me right back
to the start ♪
Was it a red dirt road
or an old two lane? ♪
Did you leave one day
in a cloud of dust? ♪
Lay down some blacktop marks ♪
Break some hearts
tear 'em up? ♪
What made you who you are
made me fall in love ♪
Baby, take me down ♪
Yeah, man.
Take me down the road
that raised you up ♪
You got it. And then
The road that raised you up ♪
Yeah. We'll hit that E minor
again right here.
Wanna meet your mama
I wanna meet your dad ♪
Show me around
your world baby ♪
Baby, take me back ♪
Was it a red dirt road
or an old two lane? ♪
Did you leave one day
in a cloud of dust? ♪
Lay down some blacktop marks ♪
Break some hearts
tear 'em up? ♪
What made you who you are
made me fall in love ♪
Baby, take me down ♪
Take me down the road
that raised you up ♪
Yeah.
- Wow.
Dude.
Yeah, you got it.
- That's cool. That's cool.
Yeah, very fun, very fun.
Meet my friends Brett and David
from Boho Vans,
who are retrofitting my van
with some really cool lights.
They started this
amazing company
when they went on Shark Tank,
and now they build out vans
and turn them into campers.
And I've known them for years,
and they've become real good
friends of mine,
and I'm happy to have them here
on the Tom Green Farm today.
So this is cool, man.
This is amazing.
Rossinante, my camper van
that I got from Boho, Boho Vans.
Very exciting.
We've added to it every year.
We've added some new
little bells and whistles
on this sucker.
During the worldwide
global pandemic,
I would take this van out
into the desert,
and just disappear into nature
for a few days at a time.
Somewhere along the way,
those trips completely
changed my perspective on life.
Spending time alone
in the desert
is what made me realize
I didn't want to live
in Los Angeles anymore.
I missed nature.
Eventually, all of that led me
home to Canada,
where I found this farm.
It's very otherworldly
when you're from rural Canada
to be out in the desert
of the southwestern
United States.
It feels like you're in
a Coyote Road Runner episode.
Last year, Amanda and I,
we decided to take the van
back down
to the American southwest.
I was out on a comedy tour,
and instead of flying
city to city, I drove myself
all over North America,
performing shows along the way.
How was your first night
in a van?
I slept like a baby.
You slept in a van
last night.
I slept like a baby
in a van last night
after eating freeze-dried
bagged food.
Heck yeah.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
How many years has Boho
been making vans now?
We started in '18.
So what, seven?
- Going on eight years.
Going on eight years.
That's amazing.
So you were on Shark Tank
in what year?
- 2020.
- 2020.
2020. So when did the word
"van life" become a word?
There's a blog about
the original dude
that started it.
I think the Wikipedia
is something like 2015.
Right, so right before
you guys started.
Some of my favourite
places were Chaco Canyon.
We're in Navajo Nation.
So incredibly beautiful
out here.
We're going to try to
continue now,
and hopefully not get stuck.
If you don't hear from us,
we're out here.
Good news is we have
lots of Mr. Noodles
and oil in the bag,
scrambled eggs,
as well as water.
So we should be alright.
Pre-Pueblo civilizations,
the ancient ones,
they were called.
And these buildings
are still there
that are essentially
like Machu Picchu.
Pretty nice, huh?
- Incredible.
People don't even realize
it's there,
and it's just
an amazing experience.
So that would have been
a floor?
Yeah, I think so.
What about Antarctica?
- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- What's down there?
There's a lot of scientific
research outposts there.
Why is there a treaty
amongst all nations
that nobody can go
own Antarctica?
When has everybody in the planet
agreed on anything
except for that?
- Lots of times--
- Why doesn't America
or Russia or China
go down and put, you know,
a military base down there?
- They all do.
I don't know if China does,
but there's a ton of countries
that have a slice of Antarctica
and they claim as theirs.
Are they actually
shaped triangularly?
- Yes.
- Like pizza slices?
- Yes. They literally are, yes.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Like divided up
like a delicious pie?
- Absolutely, yeah.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Why is 90% of the Grand Canyon
off limits?
I mean, it's designated a--
Is it because there's
archeological ruins in there?
I heard there was a pyramid
and a sphinx in there.
- There could be.
- With Egyptian hieroglyphics
on there.
- I think there are
That would disprove
our understanding of what
I think there could be.
You know,
I flew in the canyon once.
I took off from Vegas
with a plane,
and I flew like,
just right above,
like right in the canyon.
- Really?
Were you flying it
yourself or?
No, I could've,
but it was a prop plane.
You took off from Vegas
in a prop plane
and flew under the rim
of the Grand Canyon?
Yeah, you're not allowed
to do that anymore,
but you could back
in the day.
- How fucking long ago was that?
- Back in the day,
the snowbirds would just
fly in there.
- The snowbirds?
- Yeah.
The Canadian trick
fighter jet squadron
would go down
to the Grand Canyon?
- Yes.
- The hell were they
doing down there?
- They were doing some shows.
Okay.
Not in the Grand Canyon,
but they would take off
from Vegas,
they would fly around,
and a lot of planes would fly,
but you're not allowed
to do that anymore.
What kind of plane
is a snowbird anyways?
Oh, my God, I don't think
we should be using them
for aerobatics.
Like, those are old planes.
The cars driving in Cuba
that are held with duct tape
and like popsicle sticks
because they're so old
Yeah, I know
what you're talking about.
Those planes are older
than those cars.
It's kind of like
a third-grade conversation, huh?
Wow, that rain is coming down.
Yeah, people have written
songs about rain. Now I get it.
Did you start doing comedy
at Yuk Yuk's?
My very first time on stage
was not in Yuk Yuk's in Ottawa.
I was intimidated to
go to Yuk Yuk's
to try doing some comedy,
but I had gone
to Algonquin College,
TV broadcasting program,
surrounded myself
with creative people,
and then I suddenly thought
I might be funny.
- Yeah.
- It was at a club
called Goodfellas. One night,
I went in on a Thursday,
and he said,
"We need to get you"
He says, "I need you to go
on stage tonight."
I said, "What do you mean?
I've never done comedy."
He goes,
"Yeah, our emcee bailed.
I need you to go on." He mistook
my eagerness for talent.
And I thought, well,
I should do it.
This is probably how
Jim Carrey started, right?
Like why give up an opportunity?
- Sure.
- It was the worst.
- Oh, really?
Well, you did no preparation.
But he saw some
sort of spark, right?
He was right in that?
He was correct in that?
'Cause you've gone on to have
a long career in show business.
I took another year off
and then went to Yuk Yuk's
and really prepared myself
and it worked out a
little bit better, yeah.
You went to Algonquin College,
I went to Algonquin College.
- Yeah.
- You worked at Rogers
Community 22 doing a show,
I worked at Rogers Community 22
doing my show.
- Yeah.
- And then it led to Hollywood.
- Comedy Network.
- Show business. Comedy Network,
of course.
Was where I went
before I went to MTV.
- Yeah.
Isn't that interesting?
And it's like
Did you on Conan
dressed as a horse?
Well, a centaur, yeah.
- A centaur, that's right, yeah.
- Jon Dore!
Today we had a dress rehearsal
and it went a little late,
and I did not
have time to change.
Getting in and out of that Uber
was a nightmare,
I'll tell you that much.
You think that was
sort of a
somewhat influenced by
The Mighty Hercules,
the CBC, BBC co-production
that we grew up watching here
in Canada?
Well, it absolutely was,
yeah, yeah.
Hey, Herc!
Hey, Herc!
- Yeah.
- It's the Clovis Creature!
Conan was doing a show
from New York at the Apollo,
and I thought it would be funny
if I was late to the show
because my rehearsal
for Hercules, the musical,
ran late. That was the premise.
What do you think
gave you the confidence
to suggest that?
Well, I thought
it would be funny.
- Yeah.
- I mean, I don't know,
is that confidence?
I just think it's funny.
- Yeah.
- I guess confidence has to be
part of, "I think this is funny
in a scene
in front of a group of people."
- Yeah,
because it's an out-of-the-box
idea.
When I got an opportunity
to do those shows,
I always thought,
I want to do something crazy
like Chris Elliott
when he went on Letterman.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So I'd always come up with
some elaborate stunt
or whatever.
I kind of regret it, actually.
- You do?
In what way?
Well, sometimes I think--
I'm not saying you should,
in your case it was great.
- No, but I do as well,
but I don't regret dressing
as a centaur.
I regret that it didn't work out
the way I wanted it to,
but I'm curious to know why
Because, look, you're a mystery,
I think, to a lot of people.
I'm curious to know
I mean, I don't really want
to make
this interview about me, so
I mean, I just put out
a documentary
on another network.
You can go watch that.
Let's talk about you. Uh
Well, one quick question.
One quick question.
Why do you regret it?
- Because, you know,
I did all sorts of crazy stuff
on the show.
- Yeah.
- And then I think people
sort of thoughts that maybe
I was nuts, right?
But I don't think I'm nuts,
I'm not nuts.
So then I would go
on the talk show to talk about
the show,
and I would also be nuts.
And sometimes I kind of think
that if I'd just gone
on the talk show
and looked normal
and talked about the show
- No, no, no, no.
- Maybe people wouldn't think
I would be nuts, and then,
I don't know.
It was fine.
Everything worked out fine.
I'm happy.
Yeah, you fucking
better be happy.
Look what you have, this is
a wonderful life you're living.
I love it here. I'm so happy
I'm back in Canada.
And I love it.
- Yes.
So, everything's great.
I'm doing fine.
I see why you don't wanna
talk about you.
Just wrote this.
I don't need to look
any further ♪
Now that I've found you ♪
Thought it was impossible ♪
How you doing?
- Hey.
- Wanna hear this song?
- Yeah.
Okay, wait, stand right there
by the camera. Yeah.
I wrote a song
while you were gone. Okay?
Okay. I'm excited.
You went over there
for a little bit,
and then I wrote a song for you.
- For me?
A song for you, yeah.
I don't need to look
any further ♪
Now that I've found you ♪
Thought it was impossible
to love somebody ♪
The way that I love you ♪
You came along just in time ♪
Is the right time now? ♪
Baby.
God, it's such a good
such a good
It's a good song too.
- Baby!
- Yeah, I actually, you know
I get emotional.
When I wrote this song,
I got very emotional,
'cause it's
I wrote it for you, baby.
But I have not been able to sing
the song straight through yet.
So, I'm gonna take
another crack.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry about that.
Sorry for
being a wuss.
- No, it's cute.
I'm sorry for being a wuss.
I got it this time.
Gonna walk up to the top
of this trail.
Wow.
That is amazing.
It was about
three and a half years ago
that I was last here.
And, uh,
I just wanted to bring
Amanda here.
One of my favourite places
on this planet.
Wow.
It's all about this.
This is the cherry on top.
It doesn't feel real. Like
Where are we going now?
I got a rowboat ♪
And that's all I need ♪
So here it is,
I brought it up from the lake.
- Oh, good idea.
- It looks pretty good, huh?
- Yeah, it looks great.
- A lovely boat, jeez.
Well, want to take it out
in the pond?
- I do.
- I'll go get the oars.
- Go to the oar house.
- Stop it.
Here we go.
- The water's really warm.
- Nice, right?
Yeah, it's nice.
I wanted to put
this boat out here.
Oh, I know,
it just looks nice.
- And look, I can do this.
- You can.
- I can sit like this too.
- Or you can sit here
and just
Yeah, I can still row
like this.
- Yeah, you can.
- This is actually working.
Yeah, of course it is.
It glides along pretty nicely.
- Haven't rowed in a while.
- I can see that.
What do you mean?
You have a tree growing out
of your raft.
Do you want to pick
the tree off?
Yeah, there's several of them, actually.
No, Mom, you're not
in the middle of the boat.
Get in the middle of the boat.
- Tom, I know how to--
- Mom, the whole boat's tipping.
- get the Styrofoam.
Oh, Charley, no, no.
Pass me the knife.
Probably don't need a knife.
I mean, I think we need a knife.
Here.
Okay.
Cut away from you.
Charley! There you go.
Jump! Jump in.
There you go. Good girl.
Got a little rainy.
That was fun, huh?
- That was lots of fun.
I'm glad you brought
the rowboat here.
We did it.
Cuckoo, goes the cuckoo bird ♪
Cuckoo ♪
You were one
of the original hackers.
I don't know about original.
I mean, there was a lot
before me,
but it's certainly something
that I was into when I was--
Didn't you hack into
your high school's database?
- I mean
- Didn't you hack into
the Sears computer
and steal a
- Look, I mean
- Didn't you get a free canoe
or something like that?
- Unrelated to the canoe, uh
You did get a free canoe,
though, didn't you?
Yeah, but not nothing to do
with computers, no.
Oh, nothing to do
with computers?
No, no, no. That was
that was yeah.
- You wrote a book once, though.
- I did, you were in it.
A cyber security book.
Yeah, I mean,
you kind of like
I did the illustrations
for it.
Co-wrote it.
I did the illustrations
for it.
That's right,
lots of illustrations.
It was The Black Book
on Hacking.
- Yeah.
- How many copies
did you sell of that?
You don't have to say.
- Yeah.
- Millions?
No, not millions,
but I sold a lot of them.
Hundreds of thousands
of copies, probably, right?
- No, no, but
- Didn't you make them yourself?
Like, you photocopied them
and bound them together
yourself?
Yeah.
Do you wanna speak
French with me for a moment?
Okay, I mean, sure.
It's an opportunity
for me to practise my French.
- Yeah.
- Cause you're a Francophone.
Your French is really good, Tom.
My French is kinda whatever.
Your French is really good.
- Yeah? Very good?
- Very good.
But my vocabulary is whatever.
I told you earlier: your French
is better than 75 % of
Canadians.
- 75 per cent
- Per cent.
"Miur", is that
better?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- "Miur"?
- Yeah. Mieux.
Mieux.
- Mieux.
Yeah, better.
My French is mieux
than
Mieux. M-I-E-U-X,
is better.
- Better. Better.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Me talk French better
than most people.
Yes, that's right.
That's right.
Okay, Kelowna,
get on your feet for your host!
This guy has done it all!
Please welcome,
comedian, director,
late-night host, and musician,
the one, the only,
Mr. Tom Green!
We're full of surprises
here at the CCMA Awards.
And, uh
I would like to actually
just get serious for a second.
I love this country.
I love Canada so much.
And, uh
I met a nice Canadian girl,
and I'm actually getting married
next month, so
Yeah.
And my fiancée, Amanda,
is in the audience,
and she doesn't know this,
but I'm going to play
a song I wrote for her.
Aw!
Here.
I don't need to look
any further ♪
Now that I've found you ♪
I thought it was
impossible to love somebody ♪
The way that I love you ♪
You came along just in time ♪
Is the right time now
for me and you? ♪
Let's sail away
around the world ♪
And make all our dreams
come true ♪
And every single day ♪
I thank the Lord for you ♪
And every single day ♪
'Til the day that I die ♪
I thank the Lord for you ♪
Love you, Amanda.
Is there something
about Ottawa
that allows people
to kind of have
this sort of out-of-the-box
sort of thinking?
Because I think there's been,
you know,
Dan Aykroyd's from Ottawa,
Jeremy Hotz is from Ottawa,
Norm Macdonald is from Ottawa.
All of us started
at this little club.
All of us are kind of weird.
I mean, I think
I'm kind of weird.
Is there an Ottawa style
of comedy?
No, I don't think so.
I mean, personally,
I don't think so. No.
Well, I think there's some
parallels between you
and Norm and Dan Aykroyd.
I used to think
that stand-up comedy
was a profession
that has nothing to do
with being yourself.
You'd go up there,
you'd be polished,
you'd be professional.
My first few years
of doing comedy in Ottawa,
I was not who I was.
It wasn't until I moved
to Toronto where I realized,
no, I should talk the way
I talk offstage, onstage.
I should behave a subversive way
I am offstage, onstage.
Ottawa was a nurturing
environment.
Like, I felt supported here,
and I felt like
I could go back.
I didn't feel intimidated.
If I started in Los Angeles,
forget it.
Did you go on Rogers
after Algonquin?
At Algonquin College.
And, uh, so you, of course,
were this headlight into
the future of possibilities.
You go to Rogers Cable,
and then you make a show,
and then it could lead
to another show.
Precisely.
So I pitched a show to them,
a late-night television show
for Ottawa.
And they didn't like it,
but they said, hey, listen,
"We have a show
where we're recasting the host"
and it was Rogers Television's
Daytime.
Daytime, yeah. You became
like a morning show host
for Public Access TV.
And then when I came to Ottawa
with Monica Lewinsky
That's right.
We came on Daytime
to make an announcement.
- Mm-hmm.
- The announcement was
that we were going to be
making another announcement
the next day on the roof
of the Little Beaver restaurant.
We can't really talk
about why we're here.
That's out of bounds?
We won't be able to answer
that question today.
We're going to answer that
question tomorrow
at Le Petit Castor restaurant.
But the goal was, and I'm
assuming this was the goal,
was to get the media
to chase you for a few days
before that announcement, right?
- Yeah.
And then all the international
media showed up
at the Little Beaver restaurant,
Le Petit Castor, actually.
- Amazing.
- And we went up on the roof
in the winter,
and we announced that Monica
was there to look for fabric
for her new handbag line.
People thought that we were
announcing that we were
getting married.
Yes, I think so. Yeah, yeah.
Speculation was that you
might be getting married.
How much do you know
about donkeys?
Is this your first donkey?
- I don't know much.
She's pretty nice,
but she can kick.
They can definitely kick.
No, she's not
she's never kicked
anyone on purpose.
Did you ever do any horse riding
or anything like that?
Yeah, of course.
Growing up where I did,
I grew up all around farms.
My parents didn't own a farm,
but I grew up riding horses,
and I know
not to get behind them,
that's for sure.
- Yeah, I'm not in complete
control here.
We'll bring her back
to the barn now.
I feel like we're testing
our luck here a little bit.
Oh, wait, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Come on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Ah. This show's been
brought to you by water.
That means we don't
have a sponsor.
Getting this van when I met
you guys during COVID,
and got this van
so I could leave the house,
that's sort of what led to me
moving here.
I may not have left Los Angeles.
It was what spawned
the idea of I want to live out
in nature, and decided
to sell my house in L.A.
and move home to Canada.
You're welcome that we bought
a farm with you in your mind.
I don't know how to put it.
- Thank you.
I mean, that idea spawned
because of all that adventure
that you had after you were able
to kind of just escape the city.
We didn't hear that from you
until today.
I mean, it was just sort of
the idea.
Like, oh, I don't want
to live in Los Angeles anymore.
I want to wake up in the morning
with a cup of coffee,
see the sun coming up
over the horizon.
We're at the edge
of a mountain on a cliff.
In the middle of nowhere.
Good morning,
the sun is rising,
and we're going to get ready.
We're going to hit the road
early this morning.
Wild horses.
Beautiful.
Everybody ready?
Here we go.
Five!
Four! Should I do a countdown?
Three, two, one!
Oh, shit!
- There you go.
Nice! Wow!
Hey, it's okay, Charley,
it's okay.
Wow, that's crazy.
You can just wander off
into the wilderness.
- Hey, they worked.
- Didn't doubt it for a second.
Wow, that's great.
That is awesome.
That is a lot of fun.
It's apocalyptic, right?
It just feels like
Yeah, let's not mess
with this guy,
'cause he's got the brightest
lights on the planet.
- What is this behind me?
- Yeah.
Always great having you here.
- Always great being here.
- Is there anything we missed?
Probably like
a lot of stuff, but
You're doing
stand-up comedy now.
I'm doing stand-up comedy,
yeah, yeah. Back into that.
It's a lot of fun, I love it.
You started doing
stand-up comedy
the same day as me.
Was it the late 80s?
- It was, yeah. It was.
- We went down to Yuk Yuk's
in Ottawa. Did stand-up comedy.
- Yeah.
And you're throwing yourself
into it more full-time
now that you've retired, or?
I mean,
I wouldn't say retired.
I mean, I'm taking a break.
Taking a break
from working in computers.
- For now.
- Because you were like
a computer programmer
or something, right?
A long time. I've been
in technology my whole life.
What have you been doing
for the last 50 years?
- Technology.
- Time slips by, huh?
It's all like still evolving.
All that stuff is getting
crazier and crazier.
- Artificial intelligence?
- Oh, it's huge.
I mean, if you ask me
what I've been doing
for the last 10 years,
it's that.
Yeah. What have you been
doing for the last 10 years?
Artificial intelligence.
That's what you said
you would say.
What d'you think
is gonna happen?
Is it going to kill us all?
Or do you think it could start
a war?
Like two countries could
start a war with each other.
They don't even start it,
the AI starts it?
Cyber warfare wars
are happening right now.
Like, there's been probably
100,000 of them
in the last hour.
What do you mean?
100,000 cyber warfare wars
in the last hour?
- Yeah, yeah.
- What do you mean?
- That's nonstop.
What would be something
specifically?
Well, like I said, there's
Like, they're not
shutting down the power grid.
They're not necessarily
shutting it down right now.
They're just testing
to see if they can.
They should probably get you
into this to try to stop it.
- I mean, look, I mean
- Maybe you could stop it.
I mean, there's a lot of
companies working on this shit.
This is like big time.
- Have you ever thought about
using your powers for good?
Let's go grab a beer.
Watch the sunset.
This has been a great show.
- Wicked, man. Alright, Tom.
Wicked. Awesome.
- Phil Giroux,
ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
We'll see you next time.
- Awesome. Yes.
- Thank you.
- Awesome, right on.
You did the Jon Dore show
on the Comedy Network?
- Yes.
- It was like sketch comedy,
in a sense.
Like, you wrote these sketches?
Interviews surrounded
by sketch-like moments,
but one narrative throughout.
So it was me
trying to change the world
or something about myself.
So my dumb, ignorant character
would take on problems
that are bigger than himself,
and through his ignorance,
interview real people, experts.
Um, let me give you an example.
In one episode, I tried to
rid the world of discrimination.
I tried to get into a club,
and women don't have to pay,
but men do,
because it's ladies' night,
and I scream discrimination.
So I learn early on
that heterosexual white men
are discriminated against.
And so I'm going to change
the world for the better.
- Yeah.
- I come to the realization
that in order to make
the world a better place
and end discrimination, um,
I have to create one gender
and race of person and,
then there will never be
any discrimination ever again.
When you do stand-up comedy
in the United States,
are you talking politics
now in your stand-up?
No. I think
it's a complicated time
to talk about politics.
I'm not interested,
to be honest with you.
Genuinely.
- Because you live
in the United States,
you live in Alaska now.
I live in Alaska.
I live in Juneau, Alaska. Yeah.
- What's that like?
- Juneau is a capital city.
It's very progressive. It is
you've got to fly in
or ferry in.
There are no roads out.
Uh, so you're very secluded,
but it's a safe, fun place.
It's good. Yeah.
Do I wanna move out of there?
Yes, but
Just because
you're far away from
Family, friends, Canada.
Yeah, the goal
is to get back to Canada.
Yeah. Are you on
the road a lot right now?
You're always travelling around,
doing shows.
Well, I'm not travelling
as much these days.
I am the primary caregiver
to my son, Jackson,
and my stepdaughter, Emma.
Emma has, of course,
been made famous
on your Instagram.
Emma is
I'm very lucky to know Emma.
She's made me a better person.
And yeah,
she's an amazing human being.
Jackson is my three-year-old
son. He's fantastic.
But Christina, my partner,
travels for work
because she is an Indigenous
native Alaskan woman
from a tiny village
called Egegik, Alaska.
A beautiful Alutiiq woman.
And she goes off
to these places
to try and help marginalized
groups and communities
through the work that she does.
So she is often travelling.
So I've taken a back seat.
My career has taken a back seat.
And I have stayed home
with the children
to make sure that someone
can be with them.
- Oh, really? That's cool.
- That's true, that's the truth.
I'm barely
I'm barely on the road.
I still love it.
I love performing.
If I could teleport and perform,
and then get back home,
then life would be perfect.
That technology is not here yet,
Tom.
What's that?
I hear
somebody yelling.
You hear somebody yelling?
Well
make sure everyone's okay.
Oh, Amanda's locked
in the chicken coop.
Oh!
Tell her to pull the string
on it. There's a string.
Pull the string, Amanda!
And that's happened
to me before.
Um, maybe we should film this.
Are we still rolling?
Were you locked
in the chicken coop?
I was locked
in the chicken coop!
Hi, I'm Jon,
nice to meet you.
- I'm Amanda.
- Great to meet you. Yeah, yeah.
Sorry to hear that,
but you got a lot of eggs
while you were in there.
The chickens were in there,
one went to go,
I was like, "No!"
And then I was like,
"Oh, my God, there's no
handle inside of here!"
It's okay. Yeah, there is.
There is a handle, though.
There's a little string that
you can pull and it'll open.
- There wasn't!
- How long were you
in there, though?
Like trapped. Trapped.
I was stuck in there for like
half an hour
like, earlier this year.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You didn't even tell me.
- I thought I did.
- No.
I was embarrassed.
You guys have so many
new stories to share still.
It's beautiful.
That sure was a fun show
today, wasn't it, Charley?
Oh, it sure was.
Thanks for watching.
I'm glad you were here.
We'll see you next time.
Yeah. Yeah, wanna go outside?
Wanna go outside?
Okay, let's go.
Let's go, let's go.
Oh! There we go.
Sorry, just the headphones.
difuze
I'm Tom Green and,
this is The Tom Green Farm.
Jason Blaine is a Canadian
country star
who now makes his home
in Nashville,
but we always consider him
a good old Canadian country boy.
I'm trying my best at getting
a little bit better
at playing guitar,
but to be able to have
some of these great
Canadian artists come by
and play with me
is a lot of fun.
I'm a lucky guy.
Jon Dore has been on
Conan O'Brien,
he's been on all the talk shows,
he's performed
all over the world,
he's on Roast Battles ,
he lives in Alaska,
there's so much to talk about.
Jon Dore, one of the funniest
Canadians.
Always fun to get to hang
with Jon Dore.
Also today, I can't wait
for you to meet Brett and David
from Boho Vans.
They started this great company
and now they've been making
these vans for years
and they've become good friends
of mine,
and they came up to the farm
to help retrofit the van
with some new lights.
Today, on the show,
we're going to go back
to one of my earlier trips
where my now wife,
then fiancée Amanda and I
went down
to the American Southwest
and we explored some
Pueblo ruins
and some incredible vistas.
Phil Giroux is my oldest friend.
It's not that he's the oldest
friend that I have,
but I've known him longer
than most people.
But he is also old,
and so am I.
I had a show called
The Tom Green Show.
Phil Giroux would sit
in the background
drinking coffee,
pop by the farm,
and I can't wait for you
to see what he has to say.
Phil might be a little bit
of a conspiracy theorist.
I don't think he considers it
conspiracy,
because he thinks
it's the truth,
but you know, you'll have
to decide for yourself.
We had a great conversation
talking about everything
that you can imagine,
and stuff that you couldn't even
imagine as well. Thanks, Phil.
This is the Tom Green Farm ♪
It's not the Green Tom Farm ♪
This is my favourite farm
because it is my farm ♪
If this was your farm ♪
You'd probably like it more
than I did ♪
That's just because
it was your farm ♪
But it's not your farm,
it's The Tom Green Farm ♪
It's The Tom Green Farm ♪
- Hey!
- How are you, Jason?
- Mr. Tom Green, how are you?
- Good to see you, man.
Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thanks for coming.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Made it in from Pembroke, huh?
Absolutely, yeah.
This is the full real deal
farm operation.
- Yeah.
You got some chickens
in the background too, I hear.
- Yeah.
- This is great.
Guinea hens.
They eat all the ticks.
That's good, we've got our
fair share of ticks
down in Tennessee.
- Yeah, you're in Tennessee now?
- I am.
- That's amazing.
How's a guy from Pembroke,
Ontario, my hometown
I was born in Pembroke, Ontario.
But I know you kind of grew up
in Ottawa,
because we grew up
watching you on TV.
Yeah, well,
my dad was military,
so I was on Petawawa.
- Okay, yeah, sure.
We was living on the CFB
Petawawa base.
- Absolutely.
- When I was one
'til around six.
So I grew up listening
and loving country music
and kind of dreaming
about moving to Nashville.
And my wife and I,
we're both from Pembroke.
In the fall of '06, we packed up
a three-month-old baby girl
and moved to Nashville.
And that little girl is 19 now,
this summer.
You just started writing music
when you were a kid or?
I did, I did.
I started writing songs
when I was probably
15, 16 years old.
Your grandfather wrote one
of your songs?
I wrote the song
for my grandfather.
- Oh, okay.
- My grandfather, Harvey,
and his sweet wife,
my grandmother, Marilyn,
just lived such a country
love story.
You know, those grandpas,
those salt of the earth.
You know, I wear a brown
work shirt,
and I drive this truck,
and I drink this beer,
and it's just
it's just matter of fact.
So it made for a great
country song.
And that ended up winning me
my first country music award.
- It was about your grandfather.
- It was about my grandfather
and their love story.
And they flew out to the awards
and they were there
when I received my first
Canadian Country Music Award
in 2012.
Amazing. Well, I was thinking
maybe we could go
up in the loft of the barn
and you could show me
some guitar chords.
- Let's do it.
- I'm not a very good
guitar player,
but I know a few chords.
- Okay.
- Maybe you could show me
some chords, and maybe you could
teach me to play
one of your songs.
- Okay, cool.
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
Awesome.
Right on, man. You got it, Tom.
Awesome.
- Morning.
- Morning, guys.
Today,
Ray Robertson and friends
were up with their
chainsaw crew.
Thanks so much for coming today.
We're going to go
cut some trails.
There's this area that I walk
with Fanny back here,
and I can't get through there
because there's all these
sort of brush there,
so we kind of have
to go around it.
So if we could, like,
get to there.
Are you able to do brush
with these chainsaws or?
Smaller stuff can be
a little cumbersome.
Okay, well,
let's just go through.
We could just kind of walk.
Maybe you guys can follow me.
It's pretty wild back here.
Watch out for bears.
We'll have to watch out
for bears.
We're going to be forging
our way deeper
into the wilderness here.
This is this sort of ridge
that I want to try to be able
to go across. Just kind of
open up this section.
I just want to get this way,
you know?
And, uh, damn bugs.
I'll walk down here and see
where we're going from here.
We're just doing a big circle,
you know?
And we'll just go
until we lose our minds
or something like that. Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
Which is now.
Okay, alright, cool.
Yeah.
At this time of year,
it's very lush.
It's very wet.
Lots of leaves on the trees.
Lots of oxygen.
More oxygen in the forest now
than at any time of year.
Sometimes, I go back
at this time of year,
and I can hardly even recognize
where I am. I lose my way.
And so we're trying to make
the trails a little more obvious
for us. There's huge,
100-plus foot tall trees.
I'm too old to learn new things.
I know how to chainsaw
a little bit,
but I don't want to be
out in the deep bush.
Uh, what?
Anyway, the point is,
I'm the site supervisor.
This is awesome.
What kind of trees are in here?
Maple, pines, elms, spruce.
Easy to cut,
that kind of stuff?
Yeah, it's all easy to cut.
Nice little trail through
there now.
Howdy!
Here we go.
- How you doing, Jon?
- Pretty good.
- Good to see you.
- Yeah, always a pleasure.
Oh, yeah, bud.
The missus is having
a stitch and bitch,
so she said,
"I want you out of the house."
- Okay.
- Again.
She baked a pie, though.
- We got pie.
There you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you very much.
Wow. I love pie.
- Yeah. You want a beer?
- I love beer.
We're not allowed drinking
in the house anymore,
so great to be by.
- Oh.
Well, after the incident, right?
- The incident? Oh, yeah.
- Well, I told you
what happened, right?
- We won't talk about that.
Woke up three days ago,
can't remember the password
for my cellphone, so
Ugh. I've been trying
every combination.
Started with 1111, 1112, 1113,
1114, 1115.
Anyway, I'm up to like
5589, I think, but yeah.
Can't crank it yet, but
- Cheers.
- Here's to trying!
- Oh, my God.
For pie and combinations.
- Oh, my God.
- Good to see you there, bud.
It's great to see you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are thing going?
Oh, just doing some raking.
What's going on, then?
What's going on?
Well, I'll tell you what's not
going on, drinking at the house,
so that's why it's so great
to see you.
Oh, yeah.
Well, anytime you need to drink,
you can come over here.
I'm allowed to drink here
all the time. I just don't tell
anybody about it.
Yeah, no, I'll come by
all the time, then.
I can bring you stuff too, look.
The wife wants to me clear out
the house, so
Oh, my gosh,
what do we got here?
A pair of flannel shorts
that I got for Christmas.
Never worn them.
And a baseball glove.
Well, I have to evacuate
the basement, right,
because the lady's putting
the couch down there.
What's happening
over there now?
Oh, everything's fine.
You know, she just wants me
to clear out a few things.
Baseball glove
and some pink shorts, huh?
You can go ahead
and wear those anytime you like.
But, yeah, you know what?
I may have worn them
once or twice, but they
have been washed, so yeah.
- Alright, well, that is nice.
- Not sure if detergent's
a bother for you,
but we use Tide.
You wanna get rid of this,
you sure?
Yeah, if you want.
I gotta get rid of
that whole basement, so yeah.
- Okay.
These are memories of mine,
but she says
they've got to go at some point.
Oh, shit. Here she is here.
It's one thing,
I can answer it.
Can't get into it otherwise.
- Oh, yeah?
No.
Yeah, no. Just at Tom's now.
No, I thought you said
I could bring the pie.
Alright, well, welcome to
episode 4,695,
and look who's here,
Phil Giroux.
- It's nice to be here, Tom.
- Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
- Is it 4,600 and?
- 4,698 episodes.
- Wow, that's a lot.
- Of the Tom Green Show,
Webovision, other shows as well.
- Right, right, of course.
- Been doing this a long time.
- You have been, I know.
I've been through, you know,
pretty much all of that, so
You've been there
since the beginning.
Since the beginning.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We met when I was 14 years old
and you were 33.
- I was 33, yes.
And, um
No, I was 14, you were like 17
or something, right?
15 probably.
Really? You seemed much older
at the time.
Plus, you're French Canadian.
- Yeah, that adds another year.
You mature faster, for sure.
I was into some fine cheeses,
even at that age.
I remember the very first time
I ever had those little
- Creton? No.
- Creton.
Creton. You put it on bread.
Oh, it's delicious.
The pickled sort of
green things.
- Capers.
- Capers.
Capers, yes.
We'd been skateboarding
all day.
I'd never seen anything like it.
- Okay.
You went to the fridge,
and you took out the capers,
and you put a spoon in there,
and then you gave me a spoon.
Of capers.
- After a hard skate session?
You fed me some capers,
and I thought, man,
this guy is French Canadian.
- Is that what we did
after skating all day?
It's like, oh,
let's get some capers.
- That one time we did.
- Wow.
- How's everything?
- Good. I'm golfing a lot.
That's great,
but enough about golf.
UFOs, are they real?
Um, yeah, there's tons
of unidentified stuff out there
that's flying around.
Just advanced research stuff
that people think
it's alien, but it's not.
It's ours.
- Military sort of
- A lot of the stuff that
- Dark op sort of testing.
Most of it is that, for sure.
Russians, Chinese,
lots of countries
are up to some funky stuff.
You're suggesting
that foreign governments
are flying mysterious craft
along our borders
and over our land?
They've been doing this
nonstop for like half a century.
You're talking about
the flying saucers.
They're not saucers,
like in the sort of circular
Yeah, they are.
I've seen pictures of them.
Saucers, they're like saucers.
I mean pictures. I mean
So you don't even believe
those pictures are real?
The classic sort of saucer
that looks like the 1950s plate.
- Isn't there--
- With a little bubble
with the three windows
and the alien waving.
Yeah, and the alien has
a helmet with antennas on it.
And it was taken in the 80s
on Kodak film.
- Yeah.
- And yeah.
- Those ones.
- Those are not real.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
That's a nice Gibson. J45?
Yeah, so I can play
a G, and an A,
and an E minor, and an E,
and a D.
So I was thinking maybe
you could teach me
to accompany you
on one of your songs.
So you could teach me
some chords
that I know how to play,
and I could play along,
and then maybe you could sing.
Play your easiest song to play.
The easiest song.
I was driving home to visit
my folks from Ottawa.
I flew into Ottawa
from Nashville,
and I was driving up
to Pembroke,
and I had this title,
The Road That Raised You Up.
And I was thinking about,
you know,
all the places and the people
that kind of help you
along your way
and have been cheering you on
your whole career. And you might
relate to that too.
You know, and so
But I turned it into
the songwriter in me said,
don't make it about yourself.
Ask the question.
You know, so as soon
as I did that,
you make it, you know,
in country music
you're always writing, you know,
you're talking to the girls,
you're talking
to the female audience,
you know.
So I flipped it.
Imagine talking,
singing to my wife.
Tell me about where you're from.
Tell me about your hometown.
And this is super easy chords.
This is all wheelhouse for you.
This is G. It's like
And the questions are
Was it a red dirt road
or an old two lane? ♪
Did you leave one day
in a cloud of dust? ♪
And you go C.
Lay down some blacktop marks ♪
Break some hearts ♪
Tear 'em up? ♪
E minor.
What made you who you are? ♪
D.
That made me fall in love? ♪
Here comes a C.
Baby, take me down ♪
Cool.
Take me down the road ♪
That raised you up ♪
And goes to G.
- Okay, cool.
So, I can play along with that.
- Totally, right?
- I'll follow you.
- Okay.
I wanna know where
your hometown is ♪
Wanna go where you spent
those nights ♪
Cheering for the home team ♪
With your besties
under those Friday lights ♪
Wanna meet your mama
I wanna meet your dad ♪
Show me around your world
baby take me back ♪
Was it a red dirt road
or an old two lane? ♪
Did you leave one day
in a cloud of dust? ♪
Lay down some blacktop marks ♪
Break some hearts
tear 'em up? ♪
Yeah, you got it.
Yeah, baby, take me down ♪
Take me down the road
that raised you up ♪
Yeah, alright, second verse.
Where'd you learn
how to drive that truck? ♪
Where'd you get
that fire inside? ♪
Take me back all the way
to that place ♪
Before you were mine ♪
Where you spent
your Sundays, girl ♪
Where you got that heart ♪
Show me around your world ♪
Take me right back
to the start ♪
Was it a red dirt road
or an old two lane? ♪
Did you leave one day
in a cloud of dust? ♪
Lay down some blacktop marks ♪
Break some hearts
tear 'em up? ♪
What made you who you are
made me fall in love ♪
Baby, take me down ♪
Yeah, man.
Take me down the road
that raised you up ♪
You got it. And then
The road that raised you up ♪
Yeah. We'll hit that E minor
again right here.
Wanna meet your mama
I wanna meet your dad ♪
Show me around
your world baby ♪
Baby, take me back ♪
Was it a red dirt road
or an old two lane? ♪
Did you leave one day
in a cloud of dust? ♪
Lay down some blacktop marks ♪
Break some hearts
tear 'em up? ♪
What made you who you are
made me fall in love ♪
Baby, take me down ♪
Take me down the road
that raised you up ♪
Yeah.
- Wow.
Dude.
Yeah, you got it.
- That's cool. That's cool.
Yeah, very fun, very fun.
Meet my friends Brett and David
from Boho Vans,
who are retrofitting my van
with some really cool lights.
They started this
amazing company
when they went on Shark Tank,
and now they build out vans
and turn them into campers.
And I've known them for years,
and they've become real good
friends of mine,
and I'm happy to have them here
on the Tom Green Farm today.
So this is cool, man.
This is amazing.
Rossinante, my camper van
that I got from Boho, Boho Vans.
Very exciting.
We've added to it every year.
We've added some new
little bells and whistles
on this sucker.
During the worldwide
global pandemic,
I would take this van out
into the desert,
and just disappear into nature
for a few days at a time.
Somewhere along the way,
those trips completely
changed my perspective on life.
Spending time alone
in the desert
is what made me realize
I didn't want to live
in Los Angeles anymore.
I missed nature.
Eventually, all of that led me
home to Canada,
where I found this farm.
It's very otherworldly
when you're from rural Canada
to be out in the desert
of the southwestern
United States.
It feels like you're in
a Coyote Road Runner episode.
Last year, Amanda and I,
we decided to take the van
back down
to the American southwest.
I was out on a comedy tour,
and instead of flying
city to city, I drove myself
all over North America,
performing shows along the way.
How was your first night
in a van?
I slept like a baby.
You slept in a van
last night.
I slept like a baby
in a van last night
after eating freeze-dried
bagged food.
Heck yeah.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
How many years has Boho
been making vans now?
We started in '18.
So what, seven?
- Going on eight years.
Going on eight years.
That's amazing.
So you were on Shark Tank
in what year?
- 2020.
- 2020.
2020. So when did the word
"van life" become a word?
There's a blog about
the original dude
that started it.
I think the Wikipedia
is something like 2015.
Right, so right before
you guys started.
Some of my favourite
places were Chaco Canyon.
We're in Navajo Nation.
So incredibly beautiful
out here.
We're going to try to
continue now,
and hopefully not get stuck.
If you don't hear from us,
we're out here.
Good news is we have
lots of Mr. Noodles
and oil in the bag,
scrambled eggs,
as well as water.
So we should be alright.
Pre-Pueblo civilizations,
the ancient ones,
they were called.
And these buildings
are still there
that are essentially
like Machu Picchu.
Pretty nice, huh?
- Incredible.
People don't even realize
it's there,
and it's just
an amazing experience.
So that would have been
a floor?
Yeah, I think so.
What about Antarctica?
- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- What's down there?
There's a lot of scientific
research outposts there.
Why is there a treaty
amongst all nations
that nobody can go
own Antarctica?
When has everybody in the planet
agreed on anything
except for that?
- Lots of times--
- Why doesn't America
or Russia or China
go down and put, you know,
a military base down there?
- They all do.
I don't know if China does,
but there's a ton of countries
that have a slice of Antarctica
and they claim as theirs.
Are they actually
shaped triangularly?
- Yes.
- Like pizza slices?
- Yes. They literally are, yes.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Like divided up
like a delicious pie?
- Absolutely, yeah.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Why is 90% of the Grand Canyon
off limits?
I mean, it's designated a--
Is it because there's
archeological ruins in there?
I heard there was a pyramid
and a sphinx in there.
- There could be.
- With Egyptian hieroglyphics
on there.
- I think there are
That would disprove
our understanding of what
I think there could be.
You know,
I flew in the canyon once.
I took off from Vegas
with a plane,
and I flew like,
just right above,
like right in the canyon.
- Really?
Were you flying it
yourself or?
No, I could've,
but it was a prop plane.
You took off from Vegas
in a prop plane
and flew under the rim
of the Grand Canyon?
Yeah, you're not allowed
to do that anymore,
but you could back
in the day.
- How fucking long ago was that?
- Back in the day,
the snowbirds would just
fly in there.
- The snowbirds?
- Yeah.
The Canadian trick
fighter jet squadron
would go down
to the Grand Canyon?
- Yes.
- The hell were they
doing down there?
- They were doing some shows.
Okay.
Not in the Grand Canyon,
but they would take off
from Vegas,
they would fly around,
and a lot of planes would fly,
but you're not allowed
to do that anymore.
What kind of plane
is a snowbird anyways?
Oh, my God, I don't think
we should be using them
for aerobatics.
Like, those are old planes.
The cars driving in Cuba
that are held with duct tape
and like popsicle sticks
because they're so old
Yeah, I know
what you're talking about.
Those planes are older
than those cars.
It's kind of like
a third-grade conversation, huh?
Wow, that rain is coming down.
Yeah, people have written
songs about rain. Now I get it.
Did you start doing comedy
at Yuk Yuk's?
My very first time on stage
was not in Yuk Yuk's in Ottawa.
I was intimidated to
go to Yuk Yuk's
to try doing some comedy,
but I had gone
to Algonquin College,
TV broadcasting program,
surrounded myself
with creative people,
and then I suddenly thought
I might be funny.
- Yeah.
- It was at a club
called Goodfellas. One night,
I went in on a Thursday,
and he said,
"We need to get you"
He says, "I need you to go
on stage tonight."
I said, "What do you mean?
I've never done comedy."
He goes,
"Yeah, our emcee bailed.
I need you to go on." He mistook
my eagerness for talent.
And I thought, well,
I should do it.
This is probably how
Jim Carrey started, right?
Like why give up an opportunity?
- Sure.
- It was the worst.
- Oh, really?
Well, you did no preparation.
But he saw some
sort of spark, right?
He was right in that?
He was correct in that?
'Cause you've gone on to have
a long career in show business.
I took another year off
and then went to Yuk Yuk's
and really prepared myself
and it worked out a
little bit better, yeah.
You went to Algonquin College,
I went to Algonquin College.
- Yeah.
- You worked at Rogers
Community 22 doing a show,
I worked at Rogers Community 22
doing my show.
- Yeah.
- And then it led to Hollywood.
- Comedy Network.
- Show business. Comedy Network,
of course.
Was where I went
before I went to MTV.
- Yeah.
Isn't that interesting?
And it's like
Did you on Conan
dressed as a horse?
Well, a centaur, yeah.
- A centaur, that's right, yeah.
- Jon Dore!
Today we had a dress rehearsal
and it went a little late,
and I did not
have time to change.
Getting in and out of that Uber
was a nightmare,
I'll tell you that much.
You think that was
sort of a
somewhat influenced by
The Mighty Hercules,
the CBC, BBC co-production
that we grew up watching here
in Canada?
Well, it absolutely was,
yeah, yeah.
Hey, Herc!
Hey, Herc!
- Yeah.
- It's the Clovis Creature!
Conan was doing a show
from New York at the Apollo,
and I thought it would be funny
if I was late to the show
because my rehearsal
for Hercules, the musical,
ran late. That was the premise.
What do you think
gave you the confidence
to suggest that?
Well, I thought
it would be funny.
- Yeah.
- I mean, I don't know,
is that confidence?
I just think it's funny.
- Yeah.
- I guess confidence has to be
part of, "I think this is funny
in a scene
in front of a group of people."
- Yeah,
because it's an out-of-the-box
idea.
When I got an opportunity
to do those shows,
I always thought,
I want to do something crazy
like Chris Elliott
when he went on Letterman.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So I'd always come up with
some elaborate stunt
or whatever.
I kind of regret it, actually.
- You do?
In what way?
Well, sometimes I think--
I'm not saying you should,
in your case it was great.
- No, but I do as well,
but I don't regret dressing
as a centaur.
I regret that it didn't work out
the way I wanted it to,
but I'm curious to know why
Because, look, you're a mystery,
I think, to a lot of people.
I'm curious to know
I mean, I don't really want
to make
this interview about me, so
I mean, I just put out
a documentary
on another network.
You can go watch that.
Let's talk about you. Uh
Well, one quick question.
One quick question.
Why do you regret it?
- Because, you know,
I did all sorts of crazy stuff
on the show.
- Yeah.
- And then I think people
sort of thoughts that maybe
I was nuts, right?
But I don't think I'm nuts,
I'm not nuts.
So then I would go
on the talk show to talk about
the show,
and I would also be nuts.
And sometimes I kind of think
that if I'd just gone
on the talk show
and looked normal
and talked about the show
- No, no, no, no.
- Maybe people wouldn't think
I would be nuts, and then,
I don't know.
It was fine.
Everything worked out fine.
I'm happy.
Yeah, you fucking
better be happy.
Look what you have, this is
a wonderful life you're living.
I love it here. I'm so happy
I'm back in Canada.
And I love it.
- Yes.
So, everything's great.
I'm doing fine.
I see why you don't wanna
talk about you.
Just wrote this.
I don't need to look
any further ♪
Now that I've found you ♪
Thought it was impossible ♪
How you doing?
- Hey.
- Wanna hear this song?
- Yeah.
Okay, wait, stand right there
by the camera. Yeah.
I wrote a song
while you were gone. Okay?
Okay. I'm excited.
You went over there
for a little bit,
and then I wrote a song for you.
- For me?
A song for you, yeah.
I don't need to look
any further ♪
Now that I've found you ♪
Thought it was impossible
to love somebody ♪
The way that I love you ♪
You came along just in time ♪
Is the right time now? ♪
Baby.
God, it's such a good
such a good
It's a good song too.
- Baby!
- Yeah, I actually, you know
I get emotional.
When I wrote this song,
I got very emotional,
'cause it's
I wrote it for you, baby.
But I have not been able to sing
the song straight through yet.
So, I'm gonna take
another crack.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry about that.
Sorry for
being a wuss.
- No, it's cute.
I'm sorry for being a wuss.
I got it this time.
Gonna walk up to the top
of this trail.
Wow.
That is amazing.
It was about
three and a half years ago
that I was last here.
And, uh,
I just wanted to bring
Amanda here.
One of my favourite places
on this planet.
Wow.
It's all about this.
This is the cherry on top.
It doesn't feel real. Like
Where are we going now?
I got a rowboat ♪
And that's all I need ♪
So here it is,
I brought it up from the lake.
- Oh, good idea.
- It looks pretty good, huh?
- Yeah, it looks great.
- A lovely boat, jeez.
Well, want to take it out
in the pond?
- I do.
- I'll go get the oars.
- Go to the oar house.
- Stop it.
Here we go.
- The water's really warm.
- Nice, right?
Yeah, it's nice.
I wanted to put
this boat out here.
Oh, I know,
it just looks nice.
- And look, I can do this.
- You can.
- I can sit like this too.
- Or you can sit here
and just
Yeah, I can still row
like this.
- Yeah, you can.
- This is actually working.
Yeah, of course it is.
It glides along pretty nicely.
- Haven't rowed in a while.
- I can see that.
What do you mean?
You have a tree growing out
of your raft.
Do you want to pick
the tree off?
Yeah, there's several of them, actually.
No, Mom, you're not
in the middle of the boat.
Get in the middle of the boat.
- Tom, I know how to--
- Mom, the whole boat's tipping.
- get the Styrofoam.
Oh, Charley, no, no.
Pass me the knife.
Probably don't need a knife.
I mean, I think we need a knife.
Here.
Okay.
Cut away from you.
Charley! There you go.
Jump! Jump in.
There you go. Good girl.
Got a little rainy.
That was fun, huh?
- That was lots of fun.
I'm glad you brought
the rowboat here.
We did it.
Cuckoo, goes the cuckoo bird ♪
Cuckoo ♪
You were one
of the original hackers.
I don't know about original.
I mean, there was a lot
before me,
but it's certainly something
that I was into when I was--
Didn't you hack into
your high school's database?
- I mean
- Didn't you hack into
the Sears computer
and steal a
- Look, I mean
- Didn't you get a free canoe
or something like that?
- Unrelated to the canoe, uh
You did get a free canoe,
though, didn't you?
Yeah, but not nothing to do
with computers, no.
Oh, nothing to do
with computers?
No, no, no. That was
that was yeah.
- You wrote a book once, though.
- I did, you were in it.
A cyber security book.
Yeah, I mean,
you kind of like
I did the illustrations
for it.
Co-wrote it.
I did the illustrations
for it.
That's right,
lots of illustrations.
It was The Black Book
on Hacking.
- Yeah.
- How many copies
did you sell of that?
You don't have to say.
- Yeah.
- Millions?
No, not millions,
but I sold a lot of them.
Hundreds of thousands
of copies, probably, right?
- No, no, but
- Didn't you make them yourself?
Like, you photocopied them
and bound them together
yourself?
Yeah.
Do you wanna speak
French with me for a moment?
Okay, I mean, sure.
It's an opportunity
for me to practise my French.
- Yeah.
- Cause you're a Francophone.
Your French is really good, Tom.
My French is kinda whatever.
Your French is really good.
- Yeah? Very good?
- Very good.
But my vocabulary is whatever.
I told you earlier: your French
is better than 75 % of
Canadians.
- 75 per cent
- Per cent.
"Miur", is that
better?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- "Miur"?
- Yeah. Mieux.
Mieux.
- Mieux.
Yeah, better.
My French is mieux
than
Mieux. M-I-E-U-X,
is better.
- Better. Better.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Me talk French better
than most people.
Yes, that's right.
That's right.
Okay, Kelowna,
get on your feet for your host!
This guy has done it all!
Please welcome,
comedian, director,
late-night host, and musician,
the one, the only,
Mr. Tom Green!
We're full of surprises
here at the CCMA Awards.
And, uh
I would like to actually
just get serious for a second.
I love this country.
I love Canada so much.
And, uh
I met a nice Canadian girl,
and I'm actually getting married
next month, so
Yeah.
And my fiancée, Amanda,
is in the audience,
and she doesn't know this,
but I'm going to play
a song I wrote for her.
Aw!
Here.
I don't need to look
any further ♪
Now that I've found you ♪
I thought it was
impossible to love somebody ♪
The way that I love you ♪
You came along just in time ♪
Is the right time now
for me and you? ♪
Let's sail away
around the world ♪
And make all our dreams
come true ♪
And every single day ♪
I thank the Lord for you ♪
And every single day ♪
'Til the day that I die ♪
I thank the Lord for you ♪
Love you, Amanda.
Is there something
about Ottawa
that allows people
to kind of have
this sort of out-of-the-box
sort of thinking?
Because I think there's been,
you know,
Dan Aykroyd's from Ottawa,
Jeremy Hotz is from Ottawa,
Norm Macdonald is from Ottawa.
All of us started
at this little club.
All of us are kind of weird.
I mean, I think
I'm kind of weird.
Is there an Ottawa style
of comedy?
No, I don't think so.
I mean, personally,
I don't think so. No.
Well, I think there's some
parallels between you
and Norm and Dan Aykroyd.
I used to think
that stand-up comedy
was a profession
that has nothing to do
with being yourself.
You'd go up there,
you'd be polished,
you'd be professional.
My first few years
of doing comedy in Ottawa,
I was not who I was.
It wasn't until I moved
to Toronto where I realized,
no, I should talk the way
I talk offstage, onstage.
I should behave a subversive way
I am offstage, onstage.
Ottawa was a nurturing
environment.
Like, I felt supported here,
and I felt like
I could go back.
I didn't feel intimidated.
If I started in Los Angeles,
forget it.
Did you go on Rogers
after Algonquin?
At Algonquin College.
And, uh, so you, of course,
were this headlight into
the future of possibilities.
You go to Rogers Cable,
and then you make a show,
and then it could lead
to another show.
Precisely.
So I pitched a show to them,
a late-night television show
for Ottawa.
And they didn't like it,
but they said, hey, listen,
"We have a show
where we're recasting the host"
and it was Rogers Television's
Daytime.
Daytime, yeah. You became
like a morning show host
for Public Access TV.
And then when I came to Ottawa
with Monica Lewinsky
That's right.
We came on Daytime
to make an announcement.
- Mm-hmm.
- The announcement was
that we were going to be
making another announcement
the next day on the roof
of the Little Beaver restaurant.
We can't really talk
about why we're here.
That's out of bounds?
We won't be able to answer
that question today.
We're going to answer that
question tomorrow
at Le Petit Castor restaurant.
But the goal was, and I'm
assuming this was the goal,
was to get the media
to chase you for a few days
before that announcement, right?
- Yeah.
And then all the international
media showed up
at the Little Beaver restaurant,
Le Petit Castor, actually.
- Amazing.
- And we went up on the roof
in the winter,
and we announced that Monica
was there to look for fabric
for her new handbag line.
People thought that we were
announcing that we were
getting married.
Yes, I think so. Yeah, yeah.
Speculation was that you
might be getting married.
How much do you know
about donkeys?
Is this your first donkey?
- I don't know much.
She's pretty nice,
but she can kick.
They can definitely kick.
No, she's not
she's never kicked
anyone on purpose.
Did you ever do any horse riding
or anything like that?
Yeah, of course.
Growing up where I did,
I grew up all around farms.
My parents didn't own a farm,
but I grew up riding horses,
and I know
not to get behind them,
that's for sure.
- Yeah, I'm not in complete
control here.
We'll bring her back
to the barn now.
I feel like we're testing
our luck here a little bit.
Oh, wait, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Come on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Ah. This show's been
brought to you by water.
That means we don't
have a sponsor.
Getting this van when I met
you guys during COVID,
and got this van
so I could leave the house,
that's sort of what led to me
moving here.
I may not have left Los Angeles.
It was what spawned
the idea of I want to live out
in nature, and decided
to sell my house in L.A.
and move home to Canada.
You're welcome that we bought
a farm with you in your mind.
I don't know how to put it.
- Thank you.
I mean, that idea spawned
because of all that adventure
that you had after you were able
to kind of just escape the city.
We didn't hear that from you
until today.
I mean, it was just sort of
the idea.
Like, oh, I don't want
to live in Los Angeles anymore.
I want to wake up in the morning
with a cup of coffee,
see the sun coming up
over the horizon.
We're at the edge
of a mountain on a cliff.
In the middle of nowhere.
Good morning,
the sun is rising,
and we're going to get ready.
We're going to hit the road
early this morning.
Wild horses.
Beautiful.
Everybody ready?
Here we go.
Five!
Four! Should I do a countdown?
Three, two, one!
Oh, shit!
- There you go.
Nice! Wow!
Hey, it's okay, Charley,
it's okay.
Wow, that's crazy.
You can just wander off
into the wilderness.
- Hey, they worked.
- Didn't doubt it for a second.
Wow, that's great.
That is awesome.
That is a lot of fun.
It's apocalyptic, right?
It just feels like
Yeah, let's not mess
with this guy,
'cause he's got the brightest
lights on the planet.
- What is this behind me?
- Yeah.
Always great having you here.
- Always great being here.
- Is there anything we missed?
Probably like
a lot of stuff, but
You're doing
stand-up comedy now.
I'm doing stand-up comedy,
yeah, yeah. Back into that.
It's a lot of fun, I love it.
You started doing
stand-up comedy
the same day as me.
Was it the late 80s?
- It was, yeah. It was.
- We went down to Yuk Yuk's
in Ottawa. Did stand-up comedy.
- Yeah.
And you're throwing yourself
into it more full-time
now that you've retired, or?
I mean,
I wouldn't say retired.
I mean, I'm taking a break.
Taking a break
from working in computers.
- For now.
- Because you were like
a computer programmer
or something, right?
A long time. I've been
in technology my whole life.
What have you been doing
for the last 50 years?
- Technology.
- Time slips by, huh?
It's all like still evolving.
All that stuff is getting
crazier and crazier.
- Artificial intelligence?
- Oh, it's huge.
I mean, if you ask me
what I've been doing
for the last 10 years,
it's that.
Yeah. What have you been
doing for the last 10 years?
Artificial intelligence.
That's what you said
you would say.
What d'you think
is gonna happen?
Is it going to kill us all?
Or do you think it could start
a war?
Like two countries could
start a war with each other.
They don't even start it,
the AI starts it?
Cyber warfare wars
are happening right now.
Like, there's been probably
100,000 of them
in the last hour.
What do you mean?
100,000 cyber warfare wars
in the last hour?
- Yeah, yeah.
- What do you mean?
- That's nonstop.
What would be something
specifically?
Well, like I said, there's
Like, they're not
shutting down the power grid.
They're not necessarily
shutting it down right now.
They're just testing
to see if they can.
They should probably get you
into this to try to stop it.
- I mean, look, I mean
- Maybe you could stop it.
I mean, there's a lot of
companies working on this shit.
This is like big time.
- Have you ever thought about
using your powers for good?
Let's go grab a beer.
Watch the sunset.
This has been a great show.
- Wicked, man. Alright, Tom.
Wicked. Awesome.
- Phil Giroux,
ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
We'll see you next time.
- Awesome. Yes.
- Thank you.
- Awesome, right on.
You did the Jon Dore show
on the Comedy Network?
- Yes.
- It was like sketch comedy,
in a sense.
Like, you wrote these sketches?
Interviews surrounded
by sketch-like moments,
but one narrative throughout.
So it was me
trying to change the world
or something about myself.
So my dumb, ignorant character
would take on problems
that are bigger than himself,
and through his ignorance,
interview real people, experts.
Um, let me give you an example.
In one episode, I tried to
rid the world of discrimination.
I tried to get into a club,
and women don't have to pay,
but men do,
because it's ladies' night,
and I scream discrimination.
So I learn early on
that heterosexual white men
are discriminated against.
And so I'm going to change
the world for the better.
- Yeah.
- I come to the realization
that in order to make
the world a better place
and end discrimination, um,
I have to create one gender
and race of person and,
then there will never be
any discrimination ever again.
When you do stand-up comedy
in the United States,
are you talking politics
now in your stand-up?
No. I think
it's a complicated time
to talk about politics.
I'm not interested,
to be honest with you.
Genuinely.
- Because you live
in the United States,
you live in Alaska now.
I live in Alaska.
I live in Juneau, Alaska. Yeah.
- What's that like?
- Juneau is a capital city.
It's very progressive. It is
you've got to fly in
or ferry in.
There are no roads out.
Uh, so you're very secluded,
but it's a safe, fun place.
It's good. Yeah.
Do I wanna move out of there?
Yes, but
Just because
you're far away from
Family, friends, Canada.
Yeah, the goal
is to get back to Canada.
Yeah. Are you on
the road a lot right now?
You're always travelling around,
doing shows.
Well, I'm not travelling
as much these days.
I am the primary caregiver
to my son, Jackson,
and my stepdaughter, Emma.
Emma has, of course,
been made famous
on your Instagram.
Emma is
I'm very lucky to know Emma.
She's made me a better person.
And yeah,
she's an amazing human being.
Jackson is my three-year-old
son. He's fantastic.
But Christina, my partner,
travels for work
because she is an Indigenous
native Alaskan woman
from a tiny village
called Egegik, Alaska.
A beautiful Alutiiq woman.
And she goes off
to these places
to try and help marginalized
groups and communities
through the work that she does.
So she is often travelling.
So I've taken a back seat.
My career has taken a back seat.
And I have stayed home
with the children
to make sure that someone
can be with them.
- Oh, really? That's cool.
- That's true, that's the truth.
I'm barely
I'm barely on the road.
I still love it.
I love performing.
If I could teleport and perform,
and then get back home,
then life would be perfect.
That technology is not here yet,
Tom.
What's that?
I hear
somebody yelling.
You hear somebody yelling?
Well
make sure everyone's okay.
Oh, Amanda's locked
in the chicken coop.
Oh!
Tell her to pull the string
on it. There's a string.
Pull the string, Amanda!
And that's happened
to me before.
Um, maybe we should film this.
Are we still rolling?
Were you locked
in the chicken coop?
I was locked
in the chicken coop!
Hi, I'm Jon,
nice to meet you.
- I'm Amanda.
- Great to meet you. Yeah, yeah.
Sorry to hear that,
but you got a lot of eggs
while you were in there.
The chickens were in there,
one went to go,
I was like, "No!"
And then I was like,
"Oh, my God, there's no
handle inside of here!"
It's okay. Yeah, there is.
There is a handle, though.
There's a little string that
you can pull and it'll open.
- There wasn't!
- How long were you
in there, though?
Like trapped. Trapped.
I was stuck in there for like
half an hour
like, earlier this year.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You didn't even tell me.
- I thought I did.
- No.
I was embarrassed.
You guys have so many
new stories to share still.
It's beautiful.
That sure was a fun show
today, wasn't it, Charley?
Oh, it sure was.
Thanks for watching.
I'm glad you were here.
We'll see you next time.
Yeah. Yeah, wanna go outside?
Wanna go outside?
Okay, let's go.
Let's go, let's go.
Oh! There we go.
Sorry, just the headphones.
difuze