Brothers (2026) s01e08 Episode Script

1
[percussive music playing]
[Fallon] Matthew McConaughey,
Woody Harrelson. You saw it, right? No--
Has everybody seen the punch?
[person] Oh, my God.
Just a good old-fashioned
clock to the face.
McConaughey was not fucking around.
Walk us through what we're seeing here.
Very subtle traces of aggression.
Good morning, Australia.
How about some
Hollywood punch for brekkie?
[in Georgian] American actor Matthew
McConaughey punched Ed Harris in the face.
[in English] And would you believe
it gets even weirder
than one movie star punching
his friend/brother/fellow movie star
- in front of Dax Shepard?
- Oh, wow.
No one's heard from McConaughey
since it happened.
[crowd clamoring]
He's a white male.
Uh, Oscar winner, 6 foot tall
Well, he looks a lot taller in person
'cause of vibes and energy
and stuff like that. Um
Here is what he looks like
when he's going for a western aesthetic.
And, uh, this is what he looks like
on a cozy Sunday afternoon.
And, oh, yeah, well, okay,
so there's now a slight chance that
he might look something like this.
Dad, if you're out there, come home.
[phone buzzing]
[buzzing continues]
[buzzing continues]
["Give A Little Bit" playing]
[line ringing]
[Val] Come on.
- The voicemail inbox--
- [groans] He's still not answering.
I've called his agent.
I've called his manager.
If we don't find him soon,
he'll miss the rally.
- What's happening?
- Oh.
- Oh, babe, your eye is worse.
- [Gwen] Can everyone just focus up?
I can spin a punch.
I can even spin
the incest cousins over here.
- We're not cousins.
- I'm adopted.
But I cannot spin a candidate
ghosting his own campaign rally.
My priority is keeping this campaign
from falling apart before it even begins.
There is a rally this afternoon.
We all need to focus on making sure
that Matthew is on that stage.
Especially you.
You need to put some shoes on
those filthy, little hobbit feet,
and go find Matthew and apologize to him,
and bring him back here to me.
Does that sound doable?
Apologize for getting sucker punched?
Unlikely.
For weeks,
I have been protecting his feelings,
looking after him
like I've done our entire friendship.
I-If anybody should be apologizing
around here, it's her.
She's kept this secret
for 50 fucking years.
[Val] Ma Mac, come on.
You must have something to say about this.
Nope. I'ma make some chili.
I know that this is all very personal,
but it might help
to just share your feelings.
I said
I'ma make some chili.
- Okay.
- [Jimmy] Hey!
- Damn paparazzi.
- [shutter clicking]
You, parasite!
[grunts]
I will end you, man.
I have very little to live for.
I don't wanna escalate this, but I will.
- A family lives here.
- Jimmy?
- Hey.
- Are you okay?
Yeah. Just keeping these animals at bay.
Holy shit! What happened to you?
- I gave myself a black eye.
- Jimmy, why would you do that?
In solidarity with your dad.
Baby, I had to.
I jammed my face into a tent pole.
Super hard. Harder than I intended to.
Vision was a little shaky.
It was touch and go for a minute,
but it feels like it's good now.
- We're back in business, so
- Jimmy, don't
I mean, you already did, but, like,
don't do stuff like that, please.
Olive, your family means the world to me.
The world. I need you to know that.
[romantic music playing]
Yeah, I do.
Good.
Hey. Uh
Have you by any chance had more time
to think about our situation?
'Cause at least for me,
I keep thinking about
how insightful Brian Williams
was about everything.
I was so shook by that.
Yeah. Um, you know,
I just feel like there's a lot going on
right now with Matthew and my dad,
and now Matthew's missing, so, um,
I should probably go and help find him.
But, um
you should really ice that thing
'cause it-it looks kind of infected.
Baby, this is a classic
avoidant attachment style.
Brian would want us to talk through this.
They gave him a Peabody, honey.
They don't give that to anybody.
[shutter clicking]
I guess we're fucking doing this, man.
I warned you.
[Woody] Fuck Matthew and Ma Mac.
What the hell?
[Joy] Hey.
Can you give me a hand with this?
That's theirs.
Oh. Piece of shit anyway.
Look, Woody,
I really hate seeing you like this.
It must have been so hard for you
just holding all of that inside,
and I wish I had been there
for you through all of it.
Well, I did try to tell you, honey.
I know.
In my defense, a lot of crazy shit
comes out of your mouth.
You know, I twisted myself into
a fucking dreadlock keeping this secret,
so as not to hurt Matthew.
And did he think about
that for one second?
No. He just thought of himself.
As usual.
So if he wants to run off to
wherever he is and not talk to me,
then I don't need to stick around here
and wait for him.
And don't even get me started on Ma Mac.
You know, Woody,
think about how hard it was for you
to hold on to that secret for a few weeks.
And you didn't do it
because you're an asshole,
you did it because you were trying
to protect Matthew.
Ma Mac held on to that secret for decades.
Probably for the same reasons.
[sentimental music playing]
[sighs]
Grab the kids. We're going.
And you know what?
I'm taking this chair.
[softly] Okay.
[birds chirping]
- [clears throat]
- Oh, what's up?
No, I did I didn't say anything.
Oh.
- So do you wanna talk about, um--
- Yeah.
The whole "us being cousins
but also dating" thing.
Yeah, um, sure, sounds like a blast.
Let's talk about it forever.
I mean, we're not technically, like--
Yeah. No, right. E-Exactly.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I feel great about it.
I'm not even thinking about it.
- Incest what?
- You don't have to say incest. I
- [Woody] Olive! Kai!
- I think maybe I should
- I'm just gonna Yeah.
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Well, I'm really glad we talked.
- Yeah. For sure.
[Woody] Harrelsons! Wheels up!
Vámonos.
[Kai, in English] I'll catch you later.
[Jimmy] Hey, can I give you
a hand with the
- I'm fine.
- I have my car here.
So I was thinking we could totally
do the drive together.
We're going to the same place.
It just kinda feels like
you're running away
- What? No.
- and leaving me alone
at Matthew McConaughey's house.
Which would be awesome
under normal circumstances.
No. It's just my dad needs to be
with his family right now.
Okay. Well, then
We'll talk soon.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[Val] I can't believe
the Harrelsons just left.
[sighs]
Really, Ma Mac?
Right now's a good time for chili?
People gotta eat.
I'm sorry. Are you really
not feeling anything right now?
[scoffs]
You know, people are getting
mighty goddamned accustomed
to treating me like some dusty,
old bird around here.
"Why'd she do this?
Why didn't she do that?"
Like you all know
how you'd stand in my shoes.
I just genuinely don't understand why
you're not more worried about your son.
Matthew's a grown man
who's out there feeling things.
Not some baby fell down a well.
Wherever the hell he went
he went there for a reason.
- Is that Matthew McConaughey?
- Shh, shut up, Josh.
Why's he here?
I said shut up, Josh.
Should I go talk to him?
If you ruin this for me, Josh,
I swear to fucking God
[Dax] First you're finding out
that about your father,
but then to learn you
and your best friend, Woody Harrelson,
have the same biological father.
- [Dax] That's gotta be mind-blowing, no?
- Holy shit.
Matthew McConaughey
and Woody Harrelson are brothers.
Certainly in light of everything going on,
there will be increased interest
in McConaughey's rally this afternoon,
where the actor will officially announce
his gubernatorial run.
We'll see you at the rally, motherfucker.
Yeah.
[Joy] Feels good
to be back on the road, right?
Yeah.
- Yeah, totally.
- Totally.
How about some music?
- No.
- [Kai] No.
Audiobook? Podcast?
- [Kai groans]
- Spoken word?
- No. Uh-uh.
- No?
Okay. No. You know what?
Fuck this. All right. Stop the bus.
- What?
- Mom.
- Woody, stop the goddamn bus!
- What? Hold!
[tires screeching]
[objects clattering]
[softly] Okay. All right.
You selfish assholes.
This trip was not for me.
I was perfectly fine staying at home,
playing pickleball
with Courteney Cox-Arquette
and Jake Gyllenhaal.
Have you seen that man in shorts?
A gift from God.
- Relax.
- Okay. You know what? No, you relax.
This whole thing started
with you running from love.
And you for running from estrogen.
And me just going along with it
to support you
because that's my fucking deal.
But this time something magic
actually happened, okay.
Olive, you let your guard down.
You were vulnerable
with Jimmy and your dad.
Kai, man, you were
always our fearless one.
Now look at you, running away
from your non-cousin's love.
- What? I'm sor-- Mom, that's not--
- [Joy] No. Okay.
Woody, you were selfless.
You did everything you could
to protect your best friend
and your brother.
My point is, we became this wild, weird,
wonderful family with the McConaugheys.
It unlocked something in all of us
and I am here for it,
so, just please,
can we be the family that lives on a bus,
but because we're free?
Not because we're running from something.
Especially not the people we love.
Holy shit, Mom.
Yeah, you might be right.
If the kids weren't here,
I would take you right now.
- Ew. Oh.
- Really? Oh!
Here we go.
[upbeat music playing]
- Jimmy?
- What happened? Did you get car sick?
I have ginger ale in the tent.
- It's warm, but-- Hey. Hey.
- Hi.
- I'm so sorry.
- Okay.
- Let's start a family.
- No.
We can adopt.
- Shut up.
- Okay.
- Okay, good. You're here.
- I live here.
I'm sorry that I freaked out,
but it doesn't mean
that I don't wanna make this work
because I really like you.
Now, the basis of
a successful relationsh--
Yeah, I really like you too.
[Woody] Jesus Christ, get a room.
- Sorry. Yep.
- All right.
[chuckles]
Yeah, don't you get all smoochy on me.
Ma Mac, I'm sorry everything
went down the way it did.
I should've talked to Matthew myself
and not done the sneaking around,
and the messing with the DNA. And I just
I hope you'll be able to forgive me.
Oh, don't get all weepy on me.
I forgave you the second
I saw your wackadoodle bus
come creeping back up the driveway.
It just kills me to think
you parked in the kitchen
worried about Matthew,
cooking your feelings away.
What is it with you people and my chili?
I'm not cooking my feelings away.
I'm cooking because sometimes
what a boy needs
is his mama and his favorite meal.
So, just get on to that rally
and buy us some goddamn time
while I go get my son.
[singing "Texas Sun"]
[crowd cheering]
You only paid me to do one song.
Well, then play that song again.
This is "Texas Sun" again.
[knocking on door]
- Hi.
- I am Matthew McConaughey's mother.
We all used to live here
and I thought he might be here.
No, not here.
Yes, he is.
[whispers] All right, fine. He's here.
But please don't take him away.
[Ma Mac grunting]
I thought that you might be hungry.
[Matthew sighs]
[Ma Mac] Boy. [grunts]
[sighs]
[sighing]
How'd you know I was here?
I'm your mother.
You and Big Mac built this tree house
first week after we moved in here.
You always liked to come
when you wanted some alone time.
Same reason I'm here now, Mom.
You got every right
in the world to be mad at me.
You think so?
Lived my entire life thinking
I was somebody else,
because you had to keep
your goddamn secret.
- I deserve that.
- [scoffs]
After you grew out of being a little boy,
I-I wanted to tell you.
Um
Did he know?
Yeah, he knew.
E-Every time that we would split
and then remarry,
Big Mac never once asked me
about our time apart.
We didn't have any secrets.
So, um,
I had to tell him about Clive and me.
And, man, he just
stormed out that front door.
And I thought, "God, I am never
gonna see that man again."
But he came back after about a week.
And you know why?
Because he chose love.
Actually he chose you.
He chose his son.
Clive may be your baby daddy,
but Big Mac is your father.
All my life I've been
following his footsteps, you know.
Why don't you just keep on walking in 'em?
Sure do look good on you.
[sighs]
[scoffs]
[mutters]
[inhales deeply, exhales]
Is that Jack Daniel's in here?
That's one secret I'll never give up.
["Texas Sun" playing]
Okay, Matthew's right behind me, I swear.
- [groans]
- We just need a few more minutes.
The-The congestion at the, uh, traffic
Oh, good. Help has arrived.
Look, I am sorry that I've been
a pain in the rear. I
No, no, no. A pain in my rear is
something I enjoy occasionally.
Because I am a modern woman
and sometimes I have a boyfriend
who likes to do that.
You are not a pain in my rear.
You are a parasite.
You are a little freak.
You're cancer. You're a rash.
Are you okay?
I'm trying to help here.
I'm asking can we just stall
a-a tiny bit more?
How about you stall?
I am gonna update my LinkedIn profile.
Move!
[exhales]
[singing "Texas Sun"]
[crowd cheering]
This has been fun,
but I think I'd like to go home now.
[crowd booing]
It's about damn time. [chuckles]
Uh, Leon Bridges, everybody.
[crowd cheering, whistling]
He put in a full day. Hey, everybody.
How you all doing?
[person 1] We've been better.
- [laughs]
- [person 2] Where is Matthew?
Yeah, well,
look, y'all, Matthew is coming.
But before he comes up,
I just want to acknowledge
the elephant in the room.
- Not about you.
- I know you all saw that punch
and you probably had
a lot of thoughts about it.
[person 1] Boo!
- Boo! Get the hippie off the stage.
- [crowd jeering, booing]
And I'm not trying to explain it away.
But I I should've told him sooner.
But Matthew McConaughey is
a passionate man.
He takes things like family
and friendship and honor
- and the truth very seriously.
- Hey.
And so, when you saw him punch
this unnaturally handsome face on TV,
we had just found some stuff out about
our family that was complicated and messy.
And I wasn't as honest with my friend.
My brother.
[stammers]
[chuckling] Well,
here's the man, the myth,
the legend himself.
[crowd cheering]
[Woody] Matthew McConaughey.
- [Matthew] You're my lighthouse.
- [Woody] I'm your lighthouse.
[Matthew] I love you, brother.
And for the record,
I just want you all to know
that I can beat the shit
out of this scrawny-ass,
all-chest no-calves,
soon-to-be-governor of Texas,
any time I want.
I was lucky to get that right hook
in there when I did before you got me.
- [laughs]
- Thank you, Woody.
Um, all right.
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
You know, uh,
when I told Woody, I said, uh,
"I think I'm gonna run for governor,"
Woody said, "Are you high?"
I said, "No, sir, I am not high."
He said, "Well, you should get high."
What did you say?
"Stupidest thing I've ever heard you say
you are gonna do."
- But here I am anyway.
- [laughs]
You know, last few months
I've been thinking a whole lot
about family and what that means.
Family is more than just those who
we're connected to through our bloodline.
- Hear, hear.
- Sometimes family is
those people that make us feel at home.
Those people that stick by us
in this little journey
we're all going through called life.
And when I talk about family
- I'm talking about Texas.
- [crowd cheering]
The way that we take care of ourselves,
but we still lend a helping hand.
So if y'all believe in that,
then I would be humbled,
I'd be honored, and I'd be damn excited
to represent this family of Texas
as your next governor.
[crowd cheering]
- Whoo! [cheering]
- All right.
- Here we go.
- [all chanting] McConaughey!
- McConaughey!
- [chanting continues]
[Matthew] Thank you.
[speaks indistinctly]
- [laughs]
- [chanting continues]
Found you, motherfucker.
Yeah, but you didn't
think it through, did ya?
Not so tough with all
of these people around, are you?
[chanting continues] McConaughey!
- Hey!
- [groans]
[crowd clamoring, screaming]
[Matthew screams]
[Woody] Yeah, baby. Oh, we got this, Dan.
Yeah. Are you guys psyched?
Virginia. Beautiful.
It's happening, everybody.
Come on. Here we go.
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, thanks, gents.
How about it, buddy?
Huh? We in a moment?
- We are.
- So as you can see,
even if every last remaining vote
lands for McConaughey,
it's still essentially
a mathematical impossibility for him
- to dig out of the hole that he's in.
- Wow.
That hole famously started
at his very first rally
when he attacked that older gentlemen.
- [screams]
- [crowd clamoring, screaming]
- Oh.
- [chuckles]
They look much older on TV.
This campaign had
rage issues from day one.
And let's not forget his
run-ins with the police,
being disrespectful,
even charges of disorderly conduct,
- evading arrest.
- Hey, it's early.
We don't know how this will shake out.
It's not early.
93% of precincts are reporting.
Those numbers ain't real.
I know AI when I see it.
If you don't believe in miracles,
miracles don't believe in you.
I feel good about this.
Although McConaughey has
as much chance at winning tonight
as I do winning The Great British
Baking Show and I don't bake.
We're not gonna have nearly all
the results until 6:30 a.m.
Then we will be here
'cause we're not going anywhere.
- We're not?
- We're not.
Well, I am. I'm done.
I'd like to say that it was a pleasure,
but it was not.
It was just an endless
barrage of egomaniacal
and borderline sociopathic behavior
from both of you.
So I'm leaving immediately from here
to a holistic retreat in Bali,
for which I will be sending you the bill.
And I hope they give me ayahuasca there
so I can just throw up so hard
that it turns my guts inside out
and I turn into a big,
old pile of blood and goo.
They'll say finally I look
on the outside how I feel on the inside.
- And that's why--
- Okay, you know what, enough.
I've let this slide for too long.
When you are rude, you diminish
and you make decent people feel small.
Do not talk to Matthew that way.
You know what?
Don't even talk to Woody that way.
Get the fuck out of our victory party.
- What are you doing?
- I'm sorry.
You are sending mixed signals.
That was tremendous.
- Thanks, Woody.
- I was just about to step up to her.
I'm glad one of us did.
On that note, come on, kids.
They're tired. Let me take them home.
- Whoa.
- I know.
And take the chance of missing
out on the comeback of the millennium?
- Mmm. Love you.
- Love you.
Okay, everybody, after-party in my room!
Come on! 706!
706!
Come on, buddy.
Buckle up for the greatest comeback
since Robert Downey Jr.
[sighs]
Well, I don't think we need a recount.
I thought you'd
at least won Bandera County.
Man, I don't get the state of this state.
Oh, hey.
- Hmm?
- I guess you can, uh, hit this now.
Guess I can.
[chuckles]
[both laugh]
There it is.
I have not seen that in a while.
Seems we have a little time
on our hands, Brother Wood.
What if we went to the South of France?
Have a little wine?
Wine, sunshine and song.
I love that idea,
but I was thinking maybe
you and I take a road trip.
Possibly Colorado.
Well, what's in Colorado?
- BSP.
- BSP?
Boulder State Penitentiary.
I've looked at the way
I've handled my life
and my family and I wanna find
some answers from the source.
The guy who got it all started
for me and you,
uh, biologically speaking.
You wanna go see
Our dad.
["Free Ride" playing]
Deal.
Do you mind if we turn this down?
Yeah, kinda, sorta.
We already talked about it.
You got your window. I got my Freon.
I never agreed.
Dude, you nodded.
- I didn't nod. I-I
- Yeah, you nodded.
I shrugged my shoulders actually.
Hey, I just had a thought.
[Matthew] You know, last time you had
a bright idea, I got bucked off a bull.
- [Woody] Forget it.
- Woodrow.
[Woody] My dad slept with your mom.
Well, there must have been others.
- [Matthew] You mean
- Maybe we have siblings.
[Matthew] Dude, I don't know if I've got
the bandwidth for a franchise right now.
[song continues]