D-Frag! (2014) s01e08 Episode Script

[MINAMI] So, do you know why you
two have been summoned here?
Because of that little stunt
we pulled on the school grounds?
Sorry if we caused
any trouble,
but I didn't think things
would get that out of hand.
Oh. I'm afraid
you've misunderstood,
that's not what
this is about at all.
Wait. That's really not it?
Well, then why the heck
did you haul us in here?
[MINAMI] Relax.
We just want to talk to you.
Kazama. We brought
you here today
because of the
zipper-shot incident!
[TAKAO] Aahh!
[KAZAMA and TAKAO]
What? For that?
[KAZAMA] They called us in
because of the zipper-shot?
That doesn't make any sense.
The teachers are concerned
about the track suits.
The durability of their design
is now being called
into question.
Wait, what?
Is this some kind of a joke?
Aren't they focused
on the wrong thing here?
[MINAMI]
Hm. Well, either way,
student safety is not
something we take lightly.
Surely you can appreciate that?
Man. This is so stupid.
Gosh. I had no idea
breaking my tracksuit
would cause
so much trouble.
[TAKAO] But I can't admit
that it really broke.
Because it was too small
for me to squeeze into.
It was too small for
her to squeeze into.
Of course her tracksuit
popped a zipper!
[KAZAMA and TAKAO] Uhh
I'm sorry, everybody.
I've been using my
awkward teenage phase
as an excuse to hide
that I've gained weight.
[KAZAMA]
"Gained weight"? Hold on.
Don't tell me she really
doesn't know why it broke!
Let's calm down everyone.
It's true this problem
started with you,
but it's not an
isolated incident.
The popularity of
the zipper-shot's
been spreading like wild fire.
[KAZAMA]
Whaddaya mean?
Well, you see.
Students all across
campus are beginning to
copy your signature move!
Are you kidding me?!
This frightening new trend has
resulted in a constant stream
of injured students.
[KAZAMA] Wait a sec,
why would anybody wanna try--
These two were
the first casualties.
Yo!
[KAZAMA] But why?
[MINAMI] Yes, why try
something so dangerous?
[KAZAMA] Dangerous?
You see, the thing is
It's fun. And I also get to feel
what it's like to be Takao.
[KAZAMA] Huh?
Hmph. It's like they say.
"Boobs. If you can't
touch real ones,
just cup your
hands in the air
while going one hundred
miles per hour.
It's almost like
the real thing!"
Big ole' F Cups!
[KAZAMA]
It's not the same!
Yeah, man, but
the best part of all
is that we totally
pulled it off!
[KAZAMA] Could you remember
you're a guy for a second?
Now, what did it feel like?
[MUROMI and OHORI]
Not cool.
It hurt so bad.
My mom grounded me 'cause
I ruined my tracksuit!
[KAZAMA] Serves you right,
freak-a-zoids!
[OHORI] It's all your fault!
Next time be gentler
when you shoot it off!
[MUROMI] I'm workin' free for
a week to pay for that suit!
[KAZAMA] Guys!
Break it up!
And they definitely
aren't the only ones.
How many dummies
we talkin' here?
Huh?
But, out of all the cases,
this is the worst.
Her name is Saginuma.
When she heard about
Takao's zipper-shot,
it's reported she was yelling
"She's not the only one
with an amazing rack",
as she tried to "bust
out," so to speak!
But the zipper
never shot off,
and her depression was so severe
she dropped out of school.
[KAZAMA] Weird thing
to base your pride on.
And there's nothing
wrong with her tracksuit!
That poor thing.
I feel absolutely awful,
I should go apologize to her.
I wouldn't, it'll only
make things harder.
Why do you say that?
You really don't
get it, huh?
And the list goes on and on.
[KAZAMA] I think
this school may have
the dumbest student body ever.
So, that's the long
and short of it.
But enough of that, what do you
really think of the tracksuits?
[KAZAMA] Hmm I never
really thought about it.
Hey, what about you?
What's your opinion on 'em?
What? Why are
you asking me?
You wear a tracksuit
every day, don't you?
He's got a point.
Now that he mentioned it,
I don't think I've ever seen
you wearing anything else!
I feel a story coming on!
Oh, uh
[sighs]
Well
Dude, you totally called it!
To be honest, my story
is fairly typical.
It happened back when I was just
starting out as a new teacher.
I was so inexperienced at
the time that I'd get battered
and bruised just trying
to make it to school.
[MINAMI] I made it.
Walking all the way from
Hachioji is pretty scary,
I wasn't sure If I'd
ever get out alive.
[KAZAMA] Oh please, Hachioji's
in the middle of Tokyo!
Are you calling me a liar?
[KAZAMA]
Don't talk to me!
You're breaking the fourth wall!
Miss Osawa, you're
running behind again?
Goodness!
You're not looking so hot!
[MINAMI] This young woman's
name was Totsuka.
She wasn't the most well
behaved student in school,
but for some reason, she'd
taken a bit of a liking to me.
[KAZAMA] Huh. Guess every class
is bound to have its weirdoes.
[MINAMI] I can't remember
what she looked like.
[KAZAMA] Hey, come on,
aren't you supposed to be
painting a picture here?
This is no time to
be drawing a blank!
[MINAMI]
We were sort of friendly
throughout her
High School years.
And then, eventually,
her graduation came.
[KAZAMA] You just
skipped a lot of time!
[NOBORITO] Miss Osawa!
[MINAMI] Hm?
[NOBORITO chuckles]
[NOBORITO]
Here. Take it.
What's this for?
[NOBORITO] Well, duh,
cause your clothes
are always falling apart!
Now that I'm graduating,
I won't need it anymore,
so I figured I might
as well give it to you.
Better to give it to someone
who'll put it to good use.
And I can't think of anyone
who needs it more than you.
Thank you,
Too? Tohru? Toruko?
Oh! It's Totsuka!
[KAZAMA] You didn't know her
name until she graduated?
[MINAMI] And that's the story
of how I got this tracksuit.
And by some stroke of luck,
I've managed to wear it
this entire time
without destroying it.
[KAZAMA] It's not luck, it's
'cause you take care of it.
Uh Her name wasn't
Totsuka, it was Noborito.
Hi there,
I'm Noborito.
[KAZAMA]
You got her name wrong?!
You need to work on
your story telling!
That's the sweetest thing I've
ever heard in my entire life,
when I graduate I want you
to have my tracksuit too!
[KAZAMA] She won't
remember your name!
Please. It's not like I can
fit into her tracksuit anyway,
I'm still waiting to "bloom."
[KAZAMA]
She doesn't want it!
Fine then, I don't
want it either!
[KAZAMA]
No one asked you!
Even though I'm
a man, I suppose
[KAZAMA] All right,
that's enough!
This is awful.
I'm sorry for the trouble
I've caused everybody.
I feel like we're
all overreacting
to this whole zipper-shot thing.
[MINAMI grunts]
What is wrong with kids today?
And now, looking back on it,
I don't think any one person
is really to blame
for what happened.
[TAKAO gasps]
Sounds good to me.
And there's no need for you
to change the tracksuits.
After all,
you've kinda proven just
how durable they are.
Hey. Good point.
Yeah. This suit has
held up pretty well,
all things considered.
It has.
Kay.
Go to class now.
[OHORI and MUROMI]
Yes, ma'am.
Are you sure
about this?
No reason to treat something
like a major crisis
when the answer's
really quite simple.
Hey, Takao.
Don't shoot off your zippers.
That sound fair?
Yes. That won't be a problem!
My new suit's much bigger!
It's not nice to brag!
Oh! I'm sorry!
[KAZAMA sighs]
I'm glad to be done with that.
Uh. Thank you.
[KAZAMA] Uh!
I mean it, thanks a lot.
What're you
talkin' about?
I feel guilty for putting you
out and making you go through
all of this stuff on my behalf.
[KAZAMA] I don't get it,
why would you feel guilty?
Well, they were
[KAZAMA] They were making
a big deal out of nothing.
So don't sweat it.
[TAKAO]
Uh. Yeah, okay.
Later!
Hey! Wait a second.
[KAZAMA] Eh?
If-If you don't have
plans this weekend
We could maybe
[KAZAMA] Huh?
That was such an incredible
thing you did back there.
You could've looked
the other way.
I just wanna return the favor.
We should hang out on Sunday.
If you're not busy.
Oh. You wanna treat
me to something, huh?
Yeah. That's right!
It'll be kinda like a date!
Oh, crap!
I said that out loud!
Huh, so uh, didn't you say
something about treating me?
[TAKAO sighs]
You do know what that
means, don't you?
It means you take me to,
like, a movie or somethin'.
[TAKAO] Mm.
[KAZAMA] Cool.
Glad I didn't misunderstand.
'Cause that woulda been
embarrassing, huh?
[KAZAMA laughs]
So, ya feel like telling me
what the hell we're doing
waiting in this
really long line?!
[TAKAO] Uhh
What the Hello?
Hey, answer me.
Come on!
[TAKAO] Yes!
This looks just about right.
It's so rare you get
all dolled up like this!
It's not that rare, mom!
Gah, just leave me alone!
The only thing you ever wear
is that grubby old tracksuit.
It's disgusting and it
has a broken zipper.
Well, you see,
the problem is--
Of course she's
dressed to the nines.
This is a big deal for her!
After all, it's not every day
your favorite game comes out!
[TAKAO] Hm.
[TAKAO gasps]
Hey, what's
going on out here?
[TAKAO'S SISTER 8B]
Have we got
[TAKAO] You guys!
What should I do?
The store opens in three hours!
I should call him
and cancel, right?
But I've never
called him before!
What do I do?
What do I do?!
What else can I say besides
my plan fell through
and this is a complete disaster?
I'm sorry,
I'm a total failure.
If you had plans, you
shoulda just called first.
I wouldn't have minded
switching to another day.
[TAKAO chuckles]
[TAKAO] I'm so lame!
Is there anyone lamer than me?
You gonna
say something?
[TAKAO] Heh
In that case,
I'm outta here.
If you still want to treat me,
buy me lunch at
school or something.
I need a nap.
[TAKAO] You know, come to think
of it, you still owe me a favor!
[KAZAMA] Huh?
[TAKAO] When you were
playing that por--uh,
that Scramble in Space Game,
remember how you
made me take part?
You said that you'd do anything
I asked if I agreed to play
that stupid game with you!
That was a figure
of speech!
You can't hold me to that!
You're gonna stay right
here and hang out with me
until the damn game
goes on sale!
Then maybe I'll let you leave!
Uh. I meant to
say, "please."
[KAZAMA] Is that
really all she wants?
Yeah. Sure. Okay.
I did come here to have fun,
might as well make
the most of it.
[TAKAO chuckles]
[KAZAMA] So
You said something
about a game,
which one are you waiting for?
[TAKAO squeals]
[NARRATOR] And now:
the legend behind
the Magical Village Series!
The first game in the
Magical Village Series
was released to
the public in 1987.
Its initial success spawned
a number of sequels.
This magic action game is
representative of Japan!
Here's the premise:
The palace wizard,
by the name of Mason,
goes to rescue Queen Ashan,
who for some odd reason,
keeps getting kidnapped
by the Demon King.
It has a simple story
combined with
a frustratingly hard
difficulty level!
The quality has barely
changed for the past decade,
making it a smash hit with older
fans and retro gamers alike!
Of course the game's
content was a plus,
but Mason's charm
[KAZAMA] Makes sense.
The President of the
Game Creation Club's
a video game nerd.
I can talk about this
game for hours on end.
Yeah. It's better if
you don't do that.
[NARRATOR] Welcome to
the Magical Village!
[TAKAO] The first version
went on sale in 1987.
At the time, the graphics
were top of the line,
and it ushered the gaming
industry into a new era.
That's how the legend began!
[KAZAMA] I said you
shouldn't talk about it!
Who cares about some
crap game that came out
before we were born?
[NARRATOR] Oh, Over Yonder
is the Magical Village!
[TAKAO] The second release
was even more successful!
[KAZAMA]
That title sucks!
Why didn't they make it the
"Super Magical Village?"
[NARRATOR] More to the Right,
More to the Left and voila!
It's the Magical Village!
[TAKAO] When this one
was in the works,
all the main staff were snatched
up by another company.
Things were lookin' bad.
[KAZAMA] After three
freakin' years,
the graphics haven't
changed at all?!
Following that, they had
a long series of flops,
one after the other.
Believe it or not though, the
game that's going on sale
[NARRATOR]
Heh, heh, heh.
Hmm?
Magical Village?
[OTAKU 8A] Fire!
[TAKAO] was made
by the original staff
and is said to be
the next masterpiece
of the video
game industry!
[KAZAMA] Whoa! Talk about
a dramatic leap forward
in quality!
Yeah, tell me about it.
And I actually kinda
liked the pixels.
So what's the deal?
Are these guys dressed
up as the characters
from the game or something?
[TAKAO] This store is
legendary among fans,
so a lot of hard-core
gamers tend to shop here.
But that's not
why I chose it.
I like this place,
it's close to home
and compared to the megastores,
they have some great deals.
This game includes a
promotional cell phone strap
of Mason riding
Endgar the dolphin!
I'm so excited,
I can hardly wait!
Come on. Is this place
gonna open or what?
Uh?!
Is it just me?
Or does that bring a
certain someone to mind?
I know, talk
about dedication.
The person who owns that
tent camped here all night
so they could be first in line.
Kinda makes me feel
like a loser.
Really?!
So it doesn't remind
you of anyone?
Hm? No why?
How is it that you never
managed to see her before?
Excuse me, Miss,
but the store's open now.
Uh
I was asleep.
Yeah, well, maybe I'm
just being paranoid.
[TAKAO gasps]
[KAZAMA]
See, I told you!
You should pay more
attention to your surroundings.
[TAKAO] Oh, crap.
Oh, crap!
[KAZAMA] Huh?
We've gotta hide!
[KAZAMA] What?
No way. Who cares
if she spots us here?
I do, you idiot!
If she sees us
together, she'll flip!
She's coming this way!
Whadda we do?
That'll work!
[KAZAMA] Huh?
Kazama?
[high-pitched voice]
No, sorry, you uh
You must have the wrong person.
I don't believe that's true.
As a result of
your voice shifting
from its default
base to falsetto.
I've deduced that the
frequency differential
could only indicate
Kenji Kazama.
And I've deduced
that you're annoying!
So yeah, big deal.
It's me, Kazama!
[ROKA] I knew it.
Oh, shut up already!
But I must admit, I never
thought that I'd see you
waiting in line at a game store
wearing a Mason cosplay!
Well, it's not like I'm
wearing this stupid thing
because I want to!
[KAZAMA]
This is totally embarrassing.
Hey, what's
wrong with you?
[TAKAO] For a last-minute
hiding spot,
I thought it was a
pretty decent idea.
But it's super-hot in here.
Not to mention,
it smells like Con-Funk.
I feel bad for the guy next
to us who lent us his robe.
[ROKA] Hm. I see what this is.
A scantily clad man
sitting to your right.
He's cosplaying Mason
after he's hit
with a clothes-abolishing spell!
Yes, you're correct!
I'm impressed you
picked up on that!
[KAZAMA]
He's impressed?
Ah, forget about it.
Why don't you hurry back
to your own spot in line?
[ROKA]
But I don't wanna.
Not after I just ran into you.
Hey, I know!
Let's make a deal.
I'll go back if you
successfully pretend
to cast Mason's
"Fire Archer" spell!
Otherwise, I can stay
here as long as I please!
[KAZAMA] Seriously?!
[KAZAMA] This is not good!
Even if I knew what
"Fire Archer" was,
I don't want to make
an ass of myself.
Let's do it, Kazama!
Stand up, my friend!
[KAZAMA] I owe this
dude, big time!
Old geezer's really
playin' the part!
The only problem is this robe
is way too short on me.
If I stand up, it'll be obvious
there's someone else inside.
No, it's okay.
We can work around
this, trust me,
all you have to do is brace
yourself when you stand.
What exactly are you
planning to do?
Alright. We both move
on the count of three.
Hold on, wait!
[TAKAO]
One, two, three!
[KAZAMA yells]
Oh, man.
[TAKAO groans]
[KAZAMA] Uh, yeah.
Wow. This is kind of, uh--
I'm sorry.
I know I'm a little heavy,
but hang in there.
No, really, it's not
your weight, it's your--
[TAKAO] Gosh, his
hair is so spikey!
So! Let's do it together
now everybody!
[OTAKU 8A] Fire Archer!
Fire Archer, or whatever.
[ROKA squeals]
[KAZAMA] Whoa.
I have no idea what
I'm doing, and honestly
I don't think I wanna know!
[ROKA] Yay!
Fire Archer!
Kazama just cast
the Fire Archer spell!
[KAZAMA] I'm glad
you enjoyed that,
now run back to your spot, okay?
I have an idea!
You should cast the
"Cold Freezer" spell next!
[KAZAMA] Hell no!
The cold--
[KAZAMA]
Not necessary!
[ROKA] Nuts.
There's one last thing.
Seriously?!
What now?!
[ROKA]
It's about my bag.
Have you been taking care of it?
[TAKAO gasps]
Do you really have to
ask me that right now?
[ROKA] I can't ask
you in the clubroom,
I'm too self-conscious.
Well, I wouldn't say
I "treasure" it.
To be honest, I'm not
sure what to do with it.
I just sorta carry it
around in my briefcase.
[TAKAO groans]
Okey-doke!
Then everything is cool!
You're cool with that?
Did you hear me say I stuff
it into my briefcase?
Did you hear me say,
"everything's cool?"
[KAZAMA]
Loud and clear!
[ROKA] Farewell!
All right.
She's gone now.
[KAZAMA] Man, between the
heat and holding you up,
I thought I wasn't
gonna make it!
Uh--Is there somethin' wrong?
It's nothing.
I don't feel good.
Oh. Are you okay?
I should go!
[KAZAMA]
Uh--Hey!
Who takes off running
when they don't feel good?
[LINE PEOPLE A] Uh
[LINE PEOPLE B] Uh
What the hell?!
[MANAGER 8A]
Thanks for waiting!
The store is now open!
[TAKAO breathes heavily]
I think I'm gonna puke!
[TAKAO]
What am I doing?
Why did I leave him there
like that, I don't understand.
Why in the world would
I react so dramatically
to something so trivial?
No!
Geez, I really am
pathetic, aren't I?
Honestly,
I'm a lost cause.
[TAKAO screams]
[sighs]
There's no point in
trying to go back now,
he's probably already left.
Seeing him tomorrow at
school's gonna be weird,
and I didn't even
buy the stupid game.
[KAZAMA] That was pretty
dumb, wasn't it?
[TAKAO gasps]
[KAZAMA breathes heavily]
Aaaahhh!
What on earth are
you doing here?
I got you your
game. See?
[TAKAO] Huh?
[TAKAO gasps]
[TAKAO] Wow!
But, how'd you do it?
[KAZAMA sighs]
Hurry and buy that game so you
can go after her, my friend!
[KAZAMA] For some
strange reason,
the guys in the front
of the line let me cut.
So what's the deal?
If you didn't feel good,
why'd you take off like that?
[TAKAO whimpers]
[KAZAMA] Mm
[TAKAO] I'm sorry.
[KAZAMA] Huh?
[TAKAO] Please! Forgive me for
all the trouble I caused you!
[KAZAMA] Huh?
[TAKAO whimpers]
[KAZAMA sighs]
[KAZAMA] Hey.
So, you're feeling
better now, right?
[TAKAO] Huh?
Well, last time I checked
you still owe me a meal.
And I didn't eat anything
for breakfast this morning,
so I'm starving.
[TAKAO] Heh! Sure!
[KAZAMA] So
You're telling me you're broke
because you paid for that game?
[TAKAO] Mm-hm.
You have problems.
You should work on that.
[TAKAO'S MOM]
The Takao Family.
All right,
we're ready to go!
Heh, heh! The boys at
today's matchmaking party
are gonna love me.
Yeah right.
[TAKAO'S SISTER 8A]
But not if they find out about
her freaky animal obsession!
My goodness, you two got all
dressed up today, didn't you?
Hmm
Even though your figures might
leave something to be desired,
I'm sure that everything will
work out just fine in the end.
[TAKAO'S SISTERS] Uh!
[TAKAO] Oh, hey you guys!
How is everybody
doing this morning?
You said 'morning.'
Geez.
It's nighttime already.
[TAKAO] Oh, I was up late
playing video games.
And since it's a
three-day weekend,
I think I'm gonna spend the
rest of today gaming as well.
[TAKAO'S SISTERS] Uh!
You moron!
Are you a high
school girl or not?
You're wasting the best days
of your life, you know?
Why don't you have
a boyfriend already?
Isn't there a guy
out there you like?
A boyfriend?
Oh no.
I guess no one's interested.
If I had a pair of
boobs like that,
you bet your bottom dollar,
I'd be out there breaking
hearts left and right.
Even with boobs,
you'd still be a member of
the Unidentified
Mysterious Animals club.
UMA rocks the house!
It's true that, as far
as chest size goes,
she definitely inherited
my superior genes.
In that department,
you two fell a little flat!
Thanks for the encouragement,
mom, you're the greatest!
And would you please stop
pointing your fingers
all crooked and janky
like that, weirdo?
[TAKAO'S MOM] Oooohh
Ha, ha, heh, ha!
[TAKAO'S SISTER 8B]
You're the worst mom
in the history of ever!
[TAKAO'S SISTER 8A]
I'm outta here.
I want go to the convenience
store, so I'll tag along!
[TAKAO'S SISTER 8B] You're not
planning to wear that, are you?
[door closes]
[TAKAO'S MOM] Hm. The Spring
of Life is still a ways off.
[NAGAYAMA amd KAZAMA]
This is our only chance
to be in this episode!
[KAZAMA] Don't worry,
there'll be other chances.
[TAKAO'S SISTER 8A] Look.
Some punks are hanging
out at the store.
[TAKAO'S SISTER 8B]
You're right.
If I were you,
I'd be careful.
[TAKAO'S SISTER 8A] Ooh!
Check out the one with
the spikey hair,
he's pretty cute.
I don't know if I can even
identify the little one.
It's a UMA!
[TAKAO gasps]
[TAKAO'S MOM hums]
[door opens]
[TAKAO] Sorry,
I forgot something!
[TAKAO]
And now I'm off again!
[TAKAO'S MOM] Huh?
[door closes]
[FEMALE NARRATOR 8A]
But no one was in front of
the convenience store
by the time she returned.