Elle (2026) s01e08 Episode Script
What, Like It's Hard
-I kissed Elle.
-I don't want to look at you.
I don't want to be around you,
and you can tell Elle
I am done with her, too.
I don't want to lose Shannon as a friend.
Previously on Elle
It's my mom.
They were there to arrest her.
Thousands of dollars in cash
was reported stolen from school today.
They found it in her car.
[Elle] You don't need to come
to your own defense
if we do it for you.
[suspenseful music playing]
It's everything we got
from Anderson's office.
What if the receipts aren't real?
Principal Anderson
was stealing money
because he was being blackmailed
-for his secret.
-[audience gasping]
But by whom?
Mayoral hopeful Dean Wilson,
you picked the wrong student body
to mess with.
[cheering and applause]
[cheerleaders] E-L-L-E. That's how we--
[student] She's back?
Shannon?
[Shannon] Turns out,
sweet, innocent Elle Woods
is nothing more
than a backstabbing blond bitch.
[Shannon] I think everyone
would like to hear more
from the great Elle Woods.
Uh, look, whatever you're about
to read right now,
I wrote it a long time ago.
I never thought they'd actually print it.
I'm sorry,
these logistics are fascinating,
but what is it she actually wrote?
Basically, we were a hardship
she had to overcome.
We're not as privileged as she is.
We're so focused on justice
that we don't care
that we dress like crap.
[others scoffing]
But don't worry,
she makes sure everyone knows
it's not our fault that we don't have
the access to the things that she does.
"What I've learned is to treat everyone
with love and kindness,
even if they don't have
a skin care routine."
[scoffs] It's not like anyone
was rolling out
the welcome wagon for me when I got here.
I mean, you all prejudged me, too.
[Kimberly] Was Donna mean to you, too?
Because, according to these,
when you got Donna fired,
you didn't care about her job.
You cared about your own "comeback."
-Well--
-And all that shit
about clearing Donna's name?
You just cared about looking like a hero
in front of the school
and all those cameras.
Well, now we know why your mom
was filming everything.
It wasn't like that. I
I just wanted to show I can make
a positive impact somewhere.
[scoffs]
I-I don't know. Elle's
also been pretty loyal.
I mean, she's annoyingly dependable.
[Shannon] "Loyal"
is an interesting word.
Because this is a person
who also kissed Miles
-[students gasping]
-the night my mom died.
[students murmuring]
Are you for real?
[dramatic music playing]
I know this all sounds bad, but--
It sounds bad because it is bad.
[somber music playing]
Please believe me. I want to be here.
Seattle doesn't want you here.
♪
[Eva in distance] I want you
to choose something for both of us.
[Wyatt] Why don't you just tell me
what you want to watch
instead of trying to make me guess?
[Eva] Here's a hint: it's not Road House.
Which we've watched, what,
a hundred times?
-[Wyatt] You love Road House.
-[Eva] No, you love Road House,
and I go along with it.
That's not the same thing.
I can't watch Patrick Swayze
rip someone's throat out one more time.
Oh, hey, honey.
We were just having a little--
Do you even realize what you've done?
I Okay. I hear your point,
but we were both fighting.
This isn't about you and Dad.
Who cares about Dad?
Hey.
Yeah, you're right. No.
Not-not the time to dissect that.
I'm gonna go.
I know you submitted my Cosmo application,
after I specifically told you
I didn't want to apply.
It doesn't even matter that I won,
-because everything else is gone--
-What? You won?
Oh, my God, that's am
awful.
I was finally making progress here,
and you threw it away.
I was just trying
to give you some options.
Well, it seems like option A
is everyone hates me
and option B is everyone really hates me.
And they should.
I really hurt their feelings.
But you were working so hard
on that application.
I just didn't want you to regret
making a rash decision by not applying.
So, you made a rash decision of your own.
[somber music playing]
Elle, you don't even like Seattle.
[softly] But I did.
I will fix this.
Just stay out of it this time.
I don't need your help.
[Ms. Burke over P.A.] Good morning,
students.
Let's talk about the plumbing situation.
I'm not sure what you guys
are putting in the urinals
in the boys' room, but
-Um
-[mouths]
No, I'm in the middle
I'm in the middle of morning--
[whispers] Just two minutes.
But w-we've said it before,
-the pipes are old and I--
-I have cards, I have cards.
[sighs]
[whispers] Okay.
Well, before we go,
a-a couple of very limited words
from Elle Woods.
Just press the button when you're ready.
[clears throat]
[microphone feedback squeals]
Thank you, Interim Principal Burke,
who I think we can all agree
is the fearless leader we need
-during these times.
-[laughs softly]
Okay, keep just keep talking.
To put it in a vernacular
I think you'll all understand
"What else should I be?
All apologies."
Kurt Cobain.
[sighs]
I know, due to recent events,
many of you believe that I think I'm
you know, too good for this place,
but that couldn't be further
from the truth.
I mean, I've actually learned
so much from you all.
Like the other day,
I caught myself frowning
and I didn't even try to correct it.
And I just did it again. [chuckles]
Which you can't see, but, uh yeah.
[exhales]
I know I can't deny I wrote
those horrible words in my essay
but I wrote them
before I fell in love with Seattle.
And before I got to know all of you.
I am so, so sorry for hurting the people
I've come to appreciate so much.
[Radiohead plays "Creep"]
[school bell ringing]
When you were here before ♪
couldn't look you in the eye ♪
You're just like an angel ♪
Your skin makes me cry ♪
You float like a feather ♪
in a beautiful world ♪
I wish I was special ♪
You're so fucking special ♪
But I'm a creep ♪
-I'm a weirdo ♪♪
-[line ringing]
[Eva over phone] Hello? Woods residence.
Mom, you were right.
I'm only happy when it rains ♪
[Garbage sings
"I'm Only Happy When It Rains"]
I'm only happy when it's complicated ♪
And though I know you can't ♪
appreciate it ♪
I'm only happy when it rains ♪
Pour your ♪
-misery down ♪
-Pour your misery ♪
-Pour your misery down on me ♪
-down, pour your misery ♪
-Pour your misery down ♪
-down, pour ♪
You can keep me company as long as ♪
you don't care ♪
I'm only happy when it rains ♪
You wanna hear about my new obsession? ♪
I'm riding high upon ♪
a deep depression ♪
I'm only happy when it rains ♪
Pour some misery down on me ♪
I'm only happy when it rains ♪♪
[Spin Doctors play "Two Princes"]
[both babbling rhythmically]
This one, he got a princely racket ♪
That's what I said now ♪
Got some big seal up on his jacket ♪
Ain't in his head now ♪
You marry him,
your father will condone you ♪
How 'bout that now? ♪
You marry me,
your father will disown you ♪
He'll eat his hat now ♪
Marry him or marry me ♪
I'm the one that loves you, baby,
can't you see? ♪
I ain't got no future or a family tree ♪
but I know what a prince
and lover ought to be ♪
I know what a prince and lover
ought to be ♪
Said if you want to call me "baby" ♪
just go ahead now ♪
And if you like to tell me maybe ♪
just go ahead now ♪♪
Hey, Mom!
[Eva in distance] I'm up here.
[Elle] Coming.
[Bruiser barking]
[gasps]
[Eva] Welcome to Bruiser's new palace.
-[gasps]
-[laughs] I know.
-Oh, my.
-I know, I know.
[Elle] He's always wanted a canopy.
I know.
And I'm just getting him
resettled into his pied-à-terre.
-Aww.
-How was school?
-It was great.
-[exhales] Aww.
I was still fluent in 99% of the gossip.
It was like I never left.
See, L.A. doesn't hold grudges
like Seattle.
Even with your dad's whole nose situation,
I feel like people
don't hold it against us.
Uh, what does Dad think?
I'm sure he would be happy for us.
[exhales] You haven't talked to him?
Well, we are big believers
in "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Does he know that?
Oh, before I forget, I just RSVP'd for us
to that pre-Golden Globes party
at Candy Spelling's Canyon house.
[laughs softly]
To think we almost missed
such an important night
for a bunch of people
who don't even like me.
You still haven't heard
from anyone from Seattle?
They have had all of winter break
to respond to my calls. [inhales]
I just need to move on
and find people who like me for me.
Honestly, this internship
couldn't have come at a better time.
Tomorrow is such an important step
toward your future.
And you can do anything.
Remember that.
[Ace of Base plays "Beautiful Life"]
You can do what you want,
just seize the day ♪
What you're doin' tomorrow's
gonna come your way ♪
Don't you ever consider givin' up ♪
You will find, oh-oh ♪
It's a beautiful life ♪
oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
It's a beautiful life ♪
oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
It's a beautiful life ♪
oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
I just want to be here beside you ♪♪
So, this is obviously
the first day of the rest of your lives.
I did this internship ten years ago,
and now I am an executive assistant.
You're all Cosmo Girls
or you wouldn't be here,
but let's go over some do's and don'ts.
-You. Denim.
-Do.
-Bodysuits.
-Don't.
-Minimalism.
-Do.
But I think it's cresting.
Being a Cosmo Girl
is all about being current.
There is a shared language in fashion,
and you all need to speak it.
And I can't help but notice
that no one is writing this down.
Now, I wasn't sure if I wanted
to save this until tomorrow, but
well, seeing your
eager little faces, I just
I have to tell you.
Does everyone know who Anna St. George is?
-She's my favorite stylist of all time.
-I once wrote a petition
to the Nobel Prize committee to honor
her work in the field of faux fur.
Well, we work with her
a lot here at Cosmo,
and your week is going to end
with a styling session with her.
Like, in the flesh.
You can clap.
[applause]
Now, whoever impresses her the most
will get to assist her
at the Golden Globes,
where she will be styling
Heather Locklear.
Okay, pinch me.
-Ah!
-[chuckles]
Your homework for tomorrow
will be to present me
with different accessories
that you think could work for Heather.
You're all here for a reason.
Now it's time for you to prove it.
[vibrant music playing]
[Madison] Do you think that Patrick Swayze
will be there?
-I hope so.
-Oh, my God.
-I might actually lose my mind.
-[both laugh]
[Tiffany] Does this say
"Golden Globes party"?
[Amber] Mm, no, that feels more
People's Choice.
[gasps] Ooh, what about this
for your Cosmo homework?
[gasps] I love that. Who's the designer?
Eh. I heard they have
unethical labor practices.
What?
Uh, never mind.
I don't know why I said that.
Must be a Seattle thing. [chuckles]
[chuckles] Yeah,
Seattle can get to your head like that.
Yeah, Madison was only there a few days
before she started making out
with some activist guy.
-[scoffs]
-What?
[whispers] She didn't know.
Oh. I mean
maybe that happened,
but also, I-I could be wrong.
Maybe you guys could find
that purse in a vegan leather?
[laughs softly]
Yeah, that purse doesn't
come in a vegan leather.
You kissed Dustin?
Yes.
Um
Uh, why didn't you tell me?
Well, we were fighting.
Which would have been bad enough, but
considering we were fighting about
how much you had been withholding from me,
I don't know, maybe there was
some tit for tat in there?
I'm sorry. I should've told you.
But I don't want to keep things
from each other anymore.
I feel like we just got back
to a good place.
Yeah, we have.
In the spirit of being honest
with each other, can I ask you something?
Of course.
Based on your face and your whole
everything, right now
do you have a crush on Dustin?
Uh no.
I don't.
I mean, if anyone in Seattle
was crush material, it was Miles.
I just feel bad that I made you feel like
you couldn't tell me things.
I should have fought harder
for our friendship.
Okay, well, I could have been
more understanding when I came to visit.
Well, I could be more understanding
that you were less understanding.
-Aww.
-Oh [tongue clicks]
Elle.
Are you sure you don't like him?
[scoffs] He's running around
kissing my best friend.
Clearly, I don't know him
as well as I thought.
[Ms. Burke over P.A.] Good morning,
students.
Today's announcements
start with some bad news.
As your interim principal,
I've had to make the very hard decision
to cancel winter formal.
Now, the school board is still
in the process of digging itself out
of the financial hole
some recent events have put us in.
Now, I know this isn't the outcome
that you all would have hoped.
Uh, and that concludes
this morning's announcements.
Dude, does this mean we can suck
the helium out of the balloon arch?
[scattered laughter]
Have you heard from her again?
No.
She reached out a few times
after she left, but, uh, I wasn't ready.
I mean, I always thought
she'd dump us for L.A., and here we are.
We can just go back
to the status quo now, right?
It's kind of messed up that she just left
without saying goodbye, though.
Sure, we were all mad at her and weren't
talking to her, but she just bailed.
-Mm-hmm.
-I guess now she can go
to her precious Golden Globes, though.
-Right.
-What?
Normally, I only see you this fired up
about, like, Freeing Tibet.
So?
So, I wonder if you, perhaps,
are having this reaction
because you miss her?
I wonder if you should,
perhaps, stop talking.
[school bell ringing]
[Amber] Bet you didn't have
morning coffees on the quad in Seattle.
[scoffs] I think that "coffee"
is the only part of that sentence
that existed in Seattle.
You didn't have mornings?
-Well Oh.
-Oh.
Hey.
Hi.
He just said hi to you.
-And you said hi back.
-That's basically third base.
You'll be kissing in no time,
three-point plan style.
Oh, maybe it could even happen
at the pre-Golden Globes party.
He's gonna be there.
His aunt did the set design on Cybill.
Ooh, that'll give you guys
time to figure out
your best couple angles
for prom portraits.
I-I can't believe
that it's already prom season.
Like, didn't we just have winter formal
before the holiday break?
Oh, my God. Winter formal.
Oh, you didn't miss much.
Chad and Becca broke up again.
-Then they got back together again.
-Mm-hmm.
No, I totally forgot to tell Donna
about a balloon arch
I had ordered to Rainier West for our
their winter formal.
[sighs] I hope someone signed for it.
I should have told them
to position it on the west wall
for the most dramatic entry experience
before I left.
I'm sure it's fine.
Can't they figure out
their own balloon arch logistics?
You're right.
I just don't like leaving
odds and ends undone.
[school bell ringing]
-[door closes]
-[Miles] Hey, Dad.
Miles. Guess who's here.
[Miles] Oh.
Mr. Woods. Hi.
Your dads have been so nice,
inviting me over so much
now that Eva and Elle are gone.
-Oh, I just spoke to Elle.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-How-how is she?
Hmm? Oh, well, you know,
she's great.
You know? She loves L.A.
Really sounds like she's thriving there.
-Yeah!
-Mm-hmm.
That's cool.
Yeah, and because of
the whole internship thing,
she gets to go to the Golden Globes,
which has always been her dream.
I am so happy for her.
Even if I can't show my face in L.A.
The whole "persona non grata" thing.
So, uh, has-has she mentioned
anything else or
you know, like, any-anyone else?
What do you mean?
Like, uh
I don't know,
anything about Seattle, or
-Anything?
-Mm, mm-mm.
[Charlie] Check
this out.
[Miles] Whoa.
What's with the banner?
Elle approached me
with one of her genius ideas
at the homecoming meet.
Her thought was that small businesses
sponsor the dance,
and that money goes to the support staff.
It's win-win.
That's, uh
not a bad idea.
Hey. Can we talk?
Well, you just cut me,
so we're not off to a great start.
Okay, whatever. Look.
I have some intel,
seems kind of like a you thing.
I'm fascinated to see what you think
a "me" thing is.
This is fun.
The thing is about Elle.
Hey, you remember the dance
she was planning?
You mean the one she asked me to?
She asked you?
Yeah.
Clearly, she has good taste.
Okay.
So, I guess her whole thing was,
it wasn't really even about being a dance.
It was a fundraiser for the support staff,
which would've helped even more now,
since they got boned
by Principal Anderson and Dean.
All right, look, I know
the dance was canceled,
but doesn't it seem like
she was on to something?
Unfortunately, yes. It's a good idea.
I mean, not the dancing part
or the school-sanctioned part
or any of Elle Woodsy stuff,
but the fundraising, that's good.
So, should we do that?
-We could call Elle.
-[both] No.
We wouldn't do the Elle version.
What's the one thing everyone
at this school agrees is worthwhile?
CarpetMart.
We could ask Bob's Your Uncle to perform,
and donate the proceeds?
I mean, it'd basically be like
our version of Live Aid.
Except for school secretaries
instead of famine.
Yep, that's good.
We could call it our "Winter Informal."
-Let's do it.
-Liz, you're good at zines,
so we'll put you in charge of the flyers.
Uh, I'm good at getting
the word out, so I'll do that.
And you can, I don't know, uh,
sweet-talk all the local businesses
into sponsoring the event.
[Kimberly] And I could provide the drinks.
My parents never lock
their liquor cabinet.
-Great.
-I love that you're doing this
to spite Elle.
I mean, I tried to tell everyone
that L.A. people are entitled.
Let the record state we're doing this
out of a desire to help others,
not to spite Elle Woods.
[Miles] Exactly.
That's what I was saying.
The important thing
is that we're doing this our way.
[all] Not Elle's.
Not Elle's.
[line ringing]
[Donna] Rainier West High School.
Donna?
Elle Woods!
Hi. I just called to apologize.
There was a balloon arch situation
I completely mishandled.
Uh, yeah, I'm not sure if that's an issue.
No one's talking about it?
Not that I've heard of.
Well, great.
Hey, your dance is back on, baby.
I didn't know it was off.
Yeah, it was,
but, uh, Liz and Dustin and Miles
and, believe it or not,
Kimberly got it back on track.
Oh.
Yeah. It's less of a dance and more
of a concert at CarpetMart, but
I'm-I'm actually a little fuzzy
on the creative.
But it involves raising money
for the school.
And get this.
They're calling it a Winter Informal.
-That's-that's great.
-Yeah, well,
you know these kids. They always march
to the beat of their own drum.
Yeah, they definitely do.
Hey, so, how's
your whatchamacallit? Uh, internship?
Oh, uh, it's awesome, actually.
Do you know Heather Locklear?
Um, I'm sorry, Elle. I have to go.
There's a whole blood thing
happening here.
I'm glad you're happy.
This is what you wanted.
-Yeah.
-[dial tone]
[dramatic music playing]
-And that goes with that?
-Exactly.
I know her reputation precedes her,
but be prepared
for Anna to be savage.
She once pulled Karl Lagerfeld
out of a cat adoption ceremony
to berate him
for sending her the wrong pants.
Hmm. Not bad.
Thank you.
I'm impressed.
Everyone here is on trend,
which means, you're all on the right path.
You have very similar taste, actually.
We chose well.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
That we have the same taste, I mean?
I think it's good.
We're all channeling
our inner and outer Cosmo Girl.
[Lindsay] You knocked it out of the park.
I'll be presenting all of your choices
to Anna St. George at the styling session.
-[gasps]
-My God.
Particularly you, Elle.
You have a real knack for this.
So, how is the Winter Informal
planning going?
Uh, it's pretty complicated,
but we'll figure it out.
Elle called the school.
Hmm.
Yeah. Pretty sure she just wanted to hear
how everything was going at school, but
definitely sounds like
she misses everybody.
[scoffs] Right.
Can I say something?
I have a feeling you will anyway.
She obviously messed up. Big-time.
And I'm not happy
about anybody hurting your feelings.
But do you think
there's a chance that your reaction
to all this isn't even totally about Elle?
I mean, what else could it be about?
Well, sweetie, you have had a fear
of abandonment since you were little.
Justifiably, with your dad and all.
So you think this thing
with Elle just fed into that?
[timer dings]
I'm just saying,
maybe one day,
you could cut her the smallest break.
I mean, she did basically save me
from serving three to ten years in jail.
[upbeat music playing]
Janet, can you put that rack there?
No, not that rack.
That rack. Over there.
Where is her Tab?
She has to have her room-temperature Tab.
I have it.
Thank you.
We have your first choice look
on the mannequin over there.
And then those accessories
we talked about.
The interns and I found some earrings
that feel pretty perfect.
Can I just say, it's an absolute--?
Oh.
[Lindsay] Oh, they're lovely, right?
The only thing more impressive
than the interns' eye for earrings
is maybe my eye for talent.
[laughs] That
That was a joke.
Unless you don't want it to be.
That's nice.
Wait.
I just want to say,
this look is very 1994 Vogue.
[Lindsay] This is Elle, our most
opinionated intern, who I'm sure means
that 1994 Vogue is a great thing.
It is.
But it's also safe.
Can I just?
Okay.
-[Lindsay gasps loudly]
-[others gasp]
[gasps]
A Cosmo Girl is fearless.
And I'm sorry,
but everyone in this room is full of fear.
[hopeful music playing]
And we'd continue these safety pins
to our mid-thigh
with a sheer lining underneath.
To me, fearless is finding something new.
Good instinct.
[Todd] Okay, but Pavement
is so much better than
The Smashing Pumpkins,
it is actually insane.
See, that is where you're wrong.
Oh, really?
[entry bells jingle]
Ooh, not it.
Let me guess.
You want the new PJ Harvey?
-Obviously.
-Should be in alt rock.
Subsection punk blues.
Sub-subsection female punk blues.
-Hmm.
-And also, right here.
How pissed are you at Elle?
Uh, pretty pissed.
But working on it.
That's generous of you.
Well, my mom pointed out
that my reaction to Elle might be
a tiny bit influenced
by a general fear of abandonment.
With my dad.
With certain people
who hooked up with me at summer camp
and then made sure
no one ever, ever found out.
Would you like a bag?
Not no one.
I told Shannon.
Oh.
I, uh, didn't know that.
Yeah.
Oh, uh, anyway, so I-I really came by
because I have some bad news.
Well, good news disguised as bad news.
Bob's Your Uncle broke up,
so they can't perform at CarpetMart.
So we're screwed.
Yes, I can totally see
how that might be good news.
Can you let me finish?
I was thinking that maybe
you would want to perform instead.
[laughs]
Yeah, in what world?
-This one.
-[scoffs]
The only person who has ever seen me
perform in public is my mom.
And that's because she came home early
one time when I was singing in my room.
Hmm.
But your music's really good.
You haven't heard my music.
Uh, like, only three people
have ever bought that tape, so
Duh.
Sick. Uh, yeah.
Yeah, it's, uh
Just think about it.
[entry bells jingle]
[indistinct chatter]
So, how does it feel to be back?
Vanessa, is there a word
stronger than ecstasy?
-She said, "Good instinct."
-I know. [laughs]
There was, like, five seconds
I thought I'd gotten myself banned
from the world of fashion
and possibly the world itself for life.
-[laughter]
-But it was, like,
everything inside of me was telling
to trust my gut and be my own self.
Way to be profound, Elle.
[Elle] I just kept thinking
about this thing
Liz told me when I went to this pool party
that wasn't actually a pool party,
-in a bikini--
-Liz who ran you out of Seattle?
Yes.
Sort of. It's more nuanced than that.
-Mm.
-Mm.
Is that Heather Locklear?
Oh, hi, Heather.
Oh, my God,
I am addicted to Melrose Place.
Ooh, Elle, we need to go say hi to her.
Uh, more importantly,
Hot Josh at 12.
-[Amber] Now 11:45.
-[Tiffany] Now 12:15.
-Now--
-Scatter.
-Yeah.
-Oh.
[Hot Josh] Hey.
Do you think we could talk somewhere?
Absolutely.
I just remembered, I have to pee.
[classical music playing]
Um
[indistinct chatter]
Excuse me.
[Anna St. George] You can sit.
How did you--?
Please don't draw attention to yourself.
I'm hiding.
Um, who-who are you hiding from?
Everyone.
I'm hiding, too.
Not from everyone.
Just a boy.
Hmm. What's wrong with him? Too short?
-Too dumb?
-[sighs]
Too expected.
You impressed me the other day.
Wow. That means
-well, everything.
-You don't have to do that.
-Everyone does that.
-No, no, I
I mean it. I mean,
your opinion means a lot to me.
Well, you're going to assist me
at the Golden Globes tomorrow.
Oh.
That's typically followed
by a high-pitched scream.
No, trust me, I'm screaming internally.
I've imagined this happening
so many times,
and now it finally is, and
It feels
Expected?
Yeah.
It's a long story, but I spent
last semester
somewhere really out of my comfort zone.
It was the first time in my life I felt
challenged.
And now I'm here, doing what I love,
and it's not
challenging.
I have a friend who worked at Perry Ellis.
And, uh, he felt
that people at his fashion house
were playing it a little safe.
So one day, he decided to be fearless.
He went against the grain and sent a line
of flannel and Doc Martens
down the runway.
Critics crucified him.
[laughing] What kind of idiot
puts a beanie on Kate Moss?
He totally bombed.
And his bosses at Perry Ellis fired him
on the spot.
It was the most compelling runway
I've ever seen.
Sometimes friction means
you're in the right place.
I have to make the rounds.
Before you go,
who is your designer friend?
Marc Jacobs.
Hmm.
I'll keep my eye out for his name.
I'll do the same for yours.
-[classical music playing]
-[caterer] Are you kidding me?
The studio was suing me.
I've gone bankrupt because of this.
[Eva] I don't know what you're talking
about, but I'm-I'm so sorry
What's going on? Are the passed apps
not getting passed enough?
I'm not sure.
The caterer recognized your mom
-and started freaking out.
-Your hotshot husband destroyed my career.
Oh, my God.
That's my dad's botched nose job lady.
-[gasps]
-[caterer] I've had to take any job
just to pay
for my reconstructive surgeries.
He didn't bankrupt you.
Your money problems were
all over Page Six well before
you ever stepped foot into Wyatt's office.
I made a few bad financial decisions,
okay?
But this isn't about the money.
They took away
my cover of Soap Opera Digest.
All right? They gave it to Kelly Ripa.
Kelly Ripa!
[Eva] You and I should have
a private conversation
-somewhere.
-Oh. Oh, private.
I'm so sorry. I'm being too loud for you.
I'm embarrassing you!
I wonder what that feels like.
I-I know that he made a mistake--
A mistake.
This is more than a mistake, okay?
He ruined my life.
[whispering] This is bad.
[security guard] Please,
-come on.
-I'm-I'm not going to cause a scene.
-She's fine.
-I just want to talk to her. I--
I I'm fine. You're a monster!
Monster!
I don't know. She's, you know
Uh, I mean, I think her anger issues
probably cost her her career.
That's sad. And-and not Wyatt's
very minor mistake, Jordan. Um
But in-in some ways, some-some might say
that Wyatt actually helped her career
because I don't know
that she should have done that soap cover.
This nose might have opened up her career.
She could be
smelling success.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hi.
Hey, hey, are-are you all right?
My dad's PR person can make this
go away like that.
-Okay.
-Just say the word.
Word.
Okay. Uh, maybe I can
talk to my mom alone for a second?
Of course.
-Hey, hey, hey.
-Excuse me, sir.
What what are you
what are you going to do?
I don't know.
I think I'm gonna send her flowers
-tomorrow morning, and hope
-Okay.
that everything will be okay.
I just I feel like
we keep running away from our problems
instead of facing them head-on.
You and Dad. Me and
basically everyone in Seattle.
Okay.
What if we went back?
L.A. is an easy fix to a hard problem.
Sweetie.
And-and something I'm realizing is,
I miss doing things the hard way.
Seattle has friction.
And-and I think I need that.
Fashion will always be here for me,
but I still have a lot of life to learn.
I know you just got your life back.
Let's do it. [sniffles]
-Really?
-Yeah.
I think it's a great idea.
Let's go.
And I have some
friction that I need to face, too.
Uh, maybe tomorrow?
-Okay.
-Yeah.
What about what about
the Golden Globes?
Well, there's this thing
called an Informal
in Seattle I think I'd rather be at.
Okay.
Oh, there's, um
there's just one more thing I need to do.
Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
[Madison laughs]
Who are we spying on?
Mm. I thought these agents
would have some good gossip,
but it's just a boring story
about Mr. Holland's Opus.
Hmm.
How is she?
She'll be okay.
And are you still hiding from Josh?
Not actively.
I actually wanted
to talk to you about something.
You're going back to Seattle.
Well, how-how did you--?
I know you.
Your heart's still there.
But I don't want
to make the same mistakes as last time.
Our friendship means so much to me,
and I want to be better
about checking in and visiting.
You know, the thing about being friends
with someone like you
is knowing when to let them shine.
-Mm.
-Mm.
[indistinct P.A. announcement]
Here we go.
[Elle sighs]
Someone's getting better
about not barking the entire flight.
Our little jet-setter.
[upbeat music playing]
I'm gonna go meet Dad outside.
You take your time.
Hey.
I'm not sure
if you ever want to speak to me again,
but the only thing weirder
than talking to you
feels like not talking to you.
Are you?
I'm coming. You?
Going.
Back to my dad's house.
I was only here
to get some things in order,
and if I'm being honest
To blow up my life a little?
A little.
Yeah, I deserved it.
I'm sorry
for outing your kiss to the school.
I think a big reason
I was so mad at you guys was because
I was mad at myself for breaking up
with him in the first place.
And at the universe
for taking my mom away.
I'm sorry. For everything.
[sniffles] I don't want
to be mad at you forever.
Or him.
You guys have to live your lives,
and I have to live mine.
[plane engine whirring]
[woman over P.A.] Final boarding
for Denver Flight 712.
Please report to gate
Am I the only thing
stopping you from being with him?
Probably.
Well, I'm okay.
[laughs]
Byes.
Byes.
So, are you excited to be back?
[woman over P.A.] The curbside loading
zone is for quick passenger pickup.
Please do not leave vehicles unattended.
I said, are you excited to be back?
No.
Sorry. I didn't want to get into this
until later, but if you're asking me
no.
Okay, I know you and Seattle didn't
get off on the best start,
and I think maybe
it's because we didn't try--
Seattle's not the problem.
Okay.
It's just been easier to blame Seattle
because it's so easy to blame Seattle
than to dig into the thing
that's actually making me unhappy.
Which is?
I've let your career dictate my life.
And then you made this mistake
that turned our lives upside down,
and I just let you.
Didn't you just do that?
Didn't you just spearhead
that whole Cosmo thing with Elle,
and you didn't even ask me
how I felt about it?
Yes, exactly.
Because the Woods family policy is
to just avoid our problems at all costs.
And I sent in Elle's Cosmo application
because I didn't want
to admit how unhappy I am.
I was running from you
and our problems,
and I have to just face them
head-on.
Well, what does that look like?
[Eva] Oh.
Hi, Dad!
[horns honking]
Hey, I know I acted all cool
and put on a brave face
when we spoke on the phone,
but I really missed you.
Well, you cried
almost every time we spoke.
Yeah.
And I'm-I'm so happy to see you, too,
uh, but there's a Winter Informal
I really need to get to so--
Copy that.
Chad and Charlie said that your friend Liz
is performing tonight.
-She's what?
-Yeah.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, up until 24 hours ago,
you were still living in L.A.
I can't miss Liz's debut as the next
um famous girl singer
she'd have a reference for.
-Carole King.
-Step on it, please.
-Go, honey.
-[Elle] Please.
[engine revving]
-[overlapping chatter]
-[rock music playing]
-Sorry.
-[microphone feedback squeals]
[Todd] Check. One, two.
Hey. Can I help?
Uh, I got it.
Okay, well, I'm gonna do it anyway.
[laughs]
Uh, how's it looking out there?
Oh, there's so many people.
Yeah, it's wild.
Are you good?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
It's me.
Yeah, I'm kind of freaking out
a little bit.
Uh, well, now I'm freaking out more.
It was supposed
to have the opposite effect.
Why would that have the opposite effect?
I don't know.
-[microphone feedback squeals]
-[Todd] Check. One, two.
-[tapping on microphone]
-Check, check.
Okay.
Let's do it again.
[microphone feedback squeals]
[tapping on microphone]
[Todd] Liz Miller to the stage, please.
-Liz Miller to the stage.
-Shut up, Todd.
-[microphone thuds]
-[feedback squeals]
[Liz laughs]
[horns honking]
What is this? It's not even rush hour.
Oh, there's a Nirvana tribute thing
happening at Mercer Arena.
-Oh.
-Wait.
[Wyatt] It's just a cover band.
I mean, it's not even
the original lineup for obvious reasons.
I didn't make this big,
life-changing choice
just to screw up the physical embodiment
of this big, life-changing choice.
Well, I respect that, sweetie,
but it's not like I can move these cars.
-[horns honking]
-[Elle sighing]
[applause and cheering]
[whooping]
[clears throat]
Hi. Ooh.
Uh, hi. Um, my name is--
I don't know what I'm doing.
You already know, uh, who I am.
-Um
-[man] Go, Liz!
-[applause and cheering]
-[woman] Go, Liz!
[band playing rock intro]
Do you want to be my friend? ♪
If you do, then we can go anywhere ♪
You and me, we don't pretend
I'm making a run for it.
[horns honking]
[Eva] Wait.
No. I know what you're gonna say,
and you're gonna try
and talk me out of it,
but I promise I will be safe.
I just need you to trust me, okay?
-You forgot something.
-'Cause one of these days ♪
I'm gonna figure it out ♪
Do you want to walk around? ♪
If you do,
then we can go everywhere
Thank you.
Go.
Okay.
-Bye, Dad.
-[Wyatt] Good luck.
-[gasps]
-Come on!
♪
Okay, I get your point ♪
-[bicycle bell dings]
-Oh, um
I might be out of my mind
Think she'll make it?
She'll make it.
And in heels.
I'll get it right ♪
Don't hate me, don't hate me ♪
don't hate me ♪
Just maybe, just maybe, just maybe ♪
you made me ♪
-you made me, you made me ♪
-[horns honking]
figure it out ♪
-You figure it out ♪
-You got this!
Don't hate me, don't hate me,
don't hate me ♪
Just maybe, just maybe, just maybe ♪
you made me, you made me, you made me ♪
figure it out ♪
You figure it out ♪
Don't hate me, don't hate me,
don't hate me ♪
Just maybe, just maybe, just maybe ♪
you made me, you made me,
you made me figure it out ♪
-You figure it out ♪♪
-[panting]
[crowd cheering]
They did this themselves.
[hopeful music playing]
Snowflakes.
[laughs]
Oh.
-[song ends]
-[applause and cheering]
I missed it? Did I miss it?
[applause and cheering]
[woman] Encore, Liz! Whoo!
Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Pardon me. Sorry.
In "a vernacular we'll all understand,"
here's a Nirvana song.
I know that one.
Actually, technically, it's a
it's a cover of a cover
because, technically,
Nirvana covered this themselves, so, um
-[drummer] Just play the song.
-Right. Um
[band playing "Love Buzz"]
[crowd cheering]
Go, Liz!
[whistling and cheering]
♪
[guitar playing]
Would you believe me when I tell you ♪
you are the queen of my heart? ♪
Please don't deceive me
when I hurt you ♪
Just ain't the way it seems ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel
my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel my love ♪
buzz? ♪
She's really good, right?
Figured you'd be at your awards ceremony.
This felt more important.
You really hate me, huh?
What happened to the Elle Woods
who never gives up?
You are the queen of my heart? ♪
-I didn't give up.
-Right.
Well, okay, I technically did,
but I also I also apologized.
I called, I even emailed.
-No one wanted to hear it.
-Because we were hurt.
I was hurt.
And then you just left.
Why'd you ask me to the dance?
What?
Why did you ask me to the dance?
Why did you say yes?
[vocalizing]
Are you seriously gonna
make me say this out loud?
Love buzz ♪
Love buzz ♪
♪
♪
Would you believe me when I tell you ♪
you are the queen of my heart? ♪
Just don't deceive me when I hurt you ♪
Just ain't the way it seems ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel
my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪♪
-I don't want to look at you.
I don't want to be around you,
and you can tell Elle
I am done with her, too.
I don't want to lose Shannon as a friend.
Previously on Elle
It's my mom.
They were there to arrest her.
Thousands of dollars in cash
was reported stolen from school today.
They found it in her car.
[Elle] You don't need to come
to your own defense
if we do it for you.
[suspenseful music playing]
It's everything we got
from Anderson's office.
What if the receipts aren't real?
Principal Anderson
was stealing money
because he was being blackmailed
-for his secret.
-[audience gasping]
But by whom?
Mayoral hopeful Dean Wilson,
you picked the wrong student body
to mess with.
[cheering and applause]
[cheerleaders] E-L-L-E. That's how we--
[student] She's back?
Shannon?
[Shannon] Turns out,
sweet, innocent Elle Woods
is nothing more
than a backstabbing blond bitch.
[Shannon] I think everyone
would like to hear more
from the great Elle Woods.
Uh, look, whatever you're about
to read right now,
I wrote it a long time ago.
I never thought they'd actually print it.
I'm sorry,
these logistics are fascinating,
but what is it she actually wrote?
Basically, we were a hardship
she had to overcome.
We're not as privileged as she is.
We're so focused on justice
that we don't care
that we dress like crap.
[others scoffing]
But don't worry,
she makes sure everyone knows
it's not our fault that we don't have
the access to the things that she does.
"What I've learned is to treat everyone
with love and kindness,
even if they don't have
a skin care routine."
[scoffs] It's not like anyone
was rolling out
the welcome wagon for me when I got here.
I mean, you all prejudged me, too.
[Kimberly] Was Donna mean to you, too?
Because, according to these,
when you got Donna fired,
you didn't care about her job.
You cared about your own "comeback."
-Well--
-And all that shit
about clearing Donna's name?
You just cared about looking like a hero
in front of the school
and all those cameras.
Well, now we know why your mom
was filming everything.
It wasn't like that. I
I just wanted to show I can make
a positive impact somewhere.
[scoffs]
I-I don't know. Elle's
also been pretty loyal.
I mean, she's annoyingly dependable.
[Shannon] "Loyal"
is an interesting word.
Because this is a person
who also kissed Miles
-[students gasping]
-the night my mom died.
[students murmuring]
Are you for real?
[dramatic music playing]
I know this all sounds bad, but--
It sounds bad because it is bad.
[somber music playing]
Please believe me. I want to be here.
Seattle doesn't want you here.
♪
[Eva in distance] I want you
to choose something for both of us.
[Wyatt] Why don't you just tell me
what you want to watch
instead of trying to make me guess?
[Eva] Here's a hint: it's not Road House.
Which we've watched, what,
a hundred times?
-[Wyatt] You love Road House.
-[Eva] No, you love Road House,
and I go along with it.
That's not the same thing.
I can't watch Patrick Swayze
rip someone's throat out one more time.
Oh, hey, honey.
We were just having a little--
Do you even realize what you've done?
I Okay. I hear your point,
but we were both fighting.
This isn't about you and Dad.
Who cares about Dad?
Hey.
Yeah, you're right. No.
Not-not the time to dissect that.
I'm gonna go.
I know you submitted my Cosmo application,
after I specifically told you
I didn't want to apply.
It doesn't even matter that I won,
-because everything else is gone--
-What? You won?
Oh, my God, that's am
awful.
I was finally making progress here,
and you threw it away.
I was just trying
to give you some options.
Well, it seems like option A
is everyone hates me
and option B is everyone really hates me.
And they should.
I really hurt their feelings.
But you were working so hard
on that application.
I just didn't want you to regret
making a rash decision by not applying.
So, you made a rash decision of your own.
[somber music playing]
Elle, you don't even like Seattle.
[softly] But I did.
I will fix this.
Just stay out of it this time.
I don't need your help.
[Ms. Burke over P.A.] Good morning,
students.
Let's talk about the plumbing situation.
I'm not sure what you guys
are putting in the urinals
in the boys' room, but
-Um
-[mouths]
No, I'm in the middle
I'm in the middle of morning--
[whispers] Just two minutes.
But w-we've said it before,
-the pipes are old and I--
-I have cards, I have cards.
[sighs]
[whispers] Okay.
Well, before we go,
a-a couple of very limited words
from Elle Woods.
Just press the button when you're ready.
[clears throat]
[microphone feedback squeals]
Thank you, Interim Principal Burke,
who I think we can all agree
is the fearless leader we need
-during these times.
-[laughs softly]
Okay, keep just keep talking.
To put it in a vernacular
I think you'll all understand
"What else should I be?
All apologies."
Kurt Cobain.
[sighs]
I know, due to recent events,
many of you believe that I think I'm
you know, too good for this place,
but that couldn't be further
from the truth.
I mean, I've actually learned
so much from you all.
Like the other day,
I caught myself frowning
and I didn't even try to correct it.
And I just did it again. [chuckles]
Which you can't see, but, uh yeah.
[exhales]
I know I can't deny I wrote
those horrible words in my essay
but I wrote them
before I fell in love with Seattle.
And before I got to know all of you.
I am so, so sorry for hurting the people
I've come to appreciate so much.
[Radiohead plays "Creep"]
[school bell ringing]
When you were here before ♪
couldn't look you in the eye ♪
You're just like an angel ♪
Your skin makes me cry ♪
You float like a feather ♪
in a beautiful world ♪
I wish I was special ♪
You're so fucking special ♪
But I'm a creep ♪
-I'm a weirdo ♪♪
-[line ringing]
[Eva over phone] Hello? Woods residence.
Mom, you were right.
I'm only happy when it rains ♪
[Garbage sings
"I'm Only Happy When It Rains"]
I'm only happy when it's complicated ♪
And though I know you can't ♪
appreciate it ♪
I'm only happy when it rains ♪
Pour your ♪
-misery down ♪
-Pour your misery ♪
-Pour your misery down on me ♪
-down, pour your misery ♪
-Pour your misery down ♪
-down, pour ♪
You can keep me company as long as ♪
you don't care ♪
I'm only happy when it rains ♪
You wanna hear about my new obsession? ♪
I'm riding high upon ♪
a deep depression ♪
I'm only happy when it rains ♪
Pour some misery down on me ♪
I'm only happy when it rains ♪♪
[Spin Doctors play "Two Princes"]
[both babbling rhythmically]
This one, he got a princely racket ♪
That's what I said now ♪
Got some big seal up on his jacket ♪
Ain't in his head now ♪
You marry him,
your father will condone you ♪
How 'bout that now? ♪
You marry me,
your father will disown you ♪
He'll eat his hat now ♪
Marry him or marry me ♪
I'm the one that loves you, baby,
can't you see? ♪
I ain't got no future or a family tree ♪
but I know what a prince
and lover ought to be ♪
I know what a prince and lover
ought to be ♪
Said if you want to call me "baby" ♪
just go ahead now ♪
And if you like to tell me maybe ♪
just go ahead now ♪♪
Hey, Mom!
[Eva in distance] I'm up here.
[Elle] Coming.
[Bruiser barking]
[gasps]
[Eva] Welcome to Bruiser's new palace.
-[gasps]
-[laughs] I know.
-Oh, my.
-I know, I know.
[Elle] He's always wanted a canopy.
I know.
And I'm just getting him
resettled into his pied-à-terre.
-Aww.
-How was school?
-It was great.
-[exhales] Aww.
I was still fluent in 99% of the gossip.
It was like I never left.
See, L.A. doesn't hold grudges
like Seattle.
Even with your dad's whole nose situation,
I feel like people
don't hold it against us.
Uh, what does Dad think?
I'm sure he would be happy for us.
[exhales] You haven't talked to him?
Well, we are big believers
in "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Does he know that?
Oh, before I forget, I just RSVP'd for us
to that pre-Golden Globes party
at Candy Spelling's Canyon house.
[laughs softly]
To think we almost missed
such an important night
for a bunch of people
who don't even like me.
You still haven't heard
from anyone from Seattle?
They have had all of winter break
to respond to my calls. [inhales]
I just need to move on
and find people who like me for me.
Honestly, this internship
couldn't have come at a better time.
Tomorrow is such an important step
toward your future.
And you can do anything.
Remember that.
[Ace of Base plays "Beautiful Life"]
You can do what you want,
just seize the day ♪
What you're doin' tomorrow's
gonna come your way ♪
Don't you ever consider givin' up ♪
You will find, oh-oh ♪
It's a beautiful life ♪
oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
It's a beautiful life ♪
oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
It's a beautiful life ♪
oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
I just want to be here beside you ♪♪
So, this is obviously
the first day of the rest of your lives.
I did this internship ten years ago,
and now I am an executive assistant.
You're all Cosmo Girls
or you wouldn't be here,
but let's go over some do's and don'ts.
-You. Denim.
-Do.
-Bodysuits.
-Don't.
-Minimalism.
-Do.
But I think it's cresting.
Being a Cosmo Girl
is all about being current.
There is a shared language in fashion,
and you all need to speak it.
And I can't help but notice
that no one is writing this down.
Now, I wasn't sure if I wanted
to save this until tomorrow, but
well, seeing your
eager little faces, I just
I have to tell you.
Does everyone know who Anna St. George is?
-She's my favorite stylist of all time.
-I once wrote a petition
to the Nobel Prize committee to honor
her work in the field of faux fur.
Well, we work with her
a lot here at Cosmo,
and your week is going to end
with a styling session with her.
Like, in the flesh.
You can clap.
[applause]
Now, whoever impresses her the most
will get to assist her
at the Golden Globes,
where she will be styling
Heather Locklear.
Okay, pinch me.
-Ah!
-[chuckles]
Your homework for tomorrow
will be to present me
with different accessories
that you think could work for Heather.
You're all here for a reason.
Now it's time for you to prove it.
[vibrant music playing]
[Madison] Do you think that Patrick Swayze
will be there?
-I hope so.
-Oh, my God.
-I might actually lose my mind.
-[both laugh]
[Tiffany] Does this say
"Golden Globes party"?
[Amber] Mm, no, that feels more
People's Choice.
[gasps] Ooh, what about this
for your Cosmo homework?
[gasps] I love that. Who's the designer?
Eh. I heard they have
unethical labor practices.
What?
Uh, never mind.
I don't know why I said that.
Must be a Seattle thing. [chuckles]
[chuckles] Yeah,
Seattle can get to your head like that.
Yeah, Madison was only there a few days
before she started making out
with some activist guy.
-[scoffs]
-What?
[whispers] She didn't know.
Oh. I mean
maybe that happened,
but also, I-I could be wrong.
Maybe you guys could find
that purse in a vegan leather?
[laughs softly]
Yeah, that purse doesn't
come in a vegan leather.
You kissed Dustin?
Yes.
Um
Uh, why didn't you tell me?
Well, we were fighting.
Which would have been bad enough, but
considering we were fighting about
how much you had been withholding from me,
I don't know, maybe there was
some tit for tat in there?
I'm sorry. I should've told you.
But I don't want to keep things
from each other anymore.
I feel like we just got back
to a good place.
Yeah, we have.
In the spirit of being honest
with each other, can I ask you something?
Of course.
Based on your face and your whole
everything, right now
do you have a crush on Dustin?
Uh no.
I don't.
I mean, if anyone in Seattle
was crush material, it was Miles.
I just feel bad that I made you feel like
you couldn't tell me things.
I should have fought harder
for our friendship.
Okay, well, I could have been
more understanding when I came to visit.
Well, I could be more understanding
that you were less understanding.
-Aww.
-Oh [tongue clicks]
Elle.
Are you sure you don't like him?
[scoffs] He's running around
kissing my best friend.
Clearly, I don't know him
as well as I thought.
[Ms. Burke over P.A.] Good morning,
students.
Today's announcements
start with some bad news.
As your interim principal,
I've had to make the very hard decision
to cancel winter formal.
Now, the school board is still
in the process of digging itself out
of the financial hole
some recent events have put us in.
Now, I know this isn't the outcome
that you all would have hoped.
Uh, and that concludes
this morning's announcements.
Dude, does this mean we can suck
the helium out of the balloon arch?
[scattered laughter]
Have you heard from her again?
No.
She reached out a few times
after she left, but, uh, I wasn't ready.
I mean, I always thought
she'd dump us for L.A., and here we are.
We can just go back
to the status quo now, right?
It's kind of messed up that she just left
without saying goodbye, though.
Sure, we were all mad at her and weren't
talking to her, but she just bailed.
-Mm-hmm.
-I guess now she can go
to her precious Golden Globes, though.
-Right.
-What?
Normally, I only see you this fired up
about, like, Freeing Tibet.
So?
So, I wonder if you, perhaps,
are having this reaction
because you miss her?
I wonder if you should,
perhaps, stop talking.
[school bell ringing]
[Amber] Bet you didn't have
morning coffees on the quad in Seattle.
[scoffs] I think that "coffee"
is the only part of that sentence
that existed in Seattle.
You didn't have mornings?
-Well Oh.
-Oh.
Hey.
Hi.
He just said hi to you.
-And you said hi back.
-That's basically third base.
You'll be kissing in no time,
three-point plan style.
Oh, maybe it could even happen
at the pre-Golden Globes party.
He's gonna be there.
His aunt did the set design on Cybill.
Ooh, that'll give you guys
time to figure out
your best couple angles
for prom portraits.
I-I can't believe
that it's already prom season.
Like, didn't we just have winter formal
before the holiday break?
Oh, my God. Winter formal.
Oh, you didn't miss much.
Chad and Becca broke up again.
-Then they got back together again.
-Mm-hmm.
No, I totally forgot to tell Donna
about a balloon arch
I had ordered to Rainier West for our
their winter formal.
[sighs] I hope someone signed for it.
I should have told them
to position it on the west wall
for the most dramatic entry experience
before I left.
I'm sure it's fine.
Can't they figure out
their own balloon arch logistics?
You're right.
I just don't like leaving
odds and ends undone.
[school bell ringing]
-[door closes]
-[Miles] Hey, Dad.
Miles. Guess who's here.
[Miles] Oh.
Mr. Woods. Hi.
Your dads have been so nice,
inviting me over so much
now that Eva and Elle are gone.
-Oh, I just spoke to Elle.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-How-how is she?
Hmm? Oh, well, you know,
she's great.
You know? She loves L.A.
Really sounds like she's thriving there.
-Yeah!
-Mm-hmm.
That's cool.
Yeah, and because of
the whole internship thing,
she gets to go to the Golden Globes,
which has always been her dream.
I am so happy for her.
Even if I can't show my face in L.A.
The whole "persona non grata" thing.
So, uh, has-has she mentioned
anything else or
you know, like, any-anyone else?
What do you mean?
Like, uh
I don't know,
anything about Seattle, or
-Anything?
-Mm, mm-mm.
[Charlie] Check
this out.
[Miles] Whoa.
What's with the banner?
Elle approached me
with one of her genius ideas
at the homecoming meet.
Her thought was that small businesses
sponsor the dance,
and that money goes to the support staff.
It's win-win.
That's, uh
not a bad idea.
Hey. Can we talk?
Well, you just cut me,
so we're not off to a great start.
Okay, whatever. Look.
I have some intel,
seems kind of like a you thing.
I'm fascinated to see what you think
a "me" thing is.
This is fun.
The thing is about Elle.
Hey, you remember the dance
she was planning?
You mean the one she asked me to?
She asked you?
Yeah.
Clearly, she has good taste.
Okay.
So, I guess her whole thing was,
it wasn't really even about being a dance.
It was a fundraiser for the support staff,
which would've helped even more now,
since they got boned
by Principal Anderson and Dean.
All right, look, I know
the dance was canceled,
but doesn't it seem like
she was on to something?
Unfortunately, yes. It's a good idea.
I mean, not the dancing part
or the school-sanctioned part
or any of Elle Woodsy stuff,
but the fundraising, that's good.
So, should we do that?
-We could call Elle.
-[both] No.
We wouldn't do the Elle version.
What's the one thing everyone
at this school agrees is worthwhile?
CarpetMart.
We could ask Bob's Your Uncle to perform,
and donate the proceeds?
I mean, it'd basically be like
our version of Live Aid.
Except for school secretaries
instead of famine.
Yep, that's good.
We could call it our "Winter Informal."
-Let's do it.
-Liz, you're good at zines,
so we'll put you in charge of the flyers.
Uh, I'm good at getting
the word out, so I'll do that.
And you can, I don't know, uh,
sweet-talk all the local businesses
into sponsoring the event.
[Kimberly] And I could provide the drinks.
My parents never lock
their liquor cabinet.
-Great.
-I love that you're doing this
to spite Elle.
I mean, I tried to tell everyone
that L.A. people are entitled.
Let the record state we're doing this
out of a desire to help others,
not to spite Elle Woods.
[Miles] Exactly.
That's what I was saying.
The important thing
is that we're doing this our way.
[all] Not Elle's.
Not Elle's.
[line ringing]
[Donna] Rainier West High School.
Donna?
Elle Woods!
Hi. I just called to apologize.
There was a balloon arch situation
I completely mishandled.
Uh, yeah, I'm not sure if that's an issue.
No one's talking about it?
Not that I've heard of.
Well, great.
Hey, your dance is back on, baby.
I didn't know it was off.
Yeah, it was,
but, uh, Liz and Dustin and Miles
and, believe it or not,
Kimberly got it back on track.
Oh.
Yeah. It's less of a dance and more
of a concert at CarpetMart, but
I'm-I'm actually a little fuzzy
on the creative.
But it involves raising money
for the school.
And get this.
They're calling it a Winter Informal.
-That's-that's great.
-Yeah, well,
you know these kids. They always march
to the beat of their own drum.
Yeah, they definitely do.
Hey, so, how's
your whatchamacallit? Uh, internship?
Oh, uh, it's awesome, actually.
Do you know Heather Locklear?
Um, I'm sorry, Elle. I have to go.
There's a whole blood thing
happening here.
I'm glad you're happy.
This is what you wanted.
-Yeah.
-[dial tone]
[dramatic music playing]
-And that goes with that?
-Exactly.
I know her reputation precedes her,
but be prepared
for Anna to be savage.
She once pulled Karl Lagerfeld
out of a cat adoption ceremony
to berate him
for sending her the wrong pants.
Hmm. Not bad.
Thank you.
I'm impressed.
Everyone here is on trend,
which means, you're all on the right path.
You have very similar taste, actually.
We chose well.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
That we have the same taste, I mean?
I think it's good.
We're all channeling
our inner and outer Cosmo Girl.
[Lindsay] You knocked it out of the park.
I'll be presenting all of your choices
to Anna St. George at the styling session.
-[gasps]
-My God.
Particularly you, Elle.
You have a real knack for this.
So, how is the Winter Informal
planning going?
Uh, it's pretty complicated,
but we'll figure it out.
Elle called the school.
Hmm.
Yeah. Pretty sure she just wanted to hear
how everything was going at school, but
definitely sounds like
she misses everybody.
[scoffs] Right.
Can I say something?
I have a feeling you will anyway.
She obviously messed up. Big-time.
And I'm not happy
about anybody hurting your feelings.
But do you think
there's a chance that your reaction
to all this isn't even totally about Elle?
I mean, what else could it be about?
Well, sweetie, you have had a fear
of abandonment since you were little.
Justifiably, with your dad and all.
So you think this thing
with Elle just fed into that?
[timer dings]
I'm just saying,
maybe one day,
you could cut her the smallest break.
I mean, she did basically save me
from serving three to ten years in jail.
[upbeat music playing]
Janet, can you put that rack there?
No, not that rack.
That rack. Over there.
Where is her Tab?
She has to have her room-temperature Tab.
I have it.
Thank you.
We have your first choice look
on the mannequin over there.
And then those accessories
we talked about.
The interns and I found some earrings
that feel pretty perfect.
Can I just say, it's an absolute--?
Oh.
[Lindsay] Oh, they're lovely, right?
The only thing more impressive
than the interns' eye for earrings
is maybe my eye for talent.
[laughs] That
That was a joke.
Unless you don't want it to be.
That's nice.
Wait.
I just want to say,
this look is very 1994 Vogue.
[Lindsay] This is Elle, our most
opinionated intern, who I'm sure means
that 1994 Vogue is a great thing.
It is.
But it's also safe.
Can I just?
Okay.
-[Lindsay gasps loudly]
-[others gasp]
[gasps]
A Cosmo Girl is fearless.
And I'm sorry,
but everyone in this room is full of fear.
[hopeful music playing]
And we'd continue these safety pins
to our mid-thigh
with a sheer lining underneath.
To me, fearless is finding something new.
Good instinct.
[Todd] Okay, but Pavement
is so much better than
The Smashing Pumpkins,
it is actually insane.
See, that is where you're wrong.
Oh, really?
[entry bells jingle]
Ooh, not it.
Let me guess.
You want the new PJ Harvey?
-Obviously.
-Should be in alt rock.
Subsection punk blues.
Sub-subsection female punk blues.
-Hmm.
-And also, right here.
How pissed are you at Elle?
Uh, pretty pissed.
But working on it.
That's generous of you.
Well, my mom pointed out
that my reaction to Elle might be
a tiny bit influenced
by a general fear of abandonment.
With my dad.
With certain people
who hooked up with me at summer camp
and then made sure
no one ever, ever found out.
Would you like a bag?
Not no one.
I told Shannon.
Oh.
I, uh, didn't know that.
Yeah.
Oh, uh, anyway, so I-I really came by
because I have some bad news.
Well, good news disguised as bad news.
Bob's Your Uncle broke up,
so they can't perform at CarpetMart.
So we're screwed.
Yes, I can totally see
how that might be good news.
Can you let me finish?
I was thinking that maybe
you would want to perform instead.
[laughs]
Yeah, in what world?
-This one.
-[scoffs]
The only person who has ever seen me
perform in public is my mom.
And that's because she came home early
one time when I was singing in my room.
Hmm.
But your music's really good.
You haven't heard my music.
Uh, like, only three people
have ever bought that tape, so
Duh.
Sick. Uh, yeah.
Yeah, it's, uh
Just think about it.
[entry bells jingle]
[indistinct chatter]
So, how does it feel to be back?
Vanessa, is there a word
stronger than ecstasy?
-She said, "Good instinct."
-I know. [laughs]
There was, like, five seconds
I thought I'd gotten myself banned
from the world of fashion
and possibly the world itself for life.
-[laughter]
-But it was, like,
everything inside of me was telling
to trust my gut and be my own self.
Way to be profound, Elle.
[Elle] I just kept thinking
about this thing
Liz told me when I went to this pool party
that wasn't actually a pool party,
-in a bikini--
-Liz who ran you out of Seattle?
Yes.
Sort of. It's more nuanced than that.
-Mm.
-Mm.
Is that Heather Locklear?
Oh, hi, Heather.
Oh, my God,
I am addicted to Melrose Place.
Ooh, Elle, we need to go say hi to her.
Uh, more importantly,
Hot Josh at 12.
-[Amber] Now 11:45.
-[Tiffany] Now 12:15.
-Now--
-Scatter.
-Yeah.
-Oh.
[Hot Josh] Hey.
Do you think we could talk somewhere?
Absolutely.
I just remembered, I have to pee.
[classical music playing]
Um
[indistinct chatter]
Excuse me.
[Anna St. George] You can sit.
How did you--?
Please don't draw attention to yourself.
I'm hiding.
Um, who-who are you hiding from?
Everyone.
I'm hiding, too.
Not from everyone.
Just a boy.
Hmm. What's wrong with him? Too short?
-Too dumb?
-[sighs]
Too expected.
You impressed me the other day.
Wow. That means
-well, everything.
-You don't have to do that.
-Everyone does that.
-No, no, I
I mean it. I mean,
your opinion means a lot to me.
Well, you're going to assist me
at the Golden Globes tomorrow.
Oh.
That's typically followed
by a high-pitched scream.
No, trust me, I'm screaming internally.
I've imagined this happening
so many times,
and now it finally is, and
It feels
Expected?
Yeah.
It's a long story, but I spent
last semester
somewhere really out of my comfort zone.
It was the first time in my life I felt
challenged.
And now I'm here, doing what I love,
and it's not
challenging.
I have a friend who worked at Perry Ellis.
And, uh, he felt
that people at his fashion house
were playing it a little safe.
So one day, he decided to be fearless.
He went against the grain and sent a line
of flannel and Doc Martens
down the runway.
Critics crucified him.
[laughing] What kind of idiot
puts a beanie on Kate Moss?
He totally bombed.
And his bosses at Perry Ellis fired him
on the spot.
It was the most compelling runway
I've ever seen.
Sometimes friction means
you're in the right place.
I have to make the rounds.
Before you go,
who is your designer friend?
Marc Jacobs.
Hmm.
I'll keep my eye out for his name.
I'll do the same for yours.
-[classical music playing]
-[caterer] Are you kidding me?
The studio was suing me.
I've gone bankrupt because of this.
[Eva] I don't know what you're talking
about, but I'm-I'm so sorry
What's going on? Are the passed apps
not getting passed enough?
I'm not sure.
The caterer recognized your mom
-and started freaking out.
-Your hotshot husband destroyed my career.
Oh, my God.
That's my dad's botched nose job lady.
-[gasps]
-[caterer] I've had to take any job
just to pay
for my reconstructive surgeries.
He didn't bankrupt you.
Your money problems were
all over Page Six well before
you ever stepped foot into Wyatt's office.
I made a few bad financial decisions,
okay?
But this isn't about the money.
They took away
my cover of Soap Opera Digest.
All right? They gave it to Kelly Ripa.
Kelly Ripa!
[Eva] You and I should have
a private conversation
-somewhere.
-Oh. Oh, private.
I'm so sorry. I'm being too loud for you.
I'm embarrassing you!
I wonder what that feels like.
I-I know that he made a mistake--
A mistake.
This is more than a mistake, okay?
He ruined my life.
[whispering] This is bad.
[security guard] Please,
-come on.
-I'm-I'm not going to cause a scene.
-She's fine.
-I just want to talk to her. I--
I I'm fine. You're a monster!
Monster!
I don't know. She's, you know
Uh, I mean, I think her anger issues
probably cost her her career.
That's sad. And-and not Wyatt's
very minor mistake, Jordan. Um
But in-in some ways, some-some might say
that Wyatt actually helped her career
because I don't know
that she should have done that soap cover.
This nose might have opened up her career.
She could be
smelling success.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hi.
Hey, hey, are-are you all right?
My dad's PR person can make this
go away like that.
-Okay.
-Just say the word.
Word.
Okay. Uh, maybe I can
talk to my mom alone for a second?
Of course.
-Hey, hey, hey.
-Excuse me, sir.
What what are you
what are you going to do?
I don't know.
I think I'm gonna send her flowers
-tomorrow morning, and hope
-Okay.
that everything will be okay.
I just I feel like
we keep running away from our problems
instead of facing them head-on.
You and Dad. Me and
basically everyone in Seattle.
Okay.
What if we went back?
L.A. is an easy fix to a hard problem.
Sweetie.
And-and something I'm realizing is,
I miss doing things the hard way.
Seattle has friction.
And-and I think I need that.
Fashion will always be here for me,
but I still have a lot of life to learn.
I know you just got your life back.
Let's do it. [sniffles]
-Really?
-Yeah.
I think it's a great idea.
Let's go.
And I have some
friction that I need to face, too.
Uh, maybe tomorrow?
-Okay.
-Yeah.
What about what about
the Golden Globes?
Well, there's this thing
called an Informal
in Seattle I think I'd rather be at.
Okay.
Oh, there's, um
there's just one more thing I need to do.
Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
[Madison laughs]
Who are we spying on?
Mm. I thought these agents
would have some good gossip,
but it's just a boring story
about Mr. Holland's Opus.
Hmm.
How is she?
She'll be okay.
And are you still hiding from Josh?
Not actively.
I actually wanted
to talk to you about something.
You're going back to Seattle.
Well, how-how did you--?
I know you.
Your heart's still there.
But I don't want
to make the same mistakes as last time.
Our friendship means so much to me,
and I want to be better
about checking in and visiting.
You know, the thing about being friends
with someone like you
is knowing when to let them shine.
-Mm.
-Mm.
[indistinct P.A. announcement]
Here we go.
[Elle sighs]
Someone's getting better
about not barking the entire flight.
Our little jet-setter.
[upbeat music playing]
I'm gonna go meet Dad outside.
You take your time.
Hey.
I'm not sure
if you ever want to speak to me again,
but the only thing weirder
than talking to you
feels like not talking to you.
Are you?
I'm coming. You?
Going.
Back to my dad's house.
I was only here
to get some things in order,
and if I'm being honest
To blow up my life a little?
A little.
Yeah, I deserved it.
I'm sorry
for outing your kiss to the school.
I think a big reason
I was so mad at you guys was because
I was mad at myself for breaking up
with him in the first place.
And at the universe
for taking my mom away.
I'm sorry. For everything.
[sniffles] I don't want
to be mad at you forever.
Or him.
You guys have to live your lives,
and I have to live mine.
[plane engine whirring]
[woman over P.A.] Final boarding
for Denver Flight 712.
Please report to gate
Am I the only thing
stopping you from being with him?
Probably.
Well, I'm okay.
[laughs]
Byes.
Byes.
So, are you excited to be back?
[woman over P.A.] The curbside loading
zone is for quick passenger pickup.
Please do not leave vehicles unattended.
I said, are you excited to be back?
No.
Sorry. I didn't want to get into this
until later, but if you're asking me
no.
Okay, I know you and Seattle didn't
get off on the best start,
and I think maybe
it's because we didn't try--
Seattle's not the problem.
Okay.
It's just been easier to blame Seattle
because it's so easy to blame Seattle
than to dig into the thing
that's actually making me unhappy.
Which is?
I've let your career dictate my life.
And then you made this mistake
that turned our lives upside down,
and I just let you.
Didn't you just do that?
Didn't you just spearhead
that whole Cosmo thing with Elle,
and you didn't even ask me
how I felt about it?
Yes, exactly.
Because the Woods family policy is
to just avoid our problems at all costs.
And I sent in Elle's Cosmo application
because I didn't want
to admit how unhappy I am.
I was running from you
and our problems,
and I have to just face them
head-on.
Well, what does that look like?
[Eva] Oh.
Hi, Dad!
[horns honking]
Hey, I know I acted all cool
and put on a brave face
when we spoke on the phone,
but I really missed you.
Well, you cried
almost every time we spoke.
Yeah.
And I'm-I'm so happy to see you, too,
uh, but there's a Winter Informal
I really need to get to so--
Copy that.
Chad and Charlie said that your friend Liz
is performing tonight.
-She's what?
-Yeah.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, up until 24 hours ago,
you were still living in L.A.
I can't miss Liz's debut as the next
um famous girl singer
she'd have a reference for.
-Carole King.
-Step on it, please.
-Go, honey.
-[Elle] Please.
[engine revving]
-[overlapping chatter]
-[rock music playing]
-Sorry.
-[microphone feedback squeals]
[Todd] Check. One, two.
Hey. Can I help?
Uh, I got it.
Okay, well, I'm gonna do it anyway.
[laughs]
Uh, how's it looking out there?
Oh, there's so many people.
Yeah, it's wild.
Are you good?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
It's me.
Yeah, I'm kind of freaking out
a little bit.
Uh, well, now I'm freaking out more.
It was supposed
to have the opposite effect.
Why would that have the opposite effect?
I don't know.
-[microphone feedback squeals]
-[Todd] Check. One, two.
-[tapping on microphone]
-Check, check.
Okay.
Let's do it again.
[microphone feedback squeals]
[tapping on microphone]
[Todd] Liz Miller to the stage, please.
-Liz Miller to the stage.
-Shut up, Todd.
-[microphone thuds]
-[feedback squeals]
[Liz laughs]
[horns honking]
What is this? It's not even rush hour.
Oh, there's a Nirvana tribute thing
happening at Mercer Arena.
-Oh.
-Wait.
[Wyatt] It's just a cover band.
I mean, it's not even
the original lineup for obvious reasons.
I didn't make this big,
life-changing choice
just to screw up the physical embodiment
of this big, life-changing choice.
Well, I respect that, sweetie,
but it's not like I can move these cars.
-[horns honking]
-[Elle sighing]
[applause and cheering]
[whooping]
[clears throat]
Hi. Ooh.
Uh, hi. Um, my name is--
I don't know what I'm doing.
You already know, uh, who I am.
-Um
-[man] Go, Liz!
-[applause and cheering]
-[woman] Go, Liz!
[band playing rock intro]
Do you want to be my friend? ♪
If you do, then we can go anywhere ♪
You and me, we don't pretend
I'm making a run for it.
[horns honking]
[Eva] Wait.
No. I know what you're gonna say,
and you're gonna try
and talk me out of it,
but I promise I will be safe.
I just need you to trust me, okay?
-You forgot something.
-'Cause one of these days ♪
I'm gonna figure it out ♪
Do you want to walk around? ♪
If you do,
then we can go everywhere
Thank you.
Go.
Okay.
-Bye, Dad.
-[Wyatt] Good luck.
-[gasps]
-Come on!
♪
Okay, I get your point ♪
-[bicycle bell dings]
-Oh, um
I might be out of my mind
Think she'll make it?
She'll make it.
And in heels.
I'll get it right ♪
Don't hate me, don't hate me ♪
don't hate me ♪
Just maybe, just maybe, just maybe ♪
you made me ♪
-you made me, you made me ♪
-[horns honking]
figure it out ♪
-You figure it out ♪
-You got this!
Don't hate me, don't hate me,
don't hate me ♪
Just maybe, just maybe, just maybe ♪
you made me, you made me, you made me ♪
figure it out ♪
You figure it out ♪
Don't hate me, don't hate me,
don't hate me ♪
Just maybe, just maybe, just maybe ♪
you made me, you made me,
you made me figure it out ♪
-You figure it out ♪♪
-[panting]
[crowd cheering]
They did this themselves.
[hopeful music playing]
Snowflakes.
[laughs]
Oh.
-[song ends]
-[applause and cheering]
I missed it? Did I miss it?
[applause and cheering]
[woman] Encore, Liz! Whoo!
Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Pardon me. Sorry.
In "a vernacular we'll all understand,"
here's a Nirvana song.
I know that one.
Actually, technically, it's a
it's a cover of a cover
because, technically,
Nirvana covered this themselves, so, um
-[drummer] Just play the song.
-Right. Um
[band playing "Love Buzz"]
[crowd cheering]
Go, Liz!
[whistling and cheering]
♪
[guitar playing]
Would you believe me when I tell you ♪
you are the queen of my heart? ♪
Please don't deceive me
when I hurt you ♪
Just ain't the way it seems ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel
my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel my love ♪
buzz? ♪
She's really good, right?
Figured you'd be at your awards ceremony.
This felt more important.
You really hate me, huh?
What happened to the Elle Woods
who never gives up?
You are the queen of my heart? ♪
-I didn't give up.
-Right.
Well, okay, I technically did,
but I also I also apologized.
I called, I even emailed.
-No one wanted to hear it.
-Because we were hurt.
I was hurt.
And then you just left.
Why'd you ask me to the dance?
What?
Why did you ask me to the dance?
Why did you say yes?
[vocalizing]
Are you seriously gonna
make me say this out loud?
Love buzz ♪
Love buzz ♪
♪
♪
Would you believe me when I tell you ♪
you are the queen of my heart? ♪
Just don't deceive me when I hurt you ♪
Just ain't the way it seems ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel
my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪
Can you feel my love buzz? ♪♪