Stick (2025) s01e08 Episode Script

Clark the Mark

[theme song playing]
[Clark] "When I was asked
to speak here today,
I almost said no."
[chuckles]
"I don't like rehearsed speeches."
[sighs] That's no good.
"Rehearsed speeches feel fake to me.
I prefer speaking from the heart."
[technician] Turn around.
Not too orange.
- "I hate prepared speeches."
- [machine spraying]
"I prefer to just speak from the heart.
Whenever I talk to potential students,
like yourselves"
I always worry it'll come off
as opportunistic
or, I don't know, as corny.
But it's truly from the heart
when I say I love golf.
To me, it's a passion.
And that's what
the Ross Golf Academy is built upon.
Passion.
[chattering]
- [golfer 1] Clark, over here!
- [golfer 2] Clark!
- [golfer 3] Clark!
- Excuse me. Sorry, madam. Thank you.
Excuse me, Mr. Ross.
- It's time for your next appointment.
- [groans] Sorry, everybody.
- Guess that's my time.
- [golfers clamoring]
[golfer 5] I love you, Clark.
Everybody wants to fucking shake hands.
You have Sadie Fleres from Sports Net.
Right now, she's doing a piece
on the Academy.
Sports Net? What the fuck is Sports Net?
June, we have to be
more mindful of my time.
You have a hard-out at noon
for the Tournament Committee.
- What's her name again?
- Sadie Fleres.
Ms. Fleres.
- I'm Clark Ross.
- Hi. I know who you are.
- Lovely to meet you.
- Good to meet you too.
My God, reporters are getting
younger and younger these days.
[chuckles] I'm not as young as I look.
June tells me we only have
20 minutes today.
- Oh.
- But I don't think
that's gonna be enough time.
How long are you in Tulsa?
I'm sticking around until Friday.
I want to catch the first round
of the ReadySafe.
- Wonderful.
- Mm-hmm.
Let's give this interview
the time it deserves.
I love Sports Net. Are you free tonight?
Um, actually, I'm having dinner
at your steak house tonight.
I thought it would be nice color
for the article.
Perfect. Let's have a drink,
chat for a bit.
I know the owner.
I'll get us a good table.
- [chuckles] That would be amazing.
- Fantastic. Seven o'clock?
- Yeah.
- I'll see you tonight.
Mmm. [breathes deeply]
[keys jingling]
[Clark whistles]
Thank you, Robert.
[patrons laughing]
Evening, Mr. Ross.
[Clark] How you doing, Ali?
- [patron 1] Hey, Clark!
- [Clark] Good evening, Rebecca.
Your guest is waiting for you
at the bar, Mr. Ross.
Oh.
Mr. Ross. Can I get a picture?
[Clark] Uh-huh.
[shutter clicks]
[patrons chattering, laughing]
[sighs, chuckles]
You're early.
[chuckles] Early is on time,
on time is late.
- You are gonna go far with that attitude.
- [Zero chuckles]
- Shall we sit? Are you hungry?
- Yeah, I could eat.
- After you.
- Thank you.
Who do you know in Tulsa?
First time here, actually.
I don't know anybody.
- Well, now you do.
- [Pryce] Can open another frosty for me?
- Uh, excuse me.
- [Pryce] About to put this one to bed.
Rebecca, would you please seat
Ms. Fleres? I'll be right with you.
- Okay.
- Of course, Mr. Ross.
[patrons chuckling]
- Pryce?
- [sighs]
You kidding me?
- Clark Ross. Man, what [chuckles]
- Been a while.
Oh, God, what're you doing here?
This is my restaurant.
I'm the Ross in Ross's Steak House.
No way.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I would've figured it out eventually.
Give me two more shots
and we would've solved this mystery.
- [chuckles, inhales sharply]
- How have you been?
I'm doing great. You?
Yeah, well, you know, can't complain.
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.
- [chuckles]
- What What are you doing in Tulsa?
ReadySafe. Yeah. Check out a little golf.
- That's great. Maybe I'll see you there.
- I hope so.
Danny, take care of my friend here.
Whatever he wants, it's on us.
Wait, no, wait. Hold on a second, Clark.
I don't need your charity.
Oh, it's not charity. No, I I insist.
Well, you can insist all you want
but it's gonna be my treat. All right?
Danny, anything he wants, put it on me.
Pryce, I own the restaurant.
It's already free for me.
Well, then I'm gonna give you
some cash, okay?
And then you can go blow it
at another restaurant that you don't own.
There must be a few of those
someplace, right?
- [laughs]
- Hey. Really.
Whatever you want, it's on the house.
Let me get a steak sandwich, please.
The Wagyu with a little
lobster mac and cheese
and maybe a nice big pour
from one of those bottles
that you gotta stand
on your tippy-toes to get.
Top shelf.
[chuckles] Thank you, man.
- It's good to see you, Stick.
- Good to see you.
And those drinks earlier,
those are covered I think.
I think those are covered.
- [Clark] I apologize. [sighs]
- Who was that?
Nobody. You want another drink?
- Already on the way.
- Oh.
So what's good here?
Honestly? Everything.
My chef is a master.
You will not be disappointed.
- [gasps] Perfect timing.
- Thank you.
- Your usual, Mr. Ross.
- Thank you.
- Cheers. To new friends.
- To new friends.
Um, do you mind if I record this,
by the way?
Not at all. Fire away.
[phone chimes]
So, after you retired,
you started the Academy.
And it's produced some big names,
Collin and Scheffler among them.
Golf Digest once referred to you
as "The Kingmaker."
[chuckles]
But do you miss playing?
- The quick answer is no.
- No?
It's far more rewarding
to find young talent and nurture them.
- What I've found
- Excuse me. Um, sorry to interrupt.
- I I'm a big fan.
- It's okay. What's your name?
Uh, Santi. Santiago.
Your T2 at Memorial was
the first tour I ever saw
and it-it made me want to play golf.
- I remember that one.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
Your drive on 13. I
mean, what? 321 yards?
329, actually.
- But who's counting? [chuckles]
- Right. Right, my bad.
329. It was It was incredible.
Thank you, son.
I've won a couple tourneys
in the last few months.
- Good for you.
- I wanna go pro.
Well, you keep swinging away
and I'm sure I'll see your name up
on the leaderboard one of these days.
Thanks for saying hi.
I'm very sorry.
No, don't apologize.
It's all great for the article.
You know what?
You're gonna think this sounds crazy.
I think we should
start a business together.
- [laughs]
- Danny, I'm serious.
Let's open up our own place,
the two of us.
What's your last name?
McDonald.
- McDonald's? Are you kidding?
- [chuckles]
I love it!
It's already got brand recognition.
[Clark] There are things
I wish I had known as a young golfer,
philosophically,
from a business standpoint
Sorry, Mr. Ross.
I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner.
I just I shot a 66 at Applebrook,
68 at Muirfield, 67 at Sandy Valley.
Now, this is, um,
on eight at Crooked Stick.
I hit a 5-iron 225 yards into the wind.
- [chuckles]
- That's a great shot.
I'm sure you're a wonderful player.
I can putt from anywhere,
hit every club in the bag.
- Santi
- And I'm ready for the show, Mr. Ross.
I'm ready to go pro.
- Can you give me a minute?
- Please, go ahead.
- Sorry.
- Santi.
You don't go to the show
because you feel like you're ready.
You go to the show
because you've earned it.
Paid your dues,
Q-school, Korn Ferry Tour.
You have to do the grind.
Even if you're hitting the ball
as good as you say you are,
you need another five years
before you're ready for the pros.
I don't need five years.
I just need a chance.
I'll tell you what, I'm gonna give you
the number to my assistant.
You tell her we spoke.
She'll arrange a tour of the Academy
for you and your folks.
- How does that sound?
- [sighs]
It was good to meet you, Santi.
Love the enthusiasm.
- [laughs]
- I'm very sorry. Really.
What about a kid like that?
I mean, if he's as
good as he says he is
- Mm-hmm.
- is there a quicker way to the pros?
[patrons cheering]
[Pryce] Yeah! Come on!
We got the world's greatest bartender.
- [chanting] Danny, Danny, Danny.
- [patrons chanting along]
You know what it's like?
Remember Tom Cruise in Cocktail?
He could do all those tricks.
But he didn't have the star power
that you do.
I can do it too. Watch.
Remember? 'Cause he had
the older guy, the Australian guy,
that was his partner that does it.
- [Danny] Please be
- You're not the only guy that can do it.
- Yeah, hey! [groans]
- [patrons gasp, fall silent]
I'm sorry. I'm s I-I'm sorry.
My bad. My bad.
- Put that on my tab too.
- Will you excuse me?
- [Zero laughs]
- Again?
- One of those nights.
- Mmm.
[Pryce] Nobody go barefoot.
Keep your shoes on!
- Drinks are on me. Come on.
- [patrons cheering]
Go ahead. Everyone, get 'em.
We're working out the kinks tonight.
- Pryce, what are you doing?
- We don't
I'm having a magical night.
I am on fire, man.
And I'm celebrating a business venture.
Remember Lennon and McCartney
when they hitched their wagon?
- That's what's happening.
- You can't be giving out drinks.
I'm sorry. But you said drinks were
on the house and I just
I was sharing the love.
Can I give you some good news
and a little bad news?
I think you should settle down.
The bad news is you're gonna
lose a bartender, amigo. You are.
You gotta let him go. We're gonna
We're gonna hang a shingle.
We're gonna start our own place
and it's gonna be great.
- Okay
- Listen to me, Pryce.
I'm okay with you being here
and having a drink,
but you're not gonna make a scene
in my house. You understand me?
So, eat your steak sandwich,
finish your drink, and be on your way.
We clear?
- Sorry.
- [pats back]
I think Mr. Cahill will be drinking
soda water from now on, Danny.
[sighs]
- [Clark] Enjoy your food.
- [patron 2] We will.
Is everything okay?
Fine. Perils of being a business owner.
- [both chuckle]
- Sixty seconds.
- Oh, my God, kid.
- I just need
- I just need 60 seconds. Then I'll leave.
- No. I am not gonna
- I thought about what you said and
- [sighs]
I'm telling you
I don't need to do the the grind.
Everybody needs to do the grind.
Not me. I'm different.
I don't need Korn Ferry or Q-school.
- I'm ready to go pro. Now.
- [laughs]
And you can help me.
- There is nothing I can do.
- [Santi] Yes, there is.
You can give me a sponsor exemption
to the ReadySafe Invitational.
I have a zero handicap.
I meet the qualifications.
Watch me play.
And if you believe that I don't deserve
an exemption, I will
Are you giving this kid an exemption?
Jesus Christ. Pryce.
Excuse me, we're in the middle
of a conversation here.
No. No. No.
- We are in the middle of a conversation.
- [stammers] This ain't gonna take long.
I just wanna say one thing
and I've been waiting 15 years to say it.
You are welcome for everything.
If it wasn't for me,
you wouldn't have any of this.
- He owes me for everything.
- [Clark chuckles]
Who are you?
I'm the guy he just
manhandled at the bar.
Pryce Cahill, nice to meet you.
Yeah, I kinda gave him his whole life.
- Danny.
- [Zero] Cahill.
Sawgrass, 2009.
You're You're the guy who, like,
- flipped out and went totally Yeah.
- I know. Let me take a bow.
- You come up on YouTube all the time.
- [Pryce] All the time.
And you know what? It's okay.
Actually, it's a good thing
- because if I didn't flip out that day
- Danny.
then this guy would not have won
the tournament.
And none of us would be here right now.
- It's the circle of life.
- [scoffs]
Hey, what I'm trying to say is
all of this is because of me.
You're welcome, everyone. Enjoy.
How's that soup?
That looks good. You're welcome.
Is that like a little What have
we got? A spinach artichoke dip?
- May I? Let me get a little bit here.
- [patron gasps]
- Okay.
- [munches] Mmm.
I'm thanking myself for that.
And I'm saying, you're welcome, Pryce.
- And you're welcome for that filet, sir.
- [patrons chuckling]
Let me just say it again,
all of this is because of me!
- Let's go, Mr. Cahill.
- We can't get around
Danny, thank God you're here.
I'm dead serious about McDonald's.
We're gonna do it
and we're gonna crush it.
Hold on, hold on. Let me finish. So
I've always been
a better golfer than Clark.
- [gasping, laughing]
- [Pryce] That's a fact.
- Time to go, Pryce.
- I had more talent in my little finger
than this guy had in his whole body.
- [patrons murmuring]
- If that were true, Pryce,
we'd all be sitting in your steak house.
[patrons laugh]
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I gotta respond.
[chuckles] And then, remember,
because leading in to Sawgrass, okay,
I was fourth in driving distance.
I was seventh in total birdies.
I was fifth in strokes gained putting.
But where were you?
I don't remember. It was a long time ago.
I remember.
[chuckles] And I have to tell everyone.
You were 51st. Five-one. [laughs]
That's where you were, which is nowhere.
But you did win Sawgrass. He did do that.
It was one of two wins
that he got on the PGA Tour.
That's it. Two wins.
But somehow, he was able to turn that
into this magnificent career.
I guess 'cause he's You know,
he's charming and he shmoozes.
And look at him. He's handsome.
[patrons cheer]
You've always been
better looking than me.
But let's be honest,
you're not as good a golfer as me.
- [patrons murmuring]
- [chuckles] Just like That's the truth.
I mean, I could beat you then,
and I can beat you now.
[patrons murmuring]
[Mitts] Rematch!
- Let's see a rematch.
- [patrons cheering]
[laughs]
It's too bad we're not at a golf course.
[patrons groaning]
How about a shot glass shoot-out?
- [cheering]
- I'm in.
- No. No, no, no, no, no, no, Pryce.
- Put that glass anywhere in the bar.
One putt. Let's do it.
- I got a hundred bucks on the drunk.
- [stammers] Okay.
- I'll take that.
- Me too.
Okay.
Folks, I hate to disappoint,
but this isn't gonna happen.
[patrons groaning]
Five hundred on Clark!
- [patrons cheering]
- I love you, Clark Ross.
- I'll take that bet.
- Okay, everybody, slow down.
Actually, Clark,
this would be incredible for my piece.
- [sighs]
- [chanting] Shoot-out! Shoot-out!
[all] Shoot-out! Shoot-out! Shoot-out!
Shoot-out! Shoot-out! Shoot-out
[chanting continues]
Just say no, Clark.
All you gotta do is say no,
and then everyone will know.
- [chanting continues]
- [patrons exclaiming]
Call it.
Heads.
- Tails.
- God, I was gonna say tails.
- [sighs]
- You sure you wanna do this, Pryce?
'Cause even if you win, you've lost.
The years. The prestige.
The dignity.
You can't get any of that back.
But me? I can't lose.
Even if I don't hit
this glass right here.
Sounds like you're making an excuse.
Excuses are the tools
of the incompetent, Pryce.
I have no use for them.
[patrons exclaiming]
[patrons cheering]
[cheering, applauding]
You make that look so easy.
[chuckling]
[Clark] You're up.
How's your wife, by the way?
I remember liking her. Amber?
Amber-Linn.
I always thought she
was too good for you.
Has she left you yet?
I'm trying to focus.
Of course she has.
[patrons exclaiming]
- [patrons] Oh!
- Goddamn it!
[sighs]
Wait a second. Are you guys hustling me?
- [laughing]
- Is that what this was?
You get me drunk on purpose.
Was that the plan?
Danny sauces me up and then
you got me playing goofy golf here?
- It's good to see you, Pryce.
- [sighs]
Danny, I'm disappointed in you.
We're still gonna do McDonald's,
but I'm gonna keep an eye on you.
Hey, Clark, come on. Double or nothing.
Double what, Pryce?
You and I aren't even gambling here.
- I've got a thousand on Clark!
- I'll take that.
[patrons cheer]
[patron 3] Kick his ass, Clark!
[Clark] After you.
[Pryce sighs]
[chuckles]
Someone's having a good time.
[Pryce sighs]
[patrons exclaiming]
- [patrons] Aw!
- Oh, fuck!
[Clark chuckles]
Ah, don't be hard on yourself. Hmm?
This is not an easy putt.
Anyone could miss it.
I won't, but
[patrons cheering, applauding]
Oh, my God. That's insane.
- [Clark chuckles]
- [laughs]
- That was crazy.
- You're fucking sad, bro.
Excuse me?
You know he's old enough
to be your grandfather.
- Look, I don't know you.
- I don't even know you.
Double or nothing. One more round.
- Let's go.
- You can't be serious.
I'm dead serious. Come on.
It's pathetic, the way
you're hanging all over him.
It's time to say goodbye, Pryce.
No. The night is young.
You don't get to talk to me like that.
It's embarrassing.
[Pryce] One last shot. Three grand.
- [softly] Stop.
- [Clark] You don't have three grand.
You're a fucking clown.
[Pryce] How about my bar tab?
You win, I pay.
Including the glass I broke.
[Clark] Dude, we've been through this.
It's my [sighs]
[Pryce] Fine. Let's play
for something else.
Anything. Anything. You name it.
[Clark] Pryce, you have nothing I want.
Yeah, but you have something he wants.
What does that mean?
Pryce wants a sponsorship exemption
for the ReadySafe Invitational for him.
- No, no, you say the stakes. Like
- [Zero] No.
- No, no, no.
- Let him say the stakes.
The stakes are the exemption, Pryce.
It's the only reason we're here.
[sighs] This whole thing is a hustle.
We're all working together.
- What're you talking about?
- [Mitts] Hey, hey!
- Let's get on with the game, huh?
- [Zero] This is a setup. This is Mitts.
He's Pryce's old caddy.
That woman there, that's Elena.
- She's Santi's mom.
- [sighs] Oh, Zero.
Mittsy, is that you?
Clark.
- You're a little shit.
- Fuck you, Mitts.
Okay. What the fuck is going on?
Pryce wanted an exemption
so Santi could play in the ReadySafe,
but he knew you wouldn't give it to him
because of your history,
so he came up with this plan
to hustle you.
[Pryce] That's not true. [scoffs]
Her name is Sadie. Mitts.
You know what? Pryce actually isn't
even drunk. Isn't that funny?
He He just does this.
This is a thing he does.
He He dumps the first two shots
on purpose,
and then he gets us to keep going
until you agree to bet the exemption.
This is what he and Mitts
have been doing for years.
And the thing is,
Pryce can't golf for shit,
but he can hit a glass
ten out of ten times.
And when he does make that putt,
you're on the hook in front of all these
people with their fucking cell phones.
Right, Mitts? That was the plan, no?
Pryce, I told you they wouldn't do it.
- Fuck you. I was doing it.
- No, fuck you.
- No, no. Wait. Slow down.
- Fuck you! No! No. No.
Mr. Ross, listen.
I really am as good as I said I was.
I-I could play in the show.
- Santi, come on. It's over.
- [Elena] Let's just go.
- Mis
- Baby, let's just go.
[Santi sighs]
- You fucking owed me this!
- I don't owe you shit!
I loved you. And you called me a clown?
I'm not a fucking clown.
[Elena] Come on.
- Come on, babe. Let's go.
- [sighs]
- Hey. It's okay.
- Thank you.
[sniffles]
- [sighs deeply]
- [Elena] No.
[whispering indistinctly]
- I need to get out of here.
- Of course, right.
[stammers] For Pryce to go
through all this,
the kid has to be good, right?
- Yeah.
- How good?
Pryce thinks he's the next Tiger.
He gave his mom a hundred grand
to take him on the road.
- Pryce gave her a hundred grand?
- Yeah.
Hey, Pryce. Hold up.
The show's over, folks.
Danny, get everybody
a drink on the house.
- [patrons cheer]
- [patron 4] We love you, Clark!
- It's good to see you again, Mitts.
- Yeah, real fucking treat.
I'm Clark.
- Elena, right?
- Elena.
[Clark] Jesus, Pryce.
If you wanted an exemption for the kid,
you should've just asked me.
And you would've given it to me?
Of course not.
Your talent for finding new ways
to embarrass yourself is amazing. Truly.
You put a hundred grand on this kid?
Is he your shot at redemption?
This is your mulligan?
Come on, guys. Let's go.
How about we keep the game going?
No shot glasses on the floor.
Real golf. One hole.
You win, he gets an exemption
to the ReadySafe.
And if you win?
If I win, I know
I'm a better golfer than you.
[inhales deeply]
Silence the haters once and for all.
- That's it?
- No.
And Santi signs
an exclusive seven-year contract
with the Ross Academy, starting today.
[Clark] Welcome to God's Thumb.
129 yards of pure,
unadulterated precision.
Tonight's game is simple.
One shot. Closest to the pin.
Winner takes all.
Short straw.
No. Fuck that. No, Clark.
There has to be
some challenge to this, Mittsy.
It's 129 yards.
Yeah, it's not really fair
to spring it on us now though, is it?
I'm sorry. Did the guy
who just tried to hustle me
in my own restaurant
complain about fairness?
[spectators laugh]
What's short straw?
It's a thing that guys would do on tour.
They gotta play the club they pull.
If they pull a good one,
they have the advantage.
If they pull a putter, they're fucked.
[sucks teeth] Pitching wedge.
[spectators cheering, applauding]
- 3-iron.
- 3-iron
- What the fuck?
- Que? That's bad, yes? Yes?
Yeah, it's bad. He won't be able to
fly it on and still hold the green.
Pero, what does that mean?
It means that [scoffs]
there's no way
he's not gonna overshoot the pin.
Okay. Let's do this.
Over the years,
people have asked me about Sawgrass.
Whether I've won it on my own
or if you handed it to me.
I'll be honest with you.
It's pretty fucking annoying. [chuckles]
So, I'm glad we're getting
this opportunity tonight.
[spectators cheering]
You're up, Stick.
[whispers indistinctly]
You know, everyone thinks you melted down
because of your dead kid.
[chuckles]
But you and I both know
that it had nothing to do with that.
You would've melted down eventually
because you're a loser.
A degenerate.
A fuckup. [laughs]
Always have been. Always will be.
Can't argue with you, Clark.
[inhales deeply] I'm all of those things.
But I'm also something else.
I'm a better golfer than you.
Always have been. Always will be.
- [laughing]
- Oh, my
Pryce! What!
Oh, my God!
What the fuck?
- Pryce! Pryce! That's impossible!
- [Elena laughing]
That was impossible! Come on, man!
Unreal! Dude, that was impossible!
[no audible dialogue]
["Take It to the Limit" playing]
Did we do it?
[inhales sharply]
- Fuck yeah! Come on!
- [Santi laughing]
[no audible dialogue]
[Santi] Did you mean what you said today?
[Zero] I said a lot of things today.
- I was acting.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
When you said you loved me.
Yeah. I meant it.
And it's not just because I'm playing
in a PGA tournament this Thursday?
Well, it doesn't hurt.
- Oh! [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Stupid.
[Santi] I love you too.
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