The Dry (2022) s01e08 Episode Script

So
What time's the party?
Oh, they'll be started early.
Hoping relatives
die off by nine.
Free food? Fat chance.
Vultures.
I err, I texted Caroline.
I'm not sure if she's
upset with me for
She understands.
I could always pop in.
My flight's not until
No need, honestly.
It's her engagement party.
Ah, she'll be hammered.
She won't even notice.
Will you be okay here on those?
I have Ant.
And me.
Main thing is you
look after yourself.
You're happy in London.
Right. I've a few
bits to do, so
I've put a little
bit into your account
just till you're
back on your feet.
I'll pay you back.
Ah.
I won't walk you out.
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
She's better off.
Absolutely. Totally.
Much better off.
Mmm.
Can I make anyone a cup of tea?
And where would you do that?
Nowhere.
You look good.
I mean you always do,
you jammy bastard.
Remember that time you went
straight to Aunty
Ag's birthday party
from an all-nighter and
all she could talk about
was how handsome you looked?
And she said I looked fat.
I miss you.
I miss you every day.
No, sorry! It's way too nice.
I'll swap you for,
oh, Saint Anthony,
courtesy of Granny.
She was a total piss
head, by the way!
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]
You're not allowed
to lie on graves.
Why?
[JAUNTY MUSIC]
I'm not sure about this.
Is it the font, or?
No, about tonight.
The sex thing.
I thought you wanted to.
I do want to. It's just it
can't be anyone we know.
But we've invited
everyone we know.
Rory, it's our first time!
It should be special!
I know!
We should never see them again!
No.
Okay.
[JAUNTY MUSIC]
Banner looks great.
[DOOR BELL CHIMES]
Ah. I just came to drop this.
Hmm.
Most women like flowers.
Should I have brought flowers?
What are you doing here?
You're not answering my calls.
I told you.
I don't want a
serious relationship.
I don't want a serious
relationship either!
You said you were in love
and you moved into my flat.
Okay, that was a bit
But can we not just go
back to how it was before?
You changed my life, Mina.
You healed me.
I am an acupuncturist.
It's what I do.
But I don't want to have to
help people all of the time.
Tom, you're a nice man.
We have nice sex.
But you have too much baggage.
No, I don't!
I mean, I did I think maybe.
But, I mean, now
Sorry, carry on.
It's too complicated.
It doesn't have to be.
It can be meaningless.
It can just be
meaningless, casual sex.
And you'd be happy with this?
Yes.
Are you sure? Absolutely.
Can it mean a little bit?
[JAUNTY MUSIC]
Karen?
Jesus! You frightened
the shite out of me!
Are you trying the dresses on?
I can't fucking sell them
if I don't know what
they're like on.
What is it like on?
Does it make me arse look huge?
I'm going back to London.
I just came to say goodbye.
What's in the bottle?
Water.
Oh. Can I have a swig?
No.
I fucking knew it.
I knew it.
Okay, look.
There's a meeting in an hour.
I'll change and we can
I'm not going to
a meeting drunk.
I went to all my meetings drunk
for the first two years.
Just came to say goodbye.
Do you think that's a good idea?
Everyone else does.
What about your recovery?
I've been drinking all week.
Glass of wine here, vodka there.
Didn't binge. No
one even noticed.
Ah, yeah. You just
have to manage it.
Except you can't
because you're a
fucking alcoholic!
Maybe it was just a phase.
Says the girl with the
gin in the water bottle.
Vodka, actually.
It's one day at
time for a reason.
You fell off the wagon today.
It's okay.
You get back up and you
start again tomorrow.
You don't get to wipe the slate
and start again
whenever it suits.
Some things you
don't get to do over.
By the way, I didn't
do my moral inventory.
Because it s bullshit!
This is your mask, Shiv.
This is how you face the
world because you're scared.
It's not the real you.
No of fence, Karen,
you don't know the real me.
You're a weirdo
that I met in a room
full of weirdos.
In real life we'd
never even be friends.
And yes, that dress does
make your arse look huge.
You look fucking ridiculous.
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]
I need a pen.
What is that, a novel, or?
Moral inventory.
Are you a high-functioning
alcoholic?
I'm a low-functioning alcoholic.
I'm a CEO.
I wouldn't trust me with
the keys to a padlock,
never mind a
multinational corporation,
but, hey.
I'm missing my sister's
engagement party.
You can't miss your
sister s engagement party.
It's family.
My family don't like me.
They don't get a choice.
PLAYFUL MUSIC
I'm going to that party.
Yes, you are!
I'm gonna be the best
fucking guest there!
Yes, you fucking are! Yep.
Yeah! Mm-hmm.
Mmm. You go, girl.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. You go.
I should probably
call my sponsor.
She's much better off in London.
Yeah.
Rory, you want to
take things slow
but you've brought me to
a room full of relatives.
It's a free bar. Come on.
Would you like a drink?
You know, she was
drinking the whole time?
No.
I found gin bottle
stashed under the bed.
Little ones.
Like the ones that
I bought Mammy?
- What?
- [GLASS CLINKING]
If I could just have
everyone's attention
for a moment.
I just want to say a few words.
When two young people
decide to tie the knot,
it's always a happy occasion.
What about her? She's pretty.
That's my cousin Tara.
It serves as a
reminder to us all
that love and friendship
and loyalty still
do have a place in our world.
What about the waiters?
Or the waiter?
Look, he's a ride.
Oh, he smiled at me.
And I can't think of two
people more committed
to one another than
Rory and Caroline.
We'd be doing a threesome, yeah?
So now
If you're comfortable with that.
Yeah. Totally.
If you could all please
raise your glasses
to the happy couple to be.
[ALL] To the happy
couple to be! (CHEERING)
Will I ask him?
I thought you were on a plane.
Ah.
Well, well.
Look what the cat dragged
in on its way to London.
Suppose you lost
another job, did you?
No.
But I did fuck my
boss's boyfriend.
CHOKES ON DRINK
Oh, close your
mouth, you old cow!
So, you are drinking?
Don't tell Mum, Aunty Rita.
I'm in the bad books.
Still no man, Shiv, no?
Not really, Uncle Joe, no.
Still an alcoholic?
Nah.
Where's Kirsten? Kristen?
Inside.
Do you wanna fuck?
Have you been drinking?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Jesus, Shiv.
Sober Shiv Sheridan was never
really gonna work, was it?
Look, I'm sorry about last week.
My head was all over the place.
I miss you.
And I was thinking that
if you're going
back to London now
if Kristen's here, maybe
we could work something out,
you know?
Thought you had a
family to think about?
I'm an artist, Shiv.
I can't live some
conventional life.
And neither can you.
We're different.
And the more
successful you become,
you need people around
you who don't bullshit.
You always tell me the truth.
You want the truth?
Always.
I was in love with you.
For years and years it was you.
Because we have this thing.
It's big and it's messy.
It's deep.
I never understood why we
couldn't just be in a
normal relationship,
where you couldn't just
commit, and now I get it.
I get it.
It's because you're
a selfish prick,
and a mediocre artist.
Sorry, truth.
Truth, ahem.
Is that Shiv?
Oh Jesus!
Hello, hi! [LAUGHS]
Hi. Can you all hear me?
[ALL] Yes! [CHEERING]
She's not gonna make a speech!
I would like to make
a speech! [CHEERING]
[KISSING SOUNDS]
Oh, Shiv's making a speech.
Shiv's here? Yeah,
and she is locked.
Oh, fuck! Mm-hmm.
There they are!
The happy couple!
[CROWD CHEERING]
They've been together
since school.
Now, I know, I know
what you're thinking
fucking boring. [LAUGHTER]
But you're wrong. They're
an amazing couple.
I mean, they can tell
each other anything,
you know, no matter how awkward
you know, no matter how
awkward or humiliating.
Or humiliating.
You know, Rory,
I've so much respect for
what you've been through.
[APPLAUSE] Yeah, I have.
Does she seem drunk?
Tom! Do something!
What?
Mum and Dad! [AWWING
AND CHEERING]
They don't like
me making speeches
because they're worried
I'm going to do
something embarrassing.
So
Let's get that out of the way.
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
Oh, my god.
[CHEERING] & ]WHOOPING]
Oh, my Jesus.
[SHIV:] Whoo!
See, I'm tired of bullshitting.
I'm an alcoholic and.
I'm drunk.
And this is my moral inventory
where you write down
all the shitty things
you've ever done and
then you tell someone
like a confession.
And then, then you recover, ha!
[LAUGHS] As if!
I mean, what does that
even mean, recovery, like?
Like how are you
supposed to recover,
you know,
from life?
How do you recover from
your husband telling you
after 40 years that
he's met a reflexologist
and he's in love with her?
Or how do you recover when your
girlfriend bones a consultant
and then proposes
to you out of guilt?
What?
How do you recover
from being raped
or molested or,
or losing a kid?
I can't listen to this.
Or finding your brother,
who you love more than anything
in the whole world
dead?
Dead in his bed because
he didn't want to
be here one more day.
You know, I think,
given the circumstances
that we are all in,
is it any wonder we
reach for a drink?
Or a reflexologist, you know?
And then we just
keep on reaching,
keep on reaching and reaching
and I have destroyed my life.
My mother's angry with me.
She wants me to disappear,
go back to London, not
be her problem anymore.
I really don't blame her,
because I'd like
to disappear too.
I'd like to get
away from me too.
I'd really like to forget
every single disgusting thing
that's in that book that I did.
I did it, it makes
my skin crawl.
I really want to get
away from me too.
And that's why I drink.
But I was sober for six months.
I don't have a man
and I don't have
a job and I'm 35
and I slept with a
pregnant woman's boyfriend.
But I didn't reach for a drink
for a whole six months
and, well, that's
something, huh?
[SNIFFS] So, I just
wanted to say
What was it I wanted to say?
Oh yeah, ha!
Happy anniversary! [CROWD GASPS]
Shiv.
Shiv, come on love. Come on.
Oh.
Cover her up.
Come on.
Too much for a first date?
Rory, you coming?
Is it true?
What Shiv said?
For god's sake,
Rory, she's hammered.
You wanted to sleep
with other people too.
Yeah, but I told you.
Rory.
Rory!
[VAN DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]
What the fuck?
Jesus, what a night.
Were we terrible parents?
We were parents, Bernie.
We did our best.
And Pam.
Pam! Jesus!
You were right.
I need a drink.
I need a fucking drink.
[GLASSES CLINK]
We'll wait here.
God, it's depressing, isn't it?
KAREN Howareyis?
Right, yis all know the drill.
We'll start with a reading,
open the floor for
shares, blah, blah, blah.
You going to take a seat?
I see we have some
old faces here today,
along with some newcomers.
First one's always the
hardest. So, well done.
Right, let's get this
show on the road.