The Good Guys s01e08 Episode Script

- What the hell?
- After everything we've been through?
You betray me like this?
Ow!
Look, I'm a cop, you're a criminal,
that's how the relationship works.
Is that really necessary?!
"Necessary."
Was it necessary for you
to enter my circle of trust
and then betray me?!
Aah!
Ohh!
That was for pretending
to be my friend.
And that
Is because I hate cops.
Are we friends, Jack?
Yeah. Sure.
I mean, we we've
been through a lot together.
Yeah, but do we
really know each other?
If we were on "the dating game"
and Jim Lange asked,
"where's the weirdest place
your partner ever did the deed?"
I wouldn't know.
Yeah.
You know, I'm okay with that.
See, t-that there is why
we cannot get to be a great team
like Starsky and Hutch,
Nixon and Agnew,
or B.J. and the bear.
No, the bear was a monkey, Dan.
Well, w-whatever.
The point is, we put our lives
on the line together every day.
We got to get inside
each other's heads.
TwoMust be as one.
Speaking of which,
I got to do
some of both of those numbers
if they let me use their john.
Well, it's about time,
detectives.
Why does it take two hours
to get someone here
to investigate a crime?
Well,
we had some calls that involved
victims that
Weren't made of fiberglass.
This is the third time
this week
someone's put Mr. sparky
through my front window.
Now, my taxes pay your salary,
and I expect
some attention, too.
Can you think of anyone
who might have a beef with you
or with, uh, sparky here?
If I did,
I wouldn't need detectives.
Look, I got a shipment
of smartphones coming in Monday.
And if the front of my store
looks like a war zone,
my customers
are gonna so somewhere else,
and I'll get stuck
with a bunch of $700 phones.
$700 for a phone?
That's a crime.
Surely there's
an alarm system here.
Did it not work, malfunction?
Look around, Detective.
It's pretty clear
alarms don't work.
Clear!
Whoo!
Whoo!
How'd we do?
Let's see.
Okay. We got
Oh, come on.
You've got to be kidding me!
What is it?
Everything you got
was worthless!
Pills for erectile dysfunction
and hair loss.
Baby, I went
for the top-shelf items,
just like you said to do.
Read the labels, then.
How you gonna support us
if you can't even rob
an unguarded pharmacy?
I promise you,
next pharmacy we hit,
everything's gonna be perfect.
Lieutenant,
we heard about the pharmacy
that was hit last night.
Technically,
Jack heard about it.
Then he told me
a few minutes ago.
So now we both heard about it.
Oh, I just wanted
to point out, you know,
a pharmacy is a property,
and stealing drugs is a crime.
Therefore,
it's a property crime,
which is our department,
so I thought that maybe
stark and I could
pharmaceutical theft
belongs to drug task force.
Broken windows and
molested mascots belongs to you.
W-we can handle
more than one case at a time.
Yeah, I know you can.
I don't think the city can.
That's valid.
No. It is not valid!
I'll tell you what
if you can close this case
without sparking
an international incident
or warehouse shootout,
then I'll think about it.
But for now, gentlemen,
get back to work.
Look, Jack, I have got to
get back to work.
You can't be calling me
for every little thing.
Well, this isn't
every little thing.
I just want to know
if your office would prosecute
a vandalism case.
Look, Jack, I just had
my supervisor walk in here
and run me up one side
and down the other for spending
too much time on code 58s.
She even asked me
if my past relationship with you
had anything to do with it.
Well, and what did you say?
Well, I told her
it didn't, but
ah, but what?
Jack, I'm crazy busy here, okay?
With this case,
I'm just swamped,
and then I got Kyle, and I
what I'm trying to tell you
is that I just don't think
I can help you out
for a couple days, okay?
Hey, no.
That's fine.
I think I can go 48 hours
without needing uh,
legal advice.
That's good.
I hate to burst your bubble,
but you're not the only one
with plans this weekend.
Dan and I
are going on stakeout.
Stakeouts are overrated.
How's that?
Just as a crime-fighting tool.
This could take weeks!
Sittin' in a car!
Lookin'.
Which is why
I always bring along
The cop's best friend.
How old is this thing?
All you got to do,
plant her in the bushes,
press "record."
You and I go out,
get a couple of beers,
come back, see what we caught.
It's kind of like fishing.
Yeah, okay.
One beer.
And then we're back here
when it's dark outside.
Of course just one.
Maybe two.
And, you know,
we'll bond, and then
Then we'll come back to work.
You got a plump upper lip,
and you got plenty of
groomin' space under your nose.
You could definitely
pull off a 'stache.
I tried it once.
I did.
I thought it would,
you know, make me look tougher.
Problem is, it didn't grow in
on the outsides,
only in the middle,
so I-it just ended up
making me look like Hitler.
Boy, did he kill that 'stache.
I wouldn't bang
any of 'em, Dan.
Why the hell not?
They're cartoons.
That's just prejudice.
And racism.
W against cartoons?
You have to pick.
You can't know a man
until you know his taste
in cartoon ladies.
Yeah, we moved from, uh, Boston
Christmas break,
eighth-grade year.
Uh, house got broken into.
My mom, she just
didn't feel safe there anymore.
She probably heard
about the super cops down here.
Fact every time
"savage & stark" showed on tv,
at least 412 people moved into
the Dallas metropolitan area.
You can look that up.
She moved here
because of her allergies.
Yeah.
Her crime allergies.
You know what we need to do?
Get back to work?
We got to come up with
code words.
Code words?
Every partnership needs
a-a secret way to communicate.
Like, uh, Frank and me
"snakebite"
meant you'd pop the perp
in the ankle.
If you're in
a multiple-threat scenario,
you'd say, "reagan."
That meant you took
the guy on the right.
Or "carter" meant you took
the guy on the left.
Hm.
Well, what's the code word
for "let's get out of here"?
"Theresa."
Theresa.
Frank's first wife.
They were only married
17 hours.
I mean, the only way you could
know something like that
is to is to, you know,
get into your partner's head.
You know whose head
I want to get into?
Liz's.
Weird.
She says the reason
why we're not dating anymore
is because she doesn't
want to date a cop.
But I think
it's because
enough, already.
Let me give you
a piece of advice.
Getting wrapped up
in past mistakes
is the worst thing
a guy can do.
Okay.
Silvio?
Silvio, is that you?
Holy
It's me Bobby.
Bobby kneecaps. Hm?
Bobby caps!
Are you freakin' kiddin' me?
Mwah! Madon!
I thought you was dead.
Do I look dead to you?
Oh, I feel bad now.
I mean, when we didn't hear
from you for three months,
we thought
you was with the fishes,
and we spent
your cut of the 400 "k."
Your cut?
Forget about it.
I can't forget about it.
Robbing the dog track
was your idea.
I mean, it ain't right that
you don't get nothin' from it.
Let me tell you
something, caps
I was just telling
This, uh, friend of ours
you can't worry
about what happened in the past.
Fuggedaboutit.
Tell you what
the whole crew's in town.
What do you say we get together
tomorrow afternoon
at our joint, mama Mia's.
We'll talk over old times,
we'll catch up,
and we'll talk over
new business.
Nice.
I'll be there.
Nice to meet you.
All right, caps.
You look good.
I can explain.
Oh, my lord.
Seven years ago,
I went undercover
i mean deep undercover
to bust these mob guys
from up north.
Okay, so how does
busting mob guys from up north
turn into you letting them
get away with $400,000?!
There were
Complications.
Okay, everybody
knows what they're doing.
Bobby Caps, you got the door.
Big Lou, Vin, you load the van.
I'll make sure
the guards is occupied.
I'm telling you boys
nine hours from now,
we're all gonna have
a financial horseshoe
hangin' out of our ass.
Son of a bitch!
You slept
through your own sting?
I was fighting a cold!
Nobody told me the rule
about not mixing cold medicine
with the tropical rums.
Yeah, yeah. They should
put a warning on the labels.
It gets worse.
Of course it does.
The 400 "k"
Was department money
they gave me to use as bait.
When the lieutenant
found out it was gone,
that's pretty much what busted
me down to property crimes.
SoYou go
to mama Mia's tomorrow,
we show up, and we bust them.
Problem solved.
I kind of designed
the perfect heist.
There was no evidence.
Judge wouldn't even
bring it to trial.
And those guys disappeared,
and I guess I just kind of tried
to forget 'em.
Well, they certainly
remembered you, Silvio.
Yeah. Technically,
I'm still undercover.
You know what that means, Jack?
Yes, I do, Dan.
We could still
take these guys down.
But what about
our vandalism case?
Fuggedaboutit.
Let's get ourselves
some real criminals.
Now, don't worry, baby.
I scouted this place.
There ain't no security,
and the only guy who works here
is the pharmacist,
and he's like
a hundred years old.
And you know
which drugs to steal this time?
That's the beauty
of my new strategy, darling
I don't got to know nothin'.
Mm! Okay.
All right, grandpa!
In case you haven't noticed,
this here's a robbery!
"Now put your hands
where I can see 'em!"
He's already got 'em up, baby.
Skip on to the next part.
"Load up these bags!
"And not with everything
just the expensive crap
that the kids take when they
want to stay up allNight."
You want to give me the bags?
Right.
Give him the bags.
Now, we don't want to hurt
nobody.
We're not violent people.
What is wrong with you?
What?
We're very violent!
And we will hurt the dickens
out of you, old man!
Well, baby, I think that we need
to make him feel comfortable.
Have you lost your mind?
No, I mean, he's old.
What if he panics and has
a heart attack or something?
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
What the hell is wrong with you?!
He don't even have teeth!
How was I supposed to know
he's got a shotgun?!
This is Texas!
Everybody's got a shotgun!
Aah!
Oh, God!
Here you go, baby.
You're a good kid.
Girls, you look nice
with those cones.
Whoa!
I want you to buy yourself
Somethin' nice.
That's a c-note, girls.
Split it.
Let's roll.
Here it is
this week's take.
I can't believe Silvio's alive.
Am I the only one
who thinks it's strange
how he just vanished
and now he's back
like nothing ever happened?
What are you talking about?
I mean, it's weird.
You know, if someone
owed me 100 "k,"
I'd want to do everything
I could to collect it.
Hey, we owe everything
we got to this guy.
I mean,
if you can't trust Silvio,
who can you trust?
Madon!
Silvio.
Vin.
How you been?
Bobby caps!
Huh?
Come on!
Hey, Silvio, how come you
never showed up at the heist?
Whoa, uh
The crazy thing, uh
I got jumped.
By who?
Some guys.
They heard about the job.
They, uh, wanted a piece.
I kept my mouth shut.
They put me in a, uh,
what do you call
a c a coma.
Four years.
Coma?
What kind?
What do you mean, what kind?
The bad kind.
What's his problem here?
Nothing.
We all feel real bad
about what happened to you.
Fuggedaboutit.
I'm just glad to be
out of those freakin' diapers.
Anything we can do
to make it up to you?
As a matter of fact,
I'm going through
kind of a tough time,
money-wise.
So if you could,
I don't know, cut me in
on whatever you got going.
Actually, we got something
happening later on today.
Maybe you could help us
unload it.
Very nice.
All right,
so let's take what we got,
look for a pattern,
and see if we can predict
which pharmacy
we think they're gonna hit next.
All right.
Let's get to it.
Hey, all I'm "aksking"
is that you give me
one more chance
to take these guys down.
And I'm just asking you
to drop that ridiculous accent.
Oh, my God.
Accent? What accent?
It's the way Silvio talks.
Seriously?
He's undercover.
Look, we'll talk
about it later,
'cause right now
I got to figure out
how I'm gonna stop
these drugstore cowboys
from hitting up every pharmacy
in Dallas.
Hey, no!
These mobsters got something
going on this afternoon.
They got a shipment
they need helpUnloading.
Look, lieutenant,
you can't just pass this on
to some task force, all right?
They trust Dan.
Silvio.
Silvio.
And this is our chance
to catch these guys red-handed.
Okay, you realize that this is
the exact same speech Dan gave me
Silvio gave you.
Seven years ago,
when those same mobsters
got away with 400 grand
of the department's money?
Yes, but this time
it won't just beSilvio.
I'll be there to make sure
that he wakes up on time
and that things go down
the right way.
All right, if the d.A.
Can get the papers
processed on time,
I will sign off on your sting.
Mwah!
He's undercover.
All right, listen up.
I'll maintain visuals
on the suspects.
As soon as they
take possession,
we'll move in, we'll make
the arrests, all right?
You ready
for a little redemption?
Did Sinatra get any tail?
He did.
It's go time.
Go get 'em.
Sil.
We thought you was gonna be
a no-show again.
Yeah, you want me
to show you this?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't worry about it.
You're exactly on time.
Oh. I appreciate
you bringing me in on this.
Fuggedaboutit. It's the least
we could do for you.
What are we, uh
What are we bringing in?
Seafood.
We get it from a boat
down on the gulf.
Ha! Seafood. Right.
Detective Bailey.
I'm gonna need you
to stay back.
Bobby caps has already
seen you with Dan.
We can't risk
outing him as a cop.
But I got the jacket on!
And it looks pretty on you.
Relax.
You brought us to the goal line.
Let us put it
in the end zone for you.
Here comes the truck.
Okay.
Let's get ready to roll.
So, you need buyers?
You want me to
Line up a few?
No, we just use
our regular customers.
Hm. Right. You want to give me
a list of names, what?
No, we got it on our end.
We're okay.
I thought you needed me
to, you know, unload.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, we're
Unloading from the truck
to the van.
Oh.
Okay, we're good!
Go! Go! Go!
Dan.
Hands where I can see them!
What the hell is this?!
All right!
Hands where I can see them!
What's in the container?
Hey! Don't answer that pig!
She don't got no warrant!
Right here.
Anybody can get a warrant!
Easy, easy.
I swear it's only seafood!
Nice way
to hide the smell of drugs
from the dogs at the port.
Open 'em up.
Officer, give me a break.
If that stuff defrosts, I'm finished.
Open 'em up!
All right. Dump them out
so I can see what's underneath.
76 containers
my men opened up today.
And do you know what they found
in them besides shrimp?
No guns. No drugs.
Just ice.
L-lieutenant,
we're sorry.
Apologies don't cut it anymore.
And you didn't just
embarrass yourselves.
You embarrassed me.
And now I have to go
and explain to the chief
why I wasted
all these man-hours
on a shrimp bust
while drugstore cowboys
were running around the city
shooting up pharmacies!
Let me tell you something.
You need to relax.
I'm gonna talk
to these guys later,
find out what's going on.
Will you drop it, Detective?
And just what the hell
are you drinking?
Espresso.
You are not undercover anymore!
You know
how you can tell I'm undercover?
Listen to the sound
of my voice.
There is one good thing
that came out of all this.
When people ask me
why Dan stark
is still buried
in property crimes,
I can just point
to all of this.
Hm.
Wow.
I'm glad I'm not
this Dan stark guy.
Oh, damn it, Jack. Every time I think
I'm after them, they pull me back in.
Come on. It's because those mob guys
didn't commit a crime yesterday
doesn't mean that they're not bad guys.
We just gotta make them
do something illegal again.
Dan, a wise man once told me
not to get wrapped up
in past mistakes.
Yeah?
You gonna stop going after Liz?
Come on, Jack.
When you let something get away
that you know you should've had,
it's hard to let it go.
Yeah.
Okay. So then how do we nail
these guys, huh?
Treat it like a cold case.
What about our warm case
at the electronics store?
The mobsters won't bring us
to the crime,
we'll bring the crime
to the mobsters.
You guys
ever hear of smarty-phones?
Sure.
What about 'em?
I got a tip about a shipment
coming in tonight
to an electronics store.
Gonna be unloaded
in the morning.
For now, they're just sitting
there in the parking lot.
You saying we should boost 'em?
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Be just like old times.
Only I'll, you know,
actually be there.
Sil, I don't know.
Them cops showing up,
they really freaked us out.
Yeah, what were they
doing there?
Cops ain't come
sniffing around us in years.
Seven years,
actually.
What the hell is this?
You saying I had
something to do with it?
I'm saying it's
an awful big coincidence.
Look, you don't trust me,
I'll take my business elsewhere.
I'm eating.
I don't need to be insulted.
Take it easy, Sil. Come on.
We're all friends here.
Vinny don't mean nothing by it.
Yeah.
Look, all's I know is that bust
last night cost us 20 large.
And I can't sell no shrimp
that's been dumped
all over some parking lot.
Sounds like we could all use
some cash.
So what's it gonna be, boys?
Opportunity
is knock-knock-knocking.
We gonna answer it
or we gonna sit here
Letting life pass us by?
Life's just passing us by.
I've stuck with you
for three years,
and what's it got me?
Do we have a house?
Do I have nice clothes?
Do we have a baby?
I mean, to be fair, I think
your smoking and drinking
have something to do
with us not getting pregnant.
That ain't the point.
Now, I need a man
who can take care of me.
I need a man
who can get things done.
More importantly,
I need a man
who knows the difference
between oxyclear and oxycontin!
There's got to be
an easier way to get rich.
I mean, it seems like
an easy score
if those smartphones
are just laying there.
It sounds too easy.
Am I really the only one
who thinks it's strange?
Silvio shows up
after all this time,
and soon as he does,
the cops roll in.
But if Silvio was a cop,
would he let us get away
with 400 "k"
from a heist
that he planned,
a heist, by the way,
that we were
never even questioned about?
I don't know.
Maybe you're right.
It's settled, then.
We meet at mama Mia's
at 7:00.
We go to the heist
from there. Bing.
Did you hear that?!
I heard!
I-it's like fate, you know?
It's like God said,
"those two need a big score."
And here it is.
I know.
Do you think we can do it?
You think we can rip them off?
Baby, I think
together we can do anything.
I love you.
Jack, seriously,
this is the lastTime.
No.
Absolutely.
I mean it!
No.
So do I.
Jack, just for the record,
my name is not to be
on that paperwork.
You and I never had
this conversation.
Seriously, Liz,
I know that this isn't easy
for you, either.
And for the record,
I really appreciate the fact
that you're taking the time
to not talk to me.
Appreciation received,
but you need to know
that if you call me again,
I will hang up on you.
Don't worry.
From here on out,
I've got it covered.
Okay.
Now, so far, so good.
Now, I-I rented a truck,
and I parked it
in the parking lot
behind the electronics store.
Cool. You fill it up
with smarty-phones?
No, I filled it up
with empty boxes.
In case something goes wrong
again,
we are not gonna lose $400,000
of the department's money.
Good call.
Now, all we got to do
is get these guys to admit
that they think
they're stealing smartphones.
All right, now, legally,
it's the exact same thing
as using fake drugs
in a drug sting.
We just need to prove
the intent.
That way,
we can get a conviction.
Okay?
I didn't really follow
all that,
but, uh, I'm okay with it
if you are.
Good. Now all we got to do
is get you wired.
I don't know what you do
or do not know about Silvio,
but he does not get wired.
Well, Silvio messed up
last time,
so if he wants Jack's help,
this is gonna be done
the right way.
All right.
Get along, izzy.
Just be careful.
Silvio's got
very sensitive nipples.
Mnh.
How the hell did you learn
all that legal crap
about intent and whatnot?
I oh, geez.
You didn't call
your old girlfriend, did you?
No!
Jack.
No.
Seven long years.
I been out
like I was taking a dirt nap.
Now I'm back.
I'm here.
For you, Bobby caps.
Look at you.
You look the same.
Ma
This linguine's so good,
I want to make-a love to it.
What are you talking about?
That's your sister?
She get out of town.
Gorgeous!
Gorgeous.
Yo! Bobby caps!
Big Vin! Lou!
Oh! Oh!
Yeah?
Hey, partner.
You mind doing me a favor
and warning me
before nature calls?
What do you want?
I'm getting into some
Silvio stuff here pretty heavy,
and I had some chianti,
and, uh,
and, man,
it's going right through me.
Okay, Silvio.
Well, get ready,
'cause your boys are here.
Showtime.
Oh. Oh, geez.
All right!
Everybody ready
to make a little money?
What's going on?
We was just about to ask you
the same question
Officer.
Okay, Silvio.
Well, get ready,
'cause your boys are here.
Hey.
What?
Up the block.
That blue sedan.
Some guy sitting inside.
I don't like it.
Let's check it out.
Oh, no, Vin.
That's just Silvio's buddy.
Probably drove him over here.
Hey. Yo. Yo.
How you doin'?
Pretty good. Pretty good.
You a friend of Silvio's?
Little bit.
What's your name?
UhPaulie.
Just "paulie"?
What do they call you?
Paulie, uh
The duck.
"Paulie the duck."
That's what they call me.
What are you listening to
Duck?
Now, it's pretty clear
that this here cop
was listening in
on our conversation.
But the big question is,
Silvio
Where is the mike?
I don't know what she's talking about.
Guy isn't a cop.
Look at this character.
Does that look like
a cop to you?
I don't care what he looks like.
The guy's a frickin' cop.
And you was hanging out in the
bar with him a few nights ago.
Yeah. That's how I know
he's not a cop.
Uh-huh.
Huh?
Ta-da.
You cop son of a bitch!
I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna kill you!
Come on!
Whoa, whoa. Ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
I'm sorry, Sil.
I'm gonna have to
ask you to strip.
You don't trust me.
Huh?
After everything
now, Sil, or else.
Going down.
PantsAre going
Down.
You mind?
Okay, ladies.
Feast your eyes.
Oh.
Jack-o.
You taped my areolas.
Chafing like crazy.
You happy?
Everybody sees
what Silvio brings to the party?
Hey, I'm sorry, Sil.
Look at it this way
I mean, all of a sudden,
you show up in town
and this place
turns into cop central.
Put yourself in my shoes.
Your shoes?! Put yourself
in my Manny panties!
I'm the one who was lied to!
Speakin' of which,
I'd like to have a word
with officer two-face here.
I want to talk to you.
You pretended to be my friend.
We went bowling together.
We shared that hooker
in Atlantic city!
Aah!
After everything
we've been through,
you betray me like this?!
Aah!
God!
Is that really necessary?
Was it necessary for you
to enter my circle of trust
and then betray me?!
Aah! Aah!
Ohh!
Aah! Look, I'm a cop,
you're a criminal.
That's kind of
how the relationship works.
Hey! Silvio!
Easy, easy.
The guy's just doing his job.
Come on.
We got to get out of here.
The cops are probably listening.
They're probably
on their way right now.
Any cop who's tuning in
would be here by now.
What kind of a cop
is gonna let their partner
get the snot beat out of him?
That's a good question.
All right.
All I know
Is we can't let this
Distract us
from the easiest score
of our lives.
Those smarty-phones
are waiting
over there in that parking lot.
And the only ones
who knows about them is us.
Everywhere I look, kids
are tapping away on them phones!
I bet they would pay anything
to be the first ones
to get their hands
on the latest one.
I can feel it, honey bear.
This is it!
A-all we need to do
Uh-huh.
Is get a jump on the mobsters
Right.
Force them to tell us where
the smartphones are Okay.
And then hijack
their heist.
Wait.
What if they don't tell us?
Then we shoot them one at a time
till they do.
Let's
go get some goombahs.
Hey, Sil,
you mind putting on your pants
and helping us figure out
what to do here?
This guy's a liability.
Hey, just
I'm I'm
I'm trying to think
this thing through here, okay?
I don't want to jump to any,
you know,
preliminary, uh,
premature conclusions.
Theresa?
T-t-theresa.
What's this guy talking about?
Who's Theresa?
You know what?
Sometimes, when people are,
uh, scared,
they, uh, scream out
their mother's name.
You know, for, like,
protection and whatnot.
It's natural.
Hey, mommy
can't help you now, piglet!
We can't let this guy go.
He's seen our faces.
Yeah, but what
just can't leave him here.
Yeah. No, you're right.
We got to make him dead.
I'm gonna take him out back
somewhere out of the way.
No, no, no, no, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Silvio, let's slow down here.
No, no!
You're the guy who said
we got to think this through.
You're right, and we got to
focus on the score.
Yeah, but there's something you got to know.
Right. One second.
I'm gonna make sure Mr. piggy
don't get to market.
I'll be right there.
Oh, geez!
I'm s
I'm sorry about that.
It was the only way
I could think
to save your life
and keep the sting alive.
That was nice use
of a code word, by the way.
Next time, just
try and work it into a sentence.
It's more subtle-like.
Yeah, I'll remember that
next time I'm getting
punched in the face! Shh!
Aah! It's cold! Let's just
get this over with, okay?
Let's just pretend
that I overpowered you,
and I will go in there
and I will arrest them
for assaulting a police officer.
Well, technically,
I assaulted a police officer.
And come on,
they're never gonna believe
that you could take Silvio.
I got it.
This is what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna loosen this.
And when we're gone,
you slip out,
you call for backup,
you come help us make the bust.
Sound good?
Uh, no, no.
Not really.
Perfect.
Madon!
Silvio,
we really got to talk.
Now, you don't get us wrong.
We're really grateful for
everything you've done for us.
Really grateful.
But this has gotten
out of control.
What's the matter?
You never beat up a cop and
shove him in a freezer before?
Actually, no, Sil.
That's what
we're trying to tell you.
I get it.
You guys are big.
You have somebody else
do the dirty work. I understand.
You know
what kind of work we do?
Big Lou here
he's a dentist.
Has a nice little practice
out in plano.
Vin
he's a photographer.
He specializes in high-end
weddings and bar mitzvahs.
I'm booked till next march,
but if you know
someone who's looking
These are pretty elaborate
fronts you got here.
These aren't fronts.
These are careers.
With what we made
in the score you planned,
we was able to make something
of ourselves.
Big went to school.
Vin got equipment.
And you know my daughter?
She got very sick
one month before
you brought the plan to us.
And because of you,
we was able to afford the
operation that saved her life.
There we go. Yeah!
Oh!
Come o-o-o-n!
Dan!
Dig, Dan!
So, let me get this straight
none of you guys is criminals?
Oh, we didn't want to
let you down, Sil.
But we never really committed
no crimes.
Not until you convinced us
to rob that dog track.
You guys are made guys!
Made-up guys
is more like it.
I mean, sure,
we talk a big game,
but we never really had the
stones to actually do nothin'!
Oh, geez.
The second
the heist was over,
w-we knew we weren't
cut out for it.
Catholic guilt or whatever.
Wait a minute.
Why was youse guys so ready
to steal the smarty-phones?
We felt we owed you.
I mean, get you
back on your feet
like you did for us.
But now this thing
with the cop it ain't us.
We can't go to jail, Sil.
Youse guys, you don't need
to worry about the cops.
There's something
I got to tell you guys.
Everybody, freeze!
Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.
Except you!
That's what's called
a warning shot.
You don't take us to the score
you got set up,
that's the last warning
you gonna get!
I think there's been
a-a big misunderstanding.
The only thing
I'm misunderstandin'
is why I ain't lookin'
at a truck full of smartphones
right now!
Oh, that's, um,
what I'm trying to explain.
One of two things
is gonna happen.
Now, either
you're leaving here with us
and taking us to the phones
Or you ain't leaving here
at all.
That was so badass, baby.
I am totally hot for you
right now!
How hot will you be if
I shoot him in the face, baby?
Not necessary.
What do you say, fellas?
Should we take them
to the smarty-phones?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's more like it.
Now, let's get out of here.
What is that uzi!
Tec-9. Nice.
Yeah? So?
I'm just
you look tough.
You know,
what are you, 5'11", blond?
And your girlfriend,
she's like, uh,
5'6"?
Shut up!
Okay.
Go, damn it!
Get
To
TheDoor.
TrulyGreatPartners
LeaveEach other
LockedInThe freezer!
Okay.
Please
Don't let it get stuck
to the metal.
Uh. Uh.
Okay. Okay.
I
Yeah! Yeah!
Okay. Okay.
Uh-huh.
Okay. Scroll.
Uh!
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Please pick up.
Please pick up.
Jack, absolutely,
positively, no.
Liz, look, I'm sorry!
Your number was
on my speed-dial, all right?
Now, I just
I need you to help me!
Jack, listen,
I'm glad that this
is some kind of joke to you,
but this is my life
that you're messing with here.
No, no, no! Okay.
Look. Wait.
It's not
it's not what you think!
I just need you to
no, you listen to me
I'm the one that has to deal
with work wondering
why I'm helping you.
My boyfriend is wondering
why I'm helping you,
and now I am honestly starting
to wonder why I'm helping you.
Just listen to what
I got to tell you, okay?!
Jack, please don't interrupt me
when I'm trying to hang up
on you.
I really care about you.
I do.
But at some point,
I got to care about myself.
So right now
I'm going to turn off my phone,
and I don't want to talk to you for a
couple of days, okay? No! No! Liz! Don't!
Goodbye.
No! God! Whoa!
What did I tell youse?
Right behind
the electronics store.
Let's go!
Where are the keys?
Keys?
There's 400 "k"
worth of electronics in there.
They don't leave the keys
in the ignition.
You got to steal.
Come on.
You mean like hot-wire?
Yeah. Exactly. Hot-wire.
So
Pleasure doing business
with youse.
Come on.
Let's go.
Hey.
What?
You know, someone's gonna
come lookin' for this here truck
once they realize it's missin'.
But if we unload it
and put it into our ride,
they ain't gonna know
what to look for.
What about them?
They know
what our car looks like.
It won't matter
what they've seen
if they ain't breathin'.
I love you so hard.
I love you too, so hard.
All right, fellas!
We ain't done with you yet!
Silvio.
I think these boxes are empty.
Yeah. Just, uh, go with it.
I'll explain later.
What do you mean?
Look, Bobby
There's something
I got to tell youse.
Freeze! Police!
Drop your guns!
I can't believe
that ass-hat manager fired us.
Like no one's ever accidentally
left a porn site up
on a computer screen before.
Looks like he fixed up sparky.
Oh, yeah!
Dan, there any other weapons
I need to know about?
Dan?
What are youse talking about?
I don't see no dans here.
Enough already, okay?
The sting is over.
We're bringing everybody in.
Sting?
Silvio, is that
why the boxes are empty?
I mean, you were
setting us up, Sil?
I'm Detective Dan stark,
Dallas p.D.
I'm sorry, Bobby.
I was gonna
call the whole thing off
when I realized
that you guys weren't,
you know, bad guys.
Wait a second.
Do you mean to tell me
that we kidnapped a cop
to hijack a heist
that don't even exist?
Basically, yeah.
Man.
I cannot catch a break!
Keep it together, baby.
I'm trying!
Keep it together.
We're still
two guns against one.
And I'm thinking
if anyone's putting theirs down,
it's the pig
that's standing behind us.
How you figure that?
I may not have
my g.E.D.,
but I'm thinkin'
the odds ain't too good
for you to take both of us out
before one of us puts
a few slugs
in your partner over there.
I don't know about you, Jack,
but I haven't been this scared
since Jimmy Carter
was president!
And if you're
in a multiple-threat scenario,
you'd say, "reagan."
That meant take out
the guy on the right.
You say "carter," that meant
take out the guy on the left.
Uh, yeah.
D-dan, I-I'm not really
much of a-a Carter man myself.
More of a Reagan guy,
are you?
No, I just don't think
talking politics
is the best idea right now.
I'm gonna have to agree
with your partner over there.
Put the gun down!
Ha! Yes!
We got him!
You sure about this, baby?
I mean, robbing pharmacies
is one thing,
but killing cops is another.
If you love me, you will do
whatever it takes
to get us out of this.
Jack, I'm gonna have to ask you
to choose a candidate right now!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Is it your Carter or my Carter?!
Any groping you may be
experiencing is unintentional!
However, you do retain
the right to enjoy it!
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Get down! Get down!
You're under arrest!
Geez! She bit me!
I think she gave me the rabies!
I'm gonna have to get
them stomach shots!
Have a seat.
We'll deal with you in a minute.
Those two are taken care of.
Where are the other guys?
Fuggedaboutit.
What?
Dan.
Dan, w-what about
your shot at redemption, huh?
There's always another way
to redeem yourself, partner.
For the record,
we cracked the vandal case
and we caught
the drugstore cowboys.
The drugstore case,
which I think should be
officially classified
as a property crime.
Hm.
Point taken, gentlemen.
I mean, there's just one thing
I'd love to clear up.
Any idea
how these drugstore cowboys
just happened to be
at a store
that was
nowhere near a pharmacy,
where you two just happened
to be conducting a stakeout?
Well, we just happen to be
that good.
Hey.
Hello.
You, uh
Sure you can be seen
talking to me?
Listen, Jack, I'm sorry.
I would never have
hung up on you
if I knew
you were actually in trouble.
Liz, I don't call you
for the hell of it.
I call you because
Well, because you're the best.
At your job, I mean.
Why wouldn't I want to be
with the best?
Well, I think
you're pretty great, too.
At your job.
Liz Traynor.
Uh, yeah, I got a question
about this bust I made today.
I was wondering,
can you help me out?
Hm.
You know I'll always be there
for you, Jack.