The Studio (2025) s01e08 Episode Script

1
[caller] So if you win, you'll thank me?
No, see [chuckles] I'm not personally
nominated, so I don't get to go on stage.
Studio executives
can't be personally nominated.
A movie I green-lit is nominated.
Wait, you don't get to give a speech?
- You don't win a trophy?
- No. [laughs] No.
Matty, I told a whole roomful of people
here you're gonna win a Golden Globe.
The Leventhals drove
from Syosset to watch with me.
Well, you tell the Leventhals that
if the movie Zoë Kravitz directed
wins best musical or comedy,
like it's supposed to,
she will thank me in her speech
in front of millions of people.
Everybody will hear her
say my name. [chuckles]
Matthew, if it's Zoë's movie,
why did you tell me your movie
was nominated?
No, see, I essentially did make the movie.
I'm a part of the filmmaking team.
You know, it wouldn't have happened
without me. But the whole thing is,
nobody knows I had anything to do with it
until Zoë Kravitz thanks me
in her acceptance speech.
Well, she had better thank you
with all you've sacrificed for this job.
[chuckles]
- No wife, no kids.
- By choice, Mom. [laughs]
Just run up on stage
with the rest of them?
Give your mother a little wave, huh?
- Okay, I gotta go. I love you. Bye!
- Bye, honey.
[inhales sharply, sighs]
[person 1] Hey, Matt.
- Hey.
- Hey, Matt.
Hey, how's it going?
[photographer 1] Charli,
look this way, please.
[photographer 2] Charli, looking great.
[photographer 3] Charli. Charli D'Amelio,
over here. Look this way.
- Excuse me, you're in my shot.
- Oh, shit.
Hi, guys! We are at the Golden Globes.
And look who's behind me. Zoë Kravitz.
- And she looks so good. I'm obsessed
- [interviewer] I'm here with Zoë Kravitz.
- Zoë, this is so exciting!
- Hey. How's it going?
How does it feel to be nominated
for best comedy or musical?
I am absolutely thrilled that the Globes
have recognized our film Open.
And at the same time,
it feels a little weird to be
pitted in competition
against other artists, you know?
Like there can really be a winner.
Because I feel like anytime anyone
in this industry gets to do something
they really care about,
you know, that's-that's the real win. So
- That's winning, for sure.
- [chuckles]
Amazing to see you. And we're here at
the Globes, who are you excited to meet?
- [gasps] Matty!
- Patty! Hey! Hey.
- Matty, it's all happening.
- I know. Isn't this exciting?
- It's so cool.
- No, I mean it's really happening.
- I know, it's really exciting. Oh, yeah.
- I've always loved the Globes but
You know, especially when I was boozing.
But being here as a nominee
- Yeah. Yeah.
- it's on a whole other level.
- You win, we all win, you know?
- [sighs] Yeah.
Well, yeah,
except as a producer I can actually win.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I can go up on stage,
take home a statue
and become Hollywood immortal.
And my legacy would be forever enshrined.
Yeah, yeah. It'll be really cool.
Who are all these people?
I don't recognize any of them.
They're influencers.
Most of them don't even go inside.
They just make their red carpet TikToks
and leave.
- [grunts]
- Jesus.
- What the fuck is happening to this town?
- [groans]
I remember when the red carpet
for the Golden Globes
actually stood for something.
Well, yeah, but if you don't get these
phone-toting fetuses
to focus on something
longer than 15 seconds,
all of this is
going the way of DEI departments.
- Oh, that'd be a shame.
- [gasps] Hi!
Oh! We Globezing.
[Matt] We Globezing, yo!
- What's up? Good to see you, man.
- [laughing]
- Ah, you look beautiful. Mwah!
- Look at you. You!
- I'm at table 172. Where are you guys?
- [both] Four.
- Four?
- Yeah.
How am I 168 tables away from you?
Oh, my God, am I with TV people? Ugh.
- Yeesh. Sorry about that.
- Poor thing.
- [attendee] Hey, Patty.
- Oh! Oh, it's Stallone. Hey!
I have to talk to him. I don't want to,
but he still has my horse.
- Sly, where's my Buttercup?
- Holy shit! Watch this.
Adam motherfucking Scott!
- Sal? Holy shit, man. How you doing?
- [chuckles]
- It's been so fucking long!
- I know.
- Hey, what's up, Matt?
- What's up, dude?
Listen, like, 20 years ago,
when I first got out here,
I crashed on Sal's couch
for, like, six months.
- [laughs] I didn't know that.
- Yes!
Fucking guy's socks smelled like
a Coachella port-a-potty.
- True.
- Now his dick does. [laughs]
Very true.
- Hey, what table are you at?
- Uh, three.
- Three? Three?
- Yeah.
- Matt Remick.
- Mitch! Good to see you.
- Zoë loved making Open at Continental.
- Oh, we loved having her.
- She had such a blast.
- Yeah, yeah. That's good.
- Then why don't you--
- [stammers] Can we make Blackwing there?
Yeah. Tell her to
close the fucking deal already.
- Then stop fucking us on the front pay.
- I'm not fucking you on anything, dude.
This will pay her more money
than she's ever made for any movie
in her whole career, okay?
Zoë as a vampire assassin
in a black bodysuit holding a red Glock
dipped in holy water is cash money, bitch.
Hey, why you gotta Jew me like this?
Look, I know we're both Jewish.
I don't love the Jew jokes.
- Jew love it.
- I don't [laughs]
No, seriously,
let's close this fucker, man.
She's on the fence.
If you just sweeten it a little bit.
[announcer] Please take your seats.
The show is about to begin.
Best and final offer.
Take it or leave it, all right?
- I know you're bluffing.
- Okay. Yeah.
- You're bluffing, right?
- Well, get back to me, okay?
[Mitch] Hey! Look at you!
Thank you so much. Don't mind if I do.
[Statsky] Thank you.
This is such an incredible honor.
Um, it's not an Oscar,
but it's still pretty cool.
[crowd laughs]
Uh, when we were pitching
Deafening Silence,
our reps told us
no one is buying limited series.
But now,
we have Golden Globes and they're fired.
[crowd laughs, applauds]
Thank you so, so much
to our incredible cast and crew.
And, of course, I want to say thank you
to the person without whom
I couldn't have done any of this.
My rock, my everything,
my partner through it all,
the love of my life: Ted Sarandos.
- [crowd cheers]
- Thank you. I love you.
Ted, you're the best studio head ever.
[person] Uh, yes, we are married, but, uh,
we're in an open relationship.
But just with Ted. [laughs]
Uh, let's just say
he didn't get rid of all backend.
[crowd laughs]
But all disgusting jokes
about my boss aside,
thank you so much to you, Ted,
and to everyone at Netflix
for letting us make
this incredibly important show. Thank you!
[crowd cheers]
Give it up for them.
Such an important show.
And everyone here
makes such important work.
I love it, and it's why I get nervous,
you know? It's such a tense time.
I hope we get to keep doing it.
And I don't know about you guys,
but I'm starting to feel like
I have to go to the movies.
[crowd laughs]
Like, if I don't buy a ticket,
the whole thing's gonna fall apart.
[crowd laughs]
[chuckling] Like,
every trailer feels like a Kickstarter.
Especially the expensive movies,
like-like Avatar.
That's like a GoFundMe
for all of Hollywood.
[crowd laughs]
If Avatar doesn't work,
none of us will ever work again.
I-I don't care if you don't like it.
It cost $300 million. They need us.
And don't buy a ticket
'cause you love Avatar 3,
buy one 'cause you fucking love movies!
- [crowd cheering]
- All right, we'll be right back.
That was great. He's so funny.
It's an honor to be at the table
with you guys. And, Zoë, this
It's so well-deserved, you know?
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, it's fun.
It's so weird to judge art, though.
Don't you think?
The whole thing's so silly.
- Yeah, it's true. Yeah.
- What a thought! Wow.
Yeah, I just try to have a good time
with these things, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
- And just, uh, be in the moment.
But, uh, I have a good feeling
about tonight. [chuckles]
You have salad? They're not feeding us
back there. It's fucking crazy.
- Sal! Dude! We did it, Joe! [laughs]
- We did it, Joe! Mwah! Oh, my God.
- I'm having a crouton.
- Ooh! Should we take a team photo?
Oh, yes! Yes! Mmm, mmm. Come here.
Patty, get over here, you fucking icon.
- Yeah. Come here, boss.
- Oh, I will, ZoZo.
- That's the boss lady right here.
- All right.
- Actually, Matt
- Yeah. Where do you want me?
Um, maybe just there
so you're not too close.
- 'Cause it's Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.
- Oh. Yeah, take the photo. Oh Yeah.
Obviously. Of course.
- Uh, all right. Everyone get in there.
- Thank you.
- One, two, three Team Open!
- Team Open!
Yeah. [laughs]
Let's get one with Matt holding the camera
kinda vertical,
- 'cause it's better for social.
- Oh. Yeah, okay.
- [Sal] Whoo! Love you!
- Team Open!
- [Kravitz] I love you guys!
- [chuckles] There you go.
- [Sal] Let's take a look.
- It's great. Really good.
- Thank you.
- Ooh!
[sighs] Come on.
Hi, Mom.
[mom] Is JLaw there? Because, if so,
maybe you could--
Jennifer Lawrence is here,
and I will not tell her
to get a shoulder-length haircut. Okay?
I'll talk to you soon. I love you.
Goodbye.
- [clicks tongue] Hey, Matt. You okay?
- Uh, yeah, I'm great. [chuckles]
You sure?
Is it just me,
or does Zoë Kravitz not like me very much?
I knew it. Grow up, Matty.
Mitch Weitz told me she liked you enough
to bring you Blackwing.
Yeah. I mean [sighs] maybe I'm
blowing it out of proportion in my head.
It just seems like she doesn't, like,
consider me a part of the filmmaking team.
And now I'm worried that if she wins,
she's not gonna thank me in her speech,
but maybe that doesn't even matter. Right?
Oh, no, that's everything.
- Everything?
- It
It's the most unsatisfying thing
about being an executive.
- Your name is nowhere on the film. Right?
- Exactly! Yes, yes!
And without a thank-you,
you basically do not exist.
- Exactly! Yes!
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, when I wasn't thanked,
I would sob the entire limo ride home.
[sighs] But now, I'm a nominee.
Must be
one of the perks of getting canned.
Okay. Look, if you guys win tonight,
will you thank me in your speech?
Oh, Matty, I would, of course.
But, no, we all agreed that
Zoë would be the one to speak.
Will you ask Zoë to thank me
in her speech?
[laughs] Yeah, I You're not kidding.
No, I'm not kidd Look, I'll just ask her
to thank me myself, all right?
- No, you will not!
- Why? Why not?
No, you never You do not ask talent
to thank you. That is so pathetic.
Isn't it more pathetic to want something
and be too afraid to ask for it?
Not in this case. Not unless you want her
to know you're disturbingly needy.
I am not needy.
I just need to be thanked tonight.
What if this is my only chance
to be thanked in a Golden Globes speech
for the rest of my life?
Matty, I love you, but I have to go vomit.
What? Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm great. I'm great.
But, it's just
whenever I get even close
to realizing a dream
I blow chunks.
[announcer] From The Boys,
please welcome Erin Moriarty
and Antony Starr.
- How's it going?
- Yeah, great.
Looking forward to a fun night of
watching people blow Ted Sarandos, right?
Yeah. At least you're not at a table
with a bunch of Dutch incels
who made some horror show
I've never heard of.
I'm sitting next to a guy named Joop
who will not speak to me.
Fucking dick.
So however bad your night's going,
mine's fucking worse.
- [Starr] Wait. Why are you staring at me?
- [shushes]
Dude, is this really
a thing you're doing now?
Is what a thing?
I mean You're wearing a cape.
Well, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- Of course I am. It's a formal event.
- Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
Formal cape.
- Okay. Seriously, Mr. Homelander? I mean
- [crowd laughs]
Seriously. I've been a cape guy
my entire life.
I'm not gonna stop now.
Where I come from, it's very common.
Oh, my God. Your homeland is New Zealand,
not Transylvania.
- [crowd laughs]
- Okay. Okay. Relax.
And the winner for Best Supporting Actor
in a Miniseries or Television Film
[gasps] Oh, my
- A superhero of acting. Adam Scott!
- Adam Scott! Whoo!
[crowd cheering]
That's you.
What?
- Oh. Oh, my God.
- Get up there!
He used to crash on my couch,
like, 20 years ago.
He used to crash on my couch, like,
in 2000.
Oh, my God. This is, uh Wow!
Uh [stammers] this is unexpected.
I literally do not have a, uh
a speech prepared,
so I guess I will just thank Ethan
and Giancarlo, my costars.
Uh, Steven Soderbergh,
our director, of course.
Uh, my agents. My, uh, wife and kids.
Everybody at Netflix. All the people
[stammers] Ted Sarandos.
- Ted, I love you.
- [groans]
You know what? On my way in here,
I ran into an old buddy of mine.
The dude whose couch I slept on
when I first came out here.
So if I'm thanking people,
I think I should thank Sal Saperstein.
Come on, man!
- Dude, look what happened.
- Thank you.
- What are you doing?
- I don't know.
- Sal Saperstein!
- Thank you. Thank you.
What What was that?
- [laughs]
- Wow. Congratulations.
And, uh, I think I speak for
most of America when I say,
"Who the hell is Sal Saperstein?"
Yeah, that's me right here!
[chuckles] All right, sir.
You might be the most enthusiastic
seat filler in Globes history.
Give it up for him. All right,
we'll be right back.
- Thank you.
- [phone buzzing]
Sal! That was fucking hilarious!
- Dude, that was insane, right?
- What just happened? [laughs]
I'm going fucking crazy.
My phone is exploding.
- Yo, yo, yo. I'm a meme, Matt.
- Oh, my God. You're so famous.
- Wow. Congrats. Amazing. [laughs]
- I'm a fucking meme, baby!
I feel like I'm on cocaine,
so I'm gonna go do a little bit of cocaine
and see what happens.
This is the best night of my life.
- I fucking love both of you.
- Love you so much! [laughs]
- [laughs] That was wild.
- [laughs, sighs] So funny.
That was so crazy. [inhales deeply]
- So, Zoë, uh, where do you even start
- Yeah.
with writing these
acceptance speeches, huh?
Like, how do you decide
who you're gonna thank, you know?
Um, you know, I haven't really thought
about it.
I mean, I don't think we're gonna win, so
No, I think you really do have
a good shot of winning, actually.
I don't think so, but it's an honor
to be nominated, you know?
Yeah. But do you do like, you know,
something funny, like a shtick?
Or do you do a heartfelt speech
acknowledging everyone
who helped bring the film to life?
I really haven't thought about it,
because we're not gonna win.
But I guess, if I won,
which I'm not going to [laughs]
um, I would just, you know,
thank the Hollywood Foreign Press
and the other nominees
and, you know, Team Open.
- Yeah. Team Open. Right.
- So smart, Zoë. Yeah, play it cool.
- You don't wanna go full Benigni.
- [Zoë.] Right?
No, but also, a lot of people
worked hard to bring the film to life,
and you don't want to forget anyone.
Hey, you haven't met Sly Stallone,
- have you?
- No!
- He's a bucket list selfie, so come on.
- You've been telling me about him.
An icon introducing me
to another icon! [giggles]
[announcer] And the Globe goes to
Thanks. Thank you. Thank you.
Quinta Brunson for Intended Consequences!
[crowd cheering]
- Hey.
- Hey, man.
- Congrats, dude.
- Oh, thank you.
That was such a funny bit,
how you thanked Sal like that.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was like
a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing,
you know?
That's funny. It's like,
some people wait their whole careers
to get thanked in a Globes speech.
I wonder how they feel, huh? [chuckles]
Yeah. I mean, honestly,
I don't think anyone's paying attention
to any of this shit, you know?
- Totally, right? Who cares? [chuckles]
- Yeah.
Oh, my God! Um Okay.
Thank you so much for this.
Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press.
Um, it was just such an honor to be
directed by the amazing Alexander Payne,
and I also have to thank Donna Langley
at Universal and everyone at Universal.
Our incredible producers
and our incredible cast and crew.
Whoo! Um, and you know what?
Uh, look, I've never met him
but he seems like such a fun dude,
and if Adam Scott likes him,
now how bad can he be?
Um, Sal Saperstein,
I want to say thank you to you too!
- [Brunson] Oh, there he is. Thanks, Sal!
- [crowd cheers]
Oh, yeah! Oh, it's me! It's me!
Yes! Yes, right there.
Oh, my God! Sal Saperstein?
[Scott] What?
[host] And now, for fans of schadenfreude,
this is the part of the night
you've been waiting for.
A look at all the people
we've lost this year.
Please hold your applause till the end.
It's what they would have wanted.
- A callback. How fun is that?
- Yeah.
- Thank you. Hey.
- Hey, Gabby.
- How's it going?
- Good, yeah.
I mean, it's the craziest night
to be a publicist
- Yeah. Yeah.
- but I feel good.
- I feel like our girl could get this one.
- Yeah. Really. Yeah.
- It feels like a good vibe, huh? Yeah.
- I know. Fingers crossed. Okay.
Hey, yo. So, um, did Zoë run her,
uh, acceptance speech past you?
- Of course. Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
She sent it to me this morning and we
put it in the prompter, in case she wins.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, do you
happen to remember who she
- who she thanks in her speech?
- Um, I think so, yeah.
Uh-huh. Okay, look, um,
I'm just gonna ask.
Am I one of the people
she's gonna thank if she wins tonight?
Oh. Um
I don't think I remember
'cause the speech is so long.
Is my name in the speech? Just tell me.
Am I in the speech?
Not in the draft we loaded into
the prompter, no.
Watch the show and have fun.
And a very special thanks to Ted Sarandos
at Netflix. Thank you so, so much.
Yeah, of course.
Ted Sarandos. That fucking guy.
Thank you so much.
And I suppose thanking Sal Saperstein has
- [scoffs]
- [crowd laughs]
become a bit like rubbing
a Buddha statue's belly for luck.
[crowd laughs]
Except that in this case you've already
won, so it really doesn't make any sense.
Yet nothing in this business
really makes sense, does it?
So thank you, Sal Saperstein!
[Sal] What is happening?
Thank you, Jean Smart.
Thank you, Jean Smart.
- It's me! It's me. Right there.
- [laughs]
All right, all right, all right.
[crowd cheering]
- Hey, dude. How's it going, bro?
- Uh It's okay.
So, uh, Zoë Kravitz is afraid she forgot
someone's name from her acceptance speech.
I just wanna make sure it's in there,
in case she wins.
Yeah, the speeches,
they're already proofed and loaded,
so I can't really change them
at this point.
You could change it. You got
the keyboard there. Just type it in.
Yeah, I have a keyboard but I need
permission to change it from Zoë
or her publicist. That's the protocol.
Yeah. They're both, uh, tied up
out there right now,
but they asked me to come back here
and just get it done, so
Yeah, yeah, right. And who are you?
- I, um I work at, uh
- Have a seat.
Continental Pictures.
They made Zoë's film.
So anyway, Matt Remick is the name.
He's the head of Continental Studios,
and Zoë's
She's worried she forgot
his name from her speech.
She'd be devastated
if she didn't thank him, so--
- [Zoë] Hey.
- Hey.
What are you doing here?
Oh, uh, I What-What are you doing here?
I just saw you at the table. [chuckles]
Yeah, I'm also presenting. I just wanted
to double check my lines.
Yeah, Miss Kravitz, did you ask this man
to change your acceptance speech?
I'm sorry, Matt What?
You're Matt?
He asked me to put his name, Matt,
in your speech.
- I [sighs]
- What is going on? [chuckles]
I was joking.
He wasn't joking.
Would you sh
[stammers] Look, let me just explain this
to you real fast, okay?
Yeah, please do.
It's-It's actually very simple. I just
I just didn't want you to forget
to thank me in your speech.
Oh, and you thought I'd say
whatever's on the teleprompter,
like I'm fucking Ron Burgundy?
That was the hope.
[stammers] I-I'm I'm very proud
of this movie,
and I didn't write it or direct it,
and the only way anyone will know
that I contributed anything to it
is if you thank me in your speech.
And honestly, I figured
you wouldn't give a shit.
You don't seem to give a shit
about this award stuff at all, you know?
All right. Let's get one thing straight.
I give a shit. I give a ginormous shit.
But you keep saying how silly it is.
I'm pretending! I'm already rich.
I'm already famous.
Winning awards is like
the only thing that's left.
Okay, great! Well, then
you understand how important it is.
You see why I wanna be thanked, so I--
Yes, I do. But you're not
a part of my plan.
I have this figured out to the T,
and I'm not getting played off.
That shit's embarrassing.
But I thought you didn't think
you were even gonna win this thing.
Oh. I'm gonna win.
I have gone to every luncheon
and bruncheon that those
Hollywood Foreign fucks have thrown.
I have put in the work,
and I am winning this shit.
It's three words. "Thanks, Matt Remick."
That's all I want you to put in there,
you know?
You don't understand. I have practiced
this in the mirror a million times.
I can't change it now. It's perfect.
I start genuinely shocked,
then get very humble,
become overwhelmed
with gratitude and start crying.
Then I compose myself, give a big thanks
to Team Open, and that's it.
This movie would not exist
if it wasn't for me. I green-lit it.
You and me, we are Team Open, you know?
- You can't possibly believe that.
- I do!
Oh, my God. That is so fucking sad.
Dude, shut the fuck up, man.
I'm out here trying to show
Christopher Nolan that I have range,
and all I can hear is you whining.
We're so sorry, Ramy,
and you are killing it tonight.
Zoë, I was not yelling at you. I was
yelling at whoever the fuck this guy is.
I love you and I love your movie.
It's really good.
It's not just diversity good.
- You're gonna win.
- Oh, my God. Oh, I love you so much.
We're not gonna win, but I love you.
Zoë, I'm begging you here.
My mother is watching.
I have to go rehearse my bit.
[breathing heavily]
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, God, no. Fuck! [grunts]
Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no.
[Mitch] Matt!
Yeah. I've got eyes on him.
Yeah, I'm gonna tell him right now.
Yo, what's up?
That was Zoë. She's gonna
back out of the Blackwing deal.
Are you ser She told you that
right now? Are you ser--
Yeah, she just called me, and she said
that y-you tried to put your name
- in her acceptance speech?
- Oh, fuck.
[stammers] Have you lost
your fucking mind?
She is livid, okay?
So-So f-forget about thanking you,
she will never work with Jew again.
Now's not the time
for these fucking jokes, okay?
I'm not joking.
Do I look like I'm kidding?
We need to make Blackwing, okay?
It's a priority.
- Yeah, I understand that.
- You gotta smooth things over!
Me? What the fuck am I--
Yes! First dollar gross.
We will give her first dollar gross.
- Really?
- Yes.
Well, now you're talking
like a rational Jew-man being.
Hmm.
When young writers ask me for advice
on how to succeed
in the entertainment business,
I tell them three things:
First, shorter is better.
Second, faster is better.
Third, don't take anybody's advice.
[crowd laughs]
When I look back on my career,
there are far too many people to thank
for one speech, so I'll whittle it down.
Thank you, Sal Saperstein.
[crowd cheers, laughs]
Yeah, come on.
- Yes! Yes! This guy.
- You can't handle the Sap.
This guy right here.
- That's me. That's me. That's me.
- Oh, my God. [chuckles] Oh, my God.
Yeah!
- I love you, Aaron Sorkin.
- Yes!
- You can't handle the Sap.
- Yes!
- Whoa.
- Sal Saperstein!
[sighs]
- Hey, Ted.
- Hey, Matt.
I gotta ask you, man,
how do you get all these stars
to thank you in their speeches?
[stammers] You showing up
on set every day,
you giving them fucking fruit baskets,
or something?
[chuckles] No, it's contractual.
No, I force them to.
They literally have to thank me.
[toilet flushes]
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not gonna leave something
that important to chance.
Yeah, no. Wow, that's that's genius, man.
I gotta do that from now on.
Yeah. Yeah, right?
I mean, otherwise, why in the world
would they possibly thank us?
We're bean counters, they're artists.
Yeah, I mean, I gu I mean
- I am an artist, so [chuckles]
- [laughs] That's hilarious.
No, I mean, I am. I mean, we're
we are both artists, Ted.
Oh, I am not a fucking artist. [chuckles]
Well, I am a fucking artist.
Well, even if you're crazy enough
to really believe that,
don't say it out loud in front of
the real artists.
Oh, I think your category's next.
Shit.
[chuckles] What a dumbass.
You know the worst part of awards season
is all the constant pandering
for attention.
[cooing] Isn't that right, Basha?
Don't we hate the pandering-wandering?
[normal voice] Yeah, the dog sitter
flaked and Basha hates to be alone.
But I swear, the turd in the greenroom
was not his.
It was Dame Judi Dench,
but, Judi, I picked it up for you.
- I love you.
- [crowd laughs]
Here to present the award for
Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy,
is a man who has done neither.
Zack Snyder, everybody.
[crowd cheers]
[Snyder] Thank you.
Now, for any of you who felt like
the show's gone by too fast
or felt it's not nearly long enough,
don't worry, I'll be releasing a six-hour,
black-and-white, 4:3 version
of the show, Snyder Cut style,
on, uh, digital download and Blu-ray,
29.99, so look for that.
[crowd cheers]
It'll be well worth it.
All right, let's get to it, shall we?
The nominees for Best Motion Picture,
Musical or Comedy,
Dogs Are People Too
Intended Consequences,
Whip-Smart, Open
[Matt] Yeah.
and finally, Day Lilies.
The Golden Globe goes to
Sal Saperstein. No! Open!
- Open! Open! Yeah! Yeah!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God! [squeals]
- Yeah! Yeah, we did it. Yeah, yeah.
- [laughs] Oh!
[music plays]
- Patty! Congrats. [chuckles] You won.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[Patty] I'm an award winner.
We did it. We did.
I did it. [chuckles] It's happening.
- Amazing. Amazing.
- [Zoë] Thank you.
Oh, my God. [laughing] Whoo!
Wow. Wow. [laughs]
[music ends]
I was not expecting this. I
I know people say that,
but I really, really wasn't. Um, wow.
I I-I really can't even believe
that I'm even in the conversation
with visionaries like Alexander Payne
and his masterful storytelling
in Day Lilies,
or Jonathan Levine and his hilarious
and heartfelt Dogs Are People Too.
It is so silly the way they pit us
against each other like this
Yes.
and so I accept this award
on behalf of all of us.
[crowd cheers, applauds]
And [sobs, stammers] Sorry. [sniffles]
I am so I am so grateful
that I get to do this for a living.
To make art and to tell stories
from the heart is a privilege
and one I don't take lightly.
Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press.
Thank you to my amazing cast and crew.
And yes, thank you, Sal Saperstein, who
actually did work on my movie! [chuckles]
And my rock of a producer, my mentor,
my bestie, Patty Leigh. [chuckles]
Oh, Zo. [chuckles, gags]
I love you. I Um
Oh, and, um, there is one more person
I would like to thank.
- Don't play me off.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Um, he believed in the movie from day one.
Without him, the film would not
have been made,
so I wanna take this opportunity
- to say thank you so much
- [music plays]
[mouthing words] Matt Remick.
[crowd cheering]
Whoo! [laughs]
All right. Yes, yes, Zoë's here.
So, how did the speech play?
Because I really didn't think I was gonna
win, so I was up there, like, rambling.
- I don't even know what I was saying.
- People were spellbound.
- Really?
- Yes. It was so authentic
- and endearing. And magnetic.
- [sighs] Aw.
- Thank you. I love you. [laughs]
- Hey.
- [mom] She didn't say your name.
- I know. I know.
Alan Freedland, who's deaf as a post now.
Nothing! What happened?
[stammers] I don't know
what to tell you, Mom.
I'm sorry. It's It's, uh, a
a c-complicated situation.
Uh, I'll
I'll tell you about it later, okay?
Uh, I gotta go.
- Okay, but call me back.
- Um, I love you. Bye.
- What's up, motherfucker?
- [squeals] We won!
- We fucking did it! Mwah!
- [laughs] We did it!
Oh, and guess what the headline
of the night, The Ankler, said.
"The MVP of the evening is Continental
VP of production, Sal fucking Saperstein."
Oh, my fucking God.
All this just for letting Adam Scott
crash on your skid-marked couch.
- You have officially won Hollywood.
- I love you.
- Sap! Dude, look what we did! No way!
- [Sal] No! Dude! Dude! Come on.
- Yeah!
- We fucking did it!
Hey, listen. Jimmy Kimmel
rented out The Penthouse.
It's gonna be the best after-party ever.
You wanna go?
- I love Jimmy Kimmel! I'm fucking in!
- Yeah!
- I won't be at work tomorrow! [babbles]
- Okay. Yeah.
- [Scott] Sal Saperstein!
- Yeah!
- Oh. Hi.
- [cheering, applause]
[Zoë] Hi.
- [Mitch] Well done.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
Wait, Matt! Where are you going?
Oh! Uh, that's me.
I'm just heading home. It's
- You know, it's been a long night.
- Oh.
- Did you tell him?
- Well, I was about to.
- Tell me what?
- She's good to close the deal.
We've got a movie. Team Blackwing!
- Team motherfucking Blackwing!
- Really?
- Yes!
- Oh, my God! Team Blackwing! Yes!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
- Good Shabbas.
- Oh, yeah. You too.
- Thank you, honestly.
- Yeah.
You're gonna make another great film.
We'll be back in a few years.
- You'll get another one of those.
- I doubt that, but [chuckles]
- I'll talk to you soon.
- Matt, wait! I-I got cut off,
but you did hear that I did say thank you?
I did. I saw. I saw your mouth.
- You mouthed my name. I appreciate that.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
I'm so sorry I went crazy in there, so
- [stammers] Yeah. [laughs]
- No, no. It's okay, it's okay.
But really, I-I-I mean it. Thank you.
Thank you for green-lighting Open.
Well, I believed in you
from the very start and,
you know, at the end of the day, you're
the artist, I'm just the bean counter.
- [chuckles] Have a good night. Okay.
- Yeah. I'll talk to you soon.
- [gasps] Hi!
- [crowd] Zoë! Hey, baby! Hey!
Oh, Matt. You know
you'll get one of these someday.
You just have to get fired first.
[chuckles] Might happen sooner
than you think. [laughs]
Congratulations, Patty.
You really, really deserve that, okay?
- Thank you. Thank you.
- I'm happy for you. Yeah. Thank you.
- Thank you, Matt Remick!
- Thank you, Patty Leigh! [laughs]
- Team Open! Yeah! Whoo! Team Open!
- [Zoë] Team Open! Whoo!
Yeah! Whoo! [laughs] Yeah!
[inhales sharply, sighs] Fuck! [sighing]
[driver] Your movie lost?
[sighs] No, it won.
Take me home, please.
[driver] You got it.
[sighs]