The Trades (2024) s01e08 Episode Script

1
Are you afraid of dying?
Are you not afraid of dying?
It is something I am obsessed with
and I can't help but think
about how I'm going to die,
which is why
I'm making season two
of a TV show called
We're All Gonna Die.
Things haven't gotten
a hell of a lot better
since the first season
of our show.
The collapse is so near.
Holy Moses.
I'm going to ask some of the
smartest people I can find
to help me face my fear again.
It could bring about
the end of life as we know it.
What?!
You strike me as
a visual learner
so let me walk
you through this.
Or we could just watch the
real thing happening beside us.
Dewey:
That is the stack.
This is the flare tip.
This is the crane.
Your brother is on the ground
"attempting" hand signals.
Not sure why,
the dudes
150 feet in the air
need to be talking to the dudes
in the crane so that, you know,
the flare tip doesn't fall and
they fall and it comes down
and hits Backwoods and
he plummets to his death
and they land on top of
him and everybody dies.
Jesus Christ.
Swirling toilet.
That's how I remember
those hand signals.
Backwoods is
probably like, uh
Yeehaw!
Tip is goin' up,
time to bolt
this sucker down.
In the clear,
time for a beer
and I might be
And then, you know,
Operator Phil is like
Good work people.
We just put a dome
on that dick.
And Todd's over there.
I should set my sister up
with that down-to-earth,
lean journeyman pipefitter
named Dewey.
That's basically it.
If they listened
to my ideas,
this would be seamless,
but there's politics.
Alright, good work, fellas.
This sucker goes online
after two hundred welds.
Whatever he says is wrong.
It's more like 208 welds.
It's not, it's 200!
Mr. Conch,
pleasure to have you.
Morning.
Welcome.
- Marcus.
Nice to see you again, sir.
"Sir" is my dad.
Apologies, Jamar.
We've been looking
all over for ya.
I know, I know.
Backwoods:
Want you to check
this thing over here.
Taser:
Cheers to Todd's Sister.
Huh?
Aw, that's nice.
What?
Taser:
Come on.
You fuckers!
Aw, you got me!
You're one of us!
You're one of us, sister.
Jamar:
The accounting errors
under Mr. Bennett
were extensive.
Jesus. Shit.
Jamar:
We're still waiting for
an official dollar amount.
Motherfucker.
From what I've been
told it is significant.
I'd like to recognize
Chelsea's efforts
in bringing them to light.
It must have been
no easy task.
Give us the fucking numbers!
Oh, it was nothing at all.
So the question remains:
where's the money?
Precisely.
Bennett.
When was he last seen?
At the company
golf tournament.
He has my money,
which makes him the most
valuable thing here!
Actually, this whole
refinery is valuable.
The misappropriation of
funds is proof of that.
Why do you wanna
close this facility?
It's like sending a
horse to the glue factory
that's still winning races.
Charles:
That's a good one.
You come up with
that yourself?
Come on, Charles.
Charles:
Okay, fuck accounting.
We have smarter people than
us taking care of that.
My focus here is to
shut this town down.
Oop, that's a slip.
I meant shut this
refinery down.
And why do I personally
have to watch 300 cocks
to get a conclusive
piss test?
I-I don't understand.
What happened?
Every single worker
passed their urine analysis.
Well, of course they did.
Jamar:
Don't celebrate just yet
because everyone tested
positive for chlamydia.
Charles:
All 300 men and eight women.
What are the odds?
I've been trying to get out of
this place for a decade now.
You donkeys have
made it possible.
This is on you!
You're outta here!
I'll give you 'til
end of the day
to pack up your stuff.
Firing me is one thing,
but closing this plant
now is fucking moronic.
We're on the verge
of revolutionizing the
oil and gas industry
and you're too fucked
in the head to know it!
Our very own chief
engineer Medhi Chowdry,
has designed the new-
Charles:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jamar told me all about it.
Mr. Chowdry the one that's
locked up in a tiny white room,
sweatin' out the booze.
He has challenges that
he needs to overcome,
but his brilliance
is undeniable.
Leonard, would you
educate this idiot?
It's a 25% improvement
in clean air burn.
As far as I know,
it's the first time
it's been done.
Every refinery in the world
will want access to this.
So what you're telling me,
I'm leaving money
on the table?
A fortune.
And you know, the Earth.
Okay. Ideas don't
make me money.
Operational tech does.
If you can show me
that this works,
maybe my ears will
work better too.
Prove it!
I fucking will prove it.
Chelsea:
Your time's up, old man.
Come on, Leonard.
Go, go, go.
I'm not finished.
Find this rat ass Bennett.
I always expect some
kind of bullshit,
but this was not
on my bingo card.
That makes two of us.
This is the first
time I've been fired.
No one will hire me
once Charles drags my
name through shit.
I know it seems
really bad right now,
that's because it
just happened.
Would you believe that I
was once fired by Conch too?
Yes. Easily.
I was coming down a ladder,
thirty feet up,
and my tie-off broke loose,
knocked me unconscious.
My tool bag went flying.
I mean, it was a
fucking yard sale.
And all the shit
fell to the ground.
I almost killed
three guys
who are now my friends.
Wow. I'm-I'm sorry.
And the guys gave me a
really fuckin' hard time
and corporate wrote me off
and basically
shit-canned my ass.
It fucked me up
for a long time.
But at the end of the day,
the guys stood by me
and I got rehired.
Is that why you
pursued management?
Well, in a one horse
town like Imperial Valley,
this desk is the
top of the ladder.
Well, in my absence,
I guess that now makes
you Site Manager.
"Acting" Site Manager.
Yeah, by default.
You know, Charles acknowledged
that money was missing
and he showed interest
in Medhi's innovation.
We're onto something.
I'm gonna complete
the flare stack,
get that
cocksucker operational.
And I'm gonna spend my
last day looking for Bennett
to show Charles where
the fucking money went.
Hey.
What? You can't just leave.
They can't just fire you.
They can, and we're
lucky it's only me.
I burned a lot of
bridges in retail,
but they are always hiring.
And actually, my uncle
owns a few farms.
Maybe he has something?
That's super thoughtful.
I mean, this
industry's transient.
We go where the work is.
There's opportunities
out west.
What?!
No! That's so far!
I don't want you to leave.
I mean, II don't
have to go alone.
I was not expecting that.
But I-I actually
do travel light
'cause besides a toiletry bag
and, you know, some clothes,
I'm-I'm actually pretty poor.
Oh, would you guys just make
out already get it over with.
It's a red dot for you.
I don't get it.
Can you at least tell me
why you were shit-canned?
Yeah. So every piss sample
tested positive for chlamydia.
Whoa. So that means
that one of you-
No, no, but not me.
Um, not me, but I should
talk to Bum and Bummer,
and Jimi.
But hold on, it's a-it's
a drug test. Narcotics.
Why would they be
testing for STDs?
I mean, that's gotta
be illegal, right?
It is most
definitely illegal.
A blatant disregard of our
freedoms and democratic rights.
Just the man I
was looking for.
To be continued.
Sorry to cooch block.
Thanks for listening.
Taser:
Yeah, I've worked
on the pipelines.
Money's primo but
the food blows.
But they do have direct
flights to Vegas.
Jimi:
Fuck you, you
little fuckin' prick!
Alright, I can still throw
you in a drainage ditch
and never find
your fuckin' body,
you little fuckin' shit.
Motherfucker said
I was too old.
He's not wrong, Jimi.
Yeah, well, you know,
two blown ACLs,
a hip replacement
and a slipped disc.
I get it. Fuckin' old.
Dewey:
Hey Todd.
Taser:
What's the word?
Chelsea was just fired.
Ma' man, you did it!
No, this is a very bad thing.
She was good for this place.
She had our backs
and because of that,
she got shit-canned.
You were the one that started
the hate-train for her.
Yeah.
- Remember?
Yeah, I was fuckin' there.
Boys, here's the plan.
We do the work,
and we get it done
before Conch leaves
to demonstrate our value.
I need a list of
every capable-
actually, fuck it,
anyone that's held
a welding torch,
Even if it was welding
class in high school.
Will you boys lift my
probation for this?
I promise no more
cowboy shit.
Shut the fuck up.
Let's finish the stack.
The board members don't
live in this town.
And who cares if that
old milk bag gets richer?
We get to stay the same.
And what we got is
pretty fuckin' special.
Yeah.
You get to watch your
grandkids play baseball,
get that other hip done.
You get to buy
that crotch-rocket
you've been lookin' at.
And probably write it off.
Yeah.
Let's do it for Medhi.
Huh?
Fuck!
Backwoods:
Fuckin' rookie!
Ten names is all my
guys can come up with
and I'm one of them
fer fuck's sakes.
There's no fucking way we
complete 200 plus welds
by the end of the day.
We've got the material
but we need the manpower.
Never seen a more expensive
pile of bolts in my life.
There ain't enough welders
in town to get this done.
Well, there aren't
enough active welders.
Fuck it. I could go to the
Leaky Pipe and grab some guys.
Huh?
I mean, they might be half-cut,
but who gives a fuck?
Do it. Throw a
line out, Jimi.
See who bites. Good idea.
Steph :
Hey Todd, we need you
down at the flare stack.
There's been an incident,
but everybody's okay.
Copy that.
I'll be right there.
Backwoods:
It coulda happened
to anyone.
Now let's just leave
it off the books.
Literally one foot to the left
and I'd be rehearsing a eulogy.
Yeah, but you're not.
Why were you rushing?
What were you
trying to prove?
Audrey:
Nothing.
Guys, what am I doing here?
Write her up.
Whoa.
There's no special treatment.
She needs to learn
this place is dangerous.
I mean, it's only thirty feet
but he could have been killed.
Alright.
I don't know, man.
Fuck. I got shit to do.
Wait.
Believe it or not,
this is a good thing.
You learn, you get better.
We only have each other
when we're out here, Auds.
Just tryin' to look
out for ya, okay?
We're good?
Yeah.
I love you.
I love you too.
What room is he in?
Number one.
How do you know this?
I have a file
on everyone.
Including me
Just a small one for you.
You're squeaky clean.
Except for that
one time in Regina.
That's a conversation
for later.
I'm gonna stand over here.
The last encounter he
and I had was specific.
No. Get that crazy
bitch away from me, Homer.
She's a dick mangler.
Bennett, Charles is
a very powerful man.
He has "make people
disappear" money.
And right now there is a very
big angry man coming for you
that I guarantee has ripped
out fingernails with pliers
and hooked nutsacks
up to car batteries.
He's fucking huge.
Okay.
- Okay.
We can break in.
- Okay. Yeah.
We can break in.
- There's a-
Is it safe?
I apologize for everything
regarding the catheter
that was offside and
out of character.
No shit.
Well, if there-there's anything
I can do to make it up to you,
you just let me know.
Touch it.
What?!
What?
Oh, hey hey, there he is.
Bennett:
Oh, he is fuckin' huge.
And do you know why
Charles sent him?
I think he wants me dead
because we embezzled
a bunch of money
and I know more
than I should.
Don't fuck with us.
I'm not.
Well, where is it?
Complicated.
Classic one pocket
to the next.
Not much else.
I fuckin' knew it!
Okay, you need
Witness Protection,
you need surgery. Fuck.
We need acid to burn
off your fingerprints.
Could you send
me to Thailand?
For the weather.
I've got bronchitis.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Fuckin' right, Jimi.
Let's kit 'em up.
We'll see.
This way, boys.
Awesome
- Great job.
Right on, Dad.
- Yeah.
Two of them are sober.
Not that guy.
- Not him. Not even close.
Your face doesn't look happy.
There are issues
in the flare line
and I've pinpointed the problem
to a weld at the connector box.
Todd:
Isn't that off the
fuckin' ground?
It's forty feet up and it's a
confined, awkward-ass spot.
Now your face
doesn't look happy.
Todd:
It's truly fucked.
Someone can make
this weld, no?
Come on. Anybody? Anybody?
Alright, fine. Okay.
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
I mean, some of these old dogs
did this shit thirty years ago,
barefoot and
without a harness,
but I don't know,
the confidence level is down.
And fuck, insurance.
Holy shit.
If somebody takes
a dive, man.
Taser:
Don't fuckin' look at me.
I'm not built for
height, skis or sedans.
Backwoods:
I've seen the weld.
It's like masturbatin'
on a city bus.
It's doable,
but it's difficult.
Either way,
one of us has to try.
Well, what's it
gonna be Goldenarm?
I get the fuckin' hint, alright.
Backwoods:
Oh, thatta boy!
Jimi:
It's so easy.
Yes!
Come on.
Todd:
Oh, man.
This piece of junk again?
Stop wastin' our time.
You ready, Goldenarm?
Got everything we need.
Let's do this, brother.
Come on.
- Dewey: Alright, let's go.
Let's see your right hand,
right paw slips it in there.
How does this work?
What the fuck is this,
Dewey, a video game?
Oh, it's-it's an
impossible weld.
If you fail,
we have to rebuild
this section.
And by that time
we're all unemployed
and this stack is a-a
glorified art installation
that we all get to stare
at for years to come.
How in the fuck do they
let you coach little league?
I remember when you
wanted to quit the trades.
Look at you now, huh? Foreman.
Finally, Site Manager.
Acting Site Manager.
Jimi:
Shut the fuck up, Dewey.
Yeah, what he said.
This is a layup.
You got this.
Thanks, Auds.
You know, I'd say some words
of encouragement to ya,
but you don't need 'em.
You got your-your Red Seal,
your fancy set up here.
Uh? You, you just,
you gotta remember though
that you're only as
good as your last weld,
so get up there
and burn some rod.
And for God's sake,
don't be a pussy.
Thanks, Dad.
- Okay.
Thanks, Dad.
How high up is this?
Hope you brought your diaper.
Oh fuck.
Think they got this?
Oh fuck, no.
Well, she's a tight squeeze,
so it's a good thing
you got narrow hips.
And shoulders.
The fuck?
Put some coal on
the fire good sir.
We got work.
Weed doesn't fuck
your cardio my ass.
I'm just not good at stairs.
Well, I guess we
better suit up.
So it looks like you're
gonna be horizontal
and tied up like a knot.
That elbow there,
it's right fucky.
And I don't know
who fucked it up.
It's gotta be an engineer.
Well, let's fix it.
Hold that.
- Yeah mon.
Okay.
- Alright. Shield.
Backwoods: Shield.
- Yessir.
What else?
Let's get Dewey's
robot arm on.
Backwoods:
Alright.
Hope he knows what
the fuck he's doing.
If this works.
Tell me when it's on.
Wait, one more thing
Do not fuck this up.
You wanna do it?
No I do not!
That's what I thought.
Stupid fuckin' spot.
Backwoods:
That's it, brother.
Squeeze in there like a
dirty fuckin' old sock.
Todd:
Shit! Fuckin' metal grating.
Fuck.
You gettin' it?
- Nope.
Rod:
Shouldn't we do something?
Get 'em some tools
or somethin'?
No, Rod. Nobody moves.
Nobody gets hurt.
If they need anything
they'll radio or yell at us.
No news is good news.
Todd:
This arm is fucked!
Backwoods:
Quit bitching!
fuck there Backwoods.
I have to do it by hand.
Backwoods:
Shit.
This thing is
fuckin' clunky, man.
We've wasted enough time with
Dewey's piece of shit science.
Fuck the robot arm then.
You don't need it anyways.
Just like riding a bike.
No shield?
What are you gonna do,
the old "safety squint"?
I can't get my
head in there.
I'm going blind and
I'm going left-handed.
I'm sorry, lemme just clear the
shit outta my fuckin' ears.
You're going south-paw?
That or we tear
the platform apart.
Backwoods:
Holy fuck, brother.
What's the plan?
Pass me the fuckin' stinger.
Not that stinger, jackass.
It's right in front of ya.
Some helper you are.
You could have at least
passed me the fuckin' rod.
What kind of crazy twisted
wizard dick are you makin'?
Todd:
It's the only
way to get at it.
Backwoods:
I guess I should have lubed
ya up and shoved you in there.
Todd:
What are you sayin'?
Backwoods:
Nothing. I farted.
What the fuck is going on?
Here we go.
Backwoods:
Give her shit.
Todd:
Oh yeah, it sounds good.
May the welding
gods be with us!
Taser:
Did Todd order OT meals?
Nom.
Todd:
Ow. Shit. This shit is hot.
Is it workin'?
Did you do it?
I don't wanna brag,
but that bead is tighter
than a squirrel's ass.
Hey Phil, ya lazy fuck.
You wanna peel yourself off
that chair and check the weld?
Make sure she holds.
Come on.
Todd's a pro, but we still
gotta see if it lights.
What's he sayin'?
Will you shh?
Were you gonna kiss me?
What? I'm askin'.
Goldenarm is back, baby!
Okay everyone,
the flare stack
is ready to go.
You still gotta light it.
Yeah. No shit.
I'm glad I cancelled my dinner
plans for this gathering.
Bennett:
Thank you, sir.
We're happy to have
you here, ah, Chuck.
Shut up.
What is goin' on?
I told them everything.
These two have been
embezzling from the company.
That's why there
are discrepancies.
Bennett:
And that's why I had
the heart attack.
It comes with the
territory of being a leader.
Charles:
Look at who you're relying
on for this information,
a lunatic, a junkie.
His fuckin' brain's
like a kicked in pumpkin.
Alright, tap the brakes,
Chuck.
Do I constantly crave
the sweet release
that stimulants provide?
Yes.
Do I act on that craving?
Yes I do.
But am I a junkie?!
No sir, I am not a junkie.
You're accusing your boss
and the owner of this
company of embezzling?
Coercion, attempted murder.
Jesus.
It's Mr. Huge!
Mr. Protein Pig.
Has anyone ever told you you
have a very unhappy face?
You should get
that looked at.
I'm not going anywhere, man!
He's a fuckin' idiot!
Accusations have
ramifications.
I'm 73 years old and I
got highly paid lawyers
that'll keep this in the
courts till I'm fuckin' dust.
And go fuck yourself!
We just busted our asses
off to get this thing rockin'
and he just waddles away
like a fucked up penguin?
I don't have a law degree,
but he is guilty.
Allegations are one thing,
proof is another.
Charles has been cagey since
you two flagged accounting.
I need to speak to some people
but this is far from over.
Okay, good.
Todd, your work on this
project is impressive.
Very quick turnaround.
Thank you, Jamar.
And now if Medhi's
innovation works,
it could make the
company millions.
Leave Charles to
me and the Board.
We'll do a full
investigation.
Don't you worry.
Okay, good.
Jimi :
Todd, come in.
Wipe your ass and
pull up your pants.
It's time.
Copy that.
Backwoods:
Don't look down the barrel.
Jimi:
Hey, numbnuts.
What are you doin'?
Hey, what the fuck
are you doin'?
You never take
him hunting?
This guy? No, he
wouldn't shoot a bird.
Here. I'll get
the next one.
Dewey:
I never get to shoot.
Jimi:
Fuck off, Dewey.
Easy, easy.
Up, up, up, up,
up, up, up, up!
You gotta be able
to hold this back.
Jimi:
And cock it back.
Cock that thing back
and don't fuck it up.
It's bad luck if you
miss on the first try.
Dewey:
Double rainbow.
Backwoods:
Not bad, Rook.
Did you shoot?
Shit, sorry Jimi,
the valve wasn't open.
Try again.
Doesn't count.
Thanks. We're good.
Okay, here we go.
How's it going?
Just wait, just wait.
All right. Giddy up.
Actually fuckin' did it!
Yeah, they did.
Yeah!
You gettin' this, Medhi?
Medhi:
Yes! Yes, we did it!
Patient:
Fuck off!
Fuck you!
Phil, how we lookin'?
Remember how you
were gloating
about that 25% clean
air/burn increase?
I'm seeing 29.
Oh.
Is that good?
Yes.
- That's good, right?
Yeah, that's good.
What's up?
- Hey.
Hey Todder.
- Hey TaterTodd.
Fellas.
- Todder.
What up, Todd?
- How's it goin'?
Good.
Same thing. On his tab.
The fuck you are!
Guy makes ten bucks
an hour more than me.
You can pay you cheap prick.
Actually, Site Manager
makes 15.85 more than you.
Holy shit!
But that hasn't
been confirmed.
And I'll believe it
when it happens.
Thanks for having
my back, brother.
Hey, I can't think of anybody
who deserves it more than you.
Straight up.
Thank you, bro.
And I mean, honestly,
the amount of cocks
that you had to suck
to get to the top
is-is remarkable.
News Reporter :
In breaking news
Taser:
Yo, turn that TV up!
News Reporter :
Former Site Manager at the
Conch Industries' refinery
has entered a voluntary plea
agreement with the government
on embezzlement and other
charges relating to his time.
Oh wow. They
used the mugshot
when he got caught
with the hooker.
They forgot to charge
him for being a fuckhead.
Alright, you clearly don't know
how the judicial system works.
Good talking to you, fucker.
Backwoods:
Shh! Everyone shut the
fuck up for a minute!
CEO and owner, Charles Conch,
was taken into custody.
I'm innocent!
I didn't do nothing.
News Reporter :
He is facing a long list of
charges including embezzlement,
tax fraud.
Now we here at the news team
reached out to Conch Industries
for a statement and
what this might mean
for the refinery
in the near future.
Their only
comment was to say
that no decisions
have yet been made
about management
and operations.
Todd:
Sounds to me like we
could still be fucked.
Backwoods:
I hear that, brother.
Maybe Chelsea
will keep her job.
Todd:
Who fuckin' knows?
Oh, you think Miss Nakamura
is gonna stick around?
Best not to think
in these parts.
Mm-hmm.
Dewey:
One more game?
Taser:
Pony up. Come on.
Dewey:
That's my rent money.
Taser:
Dewey needs a roommate!
Steph:
Shut the fuck up, Dewey!