The Troop (2009) s01e08 Episode Script

Hayley and that's what
the universal translator is for.
Jake So when you say
'universal translator'?
It's exactly that.
Any creature that has
a language, this will take it
and turn it into English.
Oh, and you flip this switch
and your words are put
into the last language
on the translator.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Danker Aororroooaoroaooroo
[beeps]
Poor guy sounds sad.
That's just the Danker.
This is what
he's really saying:
[beeps]
Translator I love it cold.
I love it dark.
Happy, happy smile time.
I love it cold.
I love it dark
That's awesome!
Felix I know, huh.
Hayley Jake, you're going
to be dealing with
a lot of high tech gadgets.
The Troop doesn't play
around with its equipment.
Nothing but the best.
[running footsteps, growls]
[loud roar]
[squeal]
[clatter]
[clanks, squeals]
[clatter]
[growl and chatter]
[snap snap!]
Hayley Then again,
there's always room
for improvement, I guess.
Felix Here monster,
monster, monster!
Translator Bleahblahgrrg.
Jake Come here.
[zaps and growls]
[zap and fizzle]
Well, that's the last one.
Wow, that Ratodon has a temper.
That's why we keep
them in cages, Einstein.
Still early, plenty of time
to get into my costume
and go trick or treating.
Not so fast, Felix.
Hayley What'd you find?
Well, I found what's left
of the monstropental regulator,
which broke and caused the
reciprocating hydrogenator
to fail resulting in an overload
of the security system.
I also found a baseball,
a flying disc,
two overdue library books
and a bi-centennial quarter.
Heh!
Jake So 'monstropental
regulator',
what does that all mean?
Stockley It's broken.
The electrical grid is shot.
I jury-rigged it
so it will hold till I can
make the proper repairs.
Hayley Let's call
International HQ.
They'll get someone
out here to fix it.
Guten abend, Stockley.
What now?
Just wanted to say "Happy
Halloween", Dr. Brandenbury.
Gotta go, bye.
[beep]
I've made a few too many
requests to International
lately: new communicators,
new pulse blaster, team hats.
They said I could only have one.
Anyway, it's a simple
power core decoupling
and redistribution job.
I got this.
Great!
See you guys around then.
But it does mean that one of
us is going to have to say here,
keep an eye on things
while I go get the parts.
But Mr. Stockley,
it's Halloween.
I know.
I'm sorry.
But somebody has to stay.
So who's it going to be?
Hayley?
Ha, sure, I guess I could.
I've only been working on this
charity haunted house for like
two months, getting it ready,
you know, for the needy.
But if you guy think it's more
important that 15 year-olds
go around, playing dress up
for candy, that's just fine.
I'll tell the starving children,
'Better luck next time."
Jake Tough break.
Guess it's you buddy!
No way.
I am not staying
here on Halloween.
Tonight is my night and
I don't get many nights.
I started working on this
Gibbering Troolis costume
on January 1st.
Sowhaddya' think?
I busted my butt for weeks
designing and calibrating
to my exacting standards.
And just as the Troolis's call
summons the other monsters
to its lair, so will I summon
candy into my pumpkin bucket.
It's perfect!
You're not the only
one with a costume.
I was going to draw
a goatee on my face.
Then I go as Evil Jake.
Fine, I'll stay.
I'm grateful,
and so are the kids.
Such a sweetie.
She's right, you're so sweet.
I'll try to be fast, but
Halloween's bad for driving.
[Danker growls]
[beeps]
Translator Hey, don't worry.
You and I can have fun.
Ninety nine bottles
of slime on the wall
Ninety nine bottles of slime
Take one down,
pass it around
Ninety eight bottles
of slime on the wall
Ninety eight bottles of
[children's giggles]
[evil laugh]
Hayley Hey kids, welcome
to the haunted house.
Have fun, guys.
Don't get too scared.
Have fun.
Ticket.
Hey, thank you so much
for coming, guys.
Hey, tell your friends.
And don't forget "Boo!"
[laughs]
Hey, Phoebe.
How was it?
Did you have fun?
It was fine.
"Fine?"
Huh.
Didn't it scare you?
Was it suppose to be scary?
Well, yeah.
It's a haunted house.
Oh, right.
Well, I'm sure some people
thought it was scary.
Like, toddlers, or tiny babies.
Really, the
blood on the walls?
A bowl of eyeballs?
Only scary to toddlers?
And tiny babies.
Maybe you should advertise it as
a place that's scary for babies,
then people would bring
their babies here
and you could scare them.
[clears throat]
Just so that the last
eight weeks of my life
weren't completely wasted,
why don't we just
walk through together,
and you can show me where
it could be scarier, okay?
Okay.
[background howls]
[Grrrr!]
[evil laugh]
Yawn.
[car radio plays commercial]
Announcer we've got a mile
of used cars, each one
priced by a crazy chimpanzee.
[chimp squeals]
[scan of radio stations]
[haunting music]
Radio Host Tales of the
sinister and macabre,
all Halloween evening.
Tales to terrify your very soul.
Muah ha ha ha!
All right, radio,
challenge accepted.
Let's see who's scared of what.
[haunting music]
[crash of thunder]
[Danker sings]
Seven bottles
of slime on the wall
Seven bottles of slime
Take one down,
pass it around
Six bottles of slime
on the wall
Six bottles of slime
on the wall
Six bottles of slime
Take one down, pass it around
Okay, taking a
lunch break, Danker.
Translator Okay, Jake.
When you get back,
we can take it from the top.
[beeps and whir of microwave]
[fizzles]
No, no.
Noooo.
[rustles and footsteps running]
No!
[footsteps and growls]
Gone, gone, they're all gone.
[growl and snarls]
[monster grunts]
[slimy pop]
[footsteps running away]
[children's voices]
Haunting voice Yeah ha ha!
[evil laugh]
Arghhh!
Nice try, but I've seen it.
Seen it?
Really?
You have seen an ogre
charging at you, with horns!
Listen, if you want
to be scared check out
the haunted house at
Second Presbyterian Church.
They're handing out extra pants.
[watch-com rings]
What's up, Jake?
Is that Jake?
Tell him to come pick me up
so we can go trick or treating.
I'm booored!
Dude, chillax.
Phoebe I'll chillax, once
I get what's coming to me.
A sack full of candy
and a brother who does
what he says he'll do.
Jake Hayley, listen.
We have bigger problems
than my sister.
The monsters are loose.
What?
That's a disaster!
How did it happen?
I guess we'll never know.
I'll head out to round up
any monsters I can.
Stick Phoebe somewhere safe
and meet me on Caine Ave.
Got it, see you there in ten.
[beep]
Is he coming to get me?
No, but soon.
In the meantime,let me
show you to a room
where you can wait for him.
Ha, nice try Hayley.
I can see you've
put in some effort.
That weird, pale,
paper mache skin.
Hic-up!
[gasp]
This is Mrs. Vanderveen.
She's the executive director
of 'Foods for Little Dudes'.
That's who we're
raising money for.
Mrs. Vanderveen, this is Phoebe.
I was wondering, can you
keep an eye on her
for just a little bit
while I run out?
I'd love to.
Do you have a TV?
No, but we have something
twice as good
the radio!
Oh, goodie!
[haunting music on radio]
Radio Host and as they
turned, they saw the ghost
point to the very spot
they were standing on!
What kind of baby is
afraid of this stuff?
Radio Host And the Menlowe
brothers were never seen again.
Muha ha ha!
[distant howl]
[applause]
Felix Thank you, thank you.
One does like to be
appreciated for the effort.
Ha ha!
Your maps have a route
I've designed for candy
maximizing pleasure.
Sure, go ahead.
I'll catch up.
Happy hunting.
[distant growl]
Whoa!
Phenomenal costume, my friend.
You even got the slime right.
That's amazing.
[monster huffs]
[growl!]
That's not bad.
Remember, this is the call
that has the power to
attract other monsters.
But it's more like
Mmmwwwrgrrguurglll!
[monster growls]
Okay, let's start
a grid pattern
and clear each grid of monsters.
That's the only way to be sure.
So what did Stockley
say when you told him?
You didn't tell him?
Jake, he's our advisor.
We rely on him.
In times of crisis,
he is our rock.
Radio Host And he saw, stuck
in the side door of the car,
a stainless steel hook!
Muah ha ha ha!
[tap tap tap]
Aaaggghhh!
Aaaahhh!
[scream fades down]
[awkward chuckle]
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were
trying to kill me.
I have some mints.
[squishy sounding steps]
[slurpy licks]
Dude, okay.
Wet Willy from a Gibbering
Troolis is very fun but can
phew, can we give it
a rest now, please.
[watch-com rings]
Hey, Jake.
Felix, the monsters are out.
They escaped?
How'd that happen?
We'll never know.
But you need to come give
Hayley and me a hand
to round the monsters back up.
[squishy licks]
Dude, that is seriously
getting annoying.
Knock it off!
Jake What's going on?
Just some other guy in
a Giggering Troolis costume,
being a jerk!
Keep you eyes
peeled for monsters.
Right, I'll
Troolis costume?
It's not a guy, is it, Jake?
I don't think it is.
[growl!]
Aaarrghhh!
[growl]
Felix, take it easy.
Felix Help, Hayley,
it's tasting me!
It's tasting me!
Felix, calm down.
It's not going to eat you.
[growl]
No?
No, ha, I promise.
[growling stops]
Hey, you're right.
Hayley That wasn't
its hunting call,
that was its mating call.
His what?
I think it's
in love with you.
[sigh]
[growl]
You're not in any real danger.
Felix Oh, I don't think
I heard you right
because the yard-long tongue
poking into my ear hole.
Sick! Try to get a picture.
Felix No!
Lead it back to headquarters.
No, the haunted house
is closer.
Lead it there.
And the Troolis' song will
attract all the other monsters.
But it's gonna ruin
my haunted house.
I've been working on that
thing for eight weeks.
Word on the street is
that Second Presbyterian's
haunted house is
killing yours anyway.
Perfect.
Hayley's will be empty.
Hey!
We'll turn the house
into a trap and catch all
the monsters in one shot.
Do have any idea how hard
it is to make a haunted house?
Our fog machines
keep breaking down,
the sound effects CD
only lasts 20 minutes,
oh, and it's hard to get
good fake blood nowadays.
You done?
[sigh] Fine.
Okay, at the haunted house,
but you both gotta be there.
We'll be there, just make
sure you bring your boyfriend.
Felix Don't call him that.
Can we just try being friends
and see where it goes?
[mating growl]
Hayley People,
people, people!
You need to leave here at once.
There are monsters on their way.
[cheers and applause]
Halloween.
Ahh
[mating growl]
But seriously, guys, we're
all out of cider and cookies.
[crowd moans]
[squishy footsteps]
Felix Hide me.
Felix, that's not the plan.
Felix We have a plan?
Jake Since the Troolis
is attracted to you
Felix The costume you mean.
lure it into
the basement and, you know,
keep it interested.
Felix How's that?
Flirt.
[tick tock, tick tock]
And that's the recipe
for rye crackers.
[tick tock, tick tock]
And you make wheat crackers
in a different
but equally exciting way
Excuse me, I have to go.
To the bathroom, dearie?
No.
[watch-com beeps]
Jake No more complaining,
just shake your bootie.
Mr. Stockley over watch-com
I'm going to let the back-talk
slide because I asked
you to work on Halloween.
But you shouldn't be talking
to adults that way.
[sigh] Sorry, Mr. Stockley.
What's up?
Picked up the stuff
and I'm on my way.
Shouldn't be too much longer.
Great.
Any problems?
Nope, just being bored
because everything's
so quiet and under control.
Oh, listen.
I wanted to warn you.
Don't use the microwave.
It might crash the
electrical grid again.
Good to know, thanks.
Talk to you soon.
Felix How do you
like this, big boy?
[hunting call]
It's show time.
[growl]
[growl]
[hunting call]
[growl]
[snap]
[snarl]
[high pitched chirps]
[growl]
[growl]
Last one, dude.
Except for the Ratodon.
Ratodon.
[mating growl]
Hey, Jake.
I don't know how much
longer I can do this.
He's tearing my costume
into shreds and I think
I'm starting to get
a reputation.
You're doing great, Felix.
This is going much smoother
than I thought it would.
Felix That's easy
for you to say,
you're not the heartbreaker.
[pounding footsteps]
Hey, Felix.
Cool costume.
Phoebe!
What are you doing?
Talking to Felix.
[growl!]
Whoa! Your breath smells
like cheese and tires.
Jake, that's a Ratodon.
II know.
Now we have to contain it.
Do you have any candy?
I haven't gotten any all night.
[quiet growl]
You better keep it away
from the Troolis because
they hate each other.
Phoebe.
Come over here
slowly.
Then can I have some candy?
Sure.
Here, here's some
candy right here.
[snarl]
Felix, he said it was mine.
Just let him have it, Phoebe!
Jake Phoebe, no!
Felix, you better
get up here right now.
And take off that
costume before you come.
Not a problem.
[mournful growl]
It's not me, it's you.
You're a monster.
[loud mournful cry]
Argh!
[gasps]
Oh, come on!
It's my candy.
I called it.
Help me!
[growls]
[grunts]
Get it open!
[groan]
I'm trying, it's jammed.
[monsters growl]
My little sister's in there!
Hayley Okay, well
how can we help?
Take the hinges off.
Felix They're on the inside.
[monsters growl]
I got it.
[growls and scuffles]
[growls and scuffles]
[bang!]
Phoebe Finally, some candy.
Hayley, I was wrong.
This is the best
haunted house ever!
[monster growls]
[gasps]
Felix Phew!
That's the last of them.
Man, that was too close.
Oh, look at you
guys laying around.
Are you really that bored?
Jake Ha, hey Mr. Stockley,
did you get everything
you needed?
I sure did.
And I brought you back
a little holiday treat.
Candy?
Even better.
Allen wrenches.
Next best thing.
Thanks.
Hey, Mr. Stockley,
are you ever going to tell
International HQ about
the security failure?
[laughs]
Hayley, sometimes the less your
superiors know, the better.
I have no problem
with that, sir.
[Danker growls]
Translator Hey Stockley,
you missed all the fun!
There was this power outage.
Argh!
Shhh shhh shhh!
[Danker moans]