Tom Goes to the Mayor (2004) s01e08 Episode Script
Boy Meets Mayor
0
And now, the number one investigating
Married News Team
in Jefferton County.
Jan Skylar.
Wayne Skylar.
Unrelenting in uncovering
the story behind the story.
Number one in marriage,
facts, news
and blowing the lid off of the hottest stories.
And now to tonight's top story.
Sex! Money! Mayor!
Channel 5 News has just obtained a shocking video of the Mayor
which confirms
local bandleader Roy Teppert's
disturbing sexual allegations.
Devastating stuff.
In other news
the great Jefferton Hot Air
Balloon Challenge is this weekend.
Locals will gather to see
if anyone can beat the record
of 5,000 balloon laps
around Jefferton.
Pervert!
Sexy scandal,
more than we can handle!
Citizens of Jefferton,
I know what you're thinking. This video
Can we take a two on that?
Citizens of Jefferton,
I am sorry for
That's not working.
All right, get it together. One, two
Come on, Jefferton, it's me.
Pardon
- It's Tom Peters.
- Hello, Tom.
I'm here for the PR interview.
- Great. Come on in.
- What I did was
I came up
with a couple of quick fixes
regarding, RE., your scandal.
Tom, thank goodness!
Let me hear them.
OK, well, numero uno on my list,
starts with just looking at a different
Oh, Tom!
- You better get that leg up.
- My leg?
Oh, no.
Why? Why?
I don't know what you're talk--
I don't
Tom, what happened to your foot?
My foot? I'm fit as a fiddle.
- But you're all a mess down there.
- You mean my sandal?
It's just my stupid buckle.
You know, it just broke. Pain in the neck.
- No!
- Well
If we could just get back to the topic at hand.
You know, I think the real danger point
regarding the sandal is
Scan--scandal. Sorry.
Blew it again.
Sweet sandal.
It'll be OK.
We'll get you fixed up.
I promise.
- Emergency!
- No, no. It's just a buckle.
Come in, come in.
Let me take a look at it.
Tragedy. Oh, my.
Could be the buckle.
Yes, it is the buckle, yes.
Hold on a second.
Where's that beautiful music coming from?
That's me son.
Let me call him out here.
Wonderful. Bravo!
Bravo!
How terrific!
Shamus is deaf, I'm afraid.
Deaf as a doornail.
He sounds just like a winged angel, though.
Give me your sandal, Mr. Peter.
I'll fix it in a jiff.
What a wonderful shop.
I did some quick brainstorming,
and I came up with an idea
to take some of the heat off
of the scandal.
Go ahead, Tom, I'm all ears.
- Get it?
- What?
You know, the deaf boy.
And I said "ears".
OK.
OK. I fixed your sandal.
'Twas weak at the base.
So fragile,
like my little Shamus's heart.
Thank you, sir.
You've made them strong.
I can see that,
and I honor you.
I wish there was a way to repay you
for all your wonderful work.
- Let me get my checkbook.
- I can think of one way.
Do you know of the Hot Air Balloon
Challenge this weekend?
- Absolutely not.
- Actually, I've heard of that. It's the
The sandleman's speaking.
You see, I wasn't always
a master sandleman.
Years ago in Irishland
I captained many a balloon
and traveled the globe
spending days
and nights in a basket.
The smell of helium burning over me head.
I was the number one hot air balloonist in the world.
I had the pick of the litter, I did!
But something terrible happened,
too terrible for words.
But that was a long time ago.
Now, here's how you can help.
Take my son on the race
beat my old record
win the prize for Shamus
so we can send him
to the finest music school.
Talk about perfect.
I can see the headlines now.
"Mayor to help singing boy."
It's a PR man's cream dream!
Mr. Mayor,
not only are we uncomfortable
with a City Official competing in this contest
we are very uneasy
considering you have no experience piloting a hot air balloon.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if I may.
I guarantee Team Mayor will win this challenge
at which point I promise
to give all the prize money
to this little sweet boy Shamus
so he may become
a strong and normal boy.
Wellthat's certainly your prerogative
but when you get back,
we need to talk about that
sex tape.
Good luck, boys.
Tom, give me some heat!
Up, up, and away!
Godspeed!
Be strong, me son.
Bon voyage.
"Dear Joy, I don't know how this will find you.
"I've been up here for three days now.
"Luckily, I brought along some of your Powdered Diet Iced Tea mix.
"I just wish to heck
we'd brought along some water.
"Shamus is getting weaker every day.
"But the Mayor is optimistic that the mission's going well.
"I think he's losing his mind."
Burn, burn, burn.
Yeah.
"I'll write you when I can.
"Miss you and the boys.
Love, Tom."
Look, Tom!
- The great Jefferton steeple.
- Terrific.
It is just
too gorgeous up here.
Just smell that fresh air.
I wish I could share your enthusiasm.
I'm just very, very, very air sick.
The other aspect is that I'm terribly afraid of heights.
Tom, look at it, look at it.
Lap 100!
Pardon me for a sec.
The Married News Team brings you official coverage
of the Hot Air
Balloon Challenge.
Still married.
It's day 25, and Team Mayor has just made
its 300th lap Around Jefferton.
- A new
- A new poll
It says Wayne right over there.
Well, forgive and forget.
So, a new poll?
A new poll shows that the public's interest in the great Hot Air Balloon Challenge
completely overshadows
the Mayor's sexy scandal.
And don't forget that little Shamus is on board.
That poor,
devastatingly handsome deaf boy.
I'm just getting something.
Are you getting this?
It seems like we're receiving
a communique from captain Tom Peters.
It's the first communication we've received from the vessel in several weeks.
"Dear Joy,
I miss being with you.
"I miss your warmth
and your tender hugs and kisses.
"I have to admit, it took me a while to become physically attracted to you.
"but I got over my own insecurities
"and I'm glad you understand
my own shortcomingssexually.
"I wish I could give you the pleasure
you deserve. Be patient with me.
"Tom Peters."
Well, it seems like Team Mayor is well on its way
to beating the 5,000-lap record
around Jefferton
set by Ben Sandleman years ago.
Don't you ever cut me
They're going for me record.
We'll see about that.
No!
I told you,
I threw the waste out yesterday!
Come on, Tom,
you don't have to lie about it.
What does it matter?! We're all going mad!
You've taken us too far,
we're low on fuel, we have to turn back!
You wanted this mission to fail from the beginning, didn't you?
No!! It's just the storm,
it's tearing us apart, and I
and I think Shamus is dying!
Let me captain the ship.
Let me bring her down.
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
Pretty
Pretty clouds.
Mayor, are you with us?
Roy, is that you?
How could you turn that video in?
That was something special
between you and me.
Mayor, come look!
We're gonna make it!
Look over there!
Fantastic!
- We did it, Tom!
- Good work!
What was that?
Looks like the sandleman.
What?
- Sandleman!
- Who dis?
Why are you doing this?
I can't let you beat my record.
Even if it means hurting your only son?
'Twouldn't be the first time.
I'm sorry you fell
from my balloon.
'Twas the biggest race of me life
and there was too much weight on board.
I had to make a tough decision.
You see, I was forced to toss you off
and that is why you cannot hear.
Now the truth can be told.
So long!
We're too heavy, Tom.
We have to beat him to the 5,000-lap mark.
We've got
to throw Shamus overboard.
- What?
- Come on, he's dead weight, Tom.
He hasn't helped out at all.
We need to tie some sandbags to his legs to soften the fall.
Let me jump on record and say that I don't think this is such a g--
Tom, I'm relieving you of your post.
You're no longer fit to captain this ship.
Come on, Tom, after me.
One, two, three!
Full steam ahead!
Tom, give me your sandal.
Try this on for size.
What have you done?
- Tom, three cheers to you. We did it.
- Thank you.
No, thank you
for your great PR work, buddy.
Well, thank youagain.
You know what?
The cake-and-eat-it-too-element in this
is that the doctor says Shamus will be right as rain in a couple weeks.
Look at him, Tom.
Poor Shamus is gonna need a father now.
I hope you can step up
to that challenge.
I've been thinking about it,
and he does deserve a good home.
Of course, my stepsons are gonna have
to adjust to the deafness, but
Shamus?
- Bull's-eye!
- Yeah!
And now, the number one investigating
Married News Team
in Jefferton County.
Jan Skylar.
Wayne Skylar.
Unrelenting in uncovering
the story behind the story.
Number one in marriage,
facts, news
and blowing the lid off of the hottest stories.
And now to tonight's top story.
Sex! Money! Mayor!
Channel 5 News has just obtained a shocking video of the Mayor
which confirms
local bandleader Roy Teppert's
disturbing sexual allegations.
Devastating stuff.
In other news
the great Jefferton Hot Air
Balloon Challenge is this weekend.
Locals will gather to see
if anyone can beat the record
of 5,000 balloon laps
around Jefferton.
Pervert!
Sexy scandal,
more than we can handle!
Citizens of Jefferton,
I know what you're thinking. This video
Can we take a two on that?
Citizens of Jefferton,
I am sorry for
That's not working.
All right, get it together. One, two
Come on, Jefferton, it's me.
Pardon
- It's Tom Peters.
- Hello, Tom.
I'm here for the PR interview.
- Great. Come on in.
- What I did was
I came up
with a couple of quick fixes
regarding, RE., your scandal.
Tom, thank goodness!
Let me hear them.
OK, well, numero uno on my list,
starts with just looking at a different
Oh, Tom!
- You better get that leg up.
- My leg?
Oh, no.
Why? Why?
I don't know what you're talk--
I don't
Tom, what happened to your foot?
My foot? I'm fit as a fiddle.
- But you're all a mess down there.
- You mean my sandal?
It's just my stupid buckle.
You know, it just broke. Pain in the neck.
- No!
- Well
If we could just get back to the topic at hand.
You know, I think the real danger point
regarding the sandal is
Scan--scandal. Sorry.
Blew it again.
Sweet sandal.
It'll be OK.
We'll get you fixed up.
I promise.
- Emergency!
- No, no. It's just a buckle.
Come in, come in.
Let me take a look at it.
Tragedy. Oh, my.
Could be the buckle.
Yes, it is the buckle, yes.
Hold on a second.
Where's that beautiful music coming from?
That's me son.
Let me call him out here.
Wonderful. Bravo!
Bravo!
How terrific!
Shamus is deaf, I'm afraid.
Deaf as a doornail.
He sounds just like a winged angel, though.
Give me your sandal, Mr. Peter.
I'll fix it in a jiff.
What a wonderful shop.
I did some quick brainstorming,
and I came up with an idea
to take some of the heat off
of the scandal.
Go ahead, Tom, I'm all ears.
- Get it?
- What?
You know, the deaf boy.
And I said "ears".
OK.
OK. I fixed your sandal.
'Twas weak at the base.
So fragile,
like my little Shamus's heart.
Thank you, sir.
You've made them strong.
I can see that,
and I honor you.
I wish there was a way to repay you
for all your wonderful work.
- Let me get my checkbook.
- I can think of one way.
Do you know of the Hot Air Balloon
Challenge this weekend?
- Absolutely not.
- Actually, I've heard of that. It's the
The sandleman's speaking.
You see, I wasn't always
a master sandleman.
Years ago in Irishland
I captained many a balloon
and traveled the globe
spending days
and nights in a basket.
The smell of helium burning over me head.
I was the number one hot air balloonist in the world.
I had the pick of the litter, I did!
But something terrible happened,
too terrible for words.
But that was a long time ago.
Now, here's how you can help.
Take my son on the race
beat my old record
win the prize for Shamus
so we can send him
to the finest music school.
Talk about perfect.
I can see the headlines now.
"Mayor to help singing boy."
It's a PR man's cream dream!
Mr. Mayor,
not only are we uncomfortable
with a City Official competing in this contest
we are very uneasy
considering you have no experience piloting a hot air balloon.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if I may.
I guarantee Team Mayor will win this challenge
at which point I promise
to give all the prize money
to this little sweet boy Shamus
so he may become
a strong and normal boy.
Wellthat's certainly your prerogative
but when you get back,
we need to talk about that
sex tape.
Good luck, boys.
Tom, give me some heat!
Up, up, and away!
Godspeed!
Be strong, me son.
Bon voyage.
"Dear Joy, I don't know how this will find you.
"I've been up here for three days now.
"Luckily, I brought along some of your Powdered Diet Iced Tea mix.
"I just wish to heck
we'd brought along some water.
"Shamus is getting weaker every day.
"But the Mayor is optimistic that the mission's going well.
"I think he's losing his mind."
Burn, burn, burn.
Yeah.
"I'll write you when I can.
"Miss you and the boys.
Love, Tom."
Look, Tom!
- The great Jefferton steeple.
- Terrific.
It is just
too gorgeous up here.
Just smell that fresh air.
I wish I could share your enthusiasm.
I'm just very, very, very air sick.
The other aspect is that I'm terribly afraid of heights.
Tom, look at it, look at it.
Lap 100!
Pardon me for a sec.
The Married News Team brings you official coverage
of the Hot Air
Balloon Challenge.
Still married.
It's day 25, and Team Mayor has just made
its 300th lap Around Jefferton.
- A new
- A new poll
It says Wayne right over there.
Well, forgive and forget.
So, a new poll?
A new poll shows that the public's interest in the great Hot Air Balloon Challenge
completely overshadows
the Mayor's sexy scandal.
And don't forget that little Shamus is on board.
That poor,
devastatingly handsome deaf boy.
I'm just getting something.
Are you getting this?
It seems like we're receiving
a communique from captain Tom Peters.
It's the first communication we've received from the vessel in several weeks.
"Dear Joy,
I miss being with you.
"I miss your warmth
and your tender hugs and kisses.
"I have to admit, it took me a while to become physically attracted to you.
"but I got over my own insecurities
"and I'm glad you understand
my own shortcomingssexually.
"I wish I could give you the pleasure
you deserve. Be patient with me.
"Tom Peters."
Well, it seems like Team Mayor is well on its way
to beating the 5,000-lap record
around Jefferton
set by Ben Sandleman years ago.
Don't you ever cut me
They're going for me record.
We'll see about that.
No!
I told you,
I threw the waste out yesterday!
Come on, Tom,
you don't have to lie about it.
What does it matter?! We're all going mad!
You've taken us too far,
we're low on fuel, we have to turn back!
You wanted this mission to fail from the beginning, didn't you?
No!! It's just the storm,
it's tearing us apart, and I
and I think Shamus is dying!
Let me captain the ship.
Let me bring her down.
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
Pretty
Pretty clouds.
Mayor, are you with us?
Roy, is that you?
How could you turn that video in?
That was something special
between you and me.
Mayor, come look!
We're gonna make it!
Look over there!
Fantastic!
- We did it, Tom!
- Good work!
What was that?
Looks like the sandleman.
What?
- Sandleman!
- Who dis?
Why are you doing this?
I can't let you beat my record.
Even if it means hurting your only son?
'Twouldn't be the first time.
I'm sorry you fell
from my balloon.
'Twas the biggest race of me life
and there was too much weight on board.
I had to make a tough decision.
You see, I was forced to toss you off
and that is why you cannot hear.
Now the truth can be told.
So long!
We're too heavy, Tom.
We have to beat him to the 5,000-lap mark.
We've got
to throw Shamus overboard.
- What?
- Come on, he's dead weight, Tom.
He hasn't helped out at all.
We need to tie some sandbags to his legs to soften the fall.
Let me jump on record and say that I don't think this is such a g--
Tom, I'm relieving you of your post.
You're no longer fit to captain this ship.
Come on, Tom, after me.
One, two, three!
Full steam ahead!
Tom, give me your sandal.
Try this on for size.
What have you done?
- Tom, three cheers to you. We did it.
- Thank you.
No, thank you
for your great PR work, buddy.
Well, thank youagain.
You know what?
The cake-and-eat-it-too-element in this
is that the doctor says Shamus will be right as rain in a couple weeks.
Look at him, Tom.
Poor Shamus is gonna need a father now.
I hope you can step up
to that challenge.
I've been thinking about it,
and he does deserve a good home.
Of course, my stepsons are gonna have
to adjust to the deafness, but
Shamus?
- Bull's-eye!
- Yeah!