Being Mary Jane (2013) s01e09 Episode Script

1
John had every right to cheat.
It's so hard.
I was never home.
Did you know that me and your husband
have been sleeping together?
I love you, but I can't
be in this relationship.
So that's it, we're done?
Is that David?
I'm seeing someone.
This party ain't over until
we get some dirt on you.
What the hell is that?
David's sperm.
Oh!
Did you steal my sperm?
Did you steal my sperm?
Yeah, it's not a tough question.
Well, um
It's in the baking soda.
Look, there is
no excuse, you know?
No, there
there needs to be
a pretty damn good
excuse for this.
Look, who told you?
You pregnant?
No, well, who told you?
Are you pregnant?
No.
No.
Good.
Prove it.
Please.
Yeah, it's funny to you?
Let's go.
Wait what are you
- you're gonna make me pee on it?
- Well, we've done freakier things.
Okay, look, I am
not taking the test.
This is not funny.
Yeah, actually it is funny.
All right, look, let me
tell you something.
I'm not leaving here
until you take this test
and we figure it out.
Okay, well, you should
kick off your shoes
and stay a while.
I'm gonna do what I was doing
before you barged into my life,
which is pouring a glass of wine.
Would you like one?
No, no.
I won't wanna glass of wine.
I wanna know about this.
I'ma pour you one
'cause you seem like
you could use one.
Thanks for listening to
Classical Music Atlanta.
I mean, look, I always
knew you were crazy.
But I thought it was
that good crazy
that they talk about.
And now you're not so sure.
No, I'm not.
Well, don't get your
boxer briefs in a bunch,
'cause even if I did
turkey baste myself,
I can't get pregnant.
I froze it wrong.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
And this is supposed
to make me feel better?
I'm trying to waylay your fears.
Yeah, but it doesn't
explain to me
why you were crazy enough to
do it in the first place.
Stop calling me crazy.
Well, you are.
No, no-no-no.
Crazy is what men say when
they want women to shut up.
And it's not working.
Clearly.
But, I mean, come on,
of all the crazy things
you've done, this
Wait-wait-wait, no, no-no,
what crazy things?
Uh, like when you
put me out on I-75?
No, I called your bluff
that's what I did.
And if I recall,
we had like the best
makeup sex ever afterwards.
Oh, wait, no, no.
That's when I flew home early
and left you in Aspen.
What are you doing?
You know what I'm doing?
I'm being crazy.
I'm being the loveable,
crazy bitch
that you always loved.
This seems to be the easiest way
to get you to see me.
Man, I didn't know what
to do with you then,
and I don't know what
to do with you now.
Well, you know what?
I will take your little test.
Wait, hold on, hold on.
Sit.
I believe you.
I'm actually flattered.
What?
No, there you go, there you go.
Always, if I
go left, you go right.
And there you go,
always second guessing
the things I say to you.
Why don't you ever believe
what I say to you?
Don't you have
someone to go home to?
Yes.
Well, it's been real.
Don't forget this.
Yeah, you might wanna
hold onto that
for your next heist.
And you know what, Mary Jane?
If you wanted a baby,
all you had to do was ask.
Mary Jane, what
the hell are you doing?
I finally figured it out.
Crazy lady!
What?
There has never been
anybody but you.
Okay, don't just stand there.
Say something that makes me
feel like less of a dumb-ass.
Say what?
Come on, don't do that.
Don't do what?
Look at you like a crazy person
chasing me through the streets?
Stop saying that.
Okay, you know what?
You're right, I am crazy.
Because I'm the
only one bold enough
to say what we are both feeling.
I am in love with you,
and I wanna just
stop playing all the games
and let's just move on
with our lives, together.
We're too old for this, David.
Why now?
Why, 'cause I got somebody?
Why can't you just hear me?
Oh, I hear you
I just don't believe you.
After everything
we've been through?
You got a real selective
memory, you know that?
I know that I've been punished
and tested by you enough.
And yet, and still, I believe
there's a chance for us.
I punished you?
Yes.
Yes.
I punished you.
You dumped me
because you thought
I wasn't gonna make it.
No, I broke up with you
because you kept
stringing me along.
Oh, and then when the
website popped off
and started attracting
investors, where were you?
No-no, no-no,
don't do that.
Don't do what
don't do what?
No-no, unh-unh, no, no.
It's the truth, isn't it?
No, the truth is,
you invited me to dinner
and said, "Oh, if it wasn't
for you, Mary Jane"
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're
right you know what?
I did invite you
to dinner you know why?
Because I wanted to show you
what you were letting go.
Well, I'm trying to
be honest with you
and you're trying to hurt me.
Well, we're
airing it out, right?
Let's put it on the table.
When you were fired,
I was there for you.
When you were down,
I didn't bounce.
I was fired because
I was too busy chasing
after your ass!
Well, you didn't
chase hard enough.
And you still left
didn't you?
Didn't you?
What was I supposed to do?
You were supposed to love me.
Look at you,
all super-early, Miss Thang.
Couldn't sleep.
Blogs are blowing up
over your Terrence
Mitchell commentary.
Yeah?
High five!
At least something's
going right in my life.
Uh-oh, what?
David found out
I stole his sperm.
What?
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Why you looking at me like that?
It was just me, you, Lisa
Oh, no-no, wait-wait, wait
a minute, wait a minute.
I know blowing up Mark's
little secret did not do much
for my credibility, but I swear,
I'm completely innocent in this.
I only know David through you.
I don't even talk to him.
Tamiko?
No, you guys just got
reacquainted.
Besides, she's worried
they're gonna tell everybody
that she bought her own
wedding ring, remember?
You don't think it was
the stripper, do you?
You know who told him.
Why don't you just say it.
I can't deal with
that kind of betrayal.
Well, girl, when you can,
you know where to find her.
It's beautiful
I love it.
What did you get out of it?
Excuse me.
What the hell
is going on with you?
Oh, no, what's
going on with you?
I mean, is your
life so miserable,
you have to make sure
everyone else's is?
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
hold on.
Need I remind you
that this song and dance
is still my job?
I know you told David
about the sperm.
Oh, girl, please,
you've gotta be
You know, honestly,
I always loved
when you would tell
everybody's business.
I just
I just never thought
that one day you would
tell mine.
Oh, hell, you've watched
too many melodramas.
No, I thought you were my
friend, Nichelle.
I haven't seen David
since the night you called
me to come pick you up
when you went through his phone.
You know, this friendship
is pretty much over.
I have no room for
toxic people in my life.
How do you turn
this around on me?
'Cause I get that you're shook,
but I don't get the respect
of you asking if I told him?
But it's my fault for even
thinking I would get that,
'cause, hell, I can't even
get you to come to my house
after eight years of
various invitations.
Because what I am to you
is a non-threatening,
big, jolly girl
you call when you wanna
have a good time
and make you feel
better about yourself.
That man had you stuck
on stupid then,
and he's got you twisted now.
Great speech,
bang-up job.
I still know you did it.
Go to hell, Nichelle.
So, yeah,
we're no longer friends,
and I'm no longer a client.
You didn't do anything
for my career, anyway.
She said, what?
Oh, yeah, she tried
to flip it on me.
You know, all that talk about,
"Oh, I'm a modern-day
Geisha."
Uh, you're a modern-day ho.
Everybody know you're
screwing the mayor.
I should break that story
and see how her big ass
likes that.
You know, I'm glad he knows.
I have paid for my sin
and humiliation and now
it's over.
Where's the tequila?
Where it always been.
Thought you didn't
like the hard stuff.
Usually I don't.
This moment calls
for a drink.
Oh. Okay.
Oh, oh.
You too.
Do another.
Unh-unh.
Okay, I don't ever need
an excuse to drink but
where's this going?
Please?
Okay.
All right, now that we are
officially a cliché,
wanna tell me what's going on?
It was me.
The one that told David.
It slipped out.
I was trying to tell him
to leave him alone,
to stop torturing you,
stop playing with
your life and
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up.
Where the hell do you
think you're going?
I figured we were done.
You just blew up my life
and you think you're gonna bail?
I don't know what else to do!
Well, you're not gonna yell at
me, I'll tell you that much.
Why didn't you just tell me
the minute it slipped out?
I thought about telling you.
I was scared I was gonna lose
the only friend I got.
What?
What?
I totally cursed out Nichelle.
Oh, God!
It's 4-7-O-4.
Which is it, heifer?
4-7-O-4.
"O" is a letter in the alphabet.
4-7-0-4.
It's voice mail.
Shh, shh!
- Hey, it's Nichelle, sorry I missed you.
- She doesn't pick up blocked numbers.
Leave a message
at the beep, thanks.
Hey, Nichelle, it's Mary Jane.
April Fool's Day, ha, I got you.
I'm just joking.
Seriously, Nichelle,
I am on my period.
And I'm trippin', and it's bad
and I really hope
I'm not pre-menopausal.
Nichelle,
it's me, um MJ.
I'm back, um
Girl, I know you
would never betray me.
I know that, I do,
and I'm so sorry.
I I, you know, like
you said,
that man got me
messed up in the head.
And you know how
that go, you know?
But you, girl, you bounce back.
You lost that weight
and now he's
with the super girl.
He was too short for you,
anyway.
You need someone taller.
And I'm sorry I never
came to your house.
It's just
I like my house.
I like it a lot.
You have a nice house.
I have a nice house.
But it's nothing
against you or your house.
I'm sure your house is great.
Um, but we shouldn't throw away,
you know, our friendship,
everything we meant to each
other all these years,
you know, for some
man's sperm, you know?
You know, no way I'd do that.
It's just sperm, so
call me and we'll hang.
Bye.
I'm pretty sure we're never
gonna speak again.
Unh-unh.
Ha, he's home.
His car's in the driveway.
So are a lot of others.
Maybe it's not a good time.
Oh, no, unh-unh,
don't get me all pumped-up
just to try to pull me back.
Hit me.
You're right, my bad.
Go get your man.
Okay. Ha!
Hi.
Hey, um is David here?
'Course, uh
did David invite you?
To what?
We're having a dinner party.
Oh, no.
Can you just get him
for me, please?
Is everything okay?
Great.
Just need David.
This isn't gonna
end well for you.
I'll take my chances.
Hmm.
Great article on Garcel,
by the way.
Thanks.
Come in.
Hey.
No.
Now is not a good time.
What if I said I was dying?
You're not.
You don't know that.
Listen, I'll be
right there, okay?
Can you check the steaks for me?
I just put 'em on the grill.
He likes his medium rare.
You come to my house?
Wait, no,
no-no, no-no-no.
This was supposed
to be my house,
but you gave it
to a white woman.
I gotta remind you,
my mother's white.
Damn it, yeah
I'm drunk.
I'm sorry, 'cause that
was a very insensitive remark
in our post-racial
America.
Oh, you came to crack jokes?
No.
But are those
watercress sandwiches?
It's it's it's kind
of a cliché, David.
All right, crazy lady,
what do you want?
Look, I know that every guy
wants a ride-or-die
chick, right?
They do.
I mean, it's like in almost
every other rap song.
Ride-or-die,
ride-or-die
look, that's me.
And no man wants his woman
to leave him when he's low.
But I'm a
ride-or-die chick.
Mary Jane, what are
you talking about?
Okay, okay, remember
when we broke up?
You were mad.
And then we started
hanging out again.
Because I started making money.
You were punishing me, right?
Were we in the same
relationship?
Look, look, okay.
Just at least admit it.
Just admit that
you were punishing me,
like I'm admitting right
now that I was wrong
in letting my girls believe
that you were wasting my time.
Let's just get over it
so we can get on with it.
Get on with what?
Mary Jane, I'm with someone.
That toothpick Barbie
is a placeholder, okay?
Just like the guy I was with
was a placeholder for you.
Oh, so you were
sleeping with him?
Yes.
And now you wanna
get back together
although you're still
telling me lies?
I was there for you, David.
I'm your ride-or-die.
Oh, yeah, you're back
to your theme now.
Look, look, I I
I I I took you in
and I shared my house
with you and
so you could
you could pour yourself
into launching your website.
I fed you, I did your laundry.
We exchanged ideas.
I never asked you
to do any of that.
You didn't tell me
to stop, either.
Why would I stop
a woman from loving me?
Oh.
You know what?
What do I owe you?
How much do I owe you?
I don't want your money.
No, you're gonna take it,
'cause I used you, right?
I mean, that what you had
your friends believing
I used you.
You know what, I'm gonna share
something with you you don't know.
I've always had money.
I'm not new to this.
What you saw
was a man making moves
so that he wouldn't have to
live off of his parents' money.
And whether or not those moves were
successful, I was gonna be good.
The problem is, you made
your move too soon,
and now you regret it.
That's it.
Okay, um
I'm just gonna ask you
one more question,
and I'll go.
Would you have married
me if I'd waited?
You already know
the answer to that.
Why can't you just say it?
'Cause I don't wanna
live in the past.
You know what?
It's no wonder that you
are with a white woman
because they are the only ones
who would deal with
your arrogant ass.
So, you know what?
Have your your
your great little life,
and and your watercress
sandwiches and
your light, bright
day-glow babies.
Oh!
I'm a ride-or-die
chick.
I blew it.
How could he deny
"I only wanna
hold your hand again"?
You didn't say it?
I didn't say it.
Why didn't you say it?
That was a good line.
I made up a good line.
I didn't say it, okay?
Leo, can we just go, please?
Please?
I actually have to wait for my car.
I ordered it while
I was sitting in here.
Why?
I got called into work.
Unexpected delivery
twins.
You're joking
you're drunk.
I've been pretending
for a while.
I hate to
coming to grips
that I am a deceitful person.
I'm sorry.
I already called Kara,
and Leo has her address.
I don't wanna go to Kara's.
You're going to
Kara's, right, Leo?
She's going to Kara's.
I'll come by
as soon as I get off.
And again, Mary Jane,
I'm really sorry.
I was hoping my wrong
could somehow become
It's okay.
It's okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Oh.
Watch your step, ma'am.
Leo, can you just
take me home, please?
I'm sorry, Mary Jane,
I have my orders.
Hey.
Where to, ladies?
Closest liquor store.
Looks like you stopped
there a few times already.
We're just gonna go back
to her house, Leo, okay?
You got it.
What happened, hmm?
You can skip the part where
you professed your love
and it didn't go well
Lisa already updated me.
I really can't tell
you the whole story
without losing
your respect so
I'm gonna pass.
Sweetie, who has not
crawled back to their man
and begged them
to take them back?
You do not have to be
embarrassed about that.
Yeah, except I
I had an affair
and destroyed a family
along the way.
On second thought,
we'll hit that
liquor store first.
You got it.
Pour me another.
You know what?
Not so sure you
deserve another one.
I think you should have to sit
with what you've done.
I pray, like, 50 times a day
that they get back together.
Um, um-hmm.
Like I'm hoping that my affair
is the thing that really
just brings them back
together in a real way.
You know what?
I'm gonna stop
drinking right now
because every time
I look at you,
all I can see is John's wench,
and I just wanna haul off
and punch you in your face.
But you always said that
John deserved to cheat.
Yeah, I can say that,
because that's how I cope,
but your ratchet ass
went back to him
after you found
out he was married.
Please don't judge me.
Yeah, it's late for that.
And you went back and
told the wife, really?
See, I was doing that in solidarity.
Oh!
I probably didn't
think it through.
And then you
slipped on his penga.
Um-hmm.
You need to apologize to her.
What?
That's what I wanted.
Weird, I know.
But I just wanted that bitch
to say, "Sorry" to me.
To acknowledge me, to see me,
and to accept my existence,
and that she participated
in hurting me,
even if I deserved
to be cheated on.
I'd apologize.
I just don't know
where they live.
You don't know where they live?
I don't know where they live.
Kara, I'm so sorry.
Given everything that I
witnessed you go through,
I really didn't
want you to know.
Did he ever open
any mail at your house?
Got it!
What?
Ha! Hallelujah!
Damn, that's a beautiful house.
Yup, and now, because of you,
she's gonna have to sell it.
You don't know that.
His car's in the driveway, so
my prayers have been answered.
Oh, right.
I'm not a homewrecker.
Leo, let's go.
Sure thing.
Leo, shh
Somebody's come out.
It's him.
Yeah.
Is that him?
Come on, Daddy.
You are definitely
a frickin' homewrecker.
They could be going to pizza.
Oh, yeah, 'cause I pack a suitcase for
my kids every time we go for pizza.
Really?
It was a stretch.
That's your guilty conscience
whispering in your ear.
That's what that is.
She's standing there
like the Statue of Liberty
in a sweater set.
Are you kidding me?
She's freakin' lonely.
She is accessorized beautifully.
Oh, my God.
And she looks brave.
The car's coming.
Leo.
Yeah.
Tell us when he's passed.
He's just about passed.
Gone?
Gone.
Oh.
Oh, my oh, you, uh
you got a visitor.
Yep, you got a visitor
hello, here she comes.
Don't go! Don't
Don't move this car, Leo.
Drive off, Leo!
You gotta talk to her.
I don't have to do anything.
Yes, you wanted to
Oh, no, this isn't
gonna end well.
Oh, she looks pissed,
she looks pissed.
This is your opportunity.
I'm rolling down
the window right now.
I'm opening the window.
It's a bad move.
It's a bad move don't,
don't, don't, don't!
Avery, I'm sorry the window
won't go down any more.
It just I'm sorry.
What are you doing now,
crazy woman, hmm?
Stalking me?
You really need to
stop calling me that.
Can we come in, please?
You know, I'm actually
glad that you stopped by.
I mean, the TV's
been on the blink
and now that Andre's no
longer in the house to fix it,
I've been in need of
some entertainment.
So, go, go.
Oh, um, well,
first and foremost
Avery, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to you
and your children.
I'm sorry for
adding a hardship
to a relationship
that was already
challenging enough.
Secondly, Avery,
please take him back.
He does love you.
Um, this how it goes, hmm?
You you get to
come into my house
and drink my water
and relieve your guilt
and then tell me how
to live my life?
Every move we didn't
make was because of you.
He thought about
your well-being
every step of the way.
Look, Avery, I think
my friend is despicable.
I mean, I can barely
look at her right now.
She saw me, held me as I cried,
snot running down my face
every morning
before I entered
my office constantly
because my heart was so broken.
And the thought that she
participated
in doing this to
another woman sickens me.
Mmm, okay
Sickens me.
It does, but when I
got honest with myself,
I realized that I wasn't just
crying for his betrayal.
I was crying for
my betrayal of him,
because I checked out
on my marriage
and I didn't have the gift of
the other woman's insight.
She is the last person
I can take advice from
when it comes to my husband.
Now, see, that's too bad,
because actually,
she should be the first,
because apparently, she was
doing something you weren't.
He may wear suits now,
but he's still
just a soldier
coming home from war,
hoping that somebody
is happy to see him,
greet him at the door,
ask him how his day was.
It's time for you to go.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, all right, well, um
Oh, he genuinely supports
your decision to
go back to work.
And, um and if you ever
give him a blow job again,
get on your knees, because
it's easier on your neck
if you're on
the floor and he's
Okay, go!
Okay, look, look, look, look.
I don't know if you guys are
gonna make it I don't.
But I know that if you don't
try your hardest, Avery,
you'll regret it.
I don't believe you.
Well, she needed to know.
And I sicken you?
Sorry, Kara.
On behalf of all
the wives done wrong,
apology accepted.
Come here.
Feel better?
No.
I'm still a homewrecker.
The verdict is still out.
Where to, ladies?
Leo, back to my house.
Sure thing.
Don't do anything stupid.
Remember, you're the go-to
girl of the network now.
Too late.
Love you.
I love you, too.
It'll be all right.
Hey, you, uh you ever
read this book,
"Ask And It Is Given"?
Say that again?
It's a great book
by Esther Hicks.
It says that the universe
already knows
our heart's desires,
and if we just keep our radios
dialed to gratefulness,
all of what we want
will be ours.
So that's our work
just staying grateful,
even with faced with
the storm of life.
A friend of mine has that book.
Borrow it.
It changed my life.
I mean, it helped me realize
everything that has
happened in my life,
I called it into existence
so that I could reach my goals.
You should just take
comfort in knowing
that everything
you're going through
is preparing you for
what you asked for.
Take me to David's.
You didn't hear
a word I said, huh?
No, can you take me
to him right now?
I'm sorry, Mary Jane, you
gonna have to take yourself.
I've got three cleared addresses
I can drop you off at.
It's one of them my home?
Yeah.
We'll go to your home.
Take me home, please.
He said all I had to do was ask.
That was before you went out
and stole the sperm, dummy.
I am tired of all
the shenanigans
one has to play just to trap a
man to get what I really want.
But you wanna raise the baby
with the man you love.
Don't forget that important
detail.
I am running out of time,
so please inseminate me.
No.
Even if I was crazy enough
to lose my license,
it won't work.
You said it yourself.
You froze it wrong.
Paul Junior is a miracle baby.
Maybe it runs in my family.
PJ is a miracle because your
mother suffers from lupus,
not because your father's
sperm was stolen
and frozen wrong.
Why do you still have this?
If you hadn't have told him,
I still would've had
a chance with him.
So it's all my fault.
Yes.
Okay, I'll do it.
Thank you.
You wanna know why?
Because it won't work,
and it certainly won't
solve all your problems.
You've lost him.
He's with someone else.
He doesn't want you.
Lay down.
Put your legs up.
If I'm gonna do this,
I need you to put your legs up.
If you wanted a baby,
all you had to do is ask.
If you wanted a baby,
all you had to do is ask.
You're right.
This isn't how I want a baby.
I know it's hard letting go.
It's not easy letting
go of your dreams.
Everyone wants to know
how to move on from a tough
time in their life.
The point is, the people I see,
the people tend to act out
moving on,
when, in fact, the only
way to truly do it,
to really do it, is to
start with forgiveness.
Whether you're learning to
forgive yourself
for years of repeated
disappointment,
or whether you're searching
to forgive the ones you love
for repeatedly
disappointing you,
there will come a time
when you'll be asked
to utter the words,
"I forgive you."
In that moment,
you have a choice.
You can suffer defeats
and remain a failure.
Or you can rise from the
ashes and move forward.
I say, choose forgiveness.
I'd like to thank
Rabbi Goldstein
for his words of wisdom.
I'm going to add to his truth
from my friend
Winston Churchill.
"Success is not final."
What is it?
Really?
"Failure is not fatal."
Here.
Good-bye, David.
And I really do hope that
you have a great life.
"It is the courage to
continue that counts."
I'm Mary Jane Paul.
Thank you for listening.