D-Frag! (2014) s01e09 Episode Script

'Round here, they call me the
Kazama Gang's dump truck,
Yokoshima.
I come within inches of the
ceiling even on all fours,
earning me the misleading nom de
plume, Long Mountain Nagayama.
The Kazama Gang's
chief of operations,
Ataru Kawahara, esquire.
Student Body Vice Pres.
Not to rain on your parade,
but I already know you guys.
Permit me to answer in kind!
I am the illustrious Game
Creation Club (Provisional)'s
very own--wait for it--
Hachi Siou!
So your introductory
spiel was for his benefit?
[KAZAMA] Aw, come on, what the
hell do you think you're doin?
Ah! Apologies, friend!
I'm rather enamored
of confined spaces,
particularly when
being scrutinized.
[ATARU laughs]
Y'know, Kenji,
I'm kinda feelin'
this new buddy of yours.
He's not my buddy!
But I thought we I
[KAZAMA] If you
thought anything other than
"I am a pain in the
ass," try again.
Not to pry, but,
I cannot help but note the
absence of your attaché case.
Huh?
Yeah, I left it
in the classroom.
Completely unacceptable!
Keeping such precious
cargo to yourself!
Roka's gym bag deserves
to be put on a pedestal!
How the hell did you know
I'm keeping it
in my briefcase?
[SIOU]
She told me, silly.
[KAZAMA]
Of course she did.
Ugh.
Just don't read too
much into it, alright?
Very well.
So long as you agree
to show it every respect,
I am content.
If you gentlemen
will excuse me,
I've just remembered
something urgent.
Oh yeah,
that was natural!
We all know you're
going for the bag, dude!
[SIOU chuckles]
Dear Kazama!
You think me
impervious to honor?
I lost to you fair and square,
ergo the bag
doesn't belong to me.
Wait, are you serious?
Quite so.
Then again, nothing forbids
me from plunging my head
into your briefcase to
take a generous whiff.
Oh yes it does!
I'm forbidding you,
so leave it alone!
Uh, just a moment, sir.
I allowed you to break
bread with us, but this is
well.
Let's just say I'm not the
sort of man to sit idly by.
Oh no.
If anyone gets to stick
their schnozzola
in Kazama's briefcase, fair play
clearly dictates that first dibs
go to his bestie!
[KAZAMA]
You, too?!
No worries, bro.
Think about it.
A guy trying to cram
his head in there'd be like
stuffing a watermelon
into a duck.
Huh.
You got a point there.
Hear that, ya' jackasses?
Too close for comfort!
That's no fun, right?
You're only making it
sound all the more tantalizing.
[KAZAMA]
What is wrong with you?
Now, if you'll excuse me.
I've got a date with that bag!
[ATARU] Consider your precious
briefcase well-protected!
[KAZAMA]
This is gonna be bad.
[ATARU]
Wait for me!
I'm just sayin', you know?
[SIOU]
Make way!
Sorry! No time to explain;
just keep my briefcase
out of their hands!
Uh, what?
[KAZAMA] This is not a drill!
I'm depending on you!
You're depending on me?
Uh, okay, I'll do what I can!
Really?
I'm afraid you've
chosen the wrong ally!
[ATARU] As if Funabori has
what it takes to thwart us!
Oh, so you're
teammates now, is that it?
[SIOU] T'was my idea!
I should go first!
--It's only right!
--Hey! That's not how it works!
Funabori! Protect it
with your life, please!
All right!
Is this what you mean?
[KAZAMA] I think you made it
easier for them to reach.
[KAZAMA] Back off,
ya' dill weeds!
[SIOU]
Give it to me at once!
[KAZAMA]
I'm serious, let go of it!
[KAZAMA] Come on, guys!
It's a briefcase!
You can buy your own!
Oh, crap!
Funabori's about to break!
Leave the poor girl
alone already!
Run, Funabori!
Just chuck the stupid thing
out the damn window!
Huh?
But, you
It's a nice case!
You should be more respectful
of your school supplies!
[KAZAMA] Did--
Did she just get on to me?
Ugh! Fine! Whatever!
Just hide it or something, then!
I I wouldn't know
the first place.
[FUNABORI]
Think! He's counting on you!
Somewhere guys don't
have easy access to.
Look, I'm not tryin'
to rush you here,
but the natives are restless.
Uh, yeah.
Shakin' your head like
that isn't really helping.
My head, huh?
Copy that loud and clear!
Shielding mode engaged!
[KAZAMA]
What the hell?
[FUNABORI]
There!
Now no one would dare
touch your briefcase
because I just
stuffed my head in it!
Wow it's super dark in here.
If someone were to
yank it off, it would hurt.
Like really bad.
But that's okay!
'Cause I trust you guys!
I know that Ataru and Siou
would never do anything
to hurt me on
purpose, right?
[ATARU]
Well played, Funabori!
You've won this round!
[KAZAMA]
Wait, it actually worked?
[SIOU chuckles]
[SIOU]
My dear.
You are the champion
of cramped spaces!
[FUNABORI] Was--
Was that sarcastic, or?
Hey, are you all right?
[FUNABORI]
I don't know.
[NOE]
"Provisional"?
You're kidding me.
Why would he join a club with
a lame-o name like that?
[ROKA] Care to join me
for a spot of tea, Takao?
I'd love to, but I really
need to get to my own club.
I can't even tempt
you with a macaroon?
Well, I
maybe I could.
Okay, whose little eyeball keeps
peeping into our clubroom?
Here, take a seat.
Would you like some tea?
Stuff your face?
[NOE] Red alert!
They're baiting me!
[CHITOSE] This is
our advisor, by the way.
[NOE]
What?
Don't I know you?
You're a first year
student, right?
Uh, that's me! Yeah!
I can't place it, but
you look kinda' familiar.
[NOE] I'm talking to the
Student Body President!
And she's just like Ogawa said!
Take my word for it, girlfriend,
that Karasuyama chick
is the coolest president
this school's ever had.
[NOE] But why is she slumming
in a nerd cave like this?
Your hair is ringing
some serious bells.
So you're a first year?
There's no need to worry.
We're rather big fans
of cute and small.
[NOE]
Who you talkin' to,
Miss Four-Foot-Nothin'
Blondie Brown Eyes?
That hair.
[NOE] Okay, why are
you freaking out?
You didn't even touch my hair!
Mmm-hmm.
That explains it.
Uh, what's going on?
Apparently, spiky hair
runs in the family.
Not gonna lie, I always
assumed he dyed it.
Yes, well it's conceivable
they just use the same dye.
[NOE] Ew!
We don't share product!
Hey, guys?
Uh, clue me in, please.
She's
[CHITOSE]
You guessed it.
That's his Little Sister.
Wait, what?
Little sister?
Kazama never mentioned
anything about this to me!
Are the two of you
close enough
that'd you feel
entitled to know?
Hey!
What's he to you,
Fanny Funpacks?
[TAKAO]
Nothing! Nothing, I swear!
Not that it's a competition,
but I already knew.
Everybody just needs
to back off, okay?
Putting your hands in my hair
like this is a petting zoo.
How'd you like it if
someone touched your hair
and was all weird?
Maybe I'm sensitive
about how spiky it is!
All right?
I--I'm really sorry.
And the way you just assume
we're brother and sister
'cause of our hair!
If you're basing it on spiky,
maybe she's a relative!
She looks like she's wearing a
friggin' porcupine on her head!
To be totally honest, I think
being Kazama's Little Sister
would be pretty awesome.
Okay, It's kinda' creepy
for you to say that
while you're
brushing your hair!
Was that bed head?
--That's impressive.
--That's impressive.
[NOE] You've never
seen her like that before?
Good call, Ogawa.
This one's amazing, too.
I'm tellin' ya,
look out for Mizukami.
She'll turn your world upside
down with how amazing she is.
[NOE]
Why is she here, then?
Is this club just
a front or something?
Like it's really a
lair for the cool kids?
[NOE] I couldn't get my
head around why big bro
would join an outfit like this.
But with all the big shots here,
I guess it makes sense.
I think. Maybe.
[ROKA]
Excuse me, Little Sis?
Huh? Did you?
So tell us what kind
of things you're into.
Uh, 'kay,
out of left field.
You mean, like, people or
Like your brother?
Ugh! That's so gross!
I, uh, like
ice cream! Yeah!
Oh, okay!
So you draw your power
from an ice elemental!
[NOE]
I'm sorry, do what now?
Ice Type, say hello
to Water Type.
Maybe we really are
relatives after all, huh?
[NOE] Is this some kind of
a screening process,
or is she just nuts?
So how do you
feel about water?
Uh I dunno.
I guess it's cool or whatever;
I haven't really
thought about it.
What are your feelings
on earth-based magic?
You like dirt?
Uh Same as water,
I s'pose.
We'd be screwed without it.
I see. And what are
your feelings on fire?
Well, we need it
to cook and stuff, so--
What the hell's with all
these weird questions?
So what about games?
You appreciate those?
Okay, that one
was halfway normal!
[ALL] You can tell
she's Kazama's sister
by the way she
flubs a punch line.
Well, she's a fan of water!
[NOE] Why do I feel
like I'm in a sideshow tent?
If I don't make a
break for it soon,
they'll infect me
with their crazy.
[phone ringing]
Hey. Yeah, I know.
Sorry, I got caught
up in something;
I'm going to be late.
[ROKA]
Whoa!
Excuse me, but is that
what I think it is?
[TAKAO]
Huh?
[ROKA] When did you
get a phone strap
of Mason riding
Endgar the dolphin
from the Magical Village game?
[ROKA] That's a limited
edition item, special ordered
by the manager
of Virtual Poi!
I happen to know this
because I was camping out
in line when the
latest version of
the game went on sale.
And yet I don't recall
seeing you there.
Which is more than a little odd,
especially given
that Kazama was.
[TAKAO]
I am so busted!
Hold on a second.
Since when is Mr. Attitude the
type to wait in line for a game?
Not really his style.
[ROKA]
But he was there.
I saw him.
He was dressed up
in a Mason cosplay.
I'm calling shenanigans!
No. Just no!
Believe me!
Now that I think of it,
his wizard's cloak
was really well-made.
No!
And when pressed,
he cast a spell.
Fire Archer!
What?
That better not be
code for something!
You're freaking me out here!
[ROKA] But he didn't want
to cast Cold Freezer,
which I find weird,
considering that his own sister
is an ice-type.
That would've been so cool.
[NOE] Look, I don't know how
well you think you know him,
but there's no way we're
talkin' about the same Kazama!
[TAKAO]
Oh, dear.
This is escalating quickly.
Should I save the
poor guy's reputation,
or bring on Roka's wrath
by admitting he and I
waited in line together?
She won't believe
it was innocent.
Oh!
[TAKAO]
Of course!
There's a perfectly good
explanation why your brother
was outside a game store
in wizard cosplay.
He owed me a favor
and I cashed in on it
by ordering him to wait
in line on my behalf!
You did what?
[TAKAO]
On second thought,
perhaps I should have
said "requested" instead.
You know, thinking
back, he did mention
on more than one occasion
owing you big-time.
So you had him pony up
for the game, huh?
Yes! Exactly!
Works for me.
Nice touch making him
put on the wizard getup.
Bet he secretly loved it!
Eh? Well, possibly,
but it was on my command!
Wait, so you're saying
that he only cast that
awesome Fire Archer spell
because you ordered him to?
Right! Yes!
No point cosplaying 'less
you give it a hundrend 'n ten.
Point being it was all me.
Otherwise he wouldn't be caught
dead doing something like that.
[TAKAO] Ha! Reputations
saved all the way around.
[TAKAO] Uh, then again,
it might be kinda difficult
to respect a Big Brother
when you think he allows
a girl to tell him
what to do.
Great, now I look
like a total witch.
[NOE]
Who is this chick?
Bro doesn't let himself get
pushed around by anybody,
but somehow she's got him
around her little finger?
What's with that?
Wait.
There's a girl named Takao
that puts the rest
of 'em to shame.
Make no mistake, that
one's got assets for days.
Ogawa didn't just
talk her up;
she made hand
motions in the air!
I'm in the presence of royalty!
Hey there.
Are you okay?
Don't be scared.
[NOE]
No. Divinity!
Uh, still with us?
You seem shell-shocked.
I can't handle all
this amazing!
[squeals]
Don't come any closer, please!
I'm not worthy!
[whimpering]
[ROKA]
Little Sister, no!
[SAKURA] She hit the bookcase
hard enough to knock down
both volumes of I Love!
I--I'm so sorry!
Ow! Brother, help!
[ALL]
Oh, crap.
Boobs McGee attacked
me with her assets!
No! I used my hands!
I swear I did!
--She called you Boobs McGee.
--She called you Boobs McGee.
Don't get any ideas.
A nickname like that'll
never stick!
Boobs McGee, huh?
[TAKAO]
Go back to sleep!
[NOE]
Kenji
Kenji, I
[KAZAMA]
Noe? What's going on?
You only talk to me in public
when something's wrong.
I, uh, might've sorta
gone and checked out
your little club.
[NOE] We walked home
together that day.
In total silence.
And I got treated
to the fanciest
convenience store ice
cream that money could buy.
[NOE]
Gimme a break, Kenji.
Why should I bother
making you a lunch
if you're just
gonna forget it? Ugh.
I'm sorry.
Yesterday was--
[NOE]
Please forgive me!
It was super rude of me
to call you that name!
I wasn't thinking!
What are the chances of
running into this girl
twice in two freakin' days?
Am I cursed?
[TAKAO] Oh. The poor thing
must be terrified of me.
Not that I blame her,
all things considered.
No.
Yesterday was just a
big misunderstanding.
Uh, can you look at me?
The whole thing
was my fault!
I didn't mean to
grab your boobs.
--I'm sorry!
--Whoa!
To be honest though, it's
amazing how bouncy they are,
I mean--
Bouncy?
Well yeah,
didn't you see 'em?
Could you please
shut your face?
I mean, use your inside voice?
[NOE]
Sorry again.
I don't know how to explain it.
I guess I was just
scar--uh, shaken up.
Oh, come on!
There's no reason
for you to be scared.
[NOE]
I'm dying.
This is so awkward.
I blame you, Big Brother.
What am I supposed to do?
I don't have a reason
to be scared?
Then again, she is kinda cute.
And who am I kidding,
those things are awesome.
And apparently full of crazy.
I need to get the
hell out of here.
Thank you for talking to
me, but I've gotta go now.
Ah. I see.
Well, take it easy.
Maybe we can do lunch
together sometime?
[NOE]
And you're out!
[NOE]
Not to sound ungrateful,
but why would you wanna
eat lunch with me?
Uh, seriously?
Uh
No particular
reason, really.
I just figured it'd be nice of
me to make an effort
since we got off on
the wrong foot and all.
There're no ulterior motives
involved, I swear!
[NOE]
Ulterior motives?
Why is she so nervous?
This seems kinda sketchy.
What does this amazing girl
want to do with me?
Uh, so like I said,
I've gotta go.
Kenji was a doofus
and left his bento box
on the kitchen counter.
[NOE]
Well played.
Thanks for giving me an
excuse to avoid her, Kenji.
Even though it is your fault
I'm in this mess to begin with.
Ah, I understand.
Well, that's yeah.
Maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask
if he'd be interested
in joining us?
[NOE] Is she asking me and
my brother out on a date?
What a freak!
Yeah, no.
It'd be kinda awkward to
eat with him at school.
One of those
brother-sister things?
Besides, I'd just hold you up.
I left my lunch
back in the classroom.
It doesn't have to be
today; any time is good.
You know, I could take
his bento box to him for you
so you don't have
to go back and forth!
See, I'm in the classroom next
to his, so it'd be convenient.
Hello there.
You recognize this, I trust?
That's right, I took it
from your sister.
Who, I might add,
is a pushover.
Oh yeah, I took the
liberty of mixing things up.
Eat every last bite, now!
Don't wanna waste protein!
And you can only use your mouth!
Please help me,
Big Brother.
I'm frightened and I
don't know what to do.
[TAKAO] What's wrong?
What happened?
Did I miss something?
Uh
[ROKA]
No!
Step back, foul Takao!
I will not allow you to
harass my baby sister!
What? No one's
harassing anyone!
Somehow you have
managed to petrify
she with the
strongest of wills!
There's more to you
than meets the eye!
Gulp!
[TAKAO] Stop looking
at me like that!
I didn't do anything!
[ROKA]
A likely story!
I condemn thee, Takao Thunder!
--Takao Thunder!
--[TAKAO] Don't try to turn
--Takao Thunder!
--my name into an incantation!
Takao Thunder!
I really like where
this is headed.
What's wrong
with you people?
I just offered to take
Kazama's bento box to him
so his sister wouldn't have
to go to the trouble!
Where's the crime in that?
[ROKA]
Oh.
Well I have the perfect
solution to this conundrum.
I'll deliver the box
to him myself.
[TAKAO]
There is no "conundrum!"
Um, I'm thinkin'
I overreacted.
Maybe Roka should, I mean, one
of you should take it to him.
[TAKAO]
Wait.
Did she just let it slip that
she'd prefer Roka to do it?
[ROKA]
My pleasure.
It's in good hands, Sis.
Hey, who the heck
do you think you are?
I offered to take it first!
She clearly said either
one of us could take it!
[TAKAO] That may very well be,
but you sandbagged me!
Sandbagged?
Are you that desperate
to pilfer Kazama's lunch?
[TAKAO]
I'm not pilfering it!
I'm dropping it off out of the
goodness of my heart, honest!
Then don't let me stop you!
It's not fair, you can't--
Did you feel that, my son?
Yeah!
It came from all
the way back home!
[ROKA]
No!
[TAKAO]
What have I done?
[ROKA]
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
You know what?
Forget about the whole thing.
To tell you the truth,
I'm relieved it spilled.
--Relieved?
--Relieved?
Oh, dear. Look at it.
And you went to all the
trouble to make him lunch.
[NOE]
It's no big deal.
He'll manage one way or another.
He always does.
I'd offer my bento box
to make up for it, except,
as luck would have it,
I was a moron
and left mine on the
kitchen counter this morning.
[NOE]
Coincidence?
[TAKAO]
Here.
The pastry I was
going to eat instead.
Take it. It's the
least I could do.
[NOE]
Huh?
Well, uh I'm sure
he'll appreciate it.
She's really going
to give this to him?
She might actually be nice.
[ROKA]
We must ask ourselves
whether such a petty
offering will appease him.
He is a growing boy.
This will only make
his appetite angry!
Then what do you
think we should do?
We must also give him
this bento box.
Originally crafted for me,
by the youngest member
of my family.
[NOE]
How considerate!
[TAKAO] The sacrifice
is making her tremble!
She sure is
taking her time.
[NOE]
Uh, hey, Bro.
Here y'go.
The hell's with
the entourage?
[ROKA]
Farewell!
What the?
Hey, what're doing
hanging out with them?
Fine, whatever.
Be weird.
[KAZAMA] "Big Sister, I love
you"? And there's a heart?
The leader of the Kazama
Gang goes by "Big Sister"?
Why would that be
the first thing
that popped
in your heads?
[CHITOSE]
So,
Anything interesting
happen today?
[ROKA]
Hey, Kazama?
I need my bento
box back, please!
You think you did me
a favor, huh?
[TAMA]
The notorious Kenji Kazama.