Family Affair (1966) s01e09 Episode Script

1
No, Nancy, I'm sorry, I can't.
No, no, I can't do any socializing for
about 10 days.
Well, I've got these Brazilian
specifications to finish up, and as soon
as the contract is signed, I'll make it up
to you.
Huh?
That's a promise.
Yeah, bye.
Well!
Hi, hi.
You home so soon?
Oh, dear me.
I think we must have set a new record for
the distance.
How was school?
Like always.
Except we had art.
We drew trees and flowers.
Miss Evans gave us stars.
Ah.
Well, that's very good.
Very good.
Where's yours, Jody?
That's mine, too.
Oh, I see.
You work together, huh?
I'm good at flowers.
I'm good at trees.
Well, it was nice to meet you.
Nothing like teamwork.
Come along, come along.
Mr. Davis is very busy, so off you go,
Jody.
Welcome to the moon.
Mrs. Beasley has friends there.
Well, be back in time for dinner,
will you?
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Mrs. Brown, the vice principal,
gave me this for you.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Mr. Davis, something to discuss Buffy and
Jody.
Earliest convenience tomorrow morning.
Could I be of some assistance,
sir?
No, I'll manage, thanks.
You know, sir, the twins seem to be very
satisfied with PS724.
Well, maybe PS724 isn't satisfied with
them.
Wonderful children, Mr. Davis.
They're attentive in class.
They're imaginative in their responses.
They're well-disciplined.
Well-disciplined and courteous.
But they are completely dependent on each
other.
Well, you see, they were separated for
about a year after their parents died.
That was before they came to stay with me.
So I guess they're just still hanging on
to each other.
It seems natural to me.
They're constantly together, Mr. Davis.
At lunch hour, recess, they haven't made
any friends.
I guess we have to give them time.
Their teacher says that the same thing
holds true in the classroom.
If Buffy's called on to recite,
why, Jody helps her, and vice versa.
What do you suggest?
That's up to you.
I thought we should bring the matter to
your attention.
If you share our concern, we can see that the
twins are separated, put into different classrooms.
That would be different lunch hours and
recesses.
Well, Mrs. Brown, I
I appreciate your concern, but I just think for
their age, they've had about enough shocks.
So, if you don't mind, I think we'll just
slow and easy with them for a while.
Of course.
You must do as you think is best.
See, for a guy like me with no experience
at all, I have to kind of play it by ear.
Think it over, Mr. Davis.
And if you change your mind, call me.
Surely.
Well, why shouldn't Jody and Buffy depend
on each other, huh?
Is that a rhetorical question,
sir?
Did we bring those two kids together just
so we could separate them again?
No, sir.
Why?
They're smart, they're disciplined,
they're courteous.
Yes, sir.
And they've got a perfectly healthy relationship,
and it's ridiculous to start tampering with it now.
Mrs. Brown, I know Mrs. Brown.
That's the way I feel.
Bravo, sir.
What do I know about kids?
One day I've got none, and the next day
I've got three.
Some of us have greatness, trust upon us,
sir.
In our case, it was parenthood.
Yeah.
Now, what if Mrs. Brown is right,
huh?
I make a mistake now, and those kids pay
for it later.
Well, in the question of child psychology,
sir, I suggest why don't you turn to the experts?
Mrs. Brown is an expert.
There are child psychologists,
sir, just as there are, I believe,
dog psychologists.
The bald ones called in a child psychologist when
one of their kids wouldn't come down out of a tree.
Very good, sir.
Who said raising kids was simple?
I don't know, sir, but I look it up.
Well, well, they've been challenged and
insecure for a long time.
What's the matter with them turning to
each other?
Sooner or later, they have to cope with
outsiders.
And the longer that moment is delayed, the more
critical, the more painful that adjustment will be.
Well, they sure seem to be happy.
The comfortable way out, Mr. Davis,
is to do nothing.
To enjoy their present happiness,
let them enjoy it.
Refuse to face the future consequences.
But the responsible parent can't always do
the comfortable thing.
I'm beginning to find that out.
All right, you think they should be
separated, huh?
Yes, I do.
Remember that the separation at school is
only part of it.
You have to help them develop their own
individual interests.
Perhaps dancing, art classes for Buffy,
sports for Jody.
Okay, doctor, you're the expert, I'm the
amateur, and the experts seem to agree.
So I'll call Mrs. Brown.
Hi.
Hi, Uncle Bill.
Well, who's winning?
They are.
Oh, two against one, huh?
I make the moves.
I crown the kings.
Oh, I see.
Listen, I got a surprise for you two.
Chocolate cake with marshmallows?
No, this surprise is about school.
I had a little talk with Mrs. Brown,
see, and we decided that starting
tomorrow, you're gonna be in one first grade
and you're gonna be in another first grade.
Why?
Why?
Well, because this way, you see,
you'll meet twice as many kids and you'll
make twice as many friends and you'll have
twice as much fun.
Uncle Bill, do we have to have this
surprise?
No, it's all arranged and it's gonna start in
the morning and I'll see you later for dinner.
It doesn't sound like a surprise to me.
You get surprises when you've been good.
It sounds more like what you get when
you've been bad.
Hello, Jody.
Good morning, Mrs. Brown.
Would you like to play with some of the
other boys?
I can't.
I'm up in the sky in my spaceship.
Oh, I see.
Well, perhaps after the splashdown you'll
feel like playing catch or tag.
I'm not coming down till I run out of
oxygen.
Oh.
Hello, Buffy.
Good morning.
Would you like to play hopscotch with some
of the girls?
I'd like to.
Good.
But I can't.
You're, uh, up in a spaceship.
No, Mrs. Brown.
I'm on the ground.
But I got to stay in contact with the
spaceship.
Hi.
Well.
How'd it go today?
Meet a lot of new kids?
The boy behind me ate a piece of chalk.
Eight kids in our class have the measles.
He means measles, sir.
That's what I said.
Measles.
Come along, Jody.
Mr. Davis is very busy.
You just run up to your room.
And as for you, young lady, we must run
along.
We don't want to be late for our first
class.
Uncle Bill, do I have to go to dancing
school?
Well, honey, most little girls like to go.
Yes, dancing is good discipline.
It teaches you an erect carriage,
poise, and grace of movement.
Why can't Jody go with me?
Oh, this is for young ladies.
We'll find other suitable masculine things
for Jody to do.
Now, come along, Buffy.
We have to fit you with leotards and slippers
and all things like that before your class.
Come on.
Come on.
Did you, uh, by any chance, want to go
over to the park and play a game of catch?
You and me?
Yep.
Sure, but what about all your work?
Well, that can wait.
Oh, I'm going to go back to the office for
a while, French.
You better not wait dinner.
Oh, very good, sir.
What do we got here?
This is Pete, Uncle Bill.
Master Adams and his family reside in this
building, sir.
Perfect.
You guys meet at school?
I give him my vegetable soup for his
banana.
Fair enough.
I'm going to get my turtle.
Then I'll go play zoo.
I got two hamsters and a lizard.
Well, it seems to be working.
I guess Mrs. Brown was right.
He's, uh, relating, huh?
So it seems so, but, uh
That's only half the problem.
Oh, well, she'll find her own friends,
too.
Just give her time.
Bye, Buffy.
Bye, Uncle Bill.
Boy, Jody and Cissy.
Oh, Cissy requested permission to go to an
eatery with the unlikely.
The name of the gourmet hamburger,
sir.
Jody has been asked to dine with Master
Pete.
Oh, you and Mrs. Beasley have French all
to yourselves, huh?
Yes, sir.
Can I serve you dinner now, sir?
No, thanks, French.
I had a sandwich at the office.
I'll just sit here with Buffy till she
finishes.
I'm finished.
We seem to have misplaced our appetite,
sir.
Don't you feel well?
Yes, sir.
Uh-huh.
Hi, I'm back.
Did you have a good time?
You know something?
Pete can watch TV while he eats, and he gets
dessert, even if he doesn't finish his vegetables.
Well, you're gonna have to invite Pete to
have dinner with you.
Think I'll find the country.
Pete's mother asked me if I could go with
them for the weekend.
This weekend?
I said I'd have to ask you if I could go.
Well, do you want to go?
No, if you don't want me to.
Sure, I want you to go.
It'll be good for you.
I'll call up Pete's mother and see when
you're going and what you have to take along.
Mr. French, how long is a weekend?
From Friday to Monday.
Yeah?
That's a long time.
Excuse me, Uncle Bill?
Yeah, what is it, honey?
It's Buffy.
She's just sitting in our room holding
Mrs. Beasley.
When I try to talk to her, she says she's
gone to the moon for the weekend.
It's her imagination.
She misses Jody.
Yeah, I know, honey, but right now they've got to
find different friends and go their separate ways.
But they're only six, Uncle Bill.
I know how old they are.
But people who know a lot more about
what's good for kids than I do tell me
that now is the time, so I've got to go
along with the opinion of experts.
Well, I'd like to stay with Buffy,
but I just don't dig this geometry.
And Helen Marie promised to put me with it
if I'd come over.
Okay, you go get with it.
Now, don't worry about Buffy.
I'll take care of her.
Go on.
Okay.
What?
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Buffy, aren't there any little girls from
your class that live near us?
I don't know, Uncle Bill.
How can it be right when I feel it's so
wrong?
Beg your pardon, sir?
She's just as plain unhappy right now as
she was when she first got here.
Yeah, so it seems, sir.
These kids have had to make too many
adjustments too fast.
Oh, I don't know, sir.
I think that when Miss Buffy finds a
friend of her own, she'll be quite all right.
How's she gonna find a friend when she's
up on the moon?
I don't know, sir.
Well, we have to find a friend for her.
Well, perhaps I could canvas the various
nannies, sir, and ascertain just who is available.
All right, you do that.
Meanwhile, I'll take her out on a playmate
scouting expedition.
Excuse us.
Nice day.
Isn't it?
I think your little girl and mine must be
about the same age.
Laura Ruth is six.
Six?
So, Buffy, Buffy, did you hear that?
Laura Ruth and you are the same age.
Isn't that nice?
I bet you and Laura Ruth could have a lot of fun
playing a game of tag or hopscotch or something.
Anita, here we are.
We're going to take the girls for a soda
and then on to a matinee.
Come on, Laura Ruth.
It's, uh
Simon says stoop.
Stand.
You're out.
Hi.
You got room for another player?
You're too big, mister.
No, I don't mean to be.
Here, Buffy wants to play, though.
Is that okay?
Okay.
You do whatever Simon says.
If you do something he doesn't say,
you're out.
Simon says hop.
Pop!
Simon says jump!
Squat!
You're out.
What happened?
Simon didn't say squat.
I'm out.
Buffy, would you like to have a soda and a
matinee, too?
Okay, Uncle Bill.
Whatever that is.
Well, hi.
Hey.
Hi, Uncle Bill.
How was Connecticut?
Good.
Did you have a good time?
Peacock was an Ivy, but I didn't.
Mrs. Adams was very complimentary,
sir.
She invited Jody to accompany them again
next weekend.
But I don't have to go, do I, Uncle Bill?
No, not if you don't want to.
Good.
Mrs. Adams also mentioned two things, sir,
which were highly uncharacteristic about Jody.
She was extremely quiet and had very
little appetite.
Hi.
Hi.
It's pretty.
I found it in the country.
You can keep it.
Thanks.
You said you weren't coming down till
Tuesday.
We have to go to school tomorrow.
I don't like school anymore.
Me neither, but we have to go.
Everybody does.
Not everybody.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me, sir.
I would only intrude like this in an extreme
emergency, but I'm afraid this qualifies.
Could you please come, sir?
What kind of emergency?
We appear to have an epidemic,
sir.
Epidemic?
Of measles, sir.
How do you feel?
Hmm.
You don't seem to have any fever.
We will, pretty soon.
Well, it's very strange it hits you both
at the same time like that.
Well, and you are twins.
Gee, maybe we ought to call a doctor.
Oh, no, we don't need a doctor.
We'll just stay home and get well.
Well, I know a real good home remedy.
See?
Instant health.
Now, that's a very artistic job.
Which one of you did it?
I did Jody.
I did Buffy.
I did Buffy.
You want to tell me why?
Well, maybe I can tell you.
You didn't want to go to school so this way
you could stay home and be together, huh?
Now I guess you're mad at us.
I'm not mad at anybody.
Now, you wash the rest of
that off and I'm going to get you
back to school and see that
you're in the same class again.
The surprise is over?
It is for you two.
We've got one left for Mrs. Brown.
The epidemic is under control.
Synthetic measles, eh?
Yep.
After this, we're going to stick to our own instincts,
French, because we have got one edge on those experts.
We love those kids.
And that makes a difference.
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