Government Cheese (2025) s01e09 Episode Script
R&D
1
[film reel whirs]
[birds chirping]
Okay.
Groovy.
Action.
To be a great pole-vaulter,
you must have the speed of a sprinter,
the ability of a long jumper,
the agility of a gymnast,
and the flexibility of a ballerina.
Hello.
My name is Einstein Chambers,
and I love pole-vaulting.
The approach.
["You Better Get Gone Baby" playing]
[Einstein] The fly away.
[exclaims]
The swing up.
[sighs] Yeah, I did that.
[Mini] Action.
[exclaims]
[grunts]
And that's what pole-vaulting is.
If one part of the sequence is off,
then it all falls apart.
[chuckling]
[song continues]
[chuckles]
[song ends]
["She Belongs to Me" playing]
Good morning.
What time is it?
Time for you to get up.
- [sighs]
- I'll make you some breakfast.
Your favorite.
Coffee.
And a kiss.
I'm proud of Einstein taking
that interview at Rocketcorp today.
Me too.
[song continues on radio]
[line ringing]
[song stops]
[Manny] Maintenance.
Hey, Manny.
Dremel still meets
at Rocketcorp today, right?
Yeah. The fifth of every month.
[Hampton] And he has a set schedule?
He's as reliable as clockwork?
Yeah, he is.
He's our only supplier who comes
to Rocketcorp himself to check everything.
No other CEO is as hands-on.
Then that's a man
I wanna be in business with.
Hold on. You said you didn't
want to work with Dremel.
Build not sell, remember?
Things have changed.
I'm coming by today.
This is an opportunity.
We're not ready for Dremel.
One strike and we're out.
We just need to show Dremel
the Bit Magician.
It'll be a home run.
This could be a big account for us.
It'll generate cash flow.
[Manny] Dremel is a top client.
You can't just barge in here.
I'll get fired.
I am not risking my job again.
[sighs] Okay, fine.
We can discuss the approach on Dremel.
All right. But do not come by
here today, Hampton.
That's not how business is done.
[line disconnects, beeps]
Einstein.
Einstein!
[Einstein] Yeah?
Today's your interview at Rocketcorp.
I know, but I changed my mind.
I found a pole-vaulting team in Oregon.
No. No, you're not going to blow this off.
It's time for you to grow up
and make some responsible decisions.
What is Mickey doing in your bed?
- [Mini] Mini.
- She's my camera girl. [scoffs]
We're making a video
to apply to George Fox College.
- Reggie Holdsworth is coaching.
- [Einstein] Mini found it.
I've always wanted to go to Oregon.
I'll accompany you to Rocketcorp today
and help you find the path
that Yahweh has cleared for you.
So you're saying Yahweh meant for you
to drop Einstein on his head?
- You dropped Einstein on his head?
- Acquired Savant Syndrome.
As a matter of fact,
I do believe it was God's hand at work.
Just like he has led your path
to summer school.
[chuckles]
- Is that what you're wearing?
- Yes.
Put on a jacket.
But this is me.
Fine. Okay.
- [sighs]
- I think you look nice.
[people chattering]
How does he end up in a chimney?
Trying to escape.
It just doesn't make any sense.
[Barfield] He probably ran up the street,
but a patrol car was nearby.
Shit.
["The Name of the Game" playing]
- [squelches]
- [panting]
[sighs]
[dog growls]
[both growling]
- [growls, yells]
- [dog barks]
[barking]
[resident] Hello. Is someone outside?
[song continues]
[grunts]
[gasps]
[grunting]
[coughs]
Oh, shit.
[coughing]
- Help!
- [song ends]
So he goes onto a roof and down a chimney?
Most criminals are not smart.
Known associates
for Ricky "Bootsy" Barnes.
Thank you.
[sighs]
Told you the Prevosts were involved.
They're every criminal's known associates.
Come on. Let's go show the rabbi.
[blows raspberry] Hmm.
[people chattering]
Remember, a firm handshake,
look 'em in the eye.
Firm handshake, look 'em in the eye.
And do not mention llamas.
- No llamas.
- Or mongoose.
Understood.
[people chattering]
[receptionist] Thank you.
You feel ready?
Not yet but I'm exactly on schedule.
My pole training
has given me an incredible boost.
For the interview.
Here. Today.
Oh.
Well, sure. Why not?
That is a beautiful brooch.
Thank you. It was my grandmother's.
Nice.
Please forgive me for asking, but, um,
is Dean Dremel coming in today?
Who's asking?
I only ask because my son's
a great admirer of Mr. Dremel.
You could say the man's his hero.
Mr. Dremel? Really?
I hate to get Einstein's hopes up,
but is there any chance
they could, uh, meet?
I am a approved vendor for Rocketcorp.
I'm sorry, but we're told
never to bother Mr. Dremel.
Of course.
I understand.
Einstein Chambers?
Hey.
- Good to see you. Hi.
- [Einstein] Good. How you doing?
Right this way.
[chuckles]
[receptionist]
He's gonna do great. [chuckles]
You mind if I, uh
Oh, I'm sorry. You can't enter
without proper authorization.
- Really?
- I'm sorry.
- Okay. Okay.
- [chuckles]
- [mouthing words] Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
[breathes deeply]
[sighs]
Just, uh, perusing
where my son's name's gonna be.
Yeah. Right here.
- Campbell and Chapman.
- Mmm.
[phone rings]
Thank you for calling Rocketcorp.
How can I help you?
Oh, yes.
Yes. Let me take a-a message. One second.
Okay. Go ahead with the callback number.
Go ahead.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And the message?
[exhales]
[whispers] Sorry.
[interviewer] Wow.
But yeah
It's a very large room
but we, uh, run a pretty tight ship.
We're gonna make a right. Right here.
Right through there.
You are winning, Hampton Chambers.
You are winning.
I don't see the new diamond wheels.
[sales executive]
They were ordered yesterday morning.
We could have brought them ourselves.
Wasted resources.
Business is solid otherwise.
Could be better.
- Excuse me?
- Who are you?
Mr. Dean Dremel.
You went from electric fish scalers
to becoming the preeminent manufacturer
of rotary cutting tools.
You started, and please forgive
my use of a derogatory term here,
but you started as a tool peddler.
[chuckles]
[all laugh]
And you are?
Hampton Chambers, tool peddler.
And if I could just have
a minute of your time,
I'd like to introduce you
to the Bit Magician.
I'm sorry. You can't just bring that
No, no, no. Let me look.
[supply manager] Okay.
It's a plan for a drill?
[Hampton] Self-sharpening drill.
And these are not just plans.
I built this.
[Dean] Hmm.
Wow.
How about we start
with a small test order?
- [chuckles]
- [Dean] Say, ten units.
That's three grand.
When could you deliver?
We're a small operation.
I build per order.
So, I'm gonna need payment up front.
[scoffs, chuckles]
No, I'm I'm sorry.
I can't do that.
- Uh
- [door opens]
And here's the big surprise
your lifelong hero.
The one and only, Dean Dremel.
Hi. Einstein Chambers.
Dean Dremel. The tool designer.
You founded the company in 1940.
Won all the tool and die business
from McDonnell Douglas.
And you've graced the cover of
Aerospace and Defense Monthly three times.
[chuckles] I've read all the issues.
[chuckles]
My son, Einstein, is being recruited
by the R & D department.
Really?
- How'd it go?
- Excellent.
They're gonna send a formal offer.
[chuckles]
Impressive.
All thanks to my father.
You know, I was actually gonna
blow off the interview today,
but he made me realize
how important it was.
[chuckles]
[Einstein] He truly values commitment
and follow-through.
Dean, are you familiar
with the pink mongoose?
[all chuckle]
No. I can't say that I am.
Oh, well, it's a fascinating story.
And if you work with my dad
I'll tell you all about it
next time I see you, okay?
[all laughing]
You are an unusual family.
And I've always found success
by thinking differently.
And clearly, that is in your DNA.
Come by tomorrow.
I'll have the $3,000 ready.
[chuckles] Thank you, sir.
[laughs]
[inhales sharply]
- They loved your work.
- [chuckles] Really?
Yes. They wanna meet with you.
Oh, wow.
Thank you. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
You know, well, many years ago,
I was gonna hang my own shingle.
Hank Briess Design.
You went by "Hank"?
[both chuckle]
Yeah, I would have if I'd done it.
But I didn't do it.
Never took the leap.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
[exhales]
San Francisco.
[sighs]
Hargrove, any ID on the known associates?
The rabbi didn't recognize anyone.
Hmm.
We have one last
known associate for Bootsy.
Records just sent it up.
Did time for passing bad checks.
Thanks.
[sighs]
- [phone rings]
- [Todd] Yeah?
[Hargrove] Hello, Mr. Edelbrock?
This is he.
This is Detective Hargrove.
I had a few questions
about Hampton Chambers.
[Todd] Hampton Chambers?
Stellar parolee.
Loving wife.
Really helping him
reintegrate into society.
Do you know where he was last weekend?
[Todd] Last weekend?
Fishing with his son.
I'm investigating a robbery.
A robbery?
Not Hampton.
He's on the straight and narrow.
"Straight as string," he says.
You know he came up with
a self-sharpening drill?
Drill?
Thank you, Mr. Edelbrock.
[Todd] Any time.
Did you get what you needed?
I never could get anything by you.
It's fine. I'm happy to help.
But just tell me next time.
[chuckles]
["Sun" playing on radio]
- [engine stops]
- [song stops]
Can I help you?
I'm Detective Francine Hargrove.
This is Detective Barfield.
We'd like to speak to Hampton Chambers.
He's not here.
He's working.
Do you know where he was on Saturday?
Fishing.
Interesting.
Do you know his friend, Bootsy?
Yes.
Bootsy is at the hospital in a coma.
Wh-What happened?
That's why we'd like
to speak with your husband.
[sighs]
Have him give us a call, would you?
Fishing, huh?
Nothing fishy about that.
[grunts]
Astoria, the stars and moon
in my sky, I did it.
The world is our oyster.
[chuckles]
Honey, what-what's wrong?
Oh, okay.
Wh-Whatever it is, um, I'm sorry.
But I found a new buyer for my drill.
Dremel Tools is gonna be
the new purveyor of the Bit Magician.
It's the beginning of a new partnership.
Imagine me, suit on, fresh cup of coffee,
walking out that door to my new Cadillac.
Driving to Dremel Tools,
where there will be a parking space
with my name on it.
Two years later,
it'll be Dremel and Chambers Tools.
- Can you see it?
- You know what I don't want to see?
You back in Chino.
What?
They had some questions
about your whereabouts this weekend.
Huh. I went fishing.
You have one chance
to be honest with me right now.
And if I even think that you are lying,
you are out of this house,
the garage, our life.
Okay.
- Okay. Um
- Hmm.
Since my release, I've been by the book.
Walking the good path.
You've seen me try, you have.
[sighs]
There was an incident in C-Block.
Fighting with a deadly weapon would
have meant more time on my sentence,
and I couldn't do that
to you and the boys again.
Don't try and act
like you did anything for us.
Okay, okay, okay. I know. I know.
Um, so
I called Bootsy.
And he got a lifer
to take the fall for me.
But then I found out that the lifer
was procured by none other
than the Prevost brothers.
So now, my debt is owed to them.
And because of this predicament,
in a moment of intense fear and duress,
I made
a small transgression.
Bootsy and I lightened the load in
a safe at a Jewish place of
worship.
I know. I know it sounds really bad.
But I quickly saw the error of my ways
and I returned the stolen money.
I even had a moment with a rabbi.
We prayed together.
- [laughs]
- Yeah.
How did I not see?
I want so badly to think
that you are going to figure it out.
That you are going to do right
by this family and by me.
It's like I can't see what you are doing.
I can't see who you really are,
which is a criminal.
No! I'm not.
[stammers] Look
[chuckles] I'm trying to fix it.
The deal with Dremel
I'm getting a check tomorrow.
I'll clear the debt and have a job.
And what about Bootsy?
Uh
I don't I don't I don't know.
Uh, we got the money out of the temple,
and then he grabbed some more stuff
and just disappeared.
Maybe he went to Tijuana
to sell the stuff?
They found him.
He's in a coma.
What do
[film reel whirs]
[birds chirping]
Okay.
Groovy.
Action.
To be a great pole-vaulter,
you must have the speed of a sprinter,
the ability of a long jumper,
the agility of a gymnast,
and the flexibility of a ballerina.
Hello.
My name is Einstein Chambers,
and I love pole-vaulting.
The approach.
["You Better Get Gone Baby" playing]
[Einstein] The fly away.
[exclaims]
The swing up.
[sighs] Yeah, I did that.
[Mini] Action.
[exclaims]
[grunts]
And that's what pole-vaulting is.
If one part of the sequence is off,
then it all falls apart.
[chuckling]
[song continues]
[chuckles]
[song ends]
["She Belongs to Me" playing]
Good morning.
What time is it?
Time for you to get up.
- [sighs]
- I'll make you some breakfast.
Your favorite.
Coffee.
And a kiss.
I'm proud of Einstein taking
that interview at Rocketcorp today.
Me too.
[song continues on radio]
[line ringing]
[song stops]
[Manny] Maintenance.
Hey, Manny.
Dremel still meets
at Rocketcorp today, right?
Yeah. The fifth of every month.
[Hampton] And he has a set schedule?
He's as reliable as clockwork?
Yeah, he is.
He's our only supplier who comes
to Rocketcorp himself to check everything.
No other CEO is as hands-on.
Then that's a man
I wanna be in business with.
Hold on. You said you didn't
want to work with Dremel.
Build not sell, remember?
Things have changed.
I'm coming by today.
This is an opportunity.
We're not ready for Dremel.
One strike and we're out.
We just need to show Dremel
the Bit Magician.
It'll be a home run.
This could be a big account for us.
It'll generate cash flow.
[Manny] Dremel is a top client.
You can't just barge in here.
I'll get fired.
I am not risking my job again.
[sighs] Okay, fine.
We can discuss the approach on Dremel.
All right. But do not come by
here today, Hampton.
That's not how business is done.
[line disconnects, beeps]
Einstein.
Einstein!
[Einstein] Yeah?
Today's your interview at Rocketcorp.
I know, but I changed my mind.
I found a pole-vaulting team in Oregon.
No. No, you're not going to blow this off.
It's time for you to grow up
and make some responsible decisions.
What is Mickey doing in your bed?
- [Mini] Mini.
- She's my camera girl. [scoffs]
We're making a video
to apply to George Fox College.
- Reggie Holdsworth is coaching.
- [Einstein] Mini found it.
I've always wanted to go to Oregon.
I'll accompany you to Rocketcorp today
and help you find the path
that Yahweh has cleared for you.
So you're saying Yahweh meant for you
to drop Einstein on his head?
- You dropped Einstein on his head?
- Acquired Savant Syndrome.
As a matter of fact,
I do believe it was God's hand at work.
Just like he has led your path
to summer school.
[chuckles]
- Is that what you're wearing?
- Yes.
Put on a jacket.
But this is me.
Fine. Okay.
- [sighs]
- I think you look nice.
[people chattering]
How does he end up in a chimney?
Trying to escape.
It just doesn't make any sense.
[Barfield] He probably ran up the street,
but a patrol car was nearby.
Shit.
["The Name of the Game" playing]
- [squelches]
- [panting]
[sighs]
[dog growls]
[both growling]
- [growls, yells]
- [dog barks]
[barking]
[resident] Hello. Is someone outside?
[song continues]
[grunts]
[gasps]
[grunting]
[coughs]
Oh, shit.
[coughing]
- Help!
- [song ends]
So he goes onto a roof and down a chimney?
Most criminals are not smart.
Known associates
for Ricky "Bootsy" Barnes.
Thank you.
[sighs]
Told you the Prevosts were involved.
They're every criminal's known associates.
Come on. Let's go show the rabbi.
[blows raspberry] Hmm.
[people chattering]
Remember, a firm handshake,
look 'em in the eye.
Firm handshake, look 'em in the eye.
And do not mention llamas.
- No llamas.
- Or mongoose.
Understood.
[people chattering]
[receptionist] Thank you.
You feel ready?
Not yet but I'm exactly on schedule.
My pole training
has given me an incredible boost.
For the interview.
Here. Today.
Oh.
Well, sure. Why not?
That is a beautiful brooch.
Thank you. It was my grandmother's.
Nice.
Please forgive me for asking, but, um,
is Dean Dremel coming in today?
Who's asking?
I only ask because my son's
a great admirer of Mr. Dremel.
You could say the man's his hero.
Mr. Dremel? Really?
I hate to get Einstein's hopes up,
but is there any chance
they could, uh, meet?
I am a approved vendor for Rocketcorp.
I'm sorry, but we're told
never to bother Mr. Dremel.
Of course.
I understand.
Einstein Chambers?
Hey.
- Good to see you. Hi.
- [Einstein] Good. How you doing?
Right this way.
[chuckles]
[receptionist]
He's gonna do great. [chuckles]
You mind if I, uh
Oh, I'm sorry. You can't enter
without proper authorization.
- Really?
- I'm sorry.
- Okay. Okay.
- [chuckles]
- [mouthing words] Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
[breathes deeply]
[sighs]
Just, uh, perusing
where my son's name's gonna be.
Yeah. Right here.
- Campbell and Chapman.
- Mmm.
[phone rings]
Thank you for calling Rocketcorp.
How can I help you?
Oh, yes.
Yes. Let me take a-a message. One second.
Okay. Go ahead with the callback number.
Go ahead.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And the message?
[exhales]
[whispers] Sorry.
[interviewer] Wow.
But yeah
It's a very large room
but we, uh, run a pretty tight ship.
We're gonna make a right. Right here.
Right through there.
You are winning, Hampton Chambers.
You are winning.
I don't see the new diamond wheels.
[sales executive]
They were ordered yesterday morning.
We could have brought them ourselves.
Wasted resources.
Business is solid otherwise.
Could be better.
- Excuse me?
- Who are you?
Mr. Dean Dremel.
You went from electric fish scalers
to becoming the preeminent manufacturer
of rotary cutting tools.
You started, and please forgive
my use of a derogatory term here,
but you started as a tool peddler.
[chuckles]
[all laugh]
And you are?
Hampton Chambers, tool peddler.
And if I could just have
a minute of your time,
I'd like to introduce you
to the Bit Magician.
I'm sorry. You can't just bring that
No, no, no. Let me look.
[supply manager] Okay.
It's a plan for a drill?
[Hampton] Self-sharpening drill.
And these are not just plans.
I built this.
[Dean] Hmm.
Wow.
How about we start
with a small test order?
- [chuckles]
- [Dean] Say, ten units.
That's three grand.
When could you deliver?
We're a small operation.
I build per order.
So, I'm gonna need payment up front.
[scoffs, chuckles]
No, I'm I'm sorry.
I can't do that.
- Uh
- [door opens]
And here's the big surprise
your lifelong hero.
The one and only, Dean Dremel.
Hi. Einstein Chambers.
Dean Dremel. The tool designer.
You founded the company in 1940.
Won all the tool and die business
from McDonnell Douglas.
And you've graced the cover of
Aerospace and Defense Monthly three times.
[chuckles] I've read all the issues.
[chuckles]
My son, Einstein, is being recruited
by the R & D department.
Really?
- How'd it go?
- Excellent.
They're gonna send a formal offer.
[chuckles]
Impressive.
All thanks to my father.
You know, I was actually gonna
blow off the interview today,
but he made me realize
how important it was.
[chuckles]
[Einstein] He truly values commitment
and follow-through.
Dean, are you familiar
with the pink mongoose?
[all chuckle]
No. I can't say that I am.
Oh, well, it's a fascinating story.
And if you work with my dad
I'll tell you all about it
next time I see you, okay?
[all laughing]
You are an unusual family.
And I've always found success
by thinking differently.
And clearly, that is in your DNA.
Come by tomorrow.
I'll have the $3,000 ready.
[chuckles] Thank you, sir.
[laughs]
[inhales sharply]
- They loved your work.
- [chuckles] Really?
Yes. They wanna meet with you.
Oh, wow.
Thank you. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
You know, well, many years ago,
I was gonna hang my own shingle.
Hank Briess Design.
You went by "Hank"?
[both chuckle]
Yeah, I would have if I'd done it.
But I didn't do it.
Never took the leap.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
[exhales]
San Francisco.
[sighs]
Hargrove, any ID on the known associates?
The rabbi didn't recognize anyone.
Hmm.
We have one last
known associate for Bootsy.
Records just sent it up.
Did time for passing bad checks.
Thanks.
[sighs]
- [phone rings]
- [Todd] Yeah?
[Hargrove] Hello, Mr. Edelbrock?
This is he.
This is Detective Hargrove.
I had a few questions
about Hampton Chambers.
[Todd] Hampton Chambers?
Stellar parolee.
Loving wife.
Really helping him
reintegrate into society.
Do you know where he was last weekend?
[Todd] Last weekend?
Fishing with his son.
I'm investigating a robbery.
A robbery?
Not Hampton.
He's on the straight and narrow.
"Straight as string," he says.
You know he came up with
a self-sharpening drill?
Drill?
Thank you, Mr. Edelbrock.
[Todd] Any time.
Did you get what you needed?
I never could get anything by you.
It's fine. I'm happy to help.
But just tell me next time.
[chuckles]
["Sun" playing on radio]
- [engine stops]
- [song stops]
Can I help you?
I'm Detective Francine Hargrove.
This is Detective Barfield.
We'd like to speak to Hampton Chambers.
He's not here.
He's working.
Do you know where he was on Saturday?
Fishing.
Interesting.
Do you know his friend, Bootsy?
Yes.
Bootsy is at the hospital in a coma.
Wh-What happened?
That's why we'd like
to speak with your husband.
[sighs]
Have him give us a call, would you?
Fishing, huh?
Nothing fishy about that.
[grunts]
Astoria, the stars and moon
in my sky, I did it.
The world is our oyster.
[chuckles]
Honey, what-what's wrong?
Oh, okay.
Wh-Whatever it is, um, I'm sorry.
But I found a new buyer for my drill.
Dremel Tools is gonna be
the new purveyor of the Bit Magician.
It's the beginning of a new partnership.
Imagine me, suit on, fresh cup of coffee,
walking out that door to my new Cadillac.
Driving to Dremel Tools,
where there will be a parking space
with my name on it.
Two years later,
it'll be Dremel and Chambers Tools.
- Can you see it?
- You know what I don't want to see?
You back in Chino.
What?
They had some questions
about your whereabouts this weekend.
Huh. I went fishing.
You have one chance
to be honest with me right now.
And if I even think that you are lying,
you are out of this house,
the garage, our life.
Okay.
- Okay. Um
- Hmm.
Since my release, I've been by the book.
Walking the good path.
You've seen me try, you have.
[sighs]
There was an incident in C-Block.
Fighting with a deadly weapon would
have meant more time on my sentence,
and I couldn't do that
to you and the boys again.
Don't try and act
like you did anything for us.
Okay, okay, okay. I know. I know.
Um, so
I called Bootsy.
And he got a lifer
to take the fall for me.
But then I found out that the lifer
was procured by none other
than the Prevost brothers.
So now, my debt is owed to them.
And because of this predicament,
in a moment of intense fear and duress,
I made
a small transgression.
Bootsy and I lightened the load in
a safe at a Jewish place of
worship.
I know. I know it sounds really bad.
But I quickly saw the error of my ways
and I returned the stolen money.
I even had a moment with a rabbi.
We prayed together.
- [laughs]
- Yeah.
How did I not see?
I want so badly to think
that you are going to figure it out.
That you are going to do right
by this family and by me.
It's like I can't see what you are doing.
I can't see who you really are,
which is a criminal.
No! I'm not.
[stammers] Look
[chuckles] I'm trying to fix it.
The deal with Dremel
I'm getting a check tomorrow.
I'll clear the debt and have a job.
And what about Bootsy?
Uh
I don't I don't I don't know.
Uh, we got the money out of the temple,
and then he grabbed some more stuff
and just disappeared.
Maybe he went to Tijuana
to sell the stuff?
They found him.
He's in a coma.
What do