Leanne (2025) s01e09 Episode Script

1
I can't stop thinking about Andrew.
That good?
I feel like a teenager again.
I guess I still had a few sad,
neglected hormones still in me,
just waiting for a reason
to come out and play.
You are riding
one of life's great natural highs.
Up there with hitting your goal weight
and growing your bangs out.
Ooh!
Hey, Mary.
Hello.
What's her deal?
It's that kiss you planted on her
at Zumba class.
It made her all twitchy.
These lips should come
with a warning label.
"May rattle the righteous."
Have a seat. Pretend we're having coffee.
Mrs. Rhodes, I really have to get home.
I don't feel clean about last night.
And I took a long, hot shower.
No. Now I've invoked an image.
No, you didn't.
But we kissed.
Church voice.
"We" did not kiss.
You kissed me.
What happened was wrong. Forbidden. Taboo.
And I forgive you. And He forgives you.
And whoever you need to forgives you.
Hey!
- Hey.
- You and I need to talk.
- This really isn't a good time.
- It's about that kiss.
No. It's written all over my face.
How's the ambrosia, Daddy?
That what this is?
It's the pastor's wife's recipe,
so just eat it.
- Did Mama get to Aunt Ruth's okay?
- Yeah.
Two caregivers,
yet your mama's got to tell them
what they're doing wrong.
How come you get to ditch church
when Mama's out of town,
but when I did it,
I was shipped to Bible camp?
Because you ditched church to steal a car.
Yeah.
So, this fella you're dating's in the FBI?
He is. He has a windbreaker
that says so right on the back.
Hey, you think he could get to the bottom
of who's been stealing our recycling bin?
I'll ask Andrew about the bins.
You know, in his free time,
when he's not getting to the bottom
of who shot JFK.
They know, Daddy.
Carol, don't be simple.
Andrew is so sweet.
You're really going to like him.
I'm sure I will.
You've been through a rough time,
but I knew you'd land on your feet.
Thank you.
Now we got to get Carol
to land on them big flippers of hers.
I can hear you, Daddy.
I know.
My goodwill's come to an end.
Let's hit it, Leanne.
Let us know if you need anything.
I'm good. I'm good.
Before you go, your mama put aside
some dishes for you to take.
My gosh.
Grandma Loretta's bunny china. Thank you.
We don't want to wait till we're worm food
to give out family heirlooms.
What about me? I love the bunny dishes.
And I was closer
to Grandma Loretta than Leanne.
Leanne has a family.
She has kids and grandkids.
What are you gonna do
with a stack of plates?
That's not the point.
It's that you don't even consider me.
Because she has a family.
- No, because Leanne is your favorite.
- Here we go.
Guys, can we not? It's the Lord's Day.
It's no secret.
She was the cheerleader,
she got good grades.
You taught her to change a tire
so she wouldn't get stranded.
- I taught you.
- No, you did not!
I have had to unbutton my blouse
and flag down strangers my whole life!
You're the one that always said you don't
need AAA if you've got healthy C's.
Really? Et tu, Leanne?
Now you're talking in code around me?
I was just trying to lighten things up.
I don't want you feeling like
I don't think about you, Carol.
Thank you, Daddy.
That's all I was asking for.
Hey, in the garage, in the safe,
I got 3,000 pennies with your name on it.
See? Everyone gets something.
Penny for your thoughts.
All right, little bunnies, you're home.
So are you, Abe Lincoln.
Don't put those dirty things where we eat.
You mean my inheritance?
So sorry.
Okay, we're switching gears.
How about I make us
some of those yummy matcha teas?
Matcha's gross, and you're stupid.
What's your problem?
I'm so sick of being
the black sheep in this family.
Would it kill you to back me up
with Daddy once in a while?
I back you up all the time.
No, you try to diffuse it.
You want everybody to be happy
and nothing to change.
And why would you?
You've got a halo around you.
I'm just sick of you and Daddy
having the same fight all the time.
He's old. Can't you just let it go?
You just did it. You can't even
back me up when we're alone!
You're just looking for a fight.
I'm done. I'm taking a shower.
I'm done, too. I'm gonna pack my stuff
and get back to my life.
Right.
This is when Carol runs away
and moves to Chicago or Houston,
or puts her sleeping bag
in the front yard under a tree,
where all the neighbors
can see how mean we are!
The neighbors were mean, too.
Nobody cared!
You want to go? Go.
I will!
No, you won't even let me
screw them off first, Leanne!
Leanne!
It's my house!
- We need to talk.
- Jeez!
Mrs. Rhodes, are you following me?
No.
But your taillight is out.
Keep rocking your baby
and look straight ahead.
Why are you here?
We have a developing situation.
Word is out. Your Aunt Carol
knows about our special moment.
You were drunk and kissed me.
If that's special, I'd be
in a relationship with my uncle Harry.
We have to get ahead of this.
If she knows, she'll tell your mother
and bing, bang, boom, your wife knows.
Do I have your attention now?
If this gets back to Nora, she'll kill me,
she'll kill you,
and then she'll bring me back to life
just so she could kill me again.
Don't you worry, Ty-Ty.
I will handle this.
I would never forgive myself
if what we did…
You did.
…ruined your life.
I'll be in touch.
Until then, act like nothing happened.
Nothing did happen.
Nothing.
I can't get your contacts out
if you keep blinking.
I'm sorry.
It's not natural to keep your eye open
with something big and pink coming at it.
How have you been
getting these in and out yourself?
I haven't.
Your daddy did it,
then Aunt Carol took over.
And I gave you life, so you're up.
This isn't working. Hold on.
Follow the birdie. Got it.
That was incredible.
It's how they pierced my tongue.
Wait, what?
And there's the other one.
Thank you.
Some point, you're gonna have to learn
how to do this yourself.
I know.
You want to sleep over tonight
and binge-watch Below Deck with me?
You watch that?
Don't judge me.
I've already given up carbs.
Why don't you just call Aunt Carol
and make up with her?
You wouldn't understand.
Right.
I couldn't possibly understand
not being the favorite child.
What does that mean?
Mom, it's okay. I know I've contributed
to that situation, what with my…
Free spirit?
That is so much nicer
than what I was gonna say.
I love you and your brother the same.
Who's gonna get the bunny dishes?
Tyler, of course, because he's got kids.
I rest my case.
I'm a horrible mother.
No, it's given me resilience and grit.
I'm on track
for an awesome second act.
Tyler, on the other hand…
Well…
You'll see.
Oof!
Baking soda,
you should be ashamed of yourself.
- Hello, Carol.
- How'd you know I was here?
Let's not play games.
We both know you've got the upper hand,
and I am here to negotiate.
Do come in.
Lord, what is that smell?
My life.
So this upper hand you speak of,
I'm listening.
In my defense, I was a little tipsy.
Okay.
And it was Leanne's idea
for Tyler to walk me home.
Go on.
But I never meant to kiss Tyler.
It just came out of nowhere.
It sure did.
I don't know how you found out,
but I need you to swear
you won't tell a soul.
Mary.
We both know the upper hand
doesn't work that way.
You missing Mama?
Am I being recorded?
Daddy.
It's a little quiet.
Sure been quiet
around my house without Carol.
Yeah, it was only a matter of time
before she picked a fight and tore off.
I know. It was a doozy.
That's a shame.
You took really good care of her.
Actually, she was taking care of me.
Don't be humble.
I'm not.
I wouldn't have gotten through this mess
with Bill if it hadn't been for her.
She's been carrying me.
Well, it's the least she can do.
You've saved her bacon more than once.
Daddy, I love you.
And this might be difficult to hear,
but you come down on Carol way too hard.
Sure, she's stubborn, reckless, prideful,
kind of like somebody else we know.
Hey, don't talk about your Grandma Loretta
like that. She's dead.
Daddy, you know exactly
who I'm talking about.
Yes.
She's always shown up for this family,
and she's certainly shown up for me
when I needed her the most.
And I probably didn't thank her enough.
In fact, I know I didn't.
Well, I'm in the clear.
I gave her 3,000 pennies.
Thank you for giving me
this opportunity to atone for my sins.
Well, they do say
cleanliness is next to godliness.
Popular misconception.
That's actually not in the Bible
Bop, bop, less preaching, more bleaching.
I'm still smelling it.
Please don't make me do the bathroom.
You know what?
I'm gonna cut you a break
because I like you, kid.
- You do?
- Shut up.
You showed me something.
You are 100 pounds
of elbow grease and gumption.
Ninety-seven.
Look, I promise I will never reveal
you thrust yourself
on my very innocent, very married nephew,
and you keep your ring cam
and your nose out of my sister's business.
Deal. Can I go?
Sure, but keep your phone close.
Good hustle today.
Hello.
Is this a bad time? I could come back.
Well, I was kind of in the middle
of something, but sure, come on in.
Your candles smell nice.
Yeah, it's sandalwood
with hints of chipmunk in the drywall.
Ooh, Dragon House. That looks yummy.
We both know it's yummy, Leanne.
What are you doing here?
I just wanted to see
how you were settling in.
Well, take a look. I'm doing great.
You know what? Maybe this was a bad idea.
Shoot.
Your contacts?
Yeah, I tried to put them in myself,
and I think I did it wrong.
I'm not doing it for you.
It's okay, just give me a minute.
For God's sake, it's like you're
fighting an invisible demon. Come here.
You have to learn
how to do this yourself.
I know.
Wait, you put two in one eye.
See, that's why
I need you to move back in.
Got it. Wait, what?
I came to apologize.
I was wrong for not standing up for you.
You've had to fight your own
battles in this family, and it's not fair.
Especially when you've always had my back.
Thank you for saying that.
I miss you.
And I'm better with you by my side.
Of course you are.
I miss you too.
I understand you want
to live your own life,
but is there any way
you could live it in my house?
I didn't want to leave your house.
I love living there, and I love
that for the first time, you needed me.
I still do.
- No, you don't.
- Are you kidding?
I had to watch Below Deck by myself,
and it made me feel dirty.
So what do you say? You want to come back?
Yeah.
Besides, this place
doesn't even feel like home anymore.
You could turn it into an Airbnb.
Ooh, landlord.
I like the idea of someone
sending me money every month
without having to marry them.
Although the thought
of cleaning up after people.
It's no problem. I got a girl I can call.
Hard little worker.
I'm starting to think
you got the better end of this deal.
Where are we at?
Thirteen dollars and a tooth.
All right.
Time to change a tire.
- … Hi, Daddy.
- Yeah, yeah.
Car's out back on a jack.
I'll walk you through the first lug nut,
then you're on your own.
It's his way of saying, "I love you."
Can't he just say the words?
Take the win.
Carol, get your lazy butt out here.
I'm coming, you old fart!
That's my way of saying,
"I love you" back.