Prison School (2015) s01e09 Episode Script

[groaning, grunts]
Take my hand, Meiko.
I'll help you up.
[MEIKO] Thank you,
Madam President.
Sorry for the commotion.
[HANA]
If you'd like, Meiko,
I can let you
borrow my jean shorts.
Jorts? Hmmm.
No. But your offer is most kind.
Are you sure?
[MEIKO] Yes. Well, I still have
work that needs tending to.
Please excuse me.
DTO. I've seen that somewhere.
[KIYOSHI] Seriously? I doubt
they'd leave that out.
It's top-secret.
I know.
The computer screen!
Last time, when the VP
called me into
the corrections office,
I saw DTO in some email.
Is that right? It might
have intel on their plan.
If that's so, that email
is jsut what we need.
So if we can get into
the corrections office,
log in and grab that data,
we'd have all the proof we'd
need to give to the Chairman.
Show him those
psycho chicks set us up!
That's right! Then he will
repeal our expulsions!
But if they got rid
of the paper copy
of their project plan,
wouldn't they have also
erased the emails?
[JOE] He's right.
They wouldn't be dumb enough
to leave any of
those files behind.
You're right, it couldn't
be that easy.
[GAKUTO] Why so
downtrodden, comrades?
Or are you fellows unaware?
I, myself, am well versed
in computer utilization.
I don't know about
well-versed man
but you are
the smell burst master.
[SHINGO, ANDRE]
[KIYOSHI chuckle]
Your scatological
remarks are growing old!
[ALL gasp]
[GAKUTO] What yours truly
is trying to say, is that
even if the emails were erased,
I know how to restore them!
Restore? Y'mean it?
It's a simple matter
of downloading
the restoration software
from a freeware site.
That being said, breaking
into the corrections office
is a horse
of a different color.
To be blunt, we don't
have enough time left.
Two more weeks and
then they get rid of us.
[BOTH grunt]
You're gonna give up
cause there's no time left?
Don't puss out.
If we're running
out of time,
we can't afford to waste
any more hesitating.
Now, let's go snag
that DTO project data
and show the world
we're mostly innocent!
Indeed. I shall join you
on your path of hope,
brave knight!
Yeah, why the hell not?
Count me in you guys.
Better to go out swinging
than sit back and do nothing.
Let's get out there and
make a miracle happen, bros.
We've got two weeks.
Fourteen days before
the Chairman
declares us expelled.
Our mission is to
track down that data.
And then take our
futures back from them!
After that,
it's wet t-shirt time!
Supper!
--[MEIKO] Count off!
--[KIYOSHI] One!
--[GAKUTO] Two!
--[SHINGO] Three!
--[JOE] Four!
--[ANDRE] Five!
[MEIKO] All right.
Come grab your trays.
[BOYS]
Yes, ma'am!
Pardon me, Ma'am.
It would appear you've
dropped your handkerchief.
[MEIKO]
Hm? What, you mean this?
[gasps]
[KIYOSHI gasps]
[KIYOSHI]
Shingo saw a nipple and
got the shit kicked out of him.
What would those idiots
do to me for seeing this?
They must never find out,
but I can't stop staring.
It's too perfect.
Hers is like a miracle.
Keep cool, man.
That's it!
Whatever it takes.
No way in hell
I'm leaving this school!
She's out of
hearing range, now.
Our rallying cry was cut
halfway through, earlier.
What say we
give it another try?
Sir Kiyoshi, if you
would take it from here.
Hm. I don't care
what happens.
We'll find that data!
We're gonna
take our futures back
from those crazy chicks!
And then we're
totally gonna catch that
[KIYOSHI]
Poontang P.O.V.!
It would seem your
thoughts are not in harmony
with the rest of ours, good sir.
Yeah, I detected something
other than wet t-shirts.
[coughs]
Yeah, me too.
No, look, I'm just
focusing on our mission,
and that is it, guys.
[beeping]
Talking about it's one thing,
but the question is "how"?
Whether in this room
or our individual cells,
the door is locked
from the outside,
denying any approach
to the corrections office.
And even if
that were not the case,
it would be ill advised
to gain access
when the Vice
President is inside.
We're only allowed
in the hallways for class,
meal breaks, cleaning duty,
and when heading outside
to perform manual labor.
And later in the evening
when we have shower time.
None of those options
give us the time we'd need.
Plus the Vice President's
always somewhere nearby.
[MEIKO] Work detail
is finished, as of today.
After school, you're to
remain inside the prison,
where you can make use
of your time by studying!
[door clangs]
[KIYOSHI] I'm gonna
go ahead and assume
going outside the barricade
is off-limits now.
And they've kicked us out
during our lunch break,
which means one less shot
at getting in that office.
If we were still
doing work detail,
we might've been able to
sneak a saw back in with us.
No way. Cutting through
iron bars that thick
is totally out
of the question.
[GAKUTO sighs]
Perhaps there's a nook
where one could abscond.
No luck there.
When we're out in the hall
the Vice President
is either standing there
keeping an eye on us,
or she's off waiting
in the corrections office.
[JOE]
So, I was always curious.
What does she
get up to in there?
Well, um. She usually eats
good food or exercises.
[JOE] What about when she's not
here workin' at the prison?
[SHINGO] She's in a class
or her bedroom.
But either way, our asses
are stuck behind bars.
Ugh. I don't think getting
in there's even possible.
Shh!
The Discipline Committee
meeting has just
come to a close.
They decided that expulsion
was the only
appropriate response.
Once we have the
Chairman's official seal,
your time here will be over.
Thought you'd like to know.
[JOE] I guess
that's all she wrote.
Not that it's any surprise.
[SHINGO] Damn it!
We're running outta time!
[KIYOSHI] We've gotta find a way
to get a shot at that office!
[GAKUTO]
Hmmm.
There is yet a chance.
All we have to do
is take the key ring
from the Vice President.
[KIYOSHI, JOE, SHINGO gasp]
You mean by force?
That's impossible.
I don't think any of us
would stand the slightest chance
against the Vice President.
And even if all
five of us jumped her,
that's still not
a guarantee that we'd win.
It's way too risky to try!
[GAKUTO] Yes, the Vice
President's strength and skill
are on par with
some sort of demon-gorilla.
So? What do we do about it?
[GAKUTO chuckles]
Elementary, my dear Kiyoshi.
We simply turn
that strength against her.
[BOYS cheering]
Andre wins!
Aah! That's four in a row!
Andre is too strong
to be beat!
Those idiots are
about to get kicked out
and yet they
don't even seem to care.
[KIYOSHI] I present Hachimitsu
High's strongest contender!
--[ANDRE] Hm-hmm!
--[SHINGO] Hold on.
Calling him strongest in
school's going a bit too far.
Huh?
My man Andre's
a powerhouse.
Ain't no one stronger'n him!
Sure there is.
Like the Vice President.
The might of the Vice
President is unparalleled,
I assure you.
Come on! She may be tough,
but she's still a girl.
I bet Andre could take her.
[JOE]
Guess you're right.
I answer the challenge.
You really think that walking
sebaceous gland can defeat me?
No, ma'am.
I would never say that.
So. You think
you can beat Andre?
Arm wrestling?
[MEIKO] If I didn't think
I could win,
I wouldn't be doing this.
Bring it on, pork loaf.
Before you arm wrestle
with Andre,
allow yours truly
to take you on!
[MEIKO] Really?
You honestly think
you stand a chance against me?
Indeed, I do.
Though I'm painfully aware
of your power,
Madam Vice President,
my body has been tempered in the
forge of daily prison labor.
Before you test
the might of Sir Andre.
Allow me the honor of
being your first opponent!
Wow. You're always
full of surprises,
aren't you Brown Thunder?
I accept. I'll count
you as a warm up!
Just try not to shit yourself!
Everything has proceeded
perfectly, so far.
When you say "turn her
strength against her,"
I assume you've got some plan?
Naturally, the Vice
President seems to be
rather obsessive about her
exceptional physical prowess.
Right. Like how
she's always doin'
push-ups and squat thrusts?
[GAKUTO] Yes! Which is precisely
how we will entice her
into an arm wrestling
contest against us!
Sun Tzu said, "Use the
normal force to engage,
and the extraordinary
to win." So shall we.
I don't think a
sun zoo is a good idea.
Putting animals on a ball of
fire doesn't sound very smart.
[JOE] Mister Son
the telecomm tycoon!
[SHINGO]
Duh.
You wanna boil that down
to a simpler concept?
We steal the keys from
the Vice President's uniform
during the arm wrestling match.
While everyone else
distracts her,
I use the keys to gain entry
to the corrections office.
Once there, I've the know-how
to extract the desired data.
That is brilliant!
While we're hitting her head-on,
you're off
taking care of business
behind her enticingly
arched back!
It is the tactic of Sun Tzu,
great military
strategist of yore!
Not some
telecommunications mogul.
[ANDRE, SHINGO]
Oooh.
So, how exactly do we
get the keys away from her?
That part is
mere child's play.
We steal the
Vice President's keys by
being gentlemen and
offering to take her jacket
before the arm
wrestling even begins!
Sir Kiyoshi. You really
shouldn't be so rude! Now.
[KIYOSHI]
What? Oh, my bad.
Madam Vice President.
Shall I hold your jacket
while you compete?
I'm perfectly
fine like this.
Yeah okay, but
you'd probably have
an easier time without it.
[GAKUTO] Yes, most astute!
I said no.
Now let's get started.
[SHINGO]
That crap-spraying nerdlinger!
[ANDRE]
Mere child's play, he said.
[JOE]
It's totally falling apart!
[KIYOSHI] I guess we're gonna
just have to adapt our plan.
[KIYOSHI]
Okay then. Ready?
Go!
[GAKUTO yells]
I'm not even
going to count that.
Outta the way, crybaby.
Zounds!
[MEIKO]
Hey, Andre. Let's roll.
Excuse me, ma'am,
but I'd like a turn
before you go for Andre.
I have more backbone
than Gakuto. No offense, man.
[MEIKO] I'll take you on.
Why the hell not?
[GAKUTO] Excellent.
Are both competitors ready?
All right. Begin!
[KIYOSHI grunts]
[MEIKO] You're definitely
better than Filthy Four-Eyes.
But not much.
What's the matter?
That all you got?
I'm going to end this.
[yells]
[KIYOSHI, MEIKO gasp]
[KIYOSHI] Her nipple! Areola!
Top-mounted joy-buzzer!
[MEIKO]
Uh.
Madam Vice President,
do you require assistance?
What's up with this
piece of shit table?
[GAKUTO] We'll go fetch
a replacement table
right away, madam!
All right.
So, who's up next?
You, Shingo?
Now hold on a sec!
Our match isn't over
just 'cause the table broke.
That's Ridiculous!
I wiped the floor
with you, hands down!
[KIYOSHI] No! Even when
the table collapsed,
my knuckles never touched it!
[MEIKO] It'll end the same.
You know you can't beat me.
[GAKUTO] Keep up
the pressure, Sir Kiyoshi!
Buy as much time
as you possibly can!
So let's assume
you make it to the office.
No doubt they've
deleted the DTO files.
You know a way
to recover the data?
Is that right?
Mhmm. It may appear
to have been erased.
But it still exists,
somewhere deep down
in the darkest bowels of
the computer's hard drive.
If I can just download
the restoration software,
it's really quite simple.
Well it may seem
simple to you,
but I wouldn't even know where
to start with all of that.
Me either.
And I bet Shingo and
Kiyoshi would say the same.
The job can only be
accomplished by yours truly.
And though it is
a simple task,
it is one that will
require time to complete.
That's why you must
utilize the arm wresting
to distract the Vice President
for as long as you can.
Cool. So how long
do the four of us have
to keep her distracted?
[GAKUTO] Hm. I'll need ten
minutes at the very least.
Ten minutes.
That breaks down to two
and a half minutes per man.
Which isn't gonna be
easy against someone
as tough as the Vice President.
But what other
choice have we got?
[KIYOSHI grunts]
The match was inconclusive.
Please let me try again!
You don't give up, huh?
Okay, fine. A rematch
for the whiner. Let's go!
[KIYOSHI]
Thank you very much, ma'am!
[KIYOSHI] All right! Now it's
just a race against time!
I'm gonna tie her up
for as long as I can.
I don't even care
if I break my arm doing it!
[SHINGO] Kiyoshi sure
is full on amped up!
[JOE] He's so psyched
we might not get a turn!
[ANDRE]
He could pull this off!
[SHINGO]
Ready. Go!
[grunting]
Hey boy, what's wrong?
I'm only using thirty percent
of my strength here,
and you're not looking good.
[JOE, ANDRE gasp]
She's only giving
thirty percent?
[MEIKO] I'm starting to
get bored with this.
How about I finish you off
by cranking things up
to forty percent?
[yells]
C'mon, man! Hang on!
[MEIKO]
Getting close now.
[KIYOSHI] No way! I'm not
throwing in the towel yet!
[KIYOSHI] Everything is
riding on this!
Even if my arm snaps
in freakin' half.
I can't afford to lose yet--
Hello! Nipple.
It's gone.
Now it's back again!
And it's gone.
What are you doing?
Do you mock me?
When you appear,
you vanish,
when you vanish,
I still see you.
[sighs]
Am I enlightened?
Have I been transported
to some kind of
inter-dimensional Nipple-vana?
[SHINGO]
Kiyoshi. Kiyoshi! Kiyoshi!
[KIYOSHI]
Huh?
So, uh. Your arm.
It's gotta hurt, right?
Dammit! I lost the match?
Wait a second,
when did that happen?
Whatdaya mean
"When'd it happen"?
You didn't last one minute.
[KIYOSHI]
You're kidding! She beat me!
Maybe that nip-slip
was part of her strategy
from the beginning.
Was it the same for
that coochie flash earlier?
No, that was something else.
I doubt even the Vice President
would plan something like that.
I don't care if my
arm got all jacked up
in the process.
I can't believe
I didn't last a minute!
Curse you, evil nipple!
[GAKUTO]
Data restoration software.
Found it! Here goes nothing.
The shirt's off!
Lemme get a little stretch and
then I'll be next challenger.
[SHINGO]
Watch and learn, Kiyoshi.
You can't expect
to buy much time
by fighting fair against her.
I really hope you're
stronger than you look, Shingo,
'cause I'm bored.
Careful You don't
take me seriously,
and you're bound to get hurt.
After all, I didn't
earn the nickname
"Dynamite Arm Wrestler Shingo"
by taking it easy
on my opponents!
[SHINGO] It was the summer after
my second year of middle school.
I was sitting on these
giant pipes in an empty lot,
surrounded by
some shady characters
who wanted to start some beef.
And I was like, "You wanna
rumble, you Jive-turkeys?"
[MEIKO]
I don't care.
Let's do this already!
Hey, hang on a minute!
I haven't gotten to the part
in my back-story where
I earn the cool nickname yet!
--[MEIKO] Start us off!
--[KIYOSHI] Yes ma'am!
Wait. No!
Ready. Go!
[SHINGO]
Ah-ha!
What's going on, man?
I don't think
you even cleared
a full second!
[SHINGO] I thought I'd
be able to buy more time
with manly stories from my past.
Okay, warm-up round's
done! Andre, come on.
Can't look like a coward
in front of the others,
Madam Vice President.
If you know
what's good for you,
then you'd better just
back off now.
[JOE]
Afraid I can't.
Instead, I'll have to
warn you as you've warned me.
[MEIKO gasps]
[MEIKO] After all the manual
labor you scab-pickers
have had to do, how can you
be so disturbingly scrawny?
[JOE] Judge me by my looks,
do you? Hm? Big mistake.
[GAKUTO] What kind of
modem is this, dial-up?
It's barely trickling through!
[KIYOSHI]
Ready
Go!
[coughs]
Tell me, does beating
a poor weakling like me
leave a bad taste
in your mouth?
[MEIKO]
Now that you mention it.
It's finally finished
downloading.
Now to install the program.
Well Looks like it's
down to you and me, chunky.
Are you ready?
I look forward to
wrestling with you.
[KIYOSHI]
Seven more minutes?
I'm sorry, Andre. The rest
of us were total pussies.
[MEIKO gasps]
[MEIKO] His nipple
has got a hair.
[KIYOSHI]
Is something wrong, ma'am?
[MEIKO gasps]
I'm ready if you are.
[MEIKO]
Yeah.
[MEIKO] A hair growing
from his nipple.
And what's worse,
it's so freakishly long!
--[KIYOSHI] Ready
--[MEIKO gasps]
--[KIYOSHI] Go!
--[ANDRE] Mommy!
Yeah! You got her
on the ropes!
Finish her!
[KIYOSHI]
No, not yet!
We've still gotta buy Gakuto
another seven minutes.
Even if you can beat her, it's
way too soon to finish, Andre!
[MEIKO] How could I
have been so careless?
I let myself be distracted by
Double-Stuff's nipple hair!
[MEIKO grunts]
[ANDRE groans]
[MEIKO] What's the matter,
Tons of Fun?
You're a couple steps up
from the others, sure,
but is that all you've got?
I'm going to put
an end to this right now!
[ANDRE grunts]
[MEIKO]
The nipple hair is moving!
That nasty thing
is swaying side to side
from this heifer's snorting!
The way his breath
makes it swing.
It's almost like
a single, inexplicable tree
standing alone in the desert,
waving in the breeze.
It invokes a strong sensation.
Equal parts mesmerizing
and confusing.
[SHINGO]
Oh yeah!
[SHINGO] He's still got some
fight in him! Go Andre!
[JOE] Don't worry us
like that, Chubs!
[MEIKO] What's wrong
with me? That hair!
[KIYOSHI]
From where I'm standing,
they look pretty much
evenly matched!
At this rate, he might
hold out for all seven.
No, all six minutes left!
Don't give up, Andre!
[MEIKO] Damn it! Every time
I start to make progress
and move his arm.
I see that hair and
my strength starts to fade.
That's a dirty trick, fatso!
[ANDRE] The Vice President's
calling me names
and spitting on me?! Ahhh!
Hey, what gives, Andre?
Is it the insults? Quick!
Think of whatever's
not sexy to you!
[gasps]
[SHINGO]
Oh! Andre with the comeback!
[KIYOSHI]
What the--?
That wasn't Andre
making a comeback.
That was the Vice President
getting weaker!
She's acting
stranger than normal.
[MEIKO] If I move his arm
past a certain point,
the nipple hair pops into view.
What do I do? That's it!
If I can win the match
with overwhelming speed,
then I've beaten him before
the sight of the hair
even has a chance to register!
The kid gloves
are off now, Meatball.
I'm cranking things up to one
hundred percent strength!
[KIYOSHI] Not yet!
It's too soon for him to lose!
[ANDRE grunts]
[MEIKO gasps]
It's a twister!
But that majestic,
lonely tree can
withstand anything that
this fierce desert
tornado tries to deliver!
[MEIKO] Stay strong! You can
take it, nameless tree!
[SHINGO] Way to go Andre,
that's what's up!
[MEIKO gasps]
Stop scaring me like that!
[KIYOSHI]
All right! I dunno why,
but the Vice President
keeps getting weaker.
Now just draw it out
until Gakuto gets back!
[MEIKO] Stop growing
hypnotizing hairs!
Restoration software's
been installed.
And with
only four minutes left!
Awesome, bro! You might
actually win this!
Yeah! Kick ass, Tubbo!
[MEIKO]
No matter what I do,
that hair won't
stop taunting me.
Why is there even a hair
growing out of his nipple?
And just one!
From his right nipple!
I'm through
messing around, chunk!
[ANDRE moans]
That feels so amazing.
If she keeps rewarding me,
I'll lose it!
Andre! You gotta calm down.
Just stay focused, okay?
Stupid pig! Are you
getting off on this?
[MEIKO] This is
starting to piss me off.
And why does he
look like such an idiot?
His eyes are rolling back,
like he's mocking me.
[gasps]
His eyes!
What is this?
Something's changed!
She's blushing
and smiling now!
[MEIKO] Why am I only now
realizing something
so overwhelmingly simple?
I'm embarrassed
it took this long!
[KIYOSHI] Oh man. I've got
a bad feeling about this.
[MEIKO] If I don't want to be
distracted by the rogue hair,
I just have to not look at it!
What the hell? Why has
the Vice President
closed her eyes?
What's she got planned now?
You don't think she's waiting
for Andre to try for first base?
[yells]
I'm not going to
make it in time!
[MEIKO grunts]
[ANDRE groans]
[SHINGO]
Andre! Tough it out!
[KIYOSHI] Oh no! We've still
got two more minutes!
If Andre loses this now,
then Gakuto is toast!
[GAKUTO]
Where is it?
DTO email, if you can
hear me, show yourself!
And now. You lose!
[ANDRE]
No. Too much.
[moans]
[MEIKO laughs]
That's it, bitches!
Proof that I'm the
school's strongest mofo!
[KIYOSHI] You're kidding.
One minute short?
[MEIKO] Hm! You couldn't
beat me in a hundred years.
[gasps]
My keys. They're gone.
[MEIKO]
Hm.
Madam Vice President.
Your keys are here.
You must have dropped
them when you fell.
[MEIKO] Give them back
before you soil them.
And you, sweat pig. Stand up.
[ANDRE]
Right!
[whimpers]
Hm!
[cell door clangs]
[ANDRE, SHINGO, JOE sigh]
Man, I thought
we were caught for sure!
Way too close,
if you ask me!
Back in perfect timing bro!
Nice going, Andre!
You were awesome!
Nah. I was just at
the height of ecstasy.
[JOE] You were about to make
yogurt at the end there!
[KIYOSHI]
So, where's this data?
[GAKUTO]
Mm! The data
It was unattainable, I fear.
[BOYS]
Huh?
I'd gotten as far
as downloading
and installing
the restoration software.
But before it could
track down the email.
I heard Sir Andre crying out,
and thus I hastened
to return before
being discovered.
So that means
we have nothing?
[KIYOSHI] We're going
to get expelled,
and there's
nothing left to do?
[JOE coughs]
[SHINGO] You know what?
It's actually kind of a relief.
Besides, we did
everything we could.
Uh-huh.
I guess.
Looking back at things now,
this time has been like
a dream come true for me.
[GAKUTO] Really? It's been
a nightmare for yours truly.
Soiling my pants in front
of all those cute girls,
having my hair cut, and the
loss of my Guan Yu figure.
It's all been rather ghastly.
However, fighting through
all the hardships
since we were put in here,
for the first time
in my life, it feels like--
like yours truly
has found friends.
It has been a privilege
to call you gentlemen
my comrades.
Dumbass nerd.
We were all thinking it.
But that doesn't mean
you have to say it out loud.
Brown Thunder.
[KIYOSHI, GAKUTO,
SHINGO sniffle]
[ANDRE sobbing softly]
[KIYOSHI] Our high school lives
were coming to an end.
Or so we thought.
[KIYOSHI] Next time
on Prison School:
"It's a Bum-derful Life."