Twins (2005) s01e09 Episode Script
I Love You, You're Fired
Okay, everybody. Listen up.
On Thursday night, when | those trucks get here,
our shipment has got to be ready, | okay?
Mya, I want you in | charge of parking permits.
Tobey, you're in charge | of traffic control.
And Jorge, you have the | most important job of all.
Get 300 donuts and two | dozen copies of Playboy.
Remember, we're dealing | with Teamsters here.
Okay, everyone, now let's get going!
Wow, considering we're | loading a bunch of underwear
onto a truck, that was really inspiring.
Farrah, this is our core shipment. | It's a quarter of our business.
Everything has got to be perfect.
Okay, I get it. So what | do you want me to do?
Uh, you already have a pretty full plate
with your new duties as | Office Safety Marshall.
Yeah, about Office Safety Marshall.
I'm starting to think | that's a made-up job.
Guess what!
Jordan's on his way | up here to ask you out.
Oh, my God!
How do you know?
He just asked me if | you like Spanish food.
Oh, my God!
- Maybe he's just making conversation. | - Here's the clincher.
When I told him you did like Spanish | food, he gave me one of these.
Mitchee, you've been | waiting so long for this.
Quick, do something with your hair. | It looks awful.
What am I supposed to do?
- Neil, how much time do I have? | - He'll be here any second.
Wow, I love what you've | done with your hair!
Okay, you guys, stop. | You're making me nervous.
Let's not make a big deal about this.
Does my face look shiny? | It's shiny, isn't it?
'Cause it feels shiny.
Oh, I'm sorry. Is this a bad time?
No, we were just leaving.
Oh, and Mitchee, to | answer your question,
the answer is yes, | like a brand-new penny.
Hi.
Hey! Hey.
- Hi. | - Hi.
So, I wanted to ask you something, | but it's kind of awkward.
More awkward than our | game of hey-hi ping pong?
Well, what makes this awkward | is that you're my boss.
Okay, well, I promise | it won't be awkward.
Okay, well, do you think that | Thursday night you could--
I'd love to!
You'd love to what?
I'dlove to answer your question. | Continue.
Well, do you think you could possibly | let me out by 7:00? I have date.
Uh, sure, yeah. | No problem.
- Have a good time. | - Thanks.
Oh, and on Thursday night, | would you like to be my date?
Really?
Yeah.
- Yeah, I'd love to be your date. | - That's great.
And I already talked my boss | into letting me out early,
so that should be no problem.
Ping!
Twins Season 1 Episode 9 | I Love You, You're Fired
Can I get you anything, Lee?
No thanks, Dolly. I'm good. | I have my magazine.
On second thought, I'd kind | of like to have a tuna fish
sandwich.
Thank you.
Anything else?
No, that's good. | Just the sandwich.
Actually, I'd sort of like | to have a cup of coffee.
Thank you, Dolly. | Where would I be without you?
I'd say hungry, thirsty, | and looking for your glasses.
My glasses, hey. | Where are my gla--
Thank you.
God, no wonder Kate Hudson | looks so bad. That's David Spade.
Dolly?
We have to talk.
Alan, are you having a growth spurt?
Do you know what happens when | you put a linen suit in the dryer?
You get really angry | and turn into The Incredible Hulk?
Lee
I'm sorry, you're right. | It's not funny at all.
It'svery, very serious.
Thank you.
How could I possibly wear | this suit out of the house?
Maybe if you hold a giant | lollipop, no one'll notice.
Why didn't you send it | out to be drycleaned?
Well, I guess you put it | in your laundry hamper.
And you didn't bother to notice?
When I'm doing your laundry,
I try to keep looking, touching, | and smelling to a minimum.
This is an expensive suit, | and now it is ruined.
Well, don't throw it out.
My nephew can wear it to | his kindergarten graduation.
Dolly, I do not enjoy being | the butt of your jokes.
Okay, you're done.
How is it?
Amazing, you look like you could totally | be hanging out with me and my friends.
Mitchee, the trucks aren't here yet,
and the loading dock is filling | up with boxes of underwear.
Damn it!
Yes, we literally have | our panties in a bunch.
Great, now I can't go on my date.
No, this is too important to you. | Just go. I'll take care of the trucks.
Farrah, look, I appreciate the offer,
but you don't know how to oversee | a shipment of this magnitude.
I watch them load the trucks, | and then I sign my name on a clipboard.
Okay, you do know how to oversee | a shipment of this magnitude.
Okay, just go, have an awesome time.
Okay. Thank you so much. | I really appreciate it.
Do I need any last-minute adjustments?
Uh
Go!
Do you know what I | just found Dolly doing?
Scrubbing the grout in our shower.
- So? | - With my toothbrush.
Eww!
I know.
You mean she put your mouth | germs where I put my feet?
She has to go. | She isn't competent.
She's unapologetic, and | she's a terrible cleaner.
In her defense, she did finally get | that red wine stain out of the rug.
She put that red wine stain in the rug.
I'm going to fire her.
- Okay. | - I'm serious.
I believe you.
- You don't think I can do it, do you? | - No.
You've never been able to fire | anybody in your whole life.
- I most certainly have. | - Who?
That newspaper boy who kept | throwing the papers on the roof.
Alan, you didn't fire him. | He went off to college.
Yes, well, no thanks to me.
That letter of recommendation | I wrote him was lukewarm.
I've gotta get home.
Dolly, wait. | There's something I have to tell you.
Make it quick. | It's Teen Week on Jeopardy.
Well?
There's been an accident on the | freeway. Take surface streets.
Thank you, Alan.
You saved me the trouble | of turning on my AM radio.
I wanna fire her, | not make her miss Jeopardy.
I just wanna jump your bones.
Really?
Yeah, that's exactly what Ryerson said | when he discovered panoplasaurus.
I didn't know Ryerson | had such a sense of humor.
Well, he is a paleontologist. | So you know he's funny.
So what are we gonna do here?
Ah, let's see.
You think the garlic | shrimp has garlic in it?
I'm guessing yes.
Why do you ask?
Well, I'm thinking I might | want to kiss someone later.
Well, maybe if you kiss that person now,
then later you can have all | the garlic shrimp you want.
Good point. | I'll be right back.
Yeah, that bit gets funnier every time.
Well, I am gonna order | the garlic shrimp, so
Oh, crap.
I'm sorry, it's the office. | I have to take it.
Hello?
I am so, so sorry to | interrupt the big date.
But I had to.
It's fine. What's going on?
You sound distracted.
Oh, God, is this one of | those Paris Hilton moments
where you're talking on the | phone while he's doing you?
Ew. | That's disgusting.
Are you talking to me or him?
Stop it!
Me?
Yes, you, Neil, on the | phone. What's going on?
There was a major screw-up | with the Corigan's order.
Oh, my God. I knew I couldn't | trust Farrah with that.
Actually, Farrah was on top of it. | The delivery went fine.
But after everyone left, I got a call that | there was a problem with the packaging.
What problem?
Well, you know how the slogan | on our underwear packages reads,
- "Makes a woman come alive"? | - Yeah.
They left out the word "alive."
Oh, no. Oh, my God.
That-- I mean, that's a | disaster. That's horrible.
It's also false advertising.
Unless there's something | about them I don't know.
Okay, look.
Whatever you do, do not tell my father.
don't tell you I already | told your father. Check.
God, what did he say?
He said this is the biggest | marketing screw-up we've ever had.
And it's gonna cost us a quarter | of our business for the year.
And he wants you to fire | whoever's responsible.
Well, marketing
Oh, my God.
I have to fire Jordan.
I'm so, so sorry, Mitchee. | But look on the bright side.
This would be even more awkward | if he was doing you right now.
Sodish!
Tell me everything. | How was the big date?
- Well, it was great, | - Yay!
But it couldn't have gone that great,
'cause you're not wearing the | same cloes from last night.
Oh, my God. | Those are his clothes.
You slept with him.
No, I didn't. | These are my clothes.
Even the shoes?
- Yeah, even the shoes. | - Right on.
So
Did you give Jordan think | pink slip last night?
No, I didn't fire him.
Oh, right, that was my next question.
Wait, why would you fire Jordan?
He screwed up the | slogan on our packaging.
And now the biggest shipment | of the year is worthless.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I've been fielding angry calls | from store managers all morning.
They refuse to sell underwear | that makes a woman come alive
minus the "alive."
Why is that
Oh! Oh, my God!
I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm smiling. | This is my company too.
I mean, I really like Jordan. | How am I gonna fire him?
Well, for me, the quickest way to | get rid of a man is to sleep with him.
Andtoo soon.
What am I supposed to do?
So we're just gonna dismiss | Neil's idea without a discussion?
And still too soon.
Mitchee, why is Jordan still here?
I've been thinking about it, Dad, | and maybe he deserves a second chance.
Honey, I understand this is hard.
But there are times when an | employee screws up so badly,
you can't give them a second chance.
Otherwise, you end up | losing your business.
Or walking around in | a doll-sized linen suit
while they taunt you and ask, | "Which way to the Emerald City?"
What are you talking about?
Well, that last part was for me.
But the point is, we both | know what we have to do.
Dolly, uh,
I need to speak with you.
I'm on my break.
Jennifer Garner pushes her own | shopping cart? That is normal.
I'm sorry, I know it's your break. | But there's something
I have to say to you that can't wait.
This better be good.
Good? Uh, uh
Uh, well, it's all in | how you interpret it.
Uhgood?
You're fired.
Good one, Alan.
Teri Hatcher feeds coffee to her dog? | That's not normal.
I'm serious. You're fired.
Well, my break's over.
No, you're not hearing me.
I have had it with your incompetence,
your insubordination, and | your utter disdain for--
Are you dusting with my underwear?
You want clean underwear or a | clean table? You can't have both.
Dolly, stop it! | You're fired.
You're serious?
Yes, I am.
So you're gonna throw away | 12 years, just like that?
Believe me, Dolly, | this isn't easy for me.
12 years of loyalty mean nothing to you?
I'm sorry.
I did it, do do
I did it, do do do do
I did it
My car won't start.
Sure, why would it?
Can you call me a tow truck?
Uh, yes, of course.
Yes, I need a tow truck.
Is it an emergency? | Oh, God, yes.
No, no. | I can't hold, I--
Well, then why | did you ask? I--
Holding.
So Teri Hatcher feeds coffee to her dog?
You wanted to see me?
Yeah, Jordan, come on in.
Wow.
What are those for?
Well, at the restaurant last night,
I feel things got a | little awkward between us.
That's kind of what I | wanted to see you about.
Yeah, and I think I know why.
It's that call you took | from the office, wasn't it?
- Yeah. | - I knew it.
'Cause it interrupted this.
Wow! Uh
That's, uh | That's good stuff!
Do you have plans Saturday night? 'Cause | I don't know if you like Italian food,
but I read about this great | new place on the wharf.
Yeahuh | Here's the thing.
There's really no nice way to say this. | Um
You're fired.
These are lovely.
Wait, wh-why are you firing me?
Here's why.
"Makes a woman"
Uh-oh.
No, n-n-no. I couldn't have done this. | I mean, I can do that,
but I couldn't have done this.
Yeah, I wish you hadn't have done it. | Uh, this.
Mitchee, I don't know what to say.
Th-there's-- there's no excuse. | I- I take full responsibility.
I'm sorry, Jordan.
No, Mitchee, don't feel bad | about this. This is all on me.
You're only doing what you have to do.
I'll go clean out my desk.
Wait.
What?
You know, I do believe | in second chances.
What do you mean?
I mean, everyone makes mistakes.
Look where Farrah had the | fire extinguisher mounted.
Well, what are you saying?
I'm saying you're not fired.
You serious?
Oh, my God. Thank you so much. | I promise you are not gonna regret this.
'Cause I'm gonna be the best director | of marketing this company's ever had.
I'm gonna get right on the phone | and start doing some damage control.
- Oh, and about Saturday night | - Oh, don't worry about that.
Are you sure?
Absolutely. You gave me a second | chance. But if people thought
you only did it because you | and I are, you know, a-a thing,
well, that would completely | compromise your leadership.
And after what you've done for me, | I could never do that to you.
So from now on it'll be | strictly professional between us.
Yeah, thanks for understanding.
No, thank youboss.
I was gonna say I love Italian.
Hello? | Yeah.
Ah, uh, it's just a recording.
But good news. | My call is important to them.
And it will be answered | in the order in which it was received.
You know, Lee should be getting | home from shopping any minute now.
Well, just leave her out of this. | This whole thing was my decision.
No, I mean, you should get started | on her tuna fish sandwich.
She likes to have one | after she's been shopping.
Do you know how to make tuna salad?
Just pop open a can of tuna, right?
Lee likes it better | with diced apples in it.
Thank you.
And be sure to cut off the bread crust. | She hates that crust.
No crust, got it.
And serve it with a cup of coffee. | But don't leave room for the cream.
She likes cream.
But she likes being skinny better.
And do you tell her how | beautiful she is every day?
Some days I get distracted.
Write it down on little notes | and leave them all over the house.
Otherwise, she'll get | sad and won't know why.
I guess I didn't realize how much | you went out of your way for Lee.
What do you think I've been | doing for the past 12 years?
Maybe I wasn't thinking | enough about, uh
how much she needs you.
I was just thinking about | myself and my elf-like suit.
What's your point?
Maybe I acted too hastily. | Would you mind
staying?
I'll think about it.
But of course, you don't expect me | to come back for the same salary.
You want a raise?
You just took me on an | emotional roller coaster ride.
I think I deserve an extra $100 a week.
- Fine. | - Too quick.
Now I want 150.
Okay.
My God, I was just kidding. | Now I want 200.
100's fine.
Hello, family.
Hi, sweetie.
I'll go make your sandwich.
I would have had it ready, | but Alan gave me a serious talking to.
Thanks for the raise.
So I guess you didn't fire her.
Actually, I did. | And then I hired her back.
Of course you did.
Who you talking to?
I'm holding for a tow truck. | Dolly's car won't start.
Honey Dolly takes the bus.
On Thursday night, when | those trucks get here,
our shipment has got to be ready, | okay?
Mya, I want you in | charge of parking permits.
Tobey, you're in charge | of traffic control.
And Jorge, you have the | most important job of all.
Get 300 donuts and two | dozen copies of Playboy.
Remember, we're dealing | with Teamsters here.
Okay, everyone, now let's get going!
Wow, considering we're | loading a bunch of underwear
onto a truck, that was really inspiring.
Farrah, this is our core shipment. | It's a quarter of our business.
Everything has got to be perfect.
Okay, I get it. So what | do you want me to do?
Uh, you already have a pretty full plate
with your new duties as | Office Safety Marshall.
Yeah, about Office Safety Marshall.
I'm starting to think | that's a made-up job.
Guess what!
Jordan's on his way | up here to ask you out.
Oh, my God!
How do you know?
He just asked me if | you like Spanish food.
Oh, my God!
- Maybe he's just making conversation. | - Here's the clincher.
When I told him you did like Spanish | food, he gave me one of these.
Mitchee, you've been | waiting so long for this.
Quick, do something with your hair. | It looks awful.
What am I supposed to do?
- Neil, how much time do I have? | - He'll be here any second.
Wow, I love what you've | done with your hair!
Okay, you guys, stop. | You're making me nervous.
Let's not make a big deal about this.
Does my face look shiny? | It's shiny, isn't it?
'Cause it feels shiny.
Oh, I'm sorry. Is this a bad time?
No, we were just leaving.
Oh, and Mitchee, to | answer your question,
the answer is yes, | like a brand-new penny.
Hi.
Hey! Hey.
- Hi. | - Hi.
So, I wanted to ask you something, | but it's kind of awkward.
More awkward than our | game of hey-hi ping pong?
Well, what makes this awkward | is that you're my boss.
Okay, well, I promise | it won't be awkward.
Okay, well, do you think that | Thursday night you could--
I'd love to!
You'd love to what?
I'dlove to answer your question. | Continue.
Well, do you think you could possibly | let me out by 7:00? I have date.
Uh, sure, yeah. | No problem.
- Have a good time. | - Thanks.
Oh, and on Thursday night, | would you like to be my date?
Really?
Yeah.
- Yeah, I'd love to be your date. | - That's great.
And I already talked my boss | into letting me out early,
so that should be no problem.
Ping!
Twins Season 1 Episode 9 | I Love You, You're Fired
Can I get you anything, Lee?
No thanks, Dolly. I'm good. | I have my magazine.
On second thought, I'd kind | of like to have a tuna fish
sandwich.
Thank you.
Anything else?
No, that's good. | Just the sandwich.
Actually, I'd sort of like | to have a cup of coffee.
Thank you, Dolly. | Where would I be without you?
I'd say hungry, thirsty, | and looking for your glasses.
My glasses, hey. | Where are my gla--
Thank you.
God, no wonder Kate Hudson | looks so bad. That's David Spade.
Dolly?
We have to talk.
Alan, are you having a growth spurt?
Do you know what happens when | you put a linen suit in the dryer?
You get really angry | and turn into The Incredible Hulk?
Lee
I'm sorry, you're right. | It's not funny at all.
It'svery, very serious.
Thank you.
How could I possibly wear | this suit out of the house?
Maybe if you hold a giant | lollipop, no one'll notice.
Why didn't you send it | out to be drycleaned?
Well, I guess you put it | in your laundry hamper.
And you didn't bother to notice?
When I'm doing your laundry,
I try to keep looking, touching, | and smelling to a minimum.
This is an expensive suit, | and now it is ruined.
Well, don't throw it out.
My nephew can wear it to | his kindergarten graduation.
Dolly, I do not enjoy being | the butt of your jokes.
Okay, you're done.
How is it?
Amazing, you look like you could totally | be hanging out with me and my friends.
Mitchee, the trucks aren't here yet,
and the loading dock is filling | up with boxes of underwear.
Damn it!
Yes, we literally have | our panties in a bunch.
Great, now I can't go on my date.
No, this is too important to you. | Just go. I'll take care of the trucks.
Farrah, look, I appreciate the offer,
but you don't know how to oversee | a shipment of this magnitude.
I watch them load the trucks, | and then I sign my name on a clipboard.
Okay, you do know how to oversee | a shipment of this magnitude.
Okay, just go, have an awesome time.
Okay. Thank you so much. | I really appreciate it.
Do I need any last-minute adjustments?
Uh
Go!
Do you know what I | just found Dolly doing?
Scrubbing the grout in our shower.
- So? | - With my toothbrush.
Eww!
I know.
You mean she put your mouth | germs where I put my feet?
She has to go. | She isn't competent.
She's unapologetic, and | she's a terrible cleaner.
In her defense, she did finally get | that red wine stain out of the rug.
She put that red wine stain in the rug.
I'm going to fire her.
- Okay. | - I'm serious.
I believe you.
- You don't think I can do it, do you? | - No.
You've never been able to fire | anybody in your whole life.
- I most certainly have. | - Who?
That newspaper boy who kept | throwing the papers on the roof.
Alan, you didn't fire him. | He went off to college.
Yes, well, no thanks to me.
That letter of recommendation | I wrote him was lukewarm.
I've gotta get home.
Dolly, wait. | There's something I have to tell you.
Make it quick. | It's Teen Week on Jeopardy.
Well?
There's been an accident on the | freeway. Take surface streets.
Thank you, Alan.
You saved me the trouble | of turning on my AM radio.
I wanna fire her, | not make her miss Jeopardy.
I just wanna jump your bones.
Really?
Yeah, that's exactly what Ryerson said | when he discovered panoplasaurus.
I didn't know Ryerson | had such a sense of humor.
Well, he is a paleontologist. | So you know he's funny.
So what are we gonna do here?
Ah, let's see.
You think the garlic | shrimp has garlic in it?
I'm guessing yes.
Why do you ask?
Well, I'm thinking I might | want to kiss someone later.
Well, maybe if you kiss that person now,
then later you can have all | the garlic shrimp you want.
Good point. | I'll be right back.
Yeah, that bit gets funnier every time.
Well, I am gonna order | the garlic shrimp, so
Oh, crap.
I'm sorry, it's the office. | I have to take it.
Hello?
I am so, so sorry to | interrupt the big date.
But I had to.
It's fine. What's going on?
You sound distracted.
Oh, God, is this one of | those Paris Hilton moments
where you're talking on the | phone while he's doing you?
Ew. | That's disgusting.
Are you talking to me or him?
Stop it!
Me?
Yes, you, Neil, on the | phone. What's going on?
There was a major screw-up | with the Corigan's order.
Oh, my God. I knew I couldn't | trust Farrah with that.
Actually, Farrah was on top of it. | The delivery went fine.
But after everyone left, I got a call that | there was a problem with the packaging.
What problem?
Well, you know how the slogan | on our underwear packages reads,
- "Makes a woman come alive"? | - Yeah.
They left out the word "alive."
Oh, no. Oh, my God.
That-- I mean, that's a | disaster. That's horrible.
It's also false advertising.
Unless there's something | about them I don't know.
Okay, look.
Whatever you do, do not tell my father.
don't tell you I already | told your father. Check.
God, what did he say?
He said this is the biggest | marketing screw-up we've ever had.
And it's gonna cost us a quarter | of our business for the year.
And he wants you to fire | whoever's responsible.
Well, marketing
Oh, my God.
I have to fire Jordan.
I'm so, so sorry, Mitchee. | But look on the bright side.
This would be even more awkward | if he was doing you right now.
Sodish!
Tell me everything. | How was the big date?
- Well, it was great, | - Yay!
But it couldn't have gone that great,
'cause you're not wearing the | same cloes from last night.
Oh, my God. | Those are his clothes.
You slept with him.
No, I didn't. | These are my clothes.
Even the shoes?
- Yeah, even the shoes. | - Right on.
So
Did you give Jordan think | pink slip last night?
No, I didn't fire him.
Oh, right, that was my next question.
Wait, why would you fire Jordan?
He screwed up the | slogan on our packaging.
And now the biggest shipment | of the year is worthless.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I've been fielding angry calls | from store managers all morning.
They refuse to sell underwear | that makes a woman come alive
minus the "alive."
Why is that
Oh! Oh, my God!
I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm smiling. | This is my company too.
I mean, I really like Jordan. | How am I gonna fire him?
Well, for me, the quickest way to | get rid of a man is to sleep with him.
Andtoo soon.
What am I supposed to do?
So we're just gonna dismiss | Neil's idea without a discussion?
And still too soon.
Mitchee, why is Jordan still here?
I've been thinking about it, Dad, | and maybe he deserves a second chance.
Honey, I understand this is hard.
But there are times when an | employee screws up so badly,
you can't give them a second chance.
Otherwise, you end up | losing your business.
Or walking around in | a doll-sized linen suit
while they taunt you and ask, | "Which way to the Emerald City?"
What are you talking about?
Well, that last part was for me.
But the point is, we both | know what we have to do.
Dolly, uh,
I need to speak with you.
I'm on my break.
Jennifer Garner pushes her own | shopping cart? That is normal.
I'm sorry, I know it's your break. | But there's something
I have to say to you that can't wait.
This better be good.
Good? Uh, uh
Uh, well, it's all in | how you interpret it.
Uhgood?
You're fired.
Good one, Alan.
Teri Hatcher feeds coffee to her dog? | That's not normal.
I'm serious. You're fired.
Well, my break's over.
No, you're not hearing me.
I have had it with your incompetence,
your insubordination, and | your utter disdain for--
Are you dusting with my underwear?
You want clean underwear or a | clean table? You can't have both.
Dolly, stop it! | You're fired.
You're serious?
Yes, I am.
So you're gonna throw away | 12 years, just like that?
Believe me, Dolly, | this isn't easy for me.
12 years of loyalty mean nothing to you?
I'm sorry.
I did it, do do
I did it, do do do do
I did it
My car won't start.
Sure, why would it?
Can you call me a tow truck?
Uh, yes, of course.
Yes, I need a tow truck.
Is it an emergency? | Oh, God, yes.
No, no. | I can't hold, I--
Well, then why | did you ask? I--
Holding.
So Teri Hatcher feeds coffee to her dog?
You wanted to see me?
Yeah, Jordan, come on in.
Wow.
What are those for?
Well, at the restaurant last night,
I feel things got a | little awkward between us.
That's kind of what I | wanted to see you about.
Yeah, and I think I know why.
It's that call you took | from the office, wasn't it?
- Yeah. | - I knew it.
'Cause it interrupted this.
Wow! Uh
That's, uh | That's good stuff!
Do you have plans Saturday night? 'Cause | I don't know if you like Italian food,
but I read about this great | new place on the wharf.
Yeahuh | Here's the thing.
There's really no nice way to say this. | Um
You're fired.
These are lovely.
Wait, wh-why are you firing me?
Here's why.
"Makes a woman"
Uh-oh.
No, n-n-no. I couldn't have done this. | I mean, I can do that,
but I couldn't have done this.
Yeah, I wish you hadn't have done it. | Uh, this.
Mitchee, I don't know what to say.
Th-there's-- there's no excuse. | I- I take full responsibility.
I'm sorry, Jordan.
No, Mitchee, don't feel bad | about this. This is all on me.
You're only doing what you have to do.
I'll go clean out my desk.
Wait.
What?
You know, I do believe | in second chances.
What do you mean?
I mean, everyone makes mistakes.
Look where Farrah had the | fire extinguisher mounted.
Well, what are you saying?
I'm saying you're not fired.
You serious?
Oh, my God. Thank you so much. | I promise you are not gonna regret this.
'Cause I'm gonna be the best director | of marketing this company's ever had.
I'm gonna get right on the phone | and start doing some damage control.
- Oh, and about Saturday night | - Oh, don't worry about that.
Are you sure?
Absolutely. You gave me a second | chance. But if people thought
you only did it because you | and I are, you know, a-a thing,
well, that would completely | compromise your leadership.
And after what you've done for me, | I could never do that to you.
So from now on it'll be | strictly professional between us.
Yeah, thanks for understanding.
No, thank youboss.
I was gonna say I love Italian.
Hello? | Yeah.
Ah, uh, it's just a recording.
But good news. | My call is important to them.
And it will be answered | in the order in which it was received.
You know, Lee should be getting | home from shopping any minute now.
Well, just leave her out of this. | This whole thing was my decision.
No, I mean, you should get started | on her tuna fish sandwich.
She likes to have one | after she's been shopping.
Do you know how to make tuna salad?
Just pop open a can of tuna, right?
Lee likes it better | with diced apples in it.
Thank you.
And be sure to cut off the bread crust. | She hates that crust.
No crust, got it.
And serve it with a cup of coffee. | But don't leave room for the cream.
She likes cream.
But she likes being skinny better.
And do you tell her how | beautiful she is every day?
Some days I get distracted.
Write it down on little notes | and leave them all over the house.
Otherwise, she'll get | sad and won't know why.
I guess I didn't realize how much | you went out of your way for Lee.
What do you think I've been | doing for the past 12 years?
Maybe I wasn't thinking | enough about, uh
how much she needs you.
I was just thinking about | myself and my elf-like suit.
What's your point?
Maybe I acted too hastily. | Would you mind
staying?
I'll think about it.
But of course, you don't expect me | to come back for the same salary.
You want a raise?
You just took me on an | emotional roller coaster ride.
I think I deserve an extra $100 a week.
- Fine. | - Too quick.
Now I want 150.
Okay.
My God, I was just kidding. | Now I want 200.
100's fine.
Hello, family.
Hi, sweetie.
I'll go make your sandwich.
I would have had it ready, | but Alan gave me a serious talking to.
Thanks for the raise.
So I guess you didn't fire her.
Actually, I did. | And then I hired her back.
Of course you did.
Who you talking to?
I'm holding for a tow truck. | Dolly's car won't start.
Honey Dolly takes the bus.