Happy Days (1974) s01e10 Episode Script

1
One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock rock
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
Put your glad rags on, join me, hon
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes two, three, and four
If the band slows down, we'll yell for more
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the chimes ring five, six, and seven
We'll be right in seventh heaven
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes twelve, we'll cool off then
Start a-rockin' 'round the clock again
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight ♪
Down, down, down, down, down dee doobie
Down, down, down, down, down dee doobie
Sha sha la la ♪
Rich, maybe we can set the world's record
for tying up a booth without ordering.
So how much money did you say you had?
Uhhh 73 cents and, uh, an airmail stamp.
That makes our total assets $1.11.
You know, here we are,
two able-bodied men with no money.
Why? 'Cause we're lazy?
Hey, Ralph! How's it goin'?
Terrific, if you like eating leftovers.
Hey, you guys shouldn't mess the table like that!
What's the matter? You used to do it.
Yeah, well, you look at mess in a different light
when you gotta clean it, so cool it.
If you're gonna spill, spill on your clothes.
That's out of my jurisdiction.
H-Hey, Rich, I got an idea!
Why don't we try to make some money with our combo?
We're not good enough. And
besides, we haven't played in months.
Rich, it's rock 'n' roll. You
don't have to be good, just loud.
We don't even have a piano player
since Jerry Cutler moved away.
Yeah. Ralph plays the piano. Hey, Ralph, come here.
Come on, guys, I'm busy as a one-armed paperhanger.
Hey, Ralph, how'd you like a chance at the big time, huh?
I mean excitement, chicks,
movies, cross-country road tours!
I already got a job.
No. You see, we need a piano player for our group.
Yeah, well I don't want to leave here.
Arnie says I got a future.
In a couple of weeks, I could
work myself up to French fries!
Who knows? Someday chicken in a basket.
I better move before Arnie fires me.
Ralph!!
Ooh!
What time's rehearsal, guys?
Let's go.
Yeah, Potsie! Oh, yeah!
Whoa! Oh, yeah! Hey!
Well, what do you think, Fonz? We can take criticism.
Well, if I was Dick Clark, I'd give you an 83. Really, Fonz?
All right! Terrific!
Yeah, but I ain't Dick Clark,
so for my single self, I'd give you a 43.
What do you think the problem is?
I don't know. I can't put my finger on it.
Eh play. Huh?
The drums play. Oh!
I pass!
Ralphie, smash 'em around.
All right. Richie.
All right. You.
All right, all right, all together now, all right?
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, go!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa!
Boys
it's like ketchup and a, uh, banana split.
I mean, separately all right.
But together whoa.
Oh, hello, Potsie. Come on in.
- That's $550.
- Don't pay him.
Hi, everybody!
Hey, Rich, guess what? I got
the combo a gig at a frat house!
That's terrific! Oh, isn't that wonderful, Howard?
The boys got a job. That's wonderful, Richie.
I'm very happy for you, and I'd be twice as happy
if I could just roll doubles and get out of jail.
Tough luck, Dad.
It wasn't easy, but I got us $11.25 each.
No kiddin'? I'll give you $12 to quit.
Why don't we go tell all the guys?
So long, everybody.
So long, Mr. C. Night, Potsie.
You know, Howard Oh, Howard!
Nobody's dancin'.
Who wants to dance to the same number all night?
Any requests?
Guys, um, what are we gonna do?
We only know one number.
Hey, we'll do "I'm All Shook Up"! That's the number.
And we been playing it all night.
Yeah, only this time, we'll do it with the vocal.
Oh, great.
"I'm All Shook Up" What do you think?
OK, OK, let's get this place hoppin'.
A-one, two, a-one, two, three and
Well, bless my soul, what's wrong with me?
I'm itching like a man on a fuzzy tree
My friends say I'm actin' wild as a bug
I'm in love I'm all shook up
Whoo-ooh-ooh Ooh, hey, hey
Well, my hands are shaky and my knees are weak
I can't seem to stand on my own two feet
Who do you thank when you have such luck
I'm in love I'm all shook up
Whoo-ooh-ooh, Ooh, hey, hey
My tongue gets tied when I try to speak
My inside's shaking like a leaf on a tree
There's only one cure for this body of mine
That's to have that girl that I know is so fine
Well, she touched my hand and what a chill I got
Her lips are like a volcano that's hot
I'm proud to say she's my buttercup
I'm in love I'm all shook up
Whoo-ooh-ooh Ooh, hey, hey
Whoo-ooh-ooh
Ooh, hey, hey I'm all shook up ♪
I don't think we got 'em hoppin'.
Look, why don't you give your feet a
little rest while we take a little break.
They're dancing now.
Of course. We warmed 'em up.
Come on, let's get something to eat, Rich.
We weren't ready for this job. What makes you say that?
Halfway through one of our
numbers, the dog unplugged my guitar.
Hey, Rich, don't look now, but
that chick's giving me the eye.
Come on, Potsie, it's your
imagination. She's a college girl.
So, what's that mean? I can pass for a college guy.
You kiddin'? Yeah, well, just watch my smoke.
Hi, uh, my name's Potsie Webber.
I'm, uh, lead singer and manager of the band,
and, uh, I couldn't help notice you were starin'.
Yes, I was.
Did you know you have a piece of chive on your tooth?
No, I didn't. Uh, excuse me. I gotta get back to my group.
How'd you do? Um, she's going
steady. I didn't want to cut the guy out.
You got a piece of chive on
your tooth. Oh, I know it. I know.
You want some?
We didn't really need all this, you know?
They could've at least applauded when we finished.
Potsie, there was nobody left to applaud.
They all walked out a half hour ago.
But they were walking out with the beat.
Hey, uh, I gotta haul. When do we get paid?
Yeah, let's get the money before they change their minds.
Hey, look. You guys go ahead. I'll get the
money, and we'll divvy it up tomorrow, OK?
Well, I guess that'd be OK. But let Richie hold the money.
You hear that, Richie? Don't let him touch it! See ya, Pots.
Hey, Rich, I gotta talk to ya.
To close the deal, I had to make compromises.
Like what? Like, I'll tell you while we're sweeping up.
Sweeping up?
That wasn't so bad. No.
While you were at it, why didn't
you volunteer to do the windows?
Oh, they wanted us to do the windows, but I said, "No dice.
We play music and sweep floor, but that's it."
You drive a hard bargain. Yeah. Come on.
OK, I'll bet a quarter. I'll see that.
I'll see ya, but
I must be crazy to play cards like this.
Are you kiddin'? I'd bet everything on that!
I fold. I'm out.
See, I told you you'd win!
Yeah. It's not every day I win the ante.
What do you want?
Oh, uh, our money. We finished sweeping the floor.
Oh, yeah. What do I owe you guys, 40 bucks?
Yeah.
You know somethin'?
You got a really good eye for poker. You know that, kid?
Hey, thanks. We play it all the time.
Oh, yeah?
Uh, listen, I happen to be about $4 short here.
But look, I'll tell ya what. Why don't I pay you in chips?
Here, you can sit in a hand or two,
and maybe double your money. What do you say?
Hey, I think I got $4.
Hey, what'd you do that for?
It was an accident. Why don't
you stack your chips or something?
Well, you boys in or out?
No. I-I-I don't think we should play.
You'll have to excuse my friend.
He doesn't even watch Bilko.
What have we got to lose, huh?
I mean, it's only two bucks apiece. It's no big deal!
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt just to play one hand.
Yeah, one hand or two hands. I mean, but
the important thing is to make 'em think
you know all about poker. It's called "bluffing." Come on.
OK, you can deal us in. OK.
Roscoe, you're out, he's in.
Come on, Animal, take Roscoe away. See ya, Roscoe.
Come on, he won enough already.
Sit down, sit down. Here's your money, here's your chips.
Here's your $4 in chips. Let's play poker.
OK, deal 'em and weep.
No, that's "read 'em and weep."
Oh, yeah.
Say, Murf, could I talk to you in private? Sure.
Hey, Animal, why don't you talk to the kids for a while?
Hey, uh, m-maybe you guys, uh, heard of me
Rodney Lane varsity football!
Are you kiddin', gamble with a couple of kids?
It's not gambling. I'm gonna use the marked deck,
and I'm gonna get back every
cent I paid them. That's stealing.
Listen, taking money for the way their band played
That's stealing. Come on.
You guys don't follow sports.
OK, let's play. Hey, we're ready!
You guys sure you know how to play?
Oh, sure, sure. I play cards all the time.
Whenever I used to play in summer
camp, I used to win all the beans.
Right. It's seven-card high-low, Let's play poker.
Ante.
Won all the beans, eh?
Can we go to bed now, huh?
Well, you said you'd help paste
stamps until Richie got home.
Yeah, that was three books ago.
Oh, we just need 800 books
for this television hi-fi console.
How close are we?
Oh, we only need about 768 more.
By the time you save them your
favorite shows will be off the air.
There they are. Hi.
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. C. Richie, Potsie,
we expected you about an hour ago.
Yeah, well, we, uh, hung around and, uh
won $50 in a poker game.
Yeah, yeah, we won $50.
You won $50 in a poker game?
Richard, you know I don't like your playing cards.
You won? Did you hear that, Marion? They won!
I heard. I think you should punish him.
My son won $50 at his first poker game.
Oh, he's a chip off the old block, Marion.
But we sort of lost the last hand, though.
Oh? How much?
Everything, including the money that we earned.
I think you better have a talk with your son, Marion.
Boop boop boop boop Boop boop boop boop
Bee-oop boop bee-oop bee-ah ♪
Now, you mean to tell me that you
won every hand up until the last pot,
and then you lost it all?
A-And just before the last deal,
a card was ripped, so they put in a new deck?
Exactly. It's like you were there.
I was many times.
You guys were taken in by the Hoboken Hustle.
Boy, Rich, are we dumb taken
in by the old Hoboken Hustle.
Richard, you not only lost your money, you lost money
that didn't even belong to you.
Uh, well, I guess you want to have
a father-son talk, so I'll be taking off.
See ya.
Taken in by the old Hoboken hustle.
That's terrible.
Dad, how did you know about this, uh,
Hoboken Hustle thing? Well, you see, Richard
Howard, he doesn't have to know. Know what?
Why not? He's old enough. You see, at one time
Your father was a pretty good poker player.
What do you mean "pretty good"?
They didn't call me "Chips Cunningham" for nothing.
Nobody ever called you "Chips," Howard.
They did so!
OK, if you say so, Howard
I mean, "Chips."
Dad, you mean you were really a good card player?
Marion, bring me a deck of cards.
I'm gonna show you a couple of reasons
why they called me "Chips Cunningham."
Here are the cards, dear. Mm-hmm.
Whoa.
Yeah, haven't lost the old touch.
Watch this one.
Cut the deck, but don't show me your card.
Now, who won?
I don't know.
Does Mr. Candlestick-maker beat old maid?
Marion. You won, dear.
Old maid beats Mr. Candlestick-maker.
Richard, I'm going up and get dressed.
Then you and I are going over to the frat house,
and I'm gonna win your money back
but not with that deck.
OK, I'm in. Oh, yeah.
I'm in. Uh, let me see what Roscoe's got.
All right, Roscoe's in and he, uh, raises you one.
Hey, go answer the door, will ya, ya animal? Aah
O'rourke probably forgot his keys again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hi!
It's the kid we fleeced tonight, and he's with some old guy.
Stall him! Well
Hiya. Hi, again.
Welcome to the Zeta Phi house.
Uh, I'm Lane varsity football.
You mind if we talk to you for a couple minutes?
Well, sure. We ain't doin' nothin'.
Come on in. Thank you.
Yeah, we're gonna talk, guys.
Represents the existentialist, uh
This is little Richie Cunningham.
You remember, from the party tonight?
Oh, yeah, little Richie Cunningham
from the party. He was in the band.
Yeah, and I'm little Richie Cunningham's father.
Ooh, Mr. Cunningham, it's a pleasure
to meet you. What can we do for you?
Well, I'll tell ya, my son Richard,
h-he came home without the money
that you were supposed to give him.
Oh, we, uh, we paid him.
Yeah, but he lost it playing cards.
Oh?
Richard, you didn't tell me that.
Dad, I All right, we'll talk about it later.
Gee, fellas, I-I-I'm terribly sorry.
I-I thought for a minute you pulled a fast one.
But if he lost it playing cards, well, then it's lost.
Yeah, sometimes lady luck just isn't smiling on ya.
Oh, I know exactly what you mean.
I play a little cards myself.
You can't keep me away from bridge night at the church.
Is that right? Yeah.
Well, uh, listen, I guess you'll
be going now, Mr. Cunningham.
I guess you could say that cards are in my blood.
Uh, did you ever play poker?
I taught Richard everything he knows.
No kidding.
Uh, you know what? We were just gonna,
uh, we were just gonna get up a friendly little game here.
Shazzam! Will you look at that?
Cards and chips and everything!
Yeah. Why don't you just have a seat? Well, thank you!
Hey, uh, y-you follow sports? Oh, yeah, sure, sure.
Oh, look. I bent a card.
Oh, ya ruined the deck.
Gee, I hope you've got another deck.
Just happen to have one right here.
Oh, will ya look at that? This
must be my lucky night, huh, Richie?
All right, how about a little
seven-card high-low? Let's play poker.
OK. Ante?
Uh, red one? Yeah.
High-low, let's see
Oh, I-I'm just gonna watch my dad. Watch dad win.
Now, let's see Eight
Ooh! Ten, king, seven.
Dad, I thought the idea was to win the money back.
Patience, Richard.
Brian, what are you doin'? I
thought you were gonna let him win,
and then take him in the big pot.
He should've won every hand. He's worse than his kid!
Hey, Mr. Cunningham, the cards are getting cold.
Ohh!
You guys are just too hot for me.
Ha ha, he wins again, folks. He wins big.
Listen, uh, you know, it's almost dawn.
Why don't we speed things up a
little bit and raise the stakes, huh?
Yeah, sure. Yeah, why don't we? Why don't we double 'em?
Why don't we triple 'em? Just for fun.
Well, why don't we say "no limit"?
Oh, well, now, I don't know all right.
And I'll tell ya what. Instead of using these cards,
why don't we use these.
Hey, Murf, he carries cards, too.
Uh, you know, I just remembered.
Uh, we have to get up early tomorrow. We got early classes.
We don't got an early class tomor
Tell you what.
Why don't we all get up early tomorrow morning, huh?
We can meet at the dean's office, and I can
show him those funny little cards of yours.
I'm in. I'm in, I'm in.
All right, gentlemen, the name
of the game is five-card draw.
Jacks or better to open, and may the best man win.
Boop boop boop boop
bee-oop boop bee-oop bee-aah ♪
Go on, dear. Eat your breakfast, now.
Where's Dad and Richie?
They had an errand to run.
Good morning, Marion, Joanie.
They were out all night. You gonna ground them, Mom?
Daddies are allowed to stay out late as they want.
The good daddies better not make
a habit of it. Thank you, Marion.
What happened? Oh, well, Dad won all my money back.
It's not your money, it's my money. What money?
You can keep it, though, because
you gotta pay off your debts.
But you and Potsie are gonna have to work
a couple of weekends in the store, huh?
What debts? It's none of your business, Joanie.
Why not? I'm one of the family.
Say, you know, it's getting late. Why don't you go to bed?
I just woke up.
Oh.
Well, in that case, you stay up and I'll go to bed.
You can't go to bed! Today's Junior
Chipmunk father-daughter outing.
Ohh. Marion, can't you go?
Oh, great. The only event I'll win is the prettiest father.
Listen, Dad, I-I can take her.
He's worse than Mom.
Besides, at the brother-sister outing, all he tried to do
was make out with the Senior Chipmunks. Joanie!
Did not. Who'd want to bother with
a bunch of tomboys with overbites?
Mary Ellen is the only one with an overbite.
Whey're all the same Nah-uh!
OK, OK. Hold it. Hold it. I'll go, hmm?
Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop
bee-oop boop bee-ahh ♪
Joanie cooked dinner tonight.
Yes, here we go.
What, ah, what are we having for dinner, huh?
It's a recipe from my Junior Chipmunks book.
Oh.
What's in the soup, Joanie?
Howard.
I just wanna know what we're eating, Marion.
It's bark soup. The recipe says to use birch,
but I could find any, so I used willow.
Willow, huh.
Ah Joanie?
What do you say we all go out
and get some nice cheeseburgers?
French fries?
And milkshakes.
Oh, that's a good idea, Dad.
Hey, this is terrific soup. Can I have some more?
Hello, sunshine, goodbye, rain
She's wearin' my school ring on the chain
She's my steady, I'm her man
I'm gonna love her all I can
This day is ours
Won't you be mine? These happy days
This day is ours
Oh, please be mine those happy days
Happy days ♪