Haunted Hotel (2025) s01e10 Episode Script

1
Divide by 12, carry the one,
and we're broke!
You know what we're not out of?
-Love.
-How can we be out of money?
We've had a very steady trickle of guests.
Most of those people stayed on a dare,
and half of them
left in the middle of the night.
I mean, I hope they left.
Their rooms were empty.
Okay, here's a money-making plan.
We knock down all the walls
and build the world's largest
indoor haunted mini golf course,
and we call it "Boo in One."
I can do better.
We were out in the swamp all night,
but it was worth it.
You were in a swamp all night?
-Not if it's a problem for ya.
-It is!
Then we weren't! On an unrelated note,
check out this relic we found.
Kids and their relics. What's this one do?
Sends things to the dawn of time.
Did you just send our water bill
back to the dawn of time?
Ooh, it's gonna be super overdue.
Sorry, what's the point
of sending something to the dawn of time?
It just really seems like something
that can only be used for evil.
Ben, why do I have a compass
that points toward the nearest vampire?
Or a ring
that belonged to a demon's bride?
Because you're going to turn them in
to the authorities?
Because you never know when an object of
great and terrible power will be useful.
Right, Abaddon?
-Abaddon?
-There's a man in the yard.
That's a man in the yard, all right.
There's something off about him.
Maybe it's the cloak?
Oh, I like the cloak. It's jaunty.
The man in the cloak won't bother us
if we don't bother him.
Okay, that's more concerning.
No, they're not doing anything,
but it feels like a crime.
We've got a bus!
-They're really organized.
-How do they stand so still?
Statistically, one of them
should have sneezed by now.
So I should call back
when a knife is literally in my chest.
You know, I'm glad I haven't paid taxes
in three years.
The cops are useless.
Good, because you just confessed
to tax evasion on a recorded line.
I just mean we're on our own.
We hear you, Mom. Loud and clear.
Sorry, you hear what?
Your message! We're on our own,
and we'll do what needs to be done.
Hey! No! You added that last part.
-You added that last part!
-Another carload. Wait, no cloaks.
Are these regular guests?
Probably a good call.
Okay, I can look past the standing
motionless on our lawn in hooded robes,
but I draw the line
at scaring away possible business.
-Please be careful, Mom.
-You catch more flies with honey, Kath.
Hey, what do you losers want?
You think I'm scared of you?
I've been attacked, possessed,
and I'm constantly followed
by a ghost that's only visible
in the corner of my eye.
I see you, mostly.
In conclusion,
stand here as long as you like.
Mi yard es su yard.
-Ben, give him your wallet.
-Already taking it out.
Hey there. So sorry.
I told everyone to wait for me.
Guys, can we lose the hoods?
Danielle!
-Sorry, who are you?
-I'm Leader Todd.
And we are a group
of like-minded individuals
in need of about… 40 rooms?
Forty rooms?
Like-minded individuals. So you're a cult.
Nathan! I'm sure that's not what he means.
No, he's right. We're a cult.
We're also a non-profit.
And we sell honey.
And we're excellent tippers.
So about those rooms…
Excuse us a second.
Uh, Kathy, I've got
some experience with cults.
It never ends well.
-You were in a cult?
-Technically, 12 cults.
And I'm telling you,
you cannot trust anyone
who tells you they have all the answers
and also makes you sell
nonstick bakeware.
Yeah, Mom, this just doesn't feel right.
-Hi, I'm Lorraine.
-I'm fine with it.
So… cash okay?
Welcome to the Undervale.
Okay, so the plan is
I release the spiders,
the spiders cause pure and utter chaos,
at which point…
I stab the leader in the heart.
You threaten to stab.
Actual heart-stabbing would be murder.
Less fun, but okay.
She-mon.
Demon.
-Always be schemin'.
-Always be schemin'.
Look at all these guests.
-It's like we run a real hotel.
-Toilet's clogged.
Nathan we have so many guests
that a toilet got clogged.
And that's obviously great,
but cults always have ulterior motives.
Not to mention
how they prey on the weak-willed.
Right… Where is Ben?
I'll say, marry my hopes,
kill my fears, make love to my dreams.
-Yes!
-So smart.
-Exactly what I was thinking.
-Benjamin! Who are these strumpets?
You must be Annabelle.
Ben was right. You are so pretty.
Well, I'm glad he told you.
I like your cloak.
It's only for the weekend. Na… Nathan?
-Just admit you're a cult!
-I already did.
-Then admit you wanna recruit me.
-We're actually good.
Let's see if you're good after this!
Nathan!
So you've got some ghosts, huh?
No surprise, what with the veil
between worlds being so thin here.
Wait, you know about ghosts?
When you're in a cult,
you see some things.
No sign of him.
Well, keep looking.
Hey, we've got a little ceremony
coming up. Do you have an event space?
-We don't, and also--
-Absolutely!
-I'll give you a tour this afternoon.
-Ben, no!
-Take off that cloak!
-It's just to see how it looks!
Time to check out.
Threat of stabbing!
Esther, no.
The Child!
-The Child!
-The Child!
My lord!
Does he mean me or you?
My king, at last, you honor us.
Wait, your king is Abaddon?
You know he's a demon
trapped in a little boy, right?
Ah, sorry, did I not mention?
We're the Acolytes of Abaddon.
And we've come to fulfill the prophecy.
Abaddon, you've got a cult?
Make them do something pointless.
-Yeah, let's not--
-Do a backflip.
Awesome.
Our order spent decades searching.
Spirit channeling confirmed
Abaddon was bound to a mortal form,
but we never knew where he was
until we found his Internet videos.
You came all this way to worship Abaddon?
We're not just here to worship him.
We are here to bring him home.
Home? Like, to hell?
Uh, no offense,
but this is Abaddon's home and--
At last!
I'm free of this mortal wasteland.
No more dogs or soft whispers
or simple pleasures.
Oh, are we leaving now? Bus or car?
The journey is one of the soul, my lord.
And once the preparations are complete,
it will happen here.
You are the lock.
We are the key.
You are the lock. We are the key.
Mom, you're not gonna let them
do this, are ya?
I mean, we all love Abaddon…
Hi-yah! Hi-yah!
In a way.
But if paying customers
want to fill my hotel
and send the demon
who eats our light bulbs back to hell,
who am I to stop that?
Wow. Ben, back me up here.
Do I have to sign anything in blood?
The doctors say
I have one pint less than I should.
Farewell, little boy fingers.
Soon the power of 10,000 storms
will course through my talons.
Abaddon, you don't want this.
Really? I feel like I do.
Dude! We made a whole list
of things to do this year.
I was gonna teach you how to ride a bike,
and you were gonna teach me
how to turn a man's shadow against him.
Oh, sorry to interrupt.
We need to get Abaddon fitted
for his robe and crown.
You, lift me up. You, make train sounds.
Chugga-chugga, choo-choo!
At least pick a better cult.
They can't even do backflips!
Oh, face it, Esther.
We may have lost Abaddon forever,
and Ben temporarily.
-I'll take one more crack at Ben.
-And I'll threaten the cult with violence.
And this is our grand ballroom.
Very nice.
Of course,
we'd want some candles, flowers.
In red. We love red.
Not a problem.
Although, there will be an additional fee.
Hey, you can't take it with you.
Okay, I… I don't want
to generalize about cults,
but you're not all gonna end up dead
on the floor at the end of this, are you?
No! When the ceremony ends,
it'll be like none of us were ever here.
Right, right.
But now you're smiling
like that has a second meaning.
Look, if this is a problem,
I can take my group to a hotel in town.
No, no, it's fine. I ask every guest
if they're planning to die here.
Hey, if it makes you feel better,
I'll pay double.
-Double?
-Every acolyte gave their life savings.
And one of them founded a pizza chain
that you've definitely heard of.
-Deal.
-Stabby, stabby!
Candles, candles, candles.
Oh no! The spirits that haunt this hotel
found out there's going to be a ceremony.
-And they are not happy.
-Esther!
Little girl, are you trying to scare us
out of the hotel
so your demon friend will stay forever?
-Esther, is that what this is?
-What? No, I just hate cults.
And you should know, I have ways--
I meant to ask about music.
Is there a local band we can hire?
I have a band.
Stabby Paul, what the hell, man?
Stabbing is just a hobby.
Music is my passion.
You're hired. And you are all invited
to come watch the ceremony.
Hell yeah!
And this one
is the Candle of Perseverance.
Its energy has carried us
through the waiting.
Most people aren't even allowed
to look at this candle until year two.
But you're special, Ben.
Like, in a good way?
Oh, yes. Now see how long
you can keep your hand over the flame.
That'll determine if you're ready
for the Candle of Dedication.
Makes sense to me.
Okay, that's enough!
Ben, I know burning yourself
to prove you belong seems cool,
but trust me, they always ask about it
in your next job interview.
But you joined lots of cults.
I only wanna join one.
That's one too many.
And what about your girlfriend?
Would Annabelle approve
of another woman burning your palm?
Uh, probably.
Hey, Belle-Belle, you cool with this?
My name is Annabelle Anastasio,
and I'm going to kill the president.
Perfect. So that's your collateral,
and that earns you a candle.
People, wake up!
You're worshiping Abaddon!
If I hadn't found him in the woods,
he'd still be trapped
that in a hole he dug himself.
The Woodsman!
What's that now?
You are the woodsman
who plucked our leader from darkness,
as foretold in the prophecy.
The Woodsman is a great man.
Yeah, I wouldn't say great.
The silver candle!
That's three above green!
And only one below gold.
Well, how do I get gold?
Abaddon, you awake?
-I haven't slept in 100 years.
-Cool. Slide over.
I know tomorrow is a big day,
so I made you something, for you
to remember all the good times we had.
It's a quilt. Each patch represents
a different adventure we've had,
and the last patch is blank
to represent all the adventures
we'll never have
when you're gone.
I already have a blanket.
Come on, man! I was trying
to manipulate you into staying!
I don't know why I even have to
after everything we've done together.
You're my best friend,
and I thought I was yours.
You are
a very close acquaintance.
Excuse me?
I'm an immortal demon.
I measure moments in millennia.
Our time together was a blip.
I'm a blip?! You know what?
Have fun in hell.
Aw, thank you. I will.
This is just an ordinary blanket.
Why would I know how to make a quilt?
-Is that blood?
-I'm going to be honest with you.
Some of it is.
Tell you what, here's the cleaning fee.
-Because you can't take it with you.
-Hey, you said it, not me!
Nathan? I thought you had
a problem with the cult.
Oh, huge problem.
But then I found out that this cult
actually knows what they're talking about.
It's not manipulation if they're right.
-Uh-huh.
-Did you know that I'm the Woodsman?
Very important in the mythology.
Basically, number two behind Abaddon.
They even gave me this guy
who follows me around with a cloak
so it looks like I'm wearing it.
Watch this.
Ha! Ooh. Ha-ha!
And I'm carrying
the Candle of Provocation.
It's the fifth-highest honor you can get.
Really has me chasing
those other four honors.
Abaddon.
You look… beautiful? Scary?
I don't know what to say here.
Scary beautiful.
If everyone could please
take their places. We're about to begin!
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
Thanks for keeping the vents clean
with your body.
Thank you, Katherine.
Here are all of your earrings.
Oh, that makes sense.
This isn't goodbye.
Just the start of a new chapter.
Which for you
is going back to an old chapter.
The point is, haunt you later, bud.
Thank you, Nathan.
I'm really gonna miss you, Abaddon.
-And thank you, Cory.
-Okay.
Where is Esther?
I don't think she's coming.
My king, it's time.
We are Stabber-Kadabber!
We all died with our instruments,
so the instruments became ghosts!
That was my question.
Wow, it's beautiful.
Wait! I'm here!
I still think you're an idiot for leaving,
and I'm gonna miss you like crazy,
but if this is what you want,
that's what I want too.
Anyway, I spent all night
making you a real quilt of our adventures.
You remembered I like bones.
It is a worthy gift.
We, the Acolytes of Abaddon,
are gathered here
as servants of our demon god.
With the sacred blade of Carini
and a second, less sacred, blade
from the kitchen,
we shall bring Abaddon home.
Beginning the final prophecy!
Sorry, "final prophecy"?
Shh, I'm trying to hear my cue.
It's "apocalypse."
-What?
-Sh!
Tonight, we release our lord
and cleanse the world
with the fire of an apocalypse!
He is the lock.
And we are the key.
Do it.
-Agh!
-Oh God!
Oh, that son of a bitch promised me!
Is that it?
Is that it? A man died!
I think what Esther means to say is,
tragedy aside, we were promised
a ceremony to bring Abaddon home.
Yes, we will bring Abaddon home
by bringing about hell on earth!
So we're bringing his home to him.
That is very misleading phrasing.
Yeah!
I don't care
about getting the blue candle anymore.
Run!
I told you, all cults end badly!
Then why did you join this one?
Why did you let them use the ballroom?
Can we not die fighting?
Abaddon is still back there.
He's a demon. He'll be fine.
We need to get to
safety.
Frogs, huh? How about that?
The Bible got something right.
Mom?
It's gonna be okay. Remember how
we used to play the floor is lava?
Well, now it is! Isn't that fun?
That meteor is headed right for us!
Abaddon?
I have powers now.
Atta-demon-boy!
Don't cheer for him.
He let that cult start an apocalypse.
I didn't know this would happen.
They tricked me!
Like when Nathan steals my nose!
How do we stop this?
There is no stopping.
It is the end of times, and it has begun!
You will have to adjust.
Run!
We're okay. We're okay.
Stop saying it like that!
We're trapped!
Guys, I think we can jump this gap before…
Nope, never mind.
Get up the tree! Nathan, come on!
I'm coming up.
Huh. Sort of figured I could climb a tree
since I can climb a ladder.
Ghost rules, you know?
Uncle Nathan!
It's okay.
This ground feels way sturdier
than the ground that just fell into… lava!
Nathan!
Okay. Come on, guys. Keep climbing.
Got you.
Now, let's find a way…
-Mom!
-Mom!
Just keep climbing.
-Oh, jeez. Uh… Uh…
-Ben! Take off the robe!
-I can't. I'm naked under here.
-What? Why?
I thought it was like a bathrobe!
So, what's your plan for the night?
Abaddon,
if any part of you cares about me
as much as I care about you,
you'll fix this.
Find a way.
She-mon.
Demon.
-Always…
-Always…
Always be schemin'.
I'll be right back.
This is for the king!
This is for Craig
and everyone at table 12!
Hey, bud.
…the fire of an apocalypse!
He is the lock.
That's for tricking me.
Oh boy!
What did you just do?
We threaten to stab, remember?
He was going to have the girl kill him
to trigger the apocalypse.
So, won't you killing him
do the same thing?
Perhaps.
Hey, bud.
He is the lock, and we--
Uh…
Okay, before you ask, if he were killed,
it would restore my powers,
but also trigger the apocalypse.
Wait, so you gave up your powers
in order to save us? Abaddon!
Well, I mean, not… not…
Oh, did you not realize
that if you save us you don't get powers?
There should be a way I can have both.
It feels pretty one or the other to me.
You feel pretty one or the other!
I can do both.
I'll save you and free myself.
Damn it, Todd.
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
Is anyone hearing me?
What are we going to do for money?
Abaddon, this is important.
Oh, is it? Is it more important than me
figuring out how to let a cult free me,
but also stop the cult from kicking off
the apocalypse that kills you all?
I do love a riddle. Say it again.
I've lived the history
of this world 100 times.
I'd say that's enough sugar for Abaddon.
Today, you deserve the meteor.
Hey, what's up with you?
Is it bedbugs? You'll find more.
I have a choice to make
between glory and friendship.
Well, which do you like more?
-Glory.
-Great, easy-peasy.
-But when I have it, it's not right.
-So friendship.
-But I want glory.
-Okay, glory.
But it feels wrong.
I want glory. And for it to feel right.
Well, buddy, sounds to me
like you want friendship.
You just don't like it.
All this for a blip. I…
Unless… you weren't just a blip.
Huh. There's a man in the yard.
My lord.
Is this a… a test?
-The Child.
-It's him!
Hail Abaddon, Lord of--
Oh God! Not the fingers!
So… what was that about?
Death cult trying to start the apocalypse.
Probably the right move then.
Do you think they would've paid for rooms?
Okay, here's a moneymaking plan.
We charge people 50 bucks
to trash a room like a rock star.
-Who doesn't wanna feel like a rock star?
-I love it!
You really think we could get 50 bucks?
Abaddon, you okay?
Yes.
I think I am.
Good. You should come inside.
I put marshmallows in Ben's pockets,
and he's gonna get attacked by--
Why?
-Goddammit, Jessica!
-Jessica? Jessica!