Johnny Test (2005) s01e10 Episode Script

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Johnny got a head
Of fiery hair ♪
And a turbo-charged backpack ♪
His genius sisters
Use him like a lab rat ♪
A neat-freak dad at home ♪
A super-busy mom ♪
The boy's best friend
Is a talking dog ♪
-Talking dog ♪
-That's right ♪
Three extreme teens
And an air-breathing shark ♪
Mega-action game controller
Skating in the park ♪
A Phero-Booster, Bling-Bling ♪
What do we make of this? ♪
Johnny Test ♪
Johnny Test ♪
This is the life of a boy
Named Johnny Test ♪
Johnny Test ♪
Johnny Test ♪
This is the life of a boy ♪
Named Johnny Test ♪
(FIREWORKS WHISTLE,
RAPID EXPLOSIONS)
Yum! An organically grown,
hypoallergenic, delicious,
fruit-bearing
insect repellent plant.
After three years of pampering,
we finally made
the perfect tree.
(DUKEY SNIFFS)
You're right. It is perfect.
Was. Was perfect.
Dukey! You ruined
one of our greatest
experiments ever.
Hey, when the superdog's
gotta go, he's gotta go.
-Let's go.
-I just did.
-(DUKEY, JOHNNY LAUGH)
-(MARY, SUSAN GRUNT)
Belts, they're today's
number-one fashion accessory.
And once Gil sees how cool
we are with our hot new belts,
he won't be able to resist
noticing us.
(DUKEY MUNCHING)
(CHUCKLES)
Chewing leather is fun!
Your dog is out of control.
Aw, come on. He's gotta chew.
Gesundheit.
So, let's go over the plan
one more time.
Gil comes over to pick up
his skateboard that we found
and didn't take
from his backyard.
Then we will shower him
with our homemade cookies,
pies, and lemonade.
And he'll thank us so much,
he'll hug us.
Oh, let's get ready!
(DUKEY BURPS)
Johnny!
Dukey ate our snacks
we made for Gil
that he was gonna love us for.
Shame on you, Dukey.
You didn't save any for me.
Sure I did. Now sit.
-(JOHNNY PANTING)
-Good boy.
That's it.
If Johnny can't control
that dog
Then we will.
-(SNARLS)
-Foaming alley cat alert!
-(DUKEY GROWLS)
-(CAT YOWLS)
Thanks, buddy.
Stupid cats.
They fall for the latte foam
as rabies-foam trick
every time.
Now to relax and enjoy
this tasty coffee beverage.
JOHNNY:
Or I could train you
to become a flying,
disc-catching wonder dog.
Then we'll make a fortune
at halftime shows.
What do I have to do?
You catch it in your mouth
like this.
Throw it to me,
and I'll show you. (PANTING)
-(JOHNNY GASPS)
-(CAT YOWLS)
Package for Dukey dog.
Special delivery from, uh
France.
Ooh-la-la!
I love the French.
French fries,
French roast coffee,
and French fashion.
What a cool collar!
You have to admit
that was a pretty great catch.
Now you try.
I'm done
with these childish games,
and I'm off
to have some real fun.
Okay, weirdo.
JOHNNY: Dukey!
(MARY, SUSAN GIGGLING)
Vacuuming the lab is fun.
Um, no, it's not. Come on.
Let's go do
boy-and-his-dog stuff.
You know, uh, doing
boy things with dog,
like, not cleaning.
Jonathan, Gil is coming over,
and I must prepare the lab.
-And it's almost tea time.
-Say what?
Gil is just dreamy,
and I'm going to hang out
with your mature sisters
from now on. Buh-bye.
You heard him, Johnny.
He wants to hang with us
for a while and not you.
Tea without Johnny is served.
Fine! I'll just go to the park
and have fun all by myself!
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
I can make my own fun.
Who needs a best friend?
(DOG BARKS)
(CHUCKLES) I don't know
what I'd do without you, boy.
Okay, that's
way too much licking.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
The two of us are having fun
like no one person
could ever have alone.
-Teeter-totters
are so last year.
-(MARY, SUSAN LAUGHING)
Pulling you girls
on a rickshaw
through the park is fun!
Hey, he never gave me
rickshaw rides.
And he never liked
Susan and Mary before.
And I've gotta stop
talking to myself.
(CAT YOWLS)
-Emergency alley cat alert!
-(SNARLS)
Oh, right.
(CATS YOWL)
Oh, that was my ex-best friend
who scared you before.
I, on the other hand,
have no problems
with you nice foaming kitties.
And run!
(CAT SNARLS)
Relax.
You girls look fabulous.
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
-TWINS: It's Gil!
The skateboard.
Don't forget the skateboard.
Uh, hey, guys.
You found my board?
(MARY, SUSAN, DUKEY SIGH)
Um, later.
(ALL SIGH)
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-Hey, Johnny.
Tear your pants
jumping a fence again
or is that a new hip look
I'm too old to understand?
No! Dukey abandoned me.
As far as I'm concerned,
Dukey doesn't exist.
Who's Dukey? Don't know.
I wish he was gone forever.
That boy really needs
to stop talking
to himself.
Shopping for clothes
and plutonium is fun!
I never thought
I'd say this,
but you really are
a great dog, Dukey.
(BOTH GIGGLING)
So, I guess I'm
moving out of Johnny's
and into your room, huh?
No. You're still
really hairy and shedding.
And we can't risk
one of your night toots.
So you still sleep
with Johnny.
No, I wanna
stay with you and--
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE)
Okay, I will stay with the boy.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
JOHNNY:
Good times. Good times.
(DUKEY FARTS)
He's smelly
and totally avoids me,
but we did have
some great times.
Wait a minute.
"Made in
Susan and Mary Test's
Laboratory.
Dry clean only."
They are controlling
your mind!
Susan and Mary
have put this collar on you,
and that's why
you're not my pal.
And why won't you wake up?
"Deep-sleep mode." They're evil.
But they do make a great
mind-controlling collar.
(GRUNTS)
Won't come off!
Fine!
I'll just cut it off myself.
Johnny, it's bedtime.
What are you doing?
I need to cut something,
but I can't find the
pickaxe or chainsaw.
Hey, this'll do.
Oh, okay.
What? Johnny,
that's not for young boys.
If you need
to cut something, you can
use your safety scissors.
Hmm. These ought
to take care of Dukey.
Johnny! How could you
do this to Dukey?
No, Dad, you don't understand.
Susan and Mary
gave Dukey this collar.
Well, at least your sisters
are nice to Dukey.
So he can stay
in their room tonight.
Boy, he's really sleeping.
And you can sleep by yourself.
And don't come out of this room!
COMPUTER:
Super-secret password required
for entry into the lab.
G-I-L. Gil.
COMPUTER:
Access granted.
Everlasting lipstick.
The disco dancetron.
The neural obedience collar
to control Dukey's mind.
The Gil-bot.
Hi, girls. I'm handsome.
Collar to control Dukey's mind!
Well, I guess we'll see
who's in control now,
Susan and Mary.
(EVIL LAUGHING)
I have got to stop
evil laughing to myself.
SUSAN:
Oh, Dukey! Our tea?
Tea is served, ladies.
And may I say
what a wonderful day it is
to be with you two
and not the flaming-headed boy.
And speaking of Johnny
Jonathan?
Hey, I wanted to say I'm sorry
about Dukey
chewing your belts yesterday.
And I apologize
for his bad behavior.
You're apologizing?
Who are you?
And what have you done
with our brother?
Anyway, to make it up to you,
I got you some new
super-stylish belts
that Gil will love.
Wow, new belts.
They are stylish.
Yeah, Johnny. Really awesome.
Check out the flashing lights.
And techno-transmitter.
BOTH:
Lights, transmitters? Uh-oh!
(REMOTE BEEPING)
-Get it off!
-Take off the belt!
(BOTH IN ROBOTIC VOICE)
Yes, Johnny. What can we
do for you?
Actually, it's
what you can do for me
and Dukey, my best friend,
who I want back.
BOTH:
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
And they had you in a dress,
you did their nails,
and you were their butler.
Get out of here.
That's hysterical.
Warm up, please. Now!
BOTH:
Anything else,
super-cool Johnny and Dukey?
Yes,
time for
"embarrass my sisters" mode.
MARY, SUSAN:
Hi, Gil! We're geeks.
We're geeks. We're geeks.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
JOHNNY:
Welcome to a strange
and dangerous new world.
One filled with untold horrors
and terrors of the flesh.
Johnny, stop talking
about my face like that!
-But look how gross it is.
-Johnny!
Well, I'm grossed out.
And I sometimes cough up
my dinner to enjoy it
a second time.
If you magnify anything
a few thousand times,
it's gonna look hideous.
Hideously beautiful, that is.
Tell that
to "Zitzilla" there.
(SCREAMS)
You said you could
get rid of that!
Oh, I'm working
as fast as I can.
Duck! She's gonna blow!
Get rid of it now!
See? There's nothing
to worry about.
Except that.
Johnny, she's gonna blow again!
Say what?
Get some stabilizing compound.
And it's gone.
Man, I am not looking forward
to my teenage years.
Well, be prepared, Johnny.
Every teenager goes through
a gigantic, ugly zit phase.
It's nature's way of saying,
"Growing up sucks."
I not only look great,
but I think we found our project
for the science bonanza.
Besides rock 'n' roll,
this zit cream
could be the greatest invention
for teens ever.
Quick, instant message
our classmates
at the institute
for further testing.
Aw, you're not having
those super dweebs
over here, are you?
They are not super dweebs.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Check that.
They're mega-super dweebs.
Susan, Mary, we commutated here
as expeditiously as we could.
Welcome, Mega mates.
In keeping with this year's
bonanza theme of practical
applications of science,
we've invented
a super killer zit cream.
ALL:
Huh?
Zits? Do I have zits?
More than 93 percent
of all teenagers
have some form
of dermatological anomalies,
and this cream will fix it.
Yes, but does it help you travel
at the speed of light?
What about turning
common salt particles
into flash memory?
Can it even help you
get your avatar
to level 12
of Heisenberg's Cat Box?
-Well, no.
-(BOYS SCOFF) Eh.
But it will clean up your faces,
you bozons.
Susan and Mary, I'm afraid
your little skin ointment,
like you-- is a total joke.
They can't diss
my sisters like that.
Yeah. Only we can
diss them like that.
It's okay, Mary.
We'll think of something
for the fair.
Back to the lab.
Wow. I've never seen them
like that.
We've gotta do something.
I know. We should prove just how
wrong those super dweebs are
by using Susan
and Mary's pimple cream
to permanently cure
this town of its zitness.
Actually, I was thinking
of covering the dweebs' houses
with toilet paper,
but your idea works, too.
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
(SCREAMS)
Thanks,
kid with the flaming hair.
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
Hey, I'm Hank Anchorman,
and I have a facial blemish.
Can that stuff work
on handsome adults, too?
And movie stars?
Sure.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Hey, what's going on here?
Just the greatest invention
for teens
and people on TV and the movies
since rock 'n' roll.
BOTH:
We wanna try it.
(GASPS) I feel so alive!
And you can all thank
Susan and Mary Test,
my sisters.
Hey, did either of you
see the container
of super killer zit cream
we left in the lab?
Totally. True that, homes.
BOTH:
Huh?
What did he just say?
Oh, he's just excited
because we demonstrated
how incredibly practical
your zit stuff is
by fixing every nasty,
pimply face in Porkbelly.
BOTH:
You what?
And those super geeks
will not diss you anymore.
You did take the batch
with the stabilizing
compound, right?
The "stabo-uzi-unk"?
Johnny, we didn't finish
mixing the cream in the lab.
-It's not stable.
-Say what?
We were just
trying to help and prove
those mega-dweebs wrong.
Why didn't you just TP
their houses
like we did?
(CHUCKLES)
Say, you don't have any more
of that stabilizing compound,
by any chance?
No. We need to make more. Why?
Uh, this why.
HANK:
A Porkbelly pimple plague!
I'm Hank Anchorman, reporting
from inside a paper bag
at the Mega Institute
of Technology
where giant pimples
are popping up everywhere!
He had this hair
that looked all flamey,
and he said he could help us.
Now look at me. I'm hideous!
Tell me you didn't tell them
it was our invention.
He said Susan and Mary Test
invented this stuff.
Let's get them!
(ALL YELLING)
I have a plan.
-Run! (GROANS)
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
We have to make more stabilizer,
but we'll need time.
Go. We'll stall them with these
cold cuts and some tape.
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Don't panic.
Everything will be fine.
I, too, am a teen with bad skin,
and Susan and Mary
can help us all.
Uh, what are you talking about?
We have pimples, too. See?
Oh, right.
That's a piece of salami
attached to your cheek
with tape.
Ow!
Yeah.
And this is just pimento loaf.
Let's get 'em!
Wait! One more thing!
(ALL SCREAMING)
We're under super geek attack,
and you've got a plan.
We've got suits for you two.
Okay, it's time to zap
those zits.
And pop those pimples.
And blast those blemishes.
And-- hey, no fair.
You took all the good
zitty catchphrases.
(REMOTE BEEPS)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(ALL CHEERING)
Hey.
We're out here.
Take this!
And some of that!
And a little of this!
Oh, yeah,
you want some of this?
-Johnny!
-JOHNNY: Come on!
Take that, and that!
-Cut it out! We're done. Look!
-JOHNNY: And that! And this!
Hey, we feel great again.
Oh, sorry about the door.
Um, is that normal?
SUSAN:
Oh, no.
Somehow, the clearing compound
is causing the pimples
to compound into
Zitzilla!
BOTH:
Whoa. Didn't see that coming.
It's not shrinking.
Hank Anchorman here
as a giant pimple
is about to eat Porkbelly--
-We've got to cross the creams.
-What?
What's that? She sounded scared.
Why did she sound scared?
It will either create
a negative charge
that could be highly effective
and shrink Zitzilla
or highly explosive
and destroy Porkbelly.
Eh, what the heck?
(CROWD CHEERING)
They did it! Zitzilla is gone!
Hey, can I get some of that?
Thanks.
And first place in this year's
science bonanza goes to
Susan and Mary Test,
for their invention,
the high-powered
Zitstinquisher,
which crushed
that giant pimple thing
and stopped one of the worst
skin outbreaks in history.
(CROWD APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
An outbreak, I might add,
their mentally defective brother
actually started.
Hey, you can't diss
our brother like that.
Yeah. Only we can.
Which reminds me,
the Zitstinquisher
also has a reverse mode.
(BOYS SCREAM)
Later, we'll TP their houses.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)