Level Up (2012) s01e10 Episode Script

- [feedback whines]
Hello, Daventry Hills High.
[feedback intensifies]
Yikes. My surprise bagpipe
concert in the library
got a better reception
than this.
Maybe if Principal Storms
wore a plaid skirt
and a deelybob hat he'd get
the same respect that you did.
I don't think
that was respect.
And by the way,
I want my skirt back.
It needs to be repaired.
Testing, testing.
Where was I?
Oh yes, student council
elections are next week.
The school needs strong
leaders and we want you--
GPA 2.5 and above,
parents' permission
required-- to sign up.
Hey, remember when Lyle ran
for president and won?
No, you don't?
'Cause in two weeks you will!
No, no, no, guys.
I don't know about that.
Go Lyle! Go Lyle!
[chanting]
Go Lyle!
Go Lyle! Go-- okay.
Settle down, settle down.
We all know that
Lyle is gonna win.
[shouting, cheering]
- You guys.
- Can you believe this?
We're supposed to live
in a democracy,
and yet student council
elections are such a sham.
If you're that bummed
about it, why don't
you run sometime?
I do run. Every year.
Oh, yeah.
You're the girl that
made the angry speeches.
I'm not angry. I'm passionate
about issues I believe in.
- You know what
I'm passionate about?
- What?
Not caring.
That's why I don't vote.
See, you're part of
the problem.
Don't care.
See how that works?
Go Lyle! Go Lyle!
Go Lyle! Go Lyle!
Ready to raid the dreaded
Dread Orcs camp?
Mr. President,
do you want to take the lead?
I'm not gonna be president.
What? Come on, man.
You totally got this locked up.
Kids were chanting "Go Lyle"
three periods after
the assembly.
No, you don't
understand. I don't
want to be president.
I already got football,
parties, my girlfriend.
I don't have time
for boring student
council meetings.
I mean, when am I gonna
game with you guys?
Yeah, that's the most important
six hours of your day.
Hold up. Lyle, did you
just put us on the list
with football and parties?
Dante, we have arrived!
Hey, how's the campaign
coming?
Well, guys are writing
my name on their chest.
That's an important
first step.
I should know. I was class
president all four years
of high school.
How are the finger guns
coming along?
[weakly imitates gunshots]
Not so sure it's my thing.
Finger guns are out?
What's in?
Fist bumps, hand birds?
Where are we at?
No, Dad.
Running for president.
Of course it's
your thing, Lyle.
You come from a whole line
of leaders.
The problem with this family
is we're good at so many things
sometimes we don't even know
we're good at something
that we're great at.
So you're saying even if I don't
think something is my thing,
I should try that thing
just in case it turns
out to be my thing?
[imitates gunshot] You got it!
Hugginsons always win.
Let's not let that tradition
die with my only child, okay?
- So no pressure then.
- I'm gonna go make reservations
for our victory dinner.
Right now.
I know one of the things
I'm good at, but I might
be great at,
and that's eating free food
at a victory dinner.
Hey, can I order
two desserts?
Guys, let's just play.
I don't know how many
more free nights I got.
Good thing your dad doesn't
know you play the game,
otherwise he'd make you run
for king of the Dread Orcs.
Am I right?
- I'm right.
- I'm not laughing
because it's true.
He would make me run for that.
Hey, he can make you run,
but he can't make you win--
if you know what I mean.
Wait. Dante's right.
We can help you throw the
election.
Awesome! I totally
thought of that!
Like lose on purpose?
Yeah. Don't you worry
your shampooed little head.
Wyatt and I got you covered.
- We do?
- Oh, yeah, we do.
Dude, I said to dress like
a ninja, not like a mime.
This the only black clothes
I have. Did you bring
the supplies?
I sure did. One sec.
Gotta escape.
That better?
Let's do this.
I did not see that coming.
It gets worse.
See my Lyle 'stache?
By Election Day,
this bad boy'll be rocking.
If I said I liked ribbon
dancing,
everybody would
petition to cut its funding.
But if Lyle does it,
everyone wants to join?
That's because Lyle is cool
and you've just genuinely
expressed a love
for ribbon dancing.
I said "if."
So how do we make everyone
think Lyle isn't cool?
[doorbell rings]
So how's Max Ross
going to help us?
The guy's got multiple websites
dedicated to just hating on him.
If there's anyone
who can get my fans to
turn against me, it's Max.
- [whistles]
- [doorbell rings]
What? I'm spear fishing
in my pond.
We heard everybody
hates you.
Let me handle this.
- We need your help.
- Go away!
That's exactly the kind of
negative energy we need, boys.
[shrieks]
Not here.
Okay, so Lyle needs
to alienate his fan base.
Have you tried shutting down
your game
for 48 hours
for maintenance?
That doesn't really
apply here, Max.
Okay, what about going public
with your theory
that the government has
tainted our water supply
to make us mindless
mercenaries?
- What?
-I'm down with that.
How does it work?
Can I drive a dump truck?
Sure.
What you don't know
is that toxic chemicals are
killing our brain cells,
rendering us incapable
of staging a revolution.
We're looking for something
that would make people
not vote for Lyle.
Did it ever occur to you
that maybe,
instead of sabotaging
Lyle's campaign,
you should be putting
your weight behind
another candidate?
[water splashes]
There he is!
Aah! My foot! He bit me!
Yeah, he bit me.
I guess we'll wait
until he's done,
then he'll give us
the rest of that idea.
No, I think we got it.
I know exactly the person
we should try to elect.
I'll do it.
Should you really be allowed
to handle that?
Okay, this year is
gonna be different.
Because I have
a campaign staff
and we're gonna stay
on message.
And we're gonna
bring the issues
to Daventry Hills High School
students.
Let's go win this thing!
Bullhorn me.
[shrieks]
I love it when she tells me
what to do.
Creepy.
If you're not outraged,
you're not listening.
Vote for Angie.
Wyatt, get those hearts
off the I's in "Angie".
I refuse to run
on girly stereotypes.
Dante, get those buttons
on those kids.
I don't care if
you have to hold them down.
- And, Gus.
- Yeah.
Stop staring at me like that.
Hey!
[bullhorn whines
and electricity crackles]
You just got Big Joe-ed.
And you just got
Big Principal Storms-ed.
Stormed.
No, Storms-ed. Whatever.
My office now.
[growls]
Instead of vending machines
filled with processed foods
and sugary snacks,
- we need carrot sticks
and apple slices.
- [class groans]
- Question in the back.
- Yeah, could you repeat that?
My Triple Cheese-os
were making
a loud crunching noise
in my head.
Hey, is Lyle gonna
come in and talk to us?
I made him a cake.
Okay. [grunts]
Even with all our help
and suffering through
her bossiness--
- Passion.
- It's not looking good.
- What?
- I projected election results
based on a preliminary survey
and well, look.
As you can see,
Angie's made very little
impact against Lyle.
Plus, I hear people are
making cakes and giving
them to him.
Yeah, well, that's true.
Maybe this will
change some minds.
- [screams]
- What?
What, man?
He's got a spear gun.
What? No, no, no. We buy
votes with Free Fish Fridays.
Everything in the cafeteria
harpooned by yours truly.
Yeah, no. We've only
got a couple of days
before the election, okay?
I don't know if Angie can
turn things around by then.
Not without a miracle.
Or a little help from
the Booty Box.
You know, the "Booty Box"--
where we keep looted treasure
from leaks in the game.
Huh? Huh?
Have we been doing that?
Yeah. What did you think
this big box was for?
I didn't want to ask.
It's about the same size
as a human body.
That's a lot of junk
in that trunk.
Troll repellent,
sword of antiperspirant,
- can of whoop air,
- [sword vibrating]
dragon breath mint.
Ah, here it is.
- It's a charm bracelet.
- How does it work?
Dante, give me your wrist.
I've dreamt of this moment
ever since I was a little girl.
In the game, it gives you
30 extra charisma points.
But in real life
Angie, I love what you did
with the place.
And did you get a new haircut?
I did.
Thank you for noticing.
Can I get you something
to drink? You look thirsty.
Yes. Why don't we go
to the kitchen
and grab a nice glass of--
pickle juice!
First person to chug a jarful
without barfing wins.
[belches]
That was like watching
a reverse werewolf.
This secret weapon is gonna
help us do a lot of good
for the school.
I feel all fuzzy
on the inside.
- You dropped these.
- Thank you, sweetie.
She called me sweetie.
Oh! Who is this girl wearing
my cute top?
- That's you, pretty lady.
- Oh.
I should also mention
the charm bracelet takes
away 10 intelligence points.
How many people did it
take to draw these?
Wow.
You gotta work
on that landing.
I did work on it,
and I nailed it.
I think the bracelet's got us
covered on the election front.
I know a girl
She's a beauty queen
as she rocks the scene,
uh-oh! ♪
All over the world
people stop and stare ♪
She's everywhere, uh-oh
A regular girl
Thinks she's
the farthest thing ♪
From a beauty queen
Angie, people are just
begging for merch.
I'm thinking T-shirts,
book covers, and a fragrance--
- "Angie."
- Yeah.
Vote for Angie.
If imperfection's
got you thinking
You're not worthy
and got you hiding
in your room ♪
Quick, wear The Angie.
I like your sweater, Gus.
But what did you do
with the sleeves?
It's a vest.
And, Angie,
I like-liked you before,
but now
I like-like-like you.
That's a tple like.
I don't know if one's ever
happened to this school before.
Wow.
And I just want you beautiful
and special people to know
that you are beautiful
and special
and I know that together
we can make this
school beautiful
- and special.
- Yeah!
You got my vote, Angie.
And this kid's voting
for you, too.
- [knock on door]
- Hey.
Nervous about
the big election tomorrow?
Not at all.
I'm actually quite sure
of the outcome.
So you want this as much
as I do, right?
- Yep. Absolutely.
- That's the Hugginson spirit.
Dinner reservations
have been made.
I called, and they're
going to carve a brisket
into the shape of your face.
Apparently, they already had
a photo of you
because some guy ordered
a custom-made cake.
I'm very popular
in the culinary world.
[laughing] Yeah.
[imitates gunshots] Yeah.
Well, I'm glad that
everything is going
according to plan.
But I am just sad
that I won't be able to eat
Lyle's face tomorrow.
Gentlemen, as long
as I'm not president,
I guarantee there will be
another chance to eat my face.
Perfect.
You don't like my platform?
I don't like your face!
I have been looking all over
for you Three Geeketeers.
That's not very charming.
Can it, pretty boy.
We've got a giant problem.
- Like an actual giant?
- [gasps]
No.
A giant problem as in
I lost the charm bracelet.
Oh, man. I never thought
I'd get to say this,
but it would be tons easier
dealing with an actual giant.
What do you mean you lost
the charm bracelet?
I mean I can't find it!
I'm an expert at losing
things,
and I often find them
in the last place I look.
So let's start there.
Okay, I was at my locker,
which by the way,
is filled with unicorns
and rainbow stickers.
Ugh! It's creepy.
And then I went to gym.
Dante and I'll retrace
your steps.
Wait. If you want to be
accurate,
then add in some skipping
and a few cartwheels.
Let's blend in.
- I'm so ashamed.
- This is horrible.
I'm gonna win this election
and then everyone's gonna
have to eat my brisket face.
I can't let that happen.
Let me see your speech.
I re-wrote it because the old
one didn't make any sense.
The I's were dotted
with little hearts
and it smelled like
gross citrusy body spray.
Yeah, that would be
"Angie."
It's not at the locker.
Come on.
Thanks, Big Joe.
My pleasure.
Finally I have
a non-creepy reason
to go inside
the girls' locker room.
There's so much mystery.
What do you think is in there?
Velvet benches?
A carpeted shower?
Ooh. Wait a sec.
Did Big Joe just
hold the door for us?
That was very charming
of him, wasn't it?
Count on Gus to count your
money for school treasurer.
I didn't mean to say treasurer.
You guys knew what I meant.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I quit.
Well, Ginger, looks like
you're school treasurer.
Yes! Goody. Goody.
Goody. Goody. Goody! Goody!
Right, moving on.
Vice President candidates.
Thank you, Principal Storms.
Thank you, student body
of Daventry Hills.
You may ask yourself
what is the vice
president's job?
Hi, Big Joe. Would you be
interested in my lunch money?
Because I'd like you
to have it.
Oh, thanks, Wayne.
What a nice gesture.
Hey, Big Joe!
So sorry to interrupt.
We know you're a busy
and important guy.
We just love your bracelet.
Yeah. Do you think that it
would look good on me?
Here.
Why don't you try it on?
Not enough guys rock
the wrist bling.
Hey, why am I giving
you something?
You should be careful with that.
That's fragile.
No! My wrist bling.
Well, the less said
about that, the better.
Vote with your conscience,
people. Moving onto president.
Angie Prieto.
Thank you, Principal Storms,
and a big yay for you.
Okay. And thank you,
totally awesome students
of Daventry Hills High.
I'm super duper jazzed
for this very important day.
[crowd murmuring]
Okay, you know what?
You want to know what's wrong
with these stupid student
council elections?
Everyone's too scared
to say the truth.
So they come up here
and they juggle and dance
- and accidentally
catch on fire.
- What is she doing?
Hold on. I think she might
be turning it around.
- Okay, listen up,
you drones.
- No.
You buy into these absurd
campaign promises
like "no school on Fridays"
or "get fired up with Billy."
See what happened?
But nobody stops to think,
what about the difficult
boring stuff that matters?
- [chanting] Lyle! Lyle!
- Like, being able to afford
a school nurse
so we can finally screen
for head lice. Who's
gonna deal with that?
No, no, no, no, no!
- [chanting] Lyle! Lyle!
- [imitates gunshot]
[chanting continuing]
Vote for whoever will make
it rain chocolate. I don't care.
Guys, come on.
Okay, that's what we need
on student council,
someone who's not afraid
to get up here and speak
the ugly truth.
So everyone who was chanting
"Lyle," start chanting "Angie."
Lyle said to say Angie.
Lyle said to say Angie.
Lyle said to say Angie.
Lyle said to say Angie.
- Lyle said--
- No, just "Angie."
Come on.
[chanting] Angie!
Angie! Angie!
[chanting continues]
- Can we take credit
for this one?
- I'm gonna.
All right, we did it.
Whoo!
Hey! Angie! Angie!
Angie! Angie!
[knock on door]
We need to talk about today.
If you didn't want to run,
you should have spoken up.
Okay, Dad.
Maybe I didn't want to run.
I'm glad you told me,
but I wish you had you
said something earlier
because I already paid
for your big victory dinner.
- Sorry I let you down, Dad.
- You didn't let me down.
I'm getting a free dinner.
You just said you
already paid for it.
I did.
But you're gonna pay me back.
See, we had an election
of our own
down at the car dealership,
and you were voted president
of washing all of the cars
for the next six months.
[imitates gunshots]
Congratulations,
President of the Car Wash.
- I guess you can't
lose 'em all.
- Ha ha! Very funny, okay?
Yeah, you're right.
Your political career
isn't washed upafter all.
All right, all right.
Don't worry, you're still
a shining star in our eyes.
A bumper shining star.
- I'm logging off now.
- No, wait. I've got one
about a sponge.
- What?
- [computer powers down]