Prison School (2015) s01e10 Episode Script

[KIYOSHI] We needed proof
we could show the Chairman
for a stay of expulsion.
But our attempt to obtain
the DTO project files
resulted in failure.
In the end, we had resigned
ourselves to our fate.
Any desire we had
to fight back was long gone.
We weren't even angry,
or anxious, or sad.
After everything
we'd been through,
our spirits were
completely broken.
[distant farting]
A new plan! As long as we're
cleaning the bathrooms,
we should answer
the call of nature first,
thus killing two birds
with one stone!
[KIYOSHI]
And then there was Gakuto.
[ANDRE] But then we have
to work in the stink.
[SHINGO groans]
[JOE]
Smells like a sweaty turd.
That's a masterful strategy.
Well done, Gakuto.
Come join me on
the throne, brave comrades!
Depending upon your diet,
it will be a show of solidarity.
[KIYOSHI] Gakuto's spirit
wasn't broken.
It had been
absolutely pulverized.
[MARI] It seems those fools
have finally been
cowed into accepting
their punishment.
They're so submissive now.
I'm actually a little
bit disappointed.
And by this time next week,
the school will finally
be free of their
disruptive presence.
Won't that be wonderful?
[MEIKO]
Yes, ma'am.
[GIRL STUDENT 10A]
The boys' food is ready.
[MEIKO]
Excellent.
[CHIYO sighs lightly]
[MEIKO]
It won't be long now.
The day after next, the
Chairman will affix his seal,
and your time at this school
will have come to an end.
[MEIKO] They say it was Texas
that started the tradition
of allowing condemned prisoners
to customize their last meal.
If you think about it,
the day after tomorrow
is like your execution day.
So then,
tell me what you want.
[ANDRE]
Salisbury steak.
[KIYOSHI]
Steak-steak.
[SHINGO]
I gotta go with katsudon.
[JOE] I'll stick with
the normal menu.
Hey Brown Thunder.
What's yours?
Yours truly shall dine on
deep-fried grasshoppers
over sticky rice,
and don't skimp.
I expect only
the finest insects!
[MEIKO]
Very well. Approved.
[BOYS]
Approved?
Oh, Madam?
I hope you don't mind, but I'd
like to change my order.
[MEIKO]
To what?
I'll take a whipping from your
riding crop for starters.
For the main dish,
a flurry of kicks
mixed with groin stomping,
and lastly, for dessert,
I want you to spit
in my face and tell me
how naughty I've been.
[MEIKO] Anything other than
food is out of the question.
Denied.
[KIYOSHI] Two more days,
then we're out of here.
[CHIYO]
"It's Chiyo. How are you?
Stupid question,
I'm sure you're miserable.
If you're able to write a reply,
leave a little bit
of bread on your tray.
and try to stuff
your message inside it."
[KIYOSHI] I will, Chiyo.
What an awesome girl!
Dammit, I don't wanna
split up with her!
What's this? Comrades!
Kiyoshi has received an
illicit missive from a lady!
So? Doesn't matter now.
[JOE coughs]
[KIYOSHI] He's right.
This is all over, anyway.
Over? How right you are,
my good man.
Perhaps, using this method,
we'll nullify
our sentence
once and for all.
[BOYS gasp]
Our means of escape
is right here.
Wait, what're you saying?
Have you only been
pretending to go insane?
[GAKUTO chuckles]
You mean you've been
plotting this whole time?
Hell yeah!
[GAKUTO chuckles]
Hurry up and tell us
your master plan!
We'll camouflage ourselves
with the leftover food,
and escape unseen!
Some soup for me. You mix
in with the breadcrumbs!
Join me, brothers!
We'll climb atop
scallion stallions,
and ride away from this
oppressive hell-hole!
[groans]
[KIYOSHI] Great plan,
Gakuto. Incredible.
[SHINGO]
Just brilliant.
Two days,
and then he's gone.
[KIYOSHI]
Dear Chiyo. Thank you.
And now, farewell.
Kiyoshi, stay strong.
We'll figure something out.
It can't end like this.
[MEIKO panting]
[yells]
[CHIYO]
Huh?
[MEIKO] Each requested item
cooked to perfection.
Enjoy your last meal.
[SHINGO]
Damn, that smells good!
[hollers] I, myself,
have chosen the most
scrumptious dinner
of them all!
For real though.
Are you seriously
gonna eat that?
Snap out of it, bro.
They're freakin' bugs!
[JOE] You really
shouldn't do it, dude.
[ANDRE] Don't you
have a weak tummy?
Shut up, fools! The
grasshoppers are all mine!
Wait. It's so clear to me now.
You're trying to take away my
delicious dinner, aren't you?
Well so be it.
Have at thee,
ye curséd scalawags!
Knock it off, geek!
[groans]
[MEIKO]
Shut up and eat!
[KIYOSHI] I've never had
meat this tender before.
It looks so good.
[JOE]
I know, mine's perfect!
[SHINGO] Well, at least
our last night here
isn't gonna suck.
Another missive without
promise for a future?
Goodness gracious, Kiyoshi!
Is sex the only thing
on your lewd mind?
[retching]
Dude, are you okay?
The hell were those
grasshoppers loaded with?
An epiphany!
From on high!
A means of escape has struck
me like a bolt of lightning!
We don't have any
grasshopper-sized saddles.
[GAKUTO] There's no time
for ludicrous musings.
Now hurry up
and finish your meals!
[retching]
What sort of disgusting
meal have they given me?
[JOE] Fried grasshoppers
over rice, dude?
Indeed! But why
serve them to me?
Have I not undergone
enough torture?
What the hell
are you going on about?
That's what you ordered
for your last meal, bro.
[GAKUTO] I have no
recollection of those events!
Wait, what?
So does that mean.
You're back to sort-of normal?
What is normal?
Certainly not this
six-legged eccentric fare!
Forget that nonsense!
Gakuto, you've come up
with a plan, right?
Yes. Sir Kiyoshi, when I
espied your note from Chiyo,
a thought occurred to me.
One final gambit
we must now employ.
[MARI] Are you working on
something, Mister Chairman?
[grumbles] Some miscellaneous
pieces of business
needed seeing to. So.
Of course. Working hard.
Very hard, yes!
Best of luck with that.
Just a reminder, those scumbag
boys will be expelled tomorrow.
I ask you not to delay
in affixing your seal
to the documents.
[CHAIRMAN] So the day has
finally come. Very well.
Furthermore, I ask you
to refrain from seeing to
"miscellaneous pieces
of business" at school.
It's beyond disgusting.
Please excuse me.
[door squeaks, thuds]
[CHAIRMAN] Hmmm.
[door squeaks, thuds]
[gasps]
I should probably invest
in some blinds soon!
[GAKUTO] And that's
my plan in a nutshell.
Come tomorrow, we shall
set it in motion, my brothers.
[chuckles]
It would seem my plan's
brilliance is so astounding,
it has rendered
the lot of you speechless!
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
[GAKUTO]
Hm?
Look, man. Any way you
cut it, it's still crazy.
No matter the insanity,
we must keep trying!
There's no more time!
We're getting
expelled tomorrow!
Uh! Tomorrow?
That much time
can't possibly have elapsed!
What are we to do?
However you slice it,
my proposal needs
at least two more days to work!
There's nothing
left to do, bro.
We're outta time.
If we are indeed
to be expelled tomorrow,
then this plan hasn't a chance.
Well. I hope you
enjoyed your meals.
There's some paper work you
germ-farms need to fill out.
Your withdrawal requests.
[BOYS gasp]
It's funny. I doubt that
school life will be
quite as lively once the five
of you are out of here.
[KIYOSHI] Is it just me,
or does it almost sound like
she's going to miss us
when we're gone?
And good riddance,
in my opinion.
[gasps]
[GAKUTO] Her body
quivers with repression.
I would have never guessed
she'd be so sentimental.
Thou art not alone in
thy tears, your ladyship,
we too shall never forget
the memories forged
during the last several weeks
[MEIKO] Dip-shit!
You dare to waste the food
I worked so hard to prepare!
[yells]
Now, I believe
you turd-cutters
have paperwork to complete.
[KIYOSHI] Guess I read
that situation wrong.
So much for sympathy!
[GAKUTO groans]
How's your
head feel, Gakuto?
If I'm being honest,
not so good, actually.
No time for self-pity.
I say, let's get the gears
turning on your plan!
It's impossible. Put simply,
yours truly's plan
needs more time
than we have been given.
We'll come up with something.
Yeah? Like what, man?
We're kinda out of
options here.
We will simply write a plea
directly to the Chairman!
[ANDRE]
To the Chairman?
That's right.
We'll write an appeal and
stick it on one of our forms.
Then we can speak to him
in person about this
"DTO" trap set by the
Underground Student Council.
[GAKUTO] Of course! That could
buy us a couple days
while the Chairman
conducts an investigation.
A couple extra days
would come in handy.
Which would give us
enough time to follow
Gakuto's plan, and track
down hard evidence of DTO!
Wise up. We'll just
get shot down again.
[KIYOSHI] Don't think
like that, Shingo!
We can't accept getting kicked
out of school lying down!
Not until we've
made it to summer.
Until the wet t-shirt contest.
When you talk about
giving up, all I hear is
"I don't want to see nipples
through transparent,
clingy clothing!"
But I do, man!
I want it more than
anything in the world!
What'd you say?
Sound off like you got a pair!
I wanna see 'em!
Perky nips poking through
wet t-shirts
like nature intended!
Like pencil erasers
from heaven!
[KIYOSHI] I know. That's why
we've gotta keep the faith, man.
[indistinctive chatter]
[HANA]
Hm. How strange.
It feels like I've
forgotten something.
[gasps]
That one day.
In the nurse's office.
What was it? And why
did I think back to it
when I saw these mushrooms?
Have you bitches
filled out those forms yet?
Yes, ma'am.
[MEIKO]
What's this shit?
It's for the Chairman. Madam.
You wrote a fucking appeal?
[KIYOSHI] I know it
won't do us any good,
but we wanted to send this note
as a sort of official apology.
Please, Madam. Give us
one last shot at dignity!
[MEIKO] Ha! How adorable.
I'll put it on the fridge.
All right.
I'll take it to him.
[BOYS] We are
forever in your debt!
[MEIKO grunts]
It's late.
[GAKUTO] I'm afraid our
breakfast isn't coming.
And yet hunger isn't the only
reaction taking place in my gut.
Think he'll come down here?
Assuming Miss Ball-breaker
gave him the note
in the first place.
I really don't think
this is gonna work guys.
We are gonna be fine!
Even if it is just blind hope!
Then why hasn't the
Chairman dragged his ass
down here yet?
No clue.
[KIYOSHI] It isn't him.
Does that mean?
As previously scheduled,
your expulsions
become official as of today.
Form a line and follow me.
You are hereby ordered
to return to the dorms
and retrieve any personal
effects before you leave.
This is your
last work detail.
Erase any sign of your presence.
I don't want so much as
a single hair to get left
behind by you dumb pricks.
[GAKUTO]
It can't be!
How could you be so cruel,
Madam Vice President?
Tearing up our appeal
so callously?
Deceiver! You gave us
your word of honor!
The time for talking is over.
Now shut up and walk.
[HANA] Today's the day those
idiots get kicked out.
I guess I won't
get my payback
on that dumbass
Kiyoshi after all.
Whatever, I'll just bash him
in the stomach real hard
before he leaves
school for good.
That's weird.
This mushroom is making me
think of passing out
in the nurse's office too.
But why?
[HANA gasps]
Almost. Got it.
[MARI] This is the beginning
of the end for you.
I hope you enjoyed
your last meal
and it gave you
some sense of closure.
Any final words
from the condemned?
[KIYOSHI]
Hmph.
[CHAIRMAN] Any last words should
be directed towards me,
shouldn't they?
It's part of my job.
Agreed?
Hello, Father.
What the hell
is he doing here?
I know for a fact
he didn't get that note!
[MEIKO gasps]
[KIYOSHI chuckles]
[MEIKO]
What did you snot-nachos do?
[CHAIRMAN] Come. Let's
head back to the prison.
I need to have
a word with you boys.
I could go for a hot
cup of tea. Please!
[ANDRE]
Oh! Yes sir.
So what made
the Chairman want to
come down to our dungeon?
[GAKUTO] I haven't
the foggiest notion.
The Vice President ripped our
appeal letter into pieces.
[MEIKO]
Sneaky little rats.
I ripped up their little letter,
but it still got through.
--A decoy.
--A decoy?
Yep. I wrote the legit
appeal on my
withdrawal request form.
Then made a dummy note.
That's what got ripped up.
I figured she'd get rid
of the obvious note,
and that it would
go to her head.
Never thinking
to check the contents
of the requests themselves.
Positively genius!
Much akin to the
clever stratagem
employed by the brilliant
and shrewd Pang Tong during
the Battle of Red Cliffs!
[KIYOSHI] I'll have to take your
word for it on that one, man.
Pray tell, what did you
write on your form
to catch his eye?
Oh. Uh.
I came here because
I got your message.
Before we start,
let's get one thing straight.
I've made some mistakes,
but kissing a blackmailer's
ass wasn't one, boy!
[BOYS]
Blackmail?
[KIYOSHI] Must be something
he's been trying to hide.
Guess I picked
the right hot button.
I had to go with what I
witnessed on the other side
of the wall if I really
wanted to get his attention.
It's the trump card I've been
saving to persuade
the Chairman to
postpone our expulsion!
Damn it. What're they
talking about in there?
[gasps]
Hana?
Where is he?
Where's that bastard, Kiyoshi?
Dickhead!
[KIYOSHI]
You've got it wrong.
I only mentioned that to make
sure we got this conversation.
The fact of the matter is
the USC set us up.
[CHAIRMAN] Yes. I've heard
this all before.
But you have no credible
evidence to verify
this accusation, do you?
[KIYOSHI]
Not at the moment, no.
One more week!
No, three more days should give
us enough time to find proof!
[CHAIRMAN] I understand.
You want more time
to gather evidence and
build a case for yourselves.
And to that end,
you need to have
your expulsions
postponed, correct?
[CHAIRMAN] Well then.
Between booties and breasts,
which do you prefer? Speak.
Who, me?
Which do I prefer?
Buttocks or breasts. Well?
Given the choice,
yours truly
would have to go with boobs--
Hold on a second guys.
Why don't you sit back
while I field his question?
Go right ahead.
[KIYOSHI] They don't
know it, but the Chairman's
putting us to a test!
I have to remember!
Which one was it?
Evita! Argentina!
[KIYOSHI gasps]
Booties are what we love!
Ha! You have
answered wisely.
[BOYS gasp]
[CHAIRMAN] Allow me
to share with you a motto
I've believed in
throughout my life.
"Nobody who is
an ass-man can be all bad."
Agreed?
[KIYOSHI]
Freakin' jackpot!
So then, does that
mean you'll postpone
our expulsions, honorable
Master Chairman?
No, no. I cannot
in good conscience
give my approval yet. After all,
your claims to be ass-men
could have been disingenuous
scheming, who knows?
Why did you choose butts?
Well? A true ass-man
would already know
the answer to this riddle.
Breasts are great fun, so why
did you pick asses? Speak.
[KIYOSHI] Could answering
this one question determine
the course of
the rest of our lives?
Of course! Now I see.
This question's like
the riddle of the Sphinx!
What has four legs
in the morning,
two legs at noon,
and three legs in the evening?
That's the way the riddle goes,
am I right? Gakuto?
Indeed. And according
to the legend,
those who answered
the question incorrectly
got killed and eaten by the
giant lion-pharaoh monstrosity!
And our answer's gonna kind
of determine the same thing.
Answer wrong,
and we're expelled!
[KIYOSHI] But then,
on the other hand,
if we answer the question right,
we'll be rewarded with survival!
Ah!
Way to stay positive, Kiyoshi!
We could change everything
with a right answer!
If we all put
our heads together,
we'll figure
this out in no time!
[CHAIRMAN]
I'm afraid not.
[BOYS gasp]
No deliberation.
When discussing
one's personal tastes,
common-denominator answers are
devoid of any deeper meaning.
What is it about booties that
enflames your inner desire?
The booties demand
you speak for them. Obey.
Kiyoshi, you're the one
who said you liked butts.
So you'll be the one
to answer. Understood?
[MEIKO]
Take it easy, Hana!
[HANA] Move it! Let me
cut that creep to bits!
No way! You aren't going
anywhere with that knife!
What's gotten into you, anyway?
Nothing got in!
But it got way
too close for comfort!
Don't you see? His and my--
We were so close.
I'll kill that jerk!
I'll kill the shit out of him,
and then I'll off myself!
[MEIKO] I can't allow Hana
to go on like this.
The Underground Student
Council can't lose face
in front of the Student Body!
[HANA gasps]
Ugh!
[MEIKO]
Hana. Please forgive me.
Now then.
[KIYOSHI] It's no use!
I can't come up with anything!
I mean. I personally like
tits more than ass,
if I'm being honest.
[KIYOSHI] I've got a million
things to say about gazongas.
They have nipples!
And make milk!
And are way
squishier than butts!
Uh! It's hopeless! I keep
trying, but I can't think of
a single reason why butts
are better than boobs!
Do you know the answer
that the hero Oedipus
gave to solve the Sphinx's
riddle in the end?
The answer is "man."
First man learns
to crawl on all fours,
then he stands
unaided on two legs.
and once old, uses a cane
making three legs!
Sir Kiyoshi, you must
become our own Oedipal hero
in our time of need!
Gakuto. No offense,
but could you not talk?
Your wealth of knowledge
is only going to distract me.
Ah! Not my intention!
[KIYOSHI] Hold on. Maybe I'm
just over thinking it.
Of course! There's no logic
behind preference!
Just like when the
mountain climber was asked
why he climbed
the mountain and he said
"Because the mountain
was there."
The same could be said
about butts, couldn't it?
Perhaps you need
a little hint to push you
in the right direction, fine.
In my travels, I've asked
this same question
to people from
all different cultures.
And I've been given
disappointing answers by most.
The worst answer being
"there's no logic behind
one's preference." Bull.
"No reason."
"C'est la vie."
And of course, the tired,
George Mallory-inspired
"Because the butt
is there" sound bite.
But if you say
you prefer butts without
a reason behind it, you
proclaim your own phony-ness.
You've had plenty of time
to justify your decision.
I think it's time you shared
your answer. Don't you?
[KIYOSHI] It's no use. I got
nothing. Drawing a blank!
[KIYOSHI] Butt cheeks? The hell
is a butt doing in the window?
Wait, that's no butt!
Those are
Boobs! The Vice President's
giant ass-like boobs!
[MEIKO] What are those chump-ass
losers talking about in there?
[KIYOSHI] They're so similar.
Part of human development.
The evolution of the species.
They're both round.
Boobs and butts.
Butts and boobs.
Butts. Boobs!
[KIYOSHI]
Mankind.
When the first men
walked on all fours,
what was right in their
faces but the posterior!
Then, when mankind started
walking on two legs,
we stopped having
round butts in our faces
all day every day
and to take their place
something new appeared in
front of our faces. Titties!
Women's breasts continued
growing throughout the ages,
taking the place of the butt
as a carnal focus!
But the original source
of desire was the ba-donk.
Boobs are
a substitute, frankly!
Tits are merely a pale
imitation trying to take glory
from the buttocks! If asked
what I'd rather have,
a copy or the original,
I would choose
the original, naturally!
Boobs have evolved
to jut out in front of us
as a greeting to the world.
While the buttocks remain
hidden around the back
waiting their turn,
coyly drawing attention,
in true erotic grace--
That's enough.
You have proven to me,
beyond a shadow of a doubt,
that you are a bona fide
ass-man, Kiyoshi.
A well thought out answer,
kindred spirit of mine.
[BOYS gasp]
Master Chairman,
does that mean?
[CHAIRMAN] Like I said,
nobody who is an ass-man
can be all bad.
Expulsion postponed, now!
Uh. What the hell?
[CHAIRMAN] However,
the maximum reprieve
I can grant you
is a single day. Sorry.
But that is much
too brief, your honor!
Couldn't we have three?
If a man is earnest,
it is possible for him
to accomplish great tasks
in a single day. Ciao.
You've postponed
their expulsion, Chairman.
Explain yourself!
I have come to the decision
that there is enough here
to question
whether their expulsion
is actually justified or not.
Their expulsion's
a matter of policy!
What's your angle?
[CHAIRMAN] Madam President.
It's unbecoming of someone
in your position to callously
challenge an educator!
Or are you implying that
granting a one-day extension
might be problematic
for you? That it?
[grunts]
I think I'll
take my leave, now.
Well then.
Thank you very much.
Your help was much appreciated,
Madam Vice President.
Huh?
We somehow managed to
get through that unscathed.
But all we got is
a one day extension?
This is no time to mope.
Up until that meeting,
we were on our way
to the chopping block!
But from the depths
of the darkness,
came a light at
the end of the tunnel.
And though it appears
small from where we stand,
it is a beacon that will
guide us out of this pit!
That was beautiful.
Kiyoshi's right, man.
I'm in it to win it.
We just have to make it
beyond the light.
That's where our
future lies. And also
[BOYS]
The wet t-shirt contest!
There's no more time
for self-pity!
[BOYS]
Hm!
Now, my brothers,
let us set yours truly's
final plan into motion,
without further delay!
And we shall make sure
it succeeds!
[BOYS]
Yeah!
[MARI] How did they get
their punishment postponed?
And why did Kiyoshi thank you
after the Chairman left?
[MEIKO]
I don't know, Madam.
Not good enough.
You were listening in
on what they were saying
in there, weren't you?
Well, Ma'am.
I heard their conversation,
but was completely lost.
They were--
I only heard them
talk about admiring butts.
In any case,
it's just one more day
of keeping a close
eye on them right?
[HANA] Madam President.
Don't worry.
Just let me handle
the boys' final day.
I won't let those
mouth-breathers
get away with anything.
[KIYOSHI] Next time,
on Prison School:
"Eryngii Brockovich."