The Brady Bunch (1969) s01e10 Episode Script

1
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone
Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
That's the way they all
became the Brady bunch ♪
The Brady bunch
The Brady bunch
That's the way they became
The Brady bunch.
TV NARRATOR: And so,
Cinderella lived happily ever after,
in spite of her mean stepmother
and all the terrible things
her mean stepmother made her do,
like cleaning the chimney
and sweeping out the fireplace.
Now, next week, boys and girls
Who cares?
Why did you turn it off?
Maybe it wasn't over about Cinderella.
When they talk about next week
it's over.
I loved Cinderella.
Didn't you?
No.
Why not?
The whole thing about
that mean stepmother
boy, they can be mean.
You're lucky, on account
of having my mother
for your stepmother.
She's not mean.
So far.
Well, I'm not worried,
and I got a stepfather.
Whoever heard of a mean stepfather?
It's only the mother
who's famous for mean.
Now, do you think
my mother would ever do
all the rotten things
Cinderella's stepmother did?
No, I guess not.
Bobby, dear, would you do me a favor
save Alice some work
and clean out the fireplace?
Now, I think if we can just
shorten these sleeves a bit
that'll eliminate the rips.
This was Greg's.
Oh, I know, dear, but it'll look beautiful.
It'll still be Greg's.
No, it won't it'll be yours.
Wait till you see
what your mother does with it.
In the store, everything's new.
In the store, everything costs money.
Hey, wait till you see
how I fix the knees of Peter's pants
leather patches, just like hunters wear.
They'll still be hand-me-downs.
Oh, is that what's stuck in your craw?
Maybe.
What's a craw?
It's just an expression.
It means, "what's bothering you?"
They'll look brand-new, Bobby.
How come Greg and Peter aren't here
getting hand-me-downs?
They're over at Gordy's house.
They didn't even say good-bye.
Well, you were watching
a television show with Cindy.
They could have said good-bye
during the commercial.
You're right, sweetheart.
They should have said good-bye.
Hey, how about trying on
these pants with this shirt, okay?
Go ahead.
I wonder why Bobby seems
so upset this evening.
Well, maybe something
happened at school.
Okay, which one of Marcia's sweaters
do I end up with this year?
Give her my blue one.
Your blue one's faded.
We'll dip it peacock blue.
It'll be gorgeous.
Swell.
Give her my green one.
I'll keep the blue one.
You girls let your mother work it out.
How about yours, Mom?
When am I going
to start getting your sweaters?
Oh, a little later, dear
after you've filled out a bit.
Mother, may I remind you
there's a male in the room!
Oh, I didn't hear a word you said.
Then how come you answered?
Kids these days are just too darn smart.
After we finish, can we go to the movies
with Nancy and Carla Dittmeyer?
Their dad's going to go there
and pick them up
and then drive them home.
Well, I suppose so.
It is Friday night.
Okay, dear?
What kind of movie?
It's one that's rated
"acceptable for children."
It must have been made before 1950.
As soon as the movie's
over we'll come home.
Good.
You guys going to the movies?
Hi and bye, small-fry.
See you later.
Can't I go, too?
Sweetheart, you're too young
to stay up so late.
When you're older
Besides, we couldn't take you
looking like that.
JAN: Of course not
who'd look at the screen?
( Cackling )
Hey, those pants are great.
I don't need this mop if you promise
to slide around the floor for a while.
You're making fun of me, too.
I wouldn't make fun of you.
I was just kidding.
I didn't think that was funny.
Well, even Bob Hope
misses once in a while.
Just a minute, sweetie.
What's the matter?
I got something in my craw.
Your craw?
Well, that's what Dad says.
Well, whatever it is, you can tell me.
After all, I've known you
since the day you were born.
Say, that's right, Alice.
You're my real housekeeper
and you're only
a step-housekeeper to them.
Hmm?
The girls
you're their step-housekeeper
and nobody likes steps
as good as they like
the real ones.
You're coming through, but
it's not making much sense.
It's like stepmothers
they like their own kids better than steps
don't they?
Where'd you ever get an idea like that?
A stepmother can love her new children
just as much as she does her own.
So can step-housekeepers.
Uh-uh
Cinderella's stepmother was real mean.
I saw it on television with my own eyes.
Hi, Dad.
Hi.
Whatcha doing?
Well, I'm fixing Cindy's cradle
before her doll wants to take a nap.
You said you'd fix my bike.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I will, Bob.
That's kind of a big job.
I'll do that, um Saturday.
Do that tomorrow.
Oh, don't worry.
You're trusty steed will be
riding the range again, partner.
Bobby, you having trouble in school?
No.
Chester Brown picking on you again?
No.
He doesn't pick on me anymore.
Not since I told him my father
was twice as big as his father.
Here, shake.
Well, I tell you, they don't make
cradles the way they used to.
Dad?
Mm-hmm?
Are fairy tales ever really real?
No, of course not.
Not really real at all?
Well, there might have been some
truth to them at one time
and then somebody took
that one true little part
made a big fairy tale out of it.
You mean like Cinderella's stepmother
could have been a living person
and been rotten and mean
and somebody made up the pumpkin
and the glass slipper
and the fairy godmother
and all that other junk?
Yeah, something like that.
I'm afraid that story's really
given stepmothers a bad name.
You take your mother, for instance.
She loves you boys
as much as she loves
her own daughters.
Are you sure?
What do you mean am I sure?
Sure I'm sure.
Your mother and I have six children now
and we love them all the same.
And you think that's what's
been bothering Bobby?
Well, he told me he'd seen Cinderella
on television tonight.
He's all shook up about stepmothers.
Oh, but that's silly, Alice.
Bobby knows I love him.
Mrs. Brady, you know
kids get the strangest
ideas in their heads.
Anyone would think you'd asked him
to sweep out the fireplace lately.
Oh, Alice
Mike
is that meeting very important tonight?
Well, every meeting is important, honey.
More important than Bobby?
What kind of a question is that?
Honey, please be late for the meeting.
What's this all about?
I think I know what's bothering Bobby.
What's more, I think I have
a solution to the problem.
What does this have
to do with my meeting?
I want you to go
to the bicycle shop with me now.
It's open late Fridays,
and we can give the bike
to Bobby tonight.
Before his birthday?
Because of Cinderella.
Cinderella everybody's
talking about Cinderella.
I'll explain on the way.
Remember, not a word to anyone.
We'll surprise Bobby.
Then you'll go on to the meeting.
The heck with the meeting.
If it's that important to Bobby,
they can get along without me.
Want a glass of milk?
Nuh-uh.
An apple?
Uh-uh.
What did you look in the refrigerator for?
Nothing.
Sure is quiet around here.
Hey, you know why
it's quiet around here?
Because there isn't any noise.
Nothing like a lack
of noise to make it quiet.
Did Dad go to his meeting?
I don't know I guess so.
Hey, you know what kind
of cookies we've got?
Your favorite.
The marshmallow kind
covered with chocolate
Where's Mom?
You really love these, Bobby.
Isn't Mom here either?
Well, she had to go out
for a little while.
You mean, nobody's here?
Well, what do I look like,
the invisible woman?
Everybody went out
and nobody said good-bye.
Well, maybe you were
busy when they left.
I wasn't too busy to say good-bye.
That's only one word, or maybe
two words I keep forgetting.
Your mother will be back in a little while.
Where did she go?
I don't know exactly.
BOBBY: Come on, Tiger.
You're the only one around here
who cares about me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey come here.
Believe me, sweetheart
you're getting yourself
all upset about nothing.
Everybody in this house loves you
your mother, your father
your brothers, your sisters
and Alice.
We all love you.
When everybody leaves
and nobody says good-bye
that ain't love.
Come on, Tiger.
You still like me.
I'll show them.
I'm not going to stay
where I'm not wanted.
I'm going to run away.
That's what I'm going to do run away.
Hi, what you doing?
Nothing.
Greg home, too?
Yeah, he's downstairs watching TV.
You seen my bubblegum?
Nope.
I'm only taking things from my drawer.
Taking things for what?
It's a secret.
That's your suitcase.
I know it.
I'm packing my things.
What for?
I told you, it's a secret.
I can't tell anybody.
I'm not anybody.
I'm your brother.
Well
I won't tell anyone else.
I can keep my mouth shut look!
Okay I'm going to run away.
Wow!
Did you ask Dad?
If you ask, you're not running away.
Yeah.
Where you going to go?
To a place nobody knows about.
Not even me.
How long will you be gone?
Maybe all my life.
Maybe longer.
Maybe we ought to tell Greg about this.
You said you wouldn't tell anybody.
Okay, I won't tell anybody.
I'm sorry.
I won't tell anybody.
Won't tell what?
I told you, I can't tell you.
I promised Bobby.
The only reason he told me
is because I'm his brother.
Well, so am I, dummy!
Hey, yeah that's right.
Now, if he can tell you
then you can tell me.
Bobby's going to run away from home.
Run away?
For real?
He's upstairs packing.
For real.
But we can't let him.
How can we stop him if nobody knows?
We'll have to think of something.
Eggs
cheese
orange juice
Hi, Alice.
Hi, Greg.
You kids should have
your own supermarket.
We need more eggs,
more cheese more milk.
I better start ordering an extra quart.
Well, you'll have plenty
of milk after tomorrow.
After tomorrow
what's that supposed to mean?
Oh, nothing.
I have this teeny tiny feeling
you're trying not to tell me something.
It's a secret.
A secret I can't tell anybody in the world.
Well, those are the only kind
worth listening to proceed.
Sorry, I can't tell you, Alice.
Not exactly.
Beat around the bush a little.
If I figure it out for myself
then you're not giving
away the secret, right?
Right.
One of the kids in this family,
who shall be nameless
is going to run away from home.
And it's not me or Peter
or Marcia or Jan or Cindy.
Marcia, Jan, Cindy, Greg, Peter, Bobby!
Bobby is going to run away from home?
I didn't say I was just
beating around the bush.
Your mom and dad, I've got to tell them.
Don't forget, Alice, it's a secret.
That's okay everybody knows
I can't keep a secret.
That's what I was counting on.
I wonder where your folks went.
I'll try the Steven's.
Well, what do you think, honey?
Do you like it?
Mm, yeah especially the color.
With his eyes!
And with a few little extras
What kind of extras?
Oh, for instance, a license
with the kid's name on it.
For a buck.
Well, wonderful idea!
That's good.
What's his name?
Bobby.
Well, thanks anyway, Mrs. Korngold.
I thought they might have gone
to your place for a bit.
I'll try the Merediths.
Bye.
SALESMAN: Is it a
beaut or is it a beaut?
I'd say it's a beaut.
Now the only thing left
are side-view mirrors.
Side-view mirrors!
That'll complete the picture.
Believe me, folks
a kid who gets a bike like this
will go absolutely wild.
Take my word.
Whoever gives it to him
will win him over for life.
Win him over?
Mike
I know exactly what you're thinking.
This is bribery.
Exactly.
We can't give that bike to Bobby now.
Maybe later for his birthday,
but not to win his love.
Let's go.
H-hey what about the bike?
Hold it for us.
We'll be back in about a month.
The name is Brady.
Bye, and thanks for those magic words.
Magic words?
Hello, Mrs. Feiffer, this is Alice.
Are Mr. And Mrs. Brady there?
Oh, they didn't tell me
where they were going.
I wanted to ask them something.
Thanks all the same.
Is Bobby still packing?
He just switched to a bigger suitcase.
Yeah, mine.
Try to keep an eye on him.
I got to find your folks before he leaves.
( Door opens )
Thank heavens, they're home.
You two wait here.
If somebody has to squeal
I don't want it to be his brothers.
Thanks, Alice.
Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Brady.
Hi, Alice.
Hi, everything all right?
Oh, yes, everything's fine, peachy keen.
With one tiny possible little exception.
Something's wrong.
Nobody's hurt or sick, but, uh
But what?
One of your little chickadees
is about to fly the coop.
Fly the?
Take it on the lam, hit the road
Bobby.
Without mentioning any names, yes.
Oh, Mike
Where's Bobby now?
According to reliable sources
he's upstairs packing.
I've been phoning you all over town.
Thanks, Alice.
I think we better go right up to him.
Let's be careful how we handle this.
I think you ought to talk to him first.
And then?
I have an idea.
As soon as I get settled
somewhere, I'll send for you.
I'd like to take you now, Tiger,
but I can't carry all this
and hold on to your leash, too.
( Knock at door )
Hi, Bobby.
Oh hi, Dad.
Am I interrupting something?
In a way.
Before you got back I wanted to be gone.
Gone?
You're going somewhere, are you?
Well, yeah
I'm kind of running away.
Oh
I see
Why?
Lots of reasons.
I'd tell you, but it's getting late
and I'd better be going.
Don't you like it here anymore?
No, sir, not as much as I used to.
Well, don't worry about it.
You know when a person
isn't happy where he is
he has every right to look for a place
where he can be happier.
You know what beats me is
how very wrong we were.
We all love you
and we thought you loved us, too.
Oh, I do.
It's just
well, I better be going.
Yes
Here, I'll, uh give you a hand.
You're going to let me go?
Yeah.
Well, if that's what you really want.
You will write, of course,
and keep in touch, won't you?
Sure. Soon as I know where I'll be.
What about money?
I got $9.86.
Well a lot of famous men
started out with less than that.
Of course, you'll get more
when you go to work.
Work?
You can't keep running all the time.
You're going to have
to stop and go to work.
What can you do, Bob?
Well
I can finger-paint and glue things.
Well, I guess with that kind of experience
you can find an opening someplace.
Lots of luck.
I thought you'd be mad.
Why? Would you want
me to stay around
if I didn't want to?
You have to.
You're the father.
That's very true
but I don't want any son of mine
staying when he doesn't want to.
Bye, Dad.
I'll walk you down.
Good-bye, son.
Good-bye, dad.
Mom
I heard you were leaving.
Yeah.
Well, why don't you let me take
the big suitcase and you can carry mine?
Where are you going?
Well, I'm not going
to let you go away alone.
That's a big world out there.
I'm going with you.
What about the other kids?
You going to leave them?
Your father can take care of them
unless you don't
want me to go with you.
Mom, would you really go with me?
Really, Bobby.
Nobody said good-bye to me or anything
and I didn't think anybody cared.
Oh, sweetheart, everybody cares.
And I'll bet you your baseball cards
you can't guess who cares the most.
You?
Even though I'm only a step?
Listen, the only steps in this house
are those
the ones that lead up to your bedroom.
So how about marching
right back up there?
Hey, Dad!
Mom and me are back home again.
Good, because that's
where you both belong.
Isn't it wonderful, Mike?
Talk about a happy ending.
Yeah, Bobby went to
sleep as happy as a bird.
Darn that Cinderella anyway.
You know that's what
started all the trouble.
Maybe we should write a nasty letter
to the fairy-tale control board.
Well, thank goodness
the other fairy tales aren't like that.
( Sighs )
Good night, dear.
Good night, honey.
Mommy, Daddy.
Cindy, what's wrong?
What's the matter, sweetheart?
It's Henry.
Henry?
That bullfrog I found today.
I've kissed him twice already
and he still hasn't changed into a prince.
He's just a plain old bullfrog.
Oh, sweetheart