The Hawk (2026) s01e10 Episode Script
Pickle
[poignant music rises]
["Big Black Cock" by Skum playing]
[Dan Hicks] Welcome back
to Northern California
and the scenic coastline
of the Monterey Peninsula
for the final day of the 126th US Open.
And if you're joining us just now,
you have missed four
of the most dramatic days in golf history,
and it begins with Lonnie Hawkins.
Kevin, what can you
possibly say about this guy?
I mean, the man is playing
with a broken hand.
Golden Fisk started the day three back
and now sits in the clubhouse
with a one-shot lead over Lance Hawkins
and two strokes over the elder Hawkins.
He'll just have to wait and see
if he's going to be a two-time champion
or enter a playoff
with either one of these men.
- Roger Maltbie is standing by…
- Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Let's go, Lancey!
Let's go!
- Sorry, that's my boy right there, so…
- Oh.
You, uh… you know one of the golfers?
I train Lance Hawkins,
and he is my best friend.
- She knows nothing about golf.
- [Jerry] Seriously?
I'm in pharmaceutical sales,
and we're one of the sponsors, so…
Okurrr! [laughs]
If my boy birdies this hole,
straight to the playoff.
- Mmm…
- You know what that means? [beeping]
Ching! Cha-ching!
[singsong] Money time! [laughs]
I'm rooting for Lonnie Hawkins.
[imitates buzzer] No.
He's in the middle of an epic
father-son battle. It's Shakespearean.
[trilling, splats] Let's not do that.
Maybe let's just keep it down
at this table. I'm sorry. Just forget it.
You should close out your tab, okay?
[singsong] Let's watch
some fucking golf! Let's go!
[Roger Maltbie] This is such
a tough tee shot here at 18 at Pebble.
Water all down the left.
Got to get the ball in the fairway.
[majestic music rising]
[crowd cheering and clapping]
[Roger] Oh, smashed right in the middle.
He'll be able to get to the green in two.
This is gonna put
a lot of pressure on his dad, Lonnie.
I might have to just eagle this hole
and win this thing right now.
[Lonnie scoffs]
Cocky little shit, isn't he?
Ah, Sam, my hand's bleeding again.
Wrap me.
[majestic music builds slowly]
Let's get it on.
[hawk screeches]
- [music fades]
- [cheers and applause]
That's how it's done!
- They call him the Hawk ♪
- Hawk! ♪
He's a golfer ♪
The greatest golfer in the world! ♪
Well, look at you,
basking in the sun, huh?
Ah, I feel like I deserve it.
And, you know, as soon as I sign those
Mike's Hard Lemonade papers tomorrow,
off we go! Rio de Janeiro! Paris!
Wherever there's no golf, please.
- [laughs]
- Please, God.
Well, you have worked your tail off,
and I am very proud of you
and all your industrious endeavors.
Mmm. Thank you.
Feels so good.
You know what else feels really good?
Seeing me get better?
I haven't watched one second of golf
this entire week. Not Lance. Not Lonnie.
Not my new business partner, Golden.
And it feels like heaven.
Stacy, I want all
that heaven allows for you.
Aww…
Your happiness is the balm
that soothes my soul.
- Mm.
- Facing death has, uh…
put me in a meditative mood.
[Stacy] Mm-hm.
And I can no longer hold back my feelings.
Stacen Grumwell Hawkins,
will you take my hand in marriage?
[chuckles softly]
Radford!
Oh my God, that's so silly, Radford.
Really? [laughs]
- I want you to consider it.
- [laughing loudly]
[Radford] That's all I ask.
[laughter intensifies]
- Oh, you're so sweet!
- [quietly] Well…
- [ball whizzing]
- [crowd cheering]
Feel that, Dad? It's a little breezy.
Might want to club up.
- Go easy on it. Stay out of the wind.
- Your tricks aren't working, son.
Can't win the mental game against a man
whose mentality's been forged in battle.
- There we go.
- Sit, sit, sit, sit…
[Dan] Lonnie Hawkins with
a nearly impossible putt for eagle.
He's gonna make the playoff.
And then he'll win.
He could be four back
and need a hole-in-one, and he'll do it.
- Talking about the Hawk?
- Yes, I am talking about the Hawk.
What a story, huh?
I got a story. It's a story about
a little boy from Yuba City, California.
- [chuckles]
- Lonnie Hawkins.
- Oh yeah.
- No, not him.
This is another boy.
A boy whose mother abandoned him.
Moved across town and started
a whole new family with a different dad.
Now, this motherless boy worked hard.
He was a javelin thrower.
- Javelin?
- [Anton sighs] Yes.
He became a state champion
in the javelin throw.
But Yuba City already had a favorite son.
So this boy left town,
and one day he sees
this pretty girl in a string bikini.
Now, this boy, who had never
had much luck with women,
walks up to her and says, outright,
"Would you marry me?"
She said yes.
And theirs was a life of bliss.
- Alright.
- He bought her a beautiful home.
And what did she do?
She left him.
She walked out on that golf course,
in the middle of the night,
naked as the day she was born,
and diddled this boy's half-brother
until the sun came up.
[laughing quietly]
[chuckling]
Hey, Oswald!
Lonnie Hawkins is this guy's half-brother,
and Lonnie fucked his wife!
[cackles]
Fuck yeah!
- Hawk, Hawk, Hawk…
- [man screeching]
[all screeching and chanting]
[Dan] As fog rolls in off the Pacific
and blankets the Monterey Peninsula,
we return to the green
at the par-five 18th,
where Lance and Lonnie Hawkins will decide
just how this tournament continues.
[Lance] Hey, Dad.
When you get to the Senior Tour,
say hey to Vijay and John Daly
and all the other has-beens for me.
I'll do that, but first
I need you to do something for me.
- What's that?
- I want you to enjoy this putt.
["All I Do Is Win"
intro by DJ Khaled playing]
- [music fades]
- No-look that shit.
- ["All I Do Is Win" continues playing]
- Everybody hands go up ♪
He made it.
And they stay there ♪
And they say, "Yeah" ♪
- And they stay there ♪
- Up down, up down, up down ♪
Hwah!
'Cause all I do is win, win, win ♪
And if you goin' in
Put your hands in the air… ♪
[Dan] Unbelievable!
Lonnie Hawkins has
potentially forced a playoff
with Golden Fisk.
What have we just witnessed?
Nut tap.
Nut tap!
- [exclaiming]
- Lonnie Hawkins!
[Dan] Lance Hawkins
will now have to make this putt
if he wants to win the US Open.
[crowd exclaims]
[Dan] Can you believe this?
Golden Fisk, Lance Hawkins,
and Lonnie Hawkins
will play a three-man playoff
tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m.
See you tomorrow, huh?
["Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward playing]
[Dan] I have never seen
anything close to this.
Stacy, honey, it looks like Lance, Lonnie,
and Golden are in a playoff tomorrow.
Well, that might be
something exciting to see.
I told you, I'm done with golf.
Okay, dear. I believe you.
You can ring my bell ♪
Ring my bell♪
[Crystal] Oh God,
this is bigger than I thought.
[Lance] Well, yeah, this is the 18th.
Kind of an iconic hole.
No, the…
the moment, not the course.
I think he's gonna like it here.
Oh my God, man,
I can't believe we're doing this.
Yeah, I still feel pretty conflicted
about it, to be honest.
- [Crystal] Ugh…
- Ew! Is that a tooth?
- That's totally a tooth.
- There's like bones and stuff.
- Oh my God.
- You gotta spread this better.
You think they would've
burned him all the way.
I know this is supposed to be like a sweet
moment, but this is pretty disgusting.
[grunts] Okay.
[sighs] There he is, man.
He's, like, on me.
- [chatter]
- Oh shit, someone's coming.
Where? Fuck.
Bye, Dad!
- [Olivia] Come on!
- [Lonnie laughing]
- [Olivia] This is the spot!
- [Lonnie] Oh my God! Oh…
This is the scene of the crime right here.
I'm feeling so horny right now.
I'm buzzing like a cicada down there.
- [laughing] Come on!
- [grunts] Oh my God. Okay.
Oh, I'm having trouble
getting my shirt off here.
- Come on, get it off.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- [grunts] There we go.
- [laughing]
- Ow! Ow!
- [Lonnie groans]
- Ow, what is that?
- What? What?
- [sighs]
- What? What?
- Oh, looks like a tooth.
- Let me see it.
Yeah, it does. It looks-- That is a tooth.
[Olivia] Oh God…
Ow! Something's sticking me in the back.
Shut up and whip out that Hawk dick!
Yes, ma'am.
I am definitely gonna show you
my reproductive organs.
- Yeah.
- Oh God, I'm so drunk.
[laughs] I'm so drunk!
Just… hold on. Hold on.
- What?
- Just one second.
- What?
- [gasps softly]
- What?
- I can't.
What do you mean?
I love my wife.
God, you can love her later.
It's time to fuck.
I know, but I still love Stacy, I do.
- [scoffs]
- Besides…
When you, uh, threw those boots, uh…
[sighs] …I shot my wad in my pants.
- [scoffs] That sucks.
- Okay, here.
- [Anton shouts] Olivia!
- Oh God, that's Anton. Oh shit!
- Get my shoes. Shit!
- No, don't worry about shoes.
Geronimo!
- [grunts]
- [chuckles] Oh my God.
[shouting] Olivia, are you out here?
[intriguing music playing]
Olivia!
[shouting continues]
- [howling]
- [shouting fades]
[howling continues]
[knocking at door]
What do you want?
What do I want?
Why haven't you come to watch me play?
- I've been really busy.
- All week?
I'm in a three-way playoff right now
with Golden and Dad.
That's great.
I hope you three have a wonderful time.
- I have to get back to my packing.
- Wait, Mom! Ow! Mom.
Did you not hear me?
We're playing tomorrow
to see who wins the fucking US Open.
I don't really care who wins
the fucking US Open, okay?
I'm tired, Lance.
I'm tired of you and Lonnie
and all your bullshit.
Mom, I'm sorry about Vegas, all right?
I'm not sorry about Vegas.
I'm glad I was there.
That's when I realized it.
I don't want to be a golf wife
or a golf mom ever again.
So is that why you made Golden Fisk
the new face of Teed Off?
I sold out, okay? I'm rich.
You are more than welcome
to come and visit Radford and me
at a fancy new mansion
that we will soon be buying.
[sighs deeply]
- Dad's locked in right now.
- [softly] Oh God, please…
He's looking unbeatable. You should
have seen that no-look putt he made today.
Three infants posing as men
are gonna whack a ball around
and try to get it in a hole.
Just think about that, Lance.
It's a dumb game.
You don't understand.
What don't I understand?
Mom,
ever since Vegas,
those guys have been
threatening to kill me.
What are you talking about?
Those guys from the poker game.
I owe 'em four million dollars.
And they said if I don't win tomorrow,
they're literally gonna kill me.
What?
Oh my God. Are you serious?
Okay, you got to go talk
to your father right now.
He's not gonna listen to me.
I mean, he's obsessed right now, Mom.
He's just got that look in his eye.
He's got animal brain.
There's no getting through to him.
At least not from me.
So do you want me to talk to him?
No.
I don't know.
- Maybe I should just let him win.
- Oh my God.
Fuck it. It's what he wants.
He doesn't care.
My whole life has been fucked anyways.
What does it even matter?
Okay, listen to me. I'm gonna handle this.
But this is the last time.
After all this is over,
you really need to get help.
[enchanting woodwind music playing]
- [sighs]
- [Sam] Oh, there you are. Where were you?
- I was getting worried.
- Oh, just… I went out for a walk.
With one shoe?
Yeah, just one shoe
builds up a little arch support.
What's that on your back?
- What's what?
- Oh, hold on.
There's something attached to your skin.
Oh…
Ugh! Gross!
- It's like a toe or something.
- A toe? Let me see it.
- Here. Ugh!
- Ew!
Oh yeah. It's a toe or a finger bone.
Did you murder someone?
- Hmm…
- [knocking]
[Lonnie gasps]
- Oh shit. Stacy.
- How can you tell?
The knock. That's how she knocks.
Hi, Stace.
Hey, we got to talk. I'm here about Lance.
[romantic music playing]
The kid's on fire.
Probably gonna beat me tomorrow.
Just kidding. Probably not.
But no, he's very talented.
Lonnie, please, no.
Okay. Uh, let me start.
- This is big time.
- What?
So about an hour ago, I was out
on the 18th green with Olivia Floyd.
You know, Anton's wife.
She's very curvaceous.
Very easy on the eyes.
I know who Olivia Floyd is.
Okay, of course.
So, we're out there
on the golf course getting super horny.
'Cause she's a beautiful woman.
You know… she just is!
Right.
So she's on top of me,
and she's about to show me her titties.
Which, if you also recall,
they are world-class titties. Like…
[babbling]
Titties!
Phew! Like the Beatles of titties.
Hit after hit, but if you think of a tit
in that way, musically speaking…
I don't have time for this.
Where the fuck is this going?
She's about to show me the titties,
and all of a sudden it hit me.
No.
I don't want to see those titties.
- You know why?
- I don't care.
Because the only titties I want to see
are yours.
I love you, Stacy.
I can't stop loving you.
And it's not just your titties.
It's everything. It's the whole package.
It's… [sighs]
I mean it.
Are you done?
I…
am done.
- Why don't you sit down for a second?
- Yeah, sure.
So, if you love me…
Yeah.
…you will do what I ask.
Anything.
Forever and ever and ever, infinity.
Just ask me.
I want you to let Lance win tomorrow.
No! No. Uh-uh.
Are you crazy? It's a Grand Slam!
- They're gonna kill him, Lonnie!
- Who's gonna kill him?
The bad guys! The mafia! The Russian mob!
I mean, does it even matter?
- Let me talk to 'em.
- Who? I don't know who these people are!
Lonnie, your son is a gambling addict.
Okay?
He owes four million dollars to gangsters.
And they are going to kill him
if he doesn't win the tournament.
- What if I win and give him the money?
- Oh my God. You're hopeless.
You are the shittiest father
in the history of fatherhood.
I gave him my old clubs.
We had a moment,
together, father and son.
You should have been there, Stacy.
Bonding. We really bonded, Stacy.
Damn, you're gonna make me cry right now.
Lonnie Hawkins, if you love me,
and I mean truly love me,
you will let our son win.
- [sighs deeply]
- [music fades]
[Dan] Welcome to this very special edition
of the 126th US Open,
live from Pebble Beach Golf Links.
It's Monday morning,
and what couldn't be decided
after four days of grueling golf
will now end here in a three-man playoff.
Golden Fisk, Lance Hawkins,
Lonnie Hawkins,
all making their way to the 17th tee
where they will play the two final holes.
Hey, bud. I spoke to your mom.
She told me you're in a bit of trouble.
Spilled the beans.
Oh, don't worry about that.
I got it locked down.
- Okay, she's just being dramatic, right?
- It's not your problem, Dad.
We having a family moment here?
You gonna ground Lance,
or are we gonna play golf?
[somber music playing slowly]
What time's our flight, dear?
- [Lonnie] Hey, Stacy?
- It's at 2:30.
Hey, it's Lonnie…
Surprised you're leaving town
with this playoff today.
Everyone else is heading to the course.
…messing everything up with you and Lance.
- [Lonnie] So we're cool, right?
- Depends how you define cool.
But yeah, sure, we're cool.
[Lonnie] He's a good kid,
and you're a good mother.
[Sam] How you feeling?
Feeling good. Looking good.
We can go back to being
a family again, Stacy.
Go on vacations. We could visit
Carlsbad Caverns and get a dog.
Think about it. We'd go
to the NASA Space Museum and see--
I can't do this.
Excuse me. Can you turn the car around?
- What on earth for?
- Radford, I have to be there for him.
For who?
When the going gets tough,
the tough get going.
If at first you don't succeed…
[Lonnie] Try, try again.
[crowd exclaims]
"Nothing can dim the light
that shines from within."
- Mm! Maya Angelou.
- Maya Angelou!
"Be the change you want to see
in the world."
[Golden] You almost done
with the uplifting aphorisms?
- Feel like I'm watching The fucking View.
- Couple more.
"He who walks a crooked path…
lives a crooked life."
Mm-hmm.
[crowd cheering]
- Showtime.
- Get it, baby.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
[crowd exclaiming]
Whoo!
- Yeah! Haha!
- Boom!
Oh! [grunts]
Oh, fuck!
Sam, you're a hell of a caddie,
but you can't catch shit.
["Warriors" by Too Many Zooz playing]
[crowd erupts in cheers]
No pain, no gain. Broken hand!
I might as well break the other one.
Yeah, you don't need it.
As we head to the 18th,
we are all tied up.
Lonnie Hawkins up first.
[Lonnie] Hey, folks.
Hey, why do those guys look so familiar?
Shit, they were at the poker game
in Vegas. What are they doing here?
- [Sam] They're probably just golf fans.
- Dressed in black leather?
- [Sam] You know I love leather.
- Yeah, you of all people.
- [grunts]
- [music fades]
Look, we're on 18.
Try not to hook the ball.
I never hook my driver, Sam.
We call it a… draw.
- Well, what's the difference?
- Well, a bad golfer hooks the ball.
A good golfer like me draws the ball.
This is probably the toughest
finishing hole drive in championship golf.
- Hey, little guy.
- [majestic music plays]
Now do as I say.
Hey, diddle diddle.
[dramatic music rises]
Right down the middle.
- [ball whistles]
- Ah!
[crowd groans]
[Roger] Oh no, this is hooked way left.
This is headed for Carmel Bay.
Right, go right, go… Fuck!
[Roger] He'll be lucky
if it stays in the rocks.
He'll be lucky if they can find it.
And he'll be even luckier
if he can hit it again.
Can you drive a little bit faster?
It's just moments away, ma'am.
Okay. [sighs heavily]
That was quite the… draw, Lonnie.
That was a hook, Sam.
If there's ever a hole not to hook it on,
it's the 18th at Pebble Beach.
You little shit!
I told you to go straight.
What part of that did you not understand?
You think this is funny?
Think this is a comedy? 'Cause it's not!
This is all business.
[Golden] Hey, Hawk! How you doing?
I just hit my second shot
up onto the green.
Pretty kick-ass ball striking.
I'm about four feet from the cup.
You need me to call in
search and rescue for you down there?
Eat a bag of dicks!
Hey, keep in mind, it is the mating season
for the California sea lions,
and I saw a group of the juvenile males,
and they were pointing at your ass
like it was a piece of flank steak,
so… be careful.
Well, that's their problem, not mine.
I like it. You're still fighting.
Damn it!
What have I done?
[yells] What have I done, Sam?
- [sighs deeply]
- You know, I'm hungry right about now.
- Well, I'm not.
- Pff… You know what I could really go for?
One of those Chili's
southwestern egg rolls.
- What are you talking about?
- You know what. They're delicious!
Sam, I fucked up. I've lost.
[sighs]
I want my baby back, baby back
Baby back, baby back ♪
I want my baby back, baby back
Baby back, baby back ♪
- I want my baby back, baby back ♪
- I want my baby back ♪
- I want my baby back, baby back ♪
- I want my baby back ♪
- I want my baby back, baby back ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- I want my baby back, baby back ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Barbecue sauce ♪
- Barbecue sauce ♪
- [laughing]
- Sam! You sly dog!
You got me singing on national television
in front of the whole world!
Good! Show 'em how it's done.
[stirring music builds slowly]
- [rocks slide]
- Oh!
- Holy… shit.
- Watch it. You good?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- All right.
All right, be careful.
[sighs]
[huffs]
[exhales]
[majestic music rises]
[grunts]
[groaning] Ah!
[cheers and applause]
[laughing quietly]
Whoo-hoo! Yes!
- No fucking way.
- [Lonnie] Yeah!
We have just witnessed
the greatest shot in golf history.
How in the world did he pull that off?
Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
Sam, I'm gonna need
a new MacGregor two-iron.
And call me a vet to reset my hand.
All right, you got it.
[laughing] Yeah!
Heck of a shot, Lonnie!
Yeah, it was!
It was a heck of a shot, Golden!
Hey, give this to someone you love!
Hell of a souvenir!
[overlapping shouts]
[funky up-tempo music playing]
Keep it close.
[Dan] As if the afternoon
needed any more drama,
the fog has once again decided
to roll in here at Pebble Beach.
We'll just have to wait and see
how this affects our finalists
as they all head to the 18th green.
[music fades]
[bluesy harmonica playing]
Front right quadrant.
Front left quadrant.
Back right and left.
Gentlemen…
[sighs]
I can do this all day long.
I will wear you down eventually.
Golden, you're about to fuck this up.
[Golden chuckles]
[crowd groans]
[fart noise]
[Dan] Oh, a devastating miss
for Fisk here.
[sad note]
[Dan] And that just about
closes the door on any hopes for a win.
[cheers and applause]
Oopsie-daisy.
[Lance] Tough break, Golden.
Well, Dad…
whatever happens,
I love you.
Just want you to know that, in case…
Well…
Never mind.
[somber music playing]
[exhales heavily]
[chuckles softly]
- [indistinct whispering]
- [exhales]
[solemn music builds slowly]
Yay!
[Dan] With that putt, Lance Hawkins
continues to put pressure on his father.
Lonnie will have to make his putt
in order to stay in this playoff,
to continue here at Pebble Beach,
and to maintain his chances
for that Grand Slam.
If he misses, it's all over.
Lance Hawkins will be the winner
of this 126th US Open.
Son, I'm gonna have to make this putt.
Do what you got to do.
Lonnie Hawkins has been here before.
What could he be thinking?
[Lonnie] Hey, Lance!
Lance.
[Lance] Hey, Dad.
[Lonnie] Hey, Lance.
Would it be okay if I… made that putt?
[Lance] I'd be the proudest son
in the world if you made that putt.
[Lonnie] I love you, son.
[Lance] I love you too, Dad.
[rapid gunfire]
[haunting music plays]
- [gasps, panting]
- [music fades out]
[melancholy music playing slowly]
[Lonnie] Sorry, son,
I got to make this putt.
[Lance] Do what you got to do, Dad.
- [exhales]
- [tense notes rise slowly]
- [crowd groans softly]
- [disenchanting notes play]
Yes!
Welcome to the club, kid.
Let's go!
[majestic music plays]
[Lance] Whoo!
Whoo!
Wonderful!
I missed that on purpose.
I missed it on purpose.
Dad. Great game.
I missed on purpose, son.
Well, I lied.
No one wanted to kill me.
Huh?
What?
Thanks for the tickets, Lance!
It's a mental game, Dad.
You taught me that.
I had to get in your head somehow.
You lied?
[chuckles quietly]
You beat me at my own game.
Yeah. [laughing]
You beat me at my own game!
- I got-- [laughs]
- [laughing] You beat me at my own game!
[majestic music swells]
Oh my God, you son of a…
[Lance laughs]
Oh, Radford, I'm so sorry.
I cannot marry you.
Because I am in love with that man.
My son, Lance Hawkins, US Open champion!
[cheers and applause]
- [huffs]
- [music turns grim]
[gasps]
[growls]
Go to hell, Lonnie Hawkins!
[grunts]
[discordant music playing slowly]
[slowed] Oh shit.
- [pings]
- [music halts]
- [classic rock music plays]
- [Dan] That is a perfect javelin throw.
Beautiful form.
And by the way, nice snag by the caddie.
- [screams]
- [grunting]
[groans] Honeybunch!
- [majestic music rises]
- [cheers and applause]
[laughing]
[laughing] Oh my God!
Look! I can't believe I caught this.
[laughing maniacally]
I fucking love golf. Sport of kings.
Sam, that was a hell of a catch!
[chuckles]
You saved my life.
That's what caddies do.
[sighs]
- Yeah!
- Oh my God!
- Whoo!
- [cackling]
Oh, I love you so much.
I'm so proud of you.
If that was a 40-yard dash,
your time would be under two seconds.
- God dang.
- You should go to the NFL Combines.
Yeah, I'm fucking amazing.
God dang it. Look at you.
- Look at me!
- You never cease to amaze!
[Sam laughs] Dude!
That was crazy.
[music fades]
[chill music playing]
Here's what I don't understand.
Why is your stupid hand back in that cast?
Well, I had to reset it,
and then it wasn't healing right--
And it got infected, so then I had to
reset it from the first time I reset it.
And then I got gangrene
and started oozing discharge and…
I mean, at one point,
there was spider eggs coming out of it.
It was like Charlotte's Web.
Then I looked up a hand surgeon.
He wanted to chop the thing off.
I fought for it. I fought like hell.
Reset it, and here we are.
[reporter] Lance, how does it feel to win
the US Open and beat your own father?
Ugh… Honestly? Complicated.
I mean, I wish we both could've won, but…
you know, I did.
Do you think you'll take some time
to rest and enjoy this historic win?
Actually, we're doing a cross-country
road trip together while he recovers.
Yeah, we're gonna go to the
Carlsbad Caverns, the NASA Space Museum…
Think you'll be able to golf again?
Believe it or not, they asked me to be
the captain of the Ryder Cup next year.
- What?
- Yeah!
Oh my God!
Not gonna keep this apex predator
off the golf course. You know that.
That's right.
Not all the bumps and bruises
and boulders and bullshit.
- Delicious beats bullshit.
- Beats bullshit. That's right.
- Every time.
- Every time.
[Lance] You know, in many ways,
this experience has
brought us closer together.
You know, we've just… we've realized,
you know, how much we have in common.
Four cartons of fucking milk?
Bad. Bad. Bad…
I mean, cheese balls, wine, Triscuits?
I can't fucking live like this.
[reporter] Sorry, I missed that.
Oh, yeah, I said, at the end of the day,
it's just great to know
how much we have each other's backs.
Well, I'm sorry that you lost
the US Open, Lonnie.
That's some bullshit.
Yeah.
That would have been something else.
[Sam] Mm-hmm.
[music fades]
You did the right thing, though,
missing that putt.
You did miss it on purpose, right?
["End Credits: Try To Believe"
by Mosley & The B-Men playing]
Pickle?
If I wish real hard
When I close my eyes ♪
If I could change the world
Would I even try? ♪
Try to believe ♪
If I found a reason to regain my pride ♪
Oh, if I try to believe ♪
Try to believe ♪
It's so hard to trust another ♪
When it's easier to hide ♪
It's so hard to believe ♪
Unless we try, baby, try ♪
Ooh, try to believe one more time ♪
Oh, and I try, baby, try, baby, try ♪
- Try to believe ♪
- Yeah! ♪
And I try to believe one more time ♪
Ooh, and I try, baby, try, baby, try ♪
Try to believe ♪
If we listen to the voices ♪
That were silent for so long ♪
If you thought they went away ♪
Well, you couldn't be more wrong ♪
If I tell you there is something
That we've lost but can retrieve ♪
If I tell you there is hope
If we try to believe ♪
You remember there's a dream
That we long since put aside ♪
We can have it once again if we ♪
Try, baby, try ♪
[music fades]
["Big Black Cock" by Skum playing]
[Dan Hicks] Welcome back
to Northern California
and the scenic coastline
of the Monterey Peninsula
for the final day of the 126th US Open.
And if you're joining us just now,
you have missed four
of the most dramatic days in golf history,
and it begins with Lonnie Hawkins.
Kevin, what can you
possibly say about this guy?
I mean, the man is playing
with a broken hand.
Golden Fisk started the day three back
and now sits in the clubhouse
with a one-shot lead over Lance Hawkins
and two strokes over the elder Hawkins.
He'll just have to wait and see
if he's going to be a two-time champion
or enter a playoff
with either one of these men.
- Roger Maltbie is standing by…
- Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Let's go, Lancey!
Let's go!
- Sorry, that's my boy right there, so…
- Oh.
You, uh… you know one of the golfers?
I train Lance Hawkins,
and he is my best friend.
- She knows nothing about golf.
- [Jerry] Seriously?
I'm in pharmaceutical sales,
and we're one of the sponsors, so…
Okurrr! [laughs]
If my boy birdies this hole,
straight to the playoff.
- Mmm…
- You know what that means? [beeping]
Ching! Cha-ching!
[singsong] Money time! [laughs]
I'm rooting for Lonnie Hawkins.
[imitates buzzer] No.
He's in the middle of an epic
father-son battle. It's Shakespearean.
[trilling, splats] Let's not do that.
Maybe let's just keep it down
at this table. I'm sorry. Just forget it.
You should close out your tab, okay?
[singsong] Let's watch
some fucking golf! Let's go!
[Roger Maltbie] This is such
a tough tee shot here at 18 at Pebble.
Water all down the left.
Got to get the ball in the fairway.
[majestic music rising]
[crowd cheering and clapping]
[Roger] Oh, smashed right in the middle.
He'll be able to get to the green in two.
This is gonna put
a lot of pressure on his dad, Lonnie.
I might have to just eagle this hole
and win this thing right now.
[Lonnie scoffs]
Cocky little shit, isn't he?
Ah, Sam, my hand's bleeding again.
Wrap me.
[majestic music builds slowly]
Let's get it on.
[hawk screeches]
- [music fades]
- [cheers and applause]
That's how it's done!
- They call him the Hawk ♪
- Hawk! ♪
He's a golfer ♪
The greatest golfer in the world! ♪
Well, look at you,
basking in the sun, huh?
Ah, I feel like I deserve it.
And, you know, as soon as I sign those
Mike's Hard Lemonade papers tomorrow,
off we go! Rio de Janeiro! Paris!
Wherever there's no golf, please.
- [laughs]
- Please, God.
Well, you have worked your tail off,
and I am very proud of you
and all your industrious endeavors.
Mmm. Thank you.
Feels so good.
You know what else feels really good?
Seeing me get better?
I haven't watched one second of golf
this entire week. Not Lance. Not Lonnie.
Not my new business partner, Golden.
And it feels like heaven.
Stacy, I want all
that heaven allows for you.
Aww…
Your happiness is the balm
that soothes my soul.
- Mm.
- Facing death has, uh…
put me in a meditative mood.
[Stacy] Mm-hm.
And I can no longer hold back my feelings.
Stacen Grumwell Hawkins,
will you take my hand in marriage?
[chuckles softly]
Radford!
Oh my God, that's so silly, Radford.
Really? [laughs]
- I want you to consider it.
- [laughing loudly]
[Radford] That's all I ask.
[laughter intensifies]
- Oh, you're so sweet!
- [quietly] Well…
- [ball whizzing]
- [crowd cheering]
Feel that, Dad? It's a little breezy.
Might want to club up.
- Go easy on it. Stay out of the wind.
- Your tricks aren't working, son.
Can't win the mental game against a man
whose mentality's been forged in battle.
- There we go.
- Sit, sit, sit, sit…
[Dan] Lonnie Hawkins with
a nearly impossible putt for eagle.
He's gonna make the playoff.
And then he'll win.
He could be four back
and need a hole-in-one, and he'll do it.
- Talking about the Hawk?
- Yes, I am talking about the Hawk.
What a story, huh?
I got a story. It's a story about
a little boy from Yuba City, California.
- [chuckles]
- Lonnie Hawkins.
- Oh yeah.
- No, not him.
This is another boy.
A boy whose mother abandoned him.
Moved across town and started
a whole new family with a different dad.
Now, this motherless boy worked hard.
He was a javelin thrower.
- Javelin?
- [Anton sighs] Yes.
He became a state champion
in the javelin throw.
But Yuba City already had a favorite son.
So this boy left town,
and one day he sees
this pretty girl in a string bikini.
Now, this boy, who had never
had much luck with women,
walks up to her and says, outright,
"Would you marry me?"
She said yes.
And theirs was a life of bliss.
- Alright.
- He bought her a beautiful home.
And what did she do?
She left him.
She walked out on that golf course,
in the middle of the night,
naked as the day she was born,
and diddled this boy's half-brother
until the sun came up.
[laughing quietly]
[chuckling]
Hey, Oswald!
Lonnie Hawkins is this guy's half-brother,
and Lonnie fucked his wife!
[cackles]
Fuck yeah!
- Hawk, Hawk, Hawk…
- [man screeching]
[all screeching and chanting]
[Dan] As fog rolls in off the Pacific
and blankets the Monterey Peninsula,
we return to the green
at the par-five 18th,
where Lance and Lonnie Hawkins will decide
just how this tournament continues.
[Lance] Hey, Dad.
When you get to the Senior Tour,
say hey to Vijay and John Daly
and all the other has-beens for me.
I'll do that, but first
I need you to do something for me.
- What's that?
- I want you to enjoy this putt.
["All I Do Is Win"
intro by DJ Khaled playing]
- [music fades]
- No-look that shit.
- ["All I Do Is Win" continues playing]
- Everybody hands go up ♪
He made it.
And they stay there ♪
And they say, "Yeah" ♪
- And they stay there ♪
- Up down, up down, up down ♪
Hwah!
'Cause all I do is win, win, win ♪
And if you goin' in
Put your hands in the air… ♪
[Dan] Unbelievable!
Lonnie Hawkins has
potentially forced a playoff
with Golden Fisk.
What have we just witnessed?
Nut tap.
Nut tap!
- [exclaiming]
- Lonnie Hawkins!
[Dan] Lance Hawkins
will now have to make this putt
if he wants to win the US Open.
[crowd exclaims]
[Dan] Can you believe this?
Golden Fisk, Lance Hawkins,
and Lonnie Hawkins
will play a three-man playoff
tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m.
See you tomorrow, huh?
["Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward playing]
[Dan] I have never seen
anything close to this.
Stacy, honey, it looks like Lance, Lonnie,
and Golden are in a playoff tomorrow.
Well, that might be
something exciting to see.
I told you, I'm done with golf.
Okay, dear. I believe you.
You can ring my bell ♪
Ring my bell♪
[Crystal] Oh God,
this is bigger than I thought.
[Lance] Well, yeah, this is the 18th.
Kind of an iconic hole.
No, the…
the moment, not the course.
I think he's gonna like it here.
Oh my God, man,
I can't believe we're doing this.
Yeah, I still feel pretty conflicted
about it, to be honest.
- [Crystal] Ugh…
- Ew! Is that a tooth?
- That's totally a tooth.
- There's like bones and stuff.
- Oh my God.
- You gotta spread this better.
You think they would've
burned him all the way.
I know this is supposed to be like a sweet
moment, but this is pretty disgusting.
[grunts] Okay.
[sighs] There he is, man.
He's, like, on me.
- [chatter]
- Oh shit, someone's coming.
Where? Fuck.
Bye, Dad!
- [Olivia] Come on!
- [Lonnie laughing]
- [Olivia] This is the spot!
- [Lonnie] Oh my God! Oh…
This is the scene of the crime right here.
I'm feeling so horny right now.
I'm buzzing like a cicada down there.
- [laughing] Come on!
- [grunts] Oh my God. Okay.
Oh, I'm having trouble
getting my shirt off here.
- Come on, get it off.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- [grunts] There we go.
- [laughing]
- Ow! Ow!
- [Lonnie groans]
- Ow, what is that?
- What? What?
- [sighs]
- What? What?
- Oh, looks like a tooth.
- Let me see it.
Yeah, it does. It looks-- That is a tooth.
[Olivia] Oh God…
Ow! Something's sticking me in the back.
Shut up and whip out that Hawk dick!
Yes, ma'am.
I am definitely gonna show you
my reproductive organs.
- Yeah.
- Oh God, I'm so drunk.
[laughs] I'm so drunk!
Just… hold on. Hold on.
- What?
- Just one second.
- What?
- [gasps softly]
- What?
- I can't.
What do you mean?
I love my wife.
God, you can love her later.
It's time to fuck.
I know, but I still love Stacy, I do.
- [scoffs]
- Besides…
When you, uh, threw those boots, uh…
[sighs] …I shot my wad in my pants.
- [scoffs] That sucks.
- Okay, here.
- [Anton shouts] Olivia!
- Oh God, that's Anton. Oh shit!
- Get my shoes. Shit!
- No, don't worry about shoes.
Geronimo!
- [grunts]
- [chuckles] Oh my God.
[shouting] Olivia, are you out here?
[intriguing music playing]
Olivia!
[shouting continues]
- [howling]
- [shouting fades]
[howling continues]
[knocking at door]
What do you want?
What do I want?
Why haven't you come to watch me play?
- I've been really busy.
- All week?
I'm in a three-way playoff right now
with Golden and Dad.
That's great.
I hope you three have a wonderful time.
- I have to get back to my packing.
- Wait, Mom! Ow! Mom.
Did you not hear me?
We're playing tomorrow
to see who wins the fucking US Open.
I don't really care who wins
the fucking US Open, okay?
I'm tired, Lance.
I'm tired of you and Lonnie
and all your bullshit.
Mom, I'm sorry about Vegas, all right?
I'm not sorry about Vegas.
I'm glad I was there.
That's when I realized it.
I don't want to be a golf wife
or a golf mom ever again.
So is that why you made Golden Fisk
the new face of Teed Off?
I sold out, okay? I'm rich.
You are more than welcome
to come and visit Radford and me
at a fancy new mansion
that we will soon be buying.
[sighs deeply]
- Dad's locked in right now.
- [softly] Oh God, please…
He's looking unbeatable. You should
have seen that no-look putt he made today.
Three infants posing as men
are gonna whack a ball around
and try to get it in a hole.
Just think about that, Lance.
It's a dumb game.
You don't understand.
What don't I understand?
Mom,
ever since Vegas,
those guys have been
threatening to kill me.
What are you talking about?
Those guys from the poker game.
I owe 'em four million dollars.
And they said if I don't win tomorrow,
they're literally gonna kill me.
What?
Oh my God. Are you serious?
Okay, you got to go talk
to your father right now.
He's not gonna listen to me.
I mean, he's obsessed right now, Mom.
He's just got that look in his eye.
He's got animal brain.
There's no getting through to him.
At least not from me.
So do you want me to talk to him?
No.
I don't know.
- Maybe I should just let him win.
- Oh my God.
Fuck it. It's what he wants.
He doesn't care.
My whole life has been fucked anyways.
What does it even matter?
Okay, listen to me. I'm gonna handle this.
But this is the last time.
After all this is over,
you really need to get help.
[enchanting woodwind music playing]
- [sighs]
- [Sam] Oh, there you are. Where were you?
- I was getting worried.
- Oh, just… I went out for a walk.
With one shoe?
Yeah, just one shoe
builds up a little arch support.
What's that on your back?
- What's what?
- Oh, hold on.
There's something attached to your skin.
Oh…
Ugh! Gross!
- It's like a toe or something.
- A toe? Let me see it.
- Here. Ugh!
- Ew!
Oh yeah. It's a toe or a finger bone.
Did you murder someone?
- Hmm…
- [knocking]
[Lonnie gasps]
- Oh shit. Stacy.
- How can you tell?
The knock. That's how she knocks.
Hi, Stace.
Hey, we got to talk. I'm here about Lance.
[romantic music playing]
The kid's on fire.
Probably gonna beat me tomorrow.
Just kidding. Probably not.
But no, he's very talented.
Lonnie, please, no.
Okay. Uh, let me start.
- This is big time.
- What?
So about an hour ago, I was out
on the 18th green with Olivia Floyd.
You know, Anton's wife.
She's very curvaceous.
Very easy on the eyes.
I know who Olivia Floyd is.
Okay, of course.
So, we're out there
on the golf course getting super horny.
'Cause she's a beautiful woman.
You know… she just is!
Right.
So she's on top of me,
and she's about to show me her titties.
Which, if you also recall,
they are world-class titties. Like…
[babbling]
Titties!
Phew! Like the Beatles of titties.
Hit after hit, but if you think of a tit
in that way, musically speaking…
I don't have time for this.
Where the fuck is this going?
She's about to show me the titties,
and all of a sudden it hit me.
No.
I don't want to see those titties.
- You know why?
- I don't care.
Because the only titties I want to see
are yours.
I love you, Stacy.
I can't stop loving you.
And it's not just your titties.
It's everything. It's the whole package.
It's… [sighs]
I mean it.
Are you done?
I…
am done.
- Why don't you sit down for a second?
- Yeah, sure.
So, if you love me…
Yeah.
…you will do what I ask.
Anything.
Forever and ever and ever, infinity.
Just ask me.
I want you to let Lance win tomorrow.
No! No. Uh-uh.
Are you crazy? It's a Grand Slam!
- They're gonna kill him, Lonnie!
- Who's gonna kill him?
The bad guys! The mafia! The Russian mob!
I mean, does it even matter?
- Let me talk to 'em.
- Who? I don't know who these people are!
Lonnie, your son is a gambling addict.
Okay?
He owes four million dollars to gangsters.
And they are going to kill him
if he doesn't win the tournament.
- What if I win and give him the money?
- Oh my God. You're hopeless.
You are the shittiest father
in the history of fatherhood.
I gave him my old clubs.
We had a moment,
together, father and son.
You should have been there, Stacy.
Bonding. We really bonded, Stacy.
Damn, you're gonna make me cry right now.
Lonnie Hawkins, if you love me,
and I mean truly love me,
you will let our son win.
- [sighs deeply]
- [music fades]
[Dan] Welcome to this very special edition
of the 126th US Open,
live from Pebble Beach Golf Links.
It's Monday morning,
and what couldn't be decided
after four days of grueling golf
will now end here in a three-man playoff.
Golden Fisk, Lance Hawkins,
Lonnie Hawkins,
all making their way to the 17th tee
where they will play the two final holes.
Hey, bud. I spoke to your mom.
She told me you're in a bit of trouble.
Spilled the beans.
Oh, don't worry about that.
I got it locked down.
- Okay, she's just being dramatic, right?
- It's not your problem, Dad.
We having a family moment here?
You gonna ground Lance,
or are we gonna play golf?
[somber music playing slowly]
What time's our flight, dear?
- [Lonnie] Hey, Stacy?
- It's at 2:30.
Hey, it's Lonnie…
Surprised you're leaving town
with this playoff today.
Everyone else is heading to the course.
…messing everything up with you and Lance.
- [Lonnie] So we're cool, right?
- Depends how you define cool.
But yeah, sure, we're cool.
[Lonnie] He's a good kid,
and you're a good mother.
[Sam] How you feeling?
Feeling good. Looking good.
We can go back to being
a family again, Stacy.
Go on vacations. We could visit
Carlsbad Caverns and get a dog.
Think about it. We'd go
to the NASA Space Museum and see--
I can't do this.
Excuse me. Can you turn the car around?
- What on earth for?
- Radford, I have to be there for him.
For who?
When the going gets tough,
the tough get going.
If at first you don't succeed…
[Lonnie] Try, try again.
[crowd exclaims]
"Nothing can dim the light
that shines from within."
- Mm! Maya Angelou.
- Maya Angelou!
"Be the change you want to see
in the world."
[Golden] You almost done
with the uplifting aphorisms?
- Feel like I'm watching The fucking View.
- Couple more.
"He who walks a crooked path…
lives a crooked life."
Mm-hmm.
[crowd cheering]
- Showtime.
- Get it, baby.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
[crowd exclaiming]
Whoo!
- Yeah! Haha!
- Boom!
Oh! [grunts]
Oh, fuck!
Sam, you're a hell of a caddie,
but you can't catch shit.
["Warriors" by Too Many Zooz playing]
[crowd erupts in cheers]
No pain, no gain. Broken hand!
I might as well break the other one.
Yeah, you don't need it.
As we head to the 18th,
we are all tied up.
Lonnie Hawkins up first.
[Lonnie] Hey, folks.
Hey, why do those guys look so familiar?
Shit, they were at the poker game
in Vegas. What are they doing here?
- [Sam] They're probably just golf fans.
- Dressed in black leather?
- [Sam] You know I love leather.
- Yeah, you of all people.
- [grunts]
- [music fades]
Look, we're on 18.
Try not to hook the ball.
I never hook my driver, Sam.
We call it a… draw.
- Well, what's the difference?
- Well, a bad golfer hooks the ball.
A good golfer like me draws the ball.
This is probably the toughest
finishing hole drive in championship golf.
- Hey, little guy.
- [majestic music plays]
Now do as I say.
Hey, diddle diddle.
[dramatic music rises]
Right down the middle.
- [ball whistles]
- Ah!
[crowd groans]
[Roger] Oh no, this is hooked way left.
This is headed for Carmel Bay.
Right, go right, go… Fuck!
[Roger] He'll be lucky
if it stays in the rocks.
He'll be lucky if they can find it.
And he'll be even luckier
if he can hit it again.
Can you drive a little bit faster?
It's just moments away, ma'am.
Okay. [sighs heavily]
That was quite the… draw, Lonnie.
That was a hook, Sam.
If there's ever a hole not to hook it on,
it's the 18th at Pebble Beach.
You little shit!
I told you to go straight.
What part of that did you not understand?
You think this is funny?
Think this is a comedy? 'Cause it's not!
This is all business.
[Golden] Hey, Hawk! How you doing?
I just hit my second shot
up onto the green.
Pretty kick-ass ball striking.
I'm about four feet from the cup.
You need me to call in
search and rescue for you down there?
Eat a bag of dicks!
Hey, keep in mind, it is the mating season
for the California sea lions,
and I saw a group of the juvenile males,
and they were pointing at your ass
like it was a piece of flank steak,
so… be careful.
Well, that's their problem, not mine.
I like it. You're still fighting.
Damn it!
What have I done?
[yells] What have I done, Sam?
- [sighs deeply]
- You know, I'm hungry right about now.
- Well, I'm not.
- Pff… You know what I could really go for?
One of those Chili's
southwestern egg rolls.
- What are you talking about?
- You know what. They're delicious!
Sam, I fucked up. I've lost.
[sighs]
I want my baby back, baby back
Baby back, baby back ♪
I want my baby back, baby back
Baby back, baby back ♪
- I want my baby back, baby back ♪
- I want my baby back ♪
- I want my baby back, baby back ♪
- I want my baby back ♪
- I want my baby back, baby back ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- I want my baby back, baby back ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Chili's baby back ribs ♪
- Barbecue sauce ♪
- Barbecue sauce ♪
- [laughing]
- Sam! You sly dog!
You got me singing on national television
in front of the whole world!
Good! Show 'em how it's done.
[stirring music builds slowly]
- [rocks slide]
- Oh!
- Holy… shit.
- Watch it. You good?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- All right.
All right, be careful.
[sighs]
[huffs]
[exhales]
[majestic music rises]
[grunts]
[groaning] Ah!
[cheers and applause]
[laughing quietly]
Whoo-hoo! Yes!
- No fucking way.
- [Lonnie] Yeah!
We have just witnessed
the greatest shot in golf history.
How in the world did he pull that off?
Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
Sam, I'm gonna need
a new MacGregor two-iron.
And call me a vet to reset my hand.
All right, you got it.
[laughing] Yeah!
Heck of a shot, Lonnie!
Yeah, it was!
It was a heck of a shot, Golden!
Hey, give this to someone you love!
Hell of a souvenir!
[overlapping shouts]
[funky up-tempo music playing]
Keep it close.
[Dan] As if the afternoon
needed any more drama,
the fog has once again decided
to roll in here at Pebble Beach.
We'll just have to wait and see
how this affects our finalists
as they all head to the 18th green.
[music fades]
[bluesy harmonica playing]
Front right quadrant.
Front left quadrant.
Back right and left.
Gentlemen…
[sighs]
I can do this all day long.
I will wear you down eventually.
Golden, you're about to fuck this up.
[Golden chuckles]
[crowd groans]
[fart noise]
[Dan] Oh, a devastating miss
for Fisk here.
[sad note]
[Dan] And that just about
closes the door on any hopes for a win.
[cheers and applause]
Oopsie-daisy.
[Lance] Tough break, Golden.
Well, Dad…
whatever happens,
I love you.
Just want you to know that, in case…
Well…
Never mind.
[somber music playing]
[exhales heavily]
[chuckles softly]
- [indistinct whispering]
- [exhales]
[solemn music builds slowly]
Yay!
[Dan] With that putt, Lance Hawkins
continues to put pressure on his father.
Lonnie will have to make his putt
in order to stay in this playoff,
to continue here at Pebble Beach,
and to maintain his chances
for that Grand Slam.
If he misses, it's all over.
Lance Hawkins will be the winner
of this 126th US Open.
Son, I'm gonna have to make this putt.
Do what you got to do.
Lonnie Hawkins has been here before.
What could he be thinking?
[Lonnie] Hey, Lance!
Lance.
[Lance] Hey, Dad.
[Lonnie] Hey, Lance.
Would it be okay if I… made that putt?
[Lance] I'd be the proudest son
in the world if you made that putt.
[Lonnie] I love you, son.
[Lance] I love you too, Dad.
[rapid gunfire]
[haunting music plays]
- [gasps, panting]
- [music fades out]
[melancholy music playing slowly]
[Lonnie] Sorry, son,
I got to make this putt.
[Lance] Do what you got to do, Dad.
- [exhales]
- [tense notes rise slowly]
- [crowd groans softly]
- [disenchanting notes play]
Yes!
Welcome to the club, kid.
Let's go!
[majestic music plays]
[Lance] Whoo!
Whoo!
Wonderful!
I missed that on purpose.
I missed it on purpose.
Dad. Great game.
I missed on purpose, son.
Well, I lied.
No one wanted to kill me.
Huh?
What?
Thanks for the tickets, Lance!
It's a mental game, Dad.
You taught me that.
I had to get in your head somehow.
You lied?
[chuckles quietly]
You beat me at my own game.
Yeah. [laughing]
You beat me at my own game!
- I got-- [laughs]
- [laughing] You beat me at my own game!
[majestic music swells]
Oh my God, you son of a…
[Lance laughs]
Oh, Radford, I'm so sorry.
I cannot marry you.
Because I am in love with that man.
My son, Lance Hawkins, US Open champion!
[cheers and applause]
- [huffs]
- [music turns grim]
[gasps]
[growls]
Go to hell, Lonnie Hawkins!
[grunts]
[discordant music playing slowly]
[slowed] Oh shit.
- [pings]
- [music halts]
- [classic rock music plays]
- [Dan] That is a perfect javelin throw.
Beautiful form.
And by the way, nice snag by the caddie.
- [screams]
- [grunting]
[groans] Honeybunch!
- [majestic music rises]
- [cheers and applause]
[laughing]
[laughing] Oh my God!
Look! I can't believe I caught this.
[laughing maniacally]
I fucking love golf. Sport of kings.
Sam, that was a hell of a catch!
[chuckles]
You saved my life.
That's what caddies do.
[sighs]
- Yeah!
- Oh my God!
- Whoo!
- [cackling]
Oh, I love you so much.
I'm so proud of you.
If that was a 40-yard dash,
your time would be under two seconds.
- God dang.
- You should go to the NFL Combines.
Yeah, I'm fucking amazing.
God dang it. Look at you.
- Look at me!
- You never cease to amaze!
[Sam laughs] Dude!
That was crazy.
[music fades]
[chill music playing]
Here's what I don't understand.
Why is your stupid hand back in that cast?
Well, I had to reset it,
and then it wasn't healing right--
And it got infected, so then I had to
reset it from the first time I reset it.
And then I got gangrene
and started oozing discharge and…
I mean, at one point,
there was spider eggs coming out of it.
It was like Charlotte's Web.
Then I looked up a hand surgeon.
He wanted to chop the thing off.
I fought for it. I fought like hell.
Reset it, and here we are.
[reporter] Lance, how does it feel to win
the US Open and beat your own father?
Ugh… Honestly? Complicated.
I mean, I wish we both could've won, but…
you know, I did.
Do you think you'll take some time
to rest and enjoy this historic win?
Actually, we're doing a cross-country
road trip together while he recovers.
Yeah, we're gonna go to the
Carlsbad Caverns, the NASA Space Museum…
Think you'll be able to golf again?
Believe it or not, they asked me to be
the captain of the Ryder Cup next year.
- What?
- Yeah!
Oh my God!
Not gonna keep this apex predator
off the golf course. You know that.
That's right.
Not all the bumps and bruises
and boulders and bullshit.
- Delicious beats bullshit.
- Beats bullshit. That's right.
- Every time.
- Every time.
[Lance] You know, in many ways,
this experience has
brought us closer together.
You know, we've just… we've realized,
you know, how much we have in common.
Four cartons of fucking milk?
Bad. Bad. Bad…
I mean, cheese balls, wine, Triscuits?
I can't fucking live like this.
[reporter] Sorry, I missed that.
Oh, yeah, I said, at the end of the day,
it's just great to know
how much we have each other's backs.
Well, I'm sorry that you lost
the US Open, Lonnie.
That's some bullshit.
Yeah.
That would have been something else.
[Sam] Mm-hmm.
[music fades]
You did the right thing, though,
missing that putt.
You did miss it on purpose, right?
["End Credits: Try To Believe"
by Mosley & The B-Men playing]
Pickle?
If I wish real hard
When I close my eyes ♪
If I could change the world
Would I even try? ♪
Try to believe ♪
If I found a reason to regain my pride ♪
Oh, if I try to believe ♪
Try to believe ♪
It's so hard to trust another ♪
When it's easier to hide ♪
It's so hard to believe ♪
Unless we try, baby, try ♪
Ooh, try to believe one more time ♪
Oh, and I try, baby, try, baby, try ♪
- Try to believe ♪
- Yeah! ♪
And I try to believe one more time ♪
Ooh, and I try, baby, try, baby, try ♪
Try to believe ♪
If we listen to the voices ♪
That were silent for so long ♪
If you thought they went away ♪
Well, you couldn't be more wrong ♪
If I tell you there is something
That we've lost but can retrieve ♪
If I tell you there is hope
If we try to believe ♪
You remember there's a dream
That we long since put aside ♪
We can have it once again if we ♪
Try, baby, try ♪
[music fades]