Watson (2024) s01e10 Episode Script

1
Previously on Watson
You're coercing me into
putting up a dating profile.
THE REP: Shinwell Johnson,
we're not to be ignored.
An order arrives,
an order is executed.
INGRID: What do you want?
MORIARTY: I'm not looking
to bribe you, Dr. Derian.
When you can't stand
in the middle any more,
when you can't play both sides
who are you?
MARY: I was warned that
you were a dangerous person
to have around. If you don't find
another job within two
months, then you're fired.
Have you ever felt like you're
not good enough, Dr. Watson?
I think everybody has.
My last name is Phipps.
There are expectations.
Achievement. Vigor.
But my health has
never fully cooperated.
First, epilepsy.
It got so bad, I had to have a surgery
to sever the connection
between the lobes of my brain.
[TAPPING] Oh.
[LAUGHS] There we go. Yeah. It
never rests for very long now.
I'm sorry.
- So you're not controlling that?
- Um,
why would I undress in front of a man
that I just met, Dr. Watson?
No. Uh No. No one told me
that this could be a side effect
of the surgery. Sometimes my left hand
works against what I'm trying to do.
Other times it goes off
on missions of its own.
I'm sorry if I'm staring, Mr. Phipps,
but I've never seen a case of
alien hand syndrome in person.
A year I've been living like this.
A year of my own hand
working against me.
Well, unfortunately,
there is no known cure.
- It's so rare that it
- There is a cure.
There has always been a cure.
I just need a doctor who's
willing to give it to me.
Dr. Watson, I'd like for
you to amputate my left hand.
Um [LAUGHS] I mean
It's driving me insane,
and I think it might want to hurt me.
Well, I mean, it's a
neurological phenomenon.
Your hand doesn't
want anything from you.
- I want it gone.
- First of all
I'm not a surgeon.
Eight surgeons have turned me down.
You are a thought leader,
you're a man of influence.
You can help me find one.
You are not gonna
find a reputable doctor
who's willing to cut off
your hand, Mr. Phipps.
[DOOR OPENS]
Everything all right in here, guv?
It is, Shinwell, thank you.
My family can pay.
I am very familiar with
who your family is. Listen,
I understand
that you are suffering, Mr. Phipps, and
I will work with you,
but I'm not gonna help
you amputate your hand.
The man obviously trusts you.
Perhaps you can influence his decision.
Dr. Watson is not keen to negotiate.
I'll pay. 15 grand to make the approach.
Well, there's no need to
be quite so spendy, guv.
I know a bloke in Brighton
who will lop that hand off for 50 quid.
CAMERON: And 15, of course,
is just a starting offer.
Oh, yeah Dr. Watson
was quite clear
no amputations today.
Sorry to disappoint, Mr. Phipps.
How can I help you, Miss?
[AMERICAN ACCENT]: I'm just
trying my luck with Dr. Watson.
Unfortunately, we've changed our policy
regarding pharma reps. No loitering.
So
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES]
SHINWELL: What are you
doing in our office?
[REGULAR VOICE]: Gathering
ideas. Taking attendance.
That's good. You've
learned not to ask why.
Do you mind if I just ?
[GRUNTS]
Not too many.
I'm rather fond of it.
Professor Moriarty would
like similar specimens
from each of the fellows at the clinic.
Doesn't have to be hair.
A tissue, maybe.
All right.
So, you're collecting DNA.
What do you want theirs for?
[SIGHS]
ADAM: Hey. Let's check again.
You're more obsessed
with my profile than I am.
Not obsessed, just in awe.
It's like an eclipse
or the northern lights.
You're actually getting likes.
You cracked the dating apps.
Is the vibe weird in here?
Hello. You with me?
Ever since that night
with your spinal patient,
the vibe's been like weird
between you and Watson, right?
INGRID: I haven't noticed anything.
Can I help you with something?
SASHA: Geez Louise.
Good night, Dr. Derian.
I have something for you.
- What is it?
- I know, officially,
I'm supposed to be
looking for a new job.
I understand Dr.
Morstan doesn't trust me.
I can't be part of the
spinal signal project anymore,
I accept that.
Mary is not one to walk back a decision.
There are meaningful
concessions in there.
Please just read it.
If you think it is worth
saving, then just
say so. Pass that on to Dr. Morstan.
Ingrid, I know this wasn't easy for you.
Dr. Watson, do you know a
man named Cameron Phipps?
- Yes.
- He just came into the ER
via ambulance, and right
before he passed out,
he asked to see you.
ANDREWS: He came in with chemical burns
on his right shoulder and his back.
I didn't get the whole story,
but I'm told it was hydrochloric acid.
You're Watson?
I'm Damian Phipps.
- Cameron's brother.
- What happened to him, Damian?
We were touring the new
labs we just endowed.
Um, students were
working in there. Uh
Walking past one of the
lab stations and Cam
It just happened before
any of us could stop him.
He grabbed a container that
was half-full of liquid
hydrochloric acid, I think and
- poured it on his back.
- Uh, wait.
So he burned himself
with hydrochloric acid?
He didn't want to do it, Dr. Watson.
He was screaming in agony
until the pain meds took hold.
Did Cameron burn himself, or was it
Cameron's hand?
♪
CAMERON: I'm gonna die. This
thing is going to kill me.
No, no, you're not gonna
die by your own h
You're not gonna die.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
Sorry.
Maybe we should just
let it do what it wants.
- Cam, world needs you.
- For what?
I'm a freak with an alien hand,
and now I have the burn scars to match.
Nurse Andrews, can you restrain
Cameron's left arm, please?
I'll keep my eye on him.
Absolutely I will.
Hey, hey, hey, I need you for one thing.
Yeah, be my brother.
Can you believe Damian's my brother?
He just glides through the world.
Oh, yes, of course I can. You both have
widow's peaks, you have flared eyebrows,
and your
You're being facetious.
You have my sympathies
for everything you're
going through, Mr. Phipps,
but you are in the right place.
My team and I, we do
work on unusual cases.
And if you let us, I promise
you we will find a way to help.
INGRID: Chop it off.
Give him what he wants.
It's not even his dominant hand.
Cameron Phipps can afford
the best prosthetics on the market.
I don't see the issue.
The issue is, we took an oath.
- That's among the issues.
- [PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES]
INGRID: Cameron would be better off.
Unless he never wakes
up from the anesthesia,
or has phantom limb pain,
or gets deep vein thrombos
There's no injury, disease,
or trauma to Mr. Phipps's hand.
So let's agree that we're not going
- to amputate it.
- [PHONE CHIMING, BUZZING]
Oh, sorry.
If we're not gonna do the obvious thing,
we should assess his cognitive function.
We should run brain imaging.
Last night Cameron Phipps's left hand
picked up a jar of acid
and poured it down his back.
- [PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES]
- [SIGHS]
- Does someone need you, Dr. Croft?
- [PHONE CONTINUES CHIMING]
That is the sound of
women all over Pittsburgh
trying to break off and
nibble a piece of my brother.
SASHA: We want to protect
Cameron Phipps from his own hand,
it seems like we need to attenuate
some of his motor functions.
What's the line, though?
Where does the "alien" threshold end
and the patient's
functioning mobility begin?
- We know how to take his motor functions to zero.
- [WATSON CLEARS THROAT]
ADAM: What about botulinum
toxin? It's a literal paralytic.
Rich people use it all the
time to freeze their faces
so that they don't get wrinkles.
We could use it to freeze
Cameron Phipps' left hand.
WATSON: Okay, a targeted
injection into the extensor muscle
in the left forearm.
Well, we need to figure
out the right dosage,
and that could provide partial relief.
I'm proposing something
a little more foolproof.
I don't think there's such a thing
as "partial amputation," Dr. Watson.
Uh, last I checked,
it-it was all-or-nothing.
WATSON: Think of your
left hand as a battery.
Full usage means it's fully charged,
but if we can drain it,
we can take away some of its functions.
You'd still have
some mobility left,
not enough to hurt
yourself or anybody else.
How would you do this?
Surgery. We'd target the nerves
controlling the hand
movements and deaden them.
- I want it. I want it today.
- Has anyone ever done this before?
Well, it can't happen until
we find a neurosurgeon first.
And this operation would
be the first of its kind.
We'd keep your brother's hand immobile
with some neurotoxin injections
until we can arrange everything.
And that's been done before?
WATSON: Well, it's not
the standard of care,
but alien hand syndrome is-is so rare,
there really is no standard.
CAMERON: Look at it, Damian.
It feels like this thing
wants the end of me.
These treatments,
they'll give me my life back?
If these shots work,
we can discharge you
as soon as tomorrow.
You can recover from home
until we have everything arranged or
until you need another injection.
CAMERON: Let's do it.
Give me the shots. Let's find a surgeon.
Okay, then. Thank you.
Uh, we'll add your name
to the list of candidates.
No ego like a neurosurgeon ego.
- Got some interest?
- Uh, two local.
Three willing to get on the next flight.
- Watson has his pick.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Nice.
- Are you okay?
- Excuse me?
You and I, w-we're friends.
I think we're friends.
We do friend-adjacent stuff.
Okay, where is this all coming from?
That patient from the
spinal signal thing,
are you connected to her?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
It's the only thing that makes sense.
She comes in that night,
you have this intense conversation
with Watson and Mary, and
suddenly you're off the project.
You left a letter in the printer tray.
You're looking around for other jobs?
Why do you want to know all this?
Because we're friends.
You know, I like you.
That's why we can't be friends.
You tell me
you're my friend,
and I start thinking
about what to do with that.
People who are friends with me get hurt.
That's a lonely way to live.
Yeah. So is being friends with everyone.
Yeah, I know that.
You are right, though.
We can't be friends.
Not until you stop underestimating me.
And I would never let you hurt me.
[PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES]
So, how does it feel?
Is it just numb or dead?
I can feel pressure if I poke it.
I can even move it if I concentrate.
You're hurt, Cam. We should call a car.
It's a mile to Shadyside,
and I've been lashed to a
bed for the past 36 hours.
You don't have to walk with me.
I want to make sure you get settled.
Uh, did you, did you
tell Dad that I, uh
[STAMMERS]: about the burn?
He would've come, you know, if he could.
Right.
Uh Whoa.
Okay. What, um
You know what? They
didn't give you enough?
Let's go back to the hospital.
Hey. Okay, okay.
- Come on, let go.
- Help.
[GRUNTING]
- Cam.
- Dame.
- Let go.
- I can't, it's not me.
- Cam.
- [BOTH GRUNT]
[GASPING, CLAMORING]
The suspect has an alien hand?
WATSON: Alien hand syndrome.
Cameron Phipps has alien hand syndrome.
Spelled like it sounds?
- It is.
- [SIGHS] I've got, let's say,
two dozen people who
say they saw Mr. Phipps
shove his brother in
front of a moving bus.
But this alien hand syndrome means
he's somehow not responsible?
I can't tell you what
happened 'cause I wasn't there.
But I can tell you
that Cameron Phipps has
a rare medical condition
in which his left hand
sometimes acts on its own accord.
So if he was saying that it
was his hand and not him
He is saying that.
then it's at least
possible that he's right.
Detective ?
Lestrade.
Detective Lestrade,
I know how this sounds, I do.
Cameron Phipps took out
the only other direct heir
to the family fortune
with this little move.
Made himself taking a stab here
a hundred million dollars.
Fair. But he can't spend that money
if he's in prison for murder.
If he wanted to get rid of his brother,
why would he do it on the
corner of a busy street?
If he was in cahoots with a doctor
who said he wasn't responsible,
could explain all that.
Oh, you mean me? No. No, no, no, no.
I solve crimes. I don't,
I don't commit 'em.
- You solve crimes?
- Oh, yes, on an amateur basis.
S-semi-pro, really.
Overseas. Not, not, not around
Pittsburgh or anything like that.
Listen, I-I understand
how that sounds, too.
I-I do, but I am trying to tell you,
Cameron Phipps has a
novel medical condition,
and he's also covered
in second-degree burns.
He needs to be in a hospital,
under protective custody, if you'd like.
That's a judge's decision,
not mine.
I'll take your expertise
under advisement.
Thank you. Can I talk to my patient now?
Go ahead.
You said my hand wouldn't work.
Yeah, I'm sorry, that dosage,
it should have been sufficient.
It's an experimental procedure.
Dame was the only person in my family
who'd still encourage my
ideas, and I-I killed him.
Okay, but was it really
you, though, Cameron?
Does it matter?
Can I stand in front
of a judge and-and say,
"It wasn't me, Your
Honor. It was my hand"?
[PHONE RINGS]
You absolutely can say that.
You have experts backing you up.
Your lawyers, they can
file for an injunction
to get you into a hospital today.
We have a-a surgeon ready
to perform the operation.
Dr. Choi he's coming all
the way from Korea tonight.
So by the time you stand trial,
the problem could be gone.
[PHONE RINGS]
Excuse me.
I'm a little busy, Shinwell.
SHINWELL: Did you, by chance,
order a pallet of fake meat product?
Fake meat? Of course not.
The box says "Phippshmeat."
Uh, that, that was me.
Oh, I-I believe it's a, uh,
it's a, it's a gift from our patient.
Uh-huh, all right.
I'll see you shortly.
I-I had that sent yesterday
when you took me on,
um, before all-all this.
A-a pallet of fake meat?
Uh, "shmeat" is-is
preferable. "Sheet of meat."
By the way, um,
how much freezer space
do you have at the clinic?
Oh
Nobody wants any Phippshmeat?
I can't see anything about
FDA approval on the packaging.
This could be human
meat for all we know.
You bring up cannibalism a lot.
Something you want to tell us?
I'm out on anything lab-grown.
Hurry up and dump the shmeat.
We have a videoconference
with Dr. Choi in Busan.
We're still doing surgery on Cameron?
This might be a legal case now,
but Cameron Phipps is still our patient.
The threat that hand
poses is greater than ever.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Dr. Choi has to board a long flight,
so let's stay focused.
[PROJECTOR BEEPS]
Doctor, we propose to
diminish the motor input
in the hand by 50%.
I still think it should be 80.
We undershot with the neurotoxin,
and look what happened.
[PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES]
ADAM: I thought you
turned off notifications.
STEPHENS: That wasn't me.
WATSON: We're interested
in your input, of course,
but we believe 50% will prevent
the transmission of certain
nerve impulses and knock out
the alien hand but still
preserve enough of the motor input
so it could retain some
essential functions.
Say, for instance, if the
patient ever had children,
he'd be able to hold them.
If you can hold a baby,
you can throw a baby.
Okay, don't-don't
translate that, please.
[CHOI SPEAKING KOREAN]
TRANSLATOR: We can accomplish
this via a new technique
I named selective peripheral
topographic neurolysis.
I can isolate the radial ulnar
and median nerves in the forearm
and selectively shave
some of the motor fibers.
Guv. Guv?
Uh, Cameron Phipps just
finished his hearing.
The judge released him to UHOP.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
- WATSON: Okay, this all looks great.
Dr. Choi, thank you for your time.
You have a safe flight.
We look forward to seeing
you here in Pittsburgh.
- See you soon.
- [PROJECTOR BEEPS]
[CRYING]
May I visit my patient, please?
Cameron, how you doing?
Um my lawyer left me
with some, uh, hope, I guess.
I have a diagnosis and
a pattern of injuries
that have escalated over time.
I've sought treatment for a year,
and I am willing to undergo
an experimental surgery
to correct the issue.
He said that's a lot to work with.
Well, we have one of the top
neurosurgeons in the world
flying in from Busan, so
we can proceed as soon
as you and he are ready.
I'm ready now.
Deaden the nerves.
Give me my life back.
Okay. I'll book the OR,
and Dr. Choi will be
able to operate tomorrow.
Thank you, Dr. Watson,
for working with me,
for standing behind me.
I'm I'm very grateful.
Of course.
Uh
Uh, Mrs. Cromartie. Uh
Dr. Watson, this is
the woman who raised me.
Oh. Oh, stop that, Cameron.
She's still looking
after my dad's place.
[CROMARTIE CHUCKLES]
What are you doing down here?
It's your father, Cameron.
He's he didn't react well
to the news about Damian.
It's his heart.
Is Dad okay?
He's been admitted to the ICU.
They say he's in critical condition.
Well, I-I wish him the best, of course.
Thank you. I'll, um
I'll leave you two to talk about it.
Oh, Cameron, thanks for the meat.
Uh, Dr. Watson?
[PANTING]
You didn't eat any of it, did you?
Phippshmeat?
No. No, I didn't.
[SIGHS] Thank God.
Why, is it unsafe?
It is neither safe nor appetizing.
[SIGHS]
Cameron has started that
company from scratch four times.
So, Cameron's a serial entrepreneur?
He would give $40 million
to a lemonade stand.
Mr. Phipps finally cut him off
after Cameron's second
attempt at Phippshmeats.
God only knows where the money
came for the third and fourth.
But you didn't eat it.
Congrats on your native good sense.
DAMIAN: Cam, come on, Cam.
[STRUGGLING]
[DOOR OPENS]
Guv.
You've been squirreled
away up here for hours.
Did you know Cameron Phipps
filed for bankruptcy two years ago?
No, I did not.
But neither am I shocked.
The man did name his
company Phippshmeat.
Yeah, but think about all the resources
that he's had at his disposal.
Right? He had th-the trust
fund, his father's backing,
and even with all of that,
Cameron's been through four versions
of this lab-grown meat company. Right?
Before that, it was CBD gummies.
Now, throw two divorces
onto that bonfire.
I can't audit the man, but
I I bet you he was broke.
Convenient, then, for Mr. Phipps
to be cursed with an affliction
that killed the only other
heir to his father's fortune.
- Exactly.
- But why
would he hit the crosswalk button
if he didn't want the bus to stop?
Look at this.
He never actually hit the button.
See?
Now look at this moment.
Look at Damian's expression
when he says his brother's name.
Damian's not reacting to the alien hand.
Damian's reacting to the look
he sees in Cameron's eyes.
Now watch this.
See, he pauses when he
grabs his brother's shirt
and shifts his gaze to the left.
Yeah, you think he's timing the shove.
I can't prove anything.
It's just a pause and a head tip,
but I think this may
have been intentional.
Cameron is using the fact
that he has alien hand syndrome
to get rid of his brother.
And if I'm right,
this wasn't an accident.
It was murder.
And now you're saying
it's not an alien hand?
Look, Cameron Phipps does
have alien hand syndrome.
But it wasn't Cameron's hand
that pushed Damian in front of that bus.
It was Cameron.
Cameron disguised a murder
within his existing condition.
Which is actually the
best plan he's ever had.
And you think all this 'cause
Cameron Phipps tilted his head?
Yes. See, look.
If you look closely
he's obviously timing the bus.
You swore up and down yesterday
that this was an accident.
I spent an hour at the
district attorney's office
explaining that sometimes,
according to you,
a man's hand can just
push his brother in front of a bus.
Yes, and sometimes it can happen.
I just don't believe it happened here.
What about the jar
of acid down his back?
Yeah, if I'm right,
that was also Cameron.
He did it to make the hand look
dangerous to set up the push.
Mm-hmm.
Well, looks like you
got yourself in a pickle.
Well, I wouldn't
necessarily call it a pickle
but more like an evolving theory.
An evolving theory, to
a good defense attorney,
is called "changing your story."
You think Cameron Phipps
hired a bad defense attorney?
I'll tell the D.A. you evolved.
You got a nice suit,
so I'll even review the tapes
that we collected at
the scene last week.
- Thank you.
- But if you're right
if this was a murder,
I don't know how to say this nice, Doc.
But you got played.
INGRID: It's a ballsy plan.
Murder his brother in front
of a few dozen witnesses,
then line up the best doctor in the city
to say it's not his fault, then profit?
STEPHENS: We have no actual
evidence this was a murder.
We have a pause and a head tilt.
Either of which could have
happened for dozens of reasons.
We need more evidence.
The police need more evidence.
Once this operation is finished,
so is our connection to this patient.
So you can live with
knowing that Cameron Phipps
is about to get away with murder?
STEPHENS: You can live with the idea
that some deserving patient
might not get our attention
[CHUCKLING]: because
you have a bruised ego?
You got duped.
Okay, so far, I just got
used. I didn't get duped
unless he gets away with it.
But the current theory on the table says
that our patient is guilty of murder.
The treatment is, of course,
indictment and a trial.
Which is good news because we
can make our case medically.
Now, the first point of
weakness is the acid burn.
There's no way that
Cameron dumped that jar
down his back without a trial run first.
You think he burned
himself more than once?
Oh, I think he burned somebody else.
That Phipps money can
be very convincing.
Ingrid and Stephens, check with our ER,
see if there's been an
influx of acid burns.
And check the students
at that new lab, too.
Sasha and Adam,
comb through Cameron's records.
See if there's been
any types of conflict
with Cameron and his brother.
I'm gonna review his genetic tests.
I suspect that he has a "milkman gene."
What is the milkman gene?
It's a mutation to his DRD4 gene.
It's been linked with promiscuity
and other impulsive behaviors.
The failed businesses.
The divorces. It all adds up.
Does everybody
understand the assignment?
Uh, this is perfect.
It works, but it can't work against me.
Yes, Dr. Choi did a remarkable job.
You know, Cameron, when you're ready
there is something I'd
like to talk to you about.
Of course, Doctor. What's on your mind?
Well, this intervention
has been effective.
You won't have to suffer from
alien hand syndrome anymore.
But I am curious, though
what happened
between you and Damian?
Was it really your hand?
Of course.
Why would I want to hurt my own brother?
You have a mutation to your DRD4 gene.
It's called the "promiscuity gene."
And it's not just about sex.
But it does make you more
likely to commit impulsive acts.
I live by my instincts.
That's not a sickness.
And it certainly didn't
lead me to kill my brother.
There is a treatment for that mutation.
We can help.
You won't have to
live like this anymore,
and your lawyers, they can
ask for reduced charges.
Reduced from what?
Oh, I-I guess you didn't hear.
D.A. isn't pursuing this.
If you're right about
what happened to Damian
then that would mean
that I finally did something right.
I came up with a plan
and I got some of the smartest
people in the world to buy into it
and it worked.
I won.
Me, Cameron Phipps. I won.
And all it cost me was a burn on my back
and a little bit of
mobility in my left arm.
And your brother.
It also cost you your brother.
Right. Damian.
You've got murder inside you, Cameron.
I should have seen it.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
No one sees past my hand.
Thank you, Dr. Watson.
None of this would've
been possible without you.
♪
This lab is absolutely incredible.
Seriously. I want to
do an internship here.
I'll do more work than the robot.
His name's Clyde.
Well, we didn't invite you down
here to, uh, show off the lab.
Your instructor said
that you gave yourself
three chemical burns
with hydrochloric acid
within the space of three weeks?
Yeah, well, I get stressed
when finals are close.
I got clumsy
Oh, it looks like they
get more severe as they go.
Almost like you were
testing out how much acid
you'd need for a second-degree burn.
And why would I do that?
STEPHENS: If someone paid
you to do this, Vijay,
say someone picked up your student loans
in exchange for you giving
yourself those burns,
that's not a crime.
But you should know
that you may be a part of a murder plan.
Whoa I didn't kill anybody.
Nobody's saying that you did.
But if you admit that
Cameron Phipps paid you
to test those burns on yourself,
you could help prove that he did.
INGRID: You tell us
what we want to know,
we'll get in the door
at the Holmes Clinic.
Yes, and I wind up tied up in court.
Not that I'm admitting there's any
kind of arrangement to begin with,
but if there is,
do you know how much a year
of graduate school costs?
We are talking about a
murderer walking away scot-free.
Yes, but I didn't do it.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry, guys, but I'm
sticking with the deal I've got.
Your sense of civic
duty is severely stunted.
You'll be a billionaire
by the time you're 30.
30? So I look lazy to you?
[SCOFFS]
SHINWELL: How to weigh the
value of one life over another?
The Fellows' DNA, in
the hands of Moriarty,
can only be used for only one thing.
To take them off the field of play.
Fake samples it is, then.
Moriarty will never get his
hands on the Fellows' DNA.
Not from the bastard Shinwell Johnson.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
No, no, no, no, no, no.
If those boxes are
packed with fake meat,
I'm afraid we're already full.
These are records from the
Phipps family board meetings.
They even loaned me this
gentleman to cart the stuff.
And you are?
Detective Lestrade. Pittsburgh Police.
Oh. Uh, Shinwell Johnson.
Dr. Watson's aide and general dogsbody.
I get the impression
you've caused harm in your
life, Shinwell Johnson.
I think that's just unbridled
virility you can sense.
I don't think so.
The board of BCH Phipps has
agreed to share these files,
in case they may be of assistance
in your amateur investigation.
You could find some evidence
of conflict between the sons.
Oh, much obliged, ma'am.
- Morning.
- Hi.
Excuse me,
are you part of the Phipps family?
Um, no, definitely not.
My name's Keith Cromartie.
My mom's been their
housekeeper for 40 years.
- Huh.
- WATSON: Detective Lestrade.
Did you decide to join
in the investigation?
I brought you records.
Make something of 'em,
don't make something of 'em.
Just don't say I didn't help.
Watson?
Would you happen to be a
part of the Phipps family?
Uh, I get that a lot,
but, uh, nah, no relation.
Mm-hmm.
You see it, too, don't you?
Oh, yes, widow's peak, flared eyebrow,
repaired cleft lip.
That guy may be the housekeeper's kid,
but I'd bet six months rent
he's also John Phipps' son.
Mm, yes, there's another heir
to the Phipps family fortune.
I can't talk about Keith's father,
even if I wanted to.
[SIGHS]
There are NDAs,
lawyers who would
take everything I have.
WATSON: Miss, I
understand, but I believe
Cameron Phipps killed his own brother.
Well, how would me telling the truth
- about my son prove that?
- It wouldn't.
And I can't prove that he's guilty,
but I'm looking for a
different kind of justice.
Cameron possesses something
called a promiscuity gene.
It makes you prone to
impulsive behaviors.
John Phipps certainly was promiscuous.
He had systems in place.
A lawyer to deal with the
nondisclosure agreements.
Do you have any idea how many?
Keith sent his DNA to one
of those lineage sites.
Came back he had
[SCOFFS] 36 half-siblings.
The man had 36 kids out of wedlock?
Oceans of money, promiscuity gene.
John Phipps had no
checks on his behavior.
If your son could give
us a look at that site,
that's not violating any type
of nondisclosure agreement.
WATSON: There he is,
a vulture sitting vigil.
Hope you don't mind, I've
brought my whole team.
UHOP is a teaching hospital.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, and you remember Detective Lestrade.
Front-row seat for your number one fan.
I appreciate your devotion,
but I'm trying to spend
these last few sacred
moments with my father.
He has more time than you think.
Unless you have other plans for him.
WATSON: That would be
Cameron's ultimate folly,
and it would be in vain.
Why, you ask? Behold.
Most people in their
right mind might wonder,
who wouldn't be satisfied
with splitting $300
million with their brother?
But then, they haven't led your life.
According to bankruptcy records,
your multiple attempts at
a truly impossible burger
add up to a cool $17 mil.
SASHA: Plus the previous
debts you accrued from your
artisanal flavored ice cube venture?
Ahead of its time.
INGRID: Including your own affairs,
resulting in two ex-wives,
two kids between them.
Alimony. Child support.
WATSON: Then, suddenly,
$150 million just is
not quite enough, is it?
So, why not
double it?
This brings us to the
good news, bad news.
The good is, even though
you lost your brother,
you don't have to mourn
your father's death alone.
You have Keith, for one.
Mrs. Cromartie's son?
Your half brother.
Did you think the cleft
lip was a coincidence?
Father said it was a common trait.
WATSON: Oh, with his help, even more so.
Keith discovered that he had 36
half-siblings, so many that he thought
that they all had the same sperm donor.
INGRID: And, given their own inherited
promiscuous mutation,
they all have kids, too.
STEPHENS: 18 nieces and nine nephews.
And counting.
WATSON: Direct
descendants of Mr. Phipps.
A total of 68 pockets to
fill with your inheritance.
STEPHENS: 136 pockets,
'cause pockets come in pairs.
That-that-that's my money.
I earned it.
WATSON: Oh, by all means, fight for it.
These relatives live in Europe.
Ports in your father's travels.
SASHA: And Keith already alerted them
about their potential inheritance.
European courts could
force them into arbitration,
taking a 75% inheritance tax.
At best, your fortune
will be tied up for years,
if not drained completely.
Oh, that's the bad news, by the way.
Any thoughts, questions, regrets?
LESTRADE: Well, I found that riveting.
Still can't bring him in,
but who can hate on poetic justice?
We'll leave you to grieve
your losses, Mr. Phipps.
So, who are you meeting up with first?
STEPHENS: No idea, haven't even
gone through all the DMs yet.
ADAM: Let me see your phone.
Who knows your type better than I do?
Let's see.
It is insane that you
have this many messages.
STEPHENS: Why is that surprising?
- [BOOK SLAMS TO FLOOR]
- SASHA: Whoopsie-daisy.
[SIGHS]
Whoa, you all right?
You almost jumped a mile.
It's my overactive amygdala.
Well, hope you have a nice night.
[SHUDDERING]
[GASPING]
Wait!
[FOOTSTEPS RETURNING]
Can I talk to you?
I think we are friends.
I want to be.
I think I want to be,
even though you say things
like, "whoopsie-daisy."
- [CHUCKLES]
- What you said about not letting
me hurt you, I would
never hurt you on purpose.
I know that. I was just being dramatic.
I need to tell you
that my father's gone.
He's never coming back.
He left when you were 16.
He didn't leave.
He's gone, he's never coming back.
I can personally guarantee
that he's never coming back.
Do you understand?
He hurt me.
He hurt my sister.
He's the one who put
her in a wheelchair.
Gigi? Oh, my God.
Gigi's the one you wrote the letter for.
I lied to you about that.
I've lied a lot.
I kept it a secret for 15 years.
That's why you lost the trial.
Someone found out before that.
Someone found out that
Someone found out what I did.
And I think they're
trying to blackmail me.
And I don't know what to do.
I always know what to do.
Oh, no. It's okay.
It's okay.
You're gonna be okay.
[CRYING]
I always know what to do.
[SOBBING]
I don't know what to do.
It's okay.
How do you imagine this ends?
Eh?
Moriarty now, not
that I know the man
strikes me as one that finishes a plan
and then promptly cleans house.
Why leave loose ends lying about?
Two words, Shinwell:
Stay
useful.
And if you should feel this
usefulness coming to an end?
Get creative.
Find another function.
["LAWMAKER" BY DARKSIDE PLAYING]
He's wearing a doctor's coat ♪
But in his hand is the
ring of a lawmaker ♪
WATSON: To what do I owe the honor,
Detective Lestrade?
21 years I been a murder police.
I could retire, full pension,
but something keeps me coming back.
Could be I'm looking for a surprise.
Could be that surprise is you.
I'm flattered. I said, "could be."
If you ever need to contact the police,
I'd be honored to be
your first phone call.
Same goes for you,
if you ever need a medical perspective.
Can I see you out?
Dr. Watson.
Hello, my name is Vijay Dewan.
I was in here yesterday.
Oh, the one with the burn scars.
Yes. About that,
I may or may not have made an
arrangement for compensation,
but it seems my partner has
some sudden cash flow issues.
He's trying to pay with shares
from some company called Phippshmeats.
What am I going to do with a warehouse
full of rotting fake meat?
Look, you're not gonna find a
more qualified chemist anywhere.
If you give me this internship here,
I'll tell you the whole story.
LESTRADE: Cameron Phipps paid you
to burn yourself with hydrochloric acid?
Wait right here, please.
I'll take your statement
after we arrest Cameron Phipps.
Do you want to do the honors
of cuffing him, or should I?
I don't know how you
did things overseas,
but here in Pittsburgh,
it's the cops that
handle the handcuffing.
Okay, what about a citizen's arrest?
He's wearing a doctor's coat ♪
But in his hand is
the ring of a lawmaker. ♪