Happy Days (1974) s01e11 Episode Script

1
One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock rock
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
Put your glad rags on, join me, hon
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes two, three, and four
If the band slows down, we'll yell for more
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the chimes ring five, six, and seven
We'll be right in seventh heaven
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes twelve, we'll cool off then
Start a-rockin' 'round the clock again
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock, rock, rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock, gonna rock around the clock tonight ♪
This day is ours ♪
Two burgers, one dog, one malt,
three cherry cola, one lime freeze.
That'll be a buck 50.
Go buy yourself a banana.
Hey, Rich, your friend was looking for you
The blabbermouth.
Oh, yeah, Potsie. Where is he?
Down there.
Hey, Rich, you look nice all dressed up.
Well, the French club had their picture taken
for the yearbook.
Oh? J'ai une rouge plume.
I took a year.
Th-that's very good.
J'ai une rouge plume.
Great! Great! That makes 17.
One more, and we tie Madison's record.
Ralph, have you seen Potsie around?
Uh yeah, he's in the booth.
Really? Yeah.
Potsie? Potsie!
Down here, Rich.
Hey, Rich. Rich, wanna climb in?
One more, and we tie the record.
I don't think so.
Aw, come on. We just need one more.
Why don't you do it, then?
Me? I'm the official counter.
Come on, Rich, please! Come on.
Well, I don't know.
We're sure to get our picture in the school newspaper.
Maybe even Life magazine.
Ah, I'm too dressed up to fool around.
I got my good clothes on.
So you'll look great in Life magazine!
Come on. It'll be a blast.
Come on, Rich! Come on!
- Come on!
- Come on in!
I'll do it.
Hey, look out for Spider's elbow.
Heave all right, we tied!
That's it, we did it! Madison's record!
I'd better take a count, just to make it official.
I gotta do it, I gotta do it.
Hi, Potsie. Oh, hey, Rich.
Guess what. I got a date with Susan Denton.
So? So?
I'm the first guy she ever went
out with that wasn't on varsity.
Oh, I'm happy for you.
Hey, would you mind moving your
hand? You're bending my tie clasp.
She said she'd go to Ralph's costume party with me,
but she's got this cousin, and, um
I don't go on blind dates anymore.
Aw, come on, Rich. You owe me a favor.
For what? Some memory you've got.
How about that date I got you with Mary Ellen Liske?
That's why I don't go on blind dates anymore.
Oh, come on, Rich. This is important.
Be a buddy.
Is she good-looking? I heard she's a lot of fun.
She's fat. And she's got a great personality.
She's fat with glasses.
To tell you the truth, Rich, I've never seen her.
Aha.
But I'll make sure you get to see her before the party, OK?
If I don't like her, the date's off, OK?
But I just bought you a soda.
That doesn't make any difference.
What's the world coming to
when you can't bribe your best friend?
Howard, would you mind if I teamed up
with Harry Malph for our bridge game?
Why don't you want to be my partner?
Well, Hazel and I were talking,
and we decided that husband-and-wife teams
just argue too much.
Oh, now, that's ridiculous, Marion.
I don't argue. I make suggestions.
You make them very loud, dear.
Are you and Mom fighting?
We're not fighting. We're having a discussion.
Your father discusses loud, too.
All right, Marion.
I promise I won't make any more loud suggestions.
Now, then, will you please stay as my partner?
All right.
Dad, when you guys play,
do you usually go straight through or take a lot of breaks?
We usually play straight through. Why?
I was just wondering.
He's afraid you're gonna raid the party.
Oh. Well, don't worry, Richie.
I'm going there to play bridge, not to raid the party.
How come you raided mine?
That's because Blimpy the Clown
was jumping all over the furniture.
He was making us laugh.
Who wants cake? I do.
I do. I do.
What are you gonna wear to Ralph's costume party?
I haven't decided yet.
How about something like Donald Duck?
Oh, Mom.
Well, what's wrong with Donald Duck?
Mom, it's hard necking with a beak.
That's not the reason.
It is so. They do a lot of kissing at those parties.
There's nothing wrong with a little harmless kissing.
Jeff Slakus thinks there is.
Who's Jeff Slakus?
A boy who tried to kiss me once.
What?
I smashed him in the nose.
Good for you, dear.
That light's a thousand bumper.
A thousand points if I get that bumper. All right. OK.
OK, you got it, you got it!
You're blocking the bonus wheel!
Oh, nuts!
Rich, you're not in bad shape. You got 33,000.
Only 50,000 more for a free game.
Yeah, but this is my last ball coming up.
Hit the ball.
Well, but if I lose this ball, I'll blow the whole game.
Hit the ball!
Hey
It's a free game.
Goodness gracious me! How'd you ever manage that?
That's great, Fonzie. Thanks!
Hey, Rich, I got something to tell you.
Oh, I can't talk now. I just got a free game.
Free game? That's kid's stuff!
I got something important to tell you.
What do you want? Well, I couldn't get ahold of Phyllis,
but I got a picture of her for you.
Ho-ho-ho!
She looks just like Jayne Mansfield.
Whoa, ho-ho-ho!
It is Jayne Mansfield. It came with the wallet.
Here, right here, that's her.
Oh. Oh. I can't tell what she looks like.
Half of her face is in the shade.
Rich, it's a face.
The half in the shade looks like the other half,
except it's on the other side.
Use your imagination.
All right, I guess she's pretty. I'll take her.
Great! Hey, look, I'll go pick up both costumes,
and I'll pick you up at 7:00. OK.
See ya later. Right, Potsie.
Hey, all set for the little dress-up party, Richie?
Yeah, I guess so. Who you takin'?
Well, Potsie's setting me up with Susan Denton's cousin.
You don't know her.
A blind date?
Oh, no, I wouldn't go on a blind date.
Is she good-lookin'?
Phyllis? Well, she's kind of hard to describe.
She's, uh, very dark, very mysterious,
but all you need is one quick glimpse of her, and
That bad, huh? Whoa!
That must be Potsie and Richie.
Come in.
Susan?
Hi, Potsie. In here.
Hi.
We'll be done in a second.
Finished?
Sure.
I'm Susan.
I'm Richie Cunningham.
And this is my cousin Phyllis.
Hi.
Hi.
I'll get my flats.
Down-down-down-down-down-dee-dooby
Down-down-down-down-down
Down-dee-dooby-down
Sha-sha-la-la-la-la ♪
Oh, wheel of fortune
I'm hoping somehow
If you'll ever smile on me
Please let it be now ♪
Rich, I really think you're overreacting to this, huh?
I mean, look at it this way
Um, Jane Russell's tall, right?
Would you turn down a date with Jane Russell?
No. Get me a date with Jane Russell.
At least you still got your sense of humor.
Oh, hey, there's Fonzie. Come on.
Not bad, huh, Fonz?
Hey, Fonz.
Isn't it great? I never thought Fonz would come.
Sheena of the Jungle here wanted to wear her outfit.
I mean, where else was I gonna take her dressed like that
The zoo?
Uh, couldn't you get a costume, Fonzie?
I'm wearin' a costume. I'm Marlon Brando.
But that's what you wear every day.
Hey, I just said I was Brando.
I put a little tear in my t-shirt.
That's great, Fonz!
Whoa.
Thanks.
Let's see I bid three diamonds.
Oh! That's what I was gonna bid.
Why don't you switch chairs with Harry,
and then you can play diamonds with Hazel.
Can you do that?
Just bid, Marion.
Well, I don't know what I can bid.
I've got two spades and three
hearts, and all the rest of 'em
Marion, don't tell us what's in your hand.
I'm sorry. Now try to be patient, Howard.
I am patient. Now will you please bid?
Uh, three hearts.
Three spades.
It is just a game, Howard.
Well, I'll get us some punch.
That'd be nice. Yeah.
Hey, Rich, she seems like a nice girl, you know,
but, uh, I bet you don't see eye-to-eye on anything.
Well, here you go.
Thank you.
Why don't we sit down?
That'd be better.
I mean, uh, that would be fine.
Uh, wouldn't you like to sit over here?
Oh, no. No, I-I always sit on the arm.
Oh. It's funny
a lot of guys I go out with seem to do that.
Well, I suppose I could sit over there.
Uh
you have very pretty eyes.
And you, uh
have a very straight part.
Can I ask a question?
Yes, Marion, just as long as you
don't tell us what's in your hand.
OK. Uh, let's say that you're sitting in,
say, uh, the second position, and you have,
well, let's say, a short suit, like two,
one of which is a big one, like, for instance, a king,
and the other one is a little one,
you know, let's say five or six.
And the dummy has something like a queen,
which can take your little one, but not your big one.
Which one do you play?
Play the king, Marion.
Good. That's what I was gonna do.
So you think you may eventually want to become a nurse, huh?
Uh, I'm not sure.
I just know I'd like to do something
where I can help people.
Oh, that's always nice helping people. Yeah.
Oh, you know, those two
have been going together for a long time.
What would you like to do, Richie?
Me? I'm having a terrific time
just sitting here talking, Phyllis.
No, no, I meant after you get out of college.
Oh. Well, I guess, uh,
I guess I wanna go to law school, try and be a lawyer.
That's nice.
You know, actually, I believe they're engaged.
I want you to know
I usually don't neck on the first date.
It's your turn, Marion!
I know, Howard. I just don't know what to play.
Well, play anything. It doesn't matter.
It's only a game.
Well, you said to play anything.
Well, I know, but I never dreamed
Never mind.
I'm sorry.
It's all right, Marion.
It's only a game that we're losing.
You know, I haven't heard a sound from downstairs
in 20 minutes.
Harry, go downstairs,
just to make sure everything's all right.
I'll go, Hazel.
Oh, no, I couldn't ask you to do that, Howard.
It would be too much trouble.
It's a lot less trouble
than watching Marion play this hand.
Ohh, an Indian.
No, no, i-it's an eagle.
Now, this is an Indian.
Don't let me interrupt.
Oh! Oh!
Dad, what are you doing down here?!
Now don't worry, Richard.
I'm not gonna turn the lights on.
I-I just wanted to come down
and see how the party was going.
Well, everything's fine.
In this light, how can you tell?
Come here, Dad.
I'd like you to meet my date Phyllis.
Pleased to meet you, Phyllis.
You're very lovely in that costume.
Thank you.
Why don't we go get some punch, Dad?
Oh, fine.
I'll be right back.
I'll be here.
Excuse us.
She's a tall one, isn't she?
Yeah, we look sorta like Snow White and one dwarf.
She seems like a very nice girl.
But it's so strange, looking up at her all the time.
Richard, there never was a law
that said that a man had to be taller than a woman.
If there was, I wouldn't be married to your mother.
I know, Dad, but somehow it just seems more natural
for the guy to be taller than the girl.
Physical size doesn't mean anything.
People are as big as they are inside, believe me.
Look, do I seem short to you?
Yeah, Dad, you do.
Well, I better get back upstairs
and see how badly your mother and I are losing.
Cute outfit.
Hey, Mr. C.
Fonzie.
I just want you to know
that I've got everything under control down here.
See, I'm, uh, sort of a chaperon, and, uh
Sheena of the Jungle here is co-chaperon.
Co-chaperon, huh?
Yeah, so I don't want you to worry about anything.
Well, with you as chaperon, Fonzie, why should I worry?
Huh?
All right, everybody ready for strip poker!
Hey
OK, party's over.
My folks said everyone's gotta be outta here by 12:00.
Hey, Potsie Huh?
What are you and Susan doing now?
I thought we'd go for a drive.
A drive? What for?
So we can run out of gas.
Oh, bush league. Bush.
Why don't you come up to the lake with us?
If a girl won't neck there, then
running out of gas ain't gonna help.
OK. I'll go get Rich.
Good.
Hey, Rich, let's go on up to the lake with Ralph.
No. Things just aren't working out.
Oh, yeah, I understand how it is with you little fellas.
That's not funny, Potsie.
Oh, I'm sorry, Rich.
Here, take my car. I'll go with Ralph.
All right.
OK, we're ready.
Great. We're going up to the lake, Susan.
See ya later, Rich.
Are we going to the lake, Richie?
Uh no.
But I got a better idea.
You see that? That's the farmhouse
where the town's first mayor was born,
and these are the woods where his ghost is supposed to live.
It's really nice of you to show me these things.
Since you came all the way from another county,
you ought to see something more than just the town cannon.
What was that?
Probably just the muffler. Do you see that over there?
Oh, no!
What?
I don't believe it.
What is it?
There's no gas.
You mean you ran out of gas?
Oh, listen, I know what you're thinking,
but I promise you that I didn't plan this.
Really. Really.
Don't worry. I believe you.
Maybe Potsie's parents
keep an extra can of gas in the trunk.
Fonzie! Hey, Fonzie!
Fonzie, am I glad to see you.
Hey, it's a good thing
that me and Sheena are out ghost hunting.
Pray tell, little knave,
what are you doing with that can
watering silver bells and cockleshells?
We ran out of gas.
You think you could give me a lift to a station?
Where am I gonna put you, on the handlebars?
Maybe you could give us some of your gas.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Give me your dagger.
Huh? Give me your dagger.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'm down to half a blade,
but I figure I can give you a couple of drops.
Aw, thanks, Fonzie. It's all right.
Hey, what am I gonna do, leave you stranded here
dressed like that in the woods?
You might get beat up by a tough elf.
The spout's too big!
Ohh I have an idea.
Here. Try that.
Hey, that's gonna work!
Ha-ha!
I'm sorry about all the trouble,
but, uh, I really had a nice time tonight.
Yeah, it was fun.
Last time I was here,
Susan fixed me up with some basketball player
"6'2" of solid dull.
You think you might be coming back again sometime?
I might come visit this summer.
Oh, well, if you do, would you like to go out again?
I-I promise I won't run out of gas this time.
Sure, I'd love to.
Really? Well, I guess I'll see you then.
Yeah.
Did you forget something?
Would you mind if we traded places?
Not a bit.
Richie, if I tell you a secret, can I have a nickel?
What's the secret?
No, the nickel first.
All right. Here's your nickel.
What's the secret?
You got home at 2:00 last night.
That's no secret.
It is to Dad.
You're cruisin' for a bruisin', kid.
Oh, yeah? You'd have to catch me first.
Oh, good morning, pumpkin.
Hi, Dad.
Morning, Richie.
Morning, Dad.
How was your date last night?
Fine. We got along just great.
Oh? Even considering her height?
Well, sure, Dad. We're mature adults.
Well, that explains it. Explains what?
Why Mr. Mature Adult
didn't get in until 2:00 in the morning.
Joanie told you?
I gave her a nickel not to tell.
Well, there you have it. Huh?
I gave her a dime.
Joanie!
Joanie!
Joanie!
Mom!
I love you.
These happy days are yours and mine
Happy days ♪
Hello, sunshine goodbye, rain
She's wearin' my school ring on her chain
She's my steady, I'm her man
I'm gonna love her all I can
This day is ours Won't you be mine?
These happy days This day is ours
Oh, please be mine Oh, happy days
Happy days ♪