Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s01e11 Episode Script
The Dog and Piggy Show
1
How much is that doggy
in the windmill?
Ha!
Hey, good boy!
Tohru: Chan!
The ta--
talisman?
Uh, what talisman?
The one the dragons
indicate.
Oh! This talisman!
Grr!
You know, tohru,
you really
should consider
coming over
to the good side.
Section 13
has a marvelous
dental plan,
and every Thursday
is donut day.
Unh!
Jackie: Whoa! Uhh!
Unh! Grr!
Argh!
Thank you. Bye-bye.
Have a nice day!
(Seeker turns off)
Chan!
Aah! Unh!
(Seeker malfunctioning)
Hmm?
Time to walk the dog.
(Telephone ringing)
Jackie: Hello?
Jumping jackal? It's
meFearless hyena.
Jade?
Shh!
Wise old goat
roams near.
What?
Ancient rabbit has
very long ears.
What are you
talking about?!
It's uncle's
birthday!
Where are you?
Ugh! My flight
had a layover
in Bavaria.
If I never see
Bavaria again--
jackal, this isn't
about you.
Don't worry, Jade.
My plane will arrive
in plenty of time
for "operation: Surprise"
cool! So, what
did you get him?
Uh--
p.A.: Flight 19
to San Francisco
is now boarding.
Uh, that's me!
See you soon! Bye!
Chocolate, cheese
Lederhosen? Oh!
Bavaria!
(Hip-hop music
playing on radio)
Jade? Jade!
Jade!!
Ugh!
Uncle, you scared me.
And the rock
and roll noise
is scaring away
the customers.
Tsk! It's hip-hop, duh!
Come on, uncle coolio.
I'll teach you some moves.
Ugh! My hip
does not hop.
Sure it does.
You just gotta move with
the grandmaster groove.
Ohh!
(Uncle moans)
Ohh!
I am like
that antique.
Uh, valuable?
Old and brittle.
Jade & Jackie:
Happy birthday, uncle!
Jade: Heh heh!
I was all possessed
that day
but my hair
looks good.
And, uh, hey,
funny moose!
I will Cherish it,
Jade.
What did you bring me?
Jackie: Ta-da!
Oh, chocolate
stains my teeth,
and cheese makes my--
um, none of your business.
Uh--oh!
I brought you
one more thing.
It's your sign.
So how old
are you, uncle?
Jade!
Er,
in dog years?
I will do research now.
But, uncle,
we have cake!
You have
to celebrate!
When I am
- another year younger,
then I will celebrate.
You failed to retrieve
the talisman
And you sat on this.
Shendu: The seeking device
was forged by magic.
Such things are hard
to come by.
Apologies, master.
Perhaps the time has come
to have a freelancer
lead future missions.
No need, master.
I will do better.
Ahh, too late.
Tohru,
meet hak foo.
Hmm, black tiger.
He does not look
so ferocious.
(Growls)
Angry crow
takes flight!
Hyah!
Emu stands
on mountain top!
Monkey plucks 2 peaches!
Ye-ahh.
Uh, looks can be
deceiving.
"The dog talisman
is best friend to man:
"It restores youthful energy
to its holder
And grants eternal life."
Hmm.
Immortality.
Jackie, has uncle
always been, like, all,
you know, uncle-y?
No, Jade.
When uncle was young,
he was just like me.
Does that mean
you're gonna be grouchy,
constipated,
and smell like garlic
when you're uncle's age?
Oh, Jade,
respect your elders
Both of us.
Whaa!
What? What is it?
A talisman
Made of chocolate.
Jackie: The pig
is one of the signs
of the Chinese zodiac
that we haven't yet located.
And these
ferkel's chocolates
are clearly modeled
after the pig talisman.
So once again
I am off to Bavaria.
I could use
a change of scenery.
I will go with you.
Awesome.
No baby-sitter means
I get to go, too.
B-b-b-b-but, uncle,
you never leave the shop.
And what about
the dog talisman?
Bah, research can wait.
Hyah!
Whoa.
Ha-cha-cha-cha.
So
What are we waiting for?
The mainframe indicates
that one Mr. chan
has purchased
3 airline tickets
to Bavaria.
The dark hand jet awaits.
Uh, tohru, be a sport
and tag along
in the event hak foo
requires your services.
And when you meet
our friend Jackie chan?
(Growls)
Smashing melon fist!
(Oompah music playing)
I will do some sleuthing
at the chocolate factory,
Jade,
but I think it's best
that you stay with
Uncle.
You know, Jade,
they have hip-hop
here in Bavaria.
Really?
Yes.
They call it oompah.
Hmmph!
So, uh
Where shall we begin
our search for the talisman?
I don't know.
You sat on
- the seeking device,
remember?
Ahem. Well
The only talismans
left to be found
are the tiger and
The pig.
Remain here
and stand watch--
and I mean stand.
Less chance
you'll break something.
(Growls)
You see, Mr. chan,
great great
grandpapa ferkel
devised a unique method
of melting mass quantities
of cocoa beans.
But grandpapa was
a superstitious man
and took the secret
to his grave.
So, all the modern equipment
you see around you
performs essentially
the same task,
locking in wholesome
chocolatey goodness.
(Yawns)
Oh, interesting.
Grandpapa was also
a very generous man
and donated the clock tower
to the town.
What can you tell me
about the pig?
Elwin? Oh, ho ho.
Everyone loves elwinschwein.
Grandpapa considered pigs
to be his lucky animal.
No one quite knows why.
Perhaps because he found
a pig talisman?
I'm sorry?
Uhh, nothing.
And I thought
your hip didn't hop.
Ha-cha-cha-cha.
Uncle.
Hello! Cheese?
Yummy.
But cheese
gums up your
Something's different
about you.
Eeh, like what?
Well, for one thing,
you haven't said
"one more thing"
since we got here.
Uhh
Come on, uncle,
please.
You can tell me.
No way.
Way.
Uncle,
- that is so cool.
It's giving you
the power to,
uh, be cool
and stuff.
You're gonna
keep it, right?
(Thinking) Hmmm.
(Clock chimes)
Jade & uncle:
The talisman!
Hak foo:
Seeking a talisman?
Only counterfeits here.
Do I know you?
I am hak foo:
The last human
- you will ever lay eyes upon.
Mantis boxing style!
What?
Serpent pounce
technique!
Float like
lotus blossom!
What are you
talking about?
Sting like scorpion!
Aah.
Unh!
Flamingo stance.
Oh, these little piggies
went to the market.
Flying dragon
corkscrew!
Cat lands on feet
and bares claws!
Cat shakes off water.
Cat tears
squirrel's head off!
Aah!
Ooh!
Baboon leave
tuccus exposed.
(Hak foo snarls)
Hungry crane
diving for shrimp!
(Jackie groans)
Black tiger
crushes chan.
You, tiger man
Remove your feet
from Jackie.
What's a Jackie?
Take your leave
or feel the burn.
You talk the talk,
but can you
walk the walk?
Uncle, this guy
beat Jackie.
(Hak foo growls)
Monkey plucks 2 peaches!
Huh?
Whoa.
Gorilla snaps frail twig!
Guh-oh, whoo-hoo.
Twig may be frail,
but roots are slippery.
Jackie?
Uncle?
Rabbit punch!
Mule kick!
Lobster claw!
Cobra coil!
Oyster shuck!
Duck stomp!
Ow.
(Babbles)
Grrrr.
Angry crow takes flight!
Thank you for sharing,
angry crow!
Jade, uncle just leapt
20 feet into the air.
Go, uncle!
(Growls)
Hmmm.
Elephant thrusts its leg!
Baaah!
Both: Uncle!
Heh heh.
I meant fist.
Both: Uncle!
Jackie: Uncle,
are you ok?
Jade: Say something.
Retire from
talisman hunting, chan.
It is a hazardous
occupation.
Jade & Jackie:
Uncle! Uncle!
Uncle's voice:
Uncle!
Uncle!
Yes, uncle?
What happened?
- You got such a whupping.
Big mouth had a big fist.
One more thing:
There's work to do.
You must acquire
the pig talisman
and discover the power
it possesses.
But I am dead.
Aiyaaa!
How can you be dead?
You are wearing the
immortality talisman.
Oh, right.
One more thing
(Smack)
Ow!
Uncle, you're ok!
Err, see?
Lots of garlic
is good for you.
We must get
the pig talisman
before the big mouth
finds it.
But we don't know
where it is.
Oh, yes we do.
See the oinker
at 12 o'clock?
Elwin's sportin'
a pork pie hat.
We saw it earlier
when the clock chimed.
Huh? Oh, ooh.
Tohru!
Many thanks
For leading us
to the prize.
You are not welcome.
You!
But elephant fist!
Why so afraid?
He is an old man.
Uh-yuh-uh-
yuh-uh-yuh!
3 against one.
We can take him!
Jade,
the talisman.
Uh, right.
You, family-size,
stop the girl!
Sit on her!
Do something!
Grrrr!
Tiger slaughters 2 lambs!
You've been
working out.
Pfft. Like riding
a bicycle.
Unh!
Uh!
Unh! Uh! Unh! Uh!
Going up.
Whah!
(Gasps) Jackie!
Give me
That.
The lucky pig was
how grandpapa ferkel
melted his cocoa beans.
Heat-beam eye-blast?
Heat-beam eye-blast!
(Clock chiming)
Time is not
on his side.
(Scoffs)
Freelancer.
Heat-beam eye-blast.
Hak foo: Ow.
Save Jade!
Both: Bwaaaaaah!
Aaaaaaaaah!
Whoa!
Aaah!
Unh!
Huh. Oh.
(Panting)
Whoo-eee.
I will just go fetch
the pig talisman
while I am up.
Uncle
Explain.
Jackie, thank you
for allowing me
to re-experience
my youth.
But being young
is too dangerous
and exhausting!
Uncle needs a nap.
You earned it,
uncle.
See, Jade?
As tohru demonstrated,
one cannot turn back
the hands of time.
Jade: Hey, Jackie?
Yes.
Do you know how to cook?
Yes.
I know how to cook an egg
and also a lot of fruits
and water and juice
andNoodles.
Anything quick.
Scrambled eggs,
sunny-side up,
and I can cook toast.
And all kind of eggs.
Actually I am a terrible cook
but I love to eat.
If you ask me that's
my answer.
How much is that doggy
in the windmill?
Ha!
Hey, good boy!
Tohru: Chan!
The ta--
talisman?
Uh, what talisman?
The one the dragons
indicate.
Oh! This talisman!
Grr!
You know, tohru,
you really
should consider
coming over
to the good side.
Section 13
has a marvelous
dental plan,
and every Thursday
is donut day.
Unh!
Jackie: Whoa! Uhh!
Unh! Grr!
Argh!
Thank you. Bye-bye.
Have a nice day!
(Seeker turns off)
Chan!
Aah! Unh!
(Seeker malfunctioning)
Hmm?
Time to walk the dog.
(Telephone ringing)
Jackie: Hello?
Jumping jackal? It's
meFearless hyena.
Jade?
Shh!
Wise old goat
roams near.
What?
Ancient rabbit has
very long ears.
What are you
talking about?!
It's uncle's
birthday!
Where are you?
Ugh! My flight
had a layover
in Bavaria.
If I never see
Bavaria again--
jackal, this isn't
about you.
Don't worry, Jade.
My plane will arrive
in plenty of time
for "operation: Surprise"
cool! So, what
did you get him?
Uh--
p.A.: Flight 19
to San Francisco
is now boarding.
Uh, that's me!
See you soon! Bye!
Chocolate, cheese
Lederhosen? Oh!
Bavaria!
(Hip-hop music
playing on radio)
Jade? Jade!
Jade!!
Ugh!
Uncle, you scared me.
And the rock
and roll noise
is scaring away
the customers.
Tsk! It's hip-hop, duh!
Come on, uncle coolio.
I'll teach you some moves.
Ugh! My hip
does not hop.
Sure it does.
You just gotta move with
the grandmaster groove.
Ohh!
(Uncle moans)
Ohh!
I am like
that antique.
Uh, valuable?
Old and brittle.
Jade & Jackie:
Happy birthday, uncle!
Jade: Heh heh!
I was all possessed
that day
but my hair
looks good.
And, uh, hey,
funny moose!
I will Cherish it,
Jade.
What did you bring me?
Jackie: Ta-da!
Oh, chocolate
stains my teeth,
and cheese makes my--
um, none of your business.
Uh--oh!
I brought you
one more thing.
It's your sign.
So how old
are you, uncle?
Jade!
Er,
in dog years?
I will do research now.
But, uncle,
we have cake!
You have
to celebrate!
When I am
- another year younger,
then I will celebrate.
You failed to retrieve
the talisman
And you sat on this.
Shendu: The seeking device
was forged by magic.
Such things are hard
to come by.
Apologies, master.
Perhaps the time has come
to have a freelancer
lead future missions.
No need, master.
I will do better.
Ahh, too late.
Tohru,
meet hak foo.
Hmm, black tiger.
He does not look
so ferocious.
(Growls)
Angry crow
takes flight!
Hyah!
Emu stands
on mountain top!
Monkey plucks 2 peaches!
Ye-ahh.
Uh, looks can be
deceiving.
"The dog talisman
is best friend to man:
"It restores youthful energy
to its holder
And grants eternal life."
Hmm.
Immortality.
Jackie, has uncle
always been, like, all,
you know, uncle-y?
No, Jade.
When uncle was young,
he was just like me.
Does that mean
you're gonna be grouchy,
constipated,
and smell like garlic
when you're uncle's age?
Oh, Jade,
respect your elders
Both of us.
Whaa!
What? What is it?
A talisman
Made of chocolate.
Jackie: The pig
is one of the signs
of the Chinese zodiac
that we haven't yet located.
And these
ferkel's chocolates
are clearly modeled
after the pig talisman.
So once again
I am off to Bavaria.
I could use
a change of scenery.
I will go with you.
Awesome.
No baby-sitter means
I get to go, too.
B-b-b-b-but, uncle,
you never leave the shop.
And what about
the dog talisman?
Bah, research can wait.
Hyah!
Whoa.
Ha-cha-cha-cha.
So
What are we waiting for?
The mainframe indicates
that one Mr. chan
has purchased
3 airline tickets
to Bavaria.
The dark hand jet awaits.
Uh, tohru, be a sport
and tag along
in the event hak foo
requires your services.
And when you meet
our friend Jackie chan?
(Growls)
Smashing melon fist!
(Oompah music playing)
I will do some sleuthing
at the chocolate factory,
Jade,
but I think it's best
that you stay with
Uncle.
You know, Jade,
they have hip-hop
here in Bavaria.
Really?
Yes.
They call it oompah.
Hmmph!
So, uh
Where shall we begin
our search for the talisman?
I don't know.
You sat on
- the seeking device,
remember?
Ahem. Well
The only talismans
left to be found
are the tiger and
The pig.
Remain here
and stand watch--
and I mean stand.
Less chance
you'll break something.
(Growls)
You see, Mr. chan,
great great
grandpapa ferkel
devised a unique method
of melting mass quantities
of cocoa beans.
But grandpapa was
a superstitious man
and took the secret
to his grave.
So, all the modern equipment
you see around you
performs essentially
the same task,
locking in wholesome
chocolatey goodness.
(Yawns)
Oh, interesting.
Grandpapa was also
a very generous man
and donated the clock tower
to the town.
What can you tell me
about the pig?
Elwin? Oh, ho ho.
Everyone loves elwinschwein.
Grandpapa considered pigs
to be his lucky animal.
No one quite knows why.
Perhaps because he found
a pig talisman?
I'm sorry?
Uhh, nothing.
And I thought
your hip didn't hop.
Ha-cha-cha-cha.
Uncle.
Hello! Cheese?
Yummy.
But cheese
gums up your
Something's different
about you.
Eeh, like what?
Well, for one thing,
you haven't said
"one more thing"
since we got here.
Uhh
Come on, uncle,
please.
You can tell me.
No way.
Way.
Uncle,
- that is so cool.
It's giving you
the power to,
uh, be cool
and stuff.
You're gonna
keep it, right?
(Thinking) Hmmm.
(Clock chimes)
Jade & uncle:
The talisman!
Hak foo:
Seeking a talisman?
Only counterfeits here.
Do I know you?
I am hak foo:
The last human
- you will ever lay eyes upon.
Mantis boxing style!
What?
Serpent pounce
technique!
Float like
lotus blossom!
What are you
talking about?
Sting like scorpion!
Aah.
Unh!
Flamingo stance.
Oh, these little piggies
went to the market.
Flying dragon
corkscrew!
Cat lands on feet
and bares claws!
Cat shakes off water.
Cat tears
squirrel's head off!
Aah!
Ooh!
Baboon leave
tuccus exposed.
(Hak foo snarls)
Hungry crane
diving for shrimp!
(Jackie groans)
Black tiger
crushes chan.
You, tiger man
Remove your feet
from Jackie.
What's a Jackie?
Take your leave
or feel the burn.
You talk the talk,
but can you
walk the walk?
Uncle, this guy
beat Jackie.
(Hak foo growls)
Monkey plucks 2 peaches!
Huh?
Whoa.
Gorilla snaps frail twig!
Guh-oh, whoo-hoo.
Twig may be frail,
but roots are slippery.
Jackie?
Uncle?
Rabbit punch!
Mule kick!
Lobster claw!
Cobra coil!
Oyster shuck!
Duck stomp!
Ow.
(Babbles)
Grrrr.
Angry crow takes flight!
Thank you for sharing,
angry crow!
Jade, uncle just leapt
20 feet into the air.
Go, uncle!
(Growls)
Hmmm.
Elephant thrusts its leg!
Baaah!
Both: Uncle!
Heh heh.
I meant fist.
Both: Uncle!
Jackie: Uncle,
are you ok?
Jade: Say something.
Retire from
talisman hunting, chan.
It is a hazardous
occupation.
Jade & Jackie:
Uncle! Uncle!
Uncle's voice:
Uncle!
Uncle!
Yes, uncle?
What happened?
- You got such a whupping.
Big mouth had a big fist.
One more thing:
There's work to do.
You must acquire
the pig talisman
and discover the power
it possesses.
But I am dead.
Aiyaaa!
How can you be dead?
You are wearing the
immortality talisman.
Oh, right.
One more thing
(Smack)
Ow!
Uncle, you're ok!
Err, see?
Lots of garlic
is good for you.
We must get
the pig talisman
before the big mouth
finds it.
But we don't know
where it is.
Oh, yes we do.
See the oinker
at 12 o'clock?
Elwin's sportin'
a pork pie hat.
We saw it earlier
when the clock chimed.
Huh? Oh, ooh.
Tohru!
Many thanks
For leading us
to the prize.
You are not welcome.
You!
But elephant fist!
Why so afraid?
He is an old man.
Uh-yuh-uh-
yuh-uh-yuh!
3 against one.
We can take him!
Jade,
the talisman.
Uh, right.
You, family-size,
stop the girl!
Sit on her!
Do something!
Grrrr!
Tiger slaughters 2 lambs!
You've been
working out.
Pfft. Like riding
a bicycle.
Unh!
Uh!
Unh! Uh! Unh! Uh!
Going up.
Whah!
(Gasps) Jackie!
Give me
That.
The lucky pig was
how grandpapa ferkel
melted his cocoa beans.
Heat-beam eye-blast?
Heat-beam eye-blast!
(Clock chiming)
Time is not
on his side.
(Scoffs)
Freelancer.
Heat-beam eye-blast.
Hak foo: Ow.
Save Jade!
Both: Bwaaaaaah!
Aaaaaaaaah!
Whoa!
Aaah!
Unh!
Huh. Oh.
(Panting)
Whoo-eee.
I will just go fetch
the pig talisman
while I am up.
Uncle
Explain.
Jackie, thank you
for allowing me
to re-experience
my youth.
But being young
is too dangerous
and exhausting!
Uncle needs a nap.
You earned it,
uncle.
See, Jade?
As tohru demonstrated,
one cannot turn back
the hands of time.
Jade: Hey, Jackie?
Yes.
Do you know how to cook?
Yes.
I know how to cook an egg
and also a lot of fruits
and water and juice
andNoodles.
Anything quick.
Scrambled eggs,
sunny-side up,
and I can cook toast.
And all kind of eggs.
Actually I am a terrible cook
but I love to eat.
If you ask me that's
my answer.