Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s01e12 Episode Script
The Tiger and the Pussycat
1
(People murmuring)
The tiger talisman
is inside
one of these pies.
Pfft. Piece of cake--
er, pie.
We just join the contest
and eat till we find it.
And the beauty is,
Mr. green jeans
is our only competition.
(Footsteps approach)
Uh
Was.
(Evil laugh)
Maybe tohru
didn't leave room for desert?
(Tweeet)
(Slurping)
(Crunch)
Somethin' crunchy
in my pie.
Thank you!
Ahhh!
Gimmie that ta--
he was gonna
say "pie," right?
Wha--?!
Grrr.
Huh?
47 pies!
A new record!
After 9 centuries,
all 12 talismans
have been recovered,
yet I possess only 2,
while Jackie chan has 10!
You have failed me,
valmont!
Now, shendu,
just because chan's
locked them away
in section 13
doesn't mean
we won't find them.
The new year approaches!
It is essential that I have
all 12 talismans before then
if you ever wish to lay eyes
upon the treasure
of o'in shi'huang.
Tohru!
Bring me Jackie chan.
He will surrender
the location of section 13,
with proper prodding.
(Buzz buzz)
Chinese new year rocks!
Especially the sweets.
Jackie: Jade.
2 more days
till new years.
Aww.
Hot cha!
Jackie, the tiger talisman
possess the power of balance.
Cool!
So, whoever has it
can't lose their--
whoa!
The kind of balance
your parents in Hong Kong
sent you here to learn.
Within each and every one
of us lies conflicting forces:
Yin and Yang,
light and dark,
good and evil.
Like Jackie
àhas a dark side.
I do.
Her name is Jade.
Ba-dum-pum-tch!
Balance?! That's not
even a real power.
Good. I will enjoy taking
this powerless talisman
to section 13,
so we can put this quest
to rest.
While Jade
will enjoy making tea
for her dear old uncle.
Rrr.
Huh?
Cracked?
How did?
(Crunch)
Ahh.
Whaa?!
Whoa!
Whew. Mirror.
Oh! Where's
the other half?
(Crunch)
(Crying) Uncle!
What is it?
I stepped on a bug!
(Crying)
Tea is ready,
dear uncle.
(Gasps)
Mmm. Good.
Jackie!!
That's my candy!
Not any more.
Got milk?
What happened
to Jackie?
He is such
a crybaby!
He's such
a jerk!
He is in the library
weeping all over my research!
No, he's in the kitchen,
raiding the fridge.
Jackie?
Jackie?
Whaa!
Whaa!
(Braaaack)
Whaa!
Whaa!
Hmm
When the talisman broke,
Jackie's yin was separated
from his Yang.
Whoa.
Jackie-lite
and Jackie-dark.
I am the dark side.
I murdered a bug!
You're the side
who ate my candy?
You're evil!
Eviiiil!!!
Not evil.
Just lacking
sound judgement
without his good side
to guide him.
So, each of you
has half of the talisman?
Good.
You must
join them together
to reunite
into one Jackie.
Me and wimpy?!
Oh, please, no!
He burps out loud
without saying "excuse me"!
You must restore balance!
But--ow!
But--ow!!
Ow!
Oo, you will
pay for that!
Ow!
Oh!
UhJackies?
(Growls)
(Whimpers)
The dark hand.
Hide the talisman!
What are we
gonna do?
Laugh like circus clowns
while they scream for mercy.
Run!!
Guess we'll never know
if 2 jackies
are better than--whoa!
This is no place
for children!
Chan, you're coming with--
oh!
Hey. You didn't even
let him finish.
(Crack)
(Crack)
Ahh!
Whoa!
Fighting is not nice.
Get him!
Jackie-lite
is still packin'
Jackie moves,
but I bet he's gonna
need some "Jade dark"
to balance him out.
Men: Ow! Ugh! Ow!
Seem like chan's
in a particularly
bad mood today?
You mean the psycho?
He copped my jacket!
Oh, who cares?
Look what I copped.
Hey!
Grrr.
Run!
Totally run!
Uncle: Hiyeee! Hyah! Hyah!
Grrrr.
Ahhh!
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Huh. He'll never
catch us.
Weren't we supposed
to catch him?
Shut up.
(Imitates guitar playing)
It's him!
Ahh!
Here. Take it.
What, and spoil my fun?
This better be good.
Ahhhhhhh!
Ahh!
(Gasps)
Chinese new year rocks!
Half a talisman?
It's a start, I suppose.
Now tell me the location
of section 13 or--
(vidphone rings)
What is it?
We got chan.
Valmont: I know.
He's right here.
He is?
No, he's not.
He's right here.
Oh, hello.
How are you?
The tiger talisman
is the glue
that binds
the conflicting powers
of all the other talismans
into one unified whole.
If it was divided by chan,
it is likely
that chan himself is divided
into light and dark.
So, which chan
do we have?
And when the fish
hit the road,
you guys all went,
"bwaaa!"
(Laughing)
Ya know, chan,
you're all right.
Yeah. Too bad
we gotta eliminate you.
Eliminate me?
(Door opens)
Shh, shh.
It's big "v."
Valmont: Perhaps
there is another option.
Bring me the talismans
from section 13,
and I will make you rich.
Works for me.
Get in there.
Are those seats
real leather?
Oh, those poor cows!
(Jackie sobbing)
(Gunfire)
Section 13!
They're shootin'!
Get down!
(Fireworks popping)
Jade, this is terrible!
I know, I know. I shouldn't
be playing with fireworks.
Yes, that's very true.
But even worse,
those bad men
captured my other half!
We need
section 13's help,
but if captain black
sees you,
he's never gonna believe
there's another you
who needs rescuing.
So you have to wait
here, capiche?
Uh-huh.
Good.
Now, hand me your half
of the talisman
so I can put it
in the vault for
safekeeping.
Captain black!
The dark hand
captured Jackie!
What?! We've got to--
you almost had me, scamp.
(Humming)
But I'm serious!
He's in trouble!
Now, now, Jade.
I just saw Jackie.
Look, there he goes again.
Heh heh.
You totally blew it!
I told you
to wait outside!
Cool jacket.
Get your mitts off it.
Grrr.
Why are you being such a
Jerk?
Brother!
You're ok!
Oh, are you
going fishing?
Went.
Talisman fishing.
Oh! You're a bad boy.
And you're ugly!
Now, where's the other half
of the tiger?
Oh, that tickles!
Ugh!
Aah!
Ugh.
Ok, meanie!
What are you--
was I mean to you?
Oh, I'm sorry!
What are you
àdoing down here?
I told you
to wait outside.
The bad me
- stole the talismans.
Most of them, anyway.
You gotta stop him!
I tried scolding him,
but--
I mean "stop" him!
You know
Hyah! Aiyyee! Hyah!
Hyah! Aiyyee! Hyah!
Oh! Oh, no, no,
no, no, no.
Fighting
is not nice.
Rrr.
Wait!
You can't do this!
If the dark hand
gets all the talismans,
then something
really, really bad
is gonna happen!
So?
But you're not evil,
remember?
Uncle said everyone
has yin and Yang.
You can't be all Yang.
Yang-dang-doodle.
Doobie-doobie-doo.
Jackie.
(Jade growls)
Hyah!
I liked these.
Oopsie?
Hyaaah!
Hyaaah!
Ah, ah, ah.
It's not nice to drop-kick
little girls.
See? If he has
a fighting side,
then you've gotta have
a, er, nice guy side.
Once I give these
to valmont,
I'll have
a rich guy side.
Give me that,
you little gnat!
Ah, ah, ah! Name-calling
is not nice, either.
Jackie-lite may need
a little magic back-up.
(Straining)
Come on! Come on!
Ooh, let's get you
an icepack for that.
(Vidphone rings)
Any sign of chan?
No.
Then get off
your tremendous behind!
I want those talismans!
Yes, master.
(Straining)
(Pants)
Ow! Ooh!
Ow! Ooh!
Smarts.
I like the burn.
Ahh!
Hyah!
Oh, I got you all dirty.
(Strains)
Yes!
These are not
the talismans!
Let me go!
Help!
Jackie!
Jade!
Too bad.
I kinda liked her.
She's scrappy.
Oh! She's family!
We have to save her!
We do?
You'll get to fight
more bad guys.
89
10 and 11.
Yes. I can feel
my power returning.
The statue talked?
You guys are working
for a statue?
Quiet!!
11 1/2.
What?
Valmont and shendu:
Where is the other half?!
(Whistles casually)
It's always tohru's fault.
Everyone blames tohru.
Huh?!
So, which one's
on our side again?
Jackie-dark:
Black's not my color.
(Elevator music plays)
(Crack)
(Crack)
Come on down.
Can't we get along?
(Straining)
No! Stop, please!
Stop! (Laughs)
I said "please."
The chans
are in the building.
They do not possess
the missing half.
Well, it must be--
somewhere.
Hey, you have pretty decent
chops for such a big baby.
Oh, I owe it all
to teamwork.
Don't touch me.
Jade: Jackie!
Stop him!
He has all 12!
Stop!
Stop!
Hy--!
Hy!!
Game over, chan.
Way over.
I live!!!
Rrrrrrrrr.
Jade: Hey, Jackie?
Yes?
What's your favorite
junk food?
My favorite junk food?
My favorite
junk food
Ice cream
yum yummy.
I love ice cream.
Chocolate,
vanilla,
strawberry.
That's all. Mostly
I like ice cream,
but after I ate
ice cream today--
chocolate--
more punching,
more kicking.
Ow!
Let's go to eat
some ice cream.
(People murmuring)
The tiger talisman
is inside
one of these pies.
Pfft. Piece of cake--
er, pie.
We just join the contest
and eat till we find it.
And the beauty is,
Mr. green jeans
is our only competition.
(Footsteps approach)
Uh
Was.
(Evil laugh)
Maybe tohru
didn't leave room for desert?
(Tweeet)
(Slurping)
(Crunch)
Somethin' crunchy
in my pie.
Thank you!
Ahhh!
Gimmie that ta--
he was gonna
say "pie," right?
Wha--?!
Grrr.
Huh?
47 pies!
A new record!
After 9 centuries,
all 12 talismans
have been recovered,
yet I possess only 2,
while Jackie chan has 10!
You have failed me,
valmont!
Now, shendu,
just because chan's
locked them away
in section 13
doesn't mean
we won't find them.
The new year approaches!
It is essential that I have
all 12 talismans before then
if you ever wish to lay eyes
upon the treasure
of o'in shi'huang.
Tohru!
Bring me Jackie chan.
He will surrender
the location of section 13,
with proper prodding.
(Buzz buzz)
Chinese new year rocks!
Especially the sweets.
Jackie: Jade.
2 more days
till new years.
Aww.
Hot cha!
Jackie, the tiger talisman
possess the power of balance.
Cool!
So, whoever has it
can't lose their--
whoa!
The kind of balance
your parents in Hong Kong
sent you here to learn.
Within each and every one
of us lies conflicting forces:
Yin and Yang,
light and dark,
good and evil.
Like Jackie
àhas a dark side.
I do.
Her name is Jade.
Ba-dum-pum-tch!
Balance?! That's not
even a real power.
Good. I will enjoy taking
this powerless talisman
to section 13,
so we can put this quest
to rest.
While Jade
will enjoy making tea
for her dear old uncle.
Rrr.
Huh?
Cracked?
How did?
(Crunch)
Ahh.
Whaa?!
Whoa!
Whew. Mirror.
Oh! Where's
the other half?
(Crunch)
(Crying) Uncle!
What is it?
I stepped on a bug!
(Crying)
Tea is ready,
dear uncle.
(Gasps)
Mmm. Good.
Jackie!!
That's my candy!
Not any more.
Got milk?
What happened
to Jackie?
He is such
a crybaby!
He's such
a jerk!
He is in the library
weeping all over my research!
No, he's in the kitchen,
raiding the fridge.
Jackie?
Jackie?
Whaa!
Whaa!
(Braaaack)
Whaa!
Whaa!
Hmm
When the talisman broke,
Jackie's yin was separated
from his Yang.
Whoa.
Jackie-lite
and Jackie-dark.
I am the dark side.
I murdered a bug!
You're the side
who ate my candy?
You're evil!
Eviiiil!!!
Not evil.
Just lacking
sound judgement
without his good side
to guide him.
So, each of you
has half of the talisman?
Good.
You must
join them together
to reunite
into one Jackie.
Me and wimpy?!
Oh, please, no!
He burps out loud
without saying "excuse me"!
You must restore balance!
But--ow!
But--ow!!
Ow!
Oo, you will
pay for that!
Ow!
Oh!
UhJackies?
(Growls)
(Whimpers)
The dark hand.
Hide the talisman!
What are we
gonna do?
Laugh like circus clowns
while they scream for mercy.
Run!!
Guess we'll never know
if 2 jackies
are better than--whoa!
This is no place
for children!
Chan, you're coming with--
oh!
Hey. You didn't even
let him finish.
(Crack)
(Crack)
Ahh!
Whoa!
Fighting is not nice.
Get him!
Jackie-lite
is still packin'
Jackie moves,
but I bet he's gonna
need some "Jade dark"
to balance him out.
Men: Ow! Ugh! Ow!
Seem like chan's
in a particularly
bad mood today?
You mean the psycho?
He copped my jacket!
Oh, who cares?
Look what I copped.
Hey!
Grrr.
Run!
Totally run!
Uncle: Hiyeee! Hyah! Hyah!
Grrrr.
Ahhh!
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Huh. He'll never
catch us.
Weren't we supposed
to catch him?
Shut up.
(Imitates guitar playing)
It's him!
Ahh!
Here. Take it.
What, and spoil my fun?
This better be good.
Ahhhhhhh!
Ahh!
(Gasps)
Chinese new year rocks!
Half a talisman?
It's a start, I suppose.
Now tell me the location
of section 13 or--
(vidphone rings)
What is it?
We got chan.
Valmont: I know.
He's right here.
He is?
No, he's not.
He's right here.
Oh, hello.
How are you?
The tiger talisman
is the glue
that binds
the conflicting powers
of all the other talismans
into one unified whole.
If it was divided by chan,
it is likely
that chan himself is divided
into light and dark.
So, which chan
do we have?
And when the fish
hit the road,
you guys all went,
"bwaaa!"
(Laughing)
Ya know, chan,
you're all right.
Yeah. Too bad
we gotta eliminate you.
Eliminate me?
(Door opens)
Shh, shh.
It's big "v."
Valmont: Perhaps
there is another option.
Bring me the talismans
from section 13,
and I will make you rich.
Works for me.
Get in there.
Are those seats
real leather?
Oh, those poor cows!
(Jackie sobbing)
(Gunfire)
Section 13!
They're shootin'!
Get down!
(Fireworks popping)
Jade, this is terrible!
I know, I know. I shouldn't
be playing with fireworks.
Yes, that's very true.
But even worse,
those bad men
captured my other half!
We need
section 13's help,
but if captain black
sees you,
he's never gonna believe
there's another you
who needs rescuing.
So you have to wait
here, capiche?
Uh-huh.
Good.
Now, hand me your half
of the talisman
so I can put it
in the vault for
safekeeping.
Captain black!
The dark hand
captured Jackie!
What?! We've got to--
you almost had me, scamp.
(Humming)
But I'm serious!
He's in trouble!
Now, now, Jade.
I just saw Jackie.
Look, there he goes again.
Heh heh.
You totally blew it!
I told you
to wait outside!
Cool jacket.
Get your mitts off it.
Grrr.
Why are you being such a
Jerk?
Brother!
You're ok!
Oh, are you
going fishing?
Went.
Talisman fishing.
Oh! You're a bad boy.
And you're ugly!
Now, where's the other half
of the tiger?
Oh, that tickles!
Ugh!
Aah!
Ugh.
Ok, meanie!
What are you--
was I mean to you?
Oh, I'm sorry!
What are you
àdoing down here?
I told you
to wait outside.
The bad me
- stole the talismans.
Most of them, anyway.
You gotta stop him!
I tried scolding him,
but--
I mean "stop" him!
You know
Hyah! Aiyyee! Hyah!
Hyah! Aiyyee! Hyah!
Oh! Oh, no, no,
no, no, no.
Fighting
is not nice.
Rrr.
Wait!
You can't do this!
If the dark hand
gets all the talismans,
then something
really, really bad
is gonna happen!
So?
But you're not evil,
remember?
Uncle said everyone
has yin and Yang.
You can't be all Yang.
Yang-dang-doodle.
Doobie-doobie-doo.
Jackie.
(Jade growls)
Hyah!
I liked these.
Oopsie?
Hyaaah!
Hyaaah!
Ah, ah, ah.
It's not nice to drop-kick
little girls.
See? If he has
a fighting side,
then you've gotta have
a, er, nice guy side.
Once I give these
to valmont,
I'll have
a rich guy side.
Give me that,
you little gnat!
Ah, ah, ah! Name-calling
is not nice, either.
Jackie-lite may need
a little magic back-up.
(Straining)
Come on! Come on!
Ooh, let's get you
an icepack for that.
(Vidphone rings)
Any sign of chan?
No.
Then get off
your tremendous behind!
I want those talismans!
Yes, master.
(Straining)
(Pants)
Ow! Ooh!
Ow! Ooh!
Smarts.
I like the burn.
Ahh!
Hyah!
Oh, I got you all dirty.
(Strains)
Yes!
These are not
the talismans!
Let me go!
Help!
Jackie!
Jade!
Too bad.
I kinda liked her.
She's scrappy.
Oh! She's family!
We have to save her!
We do?
You'll get to fight
more bad guys.
89
10 and 11.
Yes. I can feel
my power returning.
The statue talked?
You guys are working
for a statue?
Quiet!!
11 1/2.
What?
Valmont and shendu:
Where is the other half?!
(Whistles casually)
It's always tohru's fault.
Everyone blames tohru.
Huh?!
So, which one's
on our side again?
Jackie-dark:
Black's not my color.
(Elevator music plays)
(Crack)
(Crack)
Come on down.
Can't we get along?
(Straining)
No! Stop, please!
Stop! (Laughs)
I said "please."
The chans
are in the building.
They do not possess
the missing half.
Well, it must be--
somewhere.
Hey, you have pretty decent
chops for such a big baby.
Oh, I owe it all
to teamwork.
Don't touch me.
Jade: Jackie!
Stop him!
He has all 12!
Stop!
Stop!
Hy--!
Hy!!
Game over, chan.
Way over.
I live!!!
Rrrrrrrrr.
Jade: Hey, Jackie?
Yes?
What's your favorite
junk food?
My favorite junk food?
My favorite
junk food
Ice cream
yum yummy.
I love ice cream.
Chocolate,
vanilla,
strawberry.
That's all. Mostly
I like ice cream,
but after I ate
ice cream today--
chocolate--
more punching,
more kicking.
Ow!
Let's go to eat
some ice cream.