Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e14 Episode Script
Part-Time Genius
1
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Narrator] Leave It To Beaver
starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
(happy orchestral music)
You know, it's only natural
for parents to feel proud of their children
and there's nothing so fascinating as your own offspring.
But when another parent raves about his children,
it's amazing how you can lose interest
and that's the way our story begins tonight on.
Leave It To Beaver.
(alarming orchestral music)
Mom!
What is it now, Wally?
When are we gonna eat?
The Beaver and me are getting hungry.
Wally, the Beaver and I are getting hungry.
Yeah, I guess we're all getting hungry.
(audience laughing)
We're waiting for your father.
I don't know what's holding him up.
He was gonna drop Mister Cornelius off in the office
and ride home.
We'll eat as soon as he gets here.
Mmkay, I sure hope I can hold out.
(audience laughing)
(happy orchestral music)
(crickets chirping)
'Course I haven't told you about my oldest boy, have I?
Not today.
(audience laughing)
Oh Willis,
isn't that your wife looking out the window there?
No, no, no, that's the rubber plant in the kitchen.
There's no hurry.
Well, of course, with Willis Junior, his teacher says
there is no limit to how far he can go.
But, of course, your boy Wally's in the same class.
You probably heard all about it.
The other boys always look up to a leader.
Yes, I guess they do.
Yeah well Willis, I don't want to keep you.
Oh that's all right, that's all right.
Your boy's worried about the test tomorrow?
Test?
Yes, the whole school is taking it.
Don't tell me your lads haven't even mentioned it to you.
Oh, oh yes, of course, the test.
Yes certainly.
Yeah well, I'll see you in the morning then Willis.
Of course, you're picking me up.
Now you take last year,
my two boys came in first and second,
then of course, there's the girl.
Now there's where the family traits really come out.
I remember my grandfather, that's on my mother's side,
of course.
(audience laughing)
[Mother] Beaver, anything happen in school today?
Angela Valentine said she was gonna get sick in class.
Well, what happened?
She did.
(audience laughing)
Well Wally, anything happen in your class today?
Nothing that good.
(audience laughing)
Well is anything special going to happen
at school tomorrow?
I don't know.
I don't know either Dad.
Anything special like,
like a test?
Yeah, somebody said something about a test.
I think they're giving it to the whole school.
Ahh well, are you boys prepared?
I guess so.
Could I have another cookie Mom?
(audience laughing)
How 'bout you Beaver?
You prepared?
Prepared for what?
For the test!
Guess so.
Can I be excused?
(audience laughing)
Certainly.
Thanks for a nice supper Mom.
Thank you.
Thanks for the nice cookies Mom.
Well, there they go!
Test coming up tomorrow, they're completely unconcerned.
I'll be you right now, Corny Cornelius' kids
are home studying like mad.
Oh Ward, you're just upset because Willis hurt your ego.
Well he's stepped on it a little bit, I'll admit.
But you know, he got me started thinking too.
Now look, our kids make good grades
but there's no reason why they shouldn't make
great grades.
Well when I was in school I,
I played football, I managed to hold down a job
and still come up with good enough grades
to get a scholarship.
Ward, we all can't be A students.
Maybe the boys are more like me.
Oh, of course they're not.
(audience laughing)
Well, what I mean dear is they've got to
learn to apply themselves.
And I'm going to go up there tonight
and see that they buckle down to work.
Oh Ward, don't you think you ought to let them
study by themselves?
You upset them so when you try to help them.
Dear I've learned patience.
(audience laughing)
Believe me, I've learned patience.
Hey Wally are we really gonna have a test tomorrow?
Yeah, I think they're giving it to everybody in school.
How come you're not studying?
They didn't give us any homework.
It's not the kind of test you study for.
It's a test in intelligence.
I guess they don't teach intelligence in the second grade.
(audience laughing)
Intelligence isn't a subject, Beaver.
They don't ask you arithmetic and history.
They ask you stuff like.
"Which is longer, six foot string or a six foot board?"
Oh.
Why would they ask you silly questions like that?
I don't know.
I think it's to soften you up for the harder ones.
(audience laughing)
Hi Dad.
Hi!
(clapping hands together)
Well boys, I thought before you went to bed tonight,
we can sorta prepare for this test together.
Are you going to take it too Dad?
(audience and Ward laughing)
You know what I mean Beaver.
No, I just thought if we all sort of pull together
on this thing, that we could maybe make a little progress.
Your old Dad used to be pretty good with the books,
you know?
Now let's see Beaver.
You made pretty good grades in everything but arithmetic.
Suppose we start with you.
But Dad!
Ah, never mind Wally.
I'll get to you in a minute, don't you worry.
Yes Dad.
Come on Beaver.
(audience laughing)
Ah see now,
as I recall, we had a little trouble
with our multiplication tables, didn't we?
So why don't we run over them first, okay boy?
Okay Dad.
Okay,
two times two.
Four.
Three times two.
Six.
Four times two.
Eight.
That's fine Beaver, fine.
Now then, four times four.
(audience and Ward laughing)
I guess I kinda threw you a curve there, didn't I?
No, four times four is 16, Beaver.
16?
Yeah now remember that.
Fix it in your mind.
(audience laughing)
Okay, here we go again.
Two times two.
Four.
Three times two.
Six.
Four times three.
(audience and Wally laughing)
All right Wally.
Sorry Dad.
I just thought of something funny that happened in school.
(audience laughing)
Now come on Beaver.
You know that four times three is 12, don't you?
Yes sir.
Then why did you say 16?
I thought you'd get mad at me.
Wally have I got mad at him?
Have I yelled at him?
Not yet Dad.
(audience laughing)
Beaver, I just don't know what you're gonna do tomorrow
when they ask you what four times four is
and you don't know.
They won't ask any arithmetic.
Wally says it's a 'telligence test.
That's right Dad.
It's one of those IQ tests.
They told us not to study.
They don't want a lotta junk in our minds.
(audience laughing)
Ohh, I see, an IQ test.
Hey Beaver, I hope I didn't upset ya.
That's okay.
Yeah well,
well if there's nothing to study I guess that's that.
Just do the best you can
and don't get upset or don't worry about it.
Well, get a good night's sleep.
Dad.
Yeah.
Four times four is sixteen.
(happy orchestral music)
Thank you Beaver.
Children, while it's true this is a test,
this isn't the kind of a test that's going to affect
your marks.
So since you all have your test papers in front of you
I want you to print your name in the upper left hand corner
of the page.
Miss Canfield.
Yes Whitey.
Should we print printing or print writing?
(audience laughing)
Well I think this time we'll just print printing.
(audience laughing)
Now, you have exactly 15 minutes
on the first part of the test.
But if you come to a question you can't answer
don't labor over it, go right on to the next one.
All right are we all ready class?
[Students] Yes Miss Canfield.
Then go.
(nervous orchestral music)
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
All right, time's up.
(Beaver exhaling)
Pass your papers to the front.
Now that wasn't so bad, was it?
[Students] No Miss Canfield.
Charles, would you collect all the papers
and take them to Mrs. Raybyurn's office?
Yes Miss Canfield.
Charles is a new boy Miss Canfield.
He doesn't know where the principal's office is.
I know where it is Miss Canfield.
I'm sure you do Charles.
(school bell ringing)
All right, class dismissed.
Beaver.
What?
Remember number 12, did you pick the apple
or the orange for the right answer?
I picked the apple.
Yeah?
How come?
I like apples better.
(audience laughing)
Oh, what did you pick Whitey?
I didn't get to that question.
I got stuck on the one with the pictures of six houses.
One of them didn't have any chimney.
It wasn't supposed to, that was the problem.
Oh, I guess I shouldn't have drawed one in.
(audience laughing)
Isn't that funny Beaver?
Uhuh, I drawed one in too.
(audience laughing)
(alarming orchestral music)
Hello, yes speaking.
Oh, how are you?
Yeah, the Beaver?
He did?
Well certainly, yeah we'll be very glad to, yeah, yeah.
Well thank you very much.
(Ward laughing)
Hey June!
Hey June, come in here a minute!
(Ward laughing)
What's all the excitement?
I'm breading cutlets.
What are cutlets at a time like this?
That was Mrs. Rayburn, you know what the Beaver's done?
Little rascal just made the highest mark
in the intelligence test in the whole school!
Our Beaver?
Our Beaver!
Not only that, he made the second highest mark
in the entire history of the test.
That little son of a gun.
He's a real chip off the old block, huh?
Well don't you think you ought to give the Beaver
a little credit?
(audience laughing)
You know he took the test, not you.
Oh honey, there's glory enough in this for all of us.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna call that Corny Cornelius.
This'll stop him cold.
Oh no you don't.
Supper's ready.
Look, I gotta get back to my cutlets.
You go up and tell the genius and his brother
to wash up for dinner, ha?
All right
(audience laughing)
Little son of a gun.
(inspirational orchestral music)
(chirpy orchestral music)
Ward!
Ward, the boys and I are waiting in the car.
We don't want to be late for our appointment
with Mrs. Rayburn.
Yeah, well I just have to let Willis know
I'm not picking up dear.
I'll be right with you.
Oh hello Willis?
Listen fellow, I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to
pick you up this morning.
Feeling a little under the weather hah?
Oh no no.
No I have to go over to school see Mrs. Rayburn.
It's about the intelligence test and Beaver.
It seems he made the highest mark in the school.
Oh for his grade, hah?
For the whole school?
(audience laughing)
Oh, that's wonderful.
Well I better hang up now.
My breakfast is getting cold.
(audience laughing)
What's that?
No I haven't heard how my boys did yet.
Well they probably only notified the top group at first.
You'll be hearing about your boys in a few days.
I wouldn't dream of keeping you
from your breakfast, Willis.
Go right ahead.
Yes, goodbye.
(audience laughing)
Ward, the boys are gonna be late
and couldn't you have been a little more subtle?
Dear you can't be subtle at a time like this
and particularly not with Corny Cornelius.
(happy orchestral music)
Hi kids.
(Judy sighs)
What's the matter?
We heard what you did Beaver.
Yeah you went and got the highest mark
in the intelligence test.
(audience laughing)
What's wrong with that?
Nothing but you were so sneaky about it.
(audience laughing)
Gee, all I did was take the test.
You're a snake Beaver, sittin' in class all the time
pretending you weren't smart.
And all the time you were runnin' around
with that head full of brains.
(audience laughing)
Gee, I'm awfully sorry.
I don't know how it happened.
(school bell ringing)
Come on, we better get to class.
Beat it Beaver.
I gotta get to class too.
Then go by yourself,
we don't wanna hang around with no sneaky genius.
(audience laughing)
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver, we are very proud of Theodore
in this school.
And I'm sure you are too.
Well actually, I wasn't too surprised.
He does have the background for it.
(Ward and audience laughing)
Well to tell you the truth Mr. Cleaver
it came as quite a surprise to me.
Well Beaver's a very nice boy but
I've always considered him an average student.
Well Miss Canfield, your class is large
and this is your first year of teaching
and recognizing this sort of thing
does come with experience.
Yes Mrs. Rayburn.
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver, Theodore's showing
of such remarkable potential presents quite a problem.
A problem?
We're not equipped to handle the exceptional child.
I had a talk with Dr. Wade,
he's the school system psychologist,
and both of us urge you
to place Theodore in a special school.
Change schools?
But he's been so happy here and he has his friends
and he's particularly fond of Miss Canfield here.
I'm very fond of Beaver too.
Dr. Wade gave me these pamphlets
on some excellent schools.
I do hope you consider one of these for Theodore
and I thank you for coming down and
I hope you make the right decision.
Yes well, thank you.
(nervous orchestral music)
Thank you, goodbye.
Hey Beaver, are they really gonna send you
one of these schools?
I guess so, they're taking me out to one of 'em tomorrow
to get reviewed.
(audience laughing)
Interviewed.
Interviewed.
Wally, if I've gotta go I like this one best.
It's the only one that got swings in the yard.
(audience laughing)
Yeah I noticed the kids were giving you a rough time
at recess today.
Yeah, why'd you do that just because I got a good mark?
Whitey gets good marks.
Yeah but you never have before.
I guess they're kinda jealous, they think you made 'em
look bad on purpose.
(audience laughing)
Wally, I'm gonna miss the kids at school.
Even that creepy Judy.
(audience laughing)
Guess I'm gonna miss you too Wally.
Don't worry Beave,
I'll come up and see you on visiting days,
just like they do at the penitentiary.
(audience laughing)
(sad orchestral music)
Good morning.
Good morning.
I'm Dr. Compton.
How do you do?
I'm Mr. Cleaver.
Dr. Wade called and told me you were coming.
I imagine this is the young man.
What's your name my boy?
Beaver.
Beaver?
Well his name's actually Theodore
but the boys started calling him Beaver because it's,
sort of a nickname.
Well Beaver,
suppose we all sit down and have a talk hmm?
Dr. Compton don't you think we ought to let.
Beaver play outside while we talk this over?
Oh no, no, no, no.
That's one of my theories.
Too many educators treat the gifted child
as if he were suffering from some sort of affliction.
You don't mind if we talk in front of you
do you young man?
No, Mom and Dad do that at home
except they spell out the bad words.
(audience laughing)
This young fella's got quite a sense of humor.
Yeah.
(Beaver laughing)
Well Beaver this is for you and
you and your wife sit over there.
Thank you.
Well after your tour around what do you think
of our school?
We think it's very nice.
And you got an old baseball field?
No, no, we have an excellent gymnasium
and a fine swimming pool.
You see Mr. Cleaver
we don't go in for competitive sports here.
We feel that it arouses the natural antagonisms in a boy
and, besides, it's very distracting emotionally.
Oh oh, well I've played football myself.
I'd always thought that the team play
sort of prepared one for life.
I'm sure it's fine for the average child
but we just can't have it with our boys.
Being smart is a lot more complicated
than when I was a boy.
It certainly is Mr. Cleaver.
I've been looking over Dr. Wayde's letter.
Yes the boy made a fine showing.
It's an excellent test too.
Wonderful way of putting a ruler to a boy's brain.
(audience laughing)
We're very proud that Beaver did so well in his test.
We're just trying to make up our minds what to do.
I imagine Theodore's marks have made up your mind for you.
You don't want to jeopardize his future.
Well it's certainly what we're concerned with.
By the way,
have you given any thought to your vocation in life?
Huh?
Dr. Compton wants to know what you'd like to be
when you grow up.
Yes, would you think of being a lawyer or a scientist?
Perhaps a doctor.
I don't think so.
Doctors have to wash their hands all the time.
Besides that they smell funny.
(audience laughing)
I'm sure an intelligent fellow like you has ambitions.
What would you like to be in life?
Well I thought maybe a garbage collector.
(audience laughing)
A garbage collector, now why a garbage collector?
Well you don't have to wash your hands all the time
and nobody cares how you smell.
(audience laughing)
That's an original way of looking at it.
There seems to be some diffusion of thoughts here
but I'm sure we can remedy that.
Our main concern is taking him away from his friends
and the school where he's been so happy.
Oh I know the young man's going to like it here,
aren't ya son?
Guess so, sure wish you had a baseball field though.
(alarming orchestral music)
Hi Wally.
Hi Beave.
Hey how'd you like the new school?
Did they interview ya?
Yeah, but Wally, it doesn't look like a school at all.
It looks like the building where we go to the dentist.
Well did you get to see any of the kids?
Yeah, but I didn't get to talk to any of 'em.
They took us in a room where I looked at a bunch of 'em
through a glass window.
Well maybe they were afraid you'd get germs on 'em
or somethin'.
You know Wally,
I don't think I'm gonna like it, being a genius.
(doorbell ringing)
Well Miss Canfield, come on in.
Thank you.
Mrs. Cleaver, I hope I'm not disturbing you
but I would like to talk to you and your husband
about something important.
Well come on in.
Hello Miss Canfield!
Glad you caught us in.
We've been looking over schools for the Beaver.
Yes well that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
This is Charles Fredericks, he's a new boy in my class.
How do you do Charles?
How do you do Mr. Cleaver?
I'm sorry about what I did.
Huh?
Charles came to me this afternoon
with a rather startling confession.
You see I gave him the test papers
to take to Mrs. Rayburn's office.
Well it seems that he switched the papers
and he put his name on Beaver's test.
You mean the Beaver didn't get the high mark?
No, I'm afraid he didn't.
Oh I know this must be upsetting to both of you.
Well I,
I must say it comes as something of a shock.
Charles, why would you do a thing like that?
Well at the school I came from
I always got the best marks in the class
and the kids were always pickin' on me.
Why did they pick on you?
I guess 'cause my parents were always comin' to the school
and makin' a fuss about it.
Ohh.
I hope you can forgive Charles.
His parents almost made him afraid of being smart.
I can see how that could happen.
Yeah,
but I'm curious Charles.
Why did you pick on the Beaver to change papers with?
Well everybody likes him.
I thought if I used his paper, they'd like me too.
I see.
Well now look, why don't you just go upstairs
and play with the Beaver for a while?
Gee could I?
- Sure you can.
- Thanks.
Please Mr. Cleaver, don't say anything huh?
Okay Charlie.
Well Miss Canfield, I suppose it may sound silly
but the only feeling I have right now is one of relief.
You know, I just think it's wonderful
that there are bright boys like Charles
but somehow I'd rather have the Beaver just the way he is.
D'you know Mrs. Cleaver, so would I.
(peaceful orchestral music)
(chirpy orchestral music)
You know Wally, the test papers were switched.
I didn't get that high mark at all.
I figured all the time there was somethin' funny about it.
(audience laughing)
Wally, Dad says I'm not supposed to tell anyone,
but if I don't tell anyone how are the kids
supposed to know I'm not a genius.
Why don't you just tell 'em what four times four are?
That ought to do it.
Sure, 12!
(audience laughing)
Well it's been quite a day
but it looks like we're back to normal.
Why so pensive?
You know June, I think I've learned something
from all this.
To take our kids as they are.
Not wish they were something else or
try to make 'em like ourselves, it doesn't work.
You know, maybe it's just as well that it doesn't.
Yeah. (Phone ringing)
Hello,
oh hi Willis.
Pick you up tomorrow?
Sure.
Thanks Ward, see Dorothea wouldn't let me have the car
the other day and it cost me two 60 in taxi fair.
Oh, by the way, about those intelligence tests.
I don't put too much stock in them,
I mean my boys finished in the bottom half of the school
for the first time.
Can't get over your boy finishing first.
Well we had a talk with Miss Canfield.
And we're not gonna make a big thing out of the Beaver's
standing in the test.
You know, in our family we sort of
take things like in stride.
Well no of course I won't forget to pick you up Willis.
Yes, yes, I know two 60's a lot of money.
All right, bye.
Ward, why didn't you tell Willis that that high mark
was a mistake?
I couldn't have done that June.
You heard me promise Miss Canfield
not to breathe it to a soul.
(joyful orchestral music)
(triumphant trumpet music)
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Narrator] Leave It To Beaver
starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
(happy orchestral music)
You know, it's only natural
for parents to feel proud of their children
and there's nothing so fascinating as your own offspring.
But when another parent raves about his children,
it's amazing how you can lose interest
and that's the way our story begins tonight on.
Leave It To Beaver.
(alarming orchestral music)
Mom!
What is it now, Wally?
When are we gonna eat?
The Beaver and me are getting hungry.
Wally, the Beaver and I are getting hungry.
Yeah, I guess we're all getting hungry.
(audience laughing)
We're waiting for your father.
I don't know what's holding him up.
He was gonna drop Mister Cornelius off in the office
and ride home.
We'll eat as soon as he gets here.
Mmkay, I sure hope I can hold out.
(audience laughing)
(happy orchestral music)
(crickets chirping)
'Course I haven't told you about my oldest boy, have I?
Not today.
(audience laughing)
Oh Willis,
isn't that your wife looking out the window there?
No, no, no, that's the rubber plant in the kitchen.
There's no hurry.
Well, of course, with Willis Junior, his teacher says
there is no limit to how far he can go.
But, of course, your boy Wally's in the same class.
You probably heard all about it.
The other boys always look up to a leader.
Yes, I guess they do.
Yeah well Willis, I don't want to keep you.
Oh that's all right, that's all right.
Your boy's worried about the test tomorrow?
Test?
Yes, the whole school is taking it.
Don't tell me your lads haven't even mentioned it to you.
Oh, oh yes, of course, the test.
Yes certainly.
Yeah well, I'll see you in the morning then Willis.
Of course, you're picking me up.
Now you take last year,
my two boys came in first and second,
then of course, there's the girl.
Now there's where the family traits really come out.
I remember my grandfather, that's on my mother's side,
of course.
(audience laughing)
[Mother] Beaver, anything happen in school today?
Angela Valentine said she was gonna get sick in class.
Well, what happened?
She did.
(audience laughing)
Well Wally, anything happen in your class today?
Nothing that good.
(audience laughing)
Well is anything special going to happen
at school tomorrow?
I don't know.
I don't know either Dad.
Anything special like,
like a test?
Yeah, somebody said something about a test.
I think they're giving it to the whole school.
Ahh well, are you boys prepared?
I guess so.
Could I have another cookie Mom?
(audience laughing)
How 'bout you Beaver?
You prepared?
Prepared for what?
For the test!
Guess so.
Can I be excused?
(audience laughing)
Certainly.
Thanks for a nice supper Mom.
Thank you.
Thanks for the nice cookies Mom.
Well, there they go!
Test coming up tomorrow, they're completely unconcerned.
I'll be you right now, Corny Cornelius' kids
are home studying like mad.
Oh Ward, you're just upset because Willis hurt your ego.
Well he's stepped on it a little bit, I'll admit.
But you know, he got me started thinking too.
Now look, our kids make good grades
but there's no reason why they shouldn't make
great grades.
Well when I was in school I,
I played football, I managed to hold down a job
and still come up with good enough grades
to get a scholarship.
Ward, we all can't be A students.
Maybe the boys are more like me.
Oh, of course they're not.
(audience laughing)
Well, what I mean dear is they've got to
learn to apply themselves.
And I'm going to go up there tonight
and see that they buckle down to work.
Oh Ward, don't you think you ought to let them
study by themselves?
You upset them so when you try to help them.
Dear I've learned patience.
(audience laughing)
Believe me, I've learned patience.
Hey Wally are we really gonna have a test tomorrow?
Yeah, I think they're giving it to everybody in school.
How come you're not studying?
They didn't give us any homework.
It's not the kind of test you study for.
It's a test in intelligence.
I guess they don't teach intelligence in the second grade.
(audience laughing)
Intelligence isn't a subject, Beaver.
They don't ask you arithmetic and history.
They ask you stuff like.
"Which is longer, six foot string or a six foot board?"
Oh.
Why would they ask you silly questions like that?
I don't know.
I think it's to soften you up for the harder ones.
(audience laughing)
Hi Dad.
Hi!
(clapping hands together)
Well boys, I thought before you went to bed tonight,
we can sorta prepare for this test together.
Are you going to take it too Dad?
(audience and Ward laughing)
You know what I mean Beaver.
No, I just thought if we all sort of pull together
on this thing, that we could maybe make a little progress.
Your old Dad used to be pretty good with the books,
you know?
Now let's see Beaver.
You made pretty good grades in everything but arithmetic.
Suppose we start with you.
But Dad!
Ah, never mind Wally.
I'll get to you in a minute, don't you worry.
Yes Dad.
Come on Beaver.
(audience laughing)
Ah see now,
as I recall, we had a little trouble
with our multiplication tables, didn't we?
So why don't we run over them first, okay boy?
Okay Dad.
Okay,
two times two.
Four.
Three times two.
Six.
Four times two.
Eight.
That's fine Beaver, fine.
Now then, four times four.
(audience and Ward laughing)
I guess I kinda threw you a curve there, didn't I?
No, four times four is 16, Beaver.
16?
Yeah now remember that.
Fix it in your mind.
(audience laughing)
Okay, here we go again.
Two times two.
Four.
Three times two.
Six.
Four times three.
(audience and Wally laughing)
All right Wally.
Sorry Dad.
I just thought of something funny that happened in school.
(audience laughing)
Now come on Beaver.
You know that four times three is 12, don't you?
Yes sir.
Then why did you say 16?
I thought you'd get mad at me.
Wally have I got mad at him?
Have I yelled at him?
Not yet Dad.
(audience laughing)
Beaver, I just don't know what you're gonna do tomorrow
when they ask you what four times four is
and you don't know.
They won't ask any arithmetic.
Wally says it's a 'telligence test.
That's right Dad.
It's one of those IQ tests.
They told us not to study.
They don't want a lotta junk in our minds.
(audience laughing)
Ohh, I see, an IQ test.
Hey Beaver, I hope I didn't upset ya.
That's okay.
Yeah well,
well if there's nothing to study I guess that's that.
Just do the best you can
and don't get upset or don't worry about it.
Well, get a good night's sleep.
Dad.
Yeah.
Four times four is sixteen.
(happy orchestral music)
Thank you Beaver.
Children, while it's true this is a test,
this isn't the kind of a test that's going to affect
your marks.
So since you all have your test papers in front of you
I want you to print your name in the upper left hand corner
of the page.
Miss Canfield.
Yes Whitey.
Should we print printing or print writing?
(audience laughing)
Well I think this time we'll just print printing.
(audience laughing)
Now, you have exactly 15 minutes
on the first part of the test.
But if you come to a question you can't answer
don't labor over it, go right on to the next one.
All right are we all ready class?
[Students] Yes Miss Canfield.
Then go.
(nervous orchestral music)
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
All right, time's up.
(Beaver exhaling)
Pass your papers to the front.
Now that wasn't so bad, was it?
[Students] No Miss Canfield.
Charles, would you collect all the papers
and take them to Mrs. Raybyurn's office?
Yes Miss Canfield.
Charles is a new boy Miss Canfield.
He doesn't know where the principal's office is.
I know where it is Miss Canfield.
I'm sure you do Charles.
(school bell ringing)
All right, class dismissed.
Beaver.
What?
Remember number 12, did you pick the apple
or the orange for the right answer?
I picked the apple.
Yeah?
How come?
I like apples better.
(audience laughing)
Oh, what did you pick Whitey?
I didn't get to that question.
I got stuck on the one with the pictures of six houses.
One of them didn't have any chimney.
It wasn't supposed to, that was the problem.
Oh, I guess I shouldn't have drawed one in.
(audience laughing)
Isn't that funny Beaver?
Uhuh, I drawed one in too.
(audience laughing)
(alarming orchestral music)
Hello, yes speaking.
Oh, how are you?
Yeah, the Beaver?
He did?
Well certainly, yeah we'll be very glad to, yeah, yeah.
Well thank you very much.
(Ward laughing)
Hey June!
Hey June, come in here a minute!
(Ward laughing)
What's all the excitement?
I'm breading cutlets.
What are cutlets at a time like this?
That was Mrs. Rayburn, you know what the Beaver's done?
Little rascal just made the highest mark
in the intelligence test in the whole school!
Our Beaver?
Our Beaver!
Not only that, he made the second highest mark
in the entire history of the test.
That little son of a gun.
He's a real chip off the old block, huh?
Well don't you think you ought to give the Beaver
a little credit?
(audience laughing)
You know he took the test, not you.
Oh honey, there's glory enough in this for all of us.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna call that Corny Cornelius.
This'll stop him cold.
Oh no you don't.
Supper's ready.
Look, I gotta get back to my cutlets.
You go up and tell the genius and his brother
to wash up for dinner, ha?
All right
(audience laughing)
Little son of a gun.
(inspirational orchestral music)
(chirpy orchestral music)
Ward!
Ward, the boys and I are waiting in the car.
We don't want to be late for our appointment
with Mrs. Rayburn.
Yeah, well I just have to let Willis know
I'm not picking up dear.
I'll be right with you.
Oh hello Willis?
Listen fellow, I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to
pick you up this morning.
Feeling a little under the weather hah?
Oh no no.
No I have to go over to school see Mrs. Rayburn.
It's about the intelligence test and Beaver.
It seems he made the highest mark in the school.
Oh for his grade, hah?
For the whole school?
(audience laughing)
Oh, that's wonderful.
Well I better hang up now.
My breakfast is getting cold.
(audience laughing)
What's that?
No I haven't heard how my boys did yet.
Well they probably only notified the top group at first.
You'll be hearing about your boys in a few days.
I wouldn't dream of keeping you
from your breakfast, Willis.
Go right ahead.
Yes, goodbye.
(audience laughing)
Ward, the boys are gonna be late
and couldn't you have been a little more subtle?
Dear you can't be subtle at a time like this
and particularly not with Corny Cornelius.
(happy orchestral music)
Hi kids.
(Judy sighs)
What's the matter?
We heard what you did Beaver.
Yeah you went and got the highest mark
in the intelligence test.
(audience laughing)
What's wrong with that?
Nothing but you were so sneaky about it.
(audience laughing)
Gee, all I did was take the test.
You're a snake Beaver, sittin' in class all the time
pretending you weren't smart.
And all the time you were runnin' around
with that head full of brains.
(audience laughing)
Gee, I'm awfully sorry.
I don't know how it happened.
(school bell ringing)
Come on, we better get to class.
Beat it Beaver.
I gotta get to class too.
Then go by yourself,
we don't wanna hang around with no sneaky genius.
(audience laughing)
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver, we are very proud of Theodore
in this school.
And I'm sure you are too.
Well actually, I wasn't too surprised.
He does have the background for it.
(Ward and audience laughing)
Well to tell you the truth Mr. Cleaver
it came as quite a surprise to me.
Well Beaver's a very nice boy but
I've always considered him an average student.
Well Miss Canfield, your class is large
and this is your first year of teaching
and recognizing this sort of thing
does come with experience.
Yes Mrs. Rayburn.
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver, Theodore's showing
of such remarkable potential presents quite a problem.
A problem?
We're not equipped to handle the exceptional child.
I had a talk with Dr. Wade,
he's the school system psychologist,
and both of us urge you
to place Theodore in a special school.
Change schools?
But he's been so happy here and he has his friends
and he's particularly fond of Miss Canfield here.
I'm very fond of Beaver too.
Dr. Wade gave me these pamphlets
on some excellent schools.
I do hope you consider one of these for Theodore
and I thank you for coming down and
I hope you make the right decision.
Yes well, thank you.
(nervous orchestral music)
Thank you, goodbye.
Hey Beaver, are they really gonna send you
one of these schools?
I guess so, they're taking me out to one of 'em tomorrow
to get reviewed.
(audience laughing)
Interviewed.
Interviewed.
Wally, if I've gotta go I like this one best.
It's the only one that got swings in the yard.
(audience laughing)
Yeah I noticed the kids were giving you a rough time
at recess today.
Yeah, why'd you do that just because I got a good mark?
Whitey gets good marks.
Yeah but you never have before.
I guess they're kinda jealous, they think you made 'em
look bad on purpose.
(audience laughing)
Wally, I'm gonna miss the kids at school.
Even that creepy Judy.
(audience laughing)
Guess I'm gonna miss you too Wally.
Don't worry Beave,
I'll come up and see you on visiting days,
just like they do at the penitentiary.
(audience laughing)
(sad orchestral music)
Good morning.
Good morning.
I'm Dr. Compton.
How do you do?
I'm Mr. Cleaver.
Dr. Wade called and told me you were coming.
I imagine this is the young man.
What's your name my boy?
Beaver.
Beaver?
Well his name's actually Theodore
but the boys started calling him Beaver because it's,
sort of a nickname.
Well Beaver,
suppose we all sit down and have a talk hmm?
Dr. Compton don't you think we ought to let.
Beaver play outside while we talk this over?
Oh no, no, no, no.
That's one of my theories.
Too many educators treat the gifted child
as if he were suffering from some sort of affliction.
You don't mind if we talk in front of you
do you young man?
No, Mom and Dad do that at home
except they spell out the bad words.
(audience laughing)
This young fella's got quite a sense of humor.
Yeah.
(Beaver laughing)
Well Beaver this is for you and
you and your wife sit over there.
Thank you.
Well after your tour around what do you think
of our school?
We think it's very nice.
And you got an old baseball field?
No, no, we have an excellent gymnasium
and a fine swimming pool.
You see Mr. Cleaver
we don't go in for competitive sports here.
We feel that it arouses the natural antagonisms in a boy
and, besides, it's very distracting emotionally.
Oh oh, well I've played football myself.
I'd always thought that the team play
sort of prepared one for life.
I'm sure it's fine for the average child
but we just can't have it with our boys.
Being smart is a lot more complicated
than when I was a boy.
It certainly is Mr. Cleaver.
I've been looking over Dr. Wayde's letter.
Yes the boy made a fine showing.
It's an excellent test too.
Wonderful way of putting a ruler to a boy's brain.
(audience laughing)
We're very proud that Beaver did so well in his test.
We're just trying to make up our minds what to do.
I imagine Theodore's marks have made up your mind for you.
You don't want to jeopardize his future.
Well it's certainly what we're concerned with.
By the way,
have you given any thought to your vocation in life?
Huh?
Dr. Compton wants to know what you'd like to be
when you grow up.
Yes, would you think of being a lawyer or a scientist?
Perhaps a doctor.
I don't think so.
Doctors have to wash their hands all the time.
Besides that they smell funny.
(audience laughing)
I'm sure an intelligent fellow like you has ambitions.
What would you like to be in life?
Well I thought maybe a garbage collector.
(audience laughing)
A garbage collector, now why a garbage collector?
Well you don't have to wash your hands all the time
and nobody cares how you smell.
(audience laughing)
That's an original way of looking at it.
There seems to be some diffusion of thoughts here
but I'm sure we can remedy that.
Our main concern is taking him away from his friends
and the school where he's been so happy.
Oh I know the young man's going to like it here,
aren't ya son?
Guess so, sure wish you had a baseball field though.
(alarming orchestral music)
Hi Wally.
Hi Beave.
Hey how'd you like the new school?
Did they interview ya?
Yeah, but Wally, it doesn't look like a school at all.
It looks like the building where we go to the dentist.
Well did you get to see any of the kids?
Yeah, but I didn't get to talk to any of 'em.
They took us in a room where I looked at a bunch of 'em
through a glass window.
Well maybe they were afraid you'd get germs on 'em
or somethin'.
You know Wally,
I don't think I'm gonna like it, being a genius.
(doorbell ringing)
Well Miss Canfield, come on in.
Thank you.
Mrs. Cleaver, I hope I'm not disturbing you
but I would like to talk to you and your husband
about something important.
Well come on in.
Hello Miss Canfield!
Glad you caught us in.
We've been looking over schools for the Beaver.
Yes well that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
This is Charles Fredericks, he's a new boy in my class.
How do you do Charles?
How do you do Mr. Cleaver?
I'm sorry about what I did.
Huh?
Charles came to me this afternoon
with a rather startling confession.
You see I gave him the test papers
to take to Mrs. Rayburn's office.
Well it seems that he switched the papers
and he put his name on Beaver's test.
You mean the Beaver didn't get the high mark?
No, I'm afraid he didn't.
Oh I know this must be upsetting to both of you.
Well I,
I must say it comes as something of a shock.
Charles, why would you do a thing like that?
Well at the school I came from
I always got the best marks in the class
and the kids were always pickin' on me.
Why did they pick on you?
I guess 'cause my parents were always comin' to the school
and makin' a fuss about it.
Ohh.
I hope you can forgive Charles.
His parents almost made him afraid of being smart.
I can see how that could happen.
Yeah,
but I'm curious Charles.
Why did you pick on the Beaver to change papers with?
Well everybody likes him.
I thought if I used his paper, they'd like me too.
I see.
Well now look, why don't you just go upstairs
and play with the Beaver for a while?
Gee could I?
- Sure you can.
- Thanks.
Please Mr. Cleaver, don't say anything huh?
Okay Charlie.
Well Miss Canfield, I suppose it may sound silly
but the only feeling I have right now is one of relief.
You know, I just think it's wonderful
that there are bright boys like Charles
but somehow I'd rather have the Beaver just the way he is.
D'you know Mrs. Cleaver, so would I.
(peaceful orchestral music)
(chirpy orchestral music)
You know Wally, the test papers were switched.
I didn't get that high mark at all.
I figured all the time there was somethin' funny about it.
(audience laughing)
Wally, Dad says I'm not supposed to tell anyone,
but if I don't tell anyone how are the kids
supposed to know I'm not a genius.
Why don't you just tell 'em what four times four are?
That ought to do it.
Sure, 12!
(audience laughing)
Well it's been quite a day
but it looks like we're back to normal.
Why so pensive?
You know June, I think I've learned something
from all this.
To take our kids as they are.
Not wish they were something else or
try to make 'em like ourselves, it doesn't work.
You know, maybe it's just as well that it doesn't.
Yeah. (Phone ringing)
Hello,
oh hi Willis.
Pick you up tomorrow?
Sure.
Thanks Ward, see Dorothea wouldn't let me have the car
the other day and it cost me two 60 in taxi fair.
Oh, by the way, about those intelligence tests.
I don't put too much stock in them,
I mean my boys finished in the bottom half of the school
for the first time.
Can't get over your boy finishing first.
Well we had a talk with Miss Canfield.
And we're not gonna make a big thing out of the Beaver's
standing in the test.
You know, in our family we sort of
take things like in stride.
Well no of course I won't forget to pick you up Willis.
Yes, yes, I know two 60's a lot of money.
All right, bye.
Ward, why didn't you tell Willis that that high mark
was a mistake?
I couldn't have done that June.
You heard me promise Miss Canfield
not to breathe it to a soul.
(joyful orchestral music)
(triumphant trumpet music)