The Troop (2009) s01e14 Episode Script

Jake You're going
to Sir Golf-A-Lots
with Felix tomorrow, right?
Hayley Ah, I guess.
I'm pretty slammed, but I don't
think I can keep saying no.
Me too.
Sometimes I wish I was
Knight Shield from issue 189
so I could just shift time
and I've already done it.
This is reality, okay?
Not some crazy
comic book fantasy.
Now help me with the dimension
mites so we can tear a hole
in the time/space fabric
and return these monsters
back to their world.
[poof of air]
I would give you guys
a hand until Felix shows,
but those monsters
kind of gross me out.
This one's not so bad.
Ooo, Festering Gorn.
It's constantly oozing
and eating its own pus.
Fascinating cycle.
[shrieks and chirps]
I think I'm going
to wait in the front seat.
Hayley If you do, be careful
of that Flying Eye Slicer.
It keeps getting out
of its cage.
I think I'm going
to wait by this tree.
Jake So we spend all
this time tracking monsters,
just to let them go?
We don't let them go, Jake.
We're returning them back
to their own dimensions.
Felix Sorry I'm late, guys.
I was hanging out with a friend
and I forgot what time it was.
Jake You know, Felix,
puppets and friends
aren't the same things.
For your information, Jake,
I broke up with most of
my puppets and when I said
'friend' I was referring
to a human being this time.
Stockley Ohhh!
What's wrong, Mr. Stockley?
Stockley I just saw
a snake vomit up a rabbit.
Nature's disgusting.
I'm gonna wait
over by this rock.
Hayley Well,
grab a cage, Felix.
Should I take the
Andrusian Snot slug
or the Scab-Crusted Gnarl?
[Stockley groans]
The Gnarl.
[cases clank]
Hey, are you still up for some
Sir Golf-A-Lots tomorrow night?
It's going to be a blast.
The best giant pretzels ever
Yeah, sure.
We haven't just
hung out in a while.
Hayley Sounds great.
[mites buzz]
I love this job!
Whoa, what's that?
It's a paper mache
diorama of The Alamo.
It's exact.
If you were four inches tall,
you'd think you were
actually there. Ahh!
Jake Seems like
a ton of work.
Well, the assignment was
just to answer the questions
at the end of the chapter but
I believe in 'show, don't tell.'
[plunk]
Ahh! Watch it!
These are my sample invitations
to Michelle's birthday party.
Texting is a lot easier.
Sure, and why shower
if you're just going
to get dirty again?
I know, right?
Hey, guys.
Bad news, I'm not
going to be able to
You know what
else saves time?
Not washing the dishes until
you're ready to use them.
Then you only clean
the ones you need.
Oh, shoot!
This is your fault!
It's ruined!
I didn't do it.
Besides, it looks kind of cool.
Like graffiti.
There is no graffiti
at the Alamo.
Felix Guys,
this is important.
I can't go miniature golfing.
I have a huge English paper due.
It's fine.
I have to fix my Alamo anyway.
Argh!
Felix I'm sorry, Jake.
I know you were looking forward
to a little Felix time.
You know, time to reconnect and
really get to know each other.
No, this is great.
See ya.
[cart rattles]
They just don't understand,
just how much work it takes.
[blaster whirs and fires]
What are you doing?
Hayley Oh, just starting
over on my diorama.
[blast]
[weapon whirs to recharge]
You seem to be wound up
a bit tight lately.
Sometimes you just need
to relax, take a breath
and reflect on whether or not
you're making the best choice.
Okay.
Yep.
Best choice.
Ahem.
[weapon charges]
Hayley, you've been running
yourself ragged lately.
I am invoking Troop Order 172:
"Check yourself before
you wreck yourself."
'Chillax Proviso'?
Stockley You need
to clear your head.
Go down to the boardwalk
and watch some ships sail in.
Enjoy a fruit smoothie.
Ah ah!
Feed the ducks.
Okay.
Operation Disengage - engaged.
[sizzles]
[swords smack]
[grunts]
[heavy breathing]
I had no idea there was a
chapter of the Lakewood Society
for Medieval Knights at school.
I had to make my mom
drive two hours
to find like-minded brethren.
[swords smack]
Gus Well drive
no more, my friend.
For you have unearthed
a club of two.
[clanks]
[heavy breaths]
Well, that's over double the
membership of my usual clubs.
Ahhh!
Jake Hayley.
Hayley This better
be important, Jake.
I'm trying to relax here.
Anastasia, could you turn that
30 minute massage into 15?
Thanks.
Jake Hayley,
Felix lied to us.
He doesn't have English paper.
He's hanging out with Gus,
that kid who tried
to destroy us.
Are you spying on him?
No.
Well, yes.
I was riding home and then
I heard sword-fighting.
Sorry, Jake, can't help ya.
I'm on a 172.
Ooh, Stockley hit you
with a 'Chillax Proviso'?
Harsh.
I know, right?
I'm relaxing my head off.
Faster, Anastasia.
Come on, faster!
Don't worry about Gus.
We snarked him.
He won't remember a thing.
[grunts]
Jake Yeah, you're
probably right.
Hayley Hm, maybe you're
just a little bit jealous
that Felix ditched you to
hang out with his new friend.
I'm not jealous.
[watchcom beeps off]
Hayley?
Hayley?
[grunts]
[swords smack]
I spend so much time
practicing with fake
light sabers, I forgot
how to use fake swords.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
You're doing well.
Thank you.
[groans and smacks of swords]
Or shall I say,
"Well served!"
Join my fiefdom, Felix, and you
and I shall be like brothers.
You honor me, Augustus.
I'm going to grab
a water, you want one?
[Felix coughs]
Yeah, thanks.
Hey, that was a
really awesome move.
How did you do that?
Oh, just keep practicing.
You'll get the hang of it.
Hey, ah, are you sure
your friends weren't mad
about you bailing
on miniature golf?
Felix Nah.
No one seemed to care.
Actually, they seemed
kind of relieved.
They're kind of busy
with their own stuff.
Well, friend, I promise you,
I will always make time
for a fellow knight.
Tally ho!
Whoa, that's 19th
century fox hunting.
Zounds?
There you go!
Felix Could you open
this for me, please?
Gus Right.
[computer beeps]
[door opening]
Stockley What are
you doing here?
All done.
I've finished mine,
this one's for you.
Went to the boardwalk.
Check.
Saw eight ships come in:
five pleasure crafts,
two commercial fishing vessels
and one of Liberian registry.
Check.
Fed the ducks.
Oh, here.
[quacks]
I found this monster
hiding among the ducks.
I'll lock it up in a minute.
[quacks]
I believe this
may be a real duck.
Albeit with some
molting problems.
You need to relax.
I did every stinking
thing on this list.
That must mean
I'm relaxed, right?
Stressed out people have
a tendency to make mistakes.
That's ridiculous.
I don't make mistakes.
[quacks]
You're taking
the day off tomorrow.
No school, no Troop, no nothing.
You have to completely veg out
or I'm taking your badge.
This is so unfair,
Mr. Stockley.
Stockley It's for
your own good.
Life is filled with hardships.
Thanks for the smoothie!
Mmm, papaya.
[quack]
[murmur of students]
[Felix gasps]
Hey, Jake.
So, how did your paper go?
Paper?
Oh, yeah, the big paper.
Great, I was working on
it until late last night.
Ha ha.
Huh?
What's it about?
The paper?
Ah, it was about the Vikings
and their relation to
the nucleus in Dickens.
I gotta go turn it in now.
[Jake snickers]
You're lying.
I saw you with Gus yesterday.
He goes by Augustus.
Am I not allowed
to have other friends?
Friends that try
to exterminate us?
Felix He was under the
influence of another monster
and we had to snark
him back to normal.
He didn't even know he did it.
He's really a nice guy
once you get to know him.
I'm just saying, we saw
his true colors - be careful.
I know what this is.
Say no more.
I already put you up for
membership in the Lakewood
Society for Medieval Knights.
Good news is,
I'm vice president.
[school bell rings]
Thanks.
[security system beeps]
Stockley Freeze!
Jake Whoa!
Sorry.
What happened?
Someone broke in.
Is anything missing?
Just one thing,
the dimension mites.
Someone's planning on
bringing over some monsters.
Whoever broke in bypassed
all security measures.
Security cameras are down.
Key card access codes
are scrambled.
Can you fix it?
I think so.
It'll take some time.
I'm most worried about those
missing dimension mites though.
Me too.
Now they can bring over monsters
from the other world
anytime they want.
Exactly.
Take us to MonsterCon Two.
I've got to contact
International.
[computer beeps]
[clicks on keyboard]
Have you seen Felix today?
Not yet.
[computer beeps]
What's going on, guys?
I was in the middle
of redecorating my room.
What do you think?
And monitoring TroopGrid
and I noticed that we just
moved up to MonsterCon Two.
Didn't I tell you
to stay home and relax?
Monsters relax me!
Stockley Get into that
relaxation kit that I gave you.
That's an order.
Ahh
[computer beeps off]
Wait a minute,
she gets out of school?
That's not right.
I feel I'm being unfairly
punished for not taking
my school work seriously.
[school bell rings]
I don't even know
what that means.
Get to class, Jake.
We can't do anything
until I repair the files.
There's something I can do.
[sigh]
[sniff]
Tried it.
Done it.
Want it.
All right.
"Find Your Happy Place
with Mr. Stockley."
All right, Mr. Stockley
see what you can do.
Stockley's voice If you
are listening to this,
you need torelax.
So get comfortable on the floor.
Put you feet up and
lie back on a pillow.
And now, just listen to the
soothing sounds of the ocean.
Whisssh!
Whooosh!
[Stockley making seagull calls]
Why don't you hang back?
My, my next class is at
the other end of the school.
I don't want to be late.
Give 'em to me.
What are you talking about?
You know
what I'm talking about.
Give them to me, Gus.
It's Augustus.
Okay.
Fine.
I didn't think
anyone would notice.
I paid for one bag and when two
fell out of the vending machine,
I though, "Hey, free chips."
You know that's not
what I'm talking about.
If you're going to de-pants
me, just go ahead and do it.
I'm used to bullies like you.
Felix Hey, Jake.
What are you doing?
Just trying to get back
something your friend here
stole from headquarters.
Gus What could you steal
from Mime headquarters?
Invisible rope and boxes?
[Felix laughs]
Oh, come on.
He got you, Jake.
Let me talk to him for a minute.
Careful with this one, Felix.
He's not Knight Society quality.
Felix, Gus has
been using you.
Don't you think it's weird that
right after the two of you
started hanging out someone
broke into headquarters?
It wasn't him.
I know it.
Why? Because he's pretending
to be your friend.
Well
Why does he have
to be pretending?
You know
Felix Oh, I see.
Nobody wants to be my friend.
That's not what I meant.
I'm sorry!
Keep your head between
your upper arms and
don't let it hang.
Now, hold this position
for five more minutes.
And breathe
You have got
to be kidding me.
Stockley You're probably
out there right now saying
"You have got to be kidding me."
[heavy breaths]
I need something boring.
Girl on TV Howard, I like,
totally love you.
Ah, perfect.
Boy on TV I love
you too, dude.
It's like we're destined for
each other in junk, I mean,
I totally want to get with you.
Girl on TV I know.
I know.
But what about Steve?
He's only your best bro'.
Ah, your best bro'.
Bro' code, uh-uh.
Gus Trust and openness,
that's always been my motto.
That and never shop for
groceries when you're hungry.
But mostly, trust and openness.
Unfortunately, not
everyone agrees.
Exactly.
I apologize for Jake.
He might be a little jealous.
He's really usually a good
guy.
Well, I will say this,
[door slams]
he is brighter than he looks.
Cause he's right.
[mites buzz]
This room.
Look how you live.
You've gone mad.
Mad!
Oh, perhaps, yeah.
But I also have a terrible maid.
She worked in the family
forever but it's been
coasting for years.
Augustus, you don't
know what you have there.
Those are very dangerous.
Oh, I'm well aware
of what they do.
Felix If you open that lid, I
am totally quitting your chapter
of the Lakewood Society
for Medieval Knights!
[zaps]
[whoosh]
Gus The Troop fails to
comprehend their full potential.
Why use the mites
to send back monsters,
when it's so much
more fun
[growl]
to bring monsters over here?
[Felix screams]
[zaps]
One down.
Two to go.
[whistles]
Jake Hey, Phoebe.
Dinner's almost ready.
Mom wants to know if
your friend's staying.
Who, Felix?
I didn't see him.
He's hanging out in your room.
Thanks, Phoebe.
Felix, I'm so sorry
about what Isaid.
What are you doing here?
You should never
apologies, Jake.
[zaps]
[whoosh]
It's a sign of weakness.
[growl]
[snarl]
Well, I don't understand
how Gus got the key card.
Felix I think I might
have an idea.
I'm really sorry
about this, guys.
Lucky for us, Augustus
doesn't know his monsters.
The creature he pulled
was actually a Huggie Bear.
It loves to tickle.
I actually almost peed myself.
Any word from Jake?
Not yet.
Girl on TV How can I
even trust you, Howard?
You're hitting on my sister.
It's not his fault!
Your sister's totally gross!
[watchcom beeps]
Felix Hayley, I'm on
my way to Jake's house.
Meet me there now!
Girl on TV I've made
my decision, the guy
I'm taking to the prom is
Felix Hayley, I need you to
go to Jake's house immediately.
Fine!
I can't even watch a soap opera.
That's my life for you.
[crash]
[snarls]
Gus You don't understand
the power that you have.
[snarl]
We can use the monsters
to control the world!
You think you
can control them?
Enough to destroy you.
[snarls]
[Jake gasps]
[monster snarls]
[snap, snap, snap]
[rustle at door]
Gus Wait, you're alive!
Glad to disappoint you.
[snarls]
[crunching]
[shrieks]
[whoosh]
[monster snarls]
[thump]
[monster screams]
[whoosh]
No!
You've ruined everything!
You've done that
to yourself, Gus.
It's Augustus!
How many times do I
have to tell you that?
Make it easier on yourself
and put the club down.
Gus Oh, go ahead.
Snark me.
It won't matter.
I've let myself notes
and video messages
all reminding me
of what you people do.
All instructing me
to destroy you.
He always talked too much.
How did you do that?
I kept practicing.
[smack]
You've got to
teach me that move.
Eee
So, I see that
stuff I sent over
really helped you to relax, huh?
Actually, I think it was
taking down the monsters
that did the trick.
That other stuff,
ha, that was the real stresser.
Ha ha, right.
Felix, don't forget
to change the key card
encryption codes too, okay?
Already done.
Really?
I thought if we got out early
we could catch
a movie or something.
I'd love to.
So, Mr. Stockley,
whatever happened to Gus?
Well, due to the sensitive
nature of his infiltration into
The Troop, International had to
step in andclear things up.
How'd they do that?
They have their ways.
I'm telling the truth.
There really are monsters.
It's just no one ever knows
because of The Troop.
They hide the monsters
everywhere.
The Troop is real!
The monsters are real!
I've seen them.
I've seen them before.
I can control them.
I can control them!
They can be our friends!
They can help control the world!