Family Affair (1966) s01e15 Episode Script

1
Whoa!
Hi, Jody.
Me not Jody.
Me Indian brave.
Long eagle.
Hi, long eagle.
Hi, Uncle Bill.
Hi, how's my little girl?
Fine.
You said you were gonna scout Mr. French.
Just look at him.
Uncle Bill, when us Indians capture Mr.
French, do we scalp his head or his chin?
Oh, very good, sir.
But, um, you must barely whisper the final
U.
Ohio Gazimus.
Ohio Gazimus.
That's right, sir.
Got it.
Mr. Massau ought to be impressed with
that.
Mr. Davis.
Ignore him.
But how much longer, sir?
I don't know.
Maybe it's just a phase.
Well, Ohio Gazimus.
Or should I say how?
Thank you very much, Mr. Massau.
Thank you, Mr. Davis.
He likes it.
Oh, you like it?
I'm very, very glad, sir.
Oh, I like very much.
This monorail system, absolute best.
How soon we leave for Tokyo?
Oh, well, it takes some time to get ready.
What are you doing?
Me capture bear things.
Are you going to torture him?
Sure.
Well, have fun.
Sayonara.
We got it.
We got it.
Why are you so glum?
You got something against monorails?
Well, times have changed.
You know, I've got an obligation to those kids,
and I don't like to be away all the time, that's all.
Oh, French can take care of them while
you're gone.
And there are phones in Tokyo,
you know.
Well, you can even jet back and forth if
you have to.
I know, I know, but they've got problems.
I told them I'd be around.
Every time one of them has a problem, I'm
off on the other side of the world someplace.
Problems?
It's kids' stuff.
Uh, forgotten the next day.
You haven't got any kids, so you don't
know any more about them than I do.
I'm sorry, Mr. French, but I'm sure Jody
was just playing.
Oh, just playing, indeed.
Well, that young man would make even
Geronimo take to the hills.
Hey, I'm gonna scalp Mr. French.
Nonsense.
I'm an Englishman, and we have a treaty
with the Iroquois.
Bill?
Bill, maybe I can take over your family
problem here.
Which one is it?
Jody.
Jody, he has a problem?
Like what, trying to get an entire
hamburger in his mouth at once?
No, he thinks he's an Indian.
That's a problem?
Well, maybe the shock of losing his
parents is having a belated effect on him.
I don't know.
He seems to be, what do they call it,
retreating into a fantasy world.
Oh, kids do that.
You know, it's more than a game of pretend
with Jody.
It's just like he's trying to avoid
reality altogether.
Okay, what do we do about it?
Well, I was hoping I could find something
to do right here in New York.
Well, the only bid we have out is the
Pennington Plaza job.
And you know Pennington.
Or rather, you know that nobody knows
Pennington.
Well, we got a fat chance of landing that
old buzzard.
Anyway, what could you do if you did stay
here?
What could you do about Jody?
Well, I got a couple of ideas.
For openers.
I'm gonna take that home to him.
A hard hat.
Aren't you just switching fantasies?
Nope.
Now, he hears me talking about construction, and I think
maybe I can kind of gently ease him back to reality.
You know, pretend we're doing a job
together.
Give him something to hang on to.
It's gonna take time.
I'll give you a call.
I don't hold out much hope, but if I hear
anything from Pennington, I'll call you.
Thank you.
Either we land him by Saturday, or it's
gonna be Madam Butterfly, here I come.
Good afternoon, sir.
French, how's Jody?
Quite out of hand, sir.
Hello.
Hi, Jody.
Me not.
Jody.
Me Indian brave.
Long eagle.
All right, long eagle.
Hi, Uncle Bill.
Hi, how's my little girl?
Fine.
Fine.
I just burnt down your ranch house.
I captured Mrs. Beasley.
You said you were gonna scout Mr. French.
Just look at him.
Uncle Bill, when us Indians capture Mr.
French, do we scalp his head or his chin?
Jody?
Listen.
How would you like a job working for me,
huh?
There.
Jody, look, a hat, just like Uncle Bill.
I'm an engineer, a real engineer.
Wait a minute.
Just to keep the record straight,
you're a pretend engineer.
Got that?
Mrs. Beasley will like that.
Now she won't have to get captured all the
time.
Now I can.
Tear down this whole building.
Yeah, Ed, you sure about that,
huh?
Oh, okay, thanks, Ed.
Goodbye.
That's Ed Hastings out of the journal.
He says that the Owen Pennington Plaza job
is boiled down to two outfits,
crumplers and us.
Well, I still think you should be ready to
leave for Japan.
The crumpler will underbid us.
Crumpler underbids everybody.
Yeah, and everybody knows they cut
corners, too.
If I could get to old man Pennington for
five minutes, that's all I ask, five minutes.
Oh, yeah, you could talk to him if you
could find him.
Where'd you send our bid?
Post office box, Grand Central Station.
He's got to have some kind of
organization.
Dozens of them.
All right, one of them makes
recommendations to him.
They'd know how to get in touch with him,
wouldn't they?
Nobody makes decisions for Owen
Pennington.
But Owen Pennington.
Doesn't he got an office?
In his hat.
He uses pay phones to contact his
headquarters, if and when he feels like it.
Miss Lee, get me all the background
material you can on Owen Pennington.
Books, magazines, TV tapes, anything you
can find at all.
You know what you're going to find out?
He's rich, powerful, old, and eccentric.
He wears sneakers with his faded blue
corduroys.
All right, maybe I'll get a hint.
That's all I want, just a hint where I can
find him.
Before that plane leaves for Tokyo.
And what did your teacher say to you about
wearing that hat at school today?
She made me take it off, except at recess.
Well, a matter of simple good manners.
It was dangerous to take it off, because
I was tearing down the school building.
You didn't really, Mr. French,
just pretend.
I did so.
It's just a great big empty lot.
Good.
We'll be able to park there tomorrow.
Mr. French, is it all right if I go
outside now?
What are your plans?
I gotta go look for a job.
I'm all finished tearing down this
apartment and this school building.
Well, why don't you stay here and start
something more constructive?
Please, I won't get in trouble or break
anything.
I just want to tear down a few buildings.
Very well.
You may go out and tear down anything
you wish within the confines of this city block.
Huh?
Do not cross streets.
And we're using extra steel here because
of the increased stress factor.
Right.
Double it.
I build to last forever.
Yes, sir.
I was wondering where to get in touch with
you about some of these things,
Mr. Pennington.
You don't.
I get in touch with you.
What do you want?
I'm looking for a job.
What do you do?
Tear down buildings.
Where did you get that hard hat?
I'm trying to find a job.
Coppia, us construction guys bear them so
rocks don't fall on our head.
What's your name?
Jody Butchers.
Holden, how long have you been looking for
a job?
Oh, not too long.
Just finished a tunnel in Peru.
Oh, is that so?
And before that, a bridge down in Canada.
Up in Canada.
Yeah, I'm strong for just going on seven.
There ought to be a place for a man like
you.
How would you like to work with me?
Okay.
Oh, good morning, sir.
Yeah, I got a change in my dinner jacket.
Oh, we dining out, sir?
Yeah.
Well, I have to have dinner with Ted Gaynor
at the place called Manhattan League Club.
Oh, to be sure, sir.
I'm preparing our wardrobe for Tokyo now,
sir.
Weather there can be quite brisk at this
time of the year.
Oh, by the way, sir, shall we pack the
ceremonial kimono?
Oh, no, listen, with any luck,
Mr. Gaynor and I have any luck at the club
tonight, we won't even have to go to
Tokyo.
Luck, sir?
It's Owen Pennington's club.
Is your Mr. Pennington so elusive,
sir?
The most elusive.
Landing the Pennington contract is the
only way I can avoid going to Japan.
Now, how's Jody?
You think he's coming down to Earth?
No, sir, no, sir.
I'm afraid he's taking the hard hat as
seriously as the war bonnet.
Oh, boy, what a great time to walk out on
him.
Well, where have you been?
I had to work late.
Oh.
You better march right in there and
explain to Mr. Davis.
Hi.
Hi, Jody.
Mr. French says I report to you.
Report what?
About my first day on the job.
What job?
The building down the street.
Oh, Jody, now we're going to have to have a little
talk about the difference between pretend and reality.
You know, the difference between
make-believe and what's real.
Now, this hard hat is a toy, and you're a
little boy, six years old, and you go to school.
Now, you're just pretending to be a
construction worker.
Got that?
I got paid.
Ten cents.
Real money.
Well, who gave it to you?
Oney.
I help him.
Who's Oney?
My friend.
Oh.
Okay, Jody.
Now, you and your little friend play,
but just remember you're playing, okay?
I'll remember it, but I won't believe you.
Oh.
Any luck, sir?
No.
Huntington never showed up.
Nobody there ever heard of him.
I don't know why he bothers to pay his
dues.
Oh, I have better news, sir.
I made a few discreet calls.
Did you locate him?
Well, not quite, sir, but among others,
I telephoned Miss Waldron.
She's the upstairs maid to the Vandy
Venters.
She's never seen Mr. Pennington.
That figures.
No, sir, but she's heard her cousin
mention him.
Well, that's as close as we've been so
far.
Yes, sir, but among other things,
her cousin is a masseur at the
the Health First Club, and she said that he said
that Mr. Pennington takes a steam bath there at 2 A.M.
every Tuesday morning.
2 O'clock in the morning?
Yes, sir, and it is now 1.35 A.M.
Oh, uh, the address of the establishment,
sir.
French, steam or no steam, I'm gonna track
him down, and I'm gonna nail it.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hi, Jody.
You asleep?
Nothing more.
What's going on?
See that building down the street?
Mm-hmm.
That's my work.
Today, me and Nonny went right to the top.
That's nice.
Ah, ah, tough.
On the elevator, right up there where
there's nothing to hang on to.
Jody, are you pretending now, or did you
really go up in that elevator?
I had to.
It's part of my job.
No fooling?
Cross my heart.
Went right to the top.
Okay, that does it.
We're gonna have to figure out some new
kind of therapy, Jody.
This sure isn't working.
But Uncle Bill, it's dangerous without my
hat.
Sorry, you're a lone eagle Indian again.
Jody, you know better than to come to work
without your hard hat.
I just came to tell you, I have a hard
hat.
I have to quit.
Quit?
You're doing a great job.
Yeah, but Uncle Bill took my hat away and
said I have to be an Indian again.
Why?
I don't know.
Is he mean to you?
No, he's a good guy.
Maybe I better talk to him, just to make
sure, huh?
Okay.
Okay, but the last guy who looked like
you, he gave a quarter to.
We're relieved you're home, sir.
We don't quite know what to do.
About what?
Well, a problem, sir.
Jody brought a friend home for milk and
cookies, and he insists that since Buffy
and Cissy bring their friends in,
he claims to say right.
Well, he can bring his little friends home
when he wants to.
What's the problem?
That is the problem, sir.
His little friend.
Hi, Jody.
Uncle Bill, this is Oney.
Oh, Oney, I'm Bill Davis.
Any friend of Jody's is always welcome.
See, Oney?
He's a nice guy, even if he did take my
hat.
Why did he take his hat away?
Well, I thought it was best.
He tells me that you go away and leave him
a lot.
Yeah, that's my job.
Uncle Bill's going to Tokyo in a couple of
days.
Don't you think if you stuck around,
it'd anchor him a little better?
Yeah, and maybe it can't be done.
Or maybe you can tell me how.
Mind if I use your phone?
Right over here.
Say, did you really send him up in an open
elevator?
Why not?
It was caged in.
Didn't anybody try to stop you?
How could they?
Jealous of him?
On the Pennington Plaza job.
Award the contracts to Davis and Gaynor.
Oh, Mr. Davis, huh?
I've just decided.
You don't have to pay for the call,
Mr. Pennington.
I always pay my own way, Mr. Davis.
Mr. Pennington, wouldn't you like to talk?
Talk a little about, I mean, I'd like to tell
you something about Davis and Gaynor first.
I'll bet I know more about Davis and
Gaynor than you do.
You tell your partner you and he meet me
tonight at midnight.
Midnight?
Where?
The usual place.
Staten Island Ferry, on the bow.
So long, Jody.
You and I are going to work together again
someday, you know?
Okay, honey.
Bye.
Bye.
Kenny.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, sir.
Uncle Bill, was it okay for me to bring a
Fred Hope?
Yeah, it was okay.
You're going to have your hat back,
too.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi, Jody.
You okay?
Sure.
Any problems?
None I can't handle.
I was worried about you.
You were?
Why?
What are you pretending to be now,
an Indian?
Construction worker?
Doctor?
Nope.
This time I'm Uncle Bill.
Bill, watch.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
I got a feeling we're all gonna be okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.