Level Up (2012) s01e15 Episode Script

[Wyatt]
Saber-splat!
All righty, skunk bear,
relax!
We're gonna make this as
painless as possible.
[roars]
- Aah!
- Oh!
Oh!
Dude, that smells so bad!
Oh, it smells so bad!
I'm getting subtle hints
of toe cheese,
dead hamster, and
if I'm not mistaken,
a hint of ripe diaper.
Run!
Conspiracy Club,
cameras down.
What are you boys
doing out here?
- Pine coning.
- School project.
I just ran into these guys.
- Just now.
- And what's that
you're carrying?
Oh, school supplies
from the science lab.
- Yeah.
- For the chemistry thing.
Which explains the explosion
you just saw.
Unless you didn't
see an explosion,
in which case,
neither did we.
We did.
- [roar]
- There it is again.
What? My tummy?
Your tummy? Really?
Grapefruit.
Your stomach?
I don't think that noise
is with your stomach.
Don't underestimate the power
of Dante's digestive tract.
- Something doesn't
smell right here.
- Ow?
Oh, man, something really
doesn't smell right here.
Ooh!
Didn't expect this.
[roar]
Why are we going to a boring
Conspiracy Club meeting?
We should be out
in the woods
barding that funky skunk bear
before the wind
shifts toward town.
I'm glad I finally got rid
of that skunk bear scent.
So what do you think?
Mountain Breeze?
Off a diaper mountain!
We are joining
the Conspiracy Club
because they saw us
chasing a leak.
We need to keep our enemies
close. We need to know
what they know.
I hope they never find out
we're the ones responsible
for monsters leaking
from the Internet.
because if they do, they're
gonna tell the whole world
- and then--
- We'd be in deep
doo-doo diapers.
Oh, did I just die
and go to snack heaven?
You just put that whole
thing in your mouth?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
How do you eat muffins?
By taking the wrapper
off first.
Hey, guys, thanks
for appreciating our
bountiful spread.
[whip cracks]
Jim and Davis,
stop talking about
your ridiculous snacks
- with the defendants!
- Uhhh--
defendants?
I swallowed the wrapper.
You told us that you
were in the woods for
a chemistry project
when if fact none of you
even take chemistry.
Technically we--
There have been a lot
of strange occurrences
in Daventry Hills
and for some reason
you three always happen
to be there when they happen.
It's just a coinkydink.
A coinkydink!
[cracks whip]
I think not!
I'm putting you all
on trial.
Wait--
okay, I watch a lot
of lawyer shows,
and I'm pretty sure you
don't have the authority
to put us on trial.
I doubt they have
any real evidence.
Exhibit E--
the three of you cavorting
with eccentric billionaire
Max Ross,
who is well-known
for conducting strange
experiments
which have caused
town-wide blackouts
when certain people are
blow drying their hair.
Exhibit H--
Okay, so they have
some real evidence.
The three of you with
a very suspicious hairy man.
Objection!
If it was a crime to hang out
with weirdoes,
these two would already
be in jail.
This doesn't prove anything.
We move for a mistrial.
So we can move to the woods
to bard the skunk bear.
Overruled!
Gus, haven't I
told you to remove
picture of the naked
mole rat 1,000 times?
But they're scary.
You think your out-of-focus
pictures of trees are scary.
They are.
And then there's this.
A very grainy video
I've captured and saved
on my phone
that I'd like to
pass around and have
everyone take a look at.
Can you explain this?
Ooh
Come on.
Okay. So they have
a lot of real evidence.
Right, and based on
the lawyer shows that
I've watched,
I suggest that we
scream and run away.
I've got a better idea.
I say getting out of
here to bard the skunk bear
because that's my plan.
- Nope.
- Objection!
Will you stop
with that?
Your Honor, we would
like to enter a plea.
- We would?
- Yeah.
And we would like
to plead guilty.
What?
Ha!
Ha!
You hear that,
everybody?
They're guilty!
And who has my phone?
- We are indeed guilty--
- I'm not guilty.
just like all of
you are guilty--
guilty of hunting
for the truth.
Yes, we also
have been investigating
these strange occurrences.
Right, guys?
Right.
We're truth hunters.
We hunt it, bag it, tag it,
and we put it
in the truth zoo.
In the truth zoo.
Yes.
We are not the mystery.
We are investigating
the mystery.
That's right.
- I say we join forces.
- Yeah.
We don't like
each other, right?
True that.
Heretofore wit,
shouldn't you keep
your enemies close
and your enemies closer?
Oh, it's getting tense.
Okay, you're in!
Yes!
Okay, now that we're in,
we can be part of the
sitting around
determining what that
strange shadowy object is,
eating some
righteous snacks,
and just discussing
things.
Oh, we do a lot
more than that.
Seriously, where is my phone?
Gus, find it!
Okay, now that you're
part of the club,
I'll tell you all
a little secret.
Iron Mike Stone is
going to do a special report
on the strange occurrences
at Daventry Hills.
Iron Mike Stone?
Like, from the news
Iron Mike Stone?
It'll be all over TV.
And being on TV is
super important to me.
Thanks to my hard-hitting
investigation,
the only speeches the
Governor will give now
are to his
cell mates in jail.
- This has been another
Ironclad report
- We're bort.
We want to bard that skunk bear
before we become an Iron Mike
story.
Thank you. Finally
someone has boarded
the Dante caboose.
Next stop is bard
in Leaksville.
All aboard, choo-choo.
Here comes the woods.
Going to the woods?
We'll join you.
It sounds like perfect
Conspiracy Club business.
[laughs]
I can't believe we wasted
a whole afternoon
looking at suspicious rocks
with the Conspiracy Club.
How are we ever gonna bard
that skunk bear if they're
always following us?
Don't worry, guys.
I know exactly what to do.
Angie, tell us what to do.
Well, if you want to get rid
of Conspiracy Club forever,
You're gonna have to
destroy them.
From the inside.
Ooh.
And to do that,
you're gonna need to learn--
the Dark Arts.
Dark Arts?
Card tricks!
That's awesome! I'm
totally down with that.
Not card tricks.
- Is this your card?
- That's a business card.
Dr. Cohen, DDS.
You have an appointment for
a tooth cleaning tomorrow.
Sweet!
I love those little toys
they give out. You know what
I'm talking about?
It's like a pacifier, like--
Angie, please continue
to be Voldemorty.
Not card tricks.
Mind tricks.
It's the ability to turn
people against one another
using only words and
the power of suggestion.
Mind tricks?
Really?
Nobody is gonna fall
for that, okay?
Probably not.
Certainly not you, Wyatt.
You're really smart.
You know what I mean?
Well, okay--
You could probably pull
something on Dante and Lyle.
Am I right?
- Probably could, yeah.
- Wait a minute.
I'm the popular one, okay?
I'm pretty sure I could
manipulate people's minds
better than a goofus
like you.
Hey, don't hate on me just
because I'm smarter than you
and a lot smarter
than Dante.
- Oh, sure. What?
- I have to agree.
Just because I got my tongue
stuck in a hair dryer
- means you're
smarter than me?
- That's right.
- Really?
- I think it does.
No it doesn't.
You weren't there and
you weren't there.
There was a hair dryer
stuck--
You got your tongue stuck
in a hair dryer!
[all arguing]
And, mind trick.
- Oh.
- Oh!
Oh!
- Now I got it.
- Yeah.
That is way cooler
than a card trick.
Do it to us again.
Hey, Julie.
I love your new boots,
no matter what Gretchen and
Natalie say about them.
They're just jealous
of my princess feet.
- Hey, nice boots.
- Save it.
Elephant toes.
First one's
on the house, boys.
Go get 'em.
Mind tricks.
[roar]
I'm the responsible adult.
I say we head towards
the scary noise.
Uh, yo, Natalie,
I know Mr. Remington
is the faculty advisor,
but you're
the real leader,
in spite of what
Gus has said.
But , listen, shouldn't you
be telling us where to go?
Conspiracy Club regroup!
This way! Come on!
Let's go. Gus, we will
talk later, mister.
- Come on.
- That way, Gus.
Come on, let's go.
- The truth is this way.
- The truth!
- Is the truth this way?
- Are you making fun of me?
- Oh, is this it?
- Are you mocking me?
- Ow!
- Gus, that was so mean!
Hot cocoa?
Please, drink up.
The pack isn't insulated
and it's burning my spine.
Whoa. Thank you.
Whoo-hoo! Piping.
You know, you have
managed to turn an
ordinary monster hunt
into a delightful
picnic.
It's really a shame
that nobody, especially Gus,
ever appreciates
your hard work.
By the way, did
you know that he's
a pine cone thrower?
Mind tricks.
Hey, Champ, having
a bad day?
Everybody hates me
for some reason.
Oh, that's not true.
It's for a lot of reasons.
But I know how we'll
get back at them.
I'll get you a photo
that will make them
super jealous.
I'm the one who has
Natalie's phone. Shh.
Guys, calm down.
Better do as he says or he'll
throw a pine cone at you.
This club's finished.
Huzzah, disciples
of me, huzzah.
The group is disbanding.
Thank you now.
Wow, the plans I'm involved
in don't turn out the way
I want them to.
Another quest completed
by Neverfail.
Now, with them hating
on each other,
- we can find and bard
that skunk bear.
- Yes!
Conspiracy Club,
silence!
I have some great news.
or should I say
great news reporter?
Hi. I'm Iron Mike Stone
and I'm here at
Daventry Hills High,
where a conspiracy
club has unearthed
but what else,
a conspiracy,
all thanks to
an amazing photo
taken by this
young boy Russ.
- It's Gus.
- Oh, smackeroni and cheese!
Take it again from the top.
Gus. Right? Gus?
Okay. Gus. Gus. Gus.
So how did Gus
get that shot?
Not a clue. I am
so surprised.
Thanks for taking
that photo, Dante.
I'm gonna be famous.
Now that's how plans I'm
involved with usually end up.
- Angie?
- No.
I think I know
how we'll fix it.
For months, residents
of Daventry Hills
have been complaining
to local authorities
about strange slights
and sounds.
I said "slights"
didn't I?
[laughs] "Slights
and sounds"! Oh!
I should have
gone to college.
Come on, Iron Mike,
turn it on. You the man!
Come on!
Show time, guys.
You in position?
Can just say
one last time
hoe much of a
terrible idea this is?
And can I just say how
unbelievably awesome
of a terrible idea it is?
Ew, I'm gonna
have to wear that
and now it's gonna smell like
wet triple Cheese-O's!
Okay, just get
yourself captured.
We'll unmask you and
everybody will think the
skunk bear is a hoax.
And then no matter what
evidence the club finds,
no one will ever
believe them ever again.
Hey, everyone,
big news! Oh!
- Oh!
- Wow.
Uh, what's going on?
Jim and Davis caught
the creature!
The snack boys caught it!
Casual move.
- That was fast.
- Good job, guys.
Good job with what?
[roar]
Help me! I don't want
to be a monster snack!
What is going on over there?
Are we taking a snack break?
Nerds!
some sort of
vicious monster.
Two brave boys put
themselves at risk
by heading off into
the woods alone.
Let's just do what
we do best.
I'm gonna panic.
You figure it out.
We need to switch
the skunk bears.
Okay, club, let's get
this creature back to
Iron Mike's van,
which has better lighting
for my skin tone anyway.
I'm gonna be on TV.
[Angie] It smells like
triple Cheese-O's in here!
[Dante] You just better come up
with a plan for the
switch, okay?
Because it's about to get
ripe in this costume!
[Angie] About to?
This thing already smells
like an armpit factory!
[Dante crying]
Okay, help me draw them
away from here.
Start howling.
[weak howling]
[howl]
I just heard another one!
Over there! You guys
should go get him.
We'll stay here and
guard the skunk bear.
I mean strange-looking
creature of unknown name
and origin.
Why don't you go get him and
I'll guard the creature.
Because you are the leader.
You, you have to
catch one yourself,
like on camera. Right?
Right!
Iron Mike, this way.
That way.
Okay, good job, guys.
Now sneak back here and
we'll make the switch.
[Dante]
Roger that, Commander!
I'm on your six.
That's under your seven
and above your five.
Hey, skunk bear,
how you doing?
[Natalie] Come on, guys!
I think it's over here!
[Angie] We would have
lost them sooner if you
could run straight!
- Get him! Get him!
- [Dante] What do we do?
[Angie] Run! Run straight,
okay? I'm getting dizzy.
[Dante] I can't,
'cause your toes are in
my mouth right now.
I can't see with your
feet in my face!
[Angie]
I'm just trying
to hold myself up!
Got my big bear stick.
- Go go.
- Hurry up, come on.
Ready?
There we go.
Go eat squirrels!
Aaagh!
Okay, come on.
There you go.
[howl]
[Dante] I think
we lost them!
[Angie] Good! Now how
do I get rid of you?
He's so gonna eat 'em.
[Angie] Why is
that thing still here?
And why is he looking
at us like that?
What is he--
oh, careful, careful.
[Wyatt] So, should we
try and stop him?
No.
Lyle doesn't get
in the way of love.
[Dante] I love lilies!
[karate scream]
Not good!
I caught him!
Did you get that?
- I'm famous!
- The camera's rolling.
Uh! Oh, awesome!
Am I on TV? Hey!
Hey, Barbara!
- [Lyle] Oh, no.
- Dante, what are you doing?
A hoax! This is nothing
but a hoax!
- Yep.
- Yep.
- Both monsters are hoaxes.
- Yeah.
Totally both of them are.
You guys ruined everything!
Who's this, huh?
Reggie?
I can't believe you'd
pull off something like this!
Oh, save it for Halloween!
Where's the zipper on
this stupid monster costume?
No!
Aaagh!
Come on, Reggie.
Show's over.
Shut it down.
Shut it down.
I can't believe it.
I thought we were on to
a real monster this time.
But it was just another
bit of fakery.
I'm getting out of here.
It stinks.
This isn't over.
This is not over!
No, wait, Iron Mike!
Something really is
going on here!
We have other evidence!
We have pictures of trees!
Wait, Natalie,
I have your phone!
Whew.
Well, that went exactly
not as planned.
- It's kind of my specialty.
- It's good.
[roar]
Yo, we better go bard
that skunk bear.
Tulte Minelli?
Wait. Where's Wyatt?
[Angie] Well, we've tried
tomato juice, vinegar,
car wax,
and none of it gets
the stink off.
But the wax did
make him nice and shiny.
That's it. I think it's time
to go to the booty box.
Yeah.
Sort of antiperspirant.
Oh!
- Uh, uh--
- This is gonna cut
the stink right off of you.
I hope that is all it cuts!
Don't worry. This thing
right here is perfectly safe.
[all scream]
Woops!
Okay, here we go