Boyster (2014) s01e17 Episode Script
It Takes a Thief; Lab Coat Party
This is the story of an extraordinary oyster.
Born from a toxic spill, he was adopted by humans with his shell brother.
And now, he must hide his secret oyster powers.
Boyster! That fall was a nasty piece of business, but using this crutch made from a gum-tree branch, I should be able to walk to the rendezvous.
Shelby, have you seen my six-color pen? - I can't find it anywhere.
- What are the colors? Indigo, turquoise, aquamarine, puce, - black and white.
- No, I haven't seen any pens.
Then why did you want to know the colors? - I was just curious.
- Ah, here it is.
What's it doing on your side of the room? - You must've left it here.
- Has anyone seen my championship rose seeds? Not us, Dad.
Hey, wait a minute.
They're right here.
Oh, so they are.
Aren't you curious how this stuff got here? Under normal circumstances, I would be.
But I'm quite fatigued.
I didn't sleep well on account of this mysterious pain in my mouth.
Shelby, this is Mom's favorite tire pressure gauge.
- Are you taking this stuff? - Don't be absurd.
I have no idea how this gizmo got in my mouth.
Though now it's out, perhaps I'll be able to rest in peace.
I say we get our homework out of the way and spend the rest of the day playing Ninja Gnomes.
Or, just hear me out, Ninja Gnomes, then homework.
- Shelby! - W-What? The correct answer is Pretoria.
Oh, Boyster.
I was having the most delightful dream.
I was in the bonus round of Are You Smarter Than - Where did all this stuff come from? - I haven't a clue.
Shelby, is there something you wanna tell me? Boyster, if you're implying that I've pilfered these items, - you are quite out of order.
- Let me handle this.
Okay, quit lying! Or do I have to get rough with you? Rafik, what are you doing? Good cop-bad cop routine.
Always works on TV.
Okay, thanks for your help.
Shelby, come on.
I'm your brother.
- You can be honest with me.
- I am being honest.
And frankly, I'm quite offended that you refuse to believe me.
But Shelby, all the evidence You and your bad cop can return to your side of the room.
This conversation is over.
I'll get to the bottom of this and prove my innocence to Boyster.
Then won't he feel the fool? I'll take inert gases for 5,000, Verne.
Well, I'll be a primate's parental sibling.
It's a hermit crab, one of nature's most incorrigible thieves.
- Boyster, come quick! - What's up? Next time you accuse someone of something, you might want to get your facts straight.
I give you the real criminal.
- A toilet plunger? - No! There was a hermit crab under here.
Where did he go? What would a hermit crab be doing in our attic? Don't they live in the ocean? If you bothered to watch Crustacean Kingdom, you'd know that hermit crabs make their homes in mollusk shells, and that they collect objects to furnish their nests.
- It all makes sense.
- Oh, come on.
- Toilet plungers and six-color pens? - Oh.
I don't know.
Perhaps this crab has avant-garde design ideas.
Is that so hard to believe? Shelby, wouldn't it be easier to just tell the truth, get it off your chest? - What?! - I gotta go to school, but this isn't over.
We really need to talk about it.
My eyes! Hey! Check and mate.
Gotta say, doesn't surprise me that Shelby's a thief.
There's something a little fishy about that guy.
Rafik, that's my brother you're talking about.
Yeah, sorry.
I wonder what else he's into.
Car jacking, embezzling? Guerrilla gardening? I'm worried about him.
I think he needs help.
Hey, why don't you go to the school counselor? - This is right up her alley.
- That's a great idea! That was a terrible idea.
Come in, Boyster.
Mrs.
Yoshinsky had a bungee-jumping accident, so I'm filling in for her.
What's bothering you? Would you like to act it out using Irene and Mark? No, that's okay.
I don't have a problem, but my friend does.
He's been stealing things and he can't seem to stop himself.
I see.
Tell me, what does this friend look like? - Puffy head, couple of stray hairs? - Eh? I didn't get the job of school counselor by being a gullible fool.
No, you got it because of a bungee-jumping accident.
Silence! It's obvious that the thieving friend - is, in fact, you! - No! You've got it all wrong! You can save your feeble protestations for the police.
Wait.
Mr.
Pluss.
It's not me.
I swear! Feel free to play with Irene and Mark while you're waiting.
I'm afraid this is farewell, young crustacean.
It's clear you mean no harm, but you've caused me no shortage of trouble.
Now to return home and straighten things out with Boyster.
Who took my bathing suit? That hermit! You, sir, are no gentleman.
I told you, our association is over.
Go fraternize with your own species.
Huh? I'm losing my patience with you.
No more Mr.
Nice Shell.
Hmph.
Hm? Gentlemen, please.
You don't want to eat me.
I'm all shell.
Camouflage.
That poor giant clam.
We should help it.
No, we shouldn't interfere with nature.
But I know someone who'd love to see some pictures.
I'm afraid things aren't so bonzer for the old commando at the moment.
I'm being threatened by a vicious predator.
Ooh, a texty.
Crikey, a trio of king crabs is hunting some sort of giant bivalve.
I gotta see this for myself.
Mr.
Pluss, please open the door.
It wasn't until the 1960's that the pocket calculator really caught on as a business tool.
Oh! Welcome to a special live edition of The Nature Commando, where you'll see the animal kingdom at its cruelest in a once-in-a-lifetime battle! The king crab is the natural enemy of every bivalve, and this big boy is no exception.
His only defense is his hard shell.
But will it be any match for the crushing claws of these whopping kings? Not likely.
Shelby! Huh? "Please help us.
Boyster's got a pair of scissors and he means business.
Irene and Mark.
" Oh, no! Why, you little Oh! Thank heavens you're all right! Huh? Ah! Shelby's in trouble.
Hey, leave him alone! Boyster.
Hey, what are you doin'? Don't stop it.
I'm loving this.
Sorry, gents.
Mother Nature's a cruel mistress.
But we've gotta let her have her way.
- Carry on, guys.
- But he's my brother! Uh, he means all living creatures are brothers.
He's an animal lover.
Oh, I see.
Boyster, you can't go around telling people that.
I know.
I panicked.
What are we gonna do? Can't you use your powers? Everyone will see me.
Unless Yeah! - You okay, buddy? - Remarkably, I appear to be unharmed.
But I don't foresee inviting any crabs over for Sunday dinner in the near future.
Ha ha.
Huh? Now see here.
These premises are off limits to you.
- Shelby, you weren't lying.
- Of course not.
Lying is abhorrent to me, as is thievery.
I'm so sorry, Shelby.
I feel like an idiot.
Well, though your IQ is considerably below mine, you're not an idiot.
There's the thief! Ahh! You're in big trouble, Mr.
Likowski.
No.
It wasn't me.
It was a hermit crab.
In all my years as an educator, I've never heard anything What in the You, get back here! Just because you're a crab doesn't mean I won't give you detention.
No.
My cheese of the month club card! My free pass to the vintage button museum! Make it a cube! No, a pyramid! A polygon, a pickle, a porpoise.
Slow down, Rafik.
This trick isn't easy.
And neither is putting up with your racket.
- I'm trying to concentrate.
- Huh? Hanging out in that online science forum again, - with all your scientist friends? - "Dear fellow clinicians, "I regret that I shall be unable to attend the annual lab coat convention" Excuse me.
That's personal.
Why don't you wanna see your science buddies? - It'll be entirely too dangerous.
- Why? 'Cause you're a shell? You go out in disguise all the time.
- No, Boyster, that's not - Ha! Check out the roller-blading cat.
- But Shelby - Please drop it, Boyster.
I am not going to that convention, and that's final.
What's he getting so tweaked about? It's not like we're gonna kidnap him and force him to go.
Hey - No, no, no.
- No.
Of course not.
But if we can't make him go to the convention, maybe we could bring the convention to him.
- Huh? - We'll hold the whole thing here.
It'll be the greatest surprise of his life.
Oh, sweet, I can make a playlist.
Rafik, it's a scientific conference, not a techno rave.
And so, the molecule says to the electron, 52.
Thank you, Boyster.
This is the most beautiful surprise of my life! Let's make this happen.
Yeah! Dear science buddies, change of plans.
The annual convention will take place at my house.
Signed, Professor Shelbosky.
- And send.
- Small problem.
What about your parents? What are they gonna think when a bunch of strangers in lab coats show up? You're right.
Let's see if that fun finder app can help.
I can't believe we won free tickets.
You know? We don't get out to the theater enough.
Get going, you two.
You don't want to miss the curtain.
Thirty minutes till the guests arrive.
Operation Lab Coat Party is a go.
Look at it.
Doesn't it just scream science party? Professor Mary Fury.
And this is my colleague, Professor Balgoof.
Boykowski and Rafikowitz, Professor Shelbosky's lab assistants! Please come in! It seems like all I do in life is go around in circles.
A thorny problem, I must say.
Now I remember why we don't - go to the theater more often.
- Yeah.
Okay, everything's in place.
Let's bring Shelby.
What's with these tunes? Is Shelbosky working on sleep-inducing sound waves? Hey, these scientists know how to party.
You invited the scientists here?! No need to thank me.
And don't worry about our secret.
I made you an awesome disguise.
Boyster, what have you gone and done? Everyone knows that if you put more than three scientists in the same room, it turns into chaos! Look at how lab coat conventions always end.
The hole in the ozone layer, and there was only four of them that time.
The New York City blackout.
Only six of them.
More than three scientists, and it's a sure catastrophe.
The worst part is that you usurped my identity on the forum.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bomb shelter to construct.
Ow! Hey, Bigfoot, why don't you learn how to do the robot? We've got to stop this party before it gets out of control.
Why? Everything is cool.
- Attention, please.
- Aww.
The party's over.
Professor Shelbosky has taken ill.
Ill, my foot.
He's just too chicken to go against me in the invention competition.
Hey, watch what you say about Professor Shelbosky! Who do you think you are? Aaron Maroon, PhD.
Diploma 5th degree in Complicated Science, tenured professor for 25 years with 73 patents to my name.
I can also do this I hereby declare this year's invention competition open.
Professor Fury, ladies first.
I'm afraid my butt levitator's not quite ready.
My turn, my turn.
Parachute swim trunks.
Gaze in wonder at my rear-view glasses.
Professor Balgoof, easy on the potato chips.
Not good for your cholesterol.
All of your inventions pale in comparison to mine.
The brain wave amplifier! - What's that, an iColander? - The brain wave amplifier exponentially increases one's mental faculties.
In the blink of an eye, I can count the number of nose hairs in Professor Gorillo's nostrils.
254,087.
Close, Maroon.
It's actually 254,086.
Very impressive, but the party is over.
Everybody out.
I'll bet you didn't know that xanthate glutamate multiplies starch cells.
Things are getting a bit dull around here.
Who's up for a bubble party?! Huh? Rafik, does this cleaning solution have lemon in it? Uh, probably not.
Phew.
If only there was a tool to stop you from wilting.
Shhhhh! Step 72, fit screw number 314 into lead panel B42.
Lemon? Oh, no! Boyster! Boyster.
Boyster! Hm.
This intriguing elasti-matter requires some in-depth examination.
Leave that elasti-matter alone.
Shelbosky.
So, we finally meet.
I'm not gonna let you sink this house like the Titanic.
It's time for you to leave.
No problem, Shelbosky.
I'll leave.
Just as soon as you come up with an invention that beats my brain wave amplifier.
Not a big lemon fan.
I can best you, Maroon, with the adhesive banana peel.
Its no-slip surface will save millions of lives a year.
Adhesive banana peel? Pretty weak tea, Shelbosky.
- The lab coat party continues! - Not so fast.
The professor's just being modest.
He has a much better invention than that.
Hmm? You sure about this? This is your invention? Some sort of children's toy? The AquaMove 3000 is a revolutionary new technique for controlling the movement of water through space.
Rafikowitz Wow! Aaron Maroon loses the showdown.
Let's see if your Aqua-Stupid can control this.
I can't take it anymore! True art always evokes a passionate response, Pythagoras.
Could things possibly get any worse? Yep.
Mom and Dad will be home in 15 minutes.
Hey, it's that iColander thingy.
Maroon's brain wave amplifier.
It could boost my powers.
Boyster, get them out of here fast.
Time for some chaos theory.
Can't.
Too heavy.
He's losing power.
Quickly, Rafik.
Grab the robot's battery from the back of its head.
It's working! Huh? Professor Gorillo, I take back what I said.
Your parachute swim trunks win the competition.
Yes! Hey! Huh? Great lab coat party, Shelbosky.
Yee-ha!
Born from a toxic spill, he was adopted by humans with his shell brother.
And now, he must hide his secret oyster powers.
Boyster! That fall was a nasty piece of business, but using this crutch made from a gum-tree branch, I should be able to walk to the rendezvous.
Shelby, have you seen my six-color pen? - I can't find it anywhere.
- What are the colors? Indigo, turquoise, aquamarine, puce, - black and white.
- No, I haven't seen any pens.
Then why did you want to know the colors? - I was just curious.
- Ah, here it is.
What's it doing on your side of the room? - You must've left it here.
- Has anyone seen my championship rose seeds? Not us, Dad.
Hey, wait a minute.
They're right here.
Oh, so they are.
Aren't you curious how this stuff got here? Under normal circumstances, I would be.
But I'm quite fatigued.
I didn't sleep well on account of this mysterious pain in my mouth.
Shelby, this is Mom's favorite tire pressure gauge.
- Are you taking this stuff? - Don't be absurd.
I have no idea how this gizmo got in my mouth.
Though now it's out, perhaps I'll be able to rest in peace.
I say we get our homework out of the way and spend the rest of the day playing Ninja Gnomes.
Or, just hear me out, Ninja Gnomes, then homework.
- Shelby! - W-What? The correct answer is Pretoria.
Oh, Boyster.
I was having the most delightful dream.
I was in the bonus round of Are You Smarter Than - Where did all this stuff come from? - I haven't a clue.
Shelby, is there something you wanna tell me? Boyster, if you're implying that I've pilfered these items, - you are quite out of order.
- Let me handle this.
Okay, quit lying! Or do I have to get rough with you? Rafik, what are you doing? Good cop-bad cop routine.
Always works on TV.
Okay, thanks for your help.
Shelby, come on.
I'm your brother.
- You can be honest with me.
- I am being honest.
And frankly, I'm quite offended that you refuse to believe me.
But Shelby, all the evidence You and your bad cop can return to your side of the room.
This conversation is over.
I'll get to the bottom of this and prove my innocence to Boyster.
Then won't he feel the fool? I'll take inert gases for 5,000, Verne.
Well, I'll be a primate's parental sibling.
It's a hermit crab, one of nature's most incorrigible thieves.
- Boyster, come quick! - What's up? Next time you accuse someone of something, you might want to get your facts straight.
I give you the real criminal.
- A toilet plunger? - No! There was a hermit crab under here.
Where did he go? What would a hermit crab be doing in our attic? Don't they live in the ocean? If you bothered to watch Crustacean Kingdom, you'd know that hermit crabs make their homes in mollusk shells, and that they collect objects to furnish their nests.
- It all makes sense.
- Oh, come on.
- Toilet plungers and six-color pens? - Oh.
I don't know.
Perhaps this crab has avant-garde design ideas.
Is that so hard to believe? Shelby, wouldn't it be easier to just tell the truth, get it off your chest? - What?! - I gotta go to school, but this isn't over.
We really need to talk about it.
My eyes! Hey! Check and mate.
Gotta say, doesn't surprise me that Shelby's a thief.
There's something a little fishy about that guy.
Rafik, that's my brother you're talking about.
Yeah, sorry.
I wonder what else he's into.
Car jacking, embezzling? Guerrilla gardening? I'm worried about him.
I think he needs help.
Hey, why don't you go to the school counselor? - This is right up her alley.
- That's a great idea! That was a terrible idea.
Come in, Boyster.
Mrs.
Yoshinsky had a bungee-jumping accident, so I'm filling in for her.
What's bothering you? Would you like to act it out using Irene and Mark? No, that's okay.
I don't have a problem, but my friend does.
He's been stealing things and he can't seem to stop himself.
I see.
Tell me, what does this friend look like? - Puffy head, couple of stray hairs? - Eh? I didn't get the job of school counselor by being a gullible fool.
No, you got it because of a bungee-jumping accident.
Silence! It's obvious that the thieving friend - is, in fact, you! - No! You've got it all wrong! You can save your feeble protestations for the police.
Wait.
Mr.
Pluss.
It's not me.
I swear! Feel free to play with Irene and Mark while you're waiting.
I'm afraid this is farewell, young crustacean.
It's clear you mean no harm, but you've caused me no shortage of trouble.
Now to return home and straighten things out with Boyster.
Who took my bathing suit? That hermit! You, sir, are no gentleman.
I told you, our association is over.
Go fraternize with your own species.
Huh? I'm losing my patience with you.
No more Mr.
Nice Shell.
Hmph.
Hm? Gentlemen, please.
You don't want to eat me.
I'm all shell.
Camouflage.
That poor giant clam.
We should help it.
No, we shouldn't interfere with nature.
But I know someone who'd love to see some pictures.
I'm afraid things aren't so bonzer for the old commando at the moment.
I'm being threatened by a vicious predator.
Ooh, a texty.
Crikey, a trio of king crabs is hunting some sort of giant bivalve.
I gotta see this for myself.
Mr.
Pluss, please open the door.
It wasn't until the 1960's that the pocket calculator really caught on as a business tool.
Oh! Welcome to a special live edition of The Nature Commando, where you'll see the animal kingdom at its cruelest in a once-in-a-lifetime battle! The king crab is the natural enemy of every bivalve, and this big boy is no exception.
His only defense is his hard shell.
But will it be any match for the crushing claws of these whopping kings? Not likely.
Shelby! Huh? "Please help us.
Boyster's got a pair of scissors and he means business.
Irene and Mark.
" Oh, no! Why, you little Oh! Thank heavens you're all right! Huh? Ah! Shelby's in trouble.
Hey, leave him alone! Boyster.
Hey, what are you doin'? Don't stop it.
I'm loving this.
Sorry, gents.
Mother Nature's a cruel mistress.
But we've gotta let her have her way.
- Carry on, guys.
- But he's my brother! Uh, he means all living creatures are brothers.
He's an animal lover.
Oh, I see.
Boyster, you can't go around telling people that.
I know.
I panicked.
What are we gonna do? Can't you use your powers? Everyone will see me.
Unless Yeah! - You okay, buddy? - Remarkably, I appear to be unharmed.
But I don't foresee inviting any crabs over for Sunday dinner in the near future.
Ha ha.
Huh? Now see here.
These premises are off limits to you.
- Shelby, you weren't lying.
- Of course not.
Lying is abhorrent to me, as is thievery.
I'm so sorry, Shelby.
I feel like an idiot.
Well, though your IQ is considerably below mine, you're not an idiot.
There's the thief! Ahh! You're in big trouble, Mr.
Likowski.
No.
It wasn't me.
It was a hermit crab.
In all my years as an educator, I've never heard anything What in the You, get back here! Just because you're a crab doesn't mean I won't give you detention.
No.
My cheese of the month club card! My free pass to the vintage button museum! Make it a cube! No, a pyramid! A polygon, a pickle, a porpoise.
Slow down, Rafik.
This trick isn't easy.
And neither is putting up with your racket.
- I'm trying to concentrate.
- Huh? Hanging out in that online science forum again, - with all your scientist friends? - "Dear fellow clinicians, "I regret that I shall be unable to attend the annual lab coat convention" Excuse me.
That's personal.
Why don't you wanna see your science buddies? - It'll be entirely too dangerous.
- Why? 'Cause you're a shell? You go out in disguise all the time.
- No, Boyster, that's not - Ha! Check out the roller-blading cat.
- But Shelby - Please drop it, Boyster.
I am not going to that convention, and that's final.
What's he getting so tweaked about? It's not like we're gonna kidnap him and force him to go.
Hey - No, no, no.
- No.
Of course not.
But if we can't make him go to the convention, maybe we could bring the convention to him.
- Huh? - We'll hold the whole thing here.
It'll be the greatest surprise of his life.
Oh, sweet, I can make a playlist.
Rafik, it's a scientific conference, not a techno rave.
And so, the molecule says to the electron, 52.
Thank you, Boyster.
This is the most beautiful surprise of my life! Let's make this happen.
Yeah! Dear science buddies, change of plans.
The annual convention will take place at my house.
Signed, Professor Shelbosky.
- And send.
- Small problem.
What about your parents? What are they gonna think when a bunch of strangers in lab coats show up? You're right.
Let's see if that fun finder app can help.
I can't believe we won free tickets.
You know? We don't get out to the theater enough.
Get going, you two.
You don't want to miss the curtain.
Thirty minutes till the guests arrive.
Operation Lab Coat Party is a go.
Look at it.
Doesn't it just scream science party? Professor Mary Fury.
And this is my colleague, Professor Balgoof.
Boykowski and Rafikowitz, Professor Shelbosky's lab assistants! Please come in! It seems like all I do in life is go around in circles.
A thorny problem, I must say.
Now I remember why we don't - go to the theater more often.
- Yeah.
Okay, everything's in place.
Let's bring Shelby.
What's with these tunes? Is Shelbosky working on sleep-inducing sound waves? Hey, these scientists know how to party.
You invited the scientists here?! No need to thank me.
And don't worry about our secret.
I made you an awesome disguise.
Boyster, what have you gone and done? Everyone knows that if you put more than three scientists in the same room, it turns into chaos! Look at how lab coat conventions always end.
The hole in the ozone layer, and there was only four of them that time.
The New York City blackout.
Only six of them.
More than three scientists, and it's a sure catastrophe.
The worst part is that you usurped my identity on the forum.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bomb shelter to construct.
Ow! Hey, Bigfoot, why don't you learn how to do the robot? We've got to stop this party before it gets out of control.
Why? Everything is cool.
- Attention, please.
- Aww.
The party's over.
Professor Shelbosky has taken ill.
Ill, my foot.
He's just too chicken to go against me in the invention competition.
Hey, watch what you say about Professor Shelbosky! Who do you think you are? Aaron Maroon, PhD.
Diploma 5th degree in Complicated Science, tenured professor for 25 years with 73 patents to my name.
I can also do this I hereby declare this year's invention competition open.
Professor Fury, ladies first.
I'm afraid my butt levitator's not quite ready.
My turn, my turn.
Parachute swim trunks.
Gaze in wonder at my rear-view glasses.
Professor Balgoof, easy on the potato chips.
Not good for your cholesterol.
All of your inventions pale in comparison to mine.
The brain wave amplifier! - What's that, an iColander? - The brain wave amplifier exponentially increases one's mental faculties.
In the blink of an eye, I can count the number of nose hairs in Professor Gorillo's nostrils.
254,087.
Close, Maroon.
It's actually 254,086.
Very impressive, but the party is over.
Everybody out.
I'll bet you didn't know that xanthate glutamate multiplies starch cells.
Things are getting a bit dull around here.
Who's up for a bubble party?! Huh? Rafik, does this cleaning solution have lemon in it? Uh, probably not.
Phew.
If only there was a tool to stop you from wilting.
Shhhhh! Step 72, fit screw number 314 into lead panel B42.
Lemon? Oh, no! Boyster! Boyster.
Boyster! Hm.
This intriguing elasti-matter requires some in-depth examination.
Leave that elasti-matter alone.
Shelbosky.
So, we finally meet.
I'm not gonna let you sink this house like the Titanic.
It's time for you to leave.
No problem, Shelbosky.
I'll leave.
Just as soon as you come up with an invention that beats my brain wave amplifier.
Not a big lemon fan.
I can best you, Maroon, with the adhesive banana peel.
Its no-slip surface will save millions of lives a year.
Adhesive banana peel? Pretty weak tea, Shelbosky.
- The lab coat party continues! - Not so fast.
The professor's just being modest.
He has a much better invention than that.
Hmm? You sure about this? This is your invention? Some sort of children's toy? The AquaMove 3000 is a revolutionary new technique for controlling the movement of water through space.
Rafikowitz Wow! Aaron Maroon loses the showdown.
Let's see if your Aqua-Stupid can control this.
I can't take it anymore! True art always evokes a passionate response, Pythagoras.
Could things possibly get any worse? Yep.
Mom and Dad will be home in 15 minutes.
Hey, it's that iColander thingy.
Maroon's brain wave amplifier.
It could boost my powers.
Boyster, get them out of here fast.
Time for some chaos theory.
Can't.
Too heavy.
He's losing power.
Quickly, Rafik.
Grab the robot's battery from the back of its head.
It's working! Huh? Professor Gorillo, I take back what I said.
Your parachute swim trunks win the competition.
Yes! Hey! Huh? Great lab coat party, Shelbosky.
Yee-ha!