Family Affair (1966) s01e17 Episode Script

All Around the Town

1
And the next time we go to the pastry
shop, do not finger the Charlotte Ruses.
But Mr. French, we just wanted to try the
whipped cream.
At least we didn't lick them.
Come, let's go.
Oh, good morning.
Oh, good morning, Miss Patterson.
Mr. French, I'm so glad I ran into you.
I have two tickets for a poetry reading
today.
Selections from Keats and Shelley.
Would you join me?
Oh, I'd be delighted.
Unfortunately, I've given my
word to take the children to
the park for what may turn
out to be a prolonged excursion.
Well, the reading isn't until this
afternoon.
I could wait.
Oh, thank you, Miss Patterson.
I'll do my utmost.
Thank you, Mr. French.
She likes you.
Nonsense.
Why?
Well, Miss Favisham and I share a common
interest in British poetry, and that is all.
Now, into the elevator.
Hi, Uncle Bill.
Hi, Mr. Gainer.
We came back to get my sailboat.
We're going to the park.
Jody's going to give Mrs. Beasley a ride.
I hope she doesn't get seasick.
Oh, Jody, Mr. Gainer's going on a real
boat.
You know, a great big ocean liner.
Hey, have you kids ever been on one?
Golly, no.
But we'd like to.
Hey, Bill, why don't you have French bring
him down to the boat?
Sure.
Would you like that, kids?
Mr. French, guess where we're going?
I know where we're going.
We're going to the park.
Oh, there's been a little change in plans,
French.
Mr. Gainer's invited the twins down to see
a real sailing.
Yeah, it's Pier 42, Hudson River,
2.30 P.M.
2.30, yes, to be sure, sir.
Bill, why don't you invite Cissy,
too?
The more, the merrier.
Hey, that's great!
Hey, Lee!
Well, tell her!
What a marvelous age, eh?
Everything's a new adventure.
To my surprise, sir, they've managed to
make my life a series of new adventures.
To my surprise, sir,
they've managed to make my life a series
of new adventures.
Oh, we're relieved, sir.
For a moment, we thought a fuddle fishing
expedition might be necessary.
You think you'll let us?
We can ask.
Hi, Uncle Bill.
Well, hi.
I thought you were with Sissy.
We were.
She's waiting for us.
Could we watch the captain pull up the
anchor?
No, captains don't do that anymore,
Jody.
Besides, you hear that?
You hear that ding-ding?
That's a tentacle.
Ten-minute warning.
Going back to Sissy.
Oh, Mr. Davis.
Sure, Davis.
Amigo.
May we invite you to dine with us this
evening?
No, no, no.
You're all going to have dinner with me.
Oh, thank you.
Gracias.
Buffy, are you sure we're invited?
Uncle Bill said everybody.
We're everybody.
Just smaller.
Well, you see, it's still possible for me to call
Miss Favisham and meet her at the theater.
Oh, I'd like to mind the twins,
Mr. French, but I promised Freddy I'd go
with him this afternoon to see the Velvet
Vultures.
Oh, well.
I could call him.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Keats and Shelly will just have to do
without me.
So will Miss Favisham.
Mr. French!
Cissy!
Uncle Bill wants to see you.
He wants to take us to dinner.
All of us?
No, just Jody and me.
And his friends.
We gotta hurry.
He's waiting for us.
Well, in that case, you will have your
velvet vultures and I my Percy Bish Shelly.
May we treat you to a taxi uptown,
Miss Davis?
A pleasure, Mr. French.
Guess what?
What?
I think Uncle Bill got off the boat.
Guess what else?
What else?
I don't think we're gonna have dinner with
him.
Guess what else?
What else?
If we don't get off, we're gonna go around
the world.
That was fun when we goodbye'd all those
people.
And we didn't even know them.
Except Mrs. Gaynor.
She looked kind of surprised.
Kind of.
Hey, look.
I think I found a dollar or something.
It's more than one dollar.
It's got a two on it.
Then I found two dollars or something.
And it's got an O in back of the two.
Two O.
That makes 20.
Wow, 20 dollars.
I wonder who lost it.
Well, we're just gonna have to go around
the world.
Go around and find out.
Remember that story Uncle Bill told us
about Abraham Lincoln?
What about him?
He once walked three miles just to give
back a nickel somebody lost.
20 dollars is a lot more than a nickel.
Yeah.
We better start walking.
I can't relax.
I'm really worried.
All right.
So you won't ruin the entire trip
worrying.
I'll call Bill on the ship to shore phone.
Pardon me.
Hello?
Yeah, ship to shore.
Put him on, sure.
Bill?
Yeah, Ted?
What's the matter?
Florence has a crazy notion that she saw
Buffy and Jody waving at her from the pier.
She says they're alone.
Look, French brought him to the boat and
he took him home.
Of course he did.
Well, if there was anything wrong,
he'd call me, wouldn't he?
That's exactly what I told Florence.
Okay, just tell her that the twins are
safe.
Look, just to relieve her mind, tell
her I'll call home right now, all right?
Bye, Ted.
Okay.
Okay.
Chestnuts, a heart of chestnuts.
Chestnuts, a heart of chestnuts.
Yes, sir.
Do you want to buy a Chestnut?
No, sir.
Don't bother me.
I'm busy.
Chestnuts, a heart of chestnuts.
Chestnuts, a heart of chestnuts.
Chestnuts, a heart of chestnuts.
Nobody wants to talk to kids.
Don't worry, Buffy.
We'll find you lost the money.
But after that, we have to find how to get
home.
That's easy.
All we do is find the street.
The apartment is on where Uncle Bill
lives.
Where's that?
Well, ask.
Everybody knows Uncle Bill.
I hope so, Jody.
I'm getting hungry and I'm getting scared.
There's nothing to be scared about.
Could I get you some refreshment,
Miss Fampisham?
No, thank you, Mr. French.
I'd prefer to hear your appraisal of the
poetry reading.
Oh, magnificent.
Oh, with a pardonable blush, I must say,
we British do have a way with the word.
I'm so glad you could join me.
Delighted.
Now, I wonder if you would join me for
dinner tonight.
Oh, yes, I'd love to.
But how long can you be away from the
children?
Oh, definitely.
Mr. Davis has the twins well in hand.
Mr.
Oui, mon petit.
Hein?
Regarde le petit comme il est Beau.
Mr. Me and Buffy are lost.
We want to go home.
Excusez-moi, mais malheureusement,
nous ne comprenons pas l'anglais.
Que puis-je faire pour vous?
Mon petit, mais où est votre maman?
Lady, please talk so I can understand.
Ce gars, c'est mignon.
Tu viens, Marthe, on est déjà en retard.
What did they say?
I don't know.
Maybe New York.
New York is a foreign country.
Jody, I want
I want to go home, too.
We walked a long way.
We should be almost home now.
Sure, if we walked in the right direction.
Don't cry, Buffy.
I'll take care of you.
Thanks, Jody.
Let's go.
I'm not scared yet.
But if it gets dark, then I'll be scared.
I'm scared already.
Which way do you think Uncle Bill lives?
I don't know.
My mother said that we should go this way.
That's baby stuff.
You can't tell directions like that.
Then how?
There.
I hope it splashed the right way.
We're looking forward to your visit to
Argentina, Mr. Davis.
We certainly are.
When do you think we'll be able to get the
power station started?
Three hours.
Three hours.
Did you say three hours?
Huh?
Oh, excuse me.
I was thinking of French and the twins.
I tried for three hours to call them from
my office.
There's no answer in the apartment.
Could he have taken them out for the
evening?
Yeah, sure, that must be it.
Jody's got a sailboat, so they probably
stayed late in the park.
They ought to be home by now, though.
Waiter, can you bring me a phone,
please?
Oh, hello, Mr. Davis.
What can I do for you?
Scotty, I don't get an answer in the
apartment.
Have you seen French and the twins?
Well, I saw Mr. French leave here with
Miss Favisham.
No twins.
No twins?
That's right.
Well, when did he leave?
Oh, about 3.30.
Haven't seen the twins since they left
with Mr. French to meet you.
That's strange.
Well, they must be with Cissy.
They gotta be.
Yeah, maybe.
Well, thanks, Scotty.
You have found the children?
Not yet.
Well, I guess there was Cissy.
Look, will you excuse me?
I want to get home and look through her
phone book.
Maybe the three of them are spending the
night with one of her girlfriends.
I'm sorry.
Buena suerte.
Buena suerte.
Buena Vista.
Whatever they're cooking in there sure
smells good.
Smelling isn't the same as eating.
Okay.
I bet Mr. Lincoln never had to go all the
way to China to give back money.
Mr.
Lincoln.
Did you lose this $20?
No lose.
No lose.
Here, present.
Go home.
We're never going to find who lost it.
Cissy.
Well, hi, Uncle Bill.
Where'd you leave Buffy and Jody?
What do you mean, where'd I leave them?
I thought they were with you.
No, you were taking them to dinner.
They left the boat with French,
didn't they?
Uncle Bill, they didn't.
I left with Mr. French.
Well, where are they?
Oh, it was a perfect evening, Miss
Patterson.
Keats, Shelly, roast beef, Yorkshire
pudding, and your company.
Where are they?
What happened to them?
Them, sir?
Jody and Buffy.
Well, I left them on the boat,
sir, with you.
You were going to take them to dinner,
sir.
With me?
Yeah, you, sir.
I'm quoting them exactly.
I must have misunderstood.
Well, Uncle Bill, what are we going to do?
Call the police.
Here.
I'm going to call the precinct.
You get the missing persons bureau.
Use Sissy's phone.
Oh.
Jody, we've been walking a long time.
It can't be this far.
Are you sure we have to find who lost this
money?
Maybe we can find where we live first.
We can eat something and go out again.
Okay.
I bet we're almost home.
We just go this way.
I think it's a shortcut.
All right.
I don't remember any shortcut looking like
this.
It's dark and scary in there.
Don't be scared.
You're with me.
Cut right through here and we're home.
Good.
Because my feet hurt and I'm hungry and I'm
tired and I'm scared and I think I'm going to cry.
Don't cry, Buff.
I'll take care of you.
It's only a cat.
I'll sure be glad to be home.
We're practically there.
You know something?
Yeah.
It's a dead end, Jody.
I wish we'd never found that $20.
I think we're more lost than the money.
Hello?
Hi.
You live around here?
No.
We found $20.
And we can't find who lost it.
No.
Where is your mama and papa?
We don't have any.
We live with Uncle Bill.
I call your home.
What are your telephone numbers?
Oh, there's lots of numbers.
A five and a three.
And a couple of zeros.
And some nines.
Sixes.
Sixes.
Only when you look at them upside down.
I take you home.
Where do you live?
On a street with a six and a two.
And it's a big, giant building.
We'd know it if we saw it.
It's a place where they don't like kids
running in the hall.
Oh.
Come.
We're going to find a street with a six
and a two.
Come on.
When did you first find out they were
missing, Mr. Davis?
Well, uh, about an hour ago.
See, we were seeing some friends off on
the
Buffy, Jody, oh, oh.
I'll call out the all-points bulletin.
This is our friend, Mr. Garcia.
Mr. Garcia, thank you for bringing him
back, sir.
Where'd you find him?
I don't know if I found them.
They found me.
They found you.
Where you been?
Can we tell you after we have a peanut
butter sandwich?
Where's Tom?
Is that all you got to say?
I was going to say Bologna, but peanut
butter's all right.
So that's why we kept walking around.
To find a man who lost his $20.
Now we never will.
Here, Mr. Garcia.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's not for money.
I do these.
No, we know that, Mr. Garcia.
Why don't you take it anyway?
Go on.
It's their way of saying thanks.
And to you and your brother, I say
gracias.
What do you do for a living, Mr. Garcia?
I'm a businessman.
I'm a stone Mason when I work.
Stone Mason?
Good.
You can work for me anytime.
Here, just call me at that number.
Gracias.
Gracias.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.
I'll see you to the door, Mr. Garcia.
No, no, it's not important.
I'm fine.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, Mr. Garcia.
Now, children, it's been a long day.
Off to bed.
You aren't mad at us, Uncle Bill?
Nope.
I never was.
Good night, Uncle Bill.
Good night, Uncle Bill.
Good night.
Good night, Mr. French.
Good night, Mr. French.
Good night, children.
Come on, I'll tuck you in.
Well, they seem none the worse,
huh?
Yeah, they're okay.
Boy, I never realized what a rough time
parents have.
Yes, sir.
Nervous breakdowns must be quite common.
Oh, would you care for some refreshments,
sir?
Right, on the terrace.
With your permission, sir, I could do with
a strong cup of coffee myself.
Go ahead.
Looks like a long winter.
I could do that on them, but I'm sorry.
Thank.
you.
Thank you.
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