L.A. Law (1986) s01e17 Episode Script
Becker on the Rox
1
Previously on L.A.
Law.
Ms. Perkins, please be so kind to tell
your firm that the next time they look to
send inexperienced attorneys out to cut their
teeth, that they stay away from my courtroom.
You're selling out the integrity of this firm
because you want to distance yourself from me.
That's ridiculous.
And I'm going to make it easy for you.
Our relationship is over.
I'm not going to bother you anymore.
Buy a lady a drink?
What would the lady be drinking?
You know how to make a Venus butterfly?
Ah, no, I'm sorry, that one's not in my repertoire.
That's okay.
It's in mine.
Your husband is involved with another woman.
You're lying.
You're trying to turn me against a man who
has never done anything to hurt me.
Unfortunately, this videotape doesn't lie.
Sweezy, disgusting, lying piece.
I totally slept with my sister.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
And saving the best for last, it is my
profound pleasure to congratulate Mike.
Kuzak on landing this firm's first Fortune
100 client, Northland Pharmaceutical.
They were sufficiently impressed with
Mike's performance in the Stacey Gill case
that they've engaged us to handle a
hundred million dollar products liability
suit, a suit brought by five people who suffered
serious neurological impairment as a result of taking colds.
I take that sometimes.
Well, these people are also taking a drug called Benadol
that's prescribed for the treatment of severe schizophrenia.
That I don't take.
And a combination of the two is what did it.
Aren't they going after the makers of Benadol as well?
Well, unfortunately, that company's gone
into receivership following a rash of
lawsuits over another drug it was
manufacturing, which just leaves Northland.
Anyway, no pressure, Mike, but a trial
like this could kick us into lunar orbit.
Well, I'm not quite ready to conclude that
a trial is what's indicated here.
Who knows?
This may be one to settle.
Well, we should have a better idea this
afternoon when we meet with Northland's
chief house counsel and two people from a
consulting firm they use called the Taggart Group.
What's to consult?
Jury selection, I guess.
What points to hammer on, what points not to.
I thought that's what they hire us for.
I don't know exactly what they have planned,
but what's wrong with getting a little help?
You didn't need any help on the Stacey Gill case.
I mean, you won that on your instincts and the facts.
As I recall, my instincts told me to
settle before the verdict came in.
Well, why don't we just keep an open mind
and see what they bring to the table?
We're adjourned.
Stuart, you got a minute?
I need to ask you a big favor.
Yeah, what's up?
I think I'm going to need some help with my taxes.
Ann, I'm honored.
You mean it?
Sure, just give me a couple of weeks,
let me get my desk cleared.
Oh.
That's a problem?
Uh, the thing is, I'm a little strapped.
I was hoping to get my refund back early.
Okay.
No problem.
You're the best, you know that?
Mm-hmm.
I'll make it up to you.
Yeah, well, I'm very expensive.
I was thinking maybe you could take it out and trade.
Sorry I'm late, honey.
It's 10.30.
My car broke down.
I had to have it towed.
It's the second time this month.
As if I didn't know.
What are you looking for?
One lousy fresh pencil.
Is that too much to ask?
Points.
How old's your car?
In dog years.
You want my advice, you're throwing good money after bad.
You want to tell me exactly what's my alternative?
Get a new car.
Rox, I want you to read through this and
make sure it's coherent.
I need it typed up before land data comes in.
Arnie, we need to have a talk.
What about?
A raise.
Rox, can't this conversation wait till later?
No.
What'd you get last year?
Cost of living, but that won't do it this time.
What will?
A hundred dollars.
A hundred dollars a week?
I don't eat in restaurants, Arnie.
I don't buy clothes that aren't on sale.
I have a ten-year-old car that spends more
time in the shop than it does on the
streets, and with all of that, I've still got
to worry about my rent check bouncing.
Rox, I gotta tell you, this is not the
year to be pushing for a big raise.
I'm underpaid as it is, plus which I
probably average four to six hours a week
extra doing your personal chores for which
I receive nothing.
Nothing?
You call my love and appreciation nothing?
Will it buy me a new car?
Okay.
Okay, look, I will talk to Brackman.
I'll see what I can do.
Thank you.
Mandetta, tick-tock.
Hi.
Hi.
This criminal case of mine, Stulwicz, I
was hoping to kick it around with you a little.
How come?
I value your opinion.
Benny Stulwicz walks into a shoe repair store,
beats up the proprietor, and takes off with over $200.
All true.
What's also true is that Benny's IQ hovers
around the mid-two-figure range.
Some lowlife he knows told him that the shoe repair
guy stole the money and asked Benny to get it back.
Key question.
Could Benny form the criminal intent necessary to convict?
Interesting question.
Good luck.
Yeah.
Thing is, this case has been assigned to Judge Fortenser.
Very bad blood there from when I was in the PD's office.
I'd hate to see it all turn on that.
Forget it.
If you were looking for another trial
lawyer, you're in the wrong office.
Isn't it a little early in your career to
be making those kind of pronouncements?
After what happened the last time out,
I'd say it's staring me in the face.
The thing is, you can't let it stare you down.
I wouldn't even dream of asking you to go into court on this
if I wasn't sure in my own mind that you could handle it.
I mean, I'm not about to try to build up your
confidence at the expense of a poor sap like Benny.
You could do the job, Abby.
I'm telling you.
Approximate the real jury you want to have at the trial.
The people will also be representative of
those you're most likely to draw from the jury pool.
Aren't we being a little premature here?
How so?
Well, I still haven't seen a file on this
case, and you're getting ready to pick a jury.
Mike, that's my fault.
I was in court all morning getting rulings
on a set of interrogatories.
You'll have the file this afternoon without fail.
I also need to talk to some of your technical
people about safety testing and FDA approval criteria.
We have five plaintiffs with serious injuries.
I need to see medical reports.
Believe me, everything's at your disposal.
Let's just run through this.
Now, when you've had a chance to read
through the file, we'll get into a huddle,
fill in the blanks, and see where we're going.
Fair enough?
All right.
Bridget?
This juror we call the former
experiential, or ex-plothead for short,
37 years old, earns $40,000 a year, married,
one child, manages a muffler franchise in Encino.
Traits would be low organizational
loyalty, tending towards cynicism.
Although he can be counted on to identify
with the corporation's objectives,
their power and size.
Whatever previously held
anti-establishment leanings he may have
had, had been more or less lost in the
conservative shift, precipitated by aging,
family responsibilities, and the feeling
of betrayal by his peers.
He's a long way from compassionate, so you don't have to be
afraid to portray the plaintiff's as whiners with this one.
Bridget.
This individual we call martyred and loving it.
53 years old, housewife, husband's income in the low 50s.
Heavy association with fictional television
characters, high personal bitterness quotient.
Her psychological pivot is greed.
She can be expected to respond well to the
notion that the plaintiff's attempt to
collect big bucks is nothing but a chance to cash
in on the kind of unfortunate tragedy life is full of.
She's also going to love your looks.
I couldn't budge him.
When I brought it, I'd be freaked out.
Rox, I went to the mat for you.
But he said if he gives it to you, he's got
to give it to every other secretary in the firm.
How much will he give?
Cost of living, I'm glad.
Here, Rox, I swear, I'm not going to let him off this time.
We'll stay on him.
And if I have to, I'll even go to Leland, OK?
Great guess.
Atta girl.
Hey, we're going to shake it out of him eventually.
It just may take some time.
Thanks for trying, Arnie.
Rox, you kidding?
You're my girl.
OK?
OK?
The thing to remember is that there's more to finding
Benny guilty than whether or not he took the money.
Benny's never been in any kind of trouble
before, Ms. Perkins.
I'm scared to go in front of a judge.
Everybody's nervous when they go to court, Benny.
You're not nervous.
Of course she's not nervous.
She's a lawyer.
The main thing is to just listen to the
questions and answer them.
Listen to the questions?
OK.
A short answer is usually better than a long one.
All right.
And we have a good case.
So I think we'll do OK.
I never been in any kind of trouble before.
It's true.
I know it.
You just get a good night's sleep and try
not to worry about it.
Put on a jacket and tie for court.
It would be better.
OK.
See you in the courtroom.
You have the address and the room number.
210 West Temple, 409.
Right.
You'll meet us at the courtroom?
I'll be there.
OK.
Thank you, Miss Perkins.
Do you really think that things look good for Benny?
There's no guarantee, but I think we have a good case.
He'd die in prison, Miss Perkins.
He'd just die.
Come on, Mom.
Where to meet her?
I'm coming, Benny.
Mike.
Good morning.
Hi.
Good morning, Mike.
Hi.
What's all this?
Oh, not to worry.
Just some tricks of the trade.
Ready for a little transformation?
Well, what I'm ready for is that huddle you promised me.
It looks like we have a very reasonable
settlement proposal on the table.
Uh, so?
Yeah.
Uh, look, Mike.
You've got quite a bit of ground to cover here.
Maybe if we just get started, then you
and I can sit down on that later this afternoon.
Wait a minute.
Yeah.
I don't know what all this is for,
but it seems to me we've got to sort
through some of the hard facts in this
case before we get down to anything else.
I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you.
Northland's not just looking for the
quickest way out of this thing,
but what I want to suggest is we've got
Malcolm and his people here, they've got
to be in Chicago tomorrow, and we don't
have a lot of time before the mock trial.
But what about the five people who suffered
massive motor function impairment and memory loss?
I am every bit as aware of the gravity of
this situation as you are.
We're not adversaries, but let's avail
ourselves of the help we're being provided
with today if only for scheduling purposes,
and if settlement's in the cards, so be it.
There we go.
Okay.
All right.
Let's do it.
We on track?
I'm out of here, Mike.
I'll call you right after lunch.
Hey there, Mike.
That's Shelly and Candy, our stylists.
And, uh, basically what we're all here for today is
to see if we can't sharpen up your instrument a bit.
And believe me, the adjustments are minor.
You see, by polling the Stacey Gill jury,
we've uncovered a few minor weaknesses.
They're all subject to easy correction.
You polled the Stacey Gill jury?
Well, that was the basis of our
recommendation that Northland engage you.
You were quite a hit, but you could have been stronger.
Really?
A few of the jurors felt you were a bit
smug and aloof, but hey, we can knock out
those characteristics one, two, three.
May I?
Yeah.
Okay.
Now, this, to me, reads sincere.
And physical and self-reliant.
No.
I think we can start accessorizing.
Mike.
Yeah, let's get some pictures.
There was one other read we got from the
guild jury, and that was youthfulness.
Which isn't necessarily bad.
Unless it impacts negatively on credibility.
There's a way of nipping that in the bud
that's real fast and dirty.
That band of gold.
This is not going to work, Leland.
What's not going to work?
I am not going to put my conscience and my
professional responsibility as a lawyer on
hold in order to serve as Northland
Pharmaceuticals' equivalent of the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Oh, back up a little bit.
I think I missed something.
I was here until 2 O'clock in the morning
last night going over the Northland file.
The plaintiffs in this case have suffered
catastrophic injuries.
Due to Northland's negligence?
Approximately due?
Approximate enough so that the settlement proposal made
by the plaintiff's attorneys makes a hell of a lot of sense.
This isn't a game, Leland.
These people suffered devastation.
They're getting injuries.
And you couldn't find 12 people in America
to sit in a courtroom and give these
people any lesson they're already asking for.
Have you taken up the settlement proposal with Northland?
Who am I supposed to take it up with?
The people I've been dealing with think in
terms of how many buttons there are in my coat.
What about Zweibel?
The consummate corporate game player.
We go to trial and we win, he gets the credit.
We go to trial and we lose, we get the blame.
Look, I know that this is a very big client for us.
But either I get to function as an
attorney in this case, or Northland can
put an ad in Variety and find themselves another spokesman.
Well, before you do anything rash, might I suggest that
you do what you have to to make your feelings known.
And if that means marching into Baldred Townsend's
office and talking directly to him, that's what it means.
Are you very busy right now?
Just getting my tax stuff.
Get your stuff together.
What's up?
It's the Stulwicz case.
In the long run, you know, you're going to
be happy you took it.
You should meet him.
He is so sweet and trusting.
Ann, if I blow it for him, I swear to God I'll kill myself.
Maybe that's a little extreme.
Don't worry, the first few are always the worst.
I've been roughing out some notes on my closing argument.
Do you think you could stand to listen to it?
Shoot.
Our system of jurisprudence recognizes the
element of mens rea, or guilty mind,
to be essential to a finding of guilt.
But where was the guilty mind in Benny Stulwicz?
The prosecution hasn't shown any to have existed.
And what you have before you now,
Your Honor, is a simple man.
A man given to trust, not cunning.
For Benny Stulwicz, there was only one possible response.
When asked for a favor by a friend.
Is this too preachy?
Sounds good.
This doesn't sound like a law school moot court brief.
No, it sounds thoroughly professional.
I'm gonna go work on it.
Thank you.
Morning.
Hi, Stuart.
You ready for me?
Yeah, I brought everything with me.
You sure you don't mind this, Stuart?
Let's do it.
You have all your receipts in the shopping bag, huh?
Is that all right?
That's the way I always used to bring it in to Irwin.
Who's Irwin?
My accountant.
Man, if you have an accountant and he knows
your history, why don't you just send it over to him?
Well, that's the problem.
Irwin is in New Zealand, and I don't think
he'll be coming back unless they extradite him.
I won't ask.
Stuart, when it comes to managing my own
finances, Stuart, I admit it, I'm just not too sharp.
Look, if this is too much trouble,
I'll try to find another accountant.
No, no, no, it's fine.
I was, uh I was just afraid you
weren't gonna be, uh, organized.
What I would like from you, Mr. Townsend, is authorization
to settle this case for between five and six million.
Joe?
Mike, I can't help but feel you're
throwing in the towel a little early.
Well, I don't consider it throwing in the towel to recognize
that Northland has an accountability for what it does.
Now, there are five people with 100% disability as a direct
result of taking cold 20 together with other medication.
I'm not about to sit here and tell you that your corporation
ought to ignore that because it's what you want to hear.
Mr. Kuzak, sounds to me like you bought
the other side's argument.
Because if that were true, a bottle of
aspirin would cost about 50 bucks,
assuming you could buy it at all.
People assume some risks in this world.
I'm not about to sit still and take a direct
hit because of some freak occurrence.
Well, you go to court on this issue,
and you could be faced with a jury award
that makes this settlement proposal look like chump change.
Taggart seems to feel differently, Mike.
Well, Taggart, for all of his dog and pony
shows, doesn't know juries.
Let me tell you something.
As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing
magical about a jury.
It's 12 American consumers waiting to be sold.
In addition, Mike, the mood of the country seems
to be shifting away from big awards to plaintiffs.
I mean, besides the fact that there's an
excellent case to be made for all,
the good Northland does, we've got five
plaintiffs that were diagnosed chronic schizos.
I mean, you could punch holes in the other side's canes.
Oh, that's great.
I'll just march into court and say as long as the plaintiffs
were nuts anyway, they might as well be paralyzed, too.
Come on, Mr. Kuzak, get in there and fight, will you?
That's what we're paying you for.
You're paying me to be your lawyer,
which is exactly what I am doing.
Since we've already got this mock trial
scheduled, why don't we wait to see what
the outcome is before we make our decision
on how to proceed?
That's what I've had in mind right along.
We're not locked into anything.
Whether this trial is mock or not,
I've only had the five minutes.
I've been in the trial for one day.
I'm not exactly prepared to go to court on this.
Don't worry about it.
Taggart's got your script all written.
They're lost forever.
A juror in a courtroom, a voter in an election booth.
They might as well be staying in a supermarket
aisle deciding what brand of mouthwash to gargle with.
Hi, I'm Mike Kuzak, attorney.
I eat cold 20 with every meal.
Oh, my God.
Can you believe this?
A sports jacket to go on the court?
Oh, they want me to be my own man,
to dispel the corporation image of slick
uniformity, kind of like one of those giant wine
companies pretending to be two bumpkins sitting on a porch.
I, uh
I think
I think you look great.
This is packaging, you understand?
That's all it is.
So what?
So you're telling me that all you're drawn
to here is the package?
Just what was it that drew you to me?
Seems like a skirt and a pair of high
heels had something to do with it.
Huh.
Package, huh?
Yeah.
And I get to unwrap it.
Benny Stulwicz believed that Ron Shaw was his friend.
We may disagree with that, but in Benny's
mind, there was no doubt.
Nor was there any doubt that when asked to
do a favor by a friend, you did it.
Rox, it's Wednesday.
Where are my shirts?
At the laundry.
Roxanne, I am walled while meeting.
It's through dinner.
I don't have time to get my shirts.
Neither do I.
Would you come on?
What is the problem?
The problem is, I can't just accept another
cost of living raise, not and live with myself.
I understand you're disappointed,
but do you have to take it out on me?
Who else is there?
Rox, come on, I sympathize, but what can I do?
Arnie, don't you think I'm worth another
hundred dollars a week?
If it were up to me, it'd be worth another thousand a week.
But do you want me to pay you out of my pocket?
That's like me taking a pay cut, is that fair?
I could live with it.
Could you give us a minute?
You want me to take a pay cut?
Arnie, you spend $100 on flowers every week.
What is going on here?
I have never heard you so, I don't know.
Assertive.
Try hostile.
I am finally starting to take responsibility for my life.
I can't be a doormat anymore.
I can't let you wipe your feet on me and then say,
thank you, Arnie, thank you for letting me be your slave.
Thank you for letting me take your dirty
shirts to the lawn.
Rox, this is not you talking.
Yes, it is me.
With a little help from my therapist, maybe, but it's me.
You're unhappy?
Yes!
What do you need with a shrink?
When you don't have a life?
When you let people walk all over you?
When the only dating.
18-year-old boys?
It is time to take a good hard look at yourself!
Rox!
Did it ever occur to you that if you weren't seeing
this shrink, you wouldn't need such a big pay raise?
What I do with my raise is my business.
Do I get it or not?
I'm gonna have to think about it.
Tick-tock, Arnie.
You wanted to see me?
Sit down for a second, would you?
Ann, I have to tell you I'm very concerned
about the state your finances are in.
Look at this.
Um, do you have any idea how much you
spent on clothes last year?
Over $7,000.
That's what clothes cost.
You don't, uh, you don't think that's a trifle excessive?
Well, that's, uh, that's why you're 36
years old and you have $540 to your name.
For example, you spent over $5,200 in
various charitable contributions last year.
Now, the Coalition for the Homeless,
I understand, but the Fund for Rare Welks?
Ann, you can't afford to be that magnanimous.
Irwin didn't think it was a problem.
Yeah, well, Irwin must have been on drugs.
Because I just went back and reviewed your
83 and 84 returns.
And?
And I can't believe what this guy did.
Worse, what you allowed him to do.
Like what?
Like taking a depreciation allowance on a
car you paid for 10 years ago.
Ann, you can't do that.
Like deducting the sofa in your living
room as office furniture.
I work there sometimes.
Yeah?
Well, I hope you aren't audited.
Because my idea of a relationship isn't
driving 200 miles every Saturday to visit
you at the women's penitentiary at Lompoc, you know?
What is the point of this little diatribe, Stuart?
Okay, the point is I want you to sit down
and do some long-term financial planning.
I want you on a budget, Ann.
Stuart!
Look, I've taken the Liberty of putting together
some investment options for your perusal.
Hold on a minute.
I did not ask you to do all of this.
Well, if you didn't revert to
infancy, the minute you started
thinking about managing, your
money, I wouldn't have to Excuse me!
How I choose to manage my money is my
business and not yours.
I should have known better than to think
you were capable of having a professional
relationship with me without letting it
become a forum for your personal feelings.
Wait a minute.
I had to spend two hours putting that
stuff in little piles.
My tax return.
I'll file it.
Fine.
Go get indicted.
See if I care.
I will.
Fine.
Fine.
Oh!
That's fantastic!
Yeah, now that reads pure JFK to me.
Young JFK.
Oh, uh, I did take the Liberty of making one change.
I hope you don't mind.
I asked someone else to play the lawyer for the plaintiffs.
What, a different actor?
A lawyer.
A lawyer?
What about the script?
Well, I thought we might get a truer reading if
we had someone who wasn't working from a script.
Hmm, I'm troubled by that.
It shouldn't make any difference, as
long as you don't deviate from the script.
Absolutely not.
Speaking of which, take a look at this guy.
This is supposed to be the plaintiff's attorney?
It's totally wrong.
Totally.
Mr. Stulwicz, how old are you?
Benny Stulwicz.
My birthday's the day after the 4th of July.
And where do you live, Benny?
On Orange Grove Street.
With your mother?
And Hogan, he's my father.
And my dog.
Are you presently employed?
Do you have a job, Benny?
Sometimes I do the grass and leaves for Mrs. Ratner.
She's a lady down the block.
And once I had a paper route.
Only the man said I took too long getting them there.
Do you know Ron Shaw, Benny?
Sure.
He's my friend.
He lets me go to the liquor store for him.
And do you remember the day you were
arrested by the police?
Sure.
Did you go somewhere with Ron that day?
I went to a store where they fix shoes.
Can you tell us why?
Ron told me the man in there had stole money from him.
Ron said he wanted his money back,
only he wasn't strong enough.
So what did you do, Benny?
I went in there, and I said, give me Ron's money.
And the guy just looked at me.
So I said it again.
Give me Ron's money.
And then the guy picked up this hammer
and it looked like he was gonna hit me with it.
So I went like this and I pushed him.
And I took the money and I gave it to Ron.
And what happened then?
Ron told me to walk home.
So I did.
And when I got to my house, there was two
policemen there waiting for me.
I never seen Ron again after that.
Did they arrest you, Benny?
Yeah, they did.
My mom was crying when they put me in the police car.
I'm sorry, Mom.
Thank you, Benny.
I have nothing further at this time.
Mr. Barenboim.
When Ron Shaw asked you to steal money,
you agreed to do that, didn't you?
He won't ask me to do that.
You agreed to get the money for him when
he asked you to, though, didn't you?
Sure.
Ron's my friend.
I have nothing further.
The witness may step down.
You can return to your seat now, Mr. Stulwicz.
Do you have any further witnesses, Ms. Perkins?
No, Your Honor.
I am prepared to begin my closing argument.
I don't believe that will be necessary.
From testimony presented, expert and
otherwise, it is my opinion that the
defendant was incapable of forming the
requisite intent to commit this crime.
Accordingly, I find the defendant,
Benny Stulwicz, not guilty.
Does that mean you don't want to hear any
closing arguments?
How not guilty do you want me to find him?
You won, counselor.
Case dismissed.
Miss Perkins, you were really something in there.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate
what you've done for Benny.
Well, I'm just glad that everything worked out.
That bastard shows up here again.
I want you to stay away from him, do you hear?
Mr. Shaw's all right, Ma.
What am I going to do?
Well, good luck, Benny.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
And you take care, OK?
Doctor,
how common is the use of Benadol for the
treatment of schizophrenia?
Objection.
Outside the witness's stated expertise, I'll allow it.
It's quite uncommon.
Have you yourself ever prescribed the drug, doctor?
Oh, yes, I have.
Do you continue to prescribe it?
No, I haven't prescribed it in four or five years now.
Why is that?
Well, because there are other drugs that attain the
same, if not better, results without the side effects.
Uh-huh.
Now, to the best of your knowledge, is that
opinion shared by the medical community at large?
Yes, it is.
Thank you.
Oh, by the way, doctor, what is your opinion of cold 20?
It's one of the better over-the-counter
cold remedies available.
No further questions.
Counselor.
Dr. Schwartz, before you would prescribe
Benadol or any other drug for that matter,
do you inquire as to what other
medications a patient might be taking?
If a patient is under my care, I expect to know
exactly what medication that patient is taking.
What about over-the-counter medications?
I'd like to know about those, too.
Do you have your patients keep logs, recording
every time they take a cold pill or an antacid?
No, I don't.
Why not?
Well, it seems excessive, unnecessary.
Isn't it because you assume the over-the-counter medications
to be safe, doctor, or it wouldn't be on the market?
I would assume them to be safe, yes.
Isn't it a fact that the reason that you
assume these over-the-counter remedies to
be safe to be taken with other medications is that there
would be a warning printed on the label if they weren't?
That would be one way.
The other being your faith in a major
pharmaceutical company like Northland, isn't that right?
Well, I've placed my faith in Northland
for more than 35 years.
What would it do to your faith,
doctor, if five of your patients were
rendered permanently disabled by one of
Northland's products?
Objection.
Withdrawn.
By the way, doctor, how much are you
receiving to testify here today?
My rate is $3,500 per day.
No further questions.
Pretty good.
Kuzak will blow him away in summation.
He wears an earring, for God's sake.
It would be easy to think of this case as
being five innocent and unfortunate people.
Against a huge, profit-hungry corporation.
But it wouldn't be true.
Northland Pharmaceutical is working men
and women, chemists, secretaries,
factory workers, truck drivers,
all working toward providing the public
with the most recent advances in pharmacological research.
All doing their part as healthcare providers.
Now keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen,
that it was risk-taking by drug companies
that brought us such modern-day miracles
as Insulin, penicillin, tetracycline,
that gave us vaccines for polio, smallpox, whooping cough.
Now Northland is proud to be part of an
industry that accomplished all of that.
The reaction of five plaintiffs to cold
20, a cold remedy that has been used
safely by millions for more than 18 years,
were freak occurrences that no amount of
research or planning could have been expected to predict.
Now, we are all familiar with the human desire to find a
villain, particularly a villain with a great deal of money.
But each of you as jurors has a moral
obligation to weigh the price.
Facts.
We may feel for the plaintiff's pain,
but if the facts indicate that Northland
could not have reasonably expected that
cold 20 would be used in conjunction with.
Benadol to the detriment of the user, then you as
jurors have an obligation to find in favor of the defendant.
I wish to thank you in advance for your lending a careful
eye and ear to the arguments raised in this courtroom.
How's the basal skin response?
Excellent.
Plus a rough body, language analysis shows
that we're hitting on all cylinders.
Jurors 5 and 10 look like they'd give it
up to Kuzak on the first date.
Well, let's just get through Clarence Darrell's
summation, and we've got what we need.
Stephen O'Neill, Ruth Hodges, Gordon
DeJanowitz, Quentin Yu, Mildred Hipolito.
Not long ago, all five were struggling mightily
to overcome their mental illness and succeeding.
The friends and the families were proud of
them, happy to have them back.
Then one winter, they along with millions
of other people caught colds.
Each of them went to a drugstore looking
for the pill that they had seen advertised
countless thousands of times on television.
The cold remedy that promised fast,
effective relief without drowsiness,
without side effects, safely and instantly
and without a doubt.
They each bought a bottle of cold 20,
went home, took it without a second
thought and had their lives shattered like
a wine glass thrown out of a window.
They will never work again, nor will they
be able to walk through a park, go to a movie.
Their existences will be maintained only
by elaborate, enormously expensive and
intrusive care, all semblance of
independence and spontaneity gone forever.
Now, Northland Pharmaceutical has told you
that this was a freak occurrence.
They have told you how careful they are,
how sorry they are.
How despite their massive advertising and
promotion to have people buy their
products and ingest them into their systems, they owe
these five people nothing but a shrug of their shoulders.
But the simple fact is that these five
lives might very well have not been
destroyed if Northland would have given
them a simple warning.
A little extra ink was all it would have taken.
While it is true, that money will never
make these lives whole again, tragically,
money is all that Northland now has to give.
At least, let it give them that.
All right.
On my read, earring was close, but no cigar.
What do you think?
How's the basil?
No.
How was he tracking?
I'm not sure.
What do you mean, you're not sure?
All right, jury number six, could you give
us some of your immediate impressions,
please, particularly about Mike Kuzak and
how you would vote?
It's a tough one.
I mean, uh, well, you can't expect the company
to babysit everyone who takes one of their pills.
Kuzak seems like a straight shooter to me.
I don't know.
I mean, uh, you know, if they'd have
received a warning, I'd say it was a tough break.
But, uh, without a warning, maybe
give them a couple million dollars apiece
and call it a day.
Juror seven.
I thought the doctor was very good.
I thought Mr. Kuzak was terrific.
But fair is fair.
These people can't even work.
What are they supposed to do, go on welfare?
I'd make the company pay.
And excuse me, but two million each is nothing
for people who have suffered the way they have.
I think they deserve at least five million apiece.
Juror number eight.
I thought Mr. Kuzak was very sincere,
and I don't mind saying I think he is gorgeous.
It's just that, well, what are you going to do?
I mean, you have to give these people some
money for what happened to them.
It's not like Northland can't afford it.
I'd give them maybe 20 million altogether.
Mr. Kuzak, can I see you for a minute?
Thank you very much.
We'll pick this up in a moment.
Mike.
You've got your authorization to settle.
Malcolm, I'm not going near a jury with this one.
Hold on a second.
This is one focus group.
The data we're getting is very raw.
It seems to me I recall you saying this
was a representative sampling, Malcolm.
Don't tell me your methods are anything
less than fully accurate.
Well, perhaps the delivery wasn't all it could have been.
I mean, the script is only as strong as
the one speaking the lines.
That's not where the problem lies.
We've got an exposure.
Why don't you just accept it?
Pay the $2 like the man says and be done with it.
It's your $2.
I'm just here to pinpoint your options.
And you do a damn good job of it, gentlemen.
Someone will be around to pick up the clothes tomorrow.
Fox, this isn't any fun.
For either of us.
Look, if you're unhappy, if you can't live with things the
way they are, maybe you ought to think about another job.
That's a good idea.
I'm gone all next week anyway for jury duty.
You can start interviewing then.
What's the point?
Can we talk about this in my office, please?
Look, uh, I'm sorry.
I was way out of line, that business about replacing you.
That's your option.
Rox, nobody can replace you.
Then pay me what I'm worth.
You are absolutely refusing to see this
thing through my eyes.
I'm sorry, Arnie.
I'm worth what I'm worth.
And if I can't get it here, then I'll get
it somewhere else.
I thought we were friends.
I thought
I thought that we could count on each other.
Your idea of friendship is a little uneven, if you ask me.
You are driving a skewer through my heart, Roxanne.
I've never been so hurt in my entire life.
Arnie, please don't say that.
I am not trying to hurt you.
Ever since Carolyn Glassman shot her
husband, never mind that I could have been
killed, I have been living with a nightmare.
I have had to wrestle with the question of whether
or not I was responsible for what happened in there.
It has been the worst two weeks of my
life, plus which I have just moved into a
new house, I am financially on the ropes myself.
Roxanne, I thought that we loved each
other, but to find out that you,
you, you have reduced our
relationship into nothing more than
a couple of lousy dollars and
all I am to you is a paycheck?
Arnie, please.
No!
Hi.
Can we, uh, just pretend that this whole
thing never happened and be friends again?
What about your taxes?
I'll figure something out.
Actually, I could forward all your docs
over to Alan Duke at Krauskopf Climate.
You'd like him.
He's your basic, uh, everything in a
shopping bag kind of guy.
Hey, Ann, I-I really feel like I have to
get to the bottom of this.
I mean, don't you care what happens to you after you're 65?
Maybe I don't want to retire.
Maybe I just plan to work until I drop.
What if you got sick, God forbid?
Okay.
When I talk to Alan Duke, I'll ask him
about setting up a retirement plan.
Okay?
Can we stop talking about it now and go have some dinner?
One more thing?
Stuart.
It'll help, but next, just taxes, okay?
Sell your condo.
What?
Given your situation and property values in
your neighborhood, it's really the best time.
I mean, the market's absolutely topped out.
Interest rates have got to go back up.
Stuart, it's my only asset.
Right.
So convert it and make a quick $60,000, $70,000 profit.
You remember what I told you about capital gains taxes?
Got all that money to play with.
Great, if I want to live under a park bench.
Well, Ann, the whole thing doesn't matter.
It doesn't make sense unless you move in with me.
Whoa, back up.
Are you saying I should move in with you for tax purposes?
No, not primarily.
I mean, you're there most of the time anyway.
Certainly not the most romantic
proposition I ever imagined.
Well, I was going to propose you move in because
because I love you.
And because you give my life meaning and joy.
And because the thought of waking up next
to you is my profoundest happiness.
But I thought if I did that, I might scare you off.
It's a big step.
Can I think about it?
Absolutely.
Okay, I thought about it.
Yeah.
Let's go home.
Previously on L.A.
Law.
Ms. Perkins, please be so kind to tell
your firm that the next time they look to
send inexperienced attorneys out to cut their
teeth, that they stay away from my courtroom.
You're selling out the integrity of this firm
because you want to distance yourself from me.
That's ridiculous.
And I'm going to make it easy for you.
Our relationship is over.
I'm not going to bother you anymore.
Buy a lady a drink?
What would the lady be drinking?
You know how to make a Venus butterfly?
Ah, no, I'm sorry, that one's not in my repertoire.
That's okay.
It's in mine.
Your husband is involved with another woman.
You're lying.
You're trying to turn me against a man who
has never done anything to hurt me.
Unfortunately, this videotape doesn't lie.
Sweezy, disgusting, lying piece.
I totally slept with my sister.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
And saving the best for last, it is my
profound pleasure to congratulate Mike.
Kuzak on landing this firm's first Fortune
100 client, Northland Pharmaceutical.
They were sufficiently impressed with
Mike's performance in the Stacey Gill case
that they've engaged us to handle a
hundred million dollar products liability
suit, a suit brought by five people who suffered
serious neurological impairment as a result of taking colds.
I take that sometimes.
Well, these people are also taking a drug called Benadol
that's prescribed for the treatment of severe schizophrenia.
That I don't take.
And a combination of the two is what did it.
Aren't they going after the makers of Benadol as well?
Well, unfortunately, that company's gone
into receivership following a rash of
lawsuits over another drug it was
manufacturing, which just leaves Northland.
Anyway, no pressure, Mike, but a trial
like this could kick us into lunar orbit.
Well, I'm not quite ready to conclude that
a trial is what's indicated here.
Who knows?
This may be one to settle.
Well, we should have a better idea this
afternoon when we meet with Northland's
chief house counsel and two people from a
consulting firm they use called the Taggart Group.
What's to consult?
Jury selection, I guess.
What points to hammer on, what points not to.
I thought that's what they hire us for.
I don't know exactly what they have planned,
but what's wrong with getting a little help?
You didn't need any help on the Stacey Gill case.
I mean, you won that on your instincts and the facts.
As I recall, my instincts told me to
settle before the verdict came in.
Well, why don't we just keep an open mind
and see what they bring to the table?
We're adjourned.
Stuart, you got a minute?
I need to ask you a big favor.
Yeah, what's up?
I think I'm going to need some help with my taxes.
Ann, I'm honored.
You mean it?
Sure, just give me a couple of weeks,
let me get my desk cleared.
Oh.
That's a problem?
Uh, the thing is, I'm a little strapped.
I was hoping to get my refund back early.
Okay.
No problem.
You're the best, you know that?
Mm-hmm.
I'll make it up to you.
Yeah, well, I'm very expensive.
I was thinking maybe you could take it out and trade.
Sorry I'm late, honey.
It's 10.30.
My car broke down.
I had to have it towed.
It's the second time this month.
As if I didn't know.
What are you looking for?
One lousy fresh pencil.
Is that too much to ask?
Points.
How old's your car?
In dog years.
You want my advice, you're throwing good money after bad.
You want to tell me exactly what's my alternative?
Get a new car.
Rox, I want you to read through this and
make sure it's coherent.
I need it typed up before land data comes in.
Arnie, we need to have a talk.
What about?
A raise.
Rox, can't this conversation wait till later?
No.
What'd you get last year?
Cost of living, but that won't do it this time.
What will?
A hundred dollars.
A hundred dollars a week?
I don't eat in restaurants, Arnie.
I don't buy clothes that aren't on sale.
I have a ten-year-old car that spends more
time in the shop than it does on the
streets, and with all of that, I've still got
to worry about my rent check bouncing.
Rox, I gotta tell you, this is not the
year to be pushing for a big raise.
I'm underpaid as it is, plus which I
probably average four to six hours a week
extra doing your personal chores for which
I receive nothing.
Nothing?
You call my love and appreciation nothing?
Will it buy me a new car?
Okay.
Okay, look, I will talk to Brackman.
I'll see what I can do.
Thank you.
Mandetta, tick-tock.
Hi.
Hi.
This criminal case of mine, Stulwicz, I
was hoping to kick it around with you a little.
How come?
I value your opinion.
Benny Stulwicz walks into a shoe repair store,
beats up the proprietor, and takes off with over $200.
All true.
What's also true is that Benny's IQ hovers
around the mid-two-figure range.
Some lowlife he knows told him that the shoe repair
guy stole the money and asked Benny to get it back.
Key question.
Could Benny form the criminal intent necessary to convict?
Interesting question.
Good luck.
Yeah.
Thing is, this case has been assigned to Judge Fortenser.
Very bad blood there from when I was in the PD's office.
I'd hate to see it all turn on that.
Forget it.
If you were looking for another trial
lawyer, you're in the wrong office.
Isn't it a little early in your career to
be making those kind of pronouncements?
After what happened the last time out,
I'd say it's staring me in the face.
The thing is, you can't let it stare you down.
I wouldn't even dream of asking you to go into court on this
if I wasn't sure in my own mind that you could handle it.
I mean, I'm not about to try to build up your
confidence at the expense of a poor sap like Benny.
You could do the job, Abby.
I'm telling you.
Approximate the real jury you want to have at the trial.
The people will also be representative of
those you're most likely to draw from the jury pool.
Aren't we being a little premature here?
How so?
Well, I still haven't seen a file on this
case, and you're getting ready to pick a jury.
Mike, that's my fault.
I was in court all morning getting rulings
on a set of interrogatories.
You'll have the file this afternoon without fail.
I also need to talk to some of your technical
people about safety testing and FDA approval criteria.
We have five plaintiffs with serious injuries.
I need to see medical reports.
Believe me, everything's at your disposal.
Let's just run through this.
Now, when you've had a chance to read
through the file, we'll get into a huddle,
fill in the blanks, and see where we're going.
Fair enough?
All right.
Bridget?
This juror we call the former
experiential, or ex-plothead for short,
37 years old, earns $40,000 a year, married,
one child, manages a muffler franchise in Encino.
Traits would be low organizational
loyalty, tending towards cynicism.
Although he can be counted on to identify
with the corporation's objectives,
their power and size.
Whatever previously held
anti-establishment leanings he may have
had, had been more or less lost in the
conservative shift, precipitated by aging,
family responsibilities, and the feeling
of betrayal by his peers.
He's a long way from compassionate, so you don't have to be
afraid to portray the plaintiff's as whiners with this one.
Bridget.
This individual we call martyred and loving it.
53 years old, housewife, husband's income in the low 50s.
Heavy association with fictional television
characters, high personal bitterness quotient.
Her psychological pivot is greed.
She can be expected to respond well to the
notion that the plaintiff's attempt to
collect big bucks is nothing but a chance to cash
in on the kind of unfortunate tragedy life is full of.
She's also going to love your looks.
I couldn't budge him.
When I brought it, I'd be freaked out.
Rox, I went to the mat for you.
But he said if he gives it to you, he's got
to give it to every other secretary in the firm.
How much will he give?
Cost of living, I'm glad.
Here, Rox, I swear, I'm not going to let him off this time.
We'll stay on him.
And if I have to, I'll even go to Leland, OK?
Great guess.
Atta girl.
Hey, we're going to shake it out of him eventually.
It just may take some time.
Thanks for trying, Arnie.
Rox, you kidding?
You're my girl.
OK?
OK?
The thing to remember is that there's more to finding
Benny guilty than whether or not he took the money.
Benny's never been in any kind of trouble
before, Ms. Perkins.
I'm scared to go in front of a judge.
Everybody's nervous when they go to court, Benny.
You're not nervous.
Of course she's not nervous.
She's a lawyer.
The main thing is to just listen to the
questions and answer them.
Listen to the questions?
OK.
A short answer is usually better than a long one.
All right.
And we have a good case.
So I think we'll do OK.
I never been in any kind of trouble before.
It's true.
I know it.
You just get a good night's sleep and try
not to worry about it.
Put on a jacket and tie for court.
It would be better.
OK.
See you in the courtroom.
You have the address and the room number.
210 West Temple, 409.
Right.
You'll meet us at the courtroom?
I'll be there.
OK.
Thank you, Miss Perkins.
Do you really think that things look good for Benny?
There's no guarantee, but I think we have a good case.
He'd die in prison, Miss Perkins.
He'd just die.
Come on, Mom.
Where to meet her?
I'm coming, Benny.
Mike.
Good morning.
Hi.
Good morning, Mike.
Hi.
What's all this?
Oh, not to worry.
Just some tricks of the trade.
Ready for a little transformation?
Well, what I'm ready for is that huddle you promised me.
It looks like we have a very reasonable
settlement proposal on the table.
Uh, so?
Yeah.
Uh, look, Mike.
You've got quite a bit of ground to cover here.
Maybe if we just get started, then you
and I can sit down on that later this afternoon.
Wait a minute.
Yeah.
I don't know what all this is for,
but it seems to me we've got to sort
through some of the hard facts in this
case before we get down to anything else.
I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you.
Northland's not just looking for the
quickest way out of this thing,
but what I want to suggest is we've got
Malcolm and his people here, they've got
to be in Chicago tomorrow, and we don't
have a lot of time before the mock trial.
But what about the five people who suffered
massive motor function impairment and memory loss?
I am every bit as aware of the gravity of
this situation as you are.
We're not adversaries, but let's avail
ourselves of the help we're being provided
with today if only for scheduling purposes,
and if settlement's in the cards, so be it.
There we go.
Okay.
All right.
Let's do it.
We on track?
I'm out of here, Mike.
I'll call you right after lunch.
Hey there, Mike.
That's Shelly and Candy, our stylists.
And, uh, basically what we're all here for today is
to see if we can't sharpen up your instrument a bit.
And believe me, the adjustments are minor.
You see, by polling the Stacey Gill jury,
we've uncovered a few minor weaknesses.
They're all subject to easy correction.
You polled the Stacey Gill jury?
Well, that was the basis of our
recommendation that Northland engage you.
You were quite a hit, but you could have been stronger.
Really?
A few of the jurors felt you were a bit
smug and aloof, but hey, we can knock out
those characteristics one, two, three.
May I?
Yeah.
Okay.
Now, this, to me, reads sincere.
And physical and self-reliant.
No.
I think we can start accessorizing.
Mike.
Yeah, let's get some pictures.
There was one other read we got from the
guild jury, and that was youthfulness.
Which isn't necessarily bad.
Unless it impacts negatively on credibility.
There's a way of nipping that in the bud
that's real fast and dirty.
That band of gold.
This is not going to work, Leland.
What's not going to work?
I am not going to put my conscience and my
professional responsibility as a lawyer on
hold in order to serve as Northland
Pharmaceuticals' equivalent of the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Oh, back up a little bit.
I think I missed something.
I was here until 2 O'clock in the morning
last night going over the Northland file.
The plaintiffs in this case have suffered
catastrophic injuries.
Due to Northland's negligence?
Approximately due?
Approximate enough so that the settlement proposal made
by the plaintiff's attorneys makes a hell of a lot of sense.
This isn't a game, Leland.
These people suffered devastation.
They're getting injuries.
And you couldn't find 12 people in America
to sit in a courtroom and give these
people any lesson they're already asking for.
Have you taken up the settlement proposal with Northland?
Who am I supposed to take it up with?
The people I've been dealing with think in
terms of how many buttons there are in my coat.
What about Zweibel?
The consummate corporate game player.
We go to trial and we win, he gets the credit.
We go to trial and we lose, we get the blame.
Look, I know that this is a very big client for us.
But either I get to function as an
attorney in this case, or Northland can
put an ad in Variety and find themselves another spokesman.
Well, before you do anything rash, might I suggest that
you do what you have to to make your feelings known.
And if that means marching into Baldred Townsend's
office and talking directly to him, that's what it means.
Are you very busy right now?
Just getting my tax stuff.
Get your stuff together.
What's up?
It's the Stulwicz case.
In the long run, you know, you're going to
be happy you took it.
You should meet him.
He is so sweet and trusting.
Ann, if I blow it for him, I swear to God I'll kill myself.
Maybe that's a little extreme.
Don't worry, the first few are always the worst.
I've been roughing out some notes on my closing argument.
Do you think you could stand to listen to it?
Shoot.
Our system of jurisprudence recognizes the
element of mens rea, or guilty mind,
to be essential to a finding of guilt.
But where was the guilty mind in Benny Stulwicz?
The prosecution hasn't shown any to have existed.
And what you have before you now,
Your Honor, is a simple man.
A man given to trust, not cunning.
For Benny Stulwicz, there was only one possible response.
When asked for a favor by a friend.
Is this too preachy?
Sounds good.
This doesn't sound like a law school moot court brief.
No, it sounds thoroughly professional.
I'm gonna go work on it.
Thank you.
Morning.
Hi, Stuart.
You ready for me?
Yeah, I brought everything with me.
You sure you don't mind this, Stuart?
Let's do it.
You have all your receipts in the shopping bag, huh?
Is that all right?
That's the way I always used to bring it in to Irwin.
Who's Irwin?
My accountant.
Man, if you have an accountant and he knows
your history, why don't you just send it over to him?
Well, that's the problem.
Irwin is in New Zealand, and I don't think
he'll be coming back unless they extradite him.
I won't ask.
Stuart, when it comes to managing my own
finances, Stuart, I admit it, I'm just not too sharp.
Look, if this is too much trouble,
I'll try to find another accountant.
No, no, no, it's fine.
I was, uh I was just afraid you
weren't gonna be, uh, organized.
What I would like from you, Mr. Townsend, is authorization
to settle this case for between five and six million.
Joe?
Mike, I can't help but feel you're
throwing in the towel a little early.
Well, I don't consider it throwing in the towel to recognize
that Northland has an accountability for what it does.
Now, there are five people with 100% disability as a direct
result of taking cold 20 together with other medication.
I'm not about to sit here and tell you that your corporation
ought to ignore that because it's what you want to hear.
Mr. Kuzak, sounds to me like you bought
the other side's argument.
Because if that were true, a bottle of
aspirin would cost about 50 bucks,
assuming you could buy it at all.
People assume some risks in this world.
I'm not about to sit still and take a direct
hit because of some freak occurrence.
Well, you go to court on this issue,
and you could be faced with a jury award
that makes this settlement proposal look like chump change.
Taggart seems to feel differently, Mike.
Well, Taggart, for all of his dog and pony
shows, doesn't know juries.
Let me tell you something.
As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing
magical about a jury.
It's 12 American consumers waiting to be sold.
In addition, Mike, the mood of the country seems
to be shifting away from big awards to plaintiffs.
I mean, besides the fact that there's an
excellent case to be made for all,
the good Northland does, we've got five
plaintiffs that were diagnosed chronic schizos.
I mean, you could punch holes in the other side's canes.
Oh, that's great.
I'll just march into court and say as long as the plaintiffs
were nuts anyway, they might as well be paralyzed, too.
Come on, Mr. Kuzak, get in there and fight, will you?
That's what we're paying you for.
You're paying me to be your lawyer,
which is exactly what I am doing.
Since we've already got this mock trial
scheduled, why don't we wait to see what
the outcome is before we make our decision
on how to proceed?
That's what I've had in mind right along.
We're not locked into anything.
Whether this trial is mock or not,
I've only had the five minutes.
I've been in the trial for one day.
I'm not exactly prepared to go to court on this.
Don't worry about it.
Taggart's got your script all written.
They're lost forever.
A juror in a courtroom, a voter in an election booth.
They might as well be staying in a supermarket
aisle deciding what brand of mouthwash to gargle with.
Hi, I'm Mike Kuzak, attorney.
I eat cold 20 with every meal.
Oh, my God.
Can you believe this?
A sports jacket to go on the court?
Oh, they want me to be my own man,
to dispel the corporation image of slick
uniformity, kind of like one of those giant wine
companies pretending to be two bumpkins sitting on a porch.
I, uh
I think
I think you look great.
This is packaging, you understand?
That's all it is.
So what?
So you're telling me that all you're drawn
to here is the package?
Just what was it that drew you to me?
Seems like a skirt and a pair of high
heels had something to do with it.
Huh.
Package, huh?
Yeah.
And I get to unwrap it.
Benny Stulwicz believed that Ron Shaw was his friend.
We may disagree with that, but in Benny's
mind, there was no doubt.
Nor was there any doubt that when asked to
do a favor by a friend, you did it.
Rox, it's Wednesday.
Where are my shirts?
At the laundry.
Roxanne, I am walled while meeting.
It's through dinner.
I don't have time to get my shirts.
Neither do I.
Would you come on?
What is the problem?
The problem is, I can't just accept another
cost of living raise, not and live with myself.
I understand you're disappointed,
but do you have to take it out on me?
Who else is there?
Rox, come on, I sympathize, but what can I do?
Arnie, don't you think I'm worth another
hundred dollars a week?
If it were up to me, it'd be worth another thousand a week.
But do you want me to pay you out of my pocket?
That's like me taking a pay cut, is that fair?
I could live with it.
Could you give us a minute?
You want me to take a pay cut?
Arnie, you spend $100 on flowers every week.
What is going on here?
I have never heard you so, I don't know.
Assertive.
Try hostile.
I am finally starting to take responsibility for my life.
I can't be a doormat anymore.
I can't let you wipe your feet on me and then say,
thank you, Arnie, thank you for letting me be your slave.
Thank you for letting me take your dirty
shirts to the lawn.
Rox, this is not you talking.
Yes, it is me.
With a little help from my therapist, maybe, but it's me.
You're unhappy?
Yes!
What do you need with a shrink?
When you don't have a life?
When you let people walk all over you?
When the only dating.
18-year-old boys?
It is time to take a good hard look at yourself!
Rox!
Did it ever occur to you that if you weren't seeing
this shrink, you wouldn't need such a big pay raise?
What I do with my raise is my business.
Do I get it or not?
I'm gonna have to think about it.
Tick-tock, Arnie.
You wanted to see me?
Sit down for a second, would you?
Ann, I have to tell you I'm very concerned
about the state your finances are in.
Look at this.
Um, do you have any idea how much you
spent on clothes last year?
Over $7,000.
That's what clothes cost.
You don't, uh, you don't think that's a trifle excessive?
Well, that's, uh, that's why you're 36
years old and you have $540 to your name.
For example, you spent over $5,200 in
various charitable contributions last year.
Now, the Coalition for the Homeless,
I understand, but the Fund for Rare Welks?
Ann, you can't afford to be that magnanimous.
Irwin didn't think it was a problem.
Yeah, well, Irwin must have been on drugs.
Because I just went back and reviewed your
83 and 84 returns.
And?
And I can't believe what this guy did.
Worse, what you allowed him to do.
Like what?
Like taking a depreciation allowance on a
car you paid for 10 years ago.
Ann, you can't do that.
Like deducting the sofa in your living
room as office furniture.
I work there sometimes.
Yeah?
Well, I hope you aren't audited.
Because my idea of a relationship isn't
driving 200 miles every Saturday to visit
you at the women's penitentiary at Lompoc, you know?
What is the point of this little diatribe, Stuart?
Okay, the point is I want you to sit down
and do some long-term financial planning.
I want you on a budget, Ann.
Stuart!
Look, I've taken the Liberty of putting together
some investment options for your perusal.
Hold on a minute.
I did not ask you to do all of this.
Well, if you didn't revert to
infancy, the minute you started
thinking about managing, your
money, I wouldn't have to Excuse me!
How I choose to manage my money is my
business and not yours.
I should have known better than to think
you were capable of having a professional
relationship with me without letting it
become a forum for your personal feelings.
Wait a minute.
I had to spend two hours putting that
stuff in little piles.
My tax return.
I'll file it.
Fine.
Go get indicted.
See if I care.
I will.
Fine.
Fine.
Oh!
That's fantastic!
Yeah, now that reads pure JFK to me.
Young JFK.
Oh, uh, I did take the Liberty of making one change.
I hope you don't mind.
I asked someone else to play the lawyer for the plaintiffs.
What, a different actor?
A lawyer.
A lawyer?
What about the script?
Well, I thought we might get a truer reading if
we had someone who wasn't working from a script.
Hmm, I'm troubled by that.
It shouldn't make any difference, as
long as you don't deviate from the script.
Absolutely not.
Speaking of which, take a look at this guy.
This is supposed to be the plaintiff's attorney?
It's totally wrong.
Totally.
Mr. Stulwicz, how old are you?
Benny Stulwicz.
My birthday's the day after the 4th of July.
And where do you live, Benny?
On Orange Grove Street.
With your mother?
And Hogan, he's my father.
And my dog.
Are you presently employed?
Do you have a job, Benny?
Sometimes I do the grass and leaves for Mrs. Ratner.
She's a lady down the block.
And once I had a paper route.
Only the man said I took too long getting them there.
Do you know Ron Shaw, Benny?
Sure.
He's my friend.
He lets me go to the liquor store for him.
And do you remember the day you were
arrested by the police?
Sure.
Did you go somewhere with Ron that day?
I went to a store where they fix shoes.
Can you tell us why?
Ron told me the man in there had stole money from him.
Ron said he wanted his money back,
only he wasn't strong enough.
So what did you do, Benny?
I went in there, and I said, give me Ron's money.
And the guy just looked at me.
So I said it again.
Give me Ron's money.
And then the guy picked up this hammer
and it looked like he was gonna hit me with it.
So I went like this and I pushed him.
And I took the money and I gave it to Ron.
And what happened then?
Ron told me to walk home.
So I did.
And when I got to my house, there was two
policemen there waiting for me.
I never seen Ron again after that.
Did they arrest you, Benny?
Yeah, they did.
My mom was crying when they put me in the police car.
I'm sorry, Mom.
Thank you, Benny.
I have nothing further at this time.
Mr. Barenboim.
When Ron Shaw asked you to steal money,
you agreed to do that, didn't you?
He won't ask me to do that.
You agreed to get the money for him when
he asked you to, though, didn't you?
Sure.
Ron's my friend.
I have nothing further.
The witness may step down.
You can return to your seat now, Mr. Stulwicz.
Do you have any further witnesses, Ms. Perkins?
No, Your Honor.
I am prepared to begin my closing argument.
I don't believe that will be necessary.
From testimony presented, expert and
otherwise, it is my opinion that the
defendant was incapable of forming the
requisite intent to commit this crime.
Accordingly, I find the defendant,
Benny Stulwicz, not guilty.
Does that mean you don't want to hear any
closing arguments?
How not guilty do you want me to find him?
You won, counselor.
Case dismissed.
Miss Perkins, you were really something in there.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate
what you've done for Benny.
Well, I'm just glad that everything worked out.
That bastard shows up here again.
I want you to stay away from him, do you hear?
Mr. Shaw's all right, Ma.
What am I going to do?
Well, good luck, Benny.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
And you take care, OK?
Doctor,
how common is the use of Benadol for the
treatment of schizophrenia?
Objection.
Outside the witness's stated expertise, I'll allow it.
It's quite uncommon.
Have you yourself ever prescribed the drug, doctor?
Oh, yes, I have.
Do you continue to prescribe it?
No, I haven't prescribed it in four or five years now.
Why is that?
Well, because there are other drugs that attain the
same, if not better, results without the side effects.
Uh-huh.
Now, to the best of your knowledge, is that
opinion shared by the medical community at large?
Yes, it is.
Thank you.
Oh, by the way, doctor, what is your opinion of cold 20?
It's one of the better over-the-counter
cold remedies available.
No further questions.
Counselor.
Dr. Schwartz, before you would prescribe
Benadol or any other drug for that matter,
do you inquire as to what other
medications a patient might be taking?
If a patient is under my care, I expect to know
exactly what medication that patient is taking.
What about over-the-counter medications?
I'd like to know about those, too.
Do you have your patients keep logs, recording
every time they take a cold pill or an antacid?
No, I don't.
Why not?
Well, it seems excessive, unnecessary.
Isn't it because you assume the over-the-counter medications
to be safe, doctor, or it wouldn't be on the market?
I would assume them to be safe, yes.
Isn't it a fact that the reason that you
assume these over-the-counter remedies to
be safe to be taken with other medications is that there
would be a warning printed on the label if they weren't?
That would be one way.
The other being your faith in a major
pharmaceutical company like Northland, isn't that right?
Well, I've placed my faith in Northland
for more than 35 years.
What would it do to your faith,
doctor, if five of your patients were
rendered permanently disabled by one of
Northland's products?
Objection.
Withdrawn.
By the way, doctor, how much are you
receiving to testify here today?
My rate is $3,500 per day.
No further questions.
Pretty good.
Kuzak will blow him away in summation.
He wears an earring, for God's sake.
It would be easy to think of this case as
being five innocent and unfortunate people.
Against a huge, profit-hungry corporation.
But it wouldn't be true.
Northland Pharmaceutical is working men
and women, chemists, secretaries,
factory workers, truck drivers,
all working toward providing the public
with the most recent advances in pharmacological research.
All doing their part as healthcare providers.
Now keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen,
that it was risk-taking by drug companies
that brought us such modern-day miracles
as Insulin, penicillin, tetracycline,
that gave us vaccines for polio, smallpox, whooping cough.
Now Northland is proud to be part of an
industry that accomplished all of that.
The reaction of five plaintiffs to cold
20, a cold remedy that has been used
safely by millions for more than 18 years,
were freak occurrences that no amount of
research or planning could have been expected to predict.
Now, we are all familiar with the human desire to find a
villain, particularly a villain with a great deal of money.
But each of you as jurors has a moral
obligation to weigh the price.
Facts.
We may feel for the plaintiff's pain,
but if the facts indicate that Northland
could not have reasonably expected that
cold 20 would be used in conjunction with.
Benadol to the detriment of the user, then you as
jurors have an obligation to find in favor of the defendant.
I wish to thank you in advance for your lending a careful
eye and ear to the arguments raised in this courtroom.
How's the basal skin response?
Excellent.
Plus a rough body, language analysis shows
that we're hitting on all cylinders.
Jurors 5 and 10 look like they'd give it
up to Kuzak on the first date.
Well, let's just get through Clarence Darrell's
summation, and we've got what we need.
Stephen O'Neill, Ruth Hodges, Gordon
DeJanowitz, Quentin Yu, Mildred Hipolito.
Not long ago, all five were struggling mightily
to overcome their mental illness and succeeding.
The friends and the families were proud of
them, happy to have them back.
Then one winter, they along with millions
of other people caught colds.
Each of them went to a drugstore looking
for the pill that they had seen advertised
countless thousands of times on television.
The cold remedy that promised fast,
effective relief without drowsiness,
without side effects, safely and instantly
and without a doubt.
They each bought a bottle of cold 20,
went home, took it without a second
thought and had their lives shattered like
a wine glass thrown out of a window.
They will never work again, nor will they
be able to walk through a park, go to a movie.
Their existences will be maintained only
by elaborate, enormously expensive and
intrusive care, all semblance of
independence and spontaneity gone forever.
Now, Northland Pharmaceutical has told you
that this was a freak occurrence.
They have told you how careful they are,
how sorry they are.
How despite their massive advertising and
promotion to have people buy their
products and ingest them into their systems, they owe
these five people nothing but a shrug of their shoulders.
But the simple fact is that these five
lives might very well have not been
destroyed if Northland would have given
them a simple warning.
A little extra ink was all it would have taken.
While it is true, that money will never
make these lives whole again, tragically,
money is all that Northland now has to give.
At least, let it give them that.
All right.
On my read, earring was close, but no cigar.
What do you think?
How's the basil?
No.
How was he tracking?
I'm not sure.
What do you mean, you're not sure?
All right, jury number six, could you give
us some of your immediate impressions,
please, particularly about Mike Kuzak and
how you would vote?
It's a tough one.
I mean, uh, well, you can't expect the company
to babysit everyone who takes one of their pills.
Kuzak seems like a straight shooter to me.
I don't know.
I mean, uh, you know, if they'd have
received a warning, I'd say it was a tough break.
But, uh, without a warning, maybe
give them a couple million dollars apiece
and call it a day.
Juror seven.
I thought the doctor was very good.
I thought Mr. Kuzak was terrific.
But fair is fair.
These people can't even work.
What are they supposed to do, go on welfare?
I'd make the company pay.
And excuse me, but two million each is nothing
for people who have suffered the way they have.
I think they deserve at least five million apiece.
Juror number eight.
I thought Mr. Kuzak was very sincere,
and I don't mind saying I think he is gorgeous.
It's just that, well, what are you going to do?
I mean, you have to give these people some
money for what happened to them.
It's not like Northland can't afford it.
I'd give them maybe 20 million altogether.
Mr. Kuzak, can I see you for a minute?
Thank you very much.
We'll pick this up in a moment.
Mike.
You've got your authorization to settle.
Malcolm, I'm not going near a jury with this one.
Hold on a second.
This is one focus group.
The data we're getting is very raw.
It seems to me I recall you saying this
was a representative sampling, Malcolm.
Don't tell me your methods are anything
less than fully accurate.
Well, perhaps the delivery wasn't all it could have been.
I mean, the script is only as strong as
the one speaking the lines.
That's not where the problem lies.
We've got an exposure.
Why don't you just accept it?
Pay the $2 like the man says and be done with it.
It's your $2.
I'm just here to pinpoint your options.
And you do a damn good job of it, gentlemen.
Someone will be around to pick up the clothes tomorrow.
Fox, this isn't any fun.
For either of us.
Look, if you're unhappy, if you can't live with things the
way they are, maybe you ought to think about another job.
That's a good idea.
I'm gone all next week anyway for jury duty.
You can start interviewing then.
What's the point?
Can we talk about this in my office, please?
Look, uh, I'm sorry.
I was way out of line, that business about replacing you.
That's your option.
Rox, nobody can replace you.
Then pay me what I'm worth.
You are absolutely refusing to see this
thing through my eyes.
I'm sorry, Arnie.
I'm worth what I'm worth.
And if I can't get it here, then I'll get
it somewhere else.
I thought we were friends.
I thought
I thought that we could count on each other.
Your idea of friendship is a little uneven, if you ask me.
You are driving a skewer through my heart, Roxanne.
I've never been so hurt in my entire life.
Arnie, please don't say that.
I am not trying to hurt you.
Ever since Carolyn Glassman shot her
husband, never mind that I could have been
killed, I have been living with a nightmare.
I have had to wrestle with the question of whether
or not I was responsible for what happened in there.
It has been the worst two weeks of my
life, plus which I have just moved into a
new house, I am financially on the ropes myself.
Roxanne, I thought that we loved each
other, but to find out that you,
you, you have reduced our
relationship into nothing more than
a couple of lousy dollars and
all I am to you is a paycheck?
Arnie, please.
No!
Hi.
Can we, uh, just pretend that this whole
thing never happened and be friends again?
What about your taxes?
I'll figure something out.
Actually, I could forward all your docs
over to Alan Duke at Krauskopf Climate.
You'd like him.
He's your basic, uh, everything in a
shopping bag kind of guy.
Hey, Ann, I-I really feel like I have to
get to the bottom of this.
I mean, don't you care what happens to you after you're 65?
Maybe I don't want to retire.
Maybe I just plan to work until I drop.
What if you got sick, God forbid?
Okay.
When I talk to Alan Duke, I'll ask him
about setting up a retirement plan.
Okay?
Can we stop talking about it now and go have some dinner?
One more thing?
Stuart.
It'll help, but next, just taxes, okay?
Sell your condo.
What?
Given your situation and property values in
your neighborhood, it's really the best time.
I mean, the market's absolutely topped out.
Interest rates have got to go back up.
Stuart, it's my only asset.
Right.
So convert it and make a quick $60,000, $70,000 profit.
You remember what I told you about capital gains taxes?
Got all that money to play with.
Great, if I want to live under a park bench.
Well, Ann, the whole thing doesn't matter.
It doesn't make sense unless you move in with me.
Whoa, back up.
Are you saying I should move in with you for tax purposes?
No, not primarily.
I mean, you're there most of the time anyway.
Certainly not the most romantic
proposition I ever imagined.
Well, I was going to propose you move in because
because I love you.
And because you give my life meaning and joy.
And because the thought of waking up next
to you is my profoundest happiness.
But I thought if I did that, I might scare you off.
It's a big step.
Can I think about it?
Absolutely.
Okay, I thought about it.
Yeah.
Let's go home.