Petticoat Junction (1963) s01e17 Episode Script
My Daughter the Doctor
1
Come ride the little train ♪
That is rollin' down the tracks to the Junction ♪
Forget about your cares ♪
It is time to relax at the Junction ♪
Lots of curves, you bet ♪
And even more when you get ♪
To the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
And that's Uncle Joe, he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
At the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction! ♪
Step to the left, to the right ♪
Then hop with your partner ♪
That's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Three to the left, to the right ♪
Then hop with your partner ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Lots of fun to do, it's a step that's new ♪
Just a hop, hop ♪
Called the Hooterville Hop ♪
Form in a line ♪
Any way is fine when you hop, hop ♪
To the Hooterville Hop ♪
You can dance with two ♪
Three or four will do when you hop, hop ♪
To the Hooterville Hop ♪
It's a brand-new step full of vim and pep ♪
Just a hop, hop ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop! ♪
Hi, kids.
Where's Billie?
Oh, hi, Ma, you know Paul Henderson.
Oh, sure. Hi, Paul.
Hi, Mrs. Bradley. Where's Billie Jo?
Mom, this is a new dance Paul's dreamed up.
He calls it the Hooterville Hop.
W-Where's Billie Jo?
All the kids are learning it for the school dance.
Come on, Mrs. Bradley, it's real easy.
Yeah, come on. Oh, n-n-n-n-no!
Wait a minute, this letter is very important.
I got to find Billie Jo.
Now, where is she?
Come on, Ma, you're getting it.
Great, Mrs. Bradley.
Mom, that's it, you've got it.
I have? Yeah.
I don't want it; I want Billie Jo.
Now, where is she?
She's outside somewhere with Junior Hocker.
They went down to the lake to practice.
Practice what? Archery.
You know, bows and arrows.
Paul, do me a favor.
Run down to the lake and bring her back.
I've got the most wonderful surprise for her.
Sure, Mrs. Bradley.
Mom, what is it?
Come on over here, sit down, I'll tell you all about it.
Your sister Billie Jo is going to be a doctor.
Doctor?
Billie Jo?
The blonde bombshell?
Betty.
Hooterville's own Tuesday Weld?
Bobbie.
Miss Built Best from Shady Rest?
Now, that's enough.
Your sister Billie Jo happens
to have a beautiful face and a curvy figure.
So what's wrong with that?
Nothing, that's great.
Especially if you're a girl.
But a doctor?
Could you two high school know-it-alls
bear to let your mother talk for a minute?
Sure, Mom. Sorry.
Well, before you girls were born
In fact, the day before Billie Jo was born
Your father, rest his soul,
took out an endowment policy
to send his son to medical school.
Son?
Like all men, he was convinced
that his first child was going to be a boy.
He had his name and his career all picked out.
William Junior, Dr. Bill Bradley.
Gee, I'll bet Dad was disappointed
when Billie turned out to be a girl.
Not after he saw her.
Then, he was the proudest father in this whole valley.
And then when we were expecting you, Bobbie Jo,
the same thing started all over again,
only now it was Robert, Dr. Bob Bradley.
And I had to go and let him down again.
Boy, he must have really flipped when I showed up.
No.
Your father loved all of you with all his heart.
Why, he wouldn't have traded you three girls
for the Mayo Brothers.
Why all the talk about Billie Jo becoming a doctor?
Well, when Bill, your father,
saw for himself that he had an all-girl family,
he went back to his original plan
of sending his first child to medical school.
I remember when Billie Jo was yea high.
He used to introduce her as "my daughter the doctor."
Hey, Mrs. Bradley, is Billie Jo ever a natural for archery.
Junior says I have almost perfect form already.
Uh, yeah.
You look great, Doc.
Nice going, Willie Boy.
Doc? Willie Boy?
Pay no attention to these high school cutups.
Billie Jo, I've got the most marvelous surprise for you.
Look at this check. For me?
From an endowment policy
your father took out for you.
$500?!
Mom, that means I can do what I've been planning
and dreaming about for so long.
That's right.
I can go to Hollywood!
Yeah.
What? Yahoo!
Hey, hey, Paul, hey, uh, there are two over there.
This one's mine.
You dreamer.
Junior? Yeah.
No, no, I don't want to dance.
I want to talk to Billie Jo.
Billie, the last thing in the world your father'd want
is to make you do something against your will,
but it was his last wish,
so give it a lot of consideration.
Of course I will, Mom.
But I have to be honest and tell you
that what I really want to do
is go to Hollywood and become an actress.
Oh, Mom, just think of meeting Rock Hudson
or even playing a love scene with him.
Honey, every year, thousands of girls go to Hollywood
to try and be actresses
Young, beautiful, talented, just like you
And most of 'em come back home broken-hearted,
or what's even worse They stay there broken-hearted.
But some of them make it.
Somebody has to play opposite Rock Hudson,
and maybe I'll be the one.
Maybe I'll become famous.
Baby And when I do,
I'll send for you, Mom
You and Bobbie and Betty and Uncle Joe
And you won't have to work anymore.
Why, you can come live with me in Hollywood.
Billie What's this about Hollywood?
Uncle Joe, look what I got.
It's from that endowment policy Bill took out.
$500?
You know what she wants to do with it?
She wants to go to Hollywood and try and be an actress.
Billie Jo, Hollywood's no place
for a young, innocent girl like you.
You see?
Why, them wolves'd be after you the minute you got there.
That's right.
Oh, they might promise you they'd get you into pictures,
but dollars to donuts
you'd never see the inside of a studio.
Oh, honey, I'd be worried out of my mind.
Sure, she would.
You can stop worrying, Kate.
I'll go to Hollywood with her and be her manager.
Oh, Uncle Joe.
Eh Uncle Joe.
Hi, Floyd.
Hi, Kate. Going shopping?
No, I'm going in to see Dr. Depew.
You ain't sick, are you?
Oh, no.
I'm hoping to get the doc
to come out and talk to Billie Jo.
Board! Let her roll, Charley!
Can't you see I'm oiling the journals, smoke-head?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
We're oiling the journals, ladies.
I'll have to take back that "Board!"
For a couple of minutes.
Floyd.
Where did all the women come from?
Pixley they're all going in to Doc Depew's office, too.
But what's wrong with the doctor in Pixley?
He ain't young, single, and good-looking.
Neither is Doc Depew.
No, but his young assistant sure is
Young city doctor, name of Harris.
Real handsome, huh?
Kate, I hear he don't even have
to tell the women to say "Ah."
They say it the minute they see him.
No fooling.
Kind of Rock Hudson type, huh?
Who's he?
Never mind, Floyd.
Sit down.
I'd like to tell you about my daughter the doctor.
Hello, Do-Doc Depew?
This is Kate Bradley.
No there's nothing wrong.
I-I hear you have a real handsome new assistant.
I know he's too young for me.
I want him to come out to Shady Rest
and get Billie Jo interested in medical school.
She wants to go to Hollywood.
Tell him it's an emergency
A real puzzling case you can't figure out.
And you won't be lying 'cause I'm thinking of Uncle Joe.
Oh, wonderful.
The boys are turning the train around,
so send him right down to the station.
Yeah. Bye.
Dr. Harris?
Yes.
My, my.
I beg your pardon.
My, um, my uncle is very sick.
Oh, you must be the Mrs. Bradley
Dr. Depew told me about.
Yes.
Let's get aboard, shall we?
Now, y-you go sit down, Doctor, I'll be right back.
Let her go, Charley.
Oh, look out there.
Isn't that interesting?
What's so interesting?
It's gone now.
Well, tell me about your uncle.
If he's got Dr. Depew puzzled, he must be quite a case.
Oh, he is quite a case.
I was, um, I was hoping that you and, uh,
my daughter could have a consultation about him.
You have a daughter who's a doctor?
Well, not yet, but I have great hopes for her.
Especially now.
Dr. Depew tells me that you have three daughters,
all of them beautiful. Mm-hmm.
Billie Jo is the beautiful daughter
that's interested in doctors.
Becoming one.
Good for her.
Most beautiful girls these days
just seem to be interested
in going to Hollywood and becoming actresses.
Isn't it the truth?
But I'm sure that you'll encourage Billie
to go to medical school.
Well, if she hopes to become a doctor,
I can recommend it highly.
Come on, Uncle Joe, hop a little higher.
You look great. Come on, Uncle Joe.
Take it easy, kids, there's more of me to hop.
I think I'd better go out in the kitchen and take on
some of that high-protein energy-building food
like your ma's lemon meringue pie.
All right for Shady Rest Hotel, Doctor.
Oh, uh what happened to Mrs. Bradley?
Oh, she had to rush some supplies up to the hotel.
Said for me and Charley to bring you along in a little bit.
Oh, that won't be necessary.
I can find my own way.
Kate wants me and Charley to hold you up a little.
Hold me up?
Climbing the path to the hotel.
It gets a little slippery this time of year.
Is that what she meant?
Yeah. Yeah.
Stop the dancing.
Quick, stop the dancing.
Have some respect for the sick.
Who's sick?
Uncle Joe. Where is he?
In the kitchen, loading up on pie.
Oh, well, everybody sit down and look worried,
because the doctor's coming to examine Uncle Joe.
But, Mom, he was just
And you, Billie Jo, you look worried but beautiful.
What gives? I don't know.
It sounds like it's gonna be Dullsville.
Hey, Billie, let's cut out, huh?
I'm with you.
Uncle Joe,
I got to ask you a quick, serious question.
Anybody that can make pie this good can ask me anything.
Shoot.
If you and Billie Jo ran out of money
and got stranded in Hollywood,
could you support her by acting?
Easy.
I got acting in my blood.
That's where Billie Jo gets it.
Well, c-can I be sure about it?
Could I give you a test? Of course.
Throw me a scene from Shakespeare; I'll eat it up.
Which is more than I'm getting
to do with this piece of pie.
Well, never mind Shakespeare.
I got a better test.
Can you convince a young city doctor
that you're really sick?
Easy as pie.
I'll take that back; Pie ain't so easy around here.
Good. Now, you hurry up the back stairs
and hop into bed.
Please, Kate, don't ask me to hop.
I'm all hopped out. Now, hurry.
Can I take my piece of pie with me?
You do a convincing job on that doctor,
and I'll serve you a whole pie in bed.
Look out, Spencer Tracy, here comes "Actin' Joe Carson."
Come on.
Hmm This is a puzzling case.
How long have these dizzy spells been occurring?
A year. A week.
How long?
A year and a week exactly.
Well, that's a long time.
Why haven't you told Dr. Depew about this?
Well, I haven't really noticed the dizzy spells,
on account of the fierce stabbing pain in my arm.
Ooh! Ooh!
Where does the pain seem to be?
Mostly on the inside.
You take any medication for the pain?
No; I only notice it when my knee stops throbbing.
Your knee bothers you, too?
Oh, terrible.
It's almost as bad as my back.
You also have a bad back?
Doc, I'm just one big mass of misery.
You certainly are.
Arm, knee, back, dizzy spells.
How do you ever get any work done?
Grit.
Sheer grit.
Dr. Harris, uh, I'll go get my daughter Billie Jo,
so you two can have your consultation.
Well, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to give your uncle
quite a thorough examination.
Perhaps you'd better wait downstairs
until I Oh. All right.
We'll be anxious to talk to you,
my daughter Billie and me.
Uncle Joe, remember how to act.
He, uh, gets out of hand sometimes.
Don't worry about me, Kate.
Just have that pie ready.
I don't believe we should eat any pie.
Well, I wasn't planning on sharing it with you, Doc.
What I meant was you're gonna
have to start losing some weight.
Losing some weight? Where from?
It's all solid muscle.
Open your mouth.
Wide.
Stick out your tongue.
Further.
Little further.
That's all the tongue I got, Doc.
From there on back is throat.
Charley, maybe you better stop hopping.
It's kind of shaking the upstairs.
I'm real glad to have an excuse to stop.
Where's Billie Jo?
Oh, she and Junior went back to the lake.
Oh, no! She's got to be here when Dr. Harris comes down.
I'll get her back for you, Kate.
Well, see if you can get her back without Junior.
Okay. Come on, Kate,
do the Hooterville Hop with us kids.
Sure, Mom. You're coming to the high school dance.
Oh, we'll be so proud of you, Mom.
You'll be the only mother who knows the Hop.
Well, all right, but let's hop quiet.
Dr. Harris.
I'm glad to see you not worried about your uncle.
I'll be running along.
Oh, but I am worried, awful worried.
W-We're all worried.
Well, dancing's a good way to relieve tension.
Oh, no, no, we weren't dancing.
No? What do you call it?
The Hooterville Hop.
This young fella started it.
It's spreading like wildfire.
It's a terrible disease.
Disease?
Makes your foot muscles twitch.
You hop like crazy.
I think you better quarantine the hotel.
Mrs. Bradley, I'd love to meet your daughter,
but I have a lot of paperwork waiting for me at the office.
Well, Doctor, she'll be back in just a second.
I got everybody out looking for her.
And I do so want you to help her
pick out the medical school she should go to.
Well, why don't we make it next time.
Next time, it might be too late.
Why, she'll be running off to
Holly would you like some tea?
Uh, no thank you.
I've really got to get back to Hooterville. Well
We've looked everywhere for Billie Jo, Mom.
There's no sign of her yet.
Uh, suppose we do make it next time.
Oh! Betty Jo, you show the doctor
how your poison ivy has spread.
Spread? Where?
It's practically gone.
Take a quick look at her, Doctor, huh?
Show the doctor your leg, dear.
All right, Mrs. Bradley, if it'll make you feel better.
Oh, Mother, for heaven's sake.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm afraid I'm too late, Mrs. Bradley.
You mean it's serious?
No, it's gone.
Well, how about, how about the other leg?
Uh, very pretty; They make a nice pair.
Doctor, I hate to hold you up like this,
but as long as you're here,
I wonder if you'd take a look at my foot.
I-I've had this terrible pain.
You have?
Yes, I have.
And you run along about your business.
And you know what that is.
All right, what seems to be the trouble?
Well, I don't rightly know, Doctor.
The pain seems to come and go.
Well, if you'll take off your shoe,
we'll see what we can find.
Oh, thank you, Doctor.
Where does it seem to hurt?
Uh, on the bottom, in the middle.
Does this hurt?
Tickles, Doctor.
It, uh
it tickles and it hurts is what it does.
Well, it didn't seem to hurt you when you were
jumping up and down and hopping a few minutes ago.
Well, uh, it, uh, it doesn't hurt when I hop,
it's just when I walk and
then I limp all over the place.
Well, you're doing the right
thing for it, just what I'd do.
Oh, really?
Yes, if I had a sore foot, I think I'd limp, too.
Well, don't you want me to do anything for it but limp?
Well, you can soak it in some, uh, hot water
and some Epsom salts, and
that should take care of the trouble.
Anything else?
Uh, let me see, now
Well, if you think of anything else, Mrs. Bradley,
uh, you just drop by the office.
Uh Good-bye.
I think I got something in my eye!
All right, Mrs. Bradley, let me take a look.
Well, look who's here.
My daughter Billie Jo the doctor.
What?
Uh, m-my daughter Billie Jo the doctor.
Dr. Clayton Harris.
How do you do, Doctor? How do you do?
Somebody sick?
Your Uncle Joe again. Again?
It's getting to be a terrible problem, isn't it?
Now, Billie Jo, I know you're anxious
to get upstairs and see your poor sick uncle.
And Dr. Harris will go with you.
And you can watch while he takes Uncle Joe's pulse
and temperature and blood pressure
and things like that. I've done all that.
But not for Billie Jo.
She's never seen a real doctor
make a real examination on a real patient.
That's the real truth.
Well, I suppose there are
a couple of other tests I could run.
Oh, wonderful!
If there ain't nothing serious wrong with me,
why are you back up here
getting ready to do all these things?
Just routine.
Uh, besides, this young lady wanted to see.
What for?
Last look, is that it?
Oh, Uncle Joe, calm down.
How do you feel? Terrible.
Kate, Kate, I was thinking
You better get the rest of them
up here to tell me good-bye.
Doc, level with me.
How much time have I got?
Now you're getting yourself all worked up over nothing.
Miss Bradley Mm-hmm.
This will be a good illustration
of how nervous tension can elevate blood pressure.
When I took his pressure before, it was normal.
Now we'll see to what extent
his anxiety has increased the pressure.
Isn't this thrilling?
Fine niece.
I'm dying and your thrilled.
Doctor, could Billie please do that?
Certainly.
Mom
Squeeze the bulb, just like the doctor, huh?
Get the feel of it; You might like it.
Well, that proves I'm a goner.
Letting amateurs practice on me.
Now observe.
This higher reading is the systolic pressure.
And this is the diastolic.
And I was right, it is relatively elevated.
Kate, get me a pencil and paper.
I want to dictate my last will and testament.
Calm down.
Now we'll try a hemoglobin determination.
Billie Jo, isn't this exciting?
Well, sort of.
Go ahead, Doctor, you're doing just fine.
First, we'll extract a little blood.
From who? From you.
Now this is pure alcohol.
Great, I can use a slug.
Now if you'll moisten some cotton with the alcohol
and cleanse the end of his middle finger.
Ooh!
Doctor, look!
Look, she's a natural-born finger cleanser.
Oh, I'm gonna go get her sisters.
They just got to see the way
this girl has taken to medicine.
Now, hold on, Doc, be careful with that harpoon.
Ow!
There, that didn't hurt us.
Then how come one of us yelled "Ow"?
Now, if you'll hold this hemoglobinometer
we'll collect some blood between these
sterile glass slides
and insert them in the hemoglobinometer.
Miss Bradley? Miss Bradley?
Hurry up, girls, I want you to see
your sister the doctor in action.
Where is she?
She's right there on the floor.
On the floor?!
What happened, Doctor?
She fainted at the first sight of blood.
Oh, no.
Wake up, Doc.
Snap out of it, will you? You're wanted in surgery.
Oh, stop teasing her.
Come on, wake up, Billie.
Oh.
I wonder if Dr.Schweitzer's mother had this trouble.
How can you dance down here when my life's ebbing away?
Doc, please give me back that blood.
I need it.
Oh, Uncle Joe, I was just gonna bring your pie up to you.
I can't eat pie.
I'm at death's door.
Well, I'll just take it back.
Just a minute.
I need strength.
Maybe I can force down a bite or two.
Might get me through the night
so I can see another sunrise.
How's she doing, Doctor?
Fine. She hasn't fainted once.
You sure have picked up the Hooterville Hop.
Thanks. It's the greatest disease I ever danced.
Fine family and friends I've got.
Not one of them cares that I'm passing on.
Wonder if there's any more pie in the kitchen.
This has been a Filmways presentation.
Come ride the little train ♪
That is rollin' down the tracks to the Junction ♪
Forget about your cares ♪
It is time to relax at the Junction ♪
Lots of curves, you bet ♪
And even more when you get ♪
To the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
And that's Uncle Joe, he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
At the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction! ♪
Step to the left, to the right ♪
Then hop with your partner ♪
That's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Three to the left, to the right ♪
Then hop with your partner ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Lots of fun to do, it's a step that's new ♪
Just a hop, hop ♪
Called the Hooterville Hop ♪
Form in a line ♪
Any way is fine when you hop, hop ♪
To the Hooterville Hop ♪
You can dance with two ♪
Three or four will do when you hop, hop ♪
To the Hooterville Hop ♪
It's a brand-new step full of vim and pep ♪
Just a hop, hop ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop! ♪
Hi, kids.
Where's Billie?
Oh, hi, Ma, you know Paul Henderson.
Oh, sure. Hi, Paul.
Hi, Mrs. Bradley. Where's Billie Jo?
Mom, this is a new dance Paul's dreamed up.
He calls it the Hooterville Hop.
W-Where's Billie Jo?
All the kids are learning it for the school dance.
Come on, Mrs. Bradley, it's real easy.
Yeah, come on. Oh, n-n-n-n-no!
Wait a minute, this letter is very important.
I got to find Billie Jo.
Now, where is she?
Come on, Ma, you're getting it.
Great, Mrs. Bradley.
Mom, that's it, you've got it.
I have? Yeah.
I don't want it; I want Billie Jo.
Now, where is she?
She's outside somewhere with Junior Hocker.
They went down to the lake to practice.
Practice what? Archery.
You know, bows and arrows.
Paul, do me a favor.
Run down to the lake and bring her back.
I've got the most wonderful surprise for her.
Sure, Mrs. Bradley.
Mom, what is it?
Come on over here, sit down, I'll tell you all about it.
Your sister Billie Jo is going to be a doctor.
Doctor?
Billie Jo?
The blonde bombshell?
Betty.
Hooterville's own Tuesday Weld?
Bobbie.
Miss Built Best from Shady Rest?
Now, that's enough.
Your sister Billie Jo happens
to have a beautiful face and a curvy figure.
So what's wrong with that?
Nothing, that's great.
Especially if you're a girl.
But a doctor?
Could you two high school know-it-alls
bear to let your mother talk for a minute?
Sure, Mom. Sorry.
Well, before you girls were born
In fact, the day before Billie Jo was born
Your father, rest his soul,
took out an endowment policy
to send his son to medical school.
Son?
Like all men, he was convinced
that his first child was going to be a boy.
He had his name and his career all picked out.
William Junior, Dr. Bill Bradley.
Gee, I'll bet Dad was disappointed
when Billie turned out to be a girl.
Not after he saw her.
Then, he was the proudest father in this whole valley.
And then when we were expecting you, Bobbie Jo,
the same thing started all over again,
only now it was Robert, Dr. Bob Bradley.
And I had to go and let him down again.
Boy, he must have really flipped when I showed up.
No.
Your father loved all of you with all his heart.
Why, he wouldn't have traded you three girls
for the Mayo Brothers.
Why all the talk about Billie Jo becoming a doctor?
Well, when Bill, your father,
saw for himself that he had an all-girl family,
he went back to his original plan
of sending his first child to medical school.
I remember when Billie Jo was yea high.
He used to introduce her as "my daughter the doctor."
Hey, Mrs. Bradley, is Billie Jo ever a natural for archery.
Junior says I have almost perfect form already.
Uh, yeah.
You look great, Doc.
Nice going, Willie Boy.
Doc? Willie Boy?
Pay no attention to these high school cutups.
Billie Jo, I've got the most marvelous surprise for you.
Look at this check. For me?
From an endowment policy
your father took out for you.
$500?!
Mom, that means I can do what I've been planning
and dreaming about for so long.
That's right.
I can go to Hollywood!
Yeah.
What? Yahoo!
Hey, hey, Paul, hey, uh, there are two over there.
This one's mine.
You dreamer.
Junior? Yeah.
No, no, I don't want to dance.
I want to talk to Billie Jo.
Billie, the last thing in the world your father'd want
is to make you do something against your will,
but it was his last wish,
so give it a lot of consideration.
Of course I will, Mom.
But I have to be honest and tell you
that what I really want to do
is go to Hollywood and become an actress.
Oh, Mom, just think of meeting Rock Hudson
or even playing a love scene with him.
Honey, every year, thousands of girls go to Hollywood
to try and be actresses
Young, beautiful, talented, just like you
And most of 'em come back home broken-hearted,
or what's even worse They stay there broken-hearted.
But some of them make it.
Somebody has to play opposite Rock Hudson,
and maybe I'll be the one.
Maybe I'll become famous.
Baby And when I do,
I'll send for you, Mom
You and Bobbie and Betty and Uncle Joe
And you won't have to work anymore.
Why, you can come live with me in Hollywood.
Billie What's this about Hollywood?
Uncle Joe, look what I got.
It's from that endowment policy Bill took out.
$500?
You know what she wants to do with it?
She wants to go to Hollywood and try and be an actress.
Billie Jo, Hollywood's no place
for a young, innocent girl like you.
You see?
Why, them wolves'd be after you the minute you got there.
That's right.
Oh, they might promise you they'd get you into pictures,
but dollars to donuts
you'd never see the inside of a studio.
Oh, honey, I'd be worried out of my mind.
Sure, she would.
You can stop worrying, Kate.
I'll go to Hollywood with her and be her manager.
Oh, Uncle Joe.
Eh Uncle Joe.
Hi, Floyd.
Hi, Kate. Going shopping?
No, I'm going in to see Dr. Depew.
You ain't sick, are you?
Oh, no.
I'm hoping to get the doc
to come out and talk to Billie Jo.
Board! Let her roll, Charley!
Can't you see I'm oiling the journals, smoke-head?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
We're oiling the journals, ladies.
I'll have to take back that "Board!"
For a couple of minutes.
Floyd.
Where did all the women come from?
Pixley they're all going in to Doc Depew's office, too.
But what's wrong with the doctor in Pixley?
He ain't young, single, and good-looking.
Neither is Doc Depew.
No, but his young assistant sure is
Young city doctor, name of Harris.
Real handsome, huh?
Kate, I hear he don't even have
to tell the women to say "Ah."
They say it the minute they see him.
No fooling.
Kind of Rock Hudson type, huh?
Who's he?
Never mind, Floyd.
Sit down.
I'd like to tell you about my daughter the doctor.
Hello, Do-Doc Depew?
This is Kate Bradley.
No there's nothing wrong.
I-I hear you have a real handsome new assistant.
I know he's too young for me.
I want him to come out to Shady Rest
and get Billie Jo interested in medical school.
She wants to go to Hollywood.
Tell him it's an emergency
A real puzzling case you can't figure out.
And you won't be lying 'cause I'm thinking of Uncle Joe.
Oh, wonderful.
The boys are turning the train around,
so send him right down to the station.
Yeah. Bye.
Dr. Harris?
Yes.
My, my.
I beg your pardon.
My, um, my uncle is very sick.
Oh, you must be the Mrs. Bradley
Dr. Depew told me about.
Yes.
Let's get aboard, shall we?
Now, y-you go sit down, Doctor, I'll be right back.
Let her go, Charley.
Oh, look out there.
Isn't that interesting?
What's so interesting?
It's gone now.
Well, tell me about your uncle.
If he's got Dr. Depew puzzled, he must be quite a case.
Oh, he is quite a case.
I was, um, I was hoping that you and, uh,
my daughter could have a consultation about him.
You have a daughter who's a doctor?
Well, not yet, but I have great hopes for her.
Especially now.
Dr. Depew tells me that you have three daughters,
all of them beautiful. Mm-hmm.
Billie Jo is the beautiful daughter
that's interested in doctors.
Becoming one.
Good for her.
Most beautiful girls these days
just seem to be interested
in going to Hollywood and becoming actresses.
Isn't it the truth?
But I'm sure that you'll encourage Billie
to go to medical school.
Well, if she hopes to become a doctor,
I can recommend it highly.
Come on, Uncle Joe, hop a little higher.
You look great. Come on, Uncle Joe.
Take it easy, kids, there's more of me to hop.
I think I'd better go out in the kitchen and take on
some of that high-protein energy-building food
like your ma's lemon meringue pie.
All right for Shady Rest Hotel, Doctor.
Oh, uh what happened to Mrs. Bradley?
Oh, she had to rush some supplies up to the hotel.
Said for me and Charley to bring you along in a little bit.
Oh, that won't be necessary.
I can find my own way.
Kate wants me and Charley to hold you up a little.
Hold me up?
Climbing the path to the hotel.
It gets a little slippery this time of year.
Is that what she meant?
Yeah. Yeah.
Stop the dancing.
Quick, stop the dancing.
Have some respect for the sick.
Who's sick?
Uncle Joe. Where is he?
In the kitchen, loading up on pie.
Oh, well, everybody sit down and look worried,
because the doctor's coming to examine Uncle Joe.
But, Mom, he was just
And you, Billie Jo, you look worried but beautiful.
What gives? I don't know.
It sounds like it's gonna be Dullsville.
Hey, Billie, let's cut out, huh?
I'm with you.
Uncle Joe,
I got to ask you a quick, serious question.
Anybody that can make pie this good can ask me anything.
Shoot.
If you and Billie Jo ran out of money
and got stranded in Hollywood,
could you support her by acting?
Easy.
I got acting in my blood.
That's where Billie Jo gets it.
Well, c-can I be sure about it?
Could I give you a test? Of course.
Throw me a scene from Shakespeare; I'll eat it up.
Which is more than I'm getting
to do with this piece of pie.
Well, never mind Shakespeare.
I got a better test.
Can you convince a young city doctor
that you're really sick?
Easy as pie.
I'll take that back; Pie ain't so easy around here.
Good. Now, you hurry up the back stairs
and hop into bed.
Please, Kate, don't ask me to hop.
I'm all hopped out. Now, hurry.
Can I take my piece of pie with me?
You do a convincing job on that doctor,
and I'll serve you a whole pie in bed.
Look out, Spencer Tracy, here comes "Actin' Joe Carson."
Come on.
Hmm This is a puzzling case.
How long have these dizzy spells been occurring?
A year. A week.
How long?
A year and a week exactly.
Well, that's a long time.
Why haven't you told Dr. Depew about this?
Well, I haven't really noticed the dizzy spells,
on account of the fierce stabbing pain in my arm.
Ooh! Ooh!
Where does the pain seem to be?
Mostly on the inside.
You take any medication for the pain?
No; I only notice it when my knee stops throbbing.
Your knee bothers you, too?
Oh, terrible.
It's almost as bad as my back.
You also have a bad back?
Doc, I'm just one big mass of misery.
You certainly are.
Arm, knee, back, dizzy spells.
How do you ever get any work done?
Grit.
Sheer grit.
Dr. Harris, uh, I'll go get my daughter Billie Jo,
so you two can have your consultation.
Well, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to give your uncle
quite a thorough examination.
Perhaps you'd better wait downstairs
until I Oh. All right.
We'll be anxious to talk to you,
my daughter Billie and me.
Uncle Joe, remember how to act.
He, uh, gets out of hand sometimes.
Don't worry about me, Kate.
Just have that pie ready.
I don't believe we should eat any pie.
Well, I wasn't planning on sharing it with you, Doc.
What I meant was you're gonna
have to start losing some weight.
Losing some weight? Where from?
It's all solid muscle.
Open your mouth.
Wide.
Stick out your tongue.
Further.
Little further.
That's all the tongue I got, Doc.
From there on back is throat.
Charley, maybe you better stop hopping.
It's kind of shaking the upstairs.
I'm real glad to have an excuse to stop.
Where's Billie Jo?
Oh, she and Junior went back to the lake.
Oh, no! She's got to be here when Dr. Harris comes down.
I'll get her back for you, Kate.
Well, see if you can get her back without Junior.
Okay. Come on, Kate,
do the Hooterville Hop with us kids.
Sure, Mom. You're coming to the high school dance.
Oh, we'll be so proud of you, Mom.
You'll be the only mother who knows the Hop.
Well, all right, but let's hop quiet.
Dr. Harris.
I'm glad to see you not worried about your uncle.
I'll be running along.
Oh, but I am worried, awful worried.
W-We're all worried.
Well, dancing's a good way to relieve tension.
Oh, no, no, we weren't dancing.
No? What do you call it?
The Hooterville Hop.
This young fella started it.
It's spreading like wildfire.
It's a terrible disease.
Disease?
Makes your foot muscles twitch.
You hop like crazy.
I think you better quarantine the hotel.
Mrs. Bradley, I'd love to meet your daughter,
but I have a lot of paperwork waiting for me at the office.
Well, Doctor, she'll be back in just a second.
I got everybody out looking for her.
And I do so want you to help her
pick out the medical school she should go to.
Well, why don't we make it next time.
Next time, it might be too late.
Why, she'll be running off to
Holly would you like some tea?
Uh, no thank you.
I've really got to get back to Hooterville. Well
We've looked everywhere for Billie Jo, Mom.
There's no sign of her yet.
Uh, suppose we do make it next time.
Oh! Betty Jo, you show the doctor
how your poison ivy has spread.
Spread? Where?
It's practically gone.
Take a quick look at her, Doctor, huh?
Show the doctor your leg, dear.
All right, Mrs. Bradley, if it'll make you feel better.
Oh, Mother, for heaven's sake.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm afraid I'm too late, Mrs. Bradley.
You mean it's serious?
No, it's gone.
Well, how about, how about the other leg?
Uh, very pretty; They make a nice pair.
Doctor, I hate to hold you up like this,
but as long as you're here,
I wonder if you'd take a look at my foot.
I-I've had this terrible pain.
You have?
Yes, I have.
And you run along about your business.
And you know what that is.
All right, what seems to be the trouble?
Well, I don't rightly know, Doctor.
The pain seems to come and go.
Well, if you'll take off your shoe,
we'll see what we can find.
Oh, thank you, Doctor.
Where does it seem to hurt?
Uh, on the bottom, in the middle.
Does this hurt?
Tickles, Doctor.
It, uh
it tickles and it hurts is what it does.
Well, it didn't seem to hurt you when you were
jumping up and down and hopping a few minutes ago.
Well, uh, it, uh, it doesn't hurt when I hop,
it's just when I walk and
then I limp all over the place.
Well, you're doing the right
thing for it, just what I'd do.
Oh, really?
Yes, if I had a sore foot, I think I'd limp, too.
Well, don't you want me to do anything for it but limp?
Well, you can soak it in some, uh, hot water
and some Epsom salts, and
that should take care of the trouble.
Anything else?
Uh, let me see, now
Well, if you think of anything else, Mrs. Bradley,
uh, you just drop by the office.
Uh Good-bye.
I think I got something in my eye!
All right, Mrs. Bradley, let me take a look.
Well, look who's here.
My daughter Billie Jo the doctor.
What?
Uh, m-my daughter Billie Jo the doctor.
Dr. Clayton Harris.
How do you do, Doctor? How do you do?
Somebody sick?
Your Uncle Joe again. Again?
It's getting to be a terrible problem, isn't it?
Now, Billie Jo, I know you're anxious
to get upstairs and see your poor sick uncle.
And Dr. Harris will go with you.
And you can watch while he takes Uncle Joe's pulse
and temperature and blood pressure
and things like that. I've done all that.
But not for Billie Jo.
She's never seen a real doctor
make a real examination on a real patient.
That's the real truth.
Well, I suppose there are
a couple of other tests I could run.
Oh, wonderful!
If there ain't nothing serious wrong with me,
why are you back up here
getting ready to do all these things?
Just routine.
Uh, besides, this young lady wanted to see.
What for?
Last look, is that it?
Oh, Uncle Joe, calm down.
How do you feel? Terrible.
Kate, Kate, I was thinking
You better get the rest of them
up here to tell me good-bye.
Doc, level with me.
How much time have I got?
Now you're getting yourself all worked up over nothing.
Miss Bradley Mm-hmm.
This will be a good illustration
of how nervous tension can elevate blood pressure.
When I took his pressure before, it was normal.
Now we'll see to what extent
his anxiety has increased the pressure.
Isn't this thrilling?
Fine niece.
I'm dying and your thrilled.
Doctor, could Billie please do that?
Certainly.
Mom
Squeeze the bulb, just like the doctor, huh?
Get the feel of it; You might like it.
Well, that proves I'm a goner.
Letting amateurs practice on me.
Now observe.
This higher reading is the systolic pressure.
And this is the diastolic.
And I was right, it is relatively elevated.
Kate, get me a pencil and paper.
I want to dictate my last will and testament.
Calm down.
Now we'll try a hemoglobin determination.
Billie Jo, isn't this exciting?
Well, sort of.
Go ahead, Doctor, you're doing just fine.
First, we'll extract a little blood.
From who? From you.
Now this is pure alcohol.
Great, I can use a slug.
Now if you'll moisten some cotton with the alcohol
and cleanse the end of his middle finger.
Ooh!
Doctor, look!
Look, she's a natural-born finger cleanser.
Oh, I'm gonna go get her sisters.
They just got to see the way
this girl has taken to medicine.
Now, hold on, Doc, be careful with that harpoon.
Ow!
There, that didn't hurt us.
Then how come one of us yelled "Ow"?
Now, if you'll hold this hemoglobinometer
we'll collect some blood between these
sterile glass slides
and insert them in the hemoglobinometer.
Miss Bradley? Miss Bradley?
Hurry up, girls, I want you to see
your sister the doctor in action.
Where is she?
She's right there on the floor.
On the floor?!
What happened, Doctor?
She fainted at the first sight of blood.
Oh, no.
Wake up, Doc.
Snap out of it, will you? You're wanted in surgery.
Oh, stop teasing her.
Come on, wake up, Billie.
Oh.
I wonder if Dr.Schweitzer's mother had this trouble.
How can you dance down here when my life's ebbing away?
Doc, please give me back that blood.
I need it.
Oh, Uncle Joe, I was just gonna bring your pie up to you.
I can't eat pie.
I'm at death's door.
Well, I'll just take it back.
Just a minute.
I need strength.
Maybe I can force down a bite or two.
Might get me through the night
so I can see another sunrise.
How's she doing, Doctor?
Fine. She hasn't fainted once.
You sure have picked up the Hooterville Hop.
Thanks. It's the greatest disease I ever danced.
Fine family and friends I've got.
Not one of them cares that I'm passing on.
Wonder if there's any more pie in the kitchen.
This has been a Filmways presentation.