The Doomies (2026) s01e17 Episode Script

1
[Doug yelps, pants]
[roaring]
[screams]
[grunts]
[growling, laughing]
[panting]
[echoing] Kim!
[gasps, pants]
Whoa.
I just had my first dream.
Um, that sounds less like a dream
and more like a nightmare.
Dreams. Nightmares.
Both of them are human.
I'm getting closer.
I have never felt so alive and…
and so tired.
Is this
what being a real person feels like?
Kinda, yeah.
But if you try relaxing before bed,
-you might have nicer dreams?
-Mm-hmm.
My dad uses a meditation app. I think he's
still freaked about those ghost knights.
-[Romy's dad whimpering]
-You are on a beach.
-The skeletons cannot reach you here.
-[floor creaks]
[whimpering]
-Shh.
-[screams, whimpers]
There. A big part of being human
is downloading apps that you think
will solve all your problems.
[Mordam chuckles]
Your friends are so pathetic.
And they have no concept of nightmares.
Uh, thanks, kid.
But I'll pass on meditating.
I'm trying this thing called jogging.
The concept is that you run,
but for no purpose.
I suppose that leaves us
to figure out what's going on
with all that evil under Ouimper then.
Yeah. Someone is trying to tap into it.
[whispering] And it could be anyone.
-[Jenny groans]
-Hmm?
Look at this, Bubs.
We're full, but no one is buying anything!
[scoffs] The mayor's "tech boom"
is a bust!
It's brought in
a whole new breed of customer
who think they can swan in with a laptop
and use this place
as their personal office.
Oh, hello, you three.
Oh, don't mind me, sis.
I'm just gonna set up in the corner.
A tap water, please.
[groans]
[sighs]
[inhales deeply] It's fine.
Remember your meditation app.
You are on a beach.
The only people who do want to order
are those new construction guys.
But they're so bad at small talk.
Oh, great.
So no one is ordering anything today!
[exclaims]
We're following those guys, right?
Absolutely.
-[seagull] Kim!
-Huh?
-Kim!
-Kim!
-Kim!
-Kim.
-Kim.
-Kim! Kim!
-[seagulls] Kim! Kim! Kim!
-[panting]
The community center.
Mmm. Meh. Looks pretty normal.
Maybe they're only dead-eyed 'cause
they hate their jobs? Like most adults.
[grunts] Bobby, look.
Aha!
The front was a front!
-[laughs]
-[grunts]
Romy. What if the evil under Ouimper
is something you could dig up?
What if it's that?
[Romy gasps] The creepy rocks.
[Bobby] The fissures.
We found our missing link.
And our missing link is driving away.
Hurry!
Imagine a beach.
Clear blue water. Smooth white sand.
-Palm trees swaying in a gentle breeze.
-Hmm?
White sand? I thought all beaches
were gray and full of pebbles.
[Doug chuckles]
That's Ouimper beach life for ya.
Doug? [stammers] Is that you?
[Doug] Kim! You can hear me!
Marvelous. You must have gotten
those messages I've been leaving for you.
The seagulls. That was you?
But you hate those birds.
[Doug] And being in the squalid mind
of one only increased that hatred
to new depths of loathing. But yes, them.
-And the Morse code lamp…
-[groans]
[Doug] Ow!
…and the butter message,
and the window of screams.
[Doug screams]
-You didn't notice?
-Mm-mmm.
[Doug] Doing those exhausted me
for days. [sighs] Never mind.
-You're here now.
-But where are you?
[stammers] Where are you
talking to me from?
[Doug] Where do you think? Subterra!
-[gasps]
-But it's all gone wrong.
I need a rescue, pronto.
I'll explain more later.
Having this conversation is very draining.
And I need to use all my energy
for one more thing.
[groans, pants]
[Doug] Come on, pop in. Chop-chop!
This better not be a trick.
My heart couldn't take it.
Hmm.
[gasps]
[groans, grunts]
You're not happy to see me?
No.
Yes. I don't know!
You left me.
[stammers] What was I supposed to do?
From what I could see via seagull,
you seemed to be doing okay.
Well, I haven't been.
I've had to work out how to be a person.
With only a couple of tweens
to help me out,
I've been so alone.
I know. It wasn't what I wanted.
I let you down, and I'm sorry.
[scoffs] Don't apologize.
I-I don't want to hear it.
Just tell me what we're doing here.
This isn't Subterra.
No, no. This is The Great In-Between.
Or limbo, if you will.
My body is in Subterra,
but this is something of a halfway point
between their and our reality.
Since we blew up the other door,
we have to cut through here.
Oh, we have to, do we?
I understand if you don't want to help me.
I don't deserve it.
Save it. I'm not going to just leave you
on your own.
That would be cowardly.
-[grunts]
-What?
[straining]
Sorry. Bit tricky keeping my form.
Do you mind
if I morph into something else?
Mmm.
[Doug grunts] There.
Wow. You're huge!
Right, let's head for that dune.
What happens
if I accidentally step on you?
Not to worry. I can come back
multiple times and all--
[grunts]
[chuckles] Perhaps I'll hang back
just a tad.
[stammers] You go first.
We gotta figure out
where they're taking this creepy rock.
And we need a better name
than "creepy rock."
Child, this ore is older than this world.
Darkness personified.
The source of all magic.
You wish to know its name?
[scoffs] It's unpronounceable
by your human tongues. You've never even--
How about "Eviltanium"?
Yeah, cool.
[groans] How did you two ever beat me?
The abandoned fish factory?
Whoa! [grunts]
-[groans]
-[mechanical whirring]
Doesn't look abandoned anymore.
[both gasp]
[sniffs] And smell that?
-[sniffs]
-No fish.
That's, I wanna say, fishy.
[gasps]
One thing's for sure.
This ain't no fish factory.
And here should be
the lush forest of Gambalon.
Hmm?
[stammers] Perhaps my books
are just a tad out of date.
Never mind.
[stammers] Just up there is a river
that we can follow.
Ah, seems to have dried out. But fear not!
Just beyond are some helpful gnomes who
will guide us to the gateway to… [gulps]
-Oh, dear.
-[groans]
I don't think
the gnomes will be very helpful.
-Unbelievable.
-[grunts]
-[door opens, creaks]
-Someone's coming.
[both whimpering]
[gasps]
[yelps] What the…
No way.
It's like
they're brainwashed or something.
Is that what this phone does?
The adults were right.
Being on your phone is bad for you.
[both gasp]
[panting]
Did you have to come back as a rock?
[Doug] Being a beetle is tiring.
And clearly not sturdy enough.
Faster now, we're almost there.
This should be where the gate is.
Do you, uh, see one?
Hey, what are you doing?
We've been walking for hours.
I can't believe this.
I looked up to you, you know?
But you never knew
what you were doing, did you?
[Doug] Of course not. Nobody does.
If you want to know
what being human really is, it's that.
Being human is letting people down?
Well, then you're very human.
Things were actually
going well for me for once.
I had dates, yeah, more than one.
I was doing things for myself.
I was jogging!
[Doug] I know. [sighs]
Every time I left you a sign,
I saw a glimpse of your life.
And Kim, I am so proud of you.
Remember that, will you?
No, no! No, no, no, Doug.
Don't you leave. Not again.
[stammers] I didn't mean it.
Come back! No!
[breathes shakily, sniffles]
Doug, Doug!
Why is he such an idiot?
And why do I still miss him anyway?
Being human is the worst!
[grunts]
-[monster shrieks]
-Huh?
Did we add more test subjects?
Who signed these two in?
-[alarm blares]
-[stammers] She's here.
Why, hello.
[both] What?
Look at that.
Are these the test subjects? My, my.
This is all working perfectly.
Perfectly? Madame Mayor,
this is why we called you in.
The OuimPhone is too powerful.
Mayor, there's no way we can
put your phone out in good conscience.
What is in that ore you're digging up?
Oh, dear.
Well, I am sure I can persuade you.
[gasps]
Ah! I see your conscience has changed.
Now, let's observe how powerful
these phones really are. Burpees!
[both gasp]
-Hmm?
-[Bobby straining]
[Bobby groans]
Hmm.
[chuckles]
Intruders!
-Seize those imps!
-[groaning]
[both whimper]
[both] Hmm?
-[Bobby yells, pants]
-[Romy pants]
Look!
[both straining]
[strains]
-[snarls]
-[Romy screams]
[Bobby gasps]
Eh?
[straining]
-[screams, grunts]
-[grunts]
[gasps]
-[shrieking]
-[both whimper]
Oh, no!
-Quite the pickle you're in, no?
-Huh?
Perhaps I can help.
[groans]
[monster laughs]
Spirited.
But this need not come to a fight.
Why do you wish to enter Subterra?
Most seek to escape it.
What's it to you?
Can't you just let me use the gate?
[monster laughs]
-I am the gate!
-[gasps]
And I will decide if you are worthy
to come through.
Are you worthy?
[sighs]
No, I'm not worthy.
I've been trying to be a person
and I've only succeeded in being a mess.
But the person I'm here to save,
he's worthy.
Yeah, sometimes he's annoying.
Yes, sometimes he's an idiot.
But you know what else he is?
Stubborn. Shortsighted. With terrible body
odor. And his diet… [exclaims]
You wouldn't believe it.
But he sacrificed himself to save me.
So I can't leave him
in Subterra all alone.
[monster] If I let you enter,
there is a chance you may never return.
I know the risk. But I owe him.
[monster] Very well. You may remove
this worthy soul from Subterra.
If you wish to save your father--
Not my father.
Kind of. It's complicated, okay?
[groans]
[Doug] Kim?
[Kim] Doug? [stammers] That you?
[stammers] What are you now? A beetle?
You better not be a rock again,
so help me…
[sighs, strains]
[gasps, strains]
Doug.
Mmm.
Oh, uh, that's new.
Oh, you stupid old man,
as if I could ever leave you behind.
You forgive me then?
Well, could you perhaps extend
that forgiving mood just a smidge?
[growling]
[grunts]
-Hmm?
-Kim, Kim, [stammers] it's okay.
Meet Myrrh. She's my partner.
[Myrrh] Mmm.
Huh?
[Myrrh growls]
[Myrrh] Hmm.
You really have changed.
So have you. What happened to you, Doug?
[sighs] It's quite the tale.
I was king of all Subterra, you know?
Seriously, it's true.
My reign was glorious.
And, uh, short.
[crowd cheering]
[Doug] They accepted me as their ruler.
They really dug the Doug.
And I had big plans.
But I made one crucial error. The denizens
of Subterra had followed Mordam
because she promised
conquest of the world above.
-[denizens grunt]
-But I wanted to improve the one below.
Foolish. The allure of life outside
of Subterra was what bound this society.
They couldn't understand my vision.
Also, try explaining what tax is
to a demon. Bad idea.
[door closes]
-I was imprisoned here.
-[Myrrh] Hmm?
-But not before I had fallen in love.
-[Myrrh] Mmm.
-[Myrrh mutters]
-[creature croaking]
Huh? What is that?
[croaking continues]
[shrieking]
Oh, bother. They've sounded the alarm.
We have to run!
[grunts]
[Kim groans]
[roaring]
Come on, you two. Kids love phones.
I've got two freebies.
I think you'll find them irresistible.
I can't believe
it was the mayor all along.
My parents voted for her.
[straining]
[panting]
[straining continues]
[Mordam] What are you afraid of?
I can help you harness it.
If only you let me.
-[Romy grunting]
-[gasps]
[straining]
[Mordam cackling]
Hmm?
[laughs]
[coughs]
Huh?
[grunts]
[grunts] Dude, what is going on?
How did you do that?
I guess this building isn't up to code.
Lucky us. We gotta keep moving.
Hmm.
[Doug screams, grunts]
[both panting]
Whoa. [grunts]
-Whoo!
-[Myrrh exclaims]
[monster] Wait!
This is not what we agreed to.
You have a stowaway.
Yeah, she's with Doug. And Doug is
with me! Do we have a problem?
[monster] Send her back.
Or face me in combat.
[sighs]
[Myrrh groans]
I'm sorry.
[grunts]
[monster] So be it.
-[grunts]
-[yelps]
-[grunts]
-Kim!
I've got this. Leave!
You didn't give up on me,
so there's no way in Subterra
we're giving up on you.
Here, this'll help.
[chanting in unknown language]
[grunts, yelps]
[in English] Oopsie. [chuckles]
Forgot to keep the handle cool.
Uh… [chanting in unknown language]
[in English] There!
[grunts]
-Yeah! [laughs]
-[laughs]
[screams]
[grunts]
Huh?
[gasps]
[strains]
[exclaims]
Aha!
[whimpering]
Ow!
[laughs, grunts]
[both growl]
[shrieking]
-[Kim groans, grunts]
-[Myrrh growls]
[sniffles] Oh, my girls.
Just look at 'em go.
[Kim grunting]
[grunts]
[Myrrh] Hmm?
[cheering, laughing]
Whoo! All right.
This is better than cheese!
[monster] You will suffer my wrath! You--
That's the last time
I try to do something nice.
Whoa. [grunts]
[chanting in unknown language]
[sniffs] Ouimper.
How I missed your unique aromas.
Myrrh, you're gonna love my lighthouse.
It is so dingy.
Mmm. About that.
There's been a few changes
while you've been gone.
Bobby and Romy can explain.
[shrieks]
That power. Did it not feel good?
You only had a taste.
I can help you unlock true glory.
If you would just let me.
Come on, don't be a wuss about it!
[grunts]
-Hey. Did something happen back there?
-[groans]
You can talk to me, you know?
Um, it's nothing. Come on.
[cackling]
[theme song playing]