The Troop (2009) s01e17 Episode Script

Angie Your lunch:
healthful sustenance
or disease-ridden killer?
The answer may surprise you.
We're good, Angie.
Solid.
What are you doing
with that camera down?
If you don't have an ambush,
then you don't have an expose.
Everyone knows that.
[distant humming]
Yeah, but
Wait, here he comes.
Okay, grab some footage of
him working, then the ambush.
Let's go.
[Janitor hums]
Let's go.
All right, hold on.
It's rebooting.
[flapping]
Huh?
[Janitor screams]
[Moth hisses]
[Janitor screams]
[groans]
I got this one.
[Moth hisses]
[blast]
[Felix shrieks]
Hayley Hit it again, Jake.
[zap]
[Moth screams]
[Moth hisses]
[zap]
[Moth shrieks]
[zap]
[Moth hisses]
Angie What are you doing?
A real journalist never
runs from a story.
Etienne, hold the door.
[metal duct rattles]
[heavy breathing]
Please tell me you
got that on tape.
Good idea.
Hah, ready when you are.
Hayley Come on, come on!
Ahh, this box is broken.
I can't get the Snark out.
Here, toss it to me.
I know a way to open it.
[Snark gurgles]
Hayley You broke it!
You said it was
already broken.
How's he doing?
Felix He'll be mopping
clean floor with dirty
water in no time.
Put your earplugs in.
I'm gonna snark him.
In five seconds, this guy's
not gonna remember a thing
that just happened.
[Snark sings]
It's so weird.
Those kids are all
in Mime Club!
Then there's more to Mime
Club than meets the eye.
And Angie Crabtree
will get the answers.
[rumble]
[clatter]
Arrr, darn it!
It's no use, we'll have
to order another Snark
Ugh!
[grunts]
Okay, well what
about the Snark?
[groans]
[crash]
I'll uh, put the Snark
in the supply closet.
Keep it safe.
Come on, buddy.
TroopGrid (voice of perky
girl) Hey girlfriend,
sample analysis completed.
Whoa, what happened
to TroopGrid?
Felix programmed a more
'friendly' voice for it.
Identify, please.
TroopGrid The victim?
How 'bout smelly?
And gross.
The monster, I just need
you to identify the monster.
TroopGrid Excuse me,
Your Highness.
She doesn't
sound more friendly.
No.
TroopGrid Here's
your monster.
Felix I was right.
It's a Cryptohexapod,
also known as the blood
sucking Vampire Moth.
Able to drain human's blood
out in seven seconds or less.
TroopGrid So smart, Felix.
[giggle]
And looking fine as usual.
Thanks, TroopGrid.
You see, Vampire Moths emit
electromagnetic energy so using
our pulse rays was like putting
tin foil in a microwave.
Oh, I learned that
lesson the hard way.
Three times.
It also says here that
Vampire Moths only feast
on human blood when they're
about to lay their eggs.
TroopGrid Oh look,
the cheerleader can read.
[laughter]
Hey!
Oh, come on.
She was just teasing.
Bad, TroopGrid.
But it's true, we probably have
six hours before it lays its
eggs, then we have to handle
thousands of these suckers.
We should tell Mr. Stockley.
I wouldn't tell
Mr. Stockley anything today.
Um, not on Career Day.
[nearby scream]
[weapons fire up]
What are you doing?
Put those away.
We though maybe you
were being attacked
by the Vampire Moth.
If only I was so lucky.
I've got a typo on my handout.
No one's going to care.
It's Career Day.
No one's going to care?
Sure, why would anyone care
about high school
administration?
It's only the most rewarding
career there is
but all anyone ever
sees is paperwork
and paper cuts for
a tiny paycheck.
That's not what I meant.
Now where is my
signature, creamy yellow
card stock?
Because I am not going
to walk out there
and talk about 'Carrier Day'.
Think I saw a box
in the supply closet.
Phew!
Card stock's in
the supply closet.
Where in the supply closet?
It could be anywhere.
This place is so
disorganized, I should
[Snark gurgles]
Ahh, creamy yellow,
my favourite.
[bang]
Ahhh!
[Snark screams out song]
Hmm
Ah, card stock.
[bang]
Ohhh!
[Snark screams out song]
Creamy yellow.
[bang]
Owww!
[Snark screams out song]
[bang]
Oww Ahh!
[bang, scream, Snark sings]
Hmm? Hmm?
Hmm?
[air rushing]
[Snark gurgles]
Felix Hey, Mr. Stockley.
Waaa haaa!
[Felix gasps]
Who are you?
Mr. Stockley
Mr. Stockley's my father.
I go by the name Sir Flash.
Whoo hoo!
Whoo hoo hoo!
What happened in here?
What happened to my gear?
Why am I dressed like 'The Man'?
Sir Flash,
do you know what day it is?
Homie, quite playing.
It's Wednesday.
Ahh
April 11, 1982.
Whoo whoo!
You should know it's 2010.
Do you understand
what this means?
It means this closet is
a time machine.
We have to get that
moth creature on tape
so we can give it
to Bernardo Suzuki.
The anchorman from KBMU?
Yeah.
He's here for Career Day.
Oh, we'll be famous.
We only have a few
hours before Career Day.
Okay, let's hope that
that's enough time to capture
the Vampire Moth before
it lays its eggs.
This is Angie Crabtree for
Lakewood High Student News.
Hayley Steele, our investigative
news team saw a giant moth-type
creature in the cafeteria
storage room this morning.
Then, they spotted your
so-called 'Mime Team',
leaving the scene.
Care to comment?
Yeah, ah, is this a joke?
I never joke.
I have no sense of humor.
She's not joking.
Do you deny that your
Mime Club was in or near
the cafeteria storage
room this morning?
Looking for breakfast.
Just the four food groups:
orange juice, bacon,
chocolate syrup.
That's three food groups.
It's an authorized
club, okay.
Ask Mr. Stockley.
Oh, we will.
We will.
We're joining Mime Club.
[Etienne gasps]
Face it, Hayley Steele,
you're stuck with us!
Angie Then it's agreed,
we're joining Mime Club.
I am a fan of
the variety arts.
That's cool.
You can join.
They can?
Jake Of course.
Mrs. Bernstein's
classroom is empty now.
Why don't you go over there
and started on your stretching.
We'll grab the props
and meet you in a second.
If this is a trick and
you're blowing us off
A student club, like mime
itself, is based on trust.
Do you really want to start
off on the wrong foot?
Etienne See ya in a sec.
What are you doing?
There is no Mime Club.
And, we have less than two hours
to capture a giant killer moth.
We'll go to HQ, grab
the Snark and snark them.
They'll forget
all about the moth.
Although Angie will
probably still hate you.
That seems permanent.
What do you mean
the Snark is broken?
I know it's bad but the
little fellow will be better
by tonight.
He needs some rest.
We need to snark
Angie and Etienne.
They saw us fighting
the giant Moth.
And now, they want
to join Mime Club.
But Mime Club doesn't exist.
I'm with you now.
What are we going to?
I'll search the school
for the Vampire Moth.
Have you tried scanning for it?
The Moth has electromagnetic
properties so it doesn't
show up on TroopGrid.
[computer beeps]
TroopGrid It's not my fault,
you guys.
Stop being mad at me.
You're doing just
fine, TroopGrid.
TroopGrid [giggle]
Thank you, Felix.
Hayley Well, guess
I'll start in the AC ducts.
What about Angie and Etienne?
If they want to
join Mime Club, Jake,
then you're just going
to have to teach them mime.
Jake But I don't
know about mime.
Felix Come on, Jake.
Make some stuff up.
I've seen your homework.
You can do it.
So, do you know what actually
happened to Mr. Stockley?
Felix I'm not sure but he's
been snarked so many times,
he actually thinks
he's in high school.
Oooo boy!
I blew up
the morning announcements,
this morning.
What's that dope scent
blowing up your nose?
That's how you know
we're serving sloppy joes
[laughs]
That's greatly disturbing.
Hey, let's bust
out of here, Homes.
Playa's gotta play.
Come on, MrHomie,
you and I are going to do some
ah, science experiments.
Science?
When am I ever gonna use that?
So, welcome to Mime Club.
Ah, thank you!
We're both really
excited to be here.
Yeah, tell us
about mime, hot shot.
Jake Okay, mime
from the Arabic,
'Al Mime-inad' meaning silent
talk or communicating of ideas.
Um, isn't it short
for 'pantomime'?
Common mistake.
No.
Fascinating!
You have no idea
what you're doing, do you?
Shhh.
I'm just keeping you busy
until the Snark gets better.
You're not going to remember
anything once you're snarked.
Wait, what does that mean?
Good, a volunteer.
Come on up and
let's do some mime.
Ooh ooh, me too!
Sure, let's all do some mime.
Phew!
Felix?
Felix, hey.
Is the Snark better yet?
[Snark coughs]
No, but I gave it a lozenge.
And how are we getting
Mr. Stockley back to normal?
I'm building a Proustian
Alpha Wave Uploader
to repair his memory.
The principle it works on
is quite interesting
Hey, I ah, I'm losing ya.
Yeah, I guess I'm in an area
with really bad reception.
You're clear as a bell here.
Weird.
Uh, kaaak
Gottakaakgokaak.
Good-bye.
[watchcom beeps off]
Computer Weapon engaging
Mr. Stockley, please!
Try not to touch anything.
Well, I'm going
up to school then.
But wait.
Mr. Stockley, I'm sorry
but you're going to have
to stay here in HQ.
We can't have you roaming
the halls acting so weird.
Man, this is wack.
Can I at least go to the mall
or arcade or something,
get my game on.
There are no arcades anymore.
Besides, I have lots
of games in here.
You got Pac-Man?
I think I have
Ms. Pac-Man on my phone.
Ooh, there's another Pac-Man.
I can play it on a phone.
Man, the future is dope!
How about flying cars?
No flying cars.
Moving sidewalks?
Only in airports.
How come we're not
at the airport then?
Because you're an adult now
and you have responsibilities.
Oh, can you at least drive
me to the mall then, pleeease!
I can't drive yet.
Can I drive?
Do I have my own whip?
You mean a car?
Yes.
Yes.
Well, what do I drive?
Do I have a Porsche?
A Delorean?
A 1979 AMC Pacer.
Who's da Man!
Ha ha ha!
Let's ditch this place and
go pick up some fly honeys.
We've been over this.
You have Career Day.
You can't leave.
[groan]
Besides, if I
finish this helmet,
we can turn you back to your
old self who doesn't beat box
the national anthem
while I'm working.
Fine, all right.
I'll go to Career Day then.
Fine.
Thank you.
Can you at least
get my jacket for me?
[disco music]
[disco music]
Mr. Stockley, if
you get through this,
I promise you afterwards
you can do anything you want.
Can we go to a record store?
I told you, there are
no more record stores.
There are no more records!
Oh, that's right.
It's the future.
Cassette tapes then.
Ow!
[sigh]
Felixwhere are you?
I'm at the assembly trying
not to punch Mr. Stockley.
Where are you?
Hey Felix, dead bug!
Hayley There is a
ton of slime up here.
The Moth must
be close by then.
I gotta get it away from
the assembly before it attacks.
Any ideas?
Do you have anything
you could use as bait?
Hayley That's
a great idea, Felix.
If she wants blood, here it is.
Felix Hayley! Hayley,
no I didn't mean that.
Hayley! Hayley,
don't do anything stupid.
See
just like that.
Feel that the tight rope
and the water glass are real.
If you can see it, it makes
it real for yourself
and the audience.
Right, and where does
the giant moth come in?
Outstanding
suggestion, Angie.
Etienne, a giant moth has landed
on your nose, what do you do?
And go!
[watchcom beeps]
Jake, Hayley needs
back-up now.
What's wrong?
Ah, nothing.
[clatter]
That's definitely not
the air conditioning.
[Moth shrieks]
[fan whirs]
[Moth snarls]
Ahhhh!
[Hayley screams]
[Moth snarls]
[Moth hisses]
[muffled Moth snarls]
[zap, boom]
[Moth shrieks]
[gasps]
Angie Oh, please tell
me you're getting this.
Yes, but I'm going
to warn you right now,
I'm a bit squeamish.
My stomach's already getting
a bitbubbly.
[Moth shrieks]
I'm going to get
Bernardo Suzuki.
He still has time to get
me on tonight's news.
[Moth shrieks]
Felix, I need back-up, now!
On my way, Jake.
[watchcom beeps]
There's a monster fight?
Count Sir Flash in.
Oh no no no, you are not
part of the Troop anymore.
You can't talk like
that to Sir Flash.
I'm the man who coined the
phrase 'Where's the Beast?"
Alright, I don't have time
to argue with you, let's go.
[Moth snarls]
Aaaah!
You stay safe, Mr. Stockley.
I'll be back with
the Magnetometrons.
Forget that, Sir Flash
can not be contained.
[Moth snarls]
All right, sucker.
Who's bad?
Oww!
Oww, oww!
Jake Hey, you
overgrown mosquito,
leave the old man alone!
Stockley Who you calling
an old man, you skinny
Oww, my back!
[Moth snarls]
Over here!
Come over here!
Let it take Mr. Stockley.
He's already lived a full life.
Hey, Mamacita!
Over here.
[Moth shrieks]
Take this.
These Magnetometrons
have opposite polarities
so when we fire,
an electromagnetic wave will
Just shoot the stupid thing.
Sounds good.
[zaps]
[boom, splat]
You'll sure got
some primo weapons.
Back in my day all we had was
a glue trap and a hittin' stick.
Did you get the footage?
I would have appreciated
an 'are you okay?'
but yeah, I got everything.
I got your news chirp
on the KBMU Action-Blog.
Okay, what's all
this about monsters?
Follow me, Mr. Suzuki.
Hayley I'm sorry,
this closet is covered
by janitor-client privileges.
Ah, no no no.
Brace yourself, sir.
The monster, or at least
what's left of it
Where'd it go?
Is this some kind of a joke?
I don't joke.
No sense of humor.
She's not joking.
Oh, but don't worry,
we have it all on tape.
Etienne, show him.
Mr. Suzuki Okay, who's that?
Angie Jake Collins.
A member of so-called Mime Club.
You'll see the
monster right now.
Mr. Suzuki I don't
see anything.
Where is it?
Angie I'm telling you,
we saw a monster.
It's just like Jake said, "If
you make it real for yourself,
you make it real
for the audience."
Oh, but take look
at all this slime.
This is just cornstarch
and sugar water.
It's a handy prop for
some of our mimes and
good energy!
[gags]
Mmm
Mr. Suzuki What is
your name, young lady?
Angela Crabtree.
Well Angela Crabtree,
I'm going to make sure that
you never ever work in TV
or my name isn't Bernardo
Suzuki from KBMU.
Felix Hey, guys.
Listen to this
[Snark gurgles]
[Snark sings]
Wha, what was I
just talking about?
Nothing.
I was a mime audition.
[applause]
Hayley But unfortunately,
we're a three person group.
And ah, we're full.
Okay, well, thanks
for the opportunity.
Maybe next year?
We'll keep you in mind.
Yes!
[Angie huffs]
Well, Jake, I'm impressed.
Obviously you knew the Moth
wouldn't appear on film
because of its
electromagnetic wings.
Oh, yeah.
TroopGrid Quit
man-handling my keys.
Where's Felix?
Now he's got the magic touch.
Feeelix!
What does she think she is,
my mother board?
I don't know what
that means, man.
I'm from 1982.
Can we just do this?
Are you ready?
I am so ready.
The future is nothing like what
they show you in the movies.
Besides, I don't even know
what half the buttons
on this Walkman do.
I wouldn't hold onto
any metal just now
if I were you.
TroopGrid Felix!
In a minute!
TroopGrid Whatever.
This might sting
just a little bit.
[zaps]
[machine winds down]
Mr. Stockley?
[groan]
What year is it?
2010.
Yes!
I'm a genius!
Stop smothering me.
TroopGrid I need to
know where I stand, Felix.
You've got to let
me know, Felix.
It's just not right, Felix.
Hah!
[machine winds down]
Ah!
That felt good.
Um, did you just
break up with a computer?
You're right.
I feel bad.
I'm going to reprogram
it so it was mutual.
[clatter of keyboard]
No.
Uh-uh.