Bucket & Skinner's Epic Adventures (2011) s01e18 Episode Script

1
The sand's, like, 100 degrees.
I know, but we need to make
a break for our towels.
On three. Ready?
Got it.
One three!
Oh! Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
[together]
Whoo!
[together]
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Where did our towels go?
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Oh! Towel.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ah.
Ah.
That's my ice chest.
Potato salad?
I can't believe it's Christmas
Eve and it's 98 degrees.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sorry, but for the last seven years
I celebrated Christmas
like it should be celebrated--
In the snow-capped mountains,
wearing goofy sweaters
decorating the tree
the smell of turkey roasting.
Not ankle-deep in potato salad
on a hot, dry beach.
Dude, I know you're bummed your trip got canceled
this year, but Christmas here
at the beach is just as epic.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Oh, come on. Tell me it wasn't
fun building that sand man.
Not the same.
What about making sand angels?
Aah! It burns! It burns!
Fun, right?
I'm gonna head inside.
Wait. I've saved the best beach
Christmas tradition for last.
Sand ball fight!
Merry Christmas?
I wake up, get in motion
Get me to the ocean, here we go ♪
It's all about the sunshine
and the kind grind ♪
All the girls I walk by, hello ♪
You know that when the storm rolls in ♪
That's when big waves
really begin No worries, bro.
Here we go again
Hey! Hey!
Life is just a barrel,
and the summer never ends ♪
Here we go again
Hey! Hey!
You know it's always epic
When I'm hanging with my friends ♪
Ohh-oh-ohh
Here we go again
Look out!
[laughs]
Oh!
Thanks, Gammy.
Good game today.
Mwah.
[laughs]
Street hockey with my Gammy--
Does it get more Christmassy than that?
I don't feel so great.
Yeah. Sorry Gammy hit you
in the head with her stick,
but she's really competitive,
and you're not very good.
No, it's that Christmas
fruit log she fed us after.
Every year I eat her fruit log,
and every year I sweat, cry,
scream and roll on the floor
having violent spasms. Aw!
Then why do you keep eating it?
Fruit's good for you.
Okay, I need you to close your eyes.
Okay. Open 'em!
Oh, my. Are we at the surf shop
or the North Pole?
Maybe we should ask this Christmas elf.
What kind of Christmas elf are you?
The kind that if she doesn't get paid soon
is going to feed someone this phone.
Elves are fun.
Skinner, I see what you're trying to do,
but Piper in a stupid hat isn't
going to put me in a Christmas mood.
That's too bad, 'cause here comes Santa!
Ho, ho, ho!
Uh, Three Pieces, the real Santa
doesn't have a Fu Manchu mustache.
Yeah, well, the real Santa also
doesn't have a neighborhood cat
who likes to use people's fake
beards as a place to go potty.
A purple Christmas tree?
It's awesome! Let's put
spaghetti tinsel on it.
You missed.
Did I?
Hey, everyone. Who's ready
to get their caroling on?
Almost got the star.
Little more there!
Whoa!
I just gonna get
my backup ladder.
[thud]
See? Festive.
Okay, let's motor!
I think I'll take a pass.
Bucket, don't be a Scrooge.
Yeah, come on.
[singsong] It'll be fun.
It won't be fun. Don't you know
anything about Christmas?
A purple spaghetti tree?
A Fu Manchu Santa?
A s
Go ahead.
Say something. I dare you.
Guys, I'm not going.
I just want to nap, and maybe when I
wake up, this Christmas will be over.
Fine, but just remember,
you're the one who wanted
a traditional Christmas,
and I can think of nothing
more traditional than caroling with your friends.
Let's go, ladies.
[man imitating ghost]
Oooh.
Hello?
Ooh!
Somebody there?
Ooh!
Ooh. That's what ball the ladies
say when they check me out
in my ultra-fly ghost vest.
Oh!
What are you doing here, Aloe? Being awesome.
I'm also here to give you a warning.
What kind of warning?
You have no Christmas spirit.
Your whole attitude is weak--
Like your wardrobe choices.
Mixing purples with greens?
You make it too easy for me, Bucket.
Sorry, but Christmas during a heat wave is lame.
Why even celebrate it?
Because it's important to your friends.
Besides, you're not supposed
to mess with Christmas.
I did and it turned out badly.
What did you do?
Kicked a mall Santa in the shins
because he said I was spending
too much time on his lap asking for gifts.
So? Everyone acts bratty
as a little kid.
It was yesterday!
Respect Christmas, squid.
They might do to you what they did to me.
Which was
They took away my glow!
Look at me. I'm pale.
If I didn't still have my cheekbones,
you'd be witnessing a major hissy fit right now.
Okay, I get it. Can you leave
me alone now please? No.
Tonight you'll be visited by three ghosts,
none of them as hot as me.
They'll try to teach you
the meaning of Christmas.
Listen to what they say.
It's your only shot to not end up like me.
Let's face it. It would
still be an upgrade.
Aloe ghost dance!
[drums playing dance beat]
[beatboxing]
What, What?
You're hearing such a studly apparition ♪
What, what? You're hurting
on my calf definition ♪
Hold on!
[music ends]
This is my dream. Why am I
listening to any of this?
Later.
Wait! I still have
eight more verses!
Whoa!
Kelly!
Why are you in my dream?
I'm in your dreams every night.
By the way, why am I always in short-shorts?
Oh, that's, uh
you'd think I'd have quicker
answers in my own dreams.
I need you to come with me.
Where are we going?
Back to the year 2003. I'm
the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Okay, I gotta say, you are
a much prettier ghost than Aloe.
Hey! I told you
I can't tan anymore.
Why don't you just pull back on all the judgment?
Welcome to 2003.
Recognize anybody?
Whoa. It's us
when we were little kids.
Check out Aloe.
[making revving noises]
Hey, Kel. Have you met
my two new best friends?
Boom! Pow!
Oh, no he didn't.
Aloe, stop showing off and give me my toy back.
Come on, Aloe, quit it!
Oops. Sorry, Bucket.
Not quick enough.
[gasps]
No sleeves. Aloe likes!
Oh, man. I started
that fashion trend?
Why are we here?
To remind you there was a time
you didn't think Christmas at the beach was lame.
Aw, look at tiny Piper-- so sweet, so innocent.
Hey, is she stealing cash from my purse?
Skinner, one day when I grow up,
I'm gonna marry Kelly.
Oh, kids say the weirdest things.
Quiet, kid!
They can't hear or see you.
Kelly, huh? Don't you have
to dance at weddings?
No problem there.
Let's just say the B-man has that covered.
♪
[music ends]
Oh, look.
There's Uncle Three Pieces.
Ho, ho, ho!
I see we have a group of good little boys
and girls here today.
Man, he gave me the coolest toy truck that year.
Sven, grab me the best toy!
Stop it, Aloe!
Bad little boy!
Bad little boy!
[musical jingle playing]
The ice cream man is here!
The ice cream man is here!
Skinner, you're going the wrong way! [Splash]
That was the moment Skinner
learned he loved the ocean.
This was a good day.
See? You don't need snow
to have a merry Christmas.
You just need to be around people you care about.
Yeah, I see your point.
But Kelly?
[fanfare playing]
Hello, Bucket!
Uncle Three Pieces?
You mistake me, sir.
I am not Three Pieces,
but rather, the Ghost of Christmas Present.
Ha ha ha!
Aw, man, my double scoop.
Ten-second rule!
Don't judge me.
What am I doing here?
You're here to see how your behavior has affected
this year's Christmas.
Let's take a look.
Ha ha ha!
You gotta be
Okay, let's just watch.
Okay, now this actually
feels like Christmas in here.
Wait, what happened to Piper?
Well, earlier, when someone was
too much of a pouty Peter
[coughs] Bucket!
To help his uncle steady the ladder,
she finally had to do it, and let's
just say there was an incident.
You fell on Piper?
Let's not name names.
Skinner, it's 100 degrees.
Can we please lose the sweaters?
No. Bucket wants
a traditional Christmas.
That's what we're gonna give him.
Well, where is he? I don't
know, Piper. I'm not magic.
If I was, I'd be able to make this
animatronic Santa stop speaking in German.
[playing atonal Christmas music]
But you never did show, Bucket.
You sat this Christmas out.
But I had no idea they were
gonna do all this for me.
They're your friends.
Where is this thoughtless little mutant?
"Hi! I'm Bucket!
I need a white Christmas."
[chuckles]
I don't sound like that.
"I don't want to go caroling.
I have a tummy ache!"
Kids can be mean.
"Waa! Waa!
I don't want a purple tree.
It's too purple."
[laughing]
I was, uh, trying to fit in.
Next time I see him
I'm gonna smack him with the Yule log.
Ow!
Ow! Quit it. Why is she
doing this to me?
She can't see me. Ow!
I don't know why, but this is really satisfying.
It's here.
Bucket's gonna love this!
Wait till you see what your
friend did for you this time.
Bucket wants a white Christmas?
We'll give him one. Bam!
[whirring]
Whoa! Fake snow. Cool!
Let me see this.
Oh, come on!
She has to see me!
Um, Skinner, who's this?
Sweet! The reindeer made it!
That's a goat.
Well, his name's Ted,
but since we're pretending he's a reindeer,
let's call him Lonnie, huh?
The goat certainly seems to like you.
Well, it's not because
I have bologna in my pockets.
That's for sure.
Okay, Lonnie, that's enough.
Get away from me, you horned devil!
Lonnie! Lonnie!
Whoo!
[all talking at once]
[Bucket] Look out!
Okay, yeah.
You can take off
your sweaters now. [Grunts]
Could this nightmare get any worse?
Aloe goes in!
Ohh.
[fanfare plays] Come on,
Three Pieces, I've seen enough.
Wait. There's a little more
you need to see.
Plus I want to finish
my ice cream. Mmm!
You're gonna be okay, but I don't think you'll
be surfing for a few days.
You know, this isn't all my fault.
Ow! Ow!
And that's how I'd play the drums
if I were ever to become a drummer.
Oh!
Okay, that doesn't have anything to
do with what they were talking about.
Here's some good news.
Three Pieces made it home.
Are you okay, big guy?
That goat was an animal.
An animal!
This is the worst Christmas ever.
Feliz Navidad, middle-class people.
Aloe, you're looking festive.
Every Christmas I go door to door
spreading a very important holiday message.
I find that kind of hard to believe.
Oh, really?
[plays note]
Hark, hear the bells, see my arms swell ♪
Gaze at me now, you have to say wow ♪
Aloe was here, bringing good cheer ♪
Look at my chest, aren't I the best? [Crash]
Now I'll do a back-flip as
the song never leaves my lips ♪
I am very, very pretty,
very, very, very pretty ♪
Hark, hear the bells
Wow. That was
You're speechless.
I get it.
So, Skinner, if we could
complete our transaction?
Let me grab it for you.
What's Skinner doing?
Skinner, what are you doing?
I sold my surfboard to Aloe
to pay for the fake snow
and Lonnie.
Skinner sold his favorite board
so I'd have a white Christmas?
Wait. It gets worse. Mmm.
Oh, look, Kels. We're both
standing under the mistletoe.
Shall we share a kiss for good luck?
I guess we could use a little
luck to turn this Christmas around.
No!
Oh, yeah. This is happening.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Who are you?
Really?
Let's see.
Ghost of Christmas Past,
Ghost of Christmas Present
Picking up a pattern here, genius?
I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future, moron.
[sighs] Let's go.
No, I'm done with you ghosts.
I don't want to see any more.
Darn. If only there were a way
I could stop you from quitting.
Oh, yeah. I'm a ghost.
And even scarier
[supernatural voice] I'm Piper.
Hey, this isn't funny.
[click]
I am so making that my holiday card.
Turn me back. Turn me back!
I'll do whatever you want.
Smart boy. Bring on the future.
[birds chirping]
Nice day.
This doesn't look so bad.
Hey, there's Aloe.
He's done well for himself.
He and his best friend
opened up a fitness center right on the beach.
Aloe and Sven? Nice.
No. His new best friend.
[rock music playing]
Skinner?
Ha ha.
[both] Boom, pop, razzle-dazzle, yo!
Ha ha! You're awesome.
You're awesome.
[together] You're awesome! I know.
After Skinner hurt his shoulder,
Aloe got him into body sculpting
to help the healing.
Skinner got hooked.
Weight-lifting became his only love.
No way.
But what about surfing?
Skinner had no board. He sold it
to pay for your traditional Christmas.
Skinner, don't hang with Aloe.
He's Aloe!
I've secured financing for
three new fitness locations.
Aloe & Skinner's Muscle Mania--
It's going national!
Deal with it! [Laughs] Deal with it!
Ooh. Why is Kelly
touching Aloe?
Guess who?
Let's see-- my wife and the
mother of my six children?
Aloe, Aloe, Aloe, Aloe, Aloe and Aloeina.
That kiss under the mistletoe started it all.
Skinner, why don't you come to
Christmas at our house tonight?
Naw. I don't celebrate
Christmas anymore.
Bucket cured me of that. I'm
just gonna go blast my delts
and hit the tanning salon. I couldn't think
of a better way to spend your Christmas.
Aloe out!
Aloe out!
I never should have bailed on Christmas.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
Piper, tell me I can undo the future.
Tell me there's still time to fix this.
Piper?
Sorry. I was just e-mailing
all my ghost friends
your tutu pictures.
[supernatural voice]
L-O-L.
Can you help me make things right?
Nope. Can't help ya.
No!
Aloe babies!
I'm awake.
I'm awake!
It's still Christmas eve.
There's still time!
Skinner, it's 100 degrees.
Can we please lose the sweaters?
No. Bucket wants
a traditional Christmas.
That's what we're gonna give him.
[horn honks]
It's here!
Bucket is gonna love this!
Skinner! Oh, man,
it's good to see you, bro.
I knew you'd show. Dude, check
it--Christmas just like you wanted.
We have fake snow coming and everything.
Not anymore. I canceled the fake
snow and the goat reindeer.
It's okay, Three Pieces, you can
keep the bologna in your pockets.
What?
Skinner, merry Christmas.
What is it?
Open it.
Sweet! It's my surfboard!
But what about your traditional Christmas?
Forget it. I don't care
about any of that.
Take off the sweaters.
It doesn't matter if I'm not in the snow.
Christmas is about being
with the people you love.
Grizzly hug!
Maybe not.
Skinner, I had the worst dream.
Promise me you'll never spray-tan?
Okay, but promise me you'll
never wear bike shorts.
Yeah. I had a bad dream, too.
You got it.
And, Piper, sorry about your leg.
Here, take my wallet.
It's Christmas.
Who cares?
Thanks, Bucket.
Oh, look, one torn coupon for a haircut.
Yay.
And, Kelly,
Oh! Sweet, unmarried Kelly.
I'm sorry I wanted to bail on you guys.
I'll never do that again.
Aloe in!
Oh!
Uh-oh.
Looks like Aloe and Kels are under the mistle
Where'd my mistletoe go?
Oh, uh, you mean this mistletoe?
Hey! Kiss for good luck?
Merry, Christmas, dude.
Yeah, it is.
Merry Christmas, guys.
Merry Christmas to all,
und to all a good night!
Closed-Captioned by J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
[blows note]
On the 12 everydays of Christmas ♪
My true love gave to me
12 Gammies jammin' 11 ladies shredding
10,000 dollars 9 bologna slices
8 German Santas
7 Kelly short shorts
6 dudes a-surfin'
5 golden Aloes
4 long boards
3 large pies
2 turtle robots
And a taco in a palm tree ♪
Tinsel fight!
[screams]
It's raining spaghetti!
---oOo---