Mr. Bean: The Animated Series (2002) s01e18 Episode Script

1
( music playing )
from Beethoven's 5th Symphony )
( piano plays opening bars
Beethoven's 5th )
( continues playing
- Dah! ♪
- ( cat screeches )
( continues "playing" )
over and over )
( repeating same phrase
( record stuck )
( stammering )
Ohh! ( grumbles )
( phrase keeps repeating )
( music stops )
( blows )
( sighs deeply )
( muttering )
Hmm.
Oh, this is it.
( muttering )
Come on.
( bell dings )
MAN: I'm looking
for a new instrument.
May I recommend
this one.
No, I don't like modern.
I tried.
Oh, horrible!
( plays "Fur Elise" )
- Now, now, now.
- Horrible!
I insist
that you try it properly.
Let me, uh, help you.
No, no, no, no.
No? I insist.
Oh!
- Ready
- Ah
ah-choo!!!
There we are. Go!
( "Fur Elise" ) ♪
MR. BEAN: Aah. Mwah!
( laughs )
( "Fur Elise" ) ♪
with melody )
( singing along
Bravo. Bravo!
- What?
- ( Mr. Bean playing maracas )
rhythmic sounds )
( Mr. Bean making
Whoo!
Cha, cha-cha-cha! ♪
CLERK: Ah-ah-ahem!
- Do you mind?
- Hmm?
( sniffs ) Ohh!
Now, where were we?
You want to try something
Oh, yes, sir.
( muttering )
- No, no, no.
- You'll love this.
You see, it's recorded
what you played.
- ("Fur Elise") ♪
- Oh!
That is clever, ja.
Fifty pounds?
Aah. 150 quids, eh?
- That's--
- ( xylophone ) ♪
- What is this?
- Ooh!
- Right!
- ( xylophone ) ♪
Do you mind?!
Ooh!
( muttering )
What the
- Oh, you've got it now, sir.
- ("Fur Elise" )♪
That's marvelous. Oh!
- ( drum set bashing )
- ("Fur Elise") ♪
Grrr! You there!
CLERK:
You there!
- ( drums continue )
- Oh!
- MAN: Stop that man!
- Oh, noooo!
- Oh.
- MR. BEAN: Aah.
( groans )
Now-- No, no, no. No, no!
- No, no. No!
- Please, sir.
I think I've got
just the thing.
( fanfare plays )
Ahaaaaaa!
That's more like it.
Ohoh!
( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
( continues ) ♪
Huh?
( gasps )
- Oh!
- ♪♪
- Oh
( piano continues ) ♪
♪♪
- Ja, ja.
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
- I'll take it.
( clerk giggles )
Checks? Oh, yes.
- ( chatter )
- ( Mr. Bean gasping )
Oh. Oh!
Oh. Ah!
( mumbling )
Let me see.
- Excuse me.
- ( plays C major scale ) ♪
That is sold.
- CLERK: Where were we?
- MAN: Hello? Hello?
- ♪( scale )
- Here we are.
- What is that?
- ( muffled note on piano )
- What? Oh, no. Oh, no.
- What--?
Ohh, no!
- ( clerk growling )
( Mr. Bean makes noises )
- You see?
- ( muffled note on piano )
You are a charlatan!
- Oh, no!
- You
( mumbling )
Hmm.
Hmm.
Oh, cash!
Well, perhaps we could come
to some arrangement.
( beep )
( "Moonlight Sonata" ) ♪
- Tut-tut-tut!
- Yes, very happy to take--
( muffled note ) ♪
- Hmm?
- Well--
All right.
Thank you.
- MAN: What?
- Tut-tut-tut!
( Mr. Bean mumbles )
I suppose
we could throw it in.
Thank you.
- Tut-tut-tut!
- All right.
- And that.
- What now?
Oh, the candelabra! Ohh!
( mumbling )
Right.
Yes. Thank you.
Very good.
( whining ) Oh--
( beep )
Ooh! You like that, do you?
CLERK:
Oh!
Hmm!
( indistinct chatter )
( sighs )
( muttering)
( key rattling in lock )
- Where do you want it?
- Ohh! ( groans )
Oh!
Come on. Come on.
( men groaning )
( Mrs. Wicket muttering )
- ( men panting )
- ( piano thuds to floor )
MR. BEAN: Hmm.
Try it over here.
- ( both straining )
- Okay, okay. Over there.
MAN: Here we go, then.
Oh, dear.
Hmm. Hmm.
Try--Try there.
( both grunting )
( piano strings ring out )
( mumbling )over there.
Ohhhhh, no!
( grunting )
( metal clanks )
That's it! That's right!
MR. BEAN:
- Right!
- Right back where we started!
I've had enough.
That is it!
Aah.
Ah.
( Mr. Bean laughing )
( plays major scale ) ♪
( muffled note ) ♪
( chuckles )
( muttering )
( grunting )
( dissonant chord ) ♪
Oh! ( laughing, muttering )
( plays major scale ) ♪
( cracks knuckles )
( giggling )
Oh
( repeats one note ) ♪
( laughing, muttering )
of Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
( opening theme
Ah!
( continues Beethoven ) ♪
( plays wrong note ) ♪
( continues Beethoven ) ♪
Ohh!
- Oh, darn it!
- ( plays wrong note ) ♪
( playing faster ) ♪
- ( pounding on keyboard )
- ( angry yelling )
- ( Mrs. wicket muttering )
- ( noise continues )
( angry muttering )
( Mrs. Wicket shouting )
( wheezing, coughing )
( stammers )
MRS. WICKET: Now--
( playing "Gymnopedies" ) ♪
Aaah. Oh.
Oh, lovely.
- ( recorded applause )
- Oh
Eh? Grr!
- ( gasps )
- ( applause continues )
- What?!
- ( applause stops )
( mumbling )
( Mrs. Wicket scoffs )
( exhales )
Right.
( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
- Oh, damn it all!
- ( wrong note ) ♪
All right
( muttering )
Yes
Ah! There it is.
- Ah. Oh--
( doorbell rings )
- Ah.
- Good morning. I-- Ohh!
BOTH: It's you!
Come on in.
Here we are.
Oh!
( both mumbling )
- ( knuckles crack )
- Yes. Play for me, then.
Right.
- Good.
- ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
plays wrong note ) ♪
( continues;
TEACHER: No, no,
you make a mistake.
But I show you.
See?
( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
- Good.
- ♪♪
- ( angry muttering )
- ( wrong note ) ♪
- Nooo!!!
- Arrgghh!
Ohh
♪♪
- ♪♪
Listen.
This is the note.
This is the note.
- Ja.
- ♪♪
Go on. Go on.
- Oh, no, that is all wrong!
- ( wrong note ) ♪
- ( whimpering )
All wrong! Wrong.
Listen.
I have an idea.
Thank you.
Bye.
( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
continues ) ♪
( Beethoven's 5th
( ending chords ) ♪
( ending chords repeat ) ♪
- ( recorded applause )
- ( beep )
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh! Mwah!
- ( recorded applause )
- ( beep )
( door opens )
- ( gasps )
- Mr. Bean!
Oh. Ah
- For me?
- For you.
( applause continues )
( Mrs. Wicket, indistinct )
( music playing )
MR. BEAN: Ohh.