The Troop (2009) s01e18 Episode Script
Vampsters
[mingled grunts and groans]
Mr. Freidberg Okay, people,
keep it down.
Rex I didn't say anything.
You say anything, dudes?
We're just maxing and
chillaxing, Freidberg.
"Maxing and chillaxing", ha.
You guys and your crazy talk.
And those pork pie hats.
You know they used to wear hats
like that back in the day.
You know what they used to call
guys who wore hats like that?
[clatter]
Ahh!
Rex No.
But you know what they
call dudes like you?
[gasps]
Ha ha ha!
[Freidberg screams]
[heavy breathing]
Dinner!
[screams]
Tasty.
Felix Sorry I'm late.
Wild night.
My paladin, Omar the Enlightened
lost five charisma points,
turned into a mushroom, then
things got crazy from there.
When you say 'wild night',
I do not think of
role playing games.
I think of crowded parties,
maybe even a few girls.
There were girls
there, believe me.
Moms don't count?
Pretty sure that
spot's clean by now.
There's clean and
then there's clean.
Oh.
Felix Mr. Stockley cleans
things when he's worried.
Last fall when Nuss threatened
massive teacher layoffs,
I had Mr. Stockley
detail my mom's car.
You could eat off
that thing, and I did.
Mr. Stockley, what's wrong?
You want to keep that hand?
Hayley Must be bad.
Mr Freidberg has disappeared.
I've been assigned
to morning announcements.
So?
It's the culmination of
a life-long dream of mine,
to be responsible for
announcing the milestones
in young people's lives.
Dances, deaths,
Sloppy Joe Fridays.
So what's the problem then?
Stockley I can't
follow Freidberg.
Hearing his voice
is like hearing Mozart,
except not boring.
Mr. Stockley,
as the president of the
Future Inspirational Speakers
of America, I will
help you discover
the great morning announcer
voice inside you.
[beeps]
That's International.
They're sending out
an advisory warning.
They have reason to believe
these guys might be Vampsters.
Felix They're
the Scaff brothers.
They just entered
school last week.
Oh, they're horrible.
Everything is
so EXTREME to them.
Jake They don't
seem that bad.
Beside, what's
a Vampster anyway?
Part vampire, part hamster.
That second part's
so disappointing.
Felix They're
actually quite deadly.
Super strong, fast and they
have the ability to control
people's minds.
And the cheek's capacity's
40 times that of a normal human
and 20 times that of
a competitive eater.
Jake Let's go round 'em up!
Hayley Hey, dude,
it's not that simple, okay.
You have to find their lair
and then destroy the
source of their power.
One of you is going
to have to go undercover,
get close to those guys.
Mr. Stockley, thank you.
Jake, do you think
you're up to it?
What?
Jake!
Mr. Stockley, disguises are
suppose to be my thing.
Just give me five minutes
so I can contact my guy
from the wig store.
Okay, Jake, look, remember,
these are dangerous monsters.
You're really going
to have to play itcool.
What about me
doesn't say "cool"?
Lisa Gold, what's happenin'?
So I was thinking me and
you should catch a movie
Saturday night.
Ah, no.
Dinner?
No.
Snacks?
No.
Come on, give me a shot.
No.
Maybe we shouldn't go out.
Yes.
Darn, you're good.
[boys grunting]
What's up, fellas?
Keepin' it real?
I'm diggin' the hats.
Hey, you're wearin' them kind of
askew, like your head's uneven.
In a cool way.
[boys grunt]
Hey, do me!
[smack]
Aahh!
[chuckles]
Hey, that was pretty good.
Didn't hurt but pretty good.
Is that why you made
that crying sound?
[fingers snapping]
Hey, cool cats.
What's the scene, jelly bean?
Name's Snake.
Don't wear it out.
All right.
Lookin' for some rebels like
myself to ah, rule the school,
you know what I mean.
You know this geek?
This geek?
Yeah, right, I wouldn't be
caught dead with this guy.
[Felix groans]
Then we just found our next
nerd for extreme toilet dunkin'.
Extreme!
How extreme
were you thinking?
Because I trained myself to
hold my breath for exactly
two minutes, one-forty
in toilet water.
Let's just kick his butt!
Wait.
Let's have the new guy do it.
You messin' with
my friends, geek?
Come on, let me have it.
Wow, you workout!
Ow ow!
You're killing me!
Goodness!
You're an animal.
Show me some mercy!
Jake Great, we blew it.
Jake, they're gone.
I know.
Hayley Okay,
let's try it again.
Can we take a break?
We've been at it
for half an hour.
No, Mr. Stockley, we keep
going until you get it right.
Now, good speaking posture,
address the microphone,
andgo.
Good students morning.
Hayley It's okay.
Slips of the tongue
come from worry and tension.
If you're carefree like me,
then nothing bad will ever
happen, Mr. Stinkley.
I meant, Mr. Stockley.
Ahem.
[murmur of students]
This should do a lot
to boost our popularity.
I know I left my
retainer on the tray.
Somebody stole it.
Yeah, I'm sure your spitty
retainer is catching high prices
on the black market.
Right.
Felix Anyway, listen
Yeah, and don't let me
catch you trying
to talk to me again, nerd.
What's the dealio, brosef?
Just trying
ta shake this geek.
[chuckles]
Jake, your paper
is two days late.
Yeah, about that.
I
You don't need his paper.
He gets an A.
What did you say?
I said,
don't need his paper
and he gets an A.
Yeah, you're right.
I don't need your paper, Jake.
And, you get an A.
That was amazing.
I mean, that was Extreme!
How can I repay you?
Just come meet us
outside after school.
We'll hang.
They want to hang!
I'm so happy for you.
[boys grunt]
Hey, Lisa.
Those boots are legit.
Let's hook up some time.
I'd rather crawl under
a burning gasoline truck.
[boys laugh]
Rex No no, wait.
Homeboy,
you can't let the ladies
get you down.
You know what will
make you feel better?
Is getting down on some
of this beverage, bro.
Yeah, yeah, it'll
make you feel killer.
[boys laugh]
Rex Scurry.
What is it?
Just a little something
only us 'bros' get.
You want to be like
us bros, right?
Bro?
Bro.
Bro!
Rex All right!
Boys Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink!
Extreme!
[heavy breathing]
Judging by your heart rate,
your dilated pupils and your
insanely huge buck teeth,
I'd say you drank a synthetic
solution that give you the
temporary powers of a Vampster.
Jake Yes!
And I feel totally awesome.
I couldn't even sleep last
night, I was so pumped.
And I'm not tired
at all, brosef.
Would you stop
calling me that!
Do you know how
stupid you sound?
No.
That's the great part.
Man, I feel like
I could do anything.
Check out how fast I am.
Okay, how fast are you?
Ta da!
I'm Felix.
I'm all "math is good".
Ah haa.
Really funny.
Can I have those back, please?
Okay.
[whoosh whoosh]
Will you stop doing that and
stay out of my box of disguises.
Jake Okay, I'm Audi 5000.
Gotta go hang with my peeps.
Rex did the most awesome
thing the other day
Felix Jake, you should know,
they're not your peeps.
They're Vampsters.
They eatpeeps.
Yeah, whatever.
Are you okay?
I mean, you need to keep
your eyes on the prize.
I mean, people are in danger.
I'm totally focused.
I just figure, what's wrong with
taking advantage of these powers
while I have them.
You're harshin' my cool, bro.
I'm sorry.
I'm just worried about
About me?
I know you are, brosef.
Okay, good talk.
[groan]
Extreme!
[gasp]
Yo yo, Lisa Gold.
Go play in traffic.
[deep inhale]
What time should I
pick you up on Saturday?
Pick me up at eight.
Jake We'll go see a horror
movie and you'll buy me popcorn.
Horror movie
and popcorn, yeah.
Now, get to class.
Class.
All Bam!
You guys see that?
Pretty smooth, Jakey.
I don't know what's in
that drink you guys gave me,
but I've gotta have more.
I have to make this permanent.
Yeah, I think he's ready.
Ready for what?
I think it's time to
show you where we live.
Sweet.
[rip]
[heavy breathing]
Aack!
I can't do it.
Whoa whoa whoa!
What's wrong?
I justI can't tell you.
I'm so ashamed.
Tell me,
our morning announcements
depend on it.
Tell me right now!
Okay.
I was about to give
my valedictorian speech.
Everyone was there
expecting greatness
and then something
terrible happened,
something I've thought
about everyday since.
Pronounce that.
Hm, mis-led.
I pronounced it mizzled.
[sigh]
Mizzled. Mizzled.
Mizzled
Whoa whoa whoa!
Mr. Stockley.
Everyone laughed at me.
And then when they were done,
the sign-language interpreter
explained it to the deaf kids
and they laughed at me.
They could be so harsh.
Let me show you something.
Your hero, Mr. Freidberg.
[recording of Freidberg]
And congratulations
to Debra Hussey for her
prize winning essay,
'Getting To Know Butt, Montana.'
I mean, Butte, 'Getting
To Know Butte, Montana.'
This weekend's football game
[machine clicks off]
He said "Butt"
instead of "Butte".
Mr. Freidberg made
a mistake and he moved on.
And no one laughed at him.
No.
Well, they should have.
[chuckles]
Butt, Montana.
[chuckles]
Got a big ol' Butt, Montana.
Is that a giant
running wheel?
Rex You'd think the humongous
flat-screen TV would be
the first thing people notice.
They always mention the wheel.
I don't know.
You know, bro, we're
running low on Scurry.
I guess I'll finish it off.
Yeah.
You guys keep it
kind of cold in here.
Do you want to be 'chilled'
you've gotta be chilled.
Right, of course.
Trevor Hey, dudes!
Check me out!
Oh, yeah.
I can't believe
you guys live here.
It's like a total fantasy.
But it's not a fantasy, bro.
This can all be yours.
[watchcom beeps]
Rex What's that?
Ah, nothing.
Just a text from my
tanning consultant.
Yeah, rockin' that fake bake.
[garbled shouts]
Extreme!
[watchcom beeps]
So you comin', bro?
Yeah!
Let's go.
famous dudes Vampsters?
Ah-ha.
Jake Even Lee Stanley?
He's a comic book god.
I totally want to be
him when I grow up.
And you will be, dude.
If you're initiated,
you could have anything
you want: girls, powers.
You could be a comic
book millionaire.
Even more famous than
Lee Stanley himself.
Whoa!
So what do you say, Jake?
You had me at
giant hamster wheel.
[boys laugh]
[thumps]
Felix Almost there
Come on door!
[thumps]
I told you the
door was unlocked.
Felix All right
you little pukes,
put your kissers on the floor.
What, too cockney?
I was going for French a little
bit but it would have been 'Oh,
put your kisssours en ze floor!
Hayley Stop!
I don't want to
have to use this.
[whoosh]
[chuckles]
Felix Okay, a little
fisticuffs then.
Why don't we try this
on an even playing field.
What?
All right, boys.
Let's tussle.
[whooshes]
Okay, it was a 57 percent
Jake backwash
so it may not have had
the effect I intended.
Hayley Ew, you couldn't
have told me that
before I drank Jake's spit?
Okay, Jake, a little help
please.
Jake?
Lock them up.
We'll feast on them
after my initiation.
Hayley Jake!
Whoa!
Man, it smells
awesome down here.
Yeah, we added Hurricane
Body Stray to the ritual bath.
Sweet.
So, this is where we do it?
This is it, the source
of all our power.
You immerse yourself
in the ritual bath.
Drink, and you'll become
one of usforever.
It's a brotherhood, dude.
A brotherhood bonded by the
power of Vampster essence
and human blood.
Sounds tasty, bro.
Are you ready to say
"Adios" to lame teachers,
parents and homework?
And say "wassup" to unlimited
power and internal life!
Oh, I'm ready.
[crash, splash]
Dude.
Uncool.
Hayley Come on, Felix,
to the left and forward.
No no, right!
Felix As far as
the ball is concerned,
there's only vomiting
and no vomiting.
Stop where you are!
Felix We can't!
Hayley Look, don't
do this, Jake!
Okay.
We're your friends.
[zap]
[boom]
[heavy breathing]
Thanks.
Crikey, great shot, mate!
Shrimp on the barbee.
Are you Australian now?
Vampsters EXTREEME!
[whoosh, whoosh, whoosh]
[blasts]
Keep them busy!
Um
[zaps]
[boom]
Trevor Dude, that's my bed.
Oh, this is so
not extreme, Jake.
Jake Extreme?
You're part hamster.
It's like the lamest pet of all.
[beeps]
You blew it, brosef.
You could have had it all.
I blew nothing.
You all drink from
a giant baby bottle.
Do you know how
unsanitary that is?
Trevor Ha ha!
Let's do it.
This hamster's got claws!
Really?
[zap]
How 'bout now?
[whoosh, whoosh]
[Jake groans]
[thud]
[groans]
Had enough?
[panting]
Don't like the
heat much, do you?
Not feelin'extreme.
Aah!
[groans]
I had a hamster once
when I was eight.
On really hot days Mr. Snuggles
would just lay there,
totally useless.
[groans]
Two times I thought he was dead.
Turns out, he wasn't
dead at all.
Well, the first
two times, anyway.
Hamsters just can't
take the heat.
[beeps]
Nooo!
[poof, sizzle]
Now that's extreme.
[sizzle]
What the?
Hey, you'll never believe
what happened to Tuck
Oh, maybe you would.
Are you guys okay?
You planned this all along?
You raised the heat
to slow them down,
destroy the power source and
turn the Vampsters to dust.
Jake, you're a lot smarter
than I give you credit for.
Thanks.
Aw, I got sawdust in my blaster.
[tap tap tap]
Felix Wait! Wait! Wait!
Safety.
Well, at least we got
the old Jake back.
Thanks, brosef.
Ah!
I mean, buddy.
Good morning, students
and faculty of Lakewood High.
Today, the cafeteria
will be serving chicken.
Fried chicken and peas
and mashed potatoes.
That's it for today.
Wishing you a wonderful morning,
this is Mr. Stinkley.
Darnit!
Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid!
Mr. Freidberg Okay, people,
keep it down.
Rex I didn't say anything.
You say anything, dudes?
We're just maxing and
chillaxing, Freidberg.
"Maxing and chillaxing", ha.
You guys and your crazy talk.
And those pork pie hats.
You know they used to wear hats
like that back in the day.
You know what they used to call
guys who wore hats like that?
[clatter]
Ahh!
Rex No.
But you know what they
call dudes like you?
[gasps]
Ha ha ha!
[Freidberg screams]
[heavy breathing]
Dinner!
[screams]
Tasty.
Felix Sorry I'm late.
Wild night.
My paladin, Omar the Enlightened
lost five charisma points,
turned into a mushroom, then
things got crazy from there.
When you say 'wild night',
I do not think of
role playing games.
I think of crowded parties,
maybe even a few girls.
There were girls
there, believe me.
Moms don't count?
Pretty sure that
spot's clean by now.
There's clean and
then there's clean.
Oh.
Felix Mr. Stockley cleans
things when he's worried.
Last fall when Nuss threatened
massive teacher layoffs,
I had Mr. Stockley
detail my mom's car.
You could eat off
that thing, and I did.
Mr. Stockley, what's wrong?
You want to keep that hand?
Hayley Must be bad.
Mr Freidberg has disappeared.
I've been assigned
to morning announcements.
So?
It's the culmination of
a life-long dream of mine,
to be responsible for
announcing the milestones
in young people's lives.
Dances, deaths,
Sloppy Joe Fridays.
So what's the problem then?
Stockley I can't
follow Freidberg.
Hearing his voice
is like hearing Mozart,
except not boring.
Mr. Stockley,
as the president of the
Future Inspirational Speakers
of America, I will
help you discover
the great morning announcer
voice inside you.
[beeps]
That's International.
They're sending out
an advisory warning.
They have reason to believe
these guys might be Vampsters.
Felix They're
the Scaff brothers.
They just entered
school last week.
Oh, they're horrible.
Everything is
so EXTREME to them.
Jake They don't
seem that bad.
Beside, what's
a Vampster anyway?
Part vampire, part hamster.
That second part's
so disappointing.
Felix They're
actually quite deadly.
Super strong, fast and they
have the ability to control
people's minds.
And the cheek's capacity's
40 times that of a normal human
and 20 times that of
a competitive eater.
Jake Let's go round 'em up!
Hayley Hey, dude,
it's not that simple, okay.
You have to find their lair
and then destroy the
source of their power.
One of you is going
to have to go undercover,
get close to those guys.
Mr. Stockley, thank you.
Jake, do you think
you're up to it?
What?
Jake!
Mr. Stockley, disguises are
suppose to be my thing.
Just give me five minutes
so I can contact my guy
from the wig store.
Okay, Jake, look, remember,
these are dangerous monsters.
You're really going
to have to play itcool.
What about me
doesn't say "cool"?
Lisa Gold, what's happenin'?
So I was thinking me and
you should catch a movie
Saturday night.
Ah, no.
Dinner?
No.
Snacks?
No.
Come on, give me a shot.
No.
Maybe we shouldn't go out.
Yes.
Darn, you're good.
[boys grunting]
What's up, fellas?
Keepin' it real?
I'm diggin' the hats.
Hey, you're wearin' them kind of
askew, like your head's uneven.
In a cool way.
[boys grunt]
Hey, do me!
[smack]
Aahh!
[chuckles]
Hey, that was pretty good.
Didn't hurt but pretty good.
Is that why you made
that crying sound?
[fingers snapping]
Hey, cool cats.
What's the scene, jelly bean?
Name's Snake.
Don't wear it out.
All right.
Lookin' for some rebels like
myself to ah, rule the school,
you know what I mean.
You know this geek?
This geek?
Yeah, right, I wouldn't be
caught dead with this guy.
[Felix groans]
Then we just found our next
nerd for extreme toilet dunkin'.
Extreme!
How extreme
were you thinking?
Because I trained myself to
hold my breath for exactly
two minutes, one-forty
in toilet water.
Let's just kick his butt!
Wait.
Let's have the new guy do it.
You messin' with
my friends, geek?
Come on, let me have it.
Wow, you workout!
Ow ow!
You're killing me!
Goodness!
You're an animal.
Show me some mercy!
Jake Great, we blew it.
Jake, they're gone.
I know.
Hayley Okay,
let's try it again.
Can we take a break?
We've been at it
for half an hour.
No, Mr. Stockley, we keep
going until you get it right.
Now, good speaking posture,
address the microphone,
andgo.
Good students morning.
Hayley It's okay.
Slips of the tongue
come from worry and tension.
If you're carefree like me,
then nothing bad will ever
happen, Mr. Stinkley.
I meant, Mr. Stockley.
Ahem.
[murmur of students]
This should do a lot
to boost our popularity.
I know I left my
retainer on the tray.
Somebody stole it.
Yeah, I'm sure your spitty
retainer is catching high prices
on the black market.
Right.
Felix Anyway, listen
Yeah, and don't let me
catch you trying
to talk to me again, nerd.
What's the dealio, brosef?
Just trying
ta shake this geek.
[chuckles]
Jake, your paper
is two days late.
Yeah, about that.
I
You don't need his paper.
He gets an A.
What did you say?
I said,
don't need his paper
and he gets an A.
Yeah, you're right.
I don't need your paper, Jake.
And, you get an A.
That was amazing.
I mean, that was Extreme!
How can I repay you?
Just come meet us
outside after school.
We'll hang.
They want to hang!
I'm so happy for you.
[boys grunt]
Hey, Lisa.
Those boots are legit.
Let's hook up some time.
I'd rather crawl under
a burning gasoline truck.
[boys laugh]
Rex No no, wait.
Homeboy,
you can't let the ladies
get you down.
You know what will
make you feel better?
Is getting down on some
of this beverage, bro.
Yeah, yeah, it'll
make you feel killer.
[boys laugh]
Rex Scurry.
What is it?
Just a little something
only us 'bros' get.
You want to be like
us bros, right?
Bro?
Bro.
Bro!
Rex All right!
Boys Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink!
Extreme!
[heavy breathing]
Judging by your heart rate,
your dilated pupils and your
insanely huge buck teeth,
I'd say you drank a synthetic
solution that give you the
temporary powers of a Vampster.
Jake Yes!
And I feel totally awesome.
I couldn't even sleep last
night, I was so pumped.
And I'm not tired
at all, brosef.
Would you stop
calling me that!
Do you know how
stupid you sound?
No.
That's the great part.
Man, I feel like
I could do anything.
Check out how fast I am.
Okay, how fast are you?
Ta da!
I'm Felix.
I'm all "math is good".
Ah haa.
Really funny.
Can I have those back, please?
Okay.
[whoosh whoosh]
Will you stop doing that and
stay out of my box of disguises.
Jake Okay, I'm Audi 5000.
Gotta go hang with my peeps.
Rex did the most awesome
thing the other day
Felix Jake, you should know,
they're not your peeps.
They're Vampsters.
They eatpeeps.
Yeah, whatever.
Are you okay?
I mean, you need to keep
your eyes on the prize.
I mean, people are in danger.
I'm totally focused.
I just figure, what's wrong with
taking advantage of these powers
while I have them.
You're harshin' my cool, bro.
I'm sorry.
I'm just worried about
About me?
I know you are, brosef.
Okay, good talk.
[groan]
Extreme!
[gasp]
Yo yo, Lisa Gold.
Go play in traffic.
[deep inhale]
What time should I
pick you up on Saturday?
Pick me up at eight.
Jake We'll go see a horror
movie and you'll buy me popcorn.
Horror movie
and popcorn, yeah.
Now, get to class.
Class.
All Bam!
You guys see that?
Pretty smooth, Jakey.
I don't know what's in
that drink you guys gave me,
but I've gotta have more.
I have to make this permanent.
Yeah, I think he's ready.
Ready for what?
I think it's time to
show you where we live.
Sweet.
[rip]
[heavy breathing]
Aack!
I can't do it.
Whoa whoa whoa!
What's wrong?
I justI can't tell you.
I'm so ashamed.
Tell me,
our morning announcements
depend on it.
Tell me right now!
Okay.
I was about to give
my valedictorian speech.
Everyone was there
expecting greatness
and then something
terrible happened,
something I've thought
about everyday since.
Pronounce that.
Hm, mis-led.
I pronounced it mizzled.
[sigh]
Mizzled. Mizzled.
Mizzled
Whoa whoa whoa!
Mr. Stockley.
Everyone laughed at me.
And then when they were done,
the sign-language interpreter
explained it to the deaf kids
and they laughed at me.
They could be so harsh.
Let me show you something.
Your hero, Mr. Freidberg.
[recording of Freidberg]
And congratulations
to Debra Hussey for her
prize winning essay,
'Getting To Know Butt, Montana.'
I mean, Butte, 'Getting
To Know Butte, Montana.'
This weekend's football game
[machine clicks off]
He said "Butt"
instead of "Butte".
Mr. Freidberg made
a mistake and he moved on.
And no one laughed at him.
No.
Well, they should have.
[chuckles]
Butt, Montana.
[chuckles]
Got a big ol' Butt, Montana.
Is that a giant
running wheel?
Rex You'd think the humongous
flat-screen TV would be
the first thing people notice.
They always mention the wheel.
I don't know.
You know, bro, we're
running low on Scurry.
I guess I'll finish it off.
Yeah.
You guys keep it
kind of cold in here.
Do you want to be 'chilled'
you've gotta be chilled.
Right, of course.
Trevor Hey, dudes!
Check me out!
Oh, yeah.
I can't believe
you guys live here.
It's like a total fantasy.
But it's not a fantasy, bro.
This can all be yours.
[watchcom beeps]
Rex What's that?
Ah, nothing.
Just a text from my
tanning consultant.
Yeah, rockin' that fake bake.
[garbled shouts]
Extreme!
[watchcom beeps]
So you comin', bro?
Yeah!
Let's go.
famous dudes Vampsters?
Ah-ha.
Jake Even Lee Stanley?
He's a comic book god.
I totally want to be
him when I grow up.
And you will be, dude.
If you're initiated,
you could have anything
you want: girls, powers.
You could be a comic
book millionaire.
Even more famous than
Lee Stanley himself.
Whoa!
So what do you say, Jake?
You had me at
giant hamster wheel.
[boys laugh]
[thumps]
Felix Almost there
Come on door!
[thumps]
I told you the
door was unlocked.
Felix All right
you little pukes,
put your kissers on the floor.
What, too cockney?
I was going for French a little
bit but it would have been 'Oh,
put your kisssours en ze floor!
Hayley Stop!
I don't want to
have to use this.
[whoosh]
[chuckles]
Felix Okay, a little
fisticuffs then.
Why don't we try this
on an even playing field.
What?
All right, boys.
Let's tussle.
[whooshes]
Okay, it was a 57 percent
Jake backwash
so it may not have had
the effect I intended.
Hayley Ew, you couldn't
have told me that
before I drank Jake's spit?
Okay, Jake, a little help
please.
Jake?
Lock them up.
We'll feast on them
after my initiation.
Hayley Jake!
Whoa!
Man, it smells
awesome down here.
Yeah, we added Hurricane
Body Stray to the ritual bath.
Sweet.
So, this is where we do it?
This is it, the source
of all our power.
You immerse yourself
in the ritual bath.
Drink, and you'll become
one of usforever.
It's a brotherhood, dude.
A brotherhood bonded by the
power of Vampster essence
and human blood.
Sounds tasty, bro.
Are you ready to say
"Adios" to lame teachers,
parents and homework?
And say "wassup" to unlimited
power and internal life!
Oh, I'm ready.
[crash, splash]
Dude.
Uncool.
Hayley Come on, Felix,
to the left and forward.
No no, right!
Felix As far as
the ball is concerned,
there's only vomiting
and no vomiting.
Stop where you are!
Felix We can't!
Hayley Look, don't
do this, Jake!
Okay.
We're your friends.
[zap]
[boom]
[heavy breathing]
Thanks.
Crikey, great shot, mate!
Shrimp on the barbee.
Are you Australian now?
Vampsters EXTREEME!
[whoosh, whoosh, whoosh]
[blasts]
Keep them busy!
Um
[zaps]
[boom]
Trevor Dude, that's my bed.
Oh, this is so
not extreme, Jake.
Jake Extreme?
You're part hamster.
It's like the lamest pet of all.
[beeps]
You blew it, brosef.
You could have had it all.
I blew nothing.
You all drink from
a giant baby bottle.
Do you know how
unsanitary that is?
Trevor Ha ha!
Let's do it.
This hamster's got claws!
Really?
[zap]
How 'bout now?
[whoosh, whoosh]
[Jake groans]
[thud]
[groans]
Had enough?
[panting]
Don't like the
heat much, do you?
Not feelin'extreme.
Aah!
[groans]
I had a hamster once
when I was eight.
On really hot days Mr. Snuggles
would just lay there,
totally useless.
[groans]
Two times I thought he was dead.
Turns out, he wasn't
dead at all.
Well, the first
two times, anyway.
Hamsters just can't
take the heat.
[beeps]
Nooo!
[poof, sizzle]
Now that's extreme.
[sizzle]
What the?
Hey, you'll never believe
what happened to Tuck
Oh, maybe you would.
Are you guys okay?
You planned this all along?
You raised the heat
to slow them down,
destroy the power source and
turn the Vampsters to dust.
Jake, you're a lot smarter
than I give you credit for.
Thanks.
Aw, I got sawdust in my blaster.
[tap tap tap]
Felix Wait! Wait! Wait!
Safety.
Well, at least we got
the old Jake back.
Thanks, brosef.
Ah!
I mean, buddy.
Good morning, students
and faculty of Lakewood High.
Today, the cafeteria
will be serving chicken.
Fried chicken and peas
and mashed potatoes.
That's it for today.
Wishing you a wonderful morning,
this is Mr. Stinkley.
Darnit!
Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid!