Family Affair (1966) s01e19 Episode Script
Fancy Free
1
Mr. French, do you know where Uncle Bill
is?
At present, he's engaged on a construction
site in New Jersey.
Then we can't tell him our surprise.
He's always engaged somewhere,
somewhere far away.
Well, New Jersey's only across the river.
Oh, then he won't be away long?
In fact, we expect him tonight for dinner.
It's good manners to express enthusiasm
pianissimo.
Well, they're pretty proud of themselves.
They're not new kids at school anymore.
They're in upper first grade.
Upper first grade?
The school got a bunch of new kids.
They're in lower first grade.
We're students.
We're the older kids.
The young ones are in lower first grade.
Mr. Davis will be very proud.
We got new books.
New reader, new geography, new math.
What's new math?
I think it's like add to and take away,
only harder.
Oh.
Where'd you come from?
You shouldn't wander around out there.
It's dangerous.
You all by yourself?
Oh.
Hi.
Hello.
We're looking for Tim Keating.
Oh, Tim will be back in a minute.
I'm Bill Davis.
I'm Meg.
Oh, Tim's your father?
Mm-hmm.
And her grandpa, huh?
This is Sally.
Hi.
She's just beautiful,
Mrs., uh Miss Keating.
I'm just babysitting.
Sally's my niece.
Oh, Miss Keating, you're an aunt.
Well, that's great.
I'm an uncle.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Oh, hi, Meg.
Well, how's my big girl, huh?
You got a kiss with your grandpa?
Oh, Meg, did you meet Bill Davis?
Indeed she did.
Uh, Dad, you took the keys to the car this
morning.
Oh, now, don't tell me I'm getting
forgetful.
In my old age.
See you later.
All right.
Nice to meet you, Miss Keating.
Meg.
All right.
Will you be home the usual time,
Dad?
I don't know.
Bill and I have got a problem here.
It's kind of hard to concentrate.
Hey, wait now.
Why don't we go to our place
where we can work in peace
and quiet, and then later we
can have dinner with Meg, huh?
I bet you're kind of putting her on the
spot, aren't you?
Oh, there's always a place at our table
for you.
Right, Meg?
Please, be our guest.
What'd she say?
She said yes!
Are you sure this is the reader?
That's what it says.
Then where are Dick and Jane?
We got promoted from Dick and Jane, and
I'm glad all they ever did was run and play.
And watch Spot.
Oh, see Spot.
Oh, see Spot run.
Run, Spot, run.
Hi, kids.
Hi, Mr. Frack.
What was doing in school today?
We got new school books.
Well.
That's good.
Like the fella says, reading books is the
best way to learn all kinds of junk.
Someday, maybe we'll be almost as smart as
you, Mr. Frack.
Well, you just might.
We got put in upper first grade.
Well, sounds like you went right to the
top.
Yes, sir.
We did very good.
Good.
Want to see our new books?
You bet.
Well, well, well, well, well, well.
Say, you two really must be smart.
I got to get going.
Bye, Mr. Frack.
Yeah, goodbye.
Now, you study good.
Because like the fellow said, the difference
between dumb and smart is how much you study.
How much you know.
When I grow up, I'm going to be a window
cleaner.
Well, goodbye, kids.
Bye, Mr. Frack.
Mr. Davis is resident.
Hello, French.
Listen, I'm not going to make it home for
dinner tonight.
We ran into a little problem over here, so
I better stay in Jersey till we get it solved.
Right.
Okay.
If anybody calls, I'm having dinner at Tim
Keating's house.
Very good, sir.
Everything okay at home?
Well, the twins had a little surprise for
you.
They've been promoted to upper first
grade.
It seems they are now classified as
students rather than newly arrived hopefuls.
Well, that's great.
You tell them I'm real proud of them,
huh?
You tell them I'll give them a big hug
when I get home.
Yes, sir.
So I shall tell them, sir.
Buffy, Jody.
Yes, Mr. French.
Yes, Mr. French.
Your uncle sends his heartiest
congratulations and asks us to say he's
very proud of your being promoted to upper
first grade.
Why doesn't he say it himself?
Because he's otherwise occupied in New
Jersey.
Does he?
Half the fun of getting promoted was
telling Uncle Bill.
Hey, you really go for the sailboat stuff?
I sure do.
A couple of friends of mine have really good boats,
and they call me on the weekends to crew for them.
It's exciting.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I used to do that.
I go out in Long Island Sound,
but I don't have time for it anymore.
I'm too busy with the kids.
You're tied down to a family?
I thought you were footloose like me.
No, I'm not tied down.
I just like it that way.
I'd rather be with the kids.
Hey, where's Tim?
Oh, he left about an hour ago,
so we could be alone.
He's trying to be a matchmaker.
Oh.
You see, my brother was married at 23,
and my sister at 20.
Here I am.
I'm doddering and still unspoken for.
Well, Dad's wasting his time.
I'm not about to marry anybody.
What do you got against marriage?
Well, it takes all the fun out of romance.
Tim would put you right over his knee if
he heard that.
I mean, if I want to go out and dance all night,
well, there's nobody gonna lose any sleep over me.
Right.
And if I want to take off any time, any
place, nobody's handcuffing me to the furniture.
Right.
So what are we doing sitting in the living room like
an old married couple with a kid sleeping upstairs?
Should we go out and do the town?
Which town?
You pick one.
Come on.
Good afternoon.
Hi, Mr. French.
Hi.
They don't like upper first grade.
May I inquire why not?
The reading's okay.
So is music appreciation.
All you have to do is listen and stay
away.
And I like geography.
And Spanish.
Si.
Then?
Then?
No math.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Could you explain it to us?
Perhaps you could clarify it for them,
Miss Cissy.
Oh, I'd like to, but I'm loaded down with
homework.
I have to go to the library and then to
Sue Ellen's.
We've got a history report due Monday.
At least 15 pages.
Maybe Uncle Bill will help us tonight.
Mr. Davis is still otherwise engaged in
New Jersey.
He's not coming home for supper.
Oh.
Stay.
in upper first grade.
I don't care.
Do you?
I like lower first grade.
Uncle Bill will maybe think
I think maybe I am.
Uncle Bill wouldn't be proud of us
anymore.
Yeah, that wouldn't be good.
I better try again.
Hi, kids.
Hi, Mr. Frat.
Well, now, what's wrong?
You two act sadder than a weeping Willow
peeling onion.
We're worried.
Well, now, let's not do that.
Because like the fellow says, worrying will
put rotten-looking wrinkles in your forehead.
What's the trouble?
New math.
New math, huh?
Let me see that.
New math, huh?
Well, the numbers look the same.
Oh, yeah, that's a seven.
Do you understand it, Mr. Frack?
Of course he does.
Nobody's smarter than Mr. Frack.
Well, hardly nobody.
Could you help us just a little so we
understand what to do?
Well, I'd like to, but, you know,
maybe you better ask your uncle.
He's away.
And if we don't do new math right, they
might not let us stay in upper first grade.
And Uncle Bill won't be proud of us
anymore.
Okay, let's get at it.
You will help us?
Gee, thanks, Mr. Frack.
Well, when you've missed a good education
yourself, you like to help other people get one.
But let's keep this our own little secret,
okay?
Because if the other kids in the building
found out that I was helping you,
then they'd want me to help them,
and I never would get any windows washed.
Well, now, let's
What is another name for six?
Three and three is another name for six.
Oh, no, no.
That's kindergarten stuff.
What is another name for six?
The right answer must be
half a dozen.
Write it down.
Thanks, Mr. Frack.
We're gonna end up knowing more than the
teacher.
Sure.
Hey, kids.
Kids!
Welcome home, sir.
Hi, French.
Listen, I'm just passing through
Miss Keating's downstairs
double park, so I just want
to get some fresh clothes.
Where are the kids?
I believe they're in their room studying,
son.
Are they all right?
Flourishing.
How are they doing on the new grade?
Swimming, Liz.
We seem to have overcome our apprehension
about the new meth.
Excuse me, sir.
I'll only be a moment.
Fine.
Hey, where are you?
Kids!
Kids, hey!
Uncle Bill!
Boy, we missed you.
Oh, I missed all of you, too.
Are you going away again?
Oh, I'm just going over to New Jersey.
That's not far.
We can talk on the phone.
We can talk on the phone when you're in
Africa.
Yeah, that's right.
Listen, I think it's real great about
school.
French tells me you're doing fine,
huh?
I guess so.
We sure needed your help with new math.
Real rough, huh?
Uh-huh.
But you two worked it out all by
yourselves, didn't you?
Well, now, listen, maybe, uh, maybe
Saturday you could go someplace with Mr.
French and celebrate, huh?
And you too, Uncle Bill.
We could all go to the zoo.
Well, I think you're gonna have to count
me out this time, see?
But that's a real good idea.
You all go to the zoo.
Hi, Mr. Frank.
Hi, kids.
I've been waiting.
Let's get to work.
Yeah.
I'm beginning to enjoy this new math.
Where were we?
Complete each equation.
Equation.
Nice.
Very nice.
Just the two of us.
Right.
Hey, listen.
You think it's right for a couple of six-year-old
kids to be worrying their heads about new math?
No.
Neither should a couple our age.
Oh, I'm not worried.
Not really worried.
It's just, you know, I'm responsible for them if they
get bugged about something, even if it's kid stuff.
It bothers me, too.
Bill, if you're going to worry
about those kids all weekend,
you're sure not going to be
much help aboard the Marianne.
You're going to forget to duck,
and along comes a boom, splash.
Listen, I sail on all kinds of ships all
over the world, including a Cobra schooner
in the South Seas, and nothing's going to
knock me overboard, see?
Fine.
Then we'll go on board Friday night,
and we'll shove off early Saturday
morning, and we'll cruise to Southampton or New London,
and then we'll be back in New York Sunday evening.
How many in the crew?
Six, including the foresters.
It's their boat.
It sleeps six.
The women take the cabin, and the men
sleep up on deck.
Friday night and Saturday night.
Good.
Now I can get home Sunday, and I can see
the kids before they go to school on Monday.
Oh, here we go again.
Kids.
You sound like a mother hen.
I'm sorry.
Bill, how can you travel all over the
world for your company when you can't even
stand to be away from them for one
weekend?
Well, French takes care of them when I'm
away.
Besides, Monday I've got to go to Yucatan
to start a new bridge.
Yucatan?
Then this will be our last chance to be
together for a while.
Just a couple of weeks.
And from Friday night to Sunday night,
if you ever once get that faraway,
worried uncle expression on your face,
I'm going to shove you overboard.
Yes, ma'am.
Well, you won't have to do it,
because this weekend is going to be
strictly for sailing ships and seagoing
adults.
What married couple could suddenly decide
to pick up and go sailing?
If we were married, you'd have
to take little Sonny on a scout
hike, and I'd be home
sewing little sister's party dress.
Right.
And this way, if we feel like sailing off
into the sunset
We sail right off into the sunset.
Thank you.
You want your windbreakers, huh?
Yeah, I want those rubber sole deck shoes.
And we'll have you packed for Yucatan when
you return from the cruise.
What's that?
Oh, from the school, son.
Oh, that's probably their progress report
from the first grade.
Yeah, that says, uh, hey, French.
Yes, sir?
Says, uh, they're doing fine in all their
other subjects but new math.
Oh, no, sir.
She says they had special assistants in
class and they seem to understand.
However, next day their homework is 100%
wrong unless there's marked improvement.
I have no choice but to put them back in
the lower grade.
And they wanted you to be so proud of
them, sir.
Well, maybe I
I know, I'll go and look at their
homework.
Maybe I'll get some clue from that.
Oh, hi, Mr. Davis.
How are you, Mr. Frank?
Congratulations on Jody and Buffy being in
upper first grade.
Oh, you know about that, huh?
Yeah, who would know better?
I was right glad to fill in for you when
they needed help on that new math.
Every day this week, I've been learning
their brains out.
You've been learning their brains out?
Oh, Mr. Frank, I got this note from the
teacher.
Oh, and they're doing okay, huh?
Well, don't thank me, Mr. Davis.
It really is me that should be thanking
them.
You don't understand what
it means to a fellow like me
to have someone like them
look up to him, depend on him.
You wanted to talk about something?
Yeah, Mr. Frack, I really appreciate you
helping the kids.
I really do, and it was very
kind of you, but I just think
that, I think from here on
out, I ought to take over, okay?
Sure, I was just filling in for you.
You'd have been here, I wouldn't have
stuck my oar in.
Oh, I know, sure.
Yeah, but if you ever want me to fill in
for you again, just holler.
Right, I'll holler, Mr. Frack.
Yeah, it's like the fella says.
What good are you if nobody needs you?
So long.
So long.
Hello?
Hello?
Uh-oh, Meg.
Uh, this is Bill, honey.
Listen, um, I'm not gonna be able to go
sailing with you.
Bill!
Is anything wrong?
No, uh, just, uh, the twins need me here.
One of them has the chicken pox.
No, no, it's something called new math, and, uh, looks
like I'm gonna have to straighten them out on it, see?
Uh, Bill, you're not helping my ego any.
I mean, turning me down for a session with
new math.
I know, I'm sorry, Maggie.
It's just one of those times when, uh, I have
to do what I have to do, you know what I mean?
Sure.
Another time.
Bye-bye, Bill.
Sir, may we suggest a heavy sweater aboard
ship?
This time of year, it could well blow up
our Southeaster.
The barometer's falling rapidly.
Yeah, well, you can forget it now.
I'm not gonna go.
New plans?
New math.
Oh, I see.
I'm sorry, sir.
Who are you looking at?
You.
Why?
I look different or something?
No.
It's just that we were at the park.
And we played Sissy Was a Good Fairy.
And I gave them three wishes.
And I wished that Uncle Bill would come.
And Uncle Bill would be home.
And I wished the same thing three times.
And here you are.
There.
Now, where else can a guy like me make
three wishes come true all at once?
Mr. French, do you know where Uncle Bill
is?
At present, he's engaged on a construction
site in New Jersey.
Then we can't tell him our surprise.
He's always engaged somewhere,
somewhere far away.
Well, New Jersey's only across the river.
Oh, then he won't be away long?
In fact, we expect him tonight for dinner.
It's good manners to express enthusiasm
pianissimo.
Well, they're pretty proud of themselves.
They're not new kids at school anymore.
They're in upper first grade.
Upper first grade?
The school got a bunch of new kids.
They're in lower first grade.
We're students.
We're the older kids.
The young ones are in lower first grade.
Mr. Davis will be very proud.
We got new books.
New reader, new geography, new math.
What's new math?
I think it's like add to and take away,
only harder.
Oh.
Where'd you come from?
You shouldn't wander around out there.
It's dangerous.
You all by yourself?
Oh.
Hi.
Hello.
We're looking for Tim Keating.
Oh, Tim will be back in a minute.
I'm Bill Davis.
I'm Meg.
Oh, Tim's your father?
Mm-hmm.
And her grandpa, huh?
This is Sally.
Hi.
She's just beautiful,
Mrs., uh Miss Keating.
I'm just babysitting.
Sally's my niece.
Oh, Miss Keating, you're an aunt.
Well, that's great.
I'm an uncle.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Oh, hi, Meg.
Well, how's my big girl, huh?
You got a kiss with your grandpa?
Oh, Meg, did you meet Bill Davis?
Indeed she did.
Uh, Dad, you took the keys to the car this
morning.
Oh, now, don't tell me I'm getting
forgetful.
In my old age.
See you later.
All right.
Nice to meet you, Miss Keating.
Meg.
All right.
Will you be home the usual time,
Dad?
I don't know.
Bill and I have got a problem here.
It's kind of hard to concentrate.
Hey, wait now.
Why don't we go to our place
where we can work in peace
and quiet, and then later we
can have dinner with Meg, huh?
I bet you're kind of putting her on the
spot, aren't you?
Oh, there's always a place at our table
for you.
Right, Meg?
Please, be our guest.
What'd she say?
She said yes!
Are you sure this is the reader?
That's what it says.
Then where are Dick and Jane?
We got promoted from Dick and Jane, and
I'm glad all they ever did was run and play.
And watch Spot.
Oh, see Spot.
Oh, see Spot run.
Run, Spot, run.
Hi, kids.
Hi, Mr. Frack.
What was doing in school today?
We got new school books.
Well.
That's good.
Like the fella says, reading books is the
best way to learn all kinds of junk.
Someday, maybe we'll be almost as smart as
you, Mr. Frack.
Well, you just might.
We got put in upper first grade.
Well, sounds like you went right to the
top.
Yes, sir.
We did very good.
Good.
Want to see our new books?
You bet.
Well, well, well, well, well, well.
Say, you two really must be smart.
I got to get going.
Bye, Mr. Frack.
Yeah, goodbye.
Now, you study good.
Because like the fellow said, the difference
between dumb and smart is how much you study.
How much you know.
When I grow up, I'm going to be a window
cleaner.
Well, goodbye, kids.
Bye, Mr. Frack.
Mr. Davis is resident.
Hello, French.
Listen, I'm not going to make it home for
dinner tonight.
We ran into a little problem over here, so
I better stay in Jersey till we get it solved.
Right.
Okay.
If anybody calls, I'm having dinner at Tim
Keating's house.
Very good, sir.
Everything okay at home?
Well, the twins had a little surprise for
you.
They've been promoted to upper first
grade.
It seems they are now classified as
students rather than newly arrived hopefuls.
Well, that's great.
You tell them I'm real proud of them,
huh?
You tell them I'll give them a big hug
when I get home.
Yes, sir.
So I shall tell them, sir.
Buffy, Jody.
Yes, Mr. French.
Yes, Mr. French.
Your uncle sends his heartiest
congratulations and asks us to say he's
very proud of your being promoted to upper
first grade.
Why doesn't he say it himself?
Because he's otherwise occupied in New
Jersey.
Does he?
Half the fun of getting promoted was
telling Uncle Bill.
Hey, you really go for the sailboat stuff?
I sure do.
A couple of friends of mine have really good boats,
and they call me on the weekends to crew for them.
It's exciting.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I used to do that.
I go out in Long Island Sound,
but I don't have time for it anymore.
I'm too busy with the kids.
You're tied down to a family?
I thought you were footloose like me.
No, I'm not tied down.
I just like it that way.
I'd rather be with the kids.
Hey, where's Tim?
Oh, he left about an hour ago,
so we could be alone.
He's trying to be a matchmaker.
Oh.
You see, my brother was married at 23,
and my sister at 20.
Here I am.
I'm doddering and still unspoken for.
Well, Dad's wasting his time.
I'm not about to marry anybody.
What do you got against marriage?
Well, it takes all the fun out of romance.
Tim would put you right over his knee if
he heard that.
I mean, if I want to go out and dance all night,
well, there's nobody gonna lose any sleep over me.
Right.
And if I want to take off any time, any
place, nobody's handcuffing me to the furniture.
Right.
So what are we doing sitting in the living room like
an old married couple with a kid sleeping upstairs?
Should we go out and do the town?
Which town?
You pick one.
Come on.
Good afternoon.
Hi, Mr. French.
Hi.
They don't like upper first grade.
May I inquire why not?
The reading's okay.
So is music appreciation.
All you have to do is listen and stay
away.
And I like geography.
And Spanish.
Si.
Then?
Then?
No math.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Could you explain it to us?
Perhaps you could clarify it for them,
Miss Cissy.
Oh, I'd like to, but I'm loaded down with
homework.
I have to go to the library and then to
Sue Ellen's.
We've got a history report due Monday.
At least 15 pages.
Maybe Uncle Bill will help us tonight.
Mr. Davis is still otherwise engaged in
New Jersey.
He's not coming home for supper.
Oh.
Stay.
in upper first grade.
I don't care.
Do you?
I like lower first grade.
Uncle Bill will maybe think
I think maybe I am.
Uncle Bill wouldn't be proud of us
anymore.
Yeah, that wouldn't be good.
I better try again.
Hi, kids.
Hi, Mr. Frat.
Well, now, what's wrong?
You two act sadder than a weeping Willow
peeling onion.
We're worried.
Well, now, let's not do that.
Because like the fellow says, worrying will
put rotten-looking wrinkles in your forehead.
What's the trouble?
New math.
New math, huh?
Let me see that.
New math, huh?
Well, the numbers look the same.
Oh, yeah, that's a seven.
Do you understand it, Mr. Frack?
Of course he does.
Nobody's smarter than Mr. Frack.
Well, hardly nobody.
Could you help us just a little so we
understand what to do?
Well, I'd like to, but, you know,
maybe you better ask your uncle.
He's away.
And if we don't do new math right, they
might not let us stay in upper first grade.
And Uncle Bill won't be proud of us
anymore.
Okay, let's get at it.
You will help us?
Gee, thanks, Mr. Frack.
Well, when you've missed a good education
yourself, you like to help other people get one.
But let's keep this our own little secret,
okay?
Because if the other kids in the building
found out that I was helping you,
then they'd want me to help them,
and I never would get any windows washed.
Well, now, let's
What is another name for six?
Three and three is another name for six.
Oh, no, no.
That's kindergarten stuff.
What is another name for six?
The right answer must be
half a dozen.
Write it down.
Thanks, Mr. Frack.
We're gonna end up knowing more than the
teacher.
Sure.
Hey, kids.
Kids!
Welcome home, sir.
Hi, French.
Listen, I'm just passing through
Miss Keating's downstairs
double park, so I just want
to get some fresh clothes.
Where are the kids?
I believe they're in their room studying,
son.
Are they all right?
Flourishing.
How are they doing on the new grade?
Swimming, Liz.
We seem to have overcome our apprehension
about the new meth.
Excuse me, sir.
I'll only be a moment.
Fine.
Hey, where are you?
Kids!
Kids, hey!
Uncle Bill!
Boy, we missed you.
Oh, I missed all of you, too.
Are you going away again?
Oh, I'm just going over to New Jersey.
That's not far.
We can talk on the phone.
We can talk on the phone when you're in
Africa.
Yeah, that's right.
Listen, I think it's real great about
school.
French tells me you're doing fine,
huh?
I guess so.
We sure needed your help with new math.
Real rough, huh?
Uh-huh.
But you two worked it out all by
yourselves, didn't you?
Well, now, listen, maybe, uh, maybe
Saturday you could go someplace with Mr.
French and celebrate, huh?
And you too, Uncle Bill.
We could all go to the zoo.
Well, I think you're gonna have to count
me out this time, see?
But that's a real good idea.
You all go to the zoo.
Hi, Mr. Frank.
Hi, kids.
I've been waiting.
Let's get to work.
Yeah.
I'm beginning to enjoy this new math.
Where were we?
Complete each equation.
Equation.
Nice.
Very nice.
Just the two of us.
Right.
Hey, listen.
You think it's right for a couple of six-year-old
kids to be worrying their heads about new math?
No.
Neither should a couple our age.
Oh, I'm not worried.
Not really worried.
It's just, you know, I'm responsible for them if they
get bugged about something, even if it's kid stuff.
It bothers me, too.
Bill, if you're going to worry
about those kids all weekend,
you're sure not going to be
much help aboard the Marianne.
You're going to forget to duck,
and along comes a boom, splash.
Listen, I sail on all kinds of ships all
over the world, including a Cobra schooner
in the South Seas, and nothing's going to
knock me overboard, see?
Fine.
Then we'll go on board Friday night,
and we'll shove off early Saturday
morning, and we'll cruise to Southampton or New London,
and then we'll be back in New York Sunday evening.
How many in the crew?
Six, including the foresters.
It's their boat.
It sleeps six.
The women take the cabin, and the men
sleep up on deck.
Friday night and Saturday night.
Good.
Now I can get home Sunday, and I can see
the kids before they go to school on Monday.
Oh, here we go again.
Kids.
You sound like a mother hen.
I'm sorry.
Bill, how can you travel all over the
world for your company when you can't even
stand to be away from them for one
weekend?
Well, French takes care of them when I'm
away.
Besides, Monday I've got to go to Yucatan
to start a new bridge.
Yucatan?
Then this will be our last chance to be
together for a while.
Just a couple of weeks.
And from Friday night to Sunday night,
if you ever once get that faraway,
worried uncle expression on your face,
I'm going to shove you overboard.
Yes, ma'am.
Well, you won't have to do it,
because this weekend is going to be
strictly for sailing ships and seagoing
adults.
What married couple could suddenly decide
to pick up and go sailing?
If we were married, you'd have
to take little Sonny on a scout
hike, and I'd be home
sewing little sister's party dress.
Right.
And this way, if we feel like sailing off
into the sunset
We sail right off into the sunset.
Thank you.
You want your windbreakers, huh?
Yeah, I want those rubber sole deck shoes.
And we'll have you packed for Yucatan when
you return from the cruise.
What's that?
Oh, from the school, son.
Oh, that's probably their progress report
from the first grade.
Yeah, that says, uh, hey, French.
Yes, sir?
Says, uh, they're doing fine in all their
other subjects but new math.
Oh, no, sir.
She says they had special assistants in
class and they seem to understand.
However, next day their homework is 100%
wrong unless there's marked improvement.
I have no choice but to put them back in
the lower grade.
And they wanted you to be so proud of
them, sir.
Well, maybe I
I know, I'll go and look at their
homework.
Maybe I'll get some clue from that.
Oh, hi, Mr. Davis.
How are you, Mr. Frank?
Congratulations on Jody and Buffy being in
upper first grade.
Oh, you know about that, huh?
Yeah, who would know better?
I was right glad to fill in for you when
they needed help on that new math.
Every day this week, I've been learning
their brains out.
You've been learning their brains out?
Oh, Mr. Frank, I got this note from the
teacher.
Oh, and they're doing okay, huh?
Well, don't thank me, Mr. Davis.
It really is me that should be thanking
them.
You don't understand what
it means to a fellow like me
to have someone like them
look up to him, depend on him.
You wanted to talk about something?
Yeah, Mr. Frack, I really appreciate you
helping the kids.
I really do, and it was very
kind of you, but I just think
that, I think from here on
out, I ought to take over, okay?
Sure, I was just filling in for you.
You'd have been here, I wouldn't have
stuck my oar in.
Oh, I know, sure.
Yeah, but if you ever want me to fill in
for you again, just holler.
Right, I'll holler, Mr. Frack.
Yeah, it's like the fella says.
What good are you if nobody needs you?
So long.
So long.
Hello?
Hello?
Uh-oh, Meg.
Uh, this is Bill, honey.
Listen, um, I'm not gonna be able to go
sailing with you.
Bill!
Is anything wrong?
No, uh, just, uh, the twins need me here.
One of them has the chicken pox.
No, no, it's something called new math, and, uh, looks
like I'm gonna have to straighten them out on it, see?
Uh, Bill, you're not helping my ego any.
I mean, turning me down for a session with
new math.
I know, I'm sorry, Maggie.
It's just one of those times when, uh, I have
to do what I have to do, you know what I mean?
Sure.
Another time.
Bye-bye, Bill.
Sir, may we suggest a heavy sweater aboard
ship?
This time of year, it could well blow up
our Southeaster.
The barometer's falling rapidly.
Yeah, well, you can forget it now.
I'm not gonna go.
New plans?
New math.
Oh, I see.
I'm sorry, sir.
Who are you looking at?
You.
Why?
I look different or something?
No.
It's just that we were at the park.
And we played Sissy Was a Good Fairy.
And I gave them three wishes.
And I wished that Uncle Bill would come.
And Uncle Bill would be home.
And I wished the same thing three times.
And here you are.
There.
Now, where else can a guy like me make
three wishes come true all at once?