Gilligan's Island (1964) s01e19 Episode Script

1
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ♪
a tale of a fateful trip ♪
that started from this tropic
port aboard this tiny ship ♪
the mate was a mighty sailing man ♪
the skipper brave and sure ♪
five passengers set sail that day ♪
for a three hour tour, a three hour tour ♪
[thunder rumbling]
The weather started getting rough ♪
the tiny ship was tossed ♪
if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
the minnow would be lost ♪
the minnow would be lost ♪
the ship set ground on the shore ♪
of this uncharted desert isle ♪
with gilligan ♪
the skipper too ♪
the millionaire and his wife ♪
the movie star ♪
and the rest are here on gilligan's isle ♪
[Theme music]
[Jungle boy screaming]
Who's there?
Maybe it's a man-eating lion
or hungry tiger.
But lions and tigers aren't
on deserted islands. Are you?
[Repeated kissing]
It's a boy!
It's a jungle boy!
Wait, no, wait. Kid, wait, wait,
take it easy now.
Wait, wait, don't go away now,
please, please.
[Hooting]
Wait for me, kid! Wait for me!
Hey, wait for me. Don't go away,
kid. Here I come, kid!
[Hooting]
Ah. Professor, that works great.
Just like a regular fan.
Better. You don't get bills from
the electric company each month.
Yeah! Why don't you get it patented?
I wrote to Washington, but I don't think
the bottle ever got there.
Skipper! Skipper, skipper.
You should've seen him.
Swinging from tree to tree.
- Who, gilligan, who?
- A jungle boy.
One minute he was there, then he
was gone. Then he was back.
I'm glad he got back.
I was beginning to miss him.
There's a boy out there, honest, skipper.
Oh, gilligan. Me, Tarzan.
You, Jane. Him, boy.
The boy's about this tall,
kind of hard to tell.
He's always swinging through the trees.
Gilligan, once and for all, I have had it!
- Had what?
- Your fantastic stories.
Are you sure it wasn't a monkey?
A monkey is real short and has
hair all over it and goes..
[Hooting]
Well, gilligan, I've never
seen you look so natural.
Now we've searched this island,
and there is nobody else here.
He's out there, I can prove it.
Just follow me.
I do not believe you. This time,
I gonna make you admit that
you don't believe you either.
Huh?
This is where I found him.
I think he lives in that tree.
Well, why don't we knock on
the tree and see if he's home.
Skipper, I saw him honest.
He was right on this spot
a little while ago.
Well, obviously he's not here
now, so let's go back.
Wait a minute, honest, skipper.
I saw him. Boy! Oh, boy!
There he is.
[Bird chirping]
Gilligan, you didn't tell me
that he had feathers.
Honest. I just saw him.
Boy. Oh, boy.
I hear him. I hear him. I hear him.
He's back in the tree.
Gilligan, that wasn't even a boy bird!
[Repeated kissing]
Don't do that, I know you're not there.
Well, where were you
when I needed you?
- Skipper.
- Skipper.
- Anybody.
- Anybody.
- Don't do that.
- Don't do that.
What do you know, little sir echo.
(Gilligan) Huh? No, look I
don't have time to play catch.
Look, I got to take you back to camp.
Come back with me to camp.
Do you understand?
No, you don't understand.
Listen, you know, come back..
'No, we're not going
to get any place this way.'
you want to play follow the leader?
Okay, five minutes, then I got
to get back to camp, okay?
'Hey, kid wait, for me.'
[yodeling]
[Air hissing]
Watch it. Look out!
What's that?
[Hissing continues]
Wait till skipper sees this
and wait till he sees you.
Give me the rock, and I'll cap
it. No, the rock. See, the rock.
Thanks. Thanks..
Alright, come on, let's go back to camp.
You know, follow the leader?
Remember? Follow the leader?
Remember? This way, come on.
[Laughs]
How much longer, Mary Ann?
We're almost to the rinse cycle, skipper.
Sometimes, I think the professor
invents too many things.
Ha, ho! This is the way
we wash our clothes ♪
wash our clothes wash our clothes ♪
this is the way we wash our clothes ♪
so early in the morning ♪
Mr. Howell, would you like it
if I put you in the driver seat?
Sir, are you suggesting
that I stoop to manual labor?
Congratulations!
You got it right the first time.
Would you ask a man
with a chronic sacroiliac
and a strangulated disk
to do a thing like that?
- You got all those things?
- Don't evade the issue.
- Alright, gilligan.
- I made it.
Come on, frank bucks, stand up straight.
- You got to help me, skipper.
- It's no use.
The skipper is an enemy
of medical science.
His back is fine. It's his head
I'm worried about.
Still having those hallucinations?
Nope! Found the jungle boy,
found a gas that floats things.
We played around and came back.
- A jungle boy?
- Yes. Like the one over there.
Gilligan, if you say
jungle boy once more I'll..
A jungle boy!
- He said it. I didn't.
- You did?
Well, obviously since
there is a jungle boy.
How about you, Mary Ann.
Do you see it too?
It's not an it, skipper.
It is a boy. It's a jungle boy.
And I suppose that if I turn
around, I'll see it too.
I see it! Come on, gilligan, let's grab him.
- No, skipper, don't.
- Why not?
He swings like a monkey, swims
like a fish, runs like a deer.
- I don't want that again.
- One attribute I have is charm.
Children simply adore me. They
think of me as a rich uncle.
Yes. Come here, jungle boy.
'Uncle thurston ho well III would like'
'to leave you a little something in his will.'
come here, boy,
and that's an order! Heel!
Mr. Howell. That wouldn't
even work on a cobra.
Cobras indeed, the boy obviously
has gone to the wrong school.
Hi.
Come on, honey.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
Come on.
I say she's charmed the little nipper.
How'd you do that, Mary Ann?
When fishing for boys,
the proper bait is girls.
Good work. Maybe he can tell us
how to get off the island.
How long have you been here?
"'How close are we to Hawaii?
How can we get off this island"
is-land?
No, you don't seem to understand.
Now, you tell your
uncle thurston how to get off
this ridiculous island
and when we get back
I'll give you a substantial
reward like matched luggage.
Lug-Gage?
I don't think he understands
what you're saying.
Say-ing.
Maybe he has some information
that'll help us
get off the island.
We've got to all try
and communicate with him.
Come on, young fella..
[Clamoring]
I won't declare.
'What's your name?' - Name.
No, let me try it, huh?
Since I'm not doing any good.
Mary Ann.
- Mary Ann.
- No, no.
No, no.
I'm afraid we'll have
to start with the basics.
Girl. Boy.
Girl. Boy.
Girl. Boy.
Girl. Boy, boy, boy!
Oh, dear, I do wish I paid more attention
to those Tarzan pictures.
Got to make you look presentable.
Y-Your hair is just a mess.
Hm. I guess we better
let you look like you.
There. Here, see how you like it.
[Screaming]
First things first, little boy.
And the first thing is manners.
- Manners.
- Right.
That means the fork
or spoon on the outside
is the one that you use first.
Like this.
No, lovey, no. Definitely not.
Thurston.
No, lovey, you can ask
a man just so much.
But it's the only way I can
get him out of the tree.
No, dear, no.
Well, alright, thurston, if you say so.
But after all, you're
a great big grown-up man.
- And he's just a little boy.
- Well, alright.
- 'I'm afraid he'll fall out.'
- 'Oh, he's right at home.'
he'll be alright.
In new port beach, one doesn't
sleep out in the backyard.
Mrs. Howell, he's probably been sleeping
'like that since he was this big.'
[Air hissing]
Here, now watch this. Ready, go.
[All laugh]
I don't understand this, but I
have to admit you were right.
It's really something, huh?
It appears to be both
odorless and colorless.
You can't see it or smell it.
Isn't that what I just said?
(Skipper) 'Oh, never mind, professor.
Young Tom Edison, you know.'
because of its buoyant
qualities, I'd say it's either
hydrogen or helium
or a combination of both gases
and or their properties.
I agree completely.
What do you mean you agree?
You didn't understand what he said.
Right. So that's why I should agree.
Don't they use helium
to blow up dirigibles
and balloons and all that..
Did someone say there's
helium on this island?
Helium or hydrogen.
What an opportunity. I can see
it now. I'll form a new company.
Howell's helium and
hydrogen corporation.
Please, Mr. Howell, we've got
important problems to solve.
Oh, what's more important than
money? Oh, I can see it now.
I'll put it up in fifths, quarts, magnums.
And before I'm through, I'll
have the whole country gassed.
What an issue, it floats.
[Everybody laughs]
'You know what we're gonna do?'
we're gonna use that gas
to inflate a balloon
and float one of us to civilization.
Professor, there's a place for a
man like you in my organization.
- I'll take my hat off to you.
- Professor, me too.
The professor's a genius.
Just a few hours ago
this contraption was a washing machine.
And now, it's a sewing machine.
I hope it works.
Sure it will.
Soon as we sew those raincoats together
the professor seals them
with sap from a rubber tree
we'll have our own island airlines
'leaving from gate number one.'
- coffee, tea, or milk?
- Coffee, tea, or milk?
I'm practicing to be a stewardess.
- Well, here I am. Last load.
- Where are the other raincoats?
Ah, they're underneath,
it was easier to carry.
- Whose raincoat is that?
- Oh, it's mine.
It shrunk during the rain.
Ah, she's holding the helium very well.
This is going to work out
better than I expected.
Looks like a trench coat for an octopus.
Gilligan, you make sure
those lines are secure.
'I don't want it to float away
before she's ready.'
make the other end of this line secure.
Yes, sir.
Gilligan, may I have my end of the line?
You got the short end. You
should've the long end like me.
What are you, some kind
of a knot or something?
Well, give me some line.
Alright, gilligan, secure the line.
[Screaming]
My finger.
Ah, Mr. Howell. How you
doing with the basket?
If I'd known the ballast
was gonna be this heavy
I wouldn't have volunteered
for the job. Uh-uh, professor.
'Skipper, come here a moment.
I-I have a brilliant idea!'
get around the other side where
you can see what you're doing.
Aye, aye, sir.
Why don't we tie the provisions
on instead of the ballast?
That way we'll be killing
two birds with one rope.
Speaking of minds, where is gilligan?
[Snake charming music]
He's inside the balloon. C'mon.
(Professor) Wait a minute,
skip. Let me cap this helium.
- Got you. Got a foot skipper?
- Yeah.
Come down out of there, gilligan.
Oh, by George, that boy. Watch it.
Duck your head, that's it.
- To the left.
- Goodness sakes, gilligan.
How do you do these things!
Now let's put him on that
rock over there, professor.
Now stay right there
and stay out of trouble!
Let's check that balloon.
See if he did any damage.
(Skipper) 'Gilligan, come down
here. We've got a lot of work to do.'
I'm going back up again.
Only one thing I can think of.
That artificial respiration
just squeezed the helium out of him.
You mean like this?
[Exhaling air]
Are you alright, little buddy?
Did I hurt you?
Next time, lets just shake hands!
(Skipper) 'I still say, I'm the
one who goes in the balloon.'
(professor) 'I thought
we agreed to use logic.'
(skipper) 'It's logical
for the captain to go.'
(Mr. Howell) 'Well, I'm the richest
man here, and I have something to say.'
- what kind of logic is that.
- The best logic, money.
Gentlemen, we got to reach a decision!
It's a cinch you three can't go up there.
- Well, I know navigation.
- I know air currents.
And I know the presidents
of five major airlines.
- I know, I'm not going up.
- What do you mean?
It'll be comfortable with ginger
as the stewardess
the skipper as the pilot,
the professor as navigator.
I'll be more than comfortable.
I wish you'd listen. Only one
person can go in this balloon!
One person? No bubbly? No movies?
Oh, my god, that's a tourist flight!
- Exactly!
- Exactly, then count me out!
Skipper, then it's between you and me.
- Why not draw straws?
- Of all the stupid ideas.
Why's it stupid?
Why did you say it was stupid, gilligan?
- But skipper..
- I as holding the straws!
- Oh, no! No, you won't!
- No, no, no.
I just happen to have two straws
see! The short one goes.
Good enough? Good enough?
There you are.
- Ready?
- Ready.
I won, I won, I won!
Ha ha ha. I won I think.
Remember to call my broker, alright?
- The minute I land, Mr. Howell.
- Alright.
And you'll call my agent?
Got his number right in my pocket.
Don't forget to send somebody back.
Gilligan, that's why
I'm going, remember?
Sure, I remember. I just
hope you don't forget.
'Everybody, listen.' - Uh, Roger.
That's air force talk, wild blue yonder.
- Oh, Roger!
- I'll control the guide line.
That'll get the balloon clear of the foliage
and make sure he's headed
in the right direction.
If you land in London, mention
my name to the royal family.
They'll put you up.
You and Mr. Howell steady the side lines.
'Be ready to let go when I yell.'
Roger.
Gilligan, cast off that side line.
(Professor) 'I'll start the countdown.
Five, four, three, two, one.'
I guess it's still too heavy, professor.
I'll throw off a little ballast.
Good luck, skipper.
(Together) 'Bon voyage.'
Pull the balloon back down!
We haven't six claws,
I mean really, lovey.
I can't stand a Unsuccessful..
Our first experiment was perfect.
Except, of course, for one minor detail.
- It failed.
- I know.
But that's just because
the cargo was overweight.
That's you, skipper.
Quiet, the professor's trying
to explain something to us.
Go ahead, professor.
So with the weight problem eliminated
everything else has
worked out scientifically.
I've computed the cross-pacific
air currents
the rotation of the earth,
our latitude and longitude
and the jet stream which
goes directly to Hawaii.
He wore out two whole pencils.
The balloon has to rise
to a height of 300 feet
'to catch the air currents.'
which means it can carry
20 pounds of provisions
or 90 pounds of human cargo
with complete safety.
Ninety pounds?
Oh, no, you don't.
We-we'll give the lad flight pay.
Oh, I assure you,
he'll be completely safe.
'We can put a note in his pocket
explaining our situation.'
professor's got a point.
You can't send that boy up in a crate.
She's got a good point too.
Well, it'll sail itself.
There's no navigation problem.
You got a good point too.
Aren't you suppose to test
these things or something?
Mrs. Howell's got a good point.
The flight will make the lad famous.
Mr. Howell's got a good point too.
Gilligan, not everyone
can have a good point.
You don't have to agree with everyone.
You know something, skipper?
You got a good point too.
Besides, I don't see why anybody
should go up in that balloon.
We have to put a rescue note in
it and let it go up by itself.
(Everyone) Gilligan,
good point. Great idea.
(Professor) 'Absolutely wonderful.'
I put everything I could think
of into this rescue note.
So did I, as we know about
longitude and latitude.
And I offered a generous
reward for our rescue.
I knew you would, lovey. My note
reads, double previous offer.
Skipper, professor, the boy
is gone! He's disappeared.
Maybe he went to where he used
to live to get a few things!
What'd he have, a formal loincloth?
- I wonder.
- You wonder what?
Well, he knew we were talking
about him and the balloon.
- Oh, no, he wouldn't do that.
- Oh.
'The balloon is gone, it's gone!'
is it caught in the trees anywhere?
It's terrible.
Oh, he sure must have used
a sharp knife!
- These are cut clean through.
- Oh, that poor boy.
I assure you, Mrs. Howell,
he'll be perfectly safe.
Not only that, we'll all be rescued!
Because when they find him,
he'll tell 'em about us.
He'll tell 'em about the island.
He'll tell 'em to send a boat..
Gilligan. How is he going to tell them?
He'll just say, boy-boy, girl-girl No-no.
Gilligan, I keep telling you
it was not your fault!
- Yeah, but I found him.
- We'd found him eventually.
How 'bout the helium?
Gilligan, if there is any blame,
we should all share it.
We knew he was listening
when we were talking about it.
(Man on radio) 'Ladies
and gentlemen, we interrupt'
'our regularly scheduled program
for a special announcement.'
- shh.
- I didn't say anything.
Well, you were just about to, now shh.
"(Man on radio) 'A most miraculous
and unusual event has happened"
'an unidentified boy
in a balloon made of raincoats'
"'has landed on the deck of a
United States aircraft carrier"
- he made it! Hey, everybody!
- He made it! Everybody!
- What is that? What is that?
- Listen.
(Man on radio) 'Of course, the
mystery will remain with us for years'
'for it will take that long
to find out who he is'
'or where he came from
since all he can do is mimic.'
- he could use a fork.
- Why, he can comb his hair.
(Man on radio) 'Obviously, he
didn't make the balloon himself.'
the boy's a pilot, not an inventor.
'He had help but whom?' - Who.
(Man on radio) 'So far, all we've
been able to get out of him is'
'boy-boy, girl-girl, no-no.'
that's about all they'll
ever get out of him too.
After he grows up and goes
to school and college
he'll be able to talk real good.
- But that'll be ten years.
- Anything else, gilligan?
Mm-hmm. You, skipper.
Him, professor. Me, nut.
Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪
they're here for a long long time ♪
they'll have to make the best of things ♪
it's an uphill climb ♪
the first mate and his skipper too ♪
will do their very best ♪
to make the others comfortable ♪
in their tropic island nest ♪
no phone, no lights, no motor car ♪
not a single luxury ♪
like Robinson crusoe ♪
it's primitive as can be ♪
so join us here each week my friends ♪
you're sure to get a smile ♪
for seven stranded castaways ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪