Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e19 Episode Script
The Bank Account
1
(students milling about)
Wally, why do you have to leave school
at lunchtime to get Dad the jacket?
This way, we can buy the jacket
and still back in time to put
the rest of the money in the bank account.
(paper sack rustling)
I sure hope the assistant principal
Mr. Bloomgarden doesn't catch us sneaking out.
Well, we'll go out the girls' entrance.
He never watches that door.
Wally, why doesn't he watch the girls' entrance?
'Cause girls never do anything bad.
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[announcer] Leave it to Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
(door opens)
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Mom, hi, Dad.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You got home early today, didn't ya?
Yeah, things were a little slow so I took a powder.
(audience laughing)
Well, that means he ducked out, Beav.
What's in the package?
Your father picked that up for you on the way home.
Oh, boy, I bet it's extra track for my electric train.
(pig scraping cardboard box) (audience giggling)
What is it?
Well, boys, it's a piggy bank.
Yeah, I guess that's what it is, all right.
(audience laughing)
Your father thought you could
start saving your dimes and quarters in it.
I thought it was about time
you started learning about thrift.
Now, you feed this pig every day
and you'll be surprised how fat he grows.
Look, I have a quarter, now I'll start you off.
(coin plinking into piggy bank)
Now, here's half a dollar.
(coin plinking into bank)
Well, what about you boys?
Well, I guess I've got a couple of dimes here.
(melodic oboe music)
(coins plinking into piggy bank)
(audience giggling)
Well, I guess I've got five cents.
But I was going to give it to Larry Mondello
for a horse tooth.
(audience laughing) He founded it in the street.
Well, come on, Beav, everybody else put something in.
(melodic oboe music)
(audience laughing)
(coin plinking into piggy bank)
Now, you see?
You've got a dollar in there already.
Sure, you keep that up and before you know it
you'll have a small fortune.
Okay, thanks a lot, dad.
Sure.
Supper will be ready in a little while, boys.
(door closing)
Wally, I got a great idea.
[Wally] What's that?
Let's break the pig open and spend the dollar.
(audience laughing)
I don't know, Beav.
Let's keep putting money in for a couple of months,
and then we'll break it open.
(audience laughing)
Okay.
I can hardly wait til it's a couple months from now.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
(melodic orchestral music)
(coins shaking inside piggy bank)
(audience laughing)
We must have a couple pounds of money here.
Yeah, we're gonna need a lot.
That catcher's mitt I'm getting costs eight bucks
and the fielder's mitt you're getting costs $5.98.
Honestly, these socks.
I don't know how Wally and the
Beaver wear them out so fast.
Oh, that's no problem for a boy.
Boys have lots of systems for wearing out socks.
Carrying marbles in them or playing basketball
without their shoes on.
(chuckles) I used to strain gas
from my outboard motor through mine.
(audience laughing)
Oh, there's no problem wearing out socks
if you really put your mind to it.
(audience laughing)
I'm afraid that one's too far gone.
Well, there's one I can fix.
You know, you're quite the little mother.
Well, there were two practical things
I learned in boarding school.
One was how to mend socks
and the other was how to make a court bow
in case I married a foreign diplomat.
So far I've only had a chance to mend socks.
(audience laughing)
Oh, that's tough luck.
But that's the way the ball bounces.
(audience laughing)
Must be reassuring, though, to know that
if the queen ever does drop in, you'll be ready.
(audience laughing)
- Yes.
Have you noticed how quiet Wally
and the Beaver are tonight?
Yeah, I have.
Think I'll see what's up.
Well, I'd think you'd be glad they're quiet.
Oh, no, I remember the things
my brother and I used to do when we were quiet.
I don't want them planning to do things like that.
(audience laughing)
Well, if the silence bothers you,
go on up and put a stop to it.
(audience laughing)
- I will.
(melodic flute music)
It sure is a swell fielder's glove.
In the ad, it says it's the kind Babe Ruth used to use.
Yeah, I know.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
- Wally?
- What?
Who's Babe Ruth?
Oh, he was before your time.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
I think he was a little before my time, too.
(audience laughing)
(door opens)
Hi, fellas.
- Oh, hi, Dad.
- Hi, Dad.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
[Ward] So whatcha doing?
Oh, nothing.
Well, I see.
Well, you're pretty busy at it, aren't you?
(audience laughing)
[Beaver] We're just getting some money out of our bank.
Yeah, Dad, I'm going to buy an eight-dollar baseball glove
and Beaver's going to buy a $5.98 one.
Well, gee, fellas,
I thought you both had baseball mitts.
Yeah, but Wally doesn't wanna play first base anymore
and the stuffing's coming out of mine.
Well, that's just a little rip, that can be sewed.
Probably another of the useful arts
your mother picked up at boarding school.
(audience laughing)
But, gee, Dad,
I'd feel kinda silly behind home plate
with a first baseman's glove.
Well, now, look boys.
It's your money. (Chuckles)
You saved it and I'm not going to try and tell you
what you oughta do with it.
You spend it any way you want.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
Wait a minute, Beav.
I don't think Dad thinks we oughta buy the glove.
Do ya, Dad?
Well, now, if you ask my advice,
well, take me for instance.
I'm going hunting this next Saturday with Mr. Dennison.
And I'd like to have a new hunting jacket.
My old one's six or seven years old.
But I'm not going to go out and buy a new one.
But if we oughtn't to buy the gloves,
what do you think we oughta do with the money?
Well, tomorrow is bank day at school.
If I were you, I'd take this over
and put it in my bank account.
You're going to be going to college one of these days.
You'll find that money will come in
mighty handy then. (Laughs)
'Course I want you to think it over
and make up your own minds. (Audience laughing)
I won't interfere.
(audience laughing)
I think I'm going to have to start getting up earlier.
You say that every morning.
Yeah, well, one of these morning's,
I'm going to do it, too. (Audience laughing)
Where are the boys?
They're up getting their books.
They've already had breakfast.
I hope they take my advice
about putting that money in the bank.
Now, Ward, you told them they could do
whatever they wanted to with their money.
Now let them.
Well I intend to.
And it's going to be very interesting to see
whether they're up to handling their own money yet.
(shoes clunking on stairs)
Bye, Mom.
(lunchbox clanging)
Bye, Mom, so long, Dad.
Hey, fellas, what's in the paper sack?
Looks kinda heavy.
Oh, we've got our money in there, Dad.
Yeah, today's bank day.
We're gonna take it down and put it
in our school bank account.
Yeah, we give it to Mrs. Raeburn
and she posits it for us.
(audience chuckling)
Gee, Dad, we've almost got $32 in there.
Yeah, we counted it twice.
Well I think that's fine, boys.
Better wear your jackets today.
Okay, Mom.
Bye, Mom, and I'll go easy on my socks today.
(audience laughing)
Oh, don't look so smug.
Oh, don't you think you might've let them
buy the baseball gloves?
Well, June, I didn't tell them
they had to put that money in the bank.
It was entirely their own idea.
(audience laughing)
They'll thank me for it someday.
(audience laughing)
Wally, get my jacket for me, will ya?
Hey, what's this?
I don't know, maybe it's something.
Mom was going to give away.
Hey, I know what this is.
This is Dad's old hunting jacket.
Sure doesn't take very good care of his stuff, does he?
(audience laughing)
Well he said he'd had it for eight years.
He's done a lot of hunting in this jacket.
(sniffing) I think he's done some fishing
in it, too. (Audience laughing)
You'd think he'd buy a new one.
(zipper zipping)
Well, you can't, Beav.
When you're an older person,
you can't throw away your money on things like this.
You gotta throw it away on food
and furniture and junk like that.
(audience laughing)
What do you think?
Well, Dad's always buying us stuff.
Maybe we could use a little of the money
and buy him a new hunting jacket.
There'd still be plenty left over for the bank.
Sure, a jacket like this couldn't cost more
than a good catcher's mitt. (Audience laughing)
(melodic orchestral music)
(bell clanging)
(students milling about)
Wally, why do you have to leave school
at lunch time to get Dad the jacket?
Well, this way, we can buy Dad the jacket
and still get back in time
to put the rest of the money in the bank account.
(paper sacking rustling)
I sure hope the assistant principal
Mr. Bloomgarden doesn't catch us sneaking out.
Well, we'll go out the girls' entrance.
He never watches that door.
Wally, why doesn't he ever watch the girls' entrance?
'Cause girls never do anything bad.
(audience laughing)
(melodic orchestral music)
(feather duster rustling)
(door opening)
Well, Ward.
(door closing)
I didn't expect you home for lunch.
No?
Who did you expect? (Audience laughing)
Shouldn't that be "whom did you expect"?
Well, "who" or "whom", you're stuck me.
I was in the neighborhood looking at some property
for the office.
Can I fix you some lunch?
No, don't bother.
Oh, on second thought,
if there's any of that roast beef left,
you might warm up a couple slices of that.
You'll like it much better cold, dear.
(audience laughing)
- I'm sure I will.
(telephone ringing)
Hello.
Oh, Mrs. Raeburn.
I'm calling about Wally and Theodore.
I understand they left the school grounds
at lunchtime without permission.
They told the teachers they were going shopping.
Shopping?
Oh, incidentally, Mrs. Raeburn,
did the boys make a deposit
in their school account this morning?
Well, I'd appreciate it if you would check.
(audience tittering)
(pages turning)
No.
No, neither of the boys made a deposit.
Were they supposed to?
Oh, no, no, not exactly, no.
Well, I'll certainly speak to them
when they get home tonight
about leaving the school grounds without permission.
And thank you very much for calling.
Bye.
(orchestral string music)
It'll be a few minutes, dear, I'm heating your roast beef.
That was Mrs. Raeburn, the school principal.
The boys didn't deposit that money in their bank account.
Well, that's funny, they said they would.
Well, it's obvious they didn't take my advice.
Not only that,
they left the school grounds without permission.
Undoubtedly, went off to buy those baseball gloves.
Well, Ward, it is their own money.
June, that's not the point.
They told us they were going to put that money in the bank.
I don't know when I've been more disappointed in those two.
Oh, now, Ward
That's the trouble with kids.
Just when you think you've built up
a real understanding with them,
a real man-to-man relationship,
they turn right around and start acting like children.
(audience laughing) (gentle orchestral music)
Well, you know what I mean.
(rising orchestral music)
(thoughtful orchestral music)
We don't have too much time, Beav,
we've gotta get back to school
before they find out we've gone.
Yeah.
After we buy the jacket, we'll put the rest in the bank.
Hey, Wally, that's some funny looking ducks.
Those aren't ducks, they're decoys.
They sure look like ducks. (Audience laughing)
What are they for?
Well, when you're hunting ducks,
you put these out in the water
and then the real ducks come down and you shoot 'em.
But why do they come down?
These are only made of wood.
Yeah, but they don't know that until they get there,
then it's too late. (Audience laughing)
Must be tough being a duck.
(audience laughing)
Uh, may I help you lads?
Yeah, we'd like to get a hunting jacket.
This way, please.
You sure got a lot of guns.
You got any BB guns, mister?
I'm sorry, Abernathy Potts doesn't carry air weapons.
(audience laughing)
Now, uh, what kind of hunting jacket did you lads want?
A bush jacket?
Safari type?
Or rugged Scotch hunter's coat?
(audience laughing)
Huh?
I'll show you what we have.
It don't matter too much, it's for our father.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, but we want to get a good one, though.
Of course.
What type of hunting does your father do?
Well, mostly he likes to hunt ducks.
They're birds. (Audience laughing)
Quite. (Audience laughing)
What size does your father wear?
Well, he's kind of, uh,
well he's bigger than you think he is.
Especially when he's mad.
(audience laughing)
Suppose we try the medium size.
Here's a very popular coat.
Fine English needlework and good Scotch ruggedness.
Wally, you try it on.
If it's lots too big for you,
it oughta be just right for Dad.
(audience laughing)
Uh, would you hold our money, mister?
Why, of course.
(audience laughing)
Hey, whaddya think, Beav?
It'll probably look better on Dad.
(audience laughing)
- I think so, too.
We'll take it, mister.
Fine, will this be a charge?
No, we got our money right here in the bag.
We've got $31.60.
Yeah, just take out how much it costs
and give us back the rest.
Oh, I'm sorry, but that won't be enough.
This jacket is $45.12, tax included.
$45?
We thunk it'd be around $6.
Boys, this jacket will last your father a lifetime.
I'm sorry, mister,
we've gotta put some of this money in the bank.
Sure wish we could buy it for our father.
I understand, boys.
I was fond of my father, too.
(audience laughing)
Thanks a lot.
Sure was a nice looking jacket, wasn't it, Beav?
Sure was.
You know, I think we oughta get Dad that jacket.
But where will we get the extra money?
I just thought of where we can get it.
Come on, Beav, let's go.
(door opens)
- Hi, dear.
(door closes)
- Oh, hi.
Are the boys home yet?
Oh, I don't know, I just got home myself.
I had to go to a meeting.
What's for supper?
Cold roast beef.
(audience laughing)
- Well, this figures.
(telephone ringing) Oh, I'll get it.
(funny orchestral music)
(freezer door slamming)
(jar clunking)
Hello.
Oh, Mrs. Raeburn.
I'm sorry to bother you in the evening.
I phoned earlier but there was no answer.
Oh, well, Mrs. Cleaver was away at a meeting.
Oh, the boys did get by the office after school?
Oh, they made the deposit then, huh?
Oh, they didn't?
They not only didn't make the deposit,
they withdrew $10 apiece from their account.
(audience laughing)
I was reluctant to give it to them but,
after all, it is their account.
Oh, yes, yes, that's perfectly all right.
Well, thank you, Mrs. Raeburn.
(telephone clunks)
Thirty-one, 32, 33, (money rustling)
What an extraordinary-looking coin.
Oh, that's a quarter, mister.
I put it on the railroad tracks.
I thought I could make a half-dollar out of it.
(audience laughing) But it didn't work.
(audience laughing)
Well, I suppose we could stretch a point and accept it.
Hey, could we take it now?
We wanna hang it in the closet to surprise Dad.
I thought it would be rather nice
if we put his monogram on it.
On the inside, naturally. (Audience laughing)
We'll send it over by special messenger tonight.
What say?
That'd be fine, thanks, Mister.
Now, remember, Beav,
don't say anything tonight and give it away.
Who, me? (Audience laughing)
(amusing orchestral music)
Well, uh, you boys are very quiet tonight.
Yes, sir.
[Ward] Something on your mind?
There's nothing on my mind.
Nothing on your mind, either, is there Beaver?
(audience laughing)
- No, sir.
I mean, no, Wally. (Audience laughing)
You boys have a hard day at school today?
Gee, mom, every day is hard at school.
The hardest part is waiting for three o'clock.
(audience laughing)
Boys, today was bank day at school, wasn't it?
Yeah, I guess it was.
Uh, pass the cookies, please?
Pass the cookies, please? (Audience laughing)
Uh, (chuckling) boys,
didn't you tell your mother and me this morning
that you were going to deposit that $30
that you'd saved into your school savings account?
Yeah, we did.
Well, did you or didn't you? (Audience laughing)
Yes, we told you, all right. (Audience laughing)
Boys, your father wonders
if you put the money in the bank or not.
No, sir, we didn't.
Oh.
Well, would one of you care to tell us
what you did do with the money?
I wouldn't. (Audience laughing)
Gee, dad, you said it was our money.
Well, I know that, Wally,
but after all you boys left the school grounds today
without permission and you spent quite a lot of money.
Now, don't you think you really owe us an explanation?
Gee, we'd like to, Dad, but, well, we can't.
(audience laughing)
Oh, you can't, huh?
Can I be excused?
I've got a lot of homework.
I suppose.
They gave me homework, too. (Audience laughing)
Now, Ward, don't lose your temper.
I'm not going to lose my temper.
But I'm not going to wait much longer
for them to tell me what they did with that money, either.
I don't care if I did tell them
they could do anything they wanted to with it.
(funny oboe music)
(cookie crunching) (audience laughing)
(upbeat orchestral music)
Oh, thank you, very much. (Door closing)
What's that?
"Wallace and Theodore Cleaver."
It's from Abernathy Potts.
Don't they sell sporting goods?
They sell the most expensive sporting goods in town.
Well, they usually go to Haney's Hardware Store.
Why would they go to Abernathy Potts
and spend that kind of money on baseball equipment?
Because they have absolutely no understanding
or appreciation of the value of $50.
Will you call them down here, please, dear?
Boys!
Will you come down here a minute?
Now, Ward, don't get excited about this.
I'm not going to get excited.
(audience laughing)
But if they're going to spend money, June,
they've got to learn to spend money properly.
But they're young, they'll learn.
(shoes clumping on stairs)
You wanted to see us, Dad?
Yes, boys, I did.
This box just came.
Now, we're all going to sit down and open it.
- But Dad
- Sit down, sit down.
And we're going to decide, as a family,
whether or not you boys have spent your money
for something worthwhile.
Gee, are you gonna open it, Dad?
Yes, I am.
And if we feel, as a family,
that you boys have made a mistake,
then we're going to return this to the store
and we're going to get your money back.
(soft orchestral music)
Ward, it's a hunting jacket.
Yeah.
Me?
Well, boys, I just don't know what to say.
Let me help you, dear.
Well, thanks a lot, thank you.
Must we gotta take it back tonight, Dad?
Well, Beaver, I wouldn't take this jacket
back for anything in the world.
But, gee, Dad, we woulda told you
how we spent the money but we wanted to surprise you.
Your father understands.
Yeah, I understand.
I just hope you boys understand me.
Well, you see, I got sort of upset
when I thought you were just squandering your money
on baseball equipment for yourselves.
Yeah, Dad, we didn't squander the money on ourselves,
we squandered it on you. (Audience laughing)
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I guess I kinda jumped to conclusions, didn't I?
I'm sorry.
That's okay, Dad.
We still love you 'cause you're our father.
(audience laughing)
Thanks, Beaver.
Well, we better go upstairs and take our baths.
We'll come up and say goodnight to you in a few minutes.
(soft orchestral music)
- Ward?
Kinda warm in here tonight.
Aren't you gonna take your jacket off?
Oh, uh, no, I'm not uncomfortable in the least, I,
not in the least.
(silly orchestral music)
- Wally?
Dad really liked the hunting jacket, didn't he?
Yeah, he sure did.
But he was pretty mad at us at supper time.
I thought we were really gonna get it.
I know, me, too.
You know, Wally, next time we surprise Dad,
maybe we oughta play safe
and let him know a little bit ahead of time.
(audience laughing)
- Yeah.
I guess I can stuff the stuffing back in this glove.
Sure, and I guess I won't look too silly
playing catcher with a first baseman's glove.
(audience laughing)
- Goodnight, Wally.
- Goodnight, Beav.
(upbeat orchestral music)
("The Toy Parade" theme music)
(intense horn music)
(students milling about)
Wally, why do you have to leave school
at lunchtime to get Dad the jacket?
This way, we can buy the jacket
and still back in time to put
the rest of the money in the bank account.
(paper sack rustling)
I sure hope the assistant principal
Mr. Bloomgarden doesn't catch us sneaking out.
Well, we'll go out the girls' entrance.
He never watches that door.
Wally, why doesn't he watch the girls' entrance?
'Cause girls never do anything bad.
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[announcer] Leave it to Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
(door opens)
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Mom, hi, Dad.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You got home early today, didn't ya?
Yeah, things were a little slow so I took a powder.
(audience laughing)
Well, that means he ducked out, Beav.
What's in the package?
Your father picked that up for you on the way home.
Oh, boy, I bet it's extra track for my electric train.
(pig scraping cardboard box) (audience giggling)
What is it?
Well, boys, it's a piggy bank.
Yeah, I guess that's what it is, all right.
(audience laughing)
Your father thought you could
start saving your dimes and quarters in it.
I thought it was about time
you started learning about thrift.
Now, you feed this pig every day
and you'll be surprised how fat he grows.
Look, I have a quarter, now I'll start you off.
(coin plinking into piggy bank)
Now, here's half a dollar.
(coin plinking into bank)
Well, what about you boys?
Well, I guess I've got a couple of dimes here.
(melodic oboe music)
(coins plinking into piggy bank)
(audience giggling)
Well, I guess I've got five cents.
But I was going to give it to Larry Mondello
for a horse tooth.
(audience laughing) He founded it in the street.
Well, come on, Beav, everybody else put something in.
(melodic oboe music)
(audience laughing)
(coin plinking into piggy bank)
Now, you see?
You've got a dollar in there already.
Sure, you keep that up and before you know it
you'll have a small fortune.
Okay, thanks a lot, dad.
Sure.
Supper will be ready in a little while, boys.
(door closing)
Wally, I got a great idea.
[Wally] What's that?
Let's break the pig open and spend the dollar.
(audience laughing)
I don't know, Beav.
Let's keep putting money in for a couple of months,
and then we'll break it open.
(audience laughing)
Okay.
I can hardly wait til it's a couple months from now.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
(melodic orchestral music)
(coins shaking inside piggy bank)
(audience laughing)
We must have a couple pounds of money here.
Yeah, we're gonna need a lot.
That catcher's mitt I'm getting costs eight bucks
and the fielder's mitt you're getting costs $5.98.
Honestly, these socks.
I don't know how Wally and the
Beaver wear them out so fast.
Oh, that's no problem for a boy.
Boys have lots of systems for wearing out socks.
Carrying marbles in them or playing basketball
without their shoes on.
(chuckles) I used to strain gas
from my outboard motor through mine.
(audience laughing)
Oh, there's no problem wearing out socks
if you really put your mind to it.
(audience laughing)
I'm afraid that one's too far gone.
Well, there's one I can fix.
You know, you're quite the little mother.
Well, there were two practical things
I learned in boarding school.
One was how to mend socks
and the other was how to make a court bow
in case I married a foreign diplomat.
So far I've only had a chance to mend socks.
(audience laughing)
Oh, that's tough luck.
But that's the way the ball bounces.
(audience laughing)
Must be reassuring, though, to know that
if the queen ever does drop in, you'll be ready.
(audience laughing)
- Yes.
Have you noticed how quiet Wally
and the Beaver are tonight?
Yeah, I have.
Think I'll see what's up.
Well, I'd think you'd be glad they're quiet.
Oh, no, I remember the things
my brother and I used to do when we were quiet.
I don't want them planning to do things like that.
(audience laughing)
Well, if the silence bothers you,
go on up and put a stop to it.
(audience laughing)
- I will.
(melodic flute music)
It sure is a swell fielder's glove.
In the ad, it says it's the kind Babe Ruth used to use.
Yeah, I know.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
- Wally?
- What?
Who's Babe Ruth?
Oh, he was before your time.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
I think he was a little before my time, too.
(audience laughing)
(door opens)
Hi, fellas.
- Oh, hi, Dad.
- Hi, Dad.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
[Ward] So whatcha doing?
Oh, nothing.
Well, I see.
Well, you're pretty busy at it, aren't you?
(audience laughing)
[Beaver] We're just getting some money out of our bank.
Yeah, Dad, I'm going to buy an eight-dollar baseball glove
and Beaver's going to buy a $5.98 one.
Well, gee, fellas,
I thought you both had baseball mitts.
Yeah, but Wally doesn't wanna play first base anymore
and the stuffing's coming out of mine.
Well, that's just a little rip, that can be sewed.
Probably another of the useful arts
your mother picked up at boarding school.
(audience laughing)
But, gee, Dad,
I'd feel kinda silly behind home plate
with a first baseman's glove.
Well, now, look boys.
It's your money. (Chuckles)
You saved it and I'm not going to try and tell you
what you oughta do with it.
You spend it any way you want.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
(coins rattling inside piggy bank)
Wait a minute, Beav.
I don't think Dad thinks we oughta buy the glove.
Do ya, Dad?
Well, now, if you ask my advice,
well, take me for instance.
I'm going hunting this next Saturday with Mr. Dennison.
And I'd like to have a new hunting jacket.
My old one's six or seven years old.
But I'm not going to go out and buy a new one.
But if we oughtn't to buy the gloves,
what do you think we oughta do with the money?
Well, tomorrow is bank day at school.
If I were you, I'd take this over
and put it in my bank account.
You're going to be going to college one of these days.
You'll find that money will come in
mighty handy then. (Laughs)
'Course I want you to think it over
and make up your own minds. (Audience laughing)
I won't interfere.
(audience laughing)
I think I'm going to have to start getting up earlier.
You say that every morning.
Yeah, well, one of these morning's,
I'm going to do it, too. (Audience laughing)
Where are the boys?
They're up getting their books.
They've already had breakfast.
I hope they take my advice
about putting that money in the bank.
Now, Ward, you told them they could do
whatever they wanted to with their money.
Now let them.
Well I intend to.
And it's going to be very interesting to see
whether they're up to handling their own money yet.
(shoes clunking on stairs)
Bye, Mom.
(lunchbox clanging)
Bye, Mom, so long, Dad.
Hey, fellas, what's in the paper sack?
Looks kinda heavy.
Oh, we've got our money in there, Dad.
Yeah, today's bank day.
We're gonna take it down and put it
in our school bank account.
Yeah, we give it to Mrs. Raeburn
and she posits it for us.
(audience chuckling)
Gee, Dad, we've almost got $32 in there.
Yeah, we counted it twice.
Well I think that's fine, boys.
Better wear your jackets today.
Okay, Mom.
Bye, Mom, and I'll go easy on my socks today.
(audience laughing)
Oh, don't look so smug.
Oh, don't you think you might've let them
buy the baseball gloves?
Well, June, I didn't tell them
they had to put that money in the bank.
It was entirely their own idea.
(audience laughing)
They'll thank me for it someday.
(audience laughing)
Wally, get my jacket for me, will ya?
Hey, what's this?
I don't know, maybe it's something.
Mom was going to give away.
Hey, I know what this is.
This is Dad's old hunting jacket.
Sure doesn't take very good care of his stuff, does he?
(audience laughing)
Well he said he'd had it for eight years.
He's done a lot of hunting in this jacket.
(sniffing) I think he's done some fishing
in it, too. (Audience laughing)
You'd think he'd buy a new one.
(zipper zipping)
Well, you can't, Beav.
When you're an older person,
you can't throw away your money on things like this.
You gotta throw it away on food
and furniture and junk like that.
(audience laughing)
What do you think?
Well, Dad's always buying us stuff.
Maybe we could use a little of the money
and buy him a new hunting jacket.
There'd still be plenty left over for the bank.
Sure, a jacket like this couldn't cost more
than a good catcher's mitt. (Audience laughing)
(melodic orchestral music)
(bell clanging)
(students milling about)
Wally, why do you have to leave school
at lunch time to get Dad the jacket?
Well, this way, we can buy Dad the jacket
and still get back in time
to put the rest of the money in the bank account.
(paper sacking rustling)
I sure hope the assistant principal
Mr. Bloomgarden doesn't catch us sneaking out.
Well, we'll go out the girls' entrance.
He never watches that door.
Wally, why doesn't he ever watch the girls' entrance?
'Cause girls never do anything bad.
(audience laughing)
(melodic orchestral music)
(feather duster rustling)
(door opening)
Well, Ward.
(door closing)
I didn't expect you home for lunch.
No?
Who did you expect? (Audience laughing)
Shouldn't that be "whom did you expect"?
Well, "who" or "whom", you're stuck me.
I was in the neighborhood looking at some property
for the office.
Can I fix you some lunch?
No, don't bother.
Oh, on second thought,
if there's any of that roast beef left,
you might warm up a couple slices of that.
You'll like it much better cold, dear.
(audience laughing)
- I'm sure I will.
(telephone ringing)
Hello.
Oh, Mrs. Raeburn.
I'm calling about Wally and Theodore.
I understand they left the school grounds
at lunchtime without permission.
They told the teachers they were going shopping.
Shopping?
Oh, incidentally, Mrs. Raeburn,
did the boys make a deposit
in their school account this morning?
Well, I'd appreciate it if you would check.
(audience tittering)
(pages turning)
No.
No, neither of the boys made a deposit.
Were they supposed to?
Oh, no, no, not exactly, no.
Well, I'll certainly speak to them
when they get home tonight
about leaving the school grounds without permission.
And thank you very much for calling.
Bye.
(orchestral string music)
It'll be a few minutes, dear, I'm heating your roast beef.
That was Mrs. Raeburn, the school principal.
The boys didn't deposit that money in their bank account.
Well, that's funny, they said they would.
Well, it's obvious they didn't take my advice.
Not only that,
they left the school grounds without permission.
Undoubtedly, went off to buy those baseball gloves.
Well, Ward, it is their own money.
June, that's not the point.
They told us they were going to put that money in the bank.
I don't know when I've been more disappointed in those two.
Oh, now, Ward
That's the trouble with kids.
Just when you think you've built up
a real understanding with them,
a real man-to-man relationship,
they turn right around and start acting like children.
(audience laughing) (gentle orchestral music)
Well, you know what I mean.
(rising orchestral music)
(thoughtful orchestral music)
We don't have too much time, Beav,
we've gotta get back to school
before they find out we've gone.
Yeah.
After we buy the jacket, we'll put the rest in the bank.
Hey, Wally, that's some funny looking ducks.
Those aren't ducks, they're decoys.
They sure look like ducks. (Audience laughing)
What are they for?
Well, when you're hunting ducks,
you put these out in the water
and then the real ducks come down and you shoot 'em.
But why do they come down?
These are only made of wood.
Yeah, but they don't know that until they get there,
then it's too late. (Audience laughing)
Must be tough being a duck.
(audience laughing)
Uh, may I help you lads?
Yeah, we'd like to get a hunting jacket.
This way, please.
You sure got a lot of guns.
You got any BB guns, mister?
I'm sorry, Abernathy Potts doesn't carry air weapons.
(audience laughing)
Now, uh, what kind of hunting jacket did you lads want?
A bush jacket?
Safari type?
Or rugged Scotch hunter's coat?
(audience laughing)
Huh?
I'll show you what we have.
It don't matter too much, it's for our father.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, but we want to get a good one, though.
Of course.
What type of hunting does your father do?
Well, mostly he likes to hunt ducks.
They're birds. (Audience laughing)
Quite. (Audience laughing)
What size does your father wear?
Well, he's kind of, uh,
well he's bigger than you think he is.
Especially when he's mad.
(audience laughing)
Suppose we try the medium size.
Here's a very popular coat.
Fine English needlework and good Scotch ruggedness.
Wally, you try it on.
If it's lots too big for you,
it oughta be just right for Dad.
(audience laughing)
Uh, would you hold our money, mister?
Why, of course.
(audience laughing)
Hey, whaddya think, Beav?
It'll probably look better on Dad.
(audience laughing)
- I think so, too.
We'll take it, mister.
Fine, will this be a charge?
No, we got our money right here in the bag.
We've got $31.60.
Yeah, just take out how much it costs
and give us back the rest.
Oh, I'm sorry, but that won't be enough.
This jacket is $45.12, tax included.
$45?
We thunk it'd be around $6.
Boys, this jacket will last your father a lifetime.
I'm sorry, mister,
we've gotta put some of this money in the bank.
Sure wish we could buy it for our father.
I understand, boys.
I was fond of my father, too.
(audience laughing)
Thanks a lot.
Sure was a nice looking jacket, wasn't it, Beav?
Sure was.
You know, I think we oughta get Dad that jacket.
But where will we get the extra money?
I just thought of where we can get it.
Come on, Beav, let's go.
(door opens)
- Hi, dear.
(door closes)
- Oh, hi.
Are the boys home yet?
Oh, I don't know, I just got home myself.
I had to go to a meeting.
What's for supper?
Cold roast beef.
(audience laughing)
- Well, this figures.
(telephone ringing) Oh, I'll get it.
(funny orchestral music)
(freezer door slamming)
(jar clunking)
Hello.
Oh, Mrs. Raeburn.
I'm sorry to bother you in the evening.
I phoned earlier but there was no answer.
Oh, well, Mrs. Cleaver was away at a meeting.
Oh, the boys did get by the office after school?
Oh, they made the deposit then, huh?
Oh, they didn't?
They not only didn't make the deposit,
they withdrew $10 apiece from their account.
(audience laughing)
I was reluctant to give it to them but,
after all, it is their account.
Oh, yes, yes, that's perfectly all right.
Well, thank you, Mrs. Raeburn.
(telephone clunks)
Thirty-one, 32, 33, (money rustling)
What an extraordinary-looking coin.
Oh, that's a quarter, mister.
I put it on the railroad tracks.
I thought I could make a half-dollar out of it.
(audience laughing) But it didn't work.
(audience laughing)
Well, I suppose we could stretch a point and accept it.
Hey, could we take it now?
We wanna hang it in the closet to surprise Dad.
I thought it would be rather nice
if we put his monogram on it.
On the inside, naturally. (Audience laughing)
We'll send it over by special messenger tonight.
What say?
That'd be fine, thanks, Mister.
Now, remember, Beav,
don't say anything tonight and give it away.
Who, me? (Audience laughing)
(amusing orchestral music)
Well, uh, you boys are very quiet tonight.
Yes, sir.
[Ward] Something on your mind?
There's nothing on my mind.
Nothing on your mind, either, is there Beaver?
(audience laughing)
- No, sir.
I mean, no, Wally. (Audience laughing)
You boys have a hard day at school today?
Gee, mom, every day is hard at school.
The hardest part is waiting for three o'clock.
(audience laughing)
Boys, today was bank day at school, wasn't it?
Yeah, I guess it was.
Uh, pass the cookies, please?
Pass the cookies, please? (Audience laughing)
Uh, (chuckling) boys,
didn't you tell your mother and me this morning
that you were going to deposit that $30
that you'd saved into your school savings account?
Yeah, we did.
Well, did you or didn't you? (Audience laughing)
Yes, we told you, all right. (Audience laughing)
Boys, your father wonders
if you put the money in the bank or not.
No, sir, we didn't.
Oh.
Well, would one of you care to tell us
what you did do with the money?
I wouldn't. (Audience laughing)
Gee, dad, you said it was our money.
Well, I know that, Wally,
but after all you boys left the school grounds today
without permission and you spent quite a lot of money.
Now, don't you think you really owe us an explanation?
Gee, we'd like to, Dad, but, well, we can't.
(audience laughing)
Oh, you can't, huh?
Can I be excused?
I've got a lot of homework.
I suppose.
They gave me homework, too. (Audience laughing)
Now, Ward, don't lose your temper.
I'm not going to lose my temper.
But I'm not going to wait much longer
for them to tell me what they did with that money, either.
I don't care if I did tell them
they could do anything they wanted to with it.
(funny oboe music)
(cookie crunching) (audience laughing)
(upbeat orchestral music)
Oh, thank you, very much. (Door closing)
What's that?
"Wallace and Theodore Cleaver."
It's from Abernathy Potts.
Don't they sell sporting goods?
They sell the most expensive sporting goods in town.
Well, they usually go to Haney's Hardware Store.
Why would they go to Abernathy Potts
and spend that kind of money on baseball equipment?
Because they have absolutely no understanding
or appreciation of the value of $50.
Will you call them down here, please, dear?
Boys!
Will you come down here a minute?
Now, Ward, don't get excited about this.
I'm not going to get excited.
(audience laughing)
But if they're going to spend money, June,
they've got to learn to spend money properly.
But they're young, they'll learn.
(shoes clumping on stairs)
You wanted to see us, Dad?
Yes, boys, I did.
This box just came.
Now, we're all going to sit down and open it.
- But Dad
- Sit down, sit down.
And we're going to decide, as a family,
whether or not you boys have spent your money
for something worthwhile.
Gee, are you gonna open it, Dad?
Yes, I am.
And if we feel, as a family,
that you boys have made a mistake,
then we're going to return this to the store
and we're going to get your money back.
(soft orchestral music)
Ward, it's a hunting jacket.
Yeah.
Me?
Well, boys, I just don't know what to say.
Let me help you, dear.
Well, thanks a lot, thank you.
Must we gotta take it back tonight, Dad?
Well, Beaver, I wouldn't take this jacket
back for anything in the world.
But, gee, Dad, we woulda told you
how we spent the money but we wanted to surprise you.
Your father understands.
Yeah, I understand.
I just hope you boys understand me.
Well, you see, I got sort of upset
when I thought you were just squandering your money
on baseball equipment for yourselves.
Yeah, Dad, we didn't squander the money on ourselves,
we squandered it on you. (Audience laughing)
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I guess I kinda jumped to conclusions, didn't I?
I'm sorry.
That's okay, Dad.
We still love you 'cause you're our father.
(audience laughing)
Thanks, Beaver.
Well, we better go upstairs and take our baths.
We'll come up and say goodnight to you in a few minutes.
(soft orchestral music)
- Ward?
Kinda warm in here tonight.
Aren't you gonna take your jacket off?
Oh, uh, no, I'm not uncomfortable in the least, I,
not in the least.
(silly orchestral music)
- Wally?
Dad really liked the hunting jacket, didn't he?
Yeah, he sure did.
But he was pretty mad at us at supper time.
I thought we were really gonna get it.
I know, me, too.
You know, Wally, next time we surprise Dad,
maybe we oughta play safe
and let him know a little bit ahead of time.
(audience laughing)
- Yeah.
I guess I can stuff the stuffing back in this glove.
Sure, and I guess I won't look too silly
playing catcher with a first baseman's glove.
(audience laughing)
- Goodnight, Wally.
- Goodnight, Beav.
(upbeat orchestral music)
("The Toy Parade" theme music)
(intense horn music)